Despite the Odds, Deep Down I Knew There Was More To Life

By Brendan Mooney, Australia

On the outside, my life appeared to be going well. In my final year at a large private school in Brisbane, I was voted school captain by my peers. I was also one of the top academic students, the fastest runner, and the most talented violinist performing in front of many large crowds at various concerts. This type of success continued after school, as I completed a degree in Psychology (with Honours) at the University of Queensland. I then worked full-time for one year as a violin tutor, working privately and at various private and public schools. In total, I tutored 54 primary and secondary students each week.

In 2004, I decided to complete my psychology registration requirements and also commenced a PhD in Clinical Psychology and Clinical Neuropsychology at the University of Queensland. I was awarded a scholarship to complete this PhD and also a University of Queensland Trailblazer award for innovative research. I had a long-term partner and was well-respected by family and friends. Life was very successful…

Although my life was successful, there was always a part of me that knew there was more to life than what I was doing. At quieter times I would consider deep questions about life and the meaning of it, but usually I was too busy to really think much about it. However, I was always one to ask questions, and as a child used to ask why? about everything (according to my beautiful father!). I completed three courses in philosophy at university, but these courses fell far short of the answers and meaning to existence that I was craving. But given that my life was already successful, I ignored the quiet voice deep inside me, and hoped that my questions about life would gradually fade away in time and not bother me any more.

It was just before I commenced my PhD that I started to experience pain in my body. I remember practising piano and I felt some weakness in my right forearm. I had never felt this before, and so I decided to take a break from practice for a week. Within this time, I started experiencing mild pain in my right forearm. For a person who had never had an injury before (as I have never broken any bones or even sprained an ankle), this was a new experience. After a few weeks I was surprised to see that this pain remained as a relatively subtle background pain. As it did not seem to be going away with rest, I arranged to attend some sessions with a local physiotherapist. In attending these sessions, I received massage and an exercise program. I adhered to this program and continued to take a break from playing piano. Given the mild nature of the pain symptoms I continued with my other responsibilities including my PhD, working as a violin tutor and performing with the Queensland Youth Symphony Orchestra. I thought with a bit of treatment, my pain would resolve just like any ‘normal’ injury. Little did I realise what was to play out in time…

Over the next three years, my arm pain gradually encompassed my entire right arm and shoulder, and worsened to such an extent that it was horrible all of the time. There was no abating of the pain, it was just chronic and awful all of the time. As a result, I lost about ten kilograms and had to stop many of the things I enjoyed doing, such as playing violin and piano and going out with my friends. I simply could not keep up with my friends any more as even going to see a movie would exacerbate my pain to excruciating levels. The pain became so bad that I ended up being on the disability pension and moved back in to live with my parents for support. My parents were a wonderful support but they felt so helpless. Here was their son who had once had everything going for him, but his life was now turned upside down, and there was nothing they could do to stop this.

Over the three year period, I sought many different treatments, but no one could explain the cause of the pain or the reason why I was not responding to treatment. Being scientifically minded, I sought treatment from a number of medical and allied health professionals. This treatment included regular visits with my GP, attending appointments at the Brisbane Multidisciplinary Pain Clinic, a neurologist, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, a nutritionist and psychologists. I tried many different pain medications to assist with the nerve and muscle pain I was experiencing, including a strong opioid medication, Endone. My diagnoses included thoracic outlet syndrome and fibromyalgia. One treatment involved a number of Botox injections over a period of months to paralyse my chronic muscle tension. However, no amount of medication, stretching, exercises or injections alleviated my pain symptoms significantly at all. Each new treatment that I tried seemed to offer some hope of being successful, however each time it would fail and I would become very frustrated and depressed that I was only able to gain minimal symptom relief for my condition. I knew that somehow the treatment I was receiving was only offering part of the picture and did not encompass the whole.

After many unsuccessful treatments, I considered that maybe all of this pain was in my head (i.e. just conjured up by me), because no one was able to offer me any valid explanation for it. To investigate this possibility, I sought treatment from a number of psychologists and counsellors, but they had no explanation either. As part of my PhD studies, I also had access to the most up-to-date scientific research on chronic pain by the world’s most respected scientific journals. At this point my life involved spending 80% of my time attending to my chronic pain through treatments and research, and 20% of my time completing my PhD. My PhD thesis was child’s play compared to the research I was undertaking on chronic pain.

