By Alison Moir, U.K.
Sex verses making love, now that’s a topic that could throw the world upside down!
It is still taboo to talk about sex or making love unless it is to make fun of it, to belittle it, or to use it against someone. Even if we do talk about it, it never really goes deeper than the physical aspect of it.
Through lack of self-confidence, self-worth and in fact anything to do with self, I can now honestly say that I abused my body through sex. I am able to say this now knowing what I know through Universal Medicine.
Through disregard for myself I had total disregard for my body, it was a body for function, to get me through the day, and so when it came to sex that was also how I saw my body, it was for the pleasure of another, to please another. The me, the I, the who I was, did not really enter this part of the relationship.
I grew up in the seventies and eighties, when the pill had given people the freedom to open up to sex, but in doing so lost their own integrity of what was true or not. I think the term ‘anything goes’ could be applied to these times.
My teenage years were in the 70’s. Looking back, that was quite a confusing time growing up, nothing was really talked about in the family, and so you would go and find things out for yourself. The problem in doing that when there was not an ounce of love for yourself is that you don’t know what is loving for you and what is not. Even if you have an inkling somewhere in you that this doesn’t feel true, it is soon over-ridden to please another.
The 80’s were fast and furious and all about having fun and earning lots of money, and along with that the freedom to have sex… but it wasn’t fun, because underneath all that was an overwhelming feeling of emptiness and the money couldn’t hide that… in some ways it just highlighted it. Sex was used to try to fill that emptiness… but that never worked… just more emptiness. This became the merry-go-round of life.
None of my relationships I had were really taken seriously, I couldn’t because I didn’t take myself seriously… until I met someone who was different, was interested in me, who asked questions about me, who cared.
We eventually got married and stayed together until he died of liver cancer in the year 2000.
In all our times together I can honestly say that we made love once. Some other times came close to it, but that one time stands out, so much so that I got pregnant. So I had a marker in me that told me there was a difference between sex and making love, I had felt it even though I over-rode it.
Looking back knowing what I now know, I can understand our relationship and how it declined during our time together. We took each other for granted, we didn’t truly express what we were feeling, and the hurts didn’t heal… they just got buried. I am not sure if we would have stayed together if he were still here today. I know our relationship would have had to go through some radical changes, and I don’t know if we were both strong enough to make them together.
This was before Universal Medicine, and even then I could see how he used to change when he drank, and by many standards he was not a heavy drinker, but he did drink every day. This did affect our relationship and our sex life. Drinking would change his whole character and how he was to me, and in my lack of love for myself I accepted it. He was never physically abusive but I could feel him change and he was no longer the person I knew and loved.
When he died I began to look into myself. I was not sick, but neither was I well.
The medical profession could not help me, I was not sick enough, there was nothing to diagnose, the pains in my stomach after loads of tests said there was nothing wrong with me, but I knew there was… so began the quest for alternative therapies.
I tried many and none worked, and looking back some made me worse. I know this because I would look at my friends who were living the high life, who were not spending all this time and money on lotions and potions and they looked and felt healthier than me… so there had to be more.
Then Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon came along and things began to make sense, all the things I had been feeling, he was saying.
Since the death of my husband I have been celibate for 12 years, and I love it. I love it because it has taken this long to find out who I am.
I don’t miss sex; I don’t miss the emptiness you feel after what should be the joy of two loving people coming together in harmony.
I am not looking for love as I was before, I am no longer afraid of it, because I am no longer empty and I don’t need another to fill that space.
If someone were to come along now, I would have enough love within me to know what is true or not, and to say no to what is not loving. I would be stronger in myself to have a true loving relationship, that had making love as part of that relationship.
There is a difference between sex and making love and I know which I would choose every time.