As a four year old girl I decided I wanted to play hockey. I wanted to be like my older brother – my Dad was proud of what he could do on a sporting field so I wanted him to be proud of me in the same way. I was given my first hockey stick and taught the basics then I joined a junior minkey team.
I was pretty good at the sport so I was put onto a hockey field at the age of 5. I realised that the tougher I became, the harder I could hit the ball, and the more willing I was to go in for a tackle without showing I was scared. My ability to get back up again after being taken out in a tackle without showing I was hurt was congratulated and earned me a lot of praise. I became quite good at any sport I tried.
At the age of 13, I had made it into the under 18 rowing team. A few years later, after trying discus for a few months, I was selected for the Pan Pacific Games for athletics and had also made it into the state schoolgirls hockey team. I was known as the powerhouse on the hockey field and no opposing team wanted to get in the way of any ball I hit. I remember one day another girl did get hit by a ball that I’d hit and had to be carried off the field. I was devastated that I had done that to someone, even though it wasn’t intentional, and couldn’t sleep for three days. After that I knew I didn’t want to bring that level of force onto a sporting field.
As a teenager I was confused, I ridiculed the ‘girly girls’ for being pathetic but there was also part of me wishing that I could sometimes show I was hurt or cry but I never did. I didn’t know how to be around boys because I didn’t think I was pretty enough so I just became one of them and threw myself into sport more and earned recognition this way but it was never enough.
In my mid 20s I was very overweight despite playing lots of sport and I also had the muscle definition of a man in some parts of my body. I was ashamed by this but also used this as an excuse to retreat from people and relationships. I didn’t like how I felt about myself and if any guy showed an interest I would instantly reject him thinking he was either ridiculing me or there was something really wrong with him if he was willing to accept me.
When I first heard Serge Benhayon present, “you need to be more fragile with yourself,” I was outraged. It was like a red rag to a bull, I wanted to take him down, like I would someone on a hockey field. It brought up such a fury in me and I thought he was asking me to be pathetic and I wanted to show him I was tough and could cope. I was surprised by how intense my reaction was.
It was not long after this that I had my first Esoteric Breast Massage. I dragged myself through the door as I was extremely embarrassed and did not want to go, but there was a part of me that just knew it was right. In this session I was treated with a tenderness that I had never before received in my life. After this I reacted and got angry, I did not want to feel all that was coming up, the way I had been with my body for many, many years. However, I could not argue with the physical changes in my body, I had always had very irregular or light and short periods, however after the Esoteric Breast Massage. It was like my body was releasing and I started to have more regular periods.
Despite how uncomfortable I was with what was coming up, I continued to have Esoteric Breast Massages. It took a while but I eventually stopped reacting in anger to them and started to accept that underneath that, my whole life I had been wanting to be fragile and tender with myself but I had never allowed that.
Over the period of a year and a half I lost 30 kilos, which I had never been able to do before even when I was playing sport and trying lots of different diets. My body shape changed also and so did the way I interacted with people, I was no longer as guarded. I am still in a process of re-learning how to nurture and treat my body with tenderness and care. While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.
by Anon
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Anon, I understand much of what you have shared and how as women we shy away from being tender and fragile. Like you, I used to think that that was a weakness, when it is completely the opposite.
Being tender and fragile evolves as you evolve and then more is offered. Otherwise our Soul offers this to you somewhere along the way and sometimes it isn’t how we envisaged it to be.
From a young age we are tender, whether we are a boy or whether a girl, it matters not. Tender and fragile is something we all need to embrace and in the heart of this, is the love and Soul that resides within all.
Anon, I love how you have shared that as you allowed yourself to connect with you, and love yourself, your body and natural beautiful shape returned to you without much effort (of dieting or exercising to lose weight)…This is a great testament to being at ease with your body and how it then reflects it back to you in the form of a natural weight loss.
I agree as we are comfortable with our own skin and can truely gaze into our own eyes, there is beauty beyond that beyond…
I too have experienced a similar thing growing up where I felt that sports was the way to connect and get attention from my dad and so I would push myself and my body hard, so that I would get noticed. It’s interesting to realise that I did not allow myself the space to know that for someone to truly love me, there was nothing I needed to do, other than just be myself.
Wow Anon, this is a super powerful sharing and one that really speaks for many of us as women who have pretzeled ourselves in life, contorting our natural way of being so that we try to turn into something we are not to get ‘love’ or acceptance from another, and in the process deny our fragilty and innate beauty.
This is a great topic for a conversation on how we are conditioned and this has a tendency to start when we are young and are not recognised for just being who we are a natural spark of light and joy.
“there was also part of me wishing that I could sometimes show I was hurt or cry but I never did.” I can really relate to this line, it’s so important to be open and show others exactly where we are at, it can help them to grow also, particularly if the hurts have occurred in a relationship.
This is a very beautiful blog to be read. It deeply touches me to see how even the hardest guard we may had created, this can be released from our body, allowing us to come back to our exquisite and delicate fragility again… This just feels expanding and really nurturing.
Fragility is really seen as the enemy, something to be avoided. Growing up the tough, macho, non-feeling male stereotype was promoted as the ideal, and women were seen less because of their delicateness and fragility. Having less muscle strength as a woman compared to men was somehow seen as less worthy also – how utterly ridiculous it all is. I’m still making my way back to fragility and I often notice how rejecting other women can be if I’m open about being physically unwell – it’s bizarre but that’s what happens. We seem to want to relate to others as images and ideals of how to be and avoid realness at all costs.
Why do we need scientific evidence when what we are doing is obviously working? What kind of insecurity is being masked with the back up of double blinded, random sample? What do we need to prove, and who do we need to prove it to? If it works in your life, if it benefits your body, your state of being, and the state of those around you, than who needs a quantitative experiment of 1 million others? The results cannot be the same for everyone anyway, and what works for one may not work for another so to put an umbrella on anything is just false, it proves nothing and does not give a platform for real growth.
Science should be working side by side with humanity and learning together, not taking an authoritative position that implies superiority, or expects to have control over others.
The changes in how you are speak volumes, that is proof enough, ‘I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.’
I can’t imagine going back into martial arts like I used to do. These days it feels far more supportive to be sensitive and tender with myself rather than harden up.
Spot on Leigh, in retrospect, some of the choices I made as sports (I also did martial arts) feel like abuse to me now especially to consider if I were to go back to them, especially given the way I was with it all at the time.
I agree Ariana. That’s what makes it really inspiring.
Love the honesty in this sharing and the humbleness of opening up to this process of letting go the hardness to connect deeper with yourself.
We can run away from tenderness, we can deny or fight it one and million times but this quality will remain pure inside us, whether we like it or not. No matter our age or gender is part of our true nature as human beings.
I adore what you are saying Inma that there is a quality within that remains pure no matter how we are encouraged to trash our bodies nothing can taint the purity of God.
Losing 30 kg in a year and a half is pretty impressive in itself, but here what is being shared is that it started with allowing tenderness within – I agree, some people may want to question or argue, but this is your very own personal scientific study, a very solid proof of what is possible, and from the honesty you speak with, I feel how powerful this whole process is.
Then you add in the testimonials from 1000+ other people that have had similar changes to their lives and it makes you wonder why science isn’t chomping at the bit to research this.
There is so much here to appreciate. Someone making such a transformational change is huge and the fact that you have been so honesty and transparent about it is rarer still. This is true medicine in action.
It is medicine in action and the beauty of it is when we empower ourselves not only does it heal us but it offers a healing to others too.
It is beautiful to realise that all that we want is to be treated with tenderness and deep care and that we can give ourselves permission to do so and a whole new world unfolds from there.
When we really start to nurture ourselves and become more ‘fragile’ with ourselves our body shape can change and our weight also. I have known people who are underweight put weight on when beginning to come back to their own body wisdom, as in trusting themselves, and treating themselves more delicately.
When we follow the impulse of hurts, we enter a pattern of realizations that only help to crystallize the hurt, while giving us the illusion that we are leaving it behind.
Compelling insights into what can go on for children behind the closed doors of ‘sport’ – an activity that is heralded by many but could actually be having a devastating effect on many despite what it appears like.
Fragility can be found just by allowing ourselves to be, from the very essence we already are, which is untouched and untouchable by nature.
“Over the period of a year and a half I lost 30 kilos, which I had never been able to do before even when I was playing sport and trying lots of different diets.” – incredible what can happen when there is re-connection to oneself and the love that one is. The Esoteric Breast Massage is a beautiful healing and restorative modality that takes us as women back to our truer selves shedding and discarding much in the process.
Losing weight is much more than just what we put in our mouth and how much or little we move – these are just the mechanics but more importantly, there is an energetic factor; this mean that when we start to let go in an area of our life, the body can easily shed the weight that had been piled onto it.
I love how our body just knows what it needs and your example of dragging yourself to your first Esoteric Breast Massage is a great example. Your body just knew that there was healing to be had.
Learning to be more gentle with oneself, not only melts the hardness and the protection away but allows the love and care to come in.
Reconnecting with the quality of nurturing ourselves is paramount in our development as living as the woman we are.
Your very honest sharing shows so clearly that when we are not living in a way that is true for our body, pushing it, hardening, and so on, our body speaks very loudly of its discomfort, and if we continue to not listen its voice only gets louder. In beautiful contrast, when we bring more love and caring to our body and honour it for the amazing vessel it is, it speaks in such a loving way as it begins to return to its true and unique quality and shape.
Weight on the body is not just about food. The way we see ourselves, the honouring or lack of it for who we are within is without question a contributing factor.
True, weight is an energetic factor before it shows up on the body as extra padding. And that is why diets don’t work or only for a limited amount of time.
I loved reading your your blog Anon, because it reminded me so much of my own youth, I played a lot of sport to a high level and it was not until my 40’s when I came across Serge Benhayon that the penny dropped and I realised how much protection I had put up, I now know through my own experience that to surrender to the tenderness that we can change our life completely.
This shows clearly that we shape our own body and life, it is only a question of whether we go with what we think we need to be or do we allow ourselves to come from the natural tenderness that we all hold in our bodies.