I also sought treatment from other health disciplines with no results, for example osteopathy, homeopathy, and magnetic therapy. In the end I became open to trying anything that had a shred of scientific evidence or significant anecdotal evidence that it alleviated chronic pain. In some cases, treatment actually exacerbated the pain significantly.

After three years of treatment from a variety of different modalities, I was at a loss. At 25 years of age, I felt devastated by how my life had turned out. At times I felt to give up because the pain was so chronically unbearable. For example, I would brush my teeth in the morning and need to rest afterwards due to the flare up of my pain. And yet, even in this state I knew there was more to life. In other words, I always knew that a life of pain and suffering was not natural, even though my reality was so far from this being true. I remember curling up into a ball on my bed one night crying to myself because the pain was so bad, and feeling that I did not know how much longer I could keep this up. As I was lying there, I just could not imagine living the next 50 years of my life with such pain. However, in the midst of this agony I still felt deep down that somehow life was naturally harmonious, and that there is a way but I had just not found it yet. In essence, even in the dark times I knew that I could not give up on myself as there was more to life than what I was experiencing.

Around this time, I visited my brother Andrew in London. Andrew works as a well-respected physiotherapist and he gave me a few sessions. However, like all the others he too was at a loss as to what was causing my pain or how to treat it. After our sessions, as a last resort he suggested I attend an appointment with Serge Benhayon who practised esoteric healing. I did not know what this was and I had never had any experience with healing modalities in the past.

After some consideration and having tried so many other treatments, I decided to book an appointment with Serge. In my first appointment, Serge presented that the cause of my pain was due to my unresolved anger. He presented that this unresolved anger was congregating in my arm, and that this resulted in the pain symptoms I was experiencing. He mentioned that the key was for me to heal my unresolved anger. When he said this, I knew deep down that he was right, but I certainly did not admit it. Instead, I promptly stated; ‘no-one, not my partner or family members have ever mentioned in my whole life that I have anger’. After all, I had always been a very nice and polite person, and I never yelled or screamed at anyone. So in the session I did not openly agree or disagree with him, and after presenting what he felt, Serge did not try to convince me either.

Over the next few weeks following my session with Serge, I was surprised to find that my anger slowly became obvious to me. Essentially I started to notice that little things did annoy me, and had always annoyed me (even before I developed chronic pain). It did not take long for me to feel that I actually had an underlying sense of anger all the time, even though I never expressed it. These experiences confirmed my original feeling that Serge was indeed correct, and from this realisation I began to ask myself a number of logical questions. For example, how did Serge know I was angry when I never showed any signs or symptoms of the fact? And how did Serge know I was angry when he had only just met me and knew nothing about me? Given I had attended sessions with a number of psychologists and counselors, why had they never mentioned that I had anger issues? And how was it that in all my training as a psychologist and PhD study in Clinical Psychology and Clinical Neuropsychology, I had not been able to resolve my own anger? I had no answer to any of these questions, but I was interested to do some further investigating. After all, despite all of my knowledge about psychology and my experience with many heath professionals, I had been defeated by the mystery of my own chronic pain.

After attending three sessions with Serge, he referred me to Kate Greenaway for ongoing treatment. Kate Greenaway is a well-respected physiotherapist who specialises in craniosacral therapy, and I found her sessions to be very gentle and supportive. My program with Kate also included stretching, exercises and regular exercise. In having sessions with Serge and Kate, I felt for the first time that I was beginning to make real progress at last.

At some point I decided to attend a one-day course presented by Universal Medicine. In this course, a number of uncomfortable topics were presented. For example, the underlying theme of the course was that life is about choice, and that we need to be responsible in our choices on a daily basis. It was presented that life is not about what you do, but about the quality you do everything in. In other words, it was presented that we do many things in emotion or reaction, instead of doing things truly gently and lovingly. Other topics covered included being honest with oneself and all others, and making consistent and daily choices to lovingly support your body.

