by Nico van Haastrecht, Warnsveld, The Netherlands
In 2006 I was presented with the Gentle Breath Meditation at a workshop with Chris James. At that time I was involved in several new age movements/modalities such as yoga, Steiner schools and a guru, and I visited ayahuasca (ayawaska) ceremonies – all in order to better my life, which I was not content with. I was missing the essence of life but could not grasp it at that time. I was desperately trying everything presented to me without first discerning where it came from.
Along with the gentle breath meditation, I started to read Serge Benhayon’s book ‘The Way It Is’. I felt a very strong connection with all that was presented by the book, it was like an “I know that” from deep within. Through reading the book and doing the gentle breath meditation, slowly, slowly I came into more connection with myself and allowed myself to feel what I felt.
The beginning was not easy because my wife started to react as I was providing her my love instead of fulfilling her needs, and for me there was no other way of being. I had my truth that I had to honour, and that for me was more precious than a relationship built on needs. She started to blame me for being selfish, not contributing etc. and I let her, accepting and appreciating who she was. Inspired by the way I was living my life, after about nine months she too started reading Serge’s book and listening to the audio presentations from Universal Medicine. I did not persuade her in any way but just inspired her by my way of living.
Later on our children also started to become more connected with their truth, which was not always easy because it required them to be honest with themselves, and to acknowledge the things they might have felt at the time but did not act on. It was also confronting to me as a parent, because I had told them, explicitly or implicitly, to do what I wanted them to do in exchange for my love and support.
After a few years I went to Serge Benhayon’s workshops in the UK where I learnt how it is to be in connection with a group of people living and expressing the same truth. The joy that that brings is amazing, since it unifies us as human beings. Instead of looking to another person’s skills and capabilities out of comparison, I could enjoy all the different aspects of human expression from other people that show us we are all important members of humanity. I do matter, and it is important that I am aware of that!
My life has improved considerably from where I started. I now enjoy life and feel a true purpose to it, instead of living towards goals that never, ever gave me true fulfilment when I met them. My life has become simpler, which for me as an engineer was, and is, challenging – as engineers we are expected to provide logical and complex solutions to the presented issues in life.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“I now enjoy life and feel a true purpose to it, instead of living towards goals that never, ever gave me true fulfilment when I met them.” What you have shared is something more people should life like therefore your words are very inspiring to do so!
Many relationships are based on needs, and so ultimately feel horrible; and when those ‘needs’ start being taken away it can be challenging, ‘I had my truth that I had to honour, and that for me was more precious than a relationship built on needs.’
For thousands of people who have attended the presentations, workshops of Serge Benhayon there is a feeling that happens the body responds or wakes up and slowly this connection back to the knowing from our bodies builds so that we just know and that knowing cannot be taken away, it just is. Some people may decide that the presentations are not for them and these people freely choose to walk away but they have within them the essence of who they truly are and where they come from as we all do, as we are all the same there is absolutely no difference between us. What we have done however is to muddy the water by introducing nationalities, borders, language etc., so that it looks on the surface that we are separate from each other. This is just a game by our Etheric spirit to stay in the creation it has invested in.
And not to forget in this game of the spirit, race, religion, intelligence, all outer marks which are in fact all the results from us separating from our true origin first.
Yes, we always have a choice, if the presentations are not for you simply walk away as you would with anything else in your life, ‘ Some people may decide that the presentations are not for them and these people freely choose to walk away’.
I love the counterpoint here… gentle breath meditation is both so simple and incredibly profound. For me it subtly alters perception and ever so gently brings me back to just here and now. And then you compare that to say Ayahuasca which feels a bit like throwing a brick through the window of our perception, and then having to pick up the pieces at the end of it (as our bodies have to process what ever we have just done to them). Seems like a simple decision but isn’t that always the way with the benefit of hindsight.
Beautiful sharing Nico of the ripple effect of living truth.
We are so used to life being complex and a struggle, and when encountered with truth and simplicity, we react because complexity gives us something to hold onto. Saying yes to simplicity and starting to live its way is so liberating.
I love the difference that people including myself describe as ‘I know that’ instead of what we are mostly offered for self-development, which is more like ‘I want to know that, be able to do that’ etc. There is still a striving for something more and not recognising the more is always within you.
Beautiful Nico, it totally shows that it is worth taking authority of your own life by energetic integrity and awareness. I love that !
