Choices: Weight Loss, Diet, Food & Health

I came into contact with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in 2005 when I was very overweight – twice the size I should be for my frame. I ate to bury all the things I didn’t want to look at, all the hurts I had felt and buried which I turned into anger against everyone. By attending the healing courses and having sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners I began to deal with the hurts and the anger, until I got to the point where I could see really clearly that the anger I felt and dumped on everyone was the anger I had against ME as I had not made the choices I could have to stop the hurt from happening in the first place. I was just scapegoating everyone else for my own choice not to look after myself!

So step by slow step I started to make choices to look after myself. Then, working with Serge, I made choices that lead to me losing half my body weight. I began to look at what I was eating in terms of how it affected me from day to day. I knew that what I was eating was making me feel less than good, so I chose to cut some things out of my diet to see how it went. I tried to re-introduce them after a time and listened to how my body felt as I did so. The results were impressive in terms of how I felt in my body (very awesome) and what happened to the shape of my body (also very awesome!).

But these choices I made were against what I had previously been told and educated in regard to food and diet. For example:

  1. ‘Bread is a staple and part of a balanced diet’ – Yet bread gave me chronic diarrhoea, bloating, cramps and candida.
  2. ‘Alcohol is a socially acceptable part of life’ – Yet alcohol gave me mid and lower back pain, nausea and a sense of not being me at all. This feeling of not being me would last for a day or more after I had drunk it, yet I grew up with the view that it is socially acceptable to be this way, and it’s sought after and laughed about, how does that make sense?
  3. ‘Milk, cheese and dairy are the building blocks for the body’ – Yet dairy products made my nose run constantly, gave me tinitus and yet more diarrhoea.
  4. ‘Chocolate is a treat we can give ourselves for working hard and being good’ – Yet after the initial three minute yummy rush, it made me feel like I didn’t have a body at all, I was just numbed out and so happy to be numb! I questioned how is not feeling a treat?
  5. ‘Fruit is a part of a healthy diet’ – Yet I had more diarrhoea and as much of a powerful sugar rush and fuzzy cotton wool head as I had from chocolate. A sharp green apple is all I could tolerate.
  6. ‘Rice, corn, potatoes, pasta and other carbs are necessary to keep us going through the day, they stop us falling asleep mid afternoon’ – Yet they rapidly turn to sugar in the bloodstream and made me sleepy by 3pm, they also gave me a sugar rush, bloating and more diarrhoea.

All of this made me realise that what we are told about health / food / weight was not necessarily the truth. If we reflect on the state of our bodies in this world today, what are they telling us? We live in a world where cancer is 1 in 3, diabetes is the fastest growing disease on the face of the planet, illness and disease are out of control and more people are getting obese than at any other time in our history. That says a lot about how we are eating.

Listening to conventional knowledge about food created my body to be the size it was. The consequence of my choices to eat this way were taking a huge toll on my body. I certainly fell for everything I was told by health experts and pharmaceutical companies because it was easier than having to notice what impact my food and drinking habits had.

The news today is exposing what is happening in the food and beverage industry and how we have consumed. For example:

  • Almost two-thirds of people rely on alcohol to relax in the evenings, the charity ‘Drinkaware’ has warned. Drinkaware warns that alcohol might appear to aid stress but often makes things worse. (1)
  • Dr William Davies, a preventative cardiologist who practises in the USA reports in his new book ‘Wheat Belly’ that wheat is so bad for your health that it should carry a government health warning. (2)
  • The Guardian newspapers reports ‘Sugar addiction is making our children fat. Smoking and alcohol dangers are known and regulated, so why are the risks posed by junk food not taken seriously?’. (3)
  • Why our food is making us fat? We are on average three stone heavier than we were in the 60’s. We have unwittingly become sugar addicts. (4)

I started to look at why I used food, alcohol, coffee, tea and cola, to bury and hide what I was feeling. I recall feeling scared of feeling, simply because it hurt and I worried I would get lost in that hurt and be stuck there. I found that healing the hurts did not mean getting lost, it meant getting myself back.

I did not do this alone, I had help to do this and it’s an ongoing journey for me to listen to my body. I had a lifetime of looking for a true way to heal. I’d tried everything, all kinds of spiritual ‘healing’ methods and nothing worked. Yet at the first course I attended with Universal Medicine I felt the truth in my body for the first time. It was here that I was offered a true reflection of what my life could be if I started to take responsibility for my choices. It wasn’t what anyone told me, it was always me feeling me. Before this I would never have admitted to the fact that I lied to myself and numbed myself out of existence.

I know that in my life I have invested so much of me looking for what the world was telling me – what I should do and what I should be. I constantly sought to ‘be something’ for the world. I ignored myself and any connection with who I truly am inside. If I didn’t meet what I thought the world wanted of me, most of the time I’d fall into self-loathing and beating myself up for not being enough. The demands of the world were always more important than me.

But by allowing myself to be me, means I can be with me in the world and not get lost in what the world demands.

I consider myself to be very fortunate to have stumbled upon Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. He has supported me to change a life that was not serving me or anyone around me. He never told me to eat in a certain way or live in a certain way, there never have been any rules. I feel my own way to live.

Serge Benhayon has the highest level of integrity and it is this level of integrity that is unknown anywhere else in the world today. It is in all his work, whether it’s in the modalities he introduces in the courses or in the presentations or books he writes. He is a shining example in this world as he lives what he talks.

by Ariana Ray



179 thoughts on “Choices: Weight Loss, Diet, Food & Health

  1. Diets, willpower, self bludgeoning, New Years Resolutions – none of these things work to change how and why we eat, we definitely need a new way to approach eating, and as your story reveals Ariana there are deeper reasons why we choose to overeat and not care for ourselves. To truly heal we need the foundation of self care and listening honestly to our body, and the support to understand ourselves and the “why’s” behind our choices to truly change our repetitive cycles of harmful eating.

  2. Food that one person can seem to tolerate others cannot and with both food allergies and obesity escalating the way that we are in our societies maybe we need to be far more discerning with the quality of our diet and do far more study on what is actually a healthy diet that our body can indeed tolerate.