Given the enormous amount of pain I was still experiencing, I had nothing to lose in experimenting with what was presented by Universal Medicine. After all, by this time I had withdrawn from my PhD studies completely because I could not keep up with the work required. I also ceased working altogether because I felt that I could no longer handle the workload as a violin tutor with my ongoing pain symptoms. The presentation by Universal Medicine had emphasised quality in everything that you do, and so I began to choose to do things gently throughout my day. At first I could not actually feel whether I was doing something gently or not, as it seemed to be an elusive feeling that was just outside my awareness. However, I kept persisting, and after a while I actually felt myself moving gently for the first time since I was a child. I also started to be honest with myself when I reacted to something, for example admitting when I felt angry, frustrated, stressed, or sad. When I felt these things, I gently and honestly identified what was causing the reaction, as opposed to my old pattern of reacting to the issue or ignoring it. As a result, I found that each day gradually became more resolved, and issues did not accumulate into bigger problems as they had done in the past.

Over time, I continued to make further loving lifestyle choices and became more aware of my body. For example, I began to go to bed earlier, but most importantly I consciously chose to go to bed gently and lovingly. Furthermore, in the two hours before I went to bed, I would choose activities that would help me wind down from the day, and not stimulate my nervous system. I found that when I made these choices I had a more restful sleep, resulting in more energy and less pain the next day. In developing greater body awareness, I was also able to feel when I was overdoing things and disregarding my body.

I also started to feel the impact that my diet was having on my body and my pain levels. For example, all my life I had never enjoyed the feeling that I was altered and ‘not myself’ when I drank alcohol. I could now also feel that alcohol devitalised my body and exacerbated my pain. So I decided to stop drinking alcohol altogether (even though I only ever drank socially), and this resulted in a significant reduction in my pain levels and enhancement to my general wellbeing. I felt clearer in my ability to make decisions and I was able to resolve any emotional issues much more easily. As a result of feeling the differences within myself, I have never consumed alcohol ever again. I gradually made other changes in my diet as a result of feeling the effects of certain foods on my body and pain levels.

All the way through, I continued to attend regular appointments with my GP and to consume medication for my pain when needed. At times, if my pain became particularly intense, I would use strapping for support. These treatments were very useful in managing my symptoms in conjunction with the now more responsible choices I was making on a daily basis.

As I gradually made more gentle and self-loving choices for myself, I continued to attend appointments with Kate Greenaway and courses by Universal Medicine. These appointments and courses were a great complement and support to the changes that I was making in my daily life. One day I remember saying to myself ‘I have not felt pain for the past hour’, and that this was the first time I could remember not having pain since before 2004. This experience confirmed to me that what I was now developing for myself was truly working and my body was positively responding. Eventually I stopped taking pain medication altogether because I no longer needed it.

I realised that taking responsibility for the quality of my choices on a daily basis had been the missing piece in my treatment program. In the past, I had never placed emphasis on the actual quality that I did things in. For example, in the past when I walked during the day, I was never consciously aware of the quality that I walked in – I just walked. Usually when I walked I would be thinking about other things, such as what I would be doing on the weekend. Throughout my life, I had also performed regular exercise but never had I intentionally and consciously exercised gently. Instead, I would typically exercise at the end of the day as a form of stress relief. However, I slowly became aware that the quality that we choose for ourselves on a moment-to-moment basis eventually develops the quality of life that one experiences.

After consistently choosing to be gentle and loving with myself and others, my life has changed completely. I feel as though I am true to myself again, and at ease with life rather than angry with it. My relationships with people have changed enormously and deepened as a result of the newfound honesty in them. For example, I have close relationships and regular contact with all my family members. Although some within my family have had difficulty comprehending how my life has improved so much, they have recognised the obvious benefits. As one family member stated ‘I don’t understand what you are doing, but keep it up because it is obviously working’.

I have also not experienced any pain for many years as a result of the lifestyle that I continue to live. My life is simple and enjoyable now, as opposed to the complicated mess and chaos it used to be. In reference to how I used to live, I can now see that there were many warning signs that all was not right prior to my development of chronic pain. However, given that I ignored these signs and just continued it is no wonder why things built up to such an extent.

In relation to employment, I have completed my registration requirements in psychology and am currently working six days per week. I work for one of the largest rehabilitation providers in Australia, as well as continue to tutor violin at a local primary school.