When we give ourselves permission to connect to the truth life changes it has to because by accepting the truth the lies that we have lived by stand out like a sore thumb. And for some people this is too much they don’t want to be exposed, for me that’s fine live the life you want to live.
Thank you Nico. For without our expression of love, we fulfill needs that eventually leaves a gap of what we truly want in life – love.
Often times what we do in the name of bettering our life is to batter it.
Nico I too explored many things around spirituality, The New Age, healing, religion, and personal development because I could feel something was missing and life as it was also didn’t make sense. I honestly was in the verge of giving up as after decades of searching, trying things, and doing what I could to support and heal myself I really felt that not only had nothing truly changed long term I was actually worse in some respects, including financially. This created a sense of distrust because I was faced with the fact that so much on offer doesn’t deliver. I decided that Universal Medicine was the final option for me and if it didn’t work I would not try anything further because it had hurt me to realise that even though I knew there was more to life no one had the answers or could offer true support. That was back in 2012 but I realised within 5 minutes of hearing Serge talk I was hearing the truth from a very gentle man – it was an astonishing realisation and I could feel his transparency even then. He was a very different presenter to anyone else I had listened to, very loving, not there for self or invested in the information. Also, the healing I experienced at this workshop of Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 1 was different to anything I had previously tried, the quality of energy was pure and I now realise that was because it was coming from my own soul, and the healing has been lasting, not a temporary relief with the problem or trauma reappearing later. There is so much more I could say including how supportive the Gentle Breath Meditation is and also for me Esoteric Yoga, but for now what I can share is Serge and Universal Medicine are definitely the real deal and a tremendous true support for humanity.
Thank you Nico for sharing how you stayed true to yourself and allowed your family their reactions, continually loving them and how that and your steadiness provided inspiration.
Yes Richard, life is so simple if we just say yes or no to the choices we are faced with on a moment by moment basis. The complexity comes when we start to doubt and actually are fighting ourselves because we do know what to choose from our inner most but from our mind are trying to control it.
Life at times can become so complicated because we are stuck in the creation of it and how different this is if we keep life simple and be in co-creation with it.
When we allow ourselves to feel that we are all from the same source, no matter the color of our skin, our social background, our nationality, our culture and language, how we have been educated and such we also can feel we are all the same and that it is actually abusive to ourselves and others to make ourselves less than that by e.g. holding on to a lack of self worth or making yourself special because of the above.
Understanding that to be less than who we truly are is an indulgence and abusive not only to ourselves but also others is a game-changer.
So true, we think it is ok to perform lesser than we can but in truth. The world is crying as it shows us the misery we have created by this indulgence in this playing less in our avoidance not live the fullness that we are.
Yes to build a life based on truth and trusting of your feelings shows us that there is another way that brings joy and absolute fulfillment from inside out.
It can be fascinating to observe how your children can be completely different people from yourself with a long history of their own. There are similarities but sometimes the differences can go very deep.
Yes Christoph, sometimes there are similarities in behavior, but when you look a little bit deeper you can notice that we all have different qualities that all are to be appreciated for the grandness and the blessing these bring for us all. Life would be very boring if we would be a clone of one person and with that would all act, think and express exactlythe same.
I found the Esoteric Gentle Breath Meditation a great start to reconnect with my body and especially when I started feeling the in and out breath all the way from the tip of my nose to my lungs and back out, I started to realise that there was a lot I could feel if I stopped and allowed my connection to reawaken itself.
I love the gentle breath meditation it is so simple and harmless for the body, a real connecting tool for every day life.
When we suffer from a huge lack of self-worth and a very limited and poor way of relating to ourselves, in search of life, we discount ourselves. It is a whole pattern of movement.
I love how simple you’ve shared how you changed how you lived, didn’t push or impose but stuck by yourself and allowed others their space and time.
It is really humbling Leigh, to reconnect to that what we know has always been there. an amazing beholding love that allows people to make their own choices in the knowing that we are all one and in time will be gathered as one again.
Humbling and upsetting at times and others also empowering to feel that there is something amazing inside us that hasn’t gone anywhere.
That is good to read Leigh. At times we might feel so lost in life but it is always great to remember that we are that amazing inside which does not go anywhere, whatever we do in life. Even the greatest criminals do have that connection they too can always return to. God does not judge, that is only a human thing, but instead he beholds everybody equal in the stupendous love he is.
The power is shared when we claim our living light (source of energy that we are from). That is our love, our truth, our harmonious way of living.