  3. This blog just oozes responsibility, taking responsibility of all our choices that have resisted love and healing. And from that honesty, we know what changes to make, and we do not have to do it alone….as Ariana has mentioned. I feel this is super important to ask for support because when we start to heal our hurts, it can be challenging, but support is always at hand, we just have to ask.

  4. Choices is the very first word in the title. Just knowing that we have a choice not just in every situation or in our relationships, but in fact we have a choice in every moment of our lives; that choice is to ‘be love’ or not to be love with both having very different results and consequences.

  5. ‘I questioned how is not feeling a treat?’ A great question and one we often ignore, and it shines a light on the fact that much of what we consider treats are in fact numbing us and relieving us … and then the next question how are we living so we need to be relieved?

  6. Amazing how we conveniently lie to ourselves and are prepared to accept lies from others (e.g. alcohol is normal) so as to avoid dealing with our stuff…

  7. “All of this made me realise that what we are told about health / food / weight was not necessarily the truth.” And the realisation in itself is a huge step, and not to judge, but it shows the willingness to take responsibility for our own life and well-being.

  8. There is SO much judgement around weight. We need to be free to be what and who we are and feel the way forward from there, with truth, and with support, when the time is right.

    1. Very true Victoria, and this alone can keep us in the vicious circle of never finding contentment with oneself.

  9. Loads of people keep clothes for when they loose weight, I was keeping clothes for when I put on weight, both are as harmful as we are not accepting that this may be our true body weight. We are always looking to be a ‘better’ size . I threw all the clothes that were too big for me out last night, it felt awesome and it gave me permission to accept my weight.

  10. The equation is very obvious, isn’t it? There are so many companies that would go out of business if we the general public realised how powerful we truly were and started making choices based on the truth we felt within us. They are too many of them that are benefitting as long as we are lost and keep avoiding taking responsibility. And we are asking for it.

  11. I grew up thinking being thin and having the perfect body was the be all and end all, the answer to all my problems. I got thin and nothing changed on the inside, you could imagine how disappointed I was that I did not suddenly feel beautiful and amazing. No amount of outer change makes a difference, it is only when we work on what is going on within does change occur, as true beauty comes from within.

  12. It is indeed such good fortune to come to the conclusions that you have Ariana for yourself. To someone who hasn’t experienced what you have, it may seem baffling, but also dig into something we may not have paid attention to all our lives. I have found the relationship we build with our bodies is one the most inspiring things in life, that we make choices and come to the conclusions irrefutable as felt from the bodies, this is so deeply inspiring and a true way to learn.

  13. It’s funny how we’ve seen drinking alcohol as being sociable… but what is sociable about not being totally with ourselves when being with other people? Something else that I’ve realised is how we will surround ourselves with the information and advice that we ourselves only want to hear… as in, looking for reasons why (or more like excuses) to keep eating or drinking, or behaving in a way that hurts us.

  14. There is so much information out there when it comes to food. Sometimes I feel that the reliance on this information is actually our greatest downfall. Our bodies know, full stop. But we continually over ride what we innately know to suit an ideal, our align with information that suits us, instead of honoring our body and living by its direction.

  15. ‘All of this made me realise that what we are told about health / food / weight was not necessarily the truth.’ Yes, as more and more of us are finding out. It’s interesting in particular that medicine, for the most part, ignores the impact of diet and then has to run ’round patching us up when we don’t listen to our bodies’ responses.

  16. ‘The demands of the world were more important than me’ … I recognise this hugely Ariana, and what a trap it is, as we do not care for us, and we leave ourselves at the mercy of the world, and then come to resent both ourselves and the world. It’s a huge freedom when we come to understand that we and the world are equal and how we treat ourselves sets the basis for how we treat all others.

  17. ‘I feel my own way to live.’
    This is the key – we actually all know how to live in a way that honours the light and love that we are. It’s a matter of being willing to say that the current way is not working and from there, from a place of self-honesty one can work towards a truer and more connected way of living.

  18. I love the way you eventually did lose weight Ariana . . . I loved the way you experimented on yourself and listened to your body and how you were and possible still are looking at what you were eating in terms of how it affected you from day to day. . . . and all the time allowing yourself to feel your feelings rather than eating to numb yourself. I would say this is the most powerful diet ever!

  19. Food and how and when we eat it is constantly affecting our body. Reading this article one could say ‘that is just how your body is, mine is different and I can eat whatever I like’. Yet as the statistics show, the rates of illness are higher than ever before, so can we really continue to use such blatant lies to justify or ill ways of caring for ourselves?

  20. We can spend many lives looking for the answers to our woes on the outside. It’s not till we search within that we realise we had them all along.

  21. Someone loosing half their body weight is hugely significant and I’d imagine it would be a decent before and after photo. This is not a massive secret or action, “so I chose to cut some things out of my diet to see how it went. I tried to re-introduce them after a time and listened to how my body felt” most doctors and health care practitioners are using this as a diagnoses tool when it comes to what we eat and most of us are able to do this when it’s needed. The only thing that slips is the consistency of the same, the ongoing dedication to holding a feeling and a clarity that comes with this feeling. This is where Universal Medicine have supported, we think things just happen and yet there is a magically science of movement all around us. Birds and other animals don’t just move, there is a direct relationship with everything around them that comes into play. Where as we seem to get caught in the ‘just me’ world. Universal Medicine supports the bigger part and this allows us to see the greater world. When it comes to eating it’s not just what you may feel like when you open the fridge it becomes a living part of you and so the decision has a greater impact.

  22. ‘Why is not feeling a treat?’ So true – we’re constantly bombarded with food, distractions and entertainment so that we don’t have to feel anything at all. Are we not wanting to feel because then we’d have to feel the great and not so great choices we’ve made, and the actual state our body is in? The tension and stress we put it under, our own emotions, and those we’ve taken on from others? But getting real and listening to what our body is telling us is the only way to start dealing with whatever we’ve buried in it – otherwise we keep carrying it around, allowing whatever we haven’t dealt with to influence our every choice and behaviour.

  23. “I questioned how is not feeling a treat?” When we shut ourselves off from what our body is feeling we are left in the confusion of not knowing who we are.