Suffice to say, the lifestyle I now live is very normal. I go to work, tend to my domestic duties, and enjoy great food and company with family and friends. However, the quality that I now do everything in has changed completely. In other words, I now make choices that allow me to feel gentleness, love and joy on a daily basis. Whilst I am still learning and sometimes make mistakes, predominantly my life is very enjoyable and deeply meaningful. In short, life is as it should be, and as it was when I was a young boy. The returning of myself to this most natural way of living has been a development akin to coming home, having strayed off the path for some time.

100 thoughts on “Despite the Odds, Deep Down I Knew There Was More To Life

  1. That inner knowing doesn’t go anywhere it seems – even in the midst of chronic pain and apparent hopelessness – it is still there, that sense of harmony within.

  2. It seems to me that we need to pay a lot more attention to our bodies than we currently do. If we learn to read the communications they offer, we might find the true answers to many of our ills.

  3. To go from experiencing such debilitating pain to not only have no pain, but also a deep commitment to life is a miracle. But not a miracle that is not avail to all, but rather the miracle of how life can be when we live with honestly as our core value.

  4. Theres many stories like this (I also being one of them) of people completely changing their lives and sustaining those changes to living much more joyful and vital lives that ripple out to not just themselves but to all those around them. All from one man. For me it’s living proof of the power we all are capable of.

  5. We make many choices throughout the day, and what I loved about reading your story was that of the quality of our choices and our movements, the quality is the key, because we are often unaware of what we are doing, yet as we become more consciously aware of our movements we realise that the quality makes a huge difference.

  6. Not only we define what is well, we also choose how this is validated. So, we cook the soup we swim in without realizing that something else is being cooked there until that is ready to be served….

  7. If my own experience is anything to go by, I am sure that we all know without any doubt that there is so much more to everything than the temporal world allows us to see. Then we get ground down and disheartened by the ugliness we have made human life to be and we end up checking out of life and giving up. Thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine showing us that we were always right in this knowing and indeed that it is all far more amazing than we could ever imagine.

  8. If only we grew up knowing that unresolved emotions cause problems in the body. We could spare ourselves so much pain! Running with the emotion of anger for so long is like drinking poison each day. Sometimes we just need someone to help point out our unresolved emotions so that we allow ourselves to see it. That’s when the healing can begin.

  9. Life is all about choices, and they compound in the body that we live in… its why our livingness is so important to our health and wellbeing as well as being the epicentre of what we express to our partners, our family, our colleagues and the rest of the world. The choice in each moment, and every moment.

  10. You supported me and many others with a lot of pain. Which you did with so much love, care and understanding that it was the sun in a dark period of my life in which I had two frozen shoulders and was in severe pain for a year. I never forget what you meant to me during this time.

  11. When you wrote about anger underlying every moment in your day, I could relate. People Are still surprised when I tell them that I experience anger because my outside appearance looks more serene. This is a convincing cloak but not if we really tune into how someone is feeling. Serge Benhayon doesn’t hold back the truth or tell you what you want to hear to soften reality, and in doing so he let’s us heal. Your experience of chronic pain and how you healed it is nothing short of incredible and shows the power of our own choices, each and every time.

  12. I started feeling more gentle in my body the minute you started writing about gentleness- and it was a choice for me to not to choose gentleness as much as it was a choice to feel gentleness. I hadn’t even fully realised that I was sitting in hardness up to that point. How simple – that it’s not what we do but how we do it. Who would have thought that the quality in which we do things can heal us.

  13. It was deeply touching to feel the healing and power of the simple energetic reading from Serge. There is certainly much more to life.

  14. What an amazing story – thank you for sharing. I also love the title of this blog – at some level we ALL know there is more to life than what appears on the surface.

  15. It is fascinating how anger can play out in our bodies and can go unrecognised resulting in people living in untreatable pain. It would serve us well to look deeper at our daily choices as the author has in this blog, and then discover that we are not at the mercy of our illness.

    1. Yes and of course the same applies to all such emotions and conditions. There is no judgement in this as everyone carries one thing or another or many others, but there is a huge freedom in becoming aware of these hurts and conditions and healing them. It not only heals us but offers a healing reflection to others too.

  16. Staying with who we truly are as we grow up and engage with the world more and more seems to be the absolute key to maintaining well-being and vitality.

  17. Your story is a miracle living and breathing on the page for anyone to read. Even so, it is available to anyone who wants to really see what is going on with illness and disease as presented by Serge Benhayon.