“I now enjoy life and feel a true purpose to it, instead of living towards goals that never, ever gave me true fulfilment when I met them.” Not so many people are able to say that from themselves Nico. It is very inspiring to read that it is possible to change life in such a wonderful way.
Thank you for sharing Nico. What touched me most in your blog is when you describe how your wife started to react when you provided her with your love instead of fulfilling her needs. We get so confused about what love truly is that we mistake getting our needs fulfilled for being loved.
Yes, often the reaction gets stronger and it can be due to both or either being in reaction.
This seems to be a very natural journey you did Nico, in which you came back to your essence and claim the truth you feel. Living in this way is a very worthy way of living that I’m also experiencing and great changes is bringing to my life too. Thanks for sharing it with all.
Feeling and observing the knock on affect of choosing ones love is very profound. Could this be how one can change the world?
Beautiful, Nico, tangible and ready to understand that we need to claim our true way of living back.. Even if it is uncomfortable at times, it serves us way better than being in the denial of our own truth. By truth I mean that which is felt in one’s heart, a love that is not constricted by ideals and believes but open to love other all equally. In whatever way we express that love — as long as it is helping others to rise their love and not decrease it.
When we heal and begin to transform our daily lives and let go of behaviours that are not so loving it can make others around us uncomfortable because they are comfortable and used to us being and behaving in a certain way. Yes they may react, but the more we hold steady with what is true the less it will destabilize us.
When we provide someone with love instead of fulfilling their needs, there can be quite an adjustment.
Living a life of purpose has become a way of life for me also. I learned recently we can rest with purpose. This was an a ha moment for me.
Having purpose in life is something that is more precious to me than almost anything I can think of. To know there is a reason to awaken each day and be out in the world is the all.
When I picked up ‘The Way it Is’ it was the best thing ever. I had struggled with reading my whole life but to me this book was presenting something that I totally related to and it made sense. Like you Nico once I had introduced a steady rythym with my Gentle Breath Meditation this connection with myself began to flourish. I am deeply thankful for Serge Benhayon and his teachings that Gold like no other.
The truth about Serge Benhayon is that there is a love inside every single person and that it is for each and every single one of us to claim back the love in our way of living on this plane of life. Until we are complete within this cycle and are ready to move to the next.. One of even greater awareness and space.
What an amazing way to share life and evolve together – you and your family. No imposition, just simple reflection of truth being lived, as you say “I had my truth that I had to honour, and that for me was more precious than a relationship built on needs.” Very inspiring.
I really love reading: ” allowed myself to feel what I felt”. This has been and still is a very large part of re-connecting back to myself, offering myself permission with deep love and honouring that it’s ok to feel. It requires honesty to let go of the protections that seemed necessary at the time to not feel. But this is being revealed as one of the greatest tricks and illusions of humanity. Presentations by Universal Medicine are absolute gems in shedding light on the twist and turns that take us away from our essence and how we can simply return.
At any time we can change our way of living and set standards about how we want to live in this world. When we do this a whole new world opens up before us.
Love this simple statement Elizabeth – when we start identifying our own standards the whole approach to life changes.
The gentle breath meditation is the best and the most simplest thing that brings me back to me. It is so easy to do, takes a few minutes and doesn’t require any equipment – all I can say is thank you Serge Benhayon for presenting it to us.
We don’t ever need to convince anyone of anything. The way we live communicates everything.
Living with purpose is like shining a bright light on the shadows, and then stepping into that light without ever once being concerned about how brightly you will now shine.
When we start taking care of ourselves it is challenging for a world where putting everything and everyone before yourself is a living act.
There are certainly times in life when we chase answers or ask for reasons why things are playing out like they do. I was ‘happy’ in life you could say, had many things, married, kids, home, cars, friends, work etc etc but something still wasn’t right. No matter what I did, got or achieved I still felt this lonely, empty feeling inside. I didn’t like how it felt and yet could never really find a way to rid myself of that feeling. It seemed no matter what I did, it would never be satisfied. Universal Medicine gave me a point to be able to see this ’empty feeling’, understand it, work with it and now heal it. This feeling came from how I lived, how I was doing things, was adding to this feeling and so all I needed to do was make changes to the way I lived and pretty soon that feeling changed as well. It was the single most powerful thing anyone could have bought back to me, if I wanted something to change in me then the way I was, the quality I was needed to change and through this everything else came into line.