  24. What you say in the first para Ariana is already such a huge revelation and healing it should stand alone as a blog. If we all took responsibility for our lives, our hurts and our issues and connected to how much of the pain we feel is due to our choices and not being some helpless victim of the choice of others – the world would be a very different place. This does not for one second excuse any abusive choices that others may make, but it is far more empowering and healing to first look at our own choices.

  25. I read an article in the paper at the weekend on the dangers of going dairy free. It was all based around our calcium intake. The whole article was directly from the minds perspective and did not consider what the body might have to say if it could speak. Yes, can argue about the calcium thing but I am someone who has perfect calcium levels and I have not had any dairy in over 5 years. Our mind has been given free reign to dictate what the body needs. Do we really think the body, that performs daily miracles, is not that smart?

  26. As a teenager and 20 something year old I ate enormous amounts of chocolate, but the problem was there was never enough. I could eat a whole family block and almost still want more. The objective became finding enough chocolate to make me so sick I didn’t want any more… not very smart, and not a great way to live!

  27. ‘The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it’- George Orwell. We don’t want our comfort rocked, so prefer to carry on smoking, drinking alcohol, consuming junk foods etc, because we ‘enjoy’ them. Woe betide those who stand up for the truth; they get attacked and vilified. Often only after their deaths does humanity discover the truth of their words.

  28. So many people say ‘it’s ok to eat and drink whatever you fancy so long at its in moderation’ yet I feel this is said to make them feel better! I have often pondered on this statement probably because of the number of times I have heard it and come to the conclusion ‘why would you put a food even in moderation into the mouth if it harms you?’ There has to be more at play here than meets the eye which Ariana so beautifully writes about in her blog yet most of us are not willing to go there because of the comfort we get from eating food, drinking alcohol and other drinks with large amounts of sugar.

  29. Great blog Ariana, it is so powerful to listen to the body and discern for ourselves. In fact far more powerful than listening to potentially agenda driven ‘science’ at times who might justify that a glass of wine a day actually helps to ensure we dont get cancer!! Go figure – back in the day that was a thing!! The body has no agenda, it is just honest and loves us to our core, I trust that now more than anything else and that is thanks to Serge Benhayon bringing a level of honesty and integrity to my awareness again that I had chosen not to live.

  30. Understanding and being honest about what we are choosing and why we are making that choice is an important step in healing.

  31. It’s completely interesting that Serge Benhayon attracts the ire that he does. I guess that’s what happens when lies are challenged and institutions held to account. It doesn’t make you popular, to say the least. Yet, understanding all of this, he continues to present truth, knowingly walking to the gallows with the same level of openness and acceptance with which he approaches far more palatable matters. Now that’s love.

  32. ‘All of this made me realise that what we are told about health / food / weight was not necessarily the truth.’ Yes, and what does this say about the food industry, and the governments that promulgate the food pyramids that tell us dairy, gluten and sugars are good for us? They’re either blind to the true state of human ill health and the role food plays in creating this, or are wilfully peddling products and beliefs that harm, or both – which further begs the question… why would they do such things? Is it greed, ignorance or something else?

  33. This may have been written over four years ago but very little has changed. We are still being fed mis-truths about food by the media, the food industry and at times the medical profession; people are still struggling with their weight and their diet, and as a result obesity, diabetes and the incidence of other life styles illnesses are rising. As a result the quality of life for so many is diminishing day by day. What Serge Benhayon has been sharing with the world around food and our eating behaviours has changed the lives of hundreds, if not thousands, you and me included, and this the whole world deserves to know.

  34. Losing half your body size – incredible and especially so because it was not through any diet or other unhealthy regimens. You resolved to get to the bottom of your hurts and just started listening to the messages your body gave you. Simple but not always easy, our habits and belief systems can be so very strong and ingrained. But it is well worth it, life is never the same after we make these changes.

  35. We are our own best science experiment and scientist – there is no other better person than yourself to work out what is right for your own body when it comes to eating.

  36. “I certainly fell for everything I was told by health experts and pharmaceutical companies because it was easier than having to notice what impact my food and drinking habits had.” I can relate to this too Ariana, fooling myself that I was complying with what the professionals were stating was supposedly ‘healthy’ was reacting big time in my body. After stopping and being honest with myself I realised I wanted to numb my body because then I did not have to feel how my choices were harming me and why I wanted to bury and hold on to my emotional hurts.

  37. We use the world as our punching bag when we do not want to stop, feel and take responsibility for the choices we have made that have not honoured the true beauty we each in essence are.

  38. Thank you Ariana for exposing some of the current myths that we have around food and drink and what we tell ourselves about them, when our bodies are in reality saying something completely different.

  39. Being honest about why we make choices is the first step towards healing. It is not a matter of discipline, but of insight and understanding. When we arrive at the real truth behind those choices we are well armed to make different choices that are likely to be sustainable.

  40. Approaching food from the mind and what thought is to be good for you is bringing carelessness to the body if it is not considered or felt. “The body is the marker of truth” SIB and listening to it before and after eating is the best medicine. The body receives the food and it is a great discerner to what we receive in the mind is true or not.
    “I know that in my life I have invested so much of me looking for what the world was telling me – what I should do and what I should be.” Research continually contradicts itself. Your body is not a contradiction it is a product of your choices including the obvious food.

  41. The absolute and exquisite beauty of regaining a relationship with our own bodies, is that we come to realise just how much the body does know… It knows what sugar is doing to us, alcohol, dairy and the rest… oftentimes displaying its knowing with vociferous loudness!
    Amazing, or should we say ‘exposing’ then, that despite the oftentimes ‘din’ coming from our own bodies, we yet continue to self-harm, self-punish, and self-destruct. Until we say yes once again to a connection with the inner-most part of who we are, ever sacred and true, that has patiently awaited our return for however many aeons it may take… from which the most sacred relationship with our bodies finally makes absolute sense.

  42. How painful it is, to have abdicated ourselves to a way of living that is little more than trying to meet measures set by everyone but ourselves… A brilliant sharing Ariana Ray – exposing the root of why our world and its people are so very plagued with obesity, depression and so much more.

  43. In our present day society where our conventional medical system is practicing evidence based science and our technology and intelligence has supposedly evolved to its greatest heights than ever before ‘we are on average three stone heavier than we were in the 60’s’. That’s a massive increase in our waist bands which is having serious implication on our health stats. What is going on?