    1. What Serge Benhayon has gifted us with in his teaching, as a practitioner and as a friend is immeasurable. He makes the impossible simple, and the implausible part of our every day. A very ordinary extraordinary man.

  18. This experience is definitely one for the medical journals as it fills in the gaps that are missing when dealing with illness and disease. Thank you Brendan for walking us through your recovery. From your sharing it is clear the difference it makes when we become aware of the quality we do things in. This drives home the responsibility we all have to be aware of our every thought, word and deed. We cannot drive our body to ground. We need to love and cherish it in everything we do so we can come back from not being love to embracing the love that we are.

  19. It is amazing how the body can generate a pain to stop us from doing something that is harming us. The body knows we have perhaps taken a wrong path and intervenes with a gentle nudge in the form of pain. Instead of embracing it we tend to fight it and just want to get back to the activity that was harming us.

  20. Many people suffer from chronic pain and despite trying everything out there have no resolution, this is a fascinating sharing and an amazing turnaround of your life, in which you helped to heal the root cause of your pain and so completely stop the pain.

  21. A great point Andrew, and yes these emotions are very harmful to our bodies, and equally harmful to those around us. We all have a choice, and a responsibility.

  22. Great link here between anger and being annoyed. I would not have called being annoyed anger until I realised that it felt the same in my body. We tend to believe that these emotions that we experience every day are just normal and cannot be avoided but they all have an impact in the body which can accumulate over time and cause physical illness or problems.

    1. The word “normal” is used in a very strange way these days because it has become normal for many to do things that are very harmful and yet we think that because it is normal that it is ok.

  23. What an amazing testament that you share Brendon to the key component for successful treatment, and a harmonious life in general, is the choice we make of how we live, the quality in which we live and that the choices we make are loving and gentle ones.

  24. “the quality that we choose for ourselves on a moment-to-moment basis eventually develops the quality of life that one experiences.” a beautiful testimonial to Serge Benhayon and his awareness of the energetic cause underlying all our issues and then offering you the opportunity to develop your own awareness and make changes in the way you choose to live to support your own healing.

  25. An extraordinary journey of rehabilitation that really needs to be written about in medical journals, and even the newspapers as there are so many people trapped in pain cycles that have the potential obviously of having great paradigms shifts

  26. Powerfully inspiring Brendan, and I absolutely love this line – “Whilst I am still learning and sometimes make mistakes, predominantly my life is very enjoyable and deeply meaningful.” – particularly life being ‘deeply meaningful’. It helped me to see and appreciate how meaningful my life has become thanks to the changes I have made inspired by Universal Medicine.

  27. A truly remarkable story of healing. It is amazing that once that Serge brought your undealt with anger to your awareness, you began to feel the truth of what you were living and had buried in your body… allowing you the opportunity to address and heal the cause of your pain through living, moving in and embracing a quality that countered it. Incredible.

  28. Dear Brendon,
    I am reading your article tonight and can’t help but get a sense of just how much your sharing could support many people. Just simply introducing that the quality we choose to move in holds so much power, let alone food and drink choices, is ground breaking for many. Even though, as you share, it is a known, as it is how we lived as children. A known, that with dedication, we can retrain our bodies and change our lives.

  29. “I now make choices that allow me to feel gentleness, love and joy on a daily basis.” This sentence on its own is so simple and makes me realise that we all do the opposite most of our lives. Serge Benhayon inspires us all to make self-loving choices as the best medicine to heal the hurts and hidden emotions that harm our body.

  30. Brendan, most people with chronic pain lead the most miserable lives on pain killers and in a state of given up. Your journey is an incredible testament to the world that these simple changes, quality choices and living gently transformed your life. This blog could be submitted to newsletters for people suffering from chronic pain it would be life changing for them. Have you ever though of writing a book about it for people suffering from it?

    1. Great sharing Brendan and I agree with Irena your story should be presented to others who are suffering from chronic pain

  31. This is very beautiful and powerful Brendan. I work everyday with people with chronic pain and making different lifestyle choices is something that the vast majority struggle with, they cannot see past the pain they experience and a stuck in the cycle of ongoing deterioration of their condition and the pain too, with more and more analgesia needed over time. Your story is a rare one, but shows the absolute power we have in our own choices and much more than simply diet and exercise, but the quality of how we are in all that we do. What a blessing for you that you came across Serge Benhayon and a blessing for all that you are able to share your remarkable story. Thank you.