When we begin to be honest with the discontent we feel in our lives we then are to be honest with what feels true and what does not, with what truly fulfills us and what hinders us from being fulfilled. I also had the same feeling the first time I was presented with the Ageless Wisdom Teachings through a session at Universal Medicine. I had reached a point where my discontent was now affecting me physically and I knew that there was more to life than what I was living. Through that session I was able to connect to a quality within me that I knew was everything that I had been searching for in life, connection to me. From this point my life, health and well-being began to change for the greater, and my relationships have equally become more loving, honest and real, which continues today.
“I had my truth that I had to honour, and that for me was more precious than a relationship built on needs.” This line is gold and says so much.
Yes Nico without living from a connection to our essence life is empty and has no true purpose.
We sometimes worry that when we make a change, others will reject and leave us. In your example Nico, you just held steady and didn’t try and persuade or change anyone, but simply led by example and your family could not help but align to the new loving way you were presenting.
I always struggled with the gentle breath meditation. But what I realised early on was that it was not the technique that was the problem, but rather that it made me register just how agitated I was in my everyday life.
I can relate Adam, and soon came to appreciate the marker that was offered through The Gentle Breath Meditation. With this I could feel the choices I was making, and what I was accepting as ‘OK’ in my life was no longer ‘OK’. As the truth was, the restlessness was still very present regardless of how I had been trying to cover it up through the lifestyle choices I was making.
In rereading this blog after some years of publishing it it is still relevant and proves to me that it is all about that connection with our inner most where the truth can be found. The more I connect to that and allow myself to make choices based on the impulses of my inner heart instead of from the rational mind my life is changing to the better and has becomes a celebration of life compared to the dread I felt to it before I made the choice to live with this connection with my innermost.
I used to think ‘fulfilling others’ needs’ was love. Getting to reacquaint myself with true love, remembering I was love has changed everything about the way I experience life as well. Life is no longer something I fight against.
To make the choice to ‘love’ means change from illusion and control to simplicity and truth, and it is inevitable that this has a flow-on effect to those around us and to ourselves because of the past choices we have made.
This is a beautiful turn around of your life Nico, and very inspiring how you inspired your family to likewise embrace a loving life.
What you have expressed in this blog Nico is very beautiful and inspirational; I love how you enjoy life and have found true purpose in it.
It is a step by step process to claim back what we know is true and live it and it is at times a bumpy road as well as there is a lot of baggage to get rid of that is not needed anymore.
This is beautiful Nico and a great reminder for us all ‘ I did not persuade her in any way but just inspired her by my way of living.’ Our lived ways are far more powerful to another than speaking any knowledge.
It is so freeing to allow myself to live being impulsed by my inner heart instead of trying to comply to the concepts from the mind. It not only makes life so much simpler, but when I feel into my body I do recognise it to be not hard and tense due to the stress complexity brings anymore, but very sensitive, delicate and tender instead.
Thank you Doug, it is sometimes in the complexity and in the not relevant details that we loose that connection with the whole and in fact use these to try to avoid to see the simplicity the whole is bringing to us.
Yes, finding the underlying structure of anything feels very joyful!
Simplicity is so much smarter than complication! Loving people for who they are is something we need to see in action because we are not taught this as the norm. “I had told them, explicitly or implicitly, to do what I wanted them to do in exchange for my love and support.” I see this over and over and it goes unnoticed because it is what we all subscribe to. Go figure!
When we start to make more loving choices for ourselves our relationships with those close to us and around start to get challenged. People start to react to the love we are being and reflecting and what I noticed if I stayed steady the reactions faded out and they started to make changes themselves. I did not have to say anything, just continue to be loving with myself and my choices.
True fulfilment in life comes from living the fullness of who we truly are and not striving to achieve recognition based on some outer fed ideal or belief of how we should be or how life should look. It is gorgeous to read how you and your family have returned to a truer way to be Nico. It is only by living this that we get to see how simple life can be lived when we do not bring in the complexity that seeks to override such truth.
I am lost when I am disconnected and not being open and honest with my feelings.
Thank you Nico, what an amazing turnaround. I am amazed by the way you inspired your family. This cannot be done through imposition. Only love can inspire another to choose love for themselves.
It can be very difficult when we stop providing for the emotional needs in a relationship. We have to deepen the love and care we have for ourselves in order to stand up for the truth in love for another. They may react and all the while it is our steadiness and consistency that count. I have much to learn here and find your blog supporting me at a very basic level. Thank you Nico.