  44. “But by allowing myself to be me, means I can be with me in the world and not get lost in what the world demands.”
    Connecting to and feeling oneself is the greatest gift and treat we can give ourselves, and no chocolate, cheese or glass of wine will ever achieve that but creates exactly the opposite, a disconnection from oneself, as has been shared in this blog.

  45. I have seen pictures of you before Universal Medicine Ariana and the change in you is nothing short of a miracle. Good on you for taking responsibility, dealing with life and making choices that as a by product transformed the way you looked. Knowing you now and how much you shine and take care of yourself it is hard to imagine you any other way. Continue to shine bright Ariana – you’re gorgeous!

  46. Extraordinary story Ariana. You might ask, why do you make those choices and other people don’t? Because we all DO know what supports us. Could it be that your life had hit point that it was so bad, that you said enough is enough? And then run into somebody (Serge Benhayon) who presented a different way? You are a shining example of that different way.

  47. Articles such as this one are so much needed in the world, the broader community have to be made aware of the harm certain foods and drink cause

  48. It’s extraordinary how many of us choose lying to ourselves rather than taking responsibility for what we have chosen and address the fall out of our poor choices. Your extraordinary transformation is a testament to the power of the latter.

  49. It is for every single one of us to find out what is healthy food for us and our body. But what I have found a lot with people I meet in my shop, is that people know what not good foods are doing to them but continuing to consume them… So the question rise: why do we eat what is not serving us well? Or better asked: what is served by this kind of foods to us? And as you so great explain Arianna, it is that we feel sick, not well and unhealthy. To be exposed in this is not nice, it is in fact a challenge. But to avoid this reflection does not make sense at all and it does just delay the examination. To face what we do and why it supports us to face one day the truth of us again in the mirror – a joy to experience, I can say from my own and when I look at you Arianna!

  50. There are so many diets out there and it’s no wonder we get up in our heads about it. I would say that the best form of diet would be to just be yourself and then what we eat will accommodate that way of being.

  51. I can really relate to the fact that yes there are demands in the world and the way people live to those demands is demanding of us to do the exact same. It’s like people get disturbed when you don’t join in with their activities but it’s that undercurrent of demand that is attracting and demanding of others to follow suit. Otherwise without the numbers to bolster that energy up what is it if no one is playing it’s game? And at the same time I can relate to the fact that I only feel the weight of those demands when I choose to take them into my body and into my life, when I choose to play by their rules essentially. The only power that expectation and demand and temptation have over us is the power we give to it.

  52. The world of dieting and healthy living promotes the quick fixes and how our lives will change as a result of losing weight. I have watched many friends over the years lose a remarkable amount of weight and the gain it all back on from set programs that were often designed from a “healthy way” not a “living way”. Thank you Ariana Ray for sharing the support you received from Serge Behayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine that encompasses understanding the root causes that leads to life term rather than long term weight loss.

  53. Thank you Ariana for a great blog, it is amazing how we choose to not listen to the bodies call for change until someone comes along and points the way not only in presentations but by his lived experience, we are then offered a choice to become responsible for our choices and listen to our bodies, the changes that can then happen to our lives are nothing short of amazing.

  54. I used to be really overweight and nothing I tried would shift it. When I started the work with Universal Medicine I started to listen to my body more and the weight dropped away. My weight has been holding again recently because I haven’t yet deepened this love and haven’t responded to further changes I felt. Though my body isn’t like what it used to be, it is still too heavy for me and it feels like a blessing to realise this and again start to make further changes.

  55. The 3pm chocolate bar used to be a way of life for me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop the sugar crash in the afternoon. I tried diet after diet, nothing worked. Now with no gluten, sugar or dairy, there is no 3pm dip. It is like a miracle, but it was so simple!

    1. That actually makes sense – if you don’t let yourself dip, you won’t need a ‘pick-me-up’ later. Therefore to truly look after ourselves we need only eat food that supports our body to stay in a harmonious state, rather than plug it with uppers and downers (sugar, caffeine,dairy, gluten etc.) that keep us in a continual state of disharmony that then creates a tension in the body we are forever seeking to alleviate. Talk about a vicious cycle!

  56. The beliefs we think are real, are clearly shown not to be real once you are willing to see the truth.

  57. When you start to drop food patterns that don’t support you its like an onion peeling off layers- the more you listen to your body, the more the layers drop off and the more your true self can start to come out.

  58. Love how you dish-up the myths about food Ariana and bring it back to the body – What does the body actually need.?

  59. Ariana, I too “consider myself to be very fortunate to have stumbled upon Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon”; in fact it was the most fortuitous stumble of my life. Listening to Serge’s presentations it didn’t take long for me to realise that I had found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that I was endlessly searching for, and that my body actually was telling me the truth when it gave me messages that it didn’t like dairy, gluten and sugar, amongst other things. Today with my connection to my body the clearest it has ever been the quality of my way of living has sky rocketed and with it my health and my love for life.

  60. Great blog Ariana and great insights into the power of listening to the communication of our body. There is a partnership needed when we look at what, when and why we eat what we eat. This has to be part of the discussion because obesity is a major problem and is indicative of nearly every lifestyle disease out there. We have the opportunity through blogs such as yours to bring awareness to our choices.

  61. Our ways with food comes as no surprise to me because food is actually one of the most comforting and additive substances in our world today. It is ‘safe’ and can numb our hurts and hence why it actually is never about dieting or trying to ‘eat right’ but actually about healing the underlying hurts we still use food for as a comforting cushion of our pains.

    1. Yes Joshua this is the key point we consider food safe and don’t stop to feel and go that little bit deeper to determine what is driving the choices we make around food. As you share ‘it actually is never about dieting or trying to ‘eat right’ but actually about healing the underlying hurts we still use food for as a comforting cushion of our pains.’ If we stop and consider this statement there is much we could learn about the way we choose to use food and the way we eat.

      1. Well said Jade. This is a responsibility that can be seen as ‘no fun’ or even rather daunting. But in-truth it is neither, it is actually very very simple and extremely loving. Its just our hurts that we do not want to deal with that get in the way of this

  62. What you have shared here Ariana is gold. Taking responsibility for our choices brings us back to living from truth and honesty, such healing unfolds from there and allows us to move forward and learn what triggers the feelings and issues that may spring up. This connection with our bodies is the foundation for health for all.