  32. Thankyou for sharing your story of your life with chronic pain and how beautifully it has resolved as you made different life-style choices and dealt with your underlying (hidden) anger issues. How many of us have lived a ‘nice good’ life, to the detriment of a true life? All along you knew deep inside there was more. The “quality that I now do everything in has changed completely. In other words, I now make choices that allow me to feel gentleness, love and joy on a daily basis.” Inspiring.

  33. This is such an inspiring account Brendan of a life of daily chronic pain to now no pain and a joyful normal life. So beautiful to read that you never gave up, you knew deep inside that there is a true way to live, how awesome to know you have that inner guidance and love within and with the support of Serge Benhayon and other Universal Medicine practitioners you were able to let go of the hurt and anger from your body and return home to you – wonderful!!

  34. You are living proof that connecting to your gentleness and making loving choices in your life can support your body and even heal it. Anger in the body is very debilitating and the body suffers greatly from it.

  35. Brendan this story is remarkable and should be known to everyone who treats chronic pain. How difficult would it be to incorporate moving gently into people’s treatment regimens? The benefits would be huge, and the cost very little. In a day and age where we (the medical profession) are so at a loss to the chronic pain syndromes that abound, it is time we allowed looking deeper and further to what can assist. You have the key here Brendan, or one of them at the very least. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Watching someone who has chronic pain move is almost painful to watch. Asking someone to move gently is a real eye opener, it like they take a breath that they have been holding onto for a long time.

  36. Should anyone ever need to know about the benefits and support that our lifestyle choices can bring they only need to read this blog! Thank you Brendan.

  37. Thank you Brendan for sharing your story. I felt like I was reading it for the first time. I love how you chose to be gentle with yourself and persisted in this way of being so that overtime everything in you changed. This is a great reminder for me to continually deepen the quality in which I do anything and everything all the time.

  38. Brendon your story and subsequent healing is amazing and shows what happens when we take full responsibilty for our choices and how we live. The combination of complementary and conventional medicine and personal responsibility is very powerful.

  39. I always liked the fact that I am a determined person but in the past preferred not to see that this was a often a false front for pride and stubbornness which was helping me to avoid looking deeper at what was going on. Since attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops I am getting to now see more clearly what these pockets of ignorance and irresponsibility represent and how they play out in my life. As I gain new levels of awareness I am sometimes daunted by the changes that are required but the amazing thing I have found is that, as difficult as this may seem initially, once I commit myself, I invariably find support comes to help me along. Awesome!

  40. ‘I ignored the quiet voice deep inside me,’ I too have done this and am finding that by listening to it, it has so much wisdom to share with me. Only recently, I have listened to something that I have been ignoring and am finding that life and opportunities are opening up like I never imagined.

  41. What an incredible blog. I’ve returned to read this again and I was completely riveted by your story. For me the quote: “However, I slowly became aware that the quality that we choose for ourselves on a moment-to-moment basis eventually develops the quality of life that one experiences.” really stood out. This has given me deeper understanding of my choices and what quality truly means, especially for my own life.

    1. The concept of our ‘quality’ is not one that is commonly known or looked at by humanity as a whole, let alone its importance. We all do know the importance of it though, and it is a feeling we are all too familiar with when something is not of the quality we are ultimately deserving. In our societies however, it is this ‘not so great’ quality that has become the norm, as opposed to the loving and nurturing quality that is the alternative. Choosing this loving quality more day by day allows more people to feel it is possible, and that we don’t need to compromise on the quality we know that truly honours us.

  42. Thanks for sharing your story Brendan. Its amazing to hear how our unresolved issues such as anger, in your case, can have such ramifications to the health and wellbeing of our physical bodies. By changing our life style/ patterns and observing ourselves when we get emotional it’s amazing how the health and vitality of the body changes.

  43. It was really beautiful and confirming to read your story Brendan as I could feel the truth in what you shared, that it is the quality in which we live that has a huge impact on the life we lead. While I too am not perfect in this, I do find that choosing to be more conscious of my patterns and choices and the way in which I go about doing them does make a difference. Thank you for sharing your life affirming story, it was a real joy to read.