There was a sadness reading about how you felt about your body and towards yourself as I realised how many young women (and men) are living in these self-imposed-prisons about our bodies and how much shame/embarrassment we can carry (I know I did for years!). Then reading about how you are stepping out of that prison, and developing a loving and tender relationship with you and your body was quite delightful and very heart warming.
We are the result of the thoughts we allow in. Say no to abusive thoughts by saying yes to tender loving thoughts and our whole world changes.
Thank you Anon. What stands out for me here is how our body responds to our drive to cover up and deny our immense fragility and how quickly it relinquishes the armour when we are enabled to re-connect our delicate beauty through all the Universal Medicine Healing Modalities and in particular the EBM sessions. These modalities work on us on many levels, psychologically, physically, energetically, true multi-dimensionality that delivers incredible changes in so many aspects of our lives all at once.
Wow Anon you showed the world that a change is possible. To return to your tenderness and your fragility is something more women should allow themselves to do as this are our natural way of being.
What really stood out to me when reading this blog was the focus we place of changing the outside instead of the quality of being on the inside. What good is it eating well if we still feel rotten within?
Crazy how many of us associate fragility with weakness, yet like you have shown there is a real true strength in allowing ourselves to feel what is there to be felt and not to override it. There is a grace and beauty like no other when a women chooses to allow her delicateness to shine though.
We see what we want to see. We see, wow this person is great in sport. He/She stands out. What we do not want to see is what is behind, wat is the drive and what is the bodily quality that makes that to happen. We disregard this as important in the name of the results. When we confirm the person because of his/her capacity to deliver, the person gets identified with his/her ability and what drove him/her is further cemented into his/her body.
When we confirm another by what we see we are usually assessing someone on images and beliefs, when we feel and sense we get the truth and we know what’s going on behind the image presented.
Isn’t it interesting how we in fact know exactly what to do to keep us from being fragile, tender, still and sacred? Even by our reactions we give away how to the detail we know who we truly are and where we truly come from and in the end our divine universality cannot be denied.
Why wait for ‘science’ to catch up before we implement changes to our life? We do know when we do something that is true for us and our bodies for they respond in kind as they do when we don’t. We are living and breathing science and we can be masters of our own living science that is called out bodies. We can get to know it very well and learn to live all of our life through its intelligence. Our body will never lie or let us down, it will simply communicate the truth.
I am too finding it a “process of re-learning how to nurture and treat my body with tenderness and care” and I get a bit undone with sitting with feeling uncomfortable. A loving work in progress.
It’s a crazy business when we harden ourselves to protect ourselves from being hurt. As you describe so beautifully, we can lose connection with our own tenderness as well as not allowing love in or out and to and from others.
‘Over the period of a year and a half I lost 30 kilos, which I had never been able to do before even when I was playing sport and trying lots of different diets. My body shape changed also and so did the way I interacted with people, I was no longer as guarded.’ Awesome Anon. It is the way we are, the way we live, that counts.
This really is a testament to the power of re-connecting and allowing out our innate tenderness and sensitivity, something we may ridicule in others when we deny it in ourself but that deep down I’d say we all want to come back to.
Self-loving choices establishes a self-loving reality.
The best diet in the world is the diet based on self-loving choices.
How beautifully put. I could feel today after having an EBM how food can sort of support us staying still or can take us away from that. And how loving to not eat anymore what takes me further away from myself.
As we slowly let go of the protective guards we set up around us that basically say keep out we begin to actually let others in and our interactions with them become far more meaningful and purposeful.
It is incredible the lengths we will go to, to avoid feeling our sensitivity. But no matter what we do and how hard we make ourselves, it is always still there waiting for us to return to.
‘ I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.’ Witnessing and honouring the truth of our body – it’s simple really…
There is so much more behind body shape and food. As you describe our whole attitude to life and how we are with ourselves in all plays a role in how our body shapes itself. We are creating our own body shape to face life.
Our body is our science and what it can teach us is not only invaluable but will one day, when sponsored science has run its course and been defrocked, so to speak, be accepted as the truth it is and has always been.
Being tender as a woman is a hugely underrated quality. It offers more power than being tough ever will.
This is an incredible story and a common one for kids trying to impress their parent(s). What I was inspired by was your dedication to keep going to have Esoteric Breast Massage despite it not being pleasant. This story also confirms to me that anger is not really about being angry. It is actually a protection we use so we don’t have to show our tenderness or fragility.
Since studying with universal medicine, I now understand the truth of emotions. There is so much judgement and shame around anger as it is seen as a ‘bad’ emotion and one that drives people away so there is little true understanding of anger. certainly I had never come across so much love in the understanding that anger is a way to protect sadness. With so much anger in the world, we can never express too much that there is a fragile and tender person behind all anger.
Yes especially when faced with anger in another person or persons and being aware of the atrocities that are happening every day in the world knowing that sadness is underneath anger allows us more compassion and love in holding this person without condoning for a moment how they are expressing.
It’s very interesting how from a very young age so many girls seem to somehow work out they’d be better off being a boy.
This story is a great example of how we mould ourselves away from our true self as we grow up. In the search for attention and praise (as a substitute for love) we are willing to sacrifice our true self. But luckily our body and being show the effects after a while and gently bring us back if we take heed.
What a truly beautiful healing and blessing to read – how we can treat our body in another way that is actually loving and understanding. That holds no crutches or self-critique but a freedom to love.
This blog gives an in-depth understanding into why girls would put their bodies through such hardness through competitive sport – that being that lack of self-worth creates the gap that needs to be filled by something that will give one recognition for what they do… and the more extreme the better! Valuing ourselves, for who we are is a great start to then choose activities and movements that honour that instead of deny it.
Thank you Anon. It’s clear that most people are making choices based on gaining recognition. Collectively it is acceptable to settle for this rather than choose love. Recognition will never leave us feeling full and so love is the only real choice we have.
This is beautiful. When I rejected being a woman, rejected love, wanted to do everything on my own believing I needn’t need any help, my periods stopped for two years. When I chose to be open to myself, to others and to me being a woman in the true sense, I am experiencing my periods again and my whole body shape changed from teenager back to having curves.
Allowing tenderness – is accepting ourselves in full, surrendering to that.. This brings automatically the freedom and sets the tenderness free.. to come out of our body.
It’s bizarre when you think about it: why on earth would we encourage very young girls to take up such a pursuit? I know you chose it Anon and you’ve explained beautifully why, but this aside, how is it we collectively think the roughness of sport is OK for anyone – young girl, young boy, teens, adult women and men? We’re all tender beings.
There is no proven scientific test needed to appreciate what you have shared here, Anon. All the proof needed is your body and your beingness – and you have given us the facts re the former, and we can feel the latter in what you have shared.
I wasn’t a big fan of contact sport growing up. I played it and was great at it but I couldn’t keep it up and most of the time I didn’t really look forward to playing it. Funnily enough I am now fitter, stronger and more flexible then ever before in my life and yet I don’t play any sport, I don’t even run. Some may dismiss this as I would have done previously and so I understand but for me sport didn’t support me. I didn’t like what I had to do I did it but before, during and after I never felt great I’d feel relieved it was over but never great. I remember clearly preparing for sport on the weekend and how anxious I got or before I went for a run the dread I felt but I would just put my head down and do it anyway. So what has changed? It’s as the article offers I just allowed more of the truth of how I am out and from there made choices on what to do next. This may sound simple, confusing or too hard and it’s possible it’s all of those but for me I knew something wasn’t right and deep down it had nothing to do with anyone else but more just the fact I was doing something my body wasn’t up for. I bought small changes into more parts of my life that followed the same line and before to long my body changed significantly and as I said I’m now fitter and more healthy then anytime previous in my life. It goes against everything sport says it is, for me it was unhealthy as I was mostly in pain, exhausted, injured and the list goes on.
My relationship with other woman has deeply changed since I had my first EBM, I am much more open and sweet with other women. I used to get rather disdainful of ‘girly girls’ I thought they were not strong and fussed, this was no doubt a judgement, because I was not starting from the appreciation of what they are sharing with me, but looking at what was not working. Often they were delicate, gentle with themselves, did not push their body further than they needed to, would go to bed etc…lots to learn hey…now I am open to these reflections with out the disdain, ti is lovely to appreciate what is offered for us to learn in the reflection from others.
Protecting ourselves from others is simply us saying, I won’t accept more love here.
It never fails to amaze me how we think that protecting ourselves saves us from being hurt when in fact it is entrapping us in our hurt, in a self made prison, where we are stuck all the while missing out on life and having life miss out on us.
I am finding that letting go for protection is not an instant occurrence, it does take time as there are so many ways in which we protect ourselves from showing that we are sensitive, fragile, that we can be vulnerable and sense that this world we live in is not true. Universal Medicine is more than amazing in that it’s teaching by lived example that we need not protect ourselves from being aware of the lies and lovelessness.
Being tender is something in our society that has been almost banned.. Yet it is something we are naturallly capable of – every single person has it in them.. But we live in a society where it is almost rare to see a person, except a child, living tenderly. So what happend? How have we been shaped ? And how come we lost that naturally tender movement in our daily living? An interesting point..
What have we allowed in that has now replaced our tenderness? Super important question.
Lets ponder on this further..
It’s beautiful how the body responds to joy, tenderness and sensitivity rather than strictness or discipline with dieting. It shows how loving and wise the body is, to know and respond to how we feel about ourselves, how we move and interact with others – it is all recorded in the body.
It’s interesting how you say
“While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.”
Our bodies can communicate so much to us if we are prepared to listen, and we are walking science laboratories we really don’t need a scientist to explain to us what is occurring within our bodies. But they do come in handy when we need support if our bodies become unwell and that then can become a great partnership between the knowing of one’s body and Western medicine to help it recover.
We toughen up in order to live in a hard and often cruel world forgetting who we truly are and the constant support that is there if only we would pay more attention.
To begin to uncover the true tenderness and fragility we hold in our bodies is a gift and one that develops and deepens over time. Taking the time to stop and appreciate our tenderness especially in our simple daily tasks is a healing unto itself and can show us so much in terms of how we are feeling and connecting to our bodies day to day.
The process of developing nurturing is an ongoing one that evolves and deepens as we evolve and deepen our connection with ourselves.