  63. ‘I questioned how is not feeling a treat?’ Great question!!! I know there are times when I have preferred numbness over feeling what there is to be felt. Certainly emotional pain can be excruciating but once we can step back from it and observe it, we get to see it was a choice we made and that life doesn’t have to be full of pain. It can be a difficult lesson to accept, but well worth the effort.

  64. Social norms are a powerful method that often over rides our decision making with what feels right for the body when decisions are coming from the head. The saying “I knew I should have listened to myself” is a great marker that feeling how the body responds to food is the most powerful marker of all.

  65. The issue of food and what we choose to put into our body is interesting. Listening to presentations by Serge Benhayon and hearing him share how he constantly refines what he eats as he feels the effect on his body I decided to give it a try as do many other students of Universal Medicine. I had not heard the word ‘gluten’ but now it is a hot topic, governments around the world are discussing a sugar tax, official ‘recommended’ limits of alcohol are constantly lowering with alcohol now being recognised as not good for anyone, the long-held belief that we all need dairy in our diet is shown to not be the case. The ripple effect of those choosing to take responsibility for the food they eat and the awareness of how it affects the body is being felt in wider and wider circles.

  66. Using food to dull our senses is a huge occurrence that 99.99% of people do. Myself included. When in inner turmoil it seems like a smart idea to use food to numb, its cheap, not illegal and everyone else is doing it, however the repercussions in the body are felt very fast. They give us the ability to self-assess whether that was the right thing to do or not. Not only do we get the physical repercussion but the issue we tired to avoid in the first place actually begins to build and gets worse. Therefore next time more potent numbing substances will be required. You see how and why a large proportion of our population is overweight. In the end it doesn’t make sense but only provides momentary relief and makes it more burdensome in the time soon to come.

  67. It’s extraordinary the lengths we go to to avoid feeling what we are really feeling. We even create dramas so that we can play out our hurts without having to go deeper and feel what’s really going on and where these feelings are originating from – or we can actually find the source and still not choose to support ourselves in changing anything. It is a great testament to your dedication to yourself that you turned your life around so that now you can be of true service to others on a more consistent level also.

  68. I have stopped drinking alcohol completely 6 years ago and never felt so good. I remember when I use to study various alternative therapies and some would say that beer was ok should we choose to have a drink, but for me that doesn’t make sense any more. Whether it’s carob to replace chocolate or any sugar substitute, it doesn’t help. In my experience, chocolate, lactose, sugar, gluten in any form is super addictive, so as a personal choice, I stay away from them. But as you said Ariana, should I get a sugar crave, I would go for a green apple and I allow myself some liquorice for now. We are all experiencing this challenges differently so the best is for one to feel what is ok for them and what is not and how their body is reacting.

  69. This has been key for me concerning my developing self awareness and well being “I recall feeling scared of feeling…” I have been terrified of actually feeling what there is to feel, worried that it would be too much for me to handle. I still have a way to go, I can now ‘feel’ that there is so much more to feel and I am still very much learning or practicing to honour what I feel. Learning to ‘feel’ whatever comes up for me personally or around me has meant that I do not head for cake or coffee to deal with emotions triggered by reaction or attempting to bury ‘feelings’. I now am able to nominate that a certain feeling either feels great or not so great and in so doing I am able to observe what is occurring much more than being in ‘it’ and reacting to it. This regained self awareness has had profound impact on my life, including my relationship with food and drink, it has altered how I approach it. “Am I eating this to support me or because I am trying to bury something I do not want to feel?” A question that is now part of my everyday life. Thank you Ariana.

  70. Before attending Universal Medicine I had considered myself a very honest person who took responsibility for my life, including eating what I thought was a healthy diet. It was quite a shock to realise that I was in a deep illusion and that the choices I thought I was making were in fact just following commonly pedalled ideas. In other words, I was just one of the many sheep following along in the mob. The idea of checking my own body for how my choices felt was quite a novel idea but it made sense. I wondered how I had allowed myself to be so easily led which led me to have to acknowledge that I wasn’t as honest and responsible with myself as I had thought I was. Furthermore, a lot of what I was eating and doing was so that I didn’t feel what was going on. Over time I am learning to use my body as the marker and to then make choices that are right for me.

  71. Humanity is so lost and actually knows what is is the cause of it but we conveniently chooses to not pay attention to this, and instead continue to bury the hurt that we feel from the abusive ways we live by eating the foods that support us in this. How insane this is while we call ourselves intelligent people! Thank you Ariana Ray for sharing your story of how you have taken the steps to undo this irresponsible behaviour and by you doing this you are an role model for many.

  72. ‘I was just scapegoating everyone else for my own choice not to look after myself!’ I love the total honesty that you have expressed in your article Ariana and how you shared your anger was the result of the hurts you had buried…. and so you ate to comfort and protect yourself from those same hurts. This is a common pattern shared by many in this day and aged as evidenced by society’s present and escalating rates of obesity. But, overeating and indulging is merely one way of burying our hurts. As individuals we all have our own set of familiar patterns and indulgences and these patterns feed us in many different and unique ways and lead to a seemingly infinite variety of not so loving behaviours and beliefs that we live and share with others. These patterns also can be quite mischievous and lay the foundations for us to also scapegoat and blame others for our own choices simply because this is easier to do than to feel what your own choices have created for yourself in your own life. . Thankyou Ariana. Awesome article.

    1. The more we bury our hurts the more food/ TV/ alcohol/ games/ or emotional stories we need to keep them buried. Yet they find a way to the surface like pernicious weeds come up through concrete.
      We can scapegoat for all we are worth, but the simple fact is, we have to deal with them. Our choices will always bring us back to choosing one of the following:
      1. Love
      2. Not love.
      That’s all there is. No other options exist. So it’s always down to us to build the life we want .

  73. Ariana what powerful piece that exposes so many of the myths we can fall for within society about the way we eat and live. What resonated with me was your expression around feeling your hurts. I too have shied away from feeling hurts yet I can feel from your writing the true power and freedom that comes with allowing yourself to feel the true you. Getting honest, taking responsibility and not holding back the truth of who we are.