  44. Brendan, I loved how you shared ‘At quieter times I would consider deep questions about life and the meaning of it, but usually I was too busy to really think much about it’. Indeed it is the stillness of these quiet times that gives us the clarity about how we are truly feeling and a connection to our own innate qualities. This connection also opens us up to the possibility of what we can do to live in a different way that is simpler, and more supportive and caring of ourselves and others. However, with the hustle and bustle and pressure that we all feel in this day and age, we rarely stop unless we are forced to. Like your experience Brendan it often takes an illness some sort of a catastrophe to force us stop and as you found it can be quite unpleasant, challenging and uncomfortable to experience…. Why wait for the catastrophe when we can start caring for ourselves now? Your blog was very inspiring to read Brendan, thank you for sharing so honestly.

    1. Thank you Brendan and Suse. What a great inspiration your blog is Brendan. Exactly, why wait? Humanity is looking for answers to their health problems and society need look no further because of the revelations of Universal Medicine! Serge Benhayon and the Students of Universal Medicine are already amazing examples of what a self-loving lifestyle offers.

  45. I really appreciate you sharing your story with us.
    I love your observations that there is a simple and natural way to live life, and I couldn’t agree more!
    Thank You, Brendan.

  46. Before attending Universal Medicine courses I would never have considered that taking responsibility for your quality of being could have such a profound influence on your life and your healing. Thank you for sharing your amazing story, Brendan.

  47. Brendan your story is truly inspiring, and a great example of how the esoteric modalities can so beautifully complement medicine. It is empowering to read that by being just that bit open to hearing what Serge Benhayon offered, and then observing and seeing if and how it played out in your life, your understanding of the underlying emotional cause of your symptoms and willingness to make adjustments to your way of being in the world have not only relieved the symptoms but healed the condition.

  48. Thanks for sharing your wonderful ‘homecoming to yourself’ Brendan. What a miracle that so much pain could dissolve away because of becoming aware of and making gentle choices, where everything else had failed.

  49. Wow what an extraordinary story, I can’t even imagine living with chronic pain like that. Your appreciation of the simple yet profound truth of what Serge offered you after having searched through so many other professional modalities must be immense. I found this deeply healing to read and absolutely loved what you wrote about ‘the quality that we choose for ourselves on a moment-to-moment basis eventually develops the quality of life that one experiences.’ A beautiful reminder of the power of our choices, thank you.

  50. An amazing story Brendon. Truly inspirational to read how you reduced, and eventually eliminated, the chronic pain you were experiencing by coming back to yourself, doing things in a loving and more gentle way that were honouring of your body.

  51. Thank you Brendon for your honest and inspiring blogg. I have become aware that in the eyes of the world, ticking all the boxes regarding how we look and present, work and parent with the focus on what others expect is just ‘smoke and mirrors’. There is a deeper way of being that can be felt as true, and although it might not present as what others expect it supports the ‘whole’ of our being to be in true health. The body speaks very loudly with a wisdom far beyond the intelligence of the world. I know where I want my choices to come from and am learning to listen. Deepening self love is the way to go.

  52. Brendan,this is gold. What I found really amazing is once you understand the reason why this is happening and you accept that it makes sense, there is an instant clarity and a clear increase in your awareness and capacity to read what is going on. It is a bit like finding the remains of an old civilisation and trying to understand what the symbols they use stand for and suddenly getting it. Then a new whole world opens up before your eyes.

  53. Thank you, Brendan. Reading your blog makes me realise how I sometimes run my body in disregard and expect it to deal with the consequences, while all that the body is asking for is just to be loving.

  54. “It was presented that life is not about what you do, but about the quality you do everything in.”
    Brendan this story is an awesome example of how we can take responsibility for our lives and then watch the Magic unfold. ✨

  55. Many organisations can report unusual healings, even miracles. With Universal Medicine there are a lot of them and, interestingly, a big part of Brendan’s healing was done by himself. The patient might be an underrated resource in medicine.

    1. I love what you say here Christoph about the patient being an “underrated resource in medicine.” You have hit the nail on the head here. Medicine is hugely important but so are we our own medicine. Until we really understand this, the cycle of ill health and the expense of ill health will continue to rise.