Taking out the complexity and introducing a natural simplicity to life has changed my life dramatically too. I am no longer goal oriented – and if I do for whatever reason feel it sneaking back in, I can step back and observe it, noting how it really has no place in the flow of life.
“…I learnt how it is to be in connection with a group of people living and expressing the same truth. The joy that that brings is amazing, since it unifies us as human beings.” I understand how you feel Nico, I am living with a group of people who I learn from every day, who are living and expressing the same truth as me, this brings a lot of opportunities to learn and grow from each other always.
Very cool. To find simplicity in complicated situations. I wonder sometimes if it is us who make things complicated, particularly relationships.
It is beautiful to come to a place where you can let go of comparison and truly appreciate the many varied expressions of people and their importance in society, regardless of what they do and more so as an expression of who they are… embracing that and nothing less.
The key in life is to keep things simple, as I have learned that the more complex things get the more it shows how resistant I have been with myself and what I feel (denying it most of the time!). So it is beautiful to come back to simplicity and then feel yourself and the world.. Even though those feelings that rise up might be uncomfortable. Thank you Nico for sharing how you have claimed your Way of Living.
Well said Doug. Playing less of what the truth is and who God is, is actually selling yourself short, simply because we are from the same source.
Our relationships – often with those closest – can surely be challenged, when any party goes through inner changes. Societally, we have been strongly programmed, if you will, to base our core relationships upon emotional need, as you’ve shared Nico. When one party starts to recognise and release these needs, dynamics change, ‘same old’ ways of being can be disrupted, and there can indeed be some reaction… Yet openness, honesty and true acceptance can pave the way to relationships founded in truth. There is most definitely a way to live together with each other where we hold back nought in being all that we are, and let go the plethora of dependencies we have been ‘taught’ are ‘normal’ – when really, they only hold us back…
Thank-you for sharing what you have here.
. Simplicity in life – surely this has been sought, in its true essence, throughout our human history, and lived in truth by very few. This is no small thing at all, reflective of transformation and letting go of attachments in life at such deep levels. What an awesome thing to truly celebrate Nico.
Hats off to you Nico for sticking to what you felt was true.
“…I learnt how it is to be in connection with a group of people living and expressing the same truth. The joy that that brings is amazing, since it unifies us as human beings.”
I agree Nico, it is a very beautiful and joyful experience when people truly work together and seek harmony with each other – it is our true way forward to a healthy, balanced and productive way of life.
When life is a pursuit, we can miss what is right in front of our noses – or in fact right within our hearts. What if all that we could ever wish for is already within us? What need would we have for goals, dreams and desires then?
Gosh this line describes many a relationship – “It was also confronting to me as a parent, because I had told them, explicitly or implicitly, to do what I wanted them to do in exchange for my love and support.”
I know… control is a poor substitute for connection.
Love that one: “I do matter, and it is important that I am aware of that!”
It is what we are longing for and what we are avoiding at the same time. I count and it is on me to live in a way that others can count on me. …by and by I discover how joyful this is.
Great to read Nico. It can be very challenging for us and our surroundings to bring a change into life. Of course we’ve managed it before in a way and this way is familiar and did create a form of comfort. Even we are unhappy – it is in a way ‘safe’ to be like that because we know it and we know what will come out of our actions. With the Way of the Livingness and as a student of it, we do not know what will come up next because there is no control in it and so…we will see. That let my spirit freak out, but my body loves it. I and my life get space again and there is more room to breath my own breath and not a one loaded with stress and pushing tension. Lovely to live in a way that others get inspired to drop their angst, fear and guard and open up again for a responsible life.
I believe most of us can relate to this Nico “I was missing the essence of life but could not grasp it at that time. I was desperately trying everything presented to me without first discerning where it came from.” As in the words of the song Amazing Grace “I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see.”
This is an inspiring testimony to the Gentle Breath Meditation and the work and presentations of Universal Medicine clearly demonstrating the ripple affect this can have on our family and friends when we live the teachings. It is also a testimony to you Nico and to your ability to put these teachings into practice.
It’s inspirational to feel the simplicity with which you made the changes to connect to your essence, finding your true purpose in life, that gave you back to a simpler way of being. I understand the family wanting to be aligned to a living reflection of Love.
Thank you Nico for a simply beautiful blog showing to us the power of connection to your inner heart and its healing effects of love on your family members.. Simplicity is clear, complexity is muddied.
Nico so beautiful reading this and feeling how you held your family in love while they also found their way back to the truth of who they are.