We get praised by showing we are not affected by pain, cruel words or setbacks. No wonder it is such an ingrained trait that many of us have to give the impression to not care. I catch myself doing this often, but will stew about the incident later. The hurts we pretend not to feel don’t go away.
Allowing ourselves to feel our tenderness and vulnerability we realise that we are all equally tender and vulnerable under our imagined armour of protection.
A beautiful unfoldment, letting go of hardness and protection and allowing yourself to embrace fragility and tenderness.
Hardening our bodies is the perfect way to keep us away from feeling our own divinity, and that goes for us men as well.
When we choose to feel the tenderness and delicateness within our body we start to treat ourselves with true care.
Our anger and rage is a ‘bodyguard’ to the sadness we carry deep within when we do not live true to the love that we are.
“While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.” I completely agree, our bodies are the living proof of change, science will take time to catch up. My body has changed so much and healed so much in the last 5yrs its unbelievable. I feel like a new tender open person, from a hard shut down person.
Your account of getting tougher and tougher in the way you wielded a hockey stick reminds me of the Japanese work colleagues I used to go tenpin bowling with; their wives would join us and I could never understand how they could place the balls down so delicately and still achieve high scores while I would be ramming mine onto the lane with as much force as I could muster. It is interesting how we have come to associate the words ‘fragile’ and ‘delicate’ with ‘pathetic’ rather than appreciating the strength and power that come with delicateness and fragility.
Fragility is a blessing to be honoured.
I used to think being fragile meant being mild and weak, but learning to embrace this quality in my own life I can feel the strength and power this brings to a woman when it is lived.
The Esoteric Breast Massage modality offers the space for a woman to dissolve all the pictures of “who she is” and instead connect to the fact that all women are tender by nature. What greater gift could there be for any woman.
We tend to associate fragility and tenderness with weakness and fight that tooth and nail, not wanting to get hurt again. But the hard protective walls hurt us more than anything others can do to us and we feel it all, anyway – no matter how thick the walls are.
I look at my own face and how the shape of it has changed and become less hard over the last few years, and I also see in other people a great many similar changes. Holding this hardness in my own body was something that left me in a state of tension, although I wouldn’t have been aware of it before I started attending Universal Medicine courses. I also notice more and more these days many girls and women who seem to have taken on masculine traits, be that in musculature or in their facial features, and while it is for us to accept everyone as they are I also wonder if some of it derives from a pressure they feel to prove themselves in a male dominated environment. Lovely to feel your unfoldment anon, thanks for the sharing.
Stephen, I too am noticing many women who look very masculine in their features. I am seeing this more and more, and when I do see this, I often wonder whether it is something everyone is seeing, or if it is something we can see only when we start to let go of the hardness, drive and pushing of ourselves.
This is gorgeous. The image that came to me when to share about how there was part of you that wanted to be able to express your fragility and sensitivity was of a child looking through the window at a party they are not invited to. What’s s ironic though is that the party is open invitation so anyone can join in – we just have to choose to.
Beautiful Anon, your sharing came in deeply, in a beautiful way. Sharing with us, using your lived example to show what was underneath and how you have healed that, is simply incredible. And so, these sentences really captured it:
‘Despite how uncomfortable I was with what was coming up, I continued to have EBMs. It took a while but I eventually stopped reacting in anger to them and started to accept that underneath that, my whole life I had been wanting to be fragile and tender with myself but I had never allowed that.’
Treating ourselves with tenderness and care and nurturing ourselves is very natural and our body loves it, but we have come up with any number of ways not to treat ourselves in this way. The Esoteric Healing Modalities and Esoteric Breast Massage for women are incredible as they assist us in letting go of old patterns, hurts and reasons that we have used that get in the way of us being tender and nurturing of ourselves. They help us connect to the fact that we are more than just a physical body.
Amazing Anon! The changes in my body have been quite remarkable very quickly too. I have been a student of Universal Medicine for 11 years and the feeling in my body keeps on keeping on to a quality that places in me a feeling of awe for myself and a wonder if all my energy centers were free to allow this flow of freedom …
“It took a while but I eventually stopped reacting in anger to them and started to accept that underneath that, my whole life I had been wanting to be fragile and tender with myself but I had never allowed that.” This moved me to tears this morning, thank you for having the courage to connect with what you really wanted and start to bring into your life and for sharing this with us all.
It can be a big wake up call when we realise that we have hurt someone with our unnecessary excessive force – be that on the hockey field or in the field of our home, work life, anywhere.
It’s amazing how the body responds to being treated with utmost tenderness and as if it’s the most precious thing in the world, it’s like it transforms and it’s allowed to be what it’s meant to be. Tenderness is definitely not to be under-estimated.
Thank you, Anon. It is interesting how when we are confronted with the truth that we can often react in anger yet we willingly swallow lies. The only way through our reactions is to keep listening to our bodies because it knows what is true and what isn’t.
Beautiful honest story – so important that we know about these, to have shown that we can change our path in the most extreme situations or backgrounds we come from… And that we must re-learn how to develop a self-loving (caring) way to life, walk, talk etc. So we can drop the guards and protection and move from a love instead of pain. Great start!
Wow Anon, you have truly transformed you life, ” My body shape changed also and so did the way I interacted with people, I was no longer as guarded.” along with how you interacted with people and could feel such a change in how you weren’t guarded anymore. That is so wonderful, this is really life changing.
With a life based on attaining recognition from our family, friends, whom ever – we sacrifice the relationship with our body and can end up doing the most abusive things we never thought we would do.
Its miraculous the physical changes that take place when we make choices based on the natural impulses we all have within
It’s fascinating how the mind can fight the truth when heard… and yet it is vastly more difficult to ignore or discount the dramatic physical changes that are experienced when the truth is lived.
A beautiful example of the power of fragility and tenderness with our bodies! And I love how as you changed the relationship that you had with your body so too did the relationships that you had with others in your life change and evolve.
Truly amazing Anon – and to take it back to the start we could also say or ask how do the men cope with the roughness that is normal in most sports when we men are equally if even more tender than women are?
I can relate to a lot of what you have so honestly shared here Anon as I too resisted the delicateness and fragility I felt while having Esoteric Breast Massages. The difference now is that because I held myself in a configuration of hardness and protection for so long it took my body time to allow the surrender. Now it feels so lovely to allow the beauty of the delicateness to really speak and enjoy the return to my natural way of being as woman.
The reconnection that you share here is beautiful, I love how it’s like you’re unfolding – letting out qualities that were always there but that were pushed down before.
I too would push my body to the limits ever since I was young, not on the sporting field but more in regards to my working life and hobbies. It was all to cover up my need for recognition for a job well done and covered up my low self worth that I held onto for a long time. I have found the Esoteric Breast Massage to be a healing modality that allows you to delicately peel back the many layers of protection and hurts that have built up and feel such tenderness and fragility just blows me away every time. It really has made such a difference in how I feel and my connection to my body in particular my breasts it has been gorgeous.
Very powerful Anon, thank you. And personally relatable! I was not a sport-head but I did over-work and other forms of self-abuse very well. And had weight issues. Like you, the EBMs were for me absolutely pivotal in terms of helping return myself to me, the woman I truly am. They have been life-changing. Thank God for this modality!
Beautiful! I can relate to this so much, up until I did my first gentle breath meditation I had never allowed myself to feel gentle. I thought that was for wimpy girls who can’t take care of themselves. I thougth that I am so much tougher than those other weak girls, when in truth those girls were a lot more connected and trutful in their bodies.
To experience the tenderness we are all longing for but did not choose to live and move all our life-time is both: a blessing as a dream comes true and a challenge because all our unloving choices get exposed. So we can choose again, will I harden again and avoid my opportunity for a change or do I take it. To live love – always just a choice away.
This is an extraordinary blog, the fact that you didn’t walk away when you felt all the anger come up is testament to how ready you were to change some of the self abuse that we consider a normal part of life. I remember not thinking there was anything wrong with breaking my nose playing hockey, I was tough and good at hockey! What more was necessary in life?! I didn’t even get it fixed and now, every day I am reminded that I always have a choice and that that choice is as obvious as the lump and bump on my nose! Lovingly being more fragile with myself has been a blessing to my body. I choose every day to honour and deepen that relationship.
The connection to yourself that is described in this blog is something every woman desires.
Thank you Anon for sharing so honestly, I too would look at the girly girls and thought they were so weak, I wanted to be tough and strong and independent, I have now come to know that deep down I really wanted to be my true tender self and the EBM that I am having have been so powerful in exposing the hardness that I carry in my body, the protection I have carried around my heart, this modality is so healing in its gentle way.
I have recently had a series of Esoteric Breast Massage and what I can feel is that my body is changing, this modality has helped me to connect back to the women within and in doing so I have become more womanly. I have noticed my body has dropped hardness it was carrying, this hardness was a form of protection as I was scared of the world seeing the women I actually am.
When Serge Benhayon first talked about fragility I too balked at the idea of being fragile thinking it meant being weak, this has been a common reaction in women world wide, the word has been bastardized like a lot of words. We now need to understand the true meaning of it by living the fragility we innately are.
I agree Mary-Louise and I am very thankful for every Esoteric Breast Massage Practitioner for treating me as very precious – even I do not live this till now. It is touching and inspiring.
Looking back I can see how much I reacted to what I knew to be true – in this case, Serge saying ‘you need to be more fragile with yourself’ was exactly what your body knew it needed – and our minds absolutely resist. I had the same experience – I severely reacted to what Serge presented because I knew in my body the truth. And once I got over it and actually surrendered to it, wow what a life changer.
Thank you Aon for sharing honestly. There is a powerful message here in the intrinsic connection between the body and our deep loving and tenderness towards it. It speaks of when we are naturally re-connected and absolutely with our essence everything is exactly as it was meant to be. The body is a true marker of the love we live towards ourselves and hold within. This is scientific evidence of what Serge Benhayon has brought through in Universal Medicine and a true blessing for us all.
The Esoteric Breast Massage is one of the only modalities in the world I have found that supports a woman connecting deeply to who she is, and her true quality of tenderness. Its a modality I value highly.