  74. Your story is a real sign of the times.
    How many people are struggling desperately to improve their health and address their weight problems, yet being told so many things to do that actually do not support their body at all. It is great that you have shared your experience, and how feeling what your body tells you is the greatest tool in supporting it.

  75. ‘I constantly sought to ‘be something’ for the world. I ignored myself and any connection with who I truly am inside. If I didn’t meet what I thought the world wanted of me, most of the time I’d fall into self-loathing and beating myself up for not being enough.’
    I can so relate to that statement, and, like you, I am in the process of turning that around by deepening my connection to my body and making the choice to align and act from those True impulses, rather than what my head or the world tell me I should do or be!
    Unleashing the True Woman that I am!

  76. ‘Listen to the body’ was said to me many times when I was training in bodywork, but it was about developing a kinesthetic sensitivity and awareness, so I knew how my body felt to me, and some emotional charge held there, but in my honesty, I feel the body was seen and treated as a dumping ground. It was only when I encountered Universal Medicine a sense of honouring and humbleness, where I may consider my choices as my responsibility in the entire picture, was introduced.

  77. Is it possible that weight loss doesn’t come from different food choices? That different food choices are able to occur from a different life-style? That the different life-style occurred from choosing love? That choosing love was supported by Serge Benhayon? My hypothesis is: weight loss doesn’t come from food choices, but from love choices.

  78. I love your honest sharing, Ariana. If we are willing to listen to our bodies there is such a level of honesty. And the choices we make are our medicine and influence our heath. What a crazy world we live in with sugar and gluten & products containing dairy at every supermarket check out and actively promoted when I pay for my petrol? I feel there is so much that can numb me and stop me from feeling how powerful I actually am.

  79. This is really fabulous, Ariana. We really do need to listen to and feel what our body tells us and honour it as much as we possibly can.

  80. Thank you Ariana for outlining so clearly the many mistruths that we take on in relation to diet and lifestyle in order to numb,distract and hide from the hurts that we are so unwilling to look at that we would rather live lives of ill health rather than deal with our issues. How crazy is this and how far away from living lives of responsibility have we come?

  81. Its staggering that in spite of more documented evidence and lots of anecdotal evidence to the contrary, authorities still promote the foods you mention as ‘healthy’, or at least alright in ‘moderation’. We must do as you did and bring it back to the individual and honour what our body is telling us. Thank you Ariana

  82. Thank you Ariana for such a great blog. What I often ponder is why it took a presentation from Serge Benhayon for me to admit that inside I had always known the truths you share, but overrode what I felt and listened to ‘experts’ in the fields of nutrition and health – thinking that they must know better than me, even though my body was showing me that gluten, dairy, alcohol and chocolate were making me fat and sick. I have come to understand that it was exactly eating those foods that made me numb and unable to connect to the truth within myself, and even in the fleeting moments that I did connect, I did not want to be responsible for my choices. It was easier to find ‘experts’ who told me what I wanted to hear, e.g. chocolate was good for me and if eaten before every meal could help me lose weight. Now that I choose to listen to my body, this sounds ridiculous, but at the time I so wanted it to be true. I really appreciate Serge Benhayon sharing the truth from his body that he lives so that I have had an opportunity to honour what I feel and connect to that same truth of my own within myself.

    1. So true Carmin. I knew sugar, alcohol, gluten and dairy were not good for me, my body was telling me in so many ways, yet I didn’t want to listen to the signs like bloating and constipation and raciness, because I knew it would mean giving up on foods that I didn’t want to give up on and somehow it seemed ‘unfair’ that so many people seemed to be ok eating them and I wasn’t. By the time I met Serge Benhayon I was already trying gluten free foods and cutting down on sugar, and had just about cut out dairy because of the stomach pains I was having, but it was only when Serge started to present about the many ways these foods affect us that I could see that this was also happening to my body. I got to understand that these foods really are harming and that we don’t need them in our diet. What he was saying made sense and gradually the more I cut things out of my diet that affected me, the less tired I felt, I had more vitality and felt healthier than I had for a long time.

  83. Ariana, I too find it hard to believe that we are still being given old information on what are the best food groups for us to eat to have a healthy body. As you say, so many of us have reactions to a lot of these foods, for instance gluten, dairy and sugar. Why aren’t we being truthfully informed by health authorities? I feel there must be money at the bottom of this somewhere…

  84. Not only you reduced substantially your frame size and weight, but also you learned that excessive eating is directly related to hurts that you want to make sure that you do not feel. So, eating was your way to try to bury them as deep as possible and to generate a cushion that guaranteed isolating them as much as possible from your being. It makes perfect sense as strategy if this is the goal, but health and life wise, it does not make any sense. By working really hard to avoid feeling your hurts, misery became the theme of your life. Thank God you came across Universal Medicine!

    The package of what you got thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon is extraordinary!! You were able to remove yourself from where you were through the power of choice making. In this process, too, you got re-educated about life, food, and health. Now you know the extent to which things are interrelated. In this regard, you carry with you an invaluable lived experience that can inspire others in a similar situation.

  85. It is interesting to see how what is considered by the ‘experts’ and reported in all the media as healthy can cause such negative reactions in one’s body. It is clear that when you listen to the body – you can’t go wrong, when it comes to our bodies – we are the experts.

    1. This is also what struck me reading this article. The scientific or professional reports, statistics etc. that we rely on do not seem to be what we would truly deem scientific, professional and statistics that reflect how it truly is. Besides that we do know that certain things do not become us or are simply poisonous to our bodies system. Yet, we like to be fooled and use ‘wrong evidence’ to argue to make our case. I agree with you Sam, we are the experts when it comes to our bodies and it is time that we take on this responsibility.

    2. Exactly Sam because what works for one person may not work for another, this is why we are all experts of our own body’s needs.

  86. Stopping eating gluten, dairy and sugar wasn’t that difficult. I sometimes feel like having those things again, but what I find is that if I want those things, it is a signal or symptom of something else. So I go digging and sometimes find a corker of an issue that I may have been trying to ignore or sometimes I’m plain exhausted, which is another symptom of the choices I make. It all points to choices and responsibility. Honestly speaking, without the latter in making the former we will be a race of very ill people.