  56. Thanks for sharing your journey back to health Brendan… along with many other parts of the blog, I was particularly struck with your comment that as a result of the changes you made to your life “I found that each day gradually became more resolved, and issues did not accumulate into bigger problems as they had done in the past.” You have given us a significant roadmap here to resolving aspects of life that do not serve.

  57. Brendan, it has been very inspiring to read of your perseverance on your journey to find your true self. thank you for sharing.

  58. Thank you, Brendan for your post. I know the suffering of chronic pain with lower back and shoulder pain and in the past I have tried everything and anything to relieve it and to have some sort of normal life, but then like you I found Universal Medicine, who have helped me not only with the physical pains but with how I look at life.

  59. Thank you so much Brendan for sharing your inspirational story. I suffered for many years with chronic lower back pain which I eventually realised was due to unresolved emotions but it was only when I found Universal Medicine that I was given tools to deal with these and I can really relate to your last sentence ‘The returning of myself to this most natural way of living has been a development akin to coming home, having strayed off the path for some time.’

  60. What an amazing journey and such inspirational life story Brendan. I loved reading it – thank you very much for sharing this publicly.
    I remember many of my own dark moments when I too did not give up on myself and feeling the knowing that there was more to life than what I was going through which took me to the point of seeing Serge Benhayon. Then the tables turned and the knowing that life was bigger and greater just got confirmed.

  61. My mind would say what you have done is not possible – to go from debilitating pain to a full recovery by choosing to deal with your emotions and be more gentle in how you live. But deep down in know that not only is it plausible it is also the truth. The way we are with ourselves every day has the power to harm or heal. So when offered the choice to be a different way in life no wonder you seized it with both hands and all your heart.

  62. Thanks you Brendan – chronic pain can be so debilitating for many people who often like yourself try all sorts of things to resolve it. Your journey shows that there can be ways to heal chronic pain and is inspiring to hear and I’m sure would help others in that position to know there are things they can do to help themselves.

  63. How beautifully expressed Brendan. It is inspiring to hear how being aware of the quality of the way we do things in everyday life, and how choosing to go about our daily life with more gentleness and in a loving quality, can bring about such profound and deep changes to the quality and our experience of life. It is also beautiful to hear a man be so honest, and to trust and know that what you felt as a child was true, and that you knew there was a different way of living and being which has allowed you to be the beautiful gentle man that you naturally are.

  64. Really enjoyed reading your article Brendan – what an amazing journey of self-discovery away from debilitating chronic pain towards the pain-free and natural you. Inspiring read, thank you.

  65. Brendan, this is awesomely expressed, thank you. It resonates with me, and my own ‘returning to myself’ which is ongoing. I love your expression “The returning of myself to this most natural way of living has been a development akin to coming home, having strayed off the path for some time” … and how amazing that this natural way of being was always in our back pockets/at the end of our noses.

  66. What a blessing your pain turned out to be. It woke you up to heal yourself and now you are sharing your gorgeous self and inspiring so many others through your work, story and everyday way of being.

  67. Brendan I had tears of joy reading this. To feel how you never gave up on who you were and the knowing that there was more to life, even when faced with huge challenges. Welcome home and enjoy the freedom and love that is now with you every day.

  68. This account of recognising, then overcoming deeply buried anger to recover from such levels of pain is truly powerful and very inspirational. What a turnaround in your life, Brendon!

    1. I second that. during the time I was reading this article I was like ‘wow you had everything and without the chronic pain I couldn’t imagine where you would be today.’

    2. I really agree Judith. There are many people across the world who experience immense chronic pain and it is the established view that there is nothing that can be done bar pain management through medication. Brendan’s story shows that there is another medicine of self-love that can be applied.

      1. It is very true Shevon in what you say, but self-love is a long way from where anyone with chronic pain is at. They often really hate their body and what they have to experience, and as you say they often hear “You just have to live with it” type of comments. What I love about what Brendan has shared is that he gradually peeled away the layers of helplessness and took full responsibility for every way in which he was (and is) living. This is not an easy ask by any stretch for anyone, let alone someone with ongoing pain, but shows what a very deep level of commitment can bring to anyone’s life.

  69. Having read this I feel like I have walked with you. Thank you for sharing all the moments you had, all the ‘little’ steps you took to get to this simple and clearly beautiful day to day.

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