Dear Anon it is remarkable how you have changed. It is a great inspiration to allow to let go of the hardness and protection most of us are living in order to feel the tenderness underneath.
An incredible story that belies the understanding that sport and exercise will resolve weight issues. Your story (and those of many others) talks to the truth that weight is connected to emotional issues as much as it is to food.
What an amazing account of the changes to your body after having Esoteric Breast Massage’s. There’s no doubt that your body is the science lab demonstrating the effects of such a powerful modality for a woman’s body. Thank you for sharing.
The honesty of our body is one that cannot be argued with, and as you say that honest is actually science.
Such beautiful honesty on how our bodies can truely transform from our own supportive choices to bring nurturing and love back to the forefront of our lives. True science at its best lives within every particle of us all. Thank you.
I was reflecting on the movement of rowing and how straining the pushing and pulling motion would be on the tenderness points just below the front of our shoulders. From doing Sacred Movement (an Esoteric Women’s Health modality) I’ve come to realise just how delicate this area of a woman’s body is and that it’s through this area that we let people in by opening and expanding our chest and shoulders. It’s amazing that you came out of the heavy sport mentality and are able to now enjoy your body and the woman you are Anon.
Thank you Anon your story is very inspiring. So beautiful that you stopped resisting yourself and came to see the loveliness of the woman you are.
I know very well the anger that can come up when a hard protected person is asked if they could in fact possibly be very tender, gentle, sweet and fragile. These words used to really get my back up, I would hate it when I was call cute or sweet, feeling that somehow they were demeaning and saying I was childish or weak when I wanted to be mature, sexy, strong and able to cope. What I have found is that the protection and hardness have not worked – they have not stopped me feeling hurt by life, but they have stopped me expressing who I naturally am, and in fact that is naturally tender, sweet and loving and there is nothing weak, pathetic or childish in these qualities – there is a strength and grace I an tentatively beginning to explore.
What a great sharing. Women, just like men, are deeply tender and delicate and the more we appreciate this quality and trait we all have the less of a battle and tension we will have for our bodies. At least this has been the case for me.
Coming back to our essence does take time as we’ve spent possibility our whole lives (if not a few more previously) fighting and resisting the love and tenderness that we are. But each time we go back and connect the resistance chips away bit by bit. It’s up to us how long or short the process is. The EBM modality is so beautiful in that it shows us a marker of how we can be and the depth of tenderness we deserve naturally so.
What an amazing transformation to your body weight and approach to tenderness after having Esoteric Breast Massage by, over time, allowing the body to drop into tenderness and fragility. This is quite an incredible account of how EBM’s have a positive impact on women’s health. Thank you for sharing.
I recently attended a professional development training and motivational talk for work. The presenter was an olympic athlete. They shared stories about the hardships they had put themselves through and the amount of bones they had broken (nearly every bone in their body) to achieve a moment where they won a medal.
It is interesting how we view success- years of misery, pain, suffering and hardship and severe injuries that will be life-long all for that 30 seconds of standing on a podium. It doesn’t quite add up. I too used to see this as success- having one moment of great recognition and accomplishment. However, today through Universal Medicine my measure of success is much different- it is more about how much love has been lived and expressed in every moment of every day- this is a meaningful life.
The amazing, nurturing, Esoteric Breast Massage allows us to see how we are treating ourselves in the most beautiful way.
wow Anon, these changes from EBM are huge! Clearly shows how being rough and tough with our body doesn’t work and isn’t what it needs.
Having just had a series of Esoteric Breast Massage I can attest to the absolute fact that this therapy is astounding in the way it invites the women to reconnect to her true self. Like you have so beautifully expressed in your blog it is a choice to surrender and re-connect to that beautiful tender in women within. Thank you.
Something I’m noticing is how damaging it is when we change ourselves at the whim of who we are with… like playing a sport or wearing certain clothes we don’t feel to all to be liked or loved by another. What are we showing the other person? As we can all feel when someone is acting less or more than us. We are saying you are not equal to me and that no-one is equal to anyone else. How removed from the truth is that!
It is glaringly obvious now in the news and on TV that the accolades of reaching any pinnacle of sport or fame does not bring contentment and appreciation of yourself to anyone. It actually does the opposite and there is always a striving for someone or something outside of ourselves to validate us again… and when all the validation drops away, we are left with feeling the hurt of handing our love, nurturing and appreciation over to another to provide. Beautiful to read of your amazing transformation Anon, and for deciding to follow what you could feel was true for you and your body.
What a testament to the potential reasons behind weight gain you have offered here Anon. We have trajectories for obesity that are a major concern of all health services and it has professionals wondering how to support and address the lack impetus for change. I can see very clearly how the connection you have made between not allowing yourself to feel your fragility, to play roles and harden, all contributed to the layers of protection that surrounded you.
I am so pleased to have found this gem of a blog. I remember when I was younger and played hockey for school, someone ran into me, they broke their collar bone, I must have been like a brick wall. But it hadn’t occurred to me that it was my fault, I was that hardened to what I was doing. Soon after I got concussion and a broken nose from a stick in my face; I was in France and had no family with me so didn’t make a fuss or go to hospital because I didn’t want anyone to think I couldn’t cope. I have a crooked nose and a lump of scar tissue on the point of impact as a reminder today of how hard I got. I hadn’t seen the connection of those events till now, so thank you so much. Now I have the opportunity see it as a gift and embrace the reminder to see fragility as a quality to value and cherish and bring that quality to me and everything I do so I offer that reflection to others.
This blog to me speaks about the science of letting people in, which includes letting people see your fragility. This is a brave step that can always be appreciated.
Like you, Anon, to start with, I found the Esoteric Breast Massage a challenging experience. This was because it showed me how I felt toward myself, which wasn’t loving and I eventually got to feel that I was not gentle with myself. I am Australian by birth and it is a normal here to push our bodies physically. Truly this is because most of us have a very narrow understanding of what self-care looks like. We think that if we tick some boxes that’s it. But really it’s the whole picture, including stopping expressing from anger, that heals us.
Walking daily is a profound way to support the body. Done tenderly it also becomes a healing for the body. Add some light weights, handled with care and you have a recipe for a body that’s not only not run by anger, but that feels warm and tender and very healthy. There is much indeed to appreciate about the natural, wise women we are. I appreciate that the Esoteric Breast Massage truly supports women to reconnect with and honour our innate wisdom.
Thank you for sharing Anon – as you have shared here, it is as if you spent so much of your childhood resisting the quality of the natural woman and tenderness so you could ‘fit in’ – when really your sensitivity is a quality that is so much bigger than just fitting in. It seems quiet common, to take our true strengths and disguise them with something completely opposite so we almost convince ourselves we are our behaviors rather than our essence. But to come back to appreciating who we are first is huge, and very powerful, and can be used to support others.
‘there was something really wrong with him if he was willing to accept me.’ Ah, that old chestnut – which must be mightily confusing for any would-be suitor, who is only reflecting back to us how amazing we are. Yet we refuse to see it in ourselves and so we devalue them and their reflection in parallel.
Ha ha well put. Dating is so confusing when there are so many unspoken conversations and issues bubbling below the surface.
“While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.” I echo this. I don’t need a PhD to know that I feel, physically and mentally so much healthier since being inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to make different choices in the way I live.
“…I wanted to show him I was tough and could cope.” I have been like this in my life, where does this come from? It’s the opposite of what is needed for healing and like you shared Anon it wasn’t until you allowed your vulnerability that you could start feeling your true tenderness. The Esoteric Breast Modality modality is heaven sent for women.
I love your comment that you use your body as a science. Our body is our very own laboratory and we experiment with it all the time. The trick is to notice and respond to what is revealed by making adjustments and choices that support the body rather than work against it. Just because something hasn’t been proven, it doesn’t mean to say it doesn’t work – or indeed that it isn’t scientific. Lived experience, the tremendous outcomes you have had and from there the knowing that you know hold, is evidence – lived and breathing.
It is amazing how once we align to truth and harmony our bodies adjust and come into harmony. If we are overweight the excess weight just naturally drops away as a side effect – that’s what happened to me and to so may others.
I am in absolute agreement and I do it from a place of ‘knowing’ “While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.” I know because my body and health has also seen these amazing changes and shifts, and through no ‘trying’ .I am enough evidence, the Universal Medicine healing modulates are transformative.
Thank you so much Anon, this was beautiful and confirming to read. What you have shared here about the changes in your body through healing issues that had been there since a child are very interesting and noteworthy. As you say this is not a ‘randomised control trial’ but your observations and experiences in your body are important Science and definitely worth sharing.
This blog is science in all of its truth and power. Our bodies simply are what they are in response to the way we live them. There is nothing more complicated or more pure to science than that.
Your reaction to Serge’s suggestion about being more fragile is so interesting – a science in itself. It was as though he placed a finger on a raw spot, but a spot that was actually calling out to be exposed to the light. What grace is this! As rough as it feels when the protective hurt is triggered there is nothing more beautiful than our true nature being revealed to us, glorious, delicate, and so fragile and womanly. The science is then for us to live that and let it emerge.
That is the key to transformation of the body.
To live the essence we are.
I found it very interesting too Rachel about the angry reaction to living with more fragility. For me it feels like, when we have chosen a way of living for so long – for example in hardness and pushing – it’s like we don’t want anyone to reflect to us another way (like delicateness, pure love and fragility) because it makes us realise we have been choosing something that harms us for so long. What we need to know though is that we choose these things often because we are not reflected another way. It is up to us then, when given the option of another way whether we take it or not, and to work on the ‘thing’ that made us choose it in the first place. This it feels is what Anon has done, and chosen to work through her anger. Commitment to this is inspiring.
So beautifully said Amelia. We defend that which is hurting us, and very interesting that on some level we do know the harm it is doing. We put up a fight, or we surrender and melt into our truth -sometimes the little fight precedes the letting go as this blog reveals.
I love the points you make here Rachel and Amelia, the intense reaction to what Serge was presenting was that I felt very raw and exposed by his words. I was identified as being ‘tough’ and was always applauded for this and without this I didn’t quite know who I was. The reaction was also that I never really wanted to be tough and so his words exposed what I had always denied in myself and I was sad about how I had constructed my life and my body. What is amazing is the love that Serge holds, regardless of my extreme reaction he didn’t waiver and through this I have learnt to let go of this protection and this has transformed my life. In truth and not in reaction- I love what he shared.