  87. I considered what you wrote Ariana in relation to sugar and it make me think of animals. We know not to feed pets sugar as it is harmful to their bodes and their organs can’t assimilate it. Yet, is it any different to feed sugar to a child, or indeed ourselves, for while it doesn’t immediately kills us, it is harming our bodies to have to process it. So it is slowly killing us, it is criminal how many foods have added sugar now, and how misleading and devious food companies are in adding hidden sugar to food that doesn’t need it. Alcohol can be included in this of course, being higher in sugar than just about anything, added to the mix of the poisonous chemicals and it doesn’t get much harder for our bodies to handle than this.

    1. Funny how we know not to feed animals or small children sugar, yet somewhere, somehow it becomes OK, and then normal, to feed it to ourselves as we grow. It’s as if we detach ourselves from our bodies so that the harm cannot be done psychologically. So in thinking and not feeling, the poison is absorbed physically into our bodies and the harm is done.

  88. Thank you Ariana, for sharing with us the importance and benefits of listening to the wisdom of our bodies.

  89. Ariana what strikes me most is how inaccurate our education around food is, I remember being told again and again dairy is what makes you strong and grow and you can’t live without bread – points my body and my health definitely don’t agree with! And then we’re also educated that it’s food that makes us overweight, rather than the underlying emotional issues that are effecting us and the way we eat. Education has a lot to answer for here.

    1. Yes it does Meg as yes ‘how inaccurate our education around food is’. There is a reluctance to look at changing things and people do suffer, but the love of what goes in our mouths is given priority, we are literally fed rubbish and poison our bodies with it daily. Could it be because it feels great in our mouths and that is given a priority over good sense? Or is there more going on? For if we keep on eating to dull what we feel then we never get to wake up to the facts of what is really going on. We also never get to feel what our bodies are screaming at us.
      I would not trade being who I am today for any mouthwatering cakes, bread or haute` cuisine. I opt for being delicious – that is being myself.

  90. My body also reacted to the same foods you have mentioned and for years I suffered with ill health and over weight, but when I went to the doctor and took some allergy tests they came back normal, which surprised me. Then I went to a presentation run by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon confirmed my feelings of the effects of gluten, dairy and alcohol which I have since given up and the improvement to my health and quality of life has been nothing short of a miracle. Thank you for your very inspiring blog Ariana.

  91. This line stood out for me: ‘I found that healing the hurts did not mean getting lost, it meant getting myself back’. This has been my experience since I have been attending courses with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who have supported me to take responsibility for me life and who have provided the support for me to work through my issues and my hurts in the most loving way. Awesome and inspiring article Ariana, of the changes and new choices you have made.

  92. Great blog Ariana, I have never been what this world would call overweight. As a child/teenager I was very thin and got teased a lot about my shape. I felt unworthy and sad so at an early age began to drink and take drugs to bury the fact that I didn’t feel enough. I remember even countless times where the alcohol and drugs were not enough and I would binge eat until I felt like a beached whale and could not move from the sofa. It was only much later on in life that I began to look at why I felt this way and my part in it that I could change my food choices. I come across people who know they are over eating all the time but they can’t stop themselves. If we go deeper and look at ‘why’ then that empowers us to heal and make a different choice.

    1. That is so true – it’s the ‘why’ that matters, it’s easy to know that we are doing and eating things that hurt us – but it’s the ‘why’ we do it that’s important.

      1. The turning point comes when we realise that our life is made up of choices and that we CAN make changes.

        If we choose to nurture and care for ourselves over the urge to bury our hurts and not feel, then our lives begin to transform.

        With our awareness and our ability to make choices we have power to live in a way that does not abuse our bodies.

    2. ‘If we go deeper and look at ‘why’ then that empowers us to heal and make a different choice.’
      This is a great sharing Fiona, thank you for being so open about your past choices. It is by going deeper that we can make a big difference by stopping and taking stock of our value – what our strengths are, as well as looking at what needs to change. We are always so keen to change what’s not working that we forget about what is of great value in us.

    3. We do need to look underneath, food and any other substances are the end point really a reaction to how we’ve been feeling, or a relief and a way to avoid how we are feeling. It’s only when we’re prepared to truly look and understand why we do what we do that we can stop our destructive behaviours with whatever our abuse substance of choice is.

  93. Great blog Ariana, clearly showing how we’ve been mis-lead and allowed ourselves to be mis-led. And it doesn’t need to be this way, we can choose differently at any time, that’s the beauty of what you share, your loving consistent choices to change and to find support for that.

    1. We have allowed ourselves to be misled, and asking why, it seems like we all know but don’t want that awareness as it means we need to start looking at some level of self responsibility about how we live our life, and that is not welcome so much. We like our way of life to go unchallenged as it won’t show all the areas where we disregard what our body needs and is often loudly telling us so. Instead we and billion like us buy over the counter remedies for hurting ourselves, and rush to the GP demanding he fix us up after we abuse ourselves. We have been misled in thinking that we can abuse our bodies and get away with it. It is not true and there are always consequences.

    2. This is so true monicag2 – “we can choose differently at any time”… not only is that the beauty of what is shared here, it is our responsibility when it comes to being honest and feeling truth…

  94. A great presentation of how our emotions can affect our bodies on a physical level and how you feel in the day – “I ate to bury all the things I didn’t want to look at, all the hurts I had felt and buried which I turned into anger against everyone.” Great blog

    1. Thanks Jess, eating to bury what we don’t want to feel is all too common and I see it everyday at work and when i’m out and about. There has to come a point when we realise that there is not enough chocolate, cake or chips in the world to take away what we don’t want to feel. Realising this is when we start to take responsibility to feel what is there to feel. That is when our lives begin to change, for when we are pushing down and burying the hurts, then we are also burying the great stuff too, if you cut of the one we will cut off the other by default.
      What I have learned is that feeling is well worth it, it has changed my world, I can highly recommend it.

      1. There are some true gems here Ariana: “there is not enough chocolate, cake or chips in the world to take away what we don’t want to feel”, and “when we are pushing down and burying the hurts, then we are also burying the great stuff too, if you cut off the one we will cut off the other”. I love it 🙂

  95. Ariana, I love this article.

    “I got to the point where I could see really clearly that the anger I felt and dumped on everyone was the anger I had against ME as I had not made the choices I could have to stop the hurt from happening in the first place.”