It is amazing how a simple remark as “be more fragile with yourself” can bring such a strong reaction.
I can relate to similar phrases being spoken to me and then thinking how can this be such a big reaction in me. I learnt that I had to bury my issues so deep that exposure of them would be deeply uncomfortable. But I know it has helped me immensely and I don’t regret feeling uncomfortable if the outcome is positive.
Fragility, is the key to awareness, I know this as a truth now, because I have experienced it. When I bumped into tables, rushed not to be late, was hard on myself for making mistakes, acted like a harsh word did not hurt, I numbed myself, the layer between my true awareness was thicker, I had hard shield around me but I was still hurting inside. Fragility brings awareness and through this true power is expressed and reconnected with.
It was lovely to read Anon, it is amazing how our body can change according to how we live, and as you said, thank you to Universal Medicine for showing you a different way, more gentle and more self loving.
This is science, observing, introducing a new element then observing again. The changes you have described are huge and if pharmaceutical companies could bottle what created the changes for you, they would. Esoteric Breast Massage can be very challenging, especially when we have lived a long way from our truth but it is so worth it to have the real woman back again.
This is a beautiful testimony to Esoteric Breast Massage and how it presented to you what you naturally are. The quality the practioners offer in this modality cannot keep being denied and as you have shared is a quality you have come to accept as being you too. An inspiring read with further insights into the extra weight we can carry not just being about the food we eat or how much exercise we do. Thank you anon.
Anon this is a heart warming read of how you could feel the quality of yourself through the EBM’s. Your weight lost is a great reminder that no amount of food can fill the amazing person you are from within and the powerful support an EBM plays in helping people work through their hurts.
As I read your article and experience I was aware that you followed your truth, you honoured where it needed to take you. For example, receiving the Esoteric Breast Massage, you mentioned that you felt ’embarrassed’ and yet you went and continued to go even when it challenged you. The truth is that the truth can knock us out of or ‘comfort zone’ but honouring that call for truth, can open doors to new experiences and deeper understanding of ourselves.
What amazes me is how much we have in common, how many women went through the getting tough and guarded and protecting ourselves through the hardness in the body, and how beautiful it is when you find, through the EBM, that exquisite tenderness inside, thanks to the reflection of the practitioner and the session itself.
Great sharing Anon, of you choosing to reconnect to the delicateness and tenderness within yourself and to see the truth of how being a sport woman was more like a shield of the true beauty that you are.
Dear Anon, thanks for sharing this part of your life, your honest expression made me laugh. It is wonderful to read stories of transformation that have come from someone’s commitment to persevere with healing, in your example this was with Esoteric Breast Massage even though you had some reluctance and anger around it. It is a message of reassurance for me (and others) to consider it is sometimes the things that will support us that are avoided and when not avoided the very thing needed for healing is the thing we resist most and find most uncomfortable. It might appear a fine line but it is not. I use to do a martial art that I intensely disliked but thought it was good for me – when I actually felt free to give it up it felt amazing to honour this. When healing is working for me, even though I might fight the process somewhat as the same time there is a deep knowing it is true and get little confirming signals of this along the way.
I really relate to what you have written about throwing yourself into sport, and ridiculing the ‘girly girls’… all the while wishing that you could show that you had hurt yourself too. I remember myself to be very much the same with netball – I was the dynamite on the court that zipped around aggressively chasing down the ball. If I fell over, which I did a lot, I’d dash of the court quickly, get some bandaids on as quickly as possible and get straight back on the court. I remember the mums and dads of all of my team members loving this because they knew that I was key to the team winning. I was proud of myself for being tough… yet as with you, there were times that I wished I could sit on the sideline and cry because my knees and hands hurt so much.
I too was branded as ‘tough’ and i enjoyed owning that title and feeling that I had to hold onto that way of living just so I had an identity. But really – it was all coming from my head with not once listening to my body saying ‘please slow down – you aren’t built this way’ – I really did push myself hard – spending yrs mucking out stables and riding horses, lifting heavy barrels and bags of grains. I loved not letting anyone help me. But really what I loved was the recognition and that in being tough i didn’t have to feel just how sensitive I truly am.
“you need to be more fragile with yourself” Our bodies are amazingly fragile and yet we often treat them roughly and think it is OK to be hard and tough – I always appreciate a reminder like this for however tender and delicate we think we are being there is always more. When I am hard on myself or allow myself to entertain a distracting thought something always goes awry. Recently I have become more careful and caring with myself while tending to my garden and this feels lovely not only at the time but on looking at it and appreciating it later.
Thank you for sharing this blog , what an inspiration to not only sporting women but all women on the path of reconnection to who they are.
What a gorgeous and honest blog. I can relate to much of it in hardening with sport, ridiculing the “girly girls” but also being jealous of how they were girls and not worried about being a girl. I also protected myself by reacting in a similar way to any man that showed interest in me by thinking there must be something wrong with him. If he liked me then based on that alone, I didn’t think much of him. Eeeek!! 6 months ago when a practitioner mentioned something about my tenderness as I was walking out the door, I stopped in my tracks. What was he on about?! Now I am rediscovering the tenderness of the woman that I am and I love it.
Anon I also had a mis-understanding about the word “fragility” and “tenderness”. Somehow they had become to me akin to a piece of glass that could shatter at any moment and certainly not a virtue I wanted to foster in myself. Yet after hearing Serge Benhayon present on the topic for a number of years I started to explore what that felt like for me and have come to now understand the great strength in tenderness and fragility. When I feel my body in tenderness i feel an absolute support and a readiness for whatever may come next.
This is a great re-read for me Anon, it never occurred to me to be gentle or tender until I attended a presentation by Serge Benhayon as I never saw any value in it – to me it was just being weak and how could that help you to get through this life. I am working on my resistance to be gentle and not fall into my old patterns and I notice the roughness and hard movements in others now more than ever. Like you I can now feel the benefit of letting go of the hardness and protection.
Anon thank you for sharing your inspiring story and showing such loving support for change. You are listening to your body and that is the true science and medicine needed to return to the tenderness you always held within.
Dear Anon, Thank you for sharing your amazing story of transformation. I loved this sentence and wholeheartedly agree as this is my truth too. ‘While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.’
“It took a while but I eventually stopped reacting in anger to them and started to accept that underneath that, my whole life I had been wanting to be fragile and tender with myself but I had never allowed that.” I can relate to this, I did not go to the extremes in sport like you did as I was never that successful at sport but I can relate to the feeling I did not want to be a ‘girly girl’. Though deep within I could feel I actually was deeply yearning to be tender with myself and honour my preciousness. I have been able to reconnect to these beautiful qualities in myself now as well thanks to the many presentations held by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon about what it truly means to be a woman plus also EBM’s a truly beautiful modality. Thank you for sharing.
The healing offered by Esoteric Breast Massages amazes me. Anon your willingness to work through the layers of protection and come to the beauty of your innate tenderness is truly precious.
Anon this story is so beautiful and showcases how naturally tender and delicate you are. This is a joy to feel because I feel you have let me in. By accepting your own fragility you also accept mine and it is clear that you treat yourself and others with a deep level of love and care.
Dear Anon, reading this blog again, I find this testimony so powerful. It is proof of how amazing and how important the modality of Esoteric Breast Massage is; it has helped you to re-connect to the tender woman you really are. I love all the Esoteric Healing Modalities and have been supported through many difficult phases by them and the amazing Esoteric Modality Practitioners.
What is written here just shows how layer after layer of hardness is heaped onto our bodies through sport and trying to be someone that deep down inside we know we are not. Anon, the transformation you are making is huge and inspirational for us all.
Yes Anne the healing that takes place when we remove layer by layer invites us to remove more of what is not real and can’t stay due to the loving choices we are making towards self care.
Anon, the changes in your life, with how you relate to yourself and others is remarkable. While there is no science experiment, you are living proof of how supportive Universal Medicine, its practitioners and modalities are, and a testimony to the supportive choices you have made.
It was so beautiful to read what you shared Anon. How you chose to reconnect to gorgeous you and gave yourself to be loving and tender. Enjoy being you.
Such honest and beautiful sharing Anon.
What an amazing transformation you went through after letting go of your guarding, and allowing tenderness and fragility to be part of your everyday beingness. Truly inspirational read.
Its lovely to know that through the EBMs that you have had you finally were able to allow that tenderness to come through. and accept it as being part of who you are as a woman. Even those of us who have not played sport at any high level or felt o ne of the boys, still have found it hart to accept and allow our tenderness to shine.
I love the brutal honesty in this article, the fury that anyone suggesting we be more gentle and tender can spark within and the amazing transformations that occur when the treat ourselves with that level of care and respect.
It’s incredible what can happen when we let go of the shield of protection around ourselves. So beautiful to read about your journey so far. Really, beneath us all is a natural effervescent way of being bursting to get out.
Absolutely no denying the truth the body shows us, Anon thank you for sharing your amazing story. Making the choice to respond to the honesty that is inherent in us opens the way to live with true care for ourselves and equally all others.
It’s interesting how people can say things and it brings up so much for us.
Wow this is so beautiful and open and dear fragile and so tender how and that you share this with us, so honest so true. Also it is so short and simply expressed. This is absolutely an amazing blog. Thank You so much – I can feel that so many women, me too, can relate to that. I’ve also just started lets say half a year ago to understand and accept this fragility and tenderness that is there and now after having two Esoteric Breast Massages decided also to get some treatments supporting me to reconnect back and in full to this part in me as it feels so lovely. In the last month I also noticed that I started letting people in and feeling that I deserve love – this belief that I do not deserve love was so ingrained, now it feels like a breakthrough, a start to build on that foundation.
The power of gentleness and self loving is evident in your amazing transformation.
I have grown up totally unsure how to accept any aspect of my fragility to the point that I often still struggle to express it. I do know it exists and my commitment to making that reconnection is strong and there has been progress. However, like many others, the layers of hardness built up over the years are taking some time to thaw out. Thank you for your story – it inspires me to go that step deeper in my journey back to myself.
Thank you for sharing. It reminds me of me, turning hard via sports and just having this ‘hard way’ to relate to others. Hitting the ball hard with hockey is just a metaphore for that in daily communications. I also experienced moments of truth in my life and I too would be furiated, wanting to hit hard back. But the truth already hit me hard, but then in a loving way: I knew the person who spoke made sense, but I was just not ready to embrace it in full. That is how it works, reflecting on it now. Seeds were planted in my body and gradually I was letting it grow, releasing the protective layers for me to come out in full into the beautiful and tender woman I am now.
I love this blog and all you have shared. I recalled a feeling of embarrassment to show the world who and how I was when I connected to how gentle and fragile I was as a teen. I hid behind toughness as well but I did long for that tenderness. I felt the world was pretty rough and the only way to navigate it was through putting up a big strong wall around me and being tough enough to put out a slight threatening vibe to keep others (and potential hurt) away.
A very powerful sharing of your return to tenderness. The line: ‘While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life….’ is the clincher for me. You are the scientific study and there is no stronger proof than the one you live and feel in your body on a daily basis, something science will catch up to one day. Until then, stories like yours are the inspiration for all who read this and have not yet begun the return to their own tenderness.
Embracing our fragility is not an easy choice to make but once it is embraced it allows you to connect to the delicateness and loveliness that you are and that is powerful.
Thank you.
“you need to be more fragile with yourself” Thank you for this sharing. I feel this is true for myself too. I can feel how sometimes when I go to do something I can brace myself and go into a hardness. And even before that, most of the time, I am not in touch with that gorgeous fragility and delicacy that allows me to enjoy myself so much. This is a great reminder, thank you Anon.
I feel many women grow up pretending to be tough and using our bodies in a way that is hard and tough. The result is a hard and tough body. I too had this, that was shaped much like a man, including fairly flat chested. After 4 to 6 years of Esoteric Healing and EBM’s my body shape has also changed significantly, and my breasts are a whole size larger. These changes that are happening in women are miracles and I’m so appreciative for Universal Medicine and esoteric Women’s Health for offering these therapies.
Hello Anon, your blog is so important for so many people. I totally understand what you say; the clear changes you are feeling in your body and your being are more proof than any ‘scientific’ proof. You are your own science experiment, right there. I don’t need any more proof either; feeling the changes within myself and feeling and seeing the changes in so many students of Universal Medicine (or correctly stated: students of their Inner Heart) is the clearest evidence anybody could need.
Truly wonderful blog. I tried playing sport when I was growing up and it just never worked out for me. I was never ‘good’ at any sport and was so afraid of getting hurt. I did try very hard though, but always felt like I was less and didn’t belong. There are claims it is good for learning and great for kids, but every experience I ever had with sport was that it was about being hard, and I observed issues between people being created because of the competition. Sport really does not serve us at all.
I love this sentence “i can use my body as my science’ This is so true. Your story in large parts could be mine and i have learned that whenever i go against my body it has to harden and i lose the natural tenderness and delicacy that has been such a blessing to rediscover within myself.
Thank you Anon. and Carolien, yes a totally amazing statement, “I can use my body as my science’. This blog and 1000 + others along with the 100,000 + comments all contribute to the fact that there are many students of the Livingness who bodies are a reflection of a true science!
I know all that Serge Benhayon presents to be true in my heart but if I ever have a moment of doubt all I need do is look around me at those 100’s and 100’s of people that I have seen transform before my eyes and there is no room for even the slightest sliver of doubt. All these testimonials, in both the blogs and the comments are miracles on their own. When you put the numbers to it as you have Greg it grounds the truth of it even more obviously so.
Thank you Carolien, I agree, the transformational miracles that I have also witnessed leaves me in absolute appreciation of the presentations by Serge Benhayon!
This is a beautiful example of relinquishing the armour we shield ourselves with in order to protect our delicateness. The irony being, it is this delicateness that is our best ‘defence’ and where our true power lies, should we just accept and allow it to be.
The word “power” can have so many misconceptions around it. I got tripped up in thinking what it meant to be in my power. Our fragility is our power.
This is an amazing and very inspiring story and would resonate deeply with those who grew up feeling that we have to be strong and even competitive with men, just to be accepted or even recognised by our fathers. Being able to bring yourself to an EBM was such a beautiful step back to connecting to the beautiful, tender and fragile woman. It took the true kind of strength, and in that you found all the divine qualities of the woman.
Great sharing. I recognize myself in your story. Although I had other ways in my young life to harden up, just just you I turned into the tough girl. Being girly, let alone tender, was not my way. I even found this weak. Typically something for girls. Ha,ha, I was a girl, but apparently adopted a way of being to ignore that. It took me a long way to embrace the woman in me and now since a few years the tenderness as well. It is a for ever deepening process, as the hardness pops up at several occasions. It is such a deeply engrained pattern. What helps me is to connect (deeper) to my body again and make tender movements. Then my body relaxes again and I become more of me again: this tender and loving woman.
Wow Anon! What an inspiring transformation you have made to how you live your everyday by being honest with yourself and by making the commitment to ‘allow your tenderness from within’ to care and nourish yourself. Thank you for sharing Anon.
Re-reading your blog reinforced for me the importance of allowing ourselves to be fragile, tender and loving. Thank you for sharing so honestly your unfolding back to you.
It is amazing how we can turn ourselves into the opposite of who we are, just to receive some recognition or praise. It is hard to hear kids being commended for being tough, ‘taking one for the team’, or just putting up with being cold and wet during a match. We need to start raising our kids to know this isn’t admirable or desirable – instead it is their inner qualities that we love.
I agree Fiona, there is quite a turnaround needed, to stop fostering self-abusive behaviour, for the kids to receive acceptance and recognition. They deserve much more than that; they deserve our full love, just for being who they are, without any need to do anything self-harming or needing to turn themselves into something they are not.
What an inspiring blog that many can relate to. I loved the honesty about reacting to the suggestion of needing to be more tender and what was presenting after Esoteric Breast massages. The true gem here is that you chose to let go of the hardness as you innately knew that being tender and loving with yourself was your true way of being.
It is so ironic that the way most of us are brought up with the best of intentions and the means by which we gain love and recognition is so contrary to our true nature and harmful to our well-being. As a boy I was confirmed by how tough I was, not to cry or being a ‘sissy’. Yet in truth I am a gentle and tender loving man, as all men are, and not the hardened person I grew up to be. It is only in recent years through the inspiration and support of Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine students have I re-discovered my tenderness and no longer hold back (most of the time) from expressing it. To do so is exhilarating.
This is great Anon, i could almost feel the rage inside in regards the suggestion to be more fragile with yourself (!), though equally I can also feel the allowance of this/your tenderness too, which is so beautiful. Being fragile has such a negative connotation of being weak or princess-like and for those of us who have hardened through sports, or in my case through studies, where there’s constant striving to achieve or get the result, ‘to be fragile’ (we think) is not really an option. How completely dishonouring of the woman. To undo years of such programming agreed does take a while, and although nothing is scientifically proven as you say, feeling the spaciousness and tenderness in one’s body from simply actively connecting to it through touch, feel, sight or sense, does have an undeniable and also tangible effect on the body’s design, shape and harmony.
This is very beautiful Anon, thank you. It is so fantastic that you are now letting your tenderness and fragility (within you) to come out, there is so much of them and they could not be bottled up any longer!
It is amazing to hear the changes you have experienced by allowing yourself to connect to your fragility and tenderness within – thank you for sharing.
Thank you Anon for your honest sharing. This blog is a lived proof of the power of the EBM modality. While not scientifically proved, your testimony is loud and clear in showing the potential the EBM modality has to support women in regaining their femininity.
It was a Joy to read the incredible changes you made in your life, after such an investment of gaining recognition through sport and being tough.
I felt the courage and strength it took to let down our guard and be the tender, beautiful and also powerful woman you are.
Your story is an inspiration for us all.
I love how you’ve described your reaction to Serge Benhayon’s suggestion you ‘be more fragile’ – I have experienced this rage too on a couple of occassion’s… both around similar things… and both a result of me not wanting to feel how harsh and cruel I’d treated myself.
It’s amazing how, despite all the obvious resistance you felt, you honoured and allowed the other part that felt the pull towards Esoteric Breast Massage, and you are enjoying the more of your beauty and preciousness because of that. This shows how loud our Soul can speak to us even in a whisper.
Beautiful, Fumiyo, yes, once we decide to listen, our body and our Soul are actually really loud in showing us the way.
I was at a women’s group recently and I shared how I didn’t want to be there and had huge resistance so much so that I’m not even sure how I managed to get myself there. Another made a comment that my soul just packed me up and put me in the car. Thankfully this is what our soul does at times.
What a beautiful sharing! Thank you for demystifying the good of sport and showing why you used sport (to get recognition and to hide) and what it did to your body (making you be abusive with your body and numbing your fragility).
It is so beautiful that the Esoteric Breast Massage allowed you to feel that you had been wanting to be fragile and tender with yourself all your life but never allowed that, to now choosing to commit to nurturing yourself in a way that honours what you have always wanted. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story and the power of such an extraordinary modality.
I can relate here to what you describe Anon on the sporting field. I too used to pride myself in being tough and rough and going in hard in contact team sports – it felt like a need to prove myself on the sporting field, but if I ever injured someone else I would suddenly wake up and realise what I was actually doing, and usually help them up or get the ice bag! So deep down I also knew there was something not right about it!
Me too Andrew, I would hate it when it came to seeing another being hurt especially in the physical sense. I played a lot of cricket and whilst I would ‘enjoy’ taking wickets and getting people out I could usually always, at least when I did not override it – feel the immense disappointment from the person I got out. So generally I ended up bowling so no runs were scored rather than really aggressively to take wickets! That was my way of justifying what I was doing!!!
That’s amazing that you actually subtly changed the way you played sport to avoid the obvious inequality you felt in sport. It has made me consider that I probably did that too but in a different way. I can remember measuring how physical I would be on the football field. I would be aggressive but only to a certain point to as to not physically injure the other person.