    “I certainly fell for everything I was told by health experts and pharmaceutical companies because it was easier than having to notice what impact my food and drinking habits had”.

    These snippets really agree with me – I can feel the clarity of insight and responsibility claimed in the first comment, and the by contrast, laziness of letting the world around you tell you how to be of the second – and can relate to both!

    I too have used the bludgeoning of food to pretend that I wasn’t hurting, that I don’t care about x, it doesn’t matter… and in recent times I can recall turning to ice cream or some freshly baked cake because I couldn’t imagine the alternative of really letting myself feel the hurt. Food surely does put a dampener on the body… Imagine trying to have a perfectly healthy car by putting dirt in the petrol tank…. It wouldn’t be very long before it broke down.

    Once I connected to the fact that I could feel diabetes was not far away, that my dress choice (size AND style) had to change because of weight gain, that I couldn’t fit into seats at the movies, and that really all sorts of chronic health changes result from obesity, the knowledge of my body responding to choices of diet was rich feedback to encourage me TO face the ‘hurts’. It wasn’t easy sometimes and although I did it alone, it was well within the context of the loving support offered by Serge et al from UniMed.

    Reward, so often talked about in the context of food, is what I would now describe as being a return to vitality, a love of life, a joy being with others, the fun in the everyday, the purpose and passion of living life as cleanly and clearly as possible. Oh chocolate – you never brought me that! I brought me that!

    1. WOW Stephanie Pommerel! You have written a blog about my blog. Self responsibility is huge for us all to learn, you are absolutely right there, and it is how we live, that supports us with that.

      1. Yes… that word rings so true. Self responsibility and a lack of it often reflects in how we live and the vitality we show to another.

    2. Thank you Stephanie, I clearly get what you are clearly saying that we can “live life as clearly as possible”! This makes perfect sense to me because those foods and the reactions to them, which Arianna brings up for discussion I too have felt the same situations arise after eating the same foods. Finding out what foods did what to my body happened over a long period of time, as I slowly worked out which foods affect me and how. As I slowly took self responsibility for how I felt the puzzle of what foods were doing what became clearer and clearer this “clearly” became simpler as I eliminated foods after feeling their affects. Learning to feel again became a simple choice, after all I was over weight had bloating and lethargy so something had to be causing these problems. So through feeling what foods did what to my body through the process of elimination I came to the exact same conclusions as Arianna, long before I was introduced to Serge Benhayon. Very simply, the more I eliminated certain foods especially gluten, and some time later dairy, the more I would feel the effects of these foods. The more I eliminated foods that were hindering me from feeling what was truly happening in my body the more I could feel! The missing piece of the conundrum, which I was still having about foods, was “clearly” explained in the presentations by Serge Benhayon. How and why we get hang-overs, why we bloat, why we fall asleep in the middle of the day, and many other food related questions with the cause and affect. And never did the question arise of do not eat this or that, Serge Benhayon simply shared how and why certain foods react in our body and then it became a choice to find out for ourselves if what was presented was true also for us individually.

    3. Yes Stephanie a great call out to the word “chocolate” or any other flavours of numbing we can pull out of our bag of tricks. No amount of food can change the enormous purpose and fullness you can fill in the body that is about living the simple quality you know is true.

  96. “May sobriety, healthy food and good sleep keep you in good health”.

    I ran a health food shop and a cafe for years in the heart of London. During that time I have encountered customers in their thousands, every skin colour, every religion and every age group. 99.99% of those who shop in health food shops go there because they are trying to improve their health. I have heard so many stories that if I wrote a book about it, it would beat ‘war and peace’ size any time! From my experience and encounter with people in that environment they were all ‘battling’ with something. They love sweet things but it makes them feel terrible. Can’t give up my yoghurt, but can’t digest it either. Bread makes them bloated, but nothing they love better than warm home made bread. Ice-cream is lethal for their eczema but again desire too strong. Alcohol makes them sick but feel pressure when out with friends. And on and on and on… They always wanted to know what I ate / or didn’t to look and feel so good.

    So whilst so many people are desperately trying / wanting to give up above mentioned foods / drinks, we have a medical journal that is upset that there is a group of people that is not battling with those issues and not only that, but that they are wiling, eager to share (only that!) the simplicity of looking after ourselves through food and life-style choices.

    Spot the irony.

    1. We don’t want to hear the truth even when our bodies are giving us visible indicators, it takes a lot of honesty to stop and take heed!

      1. Absolutely true Merrileepettinato, it is difficult to hear truth when you are so invested in eating and living a certain way, sadly more often than not that leads to the body having to scream loudly and as you share a good dose of self-honesty for us to stop and take heed. It seems a self-abusive relationship with our body is one of the most accepted norms of todays society.

    2. As people we all do have our many stories, but it so often seems that our mouths are like fish caught on a hook, the want to fill it is tugging at us all the time, the feelings we get when food hits our mouth sends messages to the brain and our body responds, we get addicted to food instead of using it to nurture ourselves. The readily addict friendly food is that laced with sugar and salt, when it’s a combo of the two it hits the jackpot, but once eaten we want more and more, the hook is pulling us constantly. The simplicity of coming back to the truth of who we are is lost when the drive is all consuming. The simplicity remains however, it just has to be chosen.

      1. Ariana, what an absolutely true and awful picture, our mouths like fish caught on hooks. And yes once we take the bait we’re gone. I love what you share that no matter what ‘The simplicity remains however, it just has to be chosen.’ – and it’s always there, ready and waiting. It’s just up to us to unhook those lines.

    3. It must have been an interesting place to be and to observe what is going on with people that want to believe that they are making the right choices because they feed the body with food someone else defines as healthy and good for them while their own bodies say otherwise. How much do we give our power away!

    4. ‘The simplicity of looking after ourselves through food and life-style choices.’ Yes it is simple to make lifestyle choices that support our body and not destroy it, we just have to see through the illusion of what we are sold in the world as being so called ‘good’ for us. The choices then become simple and very self-loving.

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