I realised while reading this how I have not allowed myself to feel my tenderness. How even though I don’t play sports, I no
longer work physically hard, I had still not allowed myself to feel my tenderness, to surrender to this tenderness, it feels like I had
felt that tenderness was a sign of weakness, so I had not allowed myself to go there. Just allowing myself to surrender to this tenderness inside me feels so warm and yummy.
It is wise to stop what is harming others. Our bodies know how to return to harmony if we follow its responses.
It’s a great story, how you discovered that being hard and tough isn’t it. That is such an important thing to accept that we can’t always be tough, and that we don’t have to guard our feelings and our beautiful selves.
Tenderness is our innate way of being, why do we stray so far from it? I know I did as well and am now taking the steps to return to that tenderness that was there at a very young age. If I reflect on when I started to toughen up, it was my means of protection, not wanting to feel rejected, it was easier to simply ‘do it all on my own’, not needing anyone else’s help. That way I wasn’t reliant on anyone else and therefore I managed and could control me not getting hurt. However, this didn’t work and my body showed me that. It is now a loving process of letting go of those ideals that I held, to allow myself to be supported, to see that the hardening up is just a false protection. There is another way, a way to be where I am gentle, tender and so gorgeous with myself. Now for me this is the way forward.
It is so amazing in how far we are able to set up a stage play we believe to be life in order not to feel our hurts and choices.
You are a real Powerhouse Anon, as you have chosen to look at all that you did with openness despite all the confrontations coming up. The changes you have made are truly inspirational.
Wow Anon this is amazing, thank you for sharing your experience. I love that you have found a way that supports you to be fragile and honouring of how you feel and accept the tenderness and preciousness you naturally are. It is awesome becoming your own scientist and letting your body and its wisdom be your one and only text book. I found this to be such a support for me and my life too has changed and becomes more and more loving everyday.
To be truly consistently fragile, tender and self-caring with ourselves can be one of the hardest things to do, and yet as an ever deepening awareness it is the most beautiful experience.
So true Jenny, as a man I have found it has not been easy to be consistent in embracing my tenderness and fragility as this is very exposing and challenging for others ( men and women) but the more I have committed to honour and connect with my body the easier it has been to live who I truly am and offer that reflection to others that is a strength and not a weakness being our tender loving selves.
Thank you Anon, I love these lines “you need to be more fragile with yourself” and “my whole life I had been wanting to be fragile and tender with myself but I had never allowed that.’ it is amazing that you have allowed yourself to feel this, have gone there and you and your body have naturally started to shift and change – what feels like to me back to your natural self not how you felt you had to be growing up. Even reading the word fragility my body melts, I too can be way too hard on and with myself. This is something I am definitely going to enjoy, embrace, honour and take in my day. It’s also amazing the level of your awareness with this, and even at a young age you felt something was up, how you did not want to be forced or hurt other people.
It’s interesting how our hurts can throw us so far off course and become almost completely different people, both physically and in personality. You could identify the exact point you changed and the thoughts that drove you to choose a different path to be recognised even though it was hurting you physically. Your story is a real inspiration.
I agree Mathew, it is like we morph into something different to our true nature, only to protect ourselves from not getting hurt, and it is crazy that we live our whole lives in this way unless we choose to let go and deal with those hurts that will allow us to embrace the absolute amazingness that we are.
I read a comment on a blog recently saying that ” we are the scientists” how true is this. Our bodies are the living breathing proof of the changes we make in our lives and what else is needed when these changes are felt and known by the body. A wonderful sharing. Thank you Anon.
This is an amazing sharing. From feeling how lost and hard you were… to feeling how much more open and tender you are with yourself now… is truly inspirational. Your story really shows how we are never locked into a harmful way of being, there is always the opportunity to make a different choice at any time. For me, Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon supported me when I was prepared to make a different choice, as well as the Esoteric Breast Massages. Like you, I am, and feel, like a completely different person now than I did when I first found Universal Medicine.
With what we are learning about ourselves and a new way of living is to be appreciated. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story, well done.
That tenderness and fragility is what everyone wants, but not what most people choose to support. Thankyou Anon.
Very true Ben! We all want to be treated tenderly and lovingly, but do not choose this way of expressing. I have been shown just how powerful my life can change when I actively choose this for myself.
It is what we want yet we do so much to protect ourselves from it. Once the choice has been made to not express tenderness and fragility and this has been lived out for many years, it is challenging to undo the effects of this choice. It takes commitment and hard work but the rewards are instant. Even the most minuscule amount of tenderness and fragility feels amazing and so the process of undoing years of protection is self motivating.
I agree it takes a lot of courage to open up and show yourself in your fragility and preciousness nowadays as putting on a tough show is somewhat accepted. It is an amazing choice to make!
Well said Judith. It also takes huge courage to take the steps to make the change. Having an EBM is one thing. Then having a huge reaction and going back for more and more amongst huge reaction really is courageous.
I agree Judith, putting on a tough show is not only accepted in our society it is championed for both men and women alike, suppressing their innate sensitivity and delicateness which the body needs to pay for at some stage.
Your story makes clear how far are we going to go for recognition and acceptance, how devastating it is and how amazing is to leave it behind. I can only imagine how confronting may have been the first EBM sessions and how much stuff came up then. Thanks for sharing Anon!
Wow what an amazing living proof you are of the huge effects of being tender with yourself and taking care of yourself. Like you wrote:
‘While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities”.
thank you for your sharing Anon. I have a past of sports as well and what has shocked me in hindsight is the championing of disregarding our body and being able to keep going despite pain and injury. I was extreme at this and managed to finish a game with a broken bone or a concussion. This was seen as strength and power but true strength and power is in acknowledging how abusive most sports truly are and to honour our body in its natural tenderness and fragility.
I remember well that a healer I saw years ago once told me, that it is ok to be vulnerable. Really, you should have seen the look on my face, I felt like hitting him and to walk away and to never come back again.
Thank you Anon for sharing your experience with the Esoteric Breast Massage’s and Universal Medicine. As I read this I started to notice a common reaction of giving myself a hard time for ‘Not having as amazing results as what is being shared’ in reading the blogs. Essentially comparing and then going into a ‘your not enough as you are’ spiral – until catching it now that is. But what if I accepted what Serge Benhayon has presented in audio’s – that everyone unfolds in their own time, we all have our own lives and choices to unravel and comparison is simply a poison. Comparison hurts the body, this I have felt. It stops us seeing and appreciating what is being shared, if we stop reacting to the truth we get to feel the fact that we can be equal to the truth being shared with us.
Thank you Anon for writing about your return to fragility and tenderness. It is amazing how our early years can influence the rest of our life. I learnt that if I became hard and drove myself in what ever I did there was a recognition I got from others. I used to ride horses and pushed my body so many times refusing to listen to all the aches and pains from injuries and the physical hard work. It took a long time for me to understand what tenderness and fragility really meant and felt like and it is an ongoing process through the support of Universal medicine and its many practitioners.
Anon thank you for your powerful blog. How great for you to be able to experience the lovely fragile and tender woman that you are through EBM’s and the wonderful support of Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine Practitioners, but mostly by listening to your inner knowing!
Was lovey to read the transformation you have made and that now you can allow yourself to feel the tenderness you naturally are as a woman.
What a beautiful story, it is awesome to read of your transformation to someone who is deeply caring for herself. And how you described losing weight seemed so effortless – just goes to show that body shape and image is not all about diet but about how nurturing and tender we are with ourselves.
Awesome to read how you returned back to your natural fragility and tenderness and how you kept on going despite the initial resistance. You knew which way you had to go to heal. Great last line too about using your body as science, a living proof of what Universal Medicine is offering.
What an incredible testament to the power of connecting deeply to our natural tenderness and fragility. Wow blown away, thanks for sharing.
I applaud your transformation and your willlingness to go deeper within yourself when you had the chance even though it was tough. Now THAT, to me, is being strong. To welcome tenderness and fragility toward yourself from yourself or others is gold, – and I’m a work in progress too.
Beautiful Anon, thanks for sharing. I loved hearing how you knew that having an EBM was the right thing to support you even though you found them uncomfortable, and in doing so you were able to connect back with that tenderness inside you.
Goes to show that being fragile, tender and delicate with our bodies or not has far more influence than most care to realise.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful transformation. I love how you finished this with ‘While there may not be a proven scientific study behind it yet, I can use my body as my science and I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities.’ – beautifully expressed and I completely agree.
Lots of girls find the world does not make sense and with lack of a role model they can relate to toughen up to get through life. A woman can be naturally tender loving and precious while at the same time having that inner strength, its not weak at all, it is just natural. Thank you anonymous for sharing your sensitive and personal story with honesty and grace.
I loved reading this Anon from start to finish. I can relate to wanting to be more like my sister who was a bit of a tomboy and building myself up in a hard way to cope with life. I saw it as being weak to be tender, fragile or vulnerable – I could cope with everything and I didn’t need any help from anyone.
Having Esoteric Breast Massage sessions showed me that it was ok to treat myself with tenderness and that the hardness was built up as a protection and through the tenderness of the practitioner I was able to feel what tenderness truly feels like.
Dear Anon, thank you for sharing this. I love how you allowed yourself to continue having the Esoteric Breast Massages though as you described many things came up that weren’t so great to feel and were actually quite uncomfortable. This is so very profound as we often give up when we do something that feels good for us but then also feel all this yucky stuff coming up, because we have the understanding that when we do something good for ourselves we immediately have to feel better forgetting all the while that all the stuff that made/makes us feel not good that we have accumulated over the years needs to come out and be discarded.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. How beautiful that you have allowed yourself to feel that you are really very fragile and tender. It is so crucial for men and women to accept and allow that we are naturally very very tender.
Amazing transformation. Many are realising that being tough in fact hurts us and doesn’t protect us at all. A very freeing knowing.
Such a beautiful and honest sharing, thank you.
There are many ideal and beliefs in society about how we all need to toughen up but in truth this is so incredibly harming to us. As a tradesman I am learning to bring a level tenderness with myself and bring this to an industry that is all about being rough and hard on the body. Thank you for sharing how commitment to ‘you’ has changed the way you treat yourself and how you are with others around you.
This is so important Mick: that we don’t play along being tough, especially in certain industries. How beautiful that you started bringing tenderness as a tradesman and how healing for everybody to experience this!
Being tough is so incredibly widespread in our society in so many ways that we don’t even realise. Whether it be physical as in sport or heavy lifting, or emotionally in abusive environments, or mentally as in the academic world, or even spiritually in strenuous unnatural practices. Thank you Mike for bringing tenderness to the trades, and to you Anon releasing the hardness from your body and your life and expressing this beautiful truth for us to digest.
Esoteric Breast Massage- offered only by women- offers such a deep tenderness and nurturing.
Very inspiring and life-changing!
Thank you Anon for sharing your story. I was a tomboy and most definitely thought I cut the wrong deal with God because I should have been a boy. Growing up as one of three girls in an indian family with the culture and religion confirming that boys are ‘better’ and have more authority than girls, left me feeling unwanted.
Growing breasts or having anything to do with being a woman was certainly not for me.
When I came across the Esoteric Breast Massage, I had no idea what to expect but the initial love and care the practitioner gave me was beyond words.
These women who practice this are living role models and offer us all as women the opportunity to re-connect back to the real you that is buried underneath all the pain and hurt, hardness and protection.
It took a few sessions and then a few more to begin to open up. What came out in terms of my buried pain was phenomenal. I have no regrets and would highly recommend the Esoteric Breast Massage.
On a final note – Serge Benhayon does NOT ever practice this treatment and never has.
Thank you Anon for your honest sharing. You show such strength through your journey of transformation.
Wow, what a fabulous sharing. Thank you Anon, your honest portrayal of a life built around sport and becoming tough as a result in order to feel approved of, is very moving and your tenderness and fragility shine through. I loved your words here, also, “I can use my body as my science.” Spot on and it’s a wondrous thing to have connected to. My first Esoteric Breast Massage also brought up a lot for me as it is given with such loving dedication by the practitioners – it exposed how unloving I had been with myself. What a gift to have actually felt that, to know that there was another way to be with my body that I had seemingly abandoned so long before. The fact that you lost so much weight as a result of the esoteric treatments is of no surprise to me at all, for once our understanding of who we naturally are re-emerges, everything shifts….beautifully so.
Thank you for sharing this so openly, it is really beautiful.
Thank you for you tender honest sharing, Anon.
I also felt very confused for many years. Not really sure what I ‘should be’ when I felt so sensitive and vulnerable – but I was living up to the mask of masculinity. You losing 30 kilos is formidable, and it is a symbol of the layers of protection that you have been shedding since you started to allow yourself to feel and accept your vulnerability. Really, really beautiful.
This is a very honest account, and your comment “I simply cannot argue with the changes that have occurred in my body and in my life as a result of the support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and healing modalities” is a ringing endorsement. The body simply can’t lie to us even if we don’t entirely understand the how or the why.
Thank you for sharing your experience with Tenderness, sport, in life and your deepening of being more tender, it was lovely to read and a great reminder to us all.
An open and honest blog about your choices and how you are tenderly coming back to you. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing so powerfully your journey of discovery of the tender and fragile woman you are underneath the layers of protection that you had built up to survive in a world that rewarded you for being hard. The transformation in your body speaks volumes and I would love to hear more about your unfolding as you build a new foundation and claim yourself as a woman; and a beautiful role model for young girls to be inspired by.
EBM’s are life changing – great you stayed with it even though it brought up so much for you. It goes to show that under any layer of hardness we create, the tenderness is still there underneath it all.
Lovely blog, what an amazing turnaround, and to stay with it even while it made you uncomfortable. I had my first EBM a few years back and it was a complete shock how I felt in my body, my whole left side felt like concrete, solid and I could feel nothing, and I had some feeling on my right. I did not want to feel this and I wanted to run away, and on that day I wasn’t sure I’d ever have another (my practitioner was super gentle and loving with me and I had never really experienced that before – she did tell me much later that she wasn’t sure if she’d see me again!). I did continue and it’s been a slow unraveling as I learn to appreciate and honour the tender and fragile woman I am. Thank you, reading your sharing today has helped me appreciate how much I’ve changed from the angry, fierce, very ‘male’ focussed, hard woman to the tender, loving, fragile woman I am today – I’m like a completely different person and the EBM has been a huge part of that journey, and is an amazing modality.
I find it a bit of a shock to imagine you as a little 5 year old girl playing hockey, but generally we are incredibly young when we realise there is a way to get attention and recognition for what we do. At such a young age we are already calculating, calibrating and forming how we will be as we grow up to get by in the world – it’s pretty scary. I have been having Esoteric Breast Massages for several years now and it is very gorgeous to feel tender, fragile and delicate, I am still noticing patterns of behaviour I use to get attention and recognition and how that has affected me; but I’m learning how to just observe them and begin to let go without being hard on myself. The Esoteric Breast Massage and other Esoteric Modalities have been a huge support in understanding, accepting and getting to know myself as the powerful but gentle and delicate woman I am.
That’s incredible to have been so far from fragility and to be having Esoteric Breast Massages by your own choice and knowing that it was exactly what you needed. To have lost that weight, regular periods and interacting with people on a different level is super amazing. It shows the power of the Esoteric Breast Massage and when you are open to surrender to the natural tender, delicate women that we are, which is what the EBM supports us to feel, then you can’t deny who you know you are. I couldn’t believe the hardness that I was living in, I didn’t want to look at it at first and as you say, the self fury of choosing that was massive. I am now feeling the power in my tenderness and fragility – what a turn around!
Thank you for sharing the story of how much your life has changed since you opened up to your tenderness, and how having Esoteric Breast Massages truly supported you through this process of letting go of the old protection and hardness. Very inspiring indeed.
Despite the reactions and anger you still chose to go and keep up with the Esoteric Breast Massages. Deep down we know that the reactions and emotions are not us and saying ‘No I choose to not hold onto those ill emotions anymore’ is greatly inspiring. Thank you Anon.
Yes it was all about being tough and strong for me a lot of the time too. It is so easy to exist being hard in a hard world and it has even felt to be the normal way to live, but as I have allowed myself to feel more tenderness, there is such an appreciation of myself that has begun to surface that now feels amazing. I love how you have shared your reactions, like your indignation and anger and despite this, your decision not to argue with your body. Also your choice to continue the Esoteric Breast Massage modality, however uncomfortable it was for you at first. A great sharing, thank you anon.
Its funny – the world would say that you are being tough and brave by getting out there, excelling at sport and not backing down. However, I’m struck by the strength and purpose it must take to stick with those first feelings of tenderness, to overcome the reaction that came up, and your resolve to continue with the treatments to discover the woman within.
Beautifully said, Simon.
I agree wholeheartedly Simon. The most powerful and empowering step that anonymous has shared here, to me, is following her inner feeling to continue with having treatments with the modality of Esoteric Breast Massage. There are times when we know that what may arise for us may be hard, but that ‘inner voice’ is there, clear and strong, saying that this is the direction to go… I felt similarly when I began having treatments in this modality. So much hardness, protection and my own versions of what I’d thought it was to be ‘strong’, ‘resilient’ and the like, gradually let go… And what was there underneath, was the most beautiful knowing of ‘me’ – as the woman that I am, and as the graceful, aware and beautiful being that I have always been, but had covered up so stringently…
I agree Simon and as Ariana says “men are just as sensitive and tender as women”. It is something most of us men avoid showing in case we are seen as weak but I found there to be a huge strength and support the more I embrace my tenderness and sensitivity.
There is great strength in true tenderness.
Well said Julie.
I had my second Esoteric Breast Massage last week – but for me it was the first time I really connected with my breasts and wasn’t in total shock when taking off my top – it was one of the most gentle and loving experiences I’ve had.
Like Anon – it was all about being tough and strong for me as a teenager – to hide that ‘little girl’ – but actually connecting back to being fragile, is very powerful. And I had never associated it with power before! It is lovely to hear stories like this of how we can simply connect back to our fragility, simply by allowing it!
This is a great article to read on how Esoteric Breast Massage can support a woman back to her natural tenderness. Your experience is tangible and one I am sure many other women can relate to. Inspirational, thank you.
Thankyou for your openness – beautiful to read how you “nurture and treat (your) body with tenderness and care”. I am still learning how to be fragile with myself, having coped with life by being in male energy and “doing”
Really beautifully expressed. There is so much within this that resonates. How sad that we follow something that we may have naturally felt impulses to try and turn it into something to train hard, go big at – taking the joy away and adding the pressure too. In not listening to our bodies, or following the path for someone else we lose that all important connection to the tenderness within. How beautiful to have reconnected.
Thank you. A beautiful and honest sharing. So lovely to feel your fragility and tenderness emerge.
Gorgeous story of the unveiling of a beautiful, tender, knowing woman.
That is amazing. It is great that you share how you reacted on being tender and fragile at first and how you could allow and accept it more and more. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, I too was under the belief that I had to be stronger and become self sufficient, and do everything myself. Becoming a single mum with 2 children 6 and 8 at the time. Take care of running everything to do with living day to day. Being the mum and trying to be the Dad (in the physical sense) by doing all the gardening, pulling heavy rubbish bins, carrying as many shopping bags as was physically possible etc etc etc trying to prove to myself that I could do this and I actually did and I was proud of it. I continued that for about 10 years until I was introduced to Universal Medicine and EBM’s and then I experienced what true tenderness was and after quite a few EBM’s I allowed myself to truly feel my own tenderness and it was absolutely beauty-full. I still get drawn in to life and life’s stuff from time to time but I have that marker for myself that absolute truth of who I am in me, and that absolute truth keeps pulling me back to me.
thank you for sharing – I know what you mean re being tough and independent and reacting to being fragile! A work in progress!
That was really beauty-full, thank you for sharing.
That’s amazing what you have written – I have also lost about 20kg since attending Universal Medicine events and I eat much more than I ever did when I tried to lose weight and couldn’t. Reading what you wrote made me connect to how much I too used to attack my body and it makes sense now that my body under assault would carry all the extra weight. It seem that now I am more myself my body has relaxed into her natural healthy shape.