Nico you let us feel with your amazing blog that live can be very simple and easy if we are connected to ourselves. This is very inspirational and is an invitation to have a look inside and to stop to try to find a solution outside.
Thanks Nico, there is much intelligence and wisdom in simplicity
Finding the ‘missing link’ is so true Nico.The constant search and then realising it all comes back to living life with such simplicity and the volume that others receive is priceless as a result.
Thank you for sharing this blog with us Nico. It is so lovely to read how you simply inspired your family to embrace love and truth by you first living this yourself. ‘The beginning was not easy because my wife started to react as I was providing her my love instead of fulfilling her needs’ I am inspired that you didn’t react to your wives reactions but simply stayed steady in living with more love and truth inspiring others along the way
Great to read your blog Nico, I appreciated your honesty as a parent relating to your kids and expecting them “to do what I wanted them to do in exchange for my love and support.” I can see that this form of manipulation can be part of any kind of relationship where we bargain for what we want instead of simply sharing the love that we are.
A very honest account of the difference between needy love and true love. Feels uncomfortable at first as we transition, but then it opens us up to relationships that are based on equality without need. Pretty cool.
Truly amazing the affect one will have on others when they simple connect to themselves and truth Nico. For your family to feel the changes you made for yourself and be inspired by them is headline news.
Beautiful, your dedication and commitment has inspired others. It’s not about changing others, it’s about changing ourselves and it’s through our reflections others are inspired, just like you said your family was inspired by you.
I like what you say about your life becoming simpler. Mine has too. Not in an ascetic, abstemious way, but away from the complexity we create around ourselves in the pursuit of life as we think it should be and strive for it to be. When we drop the need for all that, life is clearer, less racy, more self-supporting and far more intrinsically rewarding.
“I felt a very strong connection with all that was presented by the book, it was like an “I know that” from deep within.” That is also what I felt when reading the books of Serge Benhayon, it connected me with something I already knew but was not aware of anymore. Serge’s book are the books where I have many ‘hmm that makes sense’ moments and that is really beautiful as in a way the truth he presents in his books has been something I have been looking for.
Thank you Nico, I love how you didn’t choose to react to the reactions you received but chose to connect to your inner knowing. It is incredible who we can inspire when we commit to expressing truth and love. Very gorgeous Nico.
I like the way you have said your life has become simpler, I feel their is an intelligence in simplicity
“slowly, slowly I came into more connection with myself and allowed myself to feel what I felt.” I echo that Nico. When I first attended presentations by Serge Benhayon I convinced myself that I could not feel and at the same denying that I just felt that being at the presentations and workshops was where I had to be. Slowly, slowly choosing to be aware of all that I feel I know that the words of wisdom presented by Serge is the true truth as it has always been.
“After a few years I went to Serge Benhayon’s workshops in the UK where I learnt how it is to be in connection with a group of people living and expressing the same truth. The joy that that brings is amazing, since it unifies us as human beings. Instead of looking to another person’s skills and capabilities out of comparison”. Beautifully expressed Nico. I have met such a great variety of people from all walks of life, whom I would never have come across in my life before – and to feel the unifying truth and love that inspires us all is unique.
I agree just how different it feels to be around a group of really smart, gifted, capable people and hold them in deep respect rather than opting for either jealousy or superiority from comparison. To me, it underlines how each one of us brings an essence or expression that is needed in the world that only we can bring. That means we can truly appreciate someone’s uniqueness in the whole system and our own equally, alongside it.
Nico, it always inspires me and brings more trust in people when I read blogs such as yours. I say this because it was truth that you felt and truth that you followed. You didn’t need it around you all the time to confirm this truth because the knowing in your body was confirmation enough. We all hold the spark of light and truth inside and we can all choose to follow and ignite the flame again.
It is beautiful you shared this Nico, your love has inspired many to feel that which is true in themselves.
Through your commitment and steady love Nico, your family were also able to see and eventually surrender to something that was true and loving and very inspiring. It is amazing how your wife and soon your children saw it as an inspiration and make it their own way of being through nothing more than their own choice and not your imposition. This is very different to how most present a truth to another and shows the power of a living way.
Well said Joshua, this shows the power of commitment and our steady love can make inspiring changes. By simply living our truth and allowing others space and time to reach their truth it is unimposing and empowering.
Thank you for sharing Nico. I love how you held steady with the more honest way you were learning to live in and let your family be, loving them without imposing, and how they were inspired by you to live more truly loving themselves. That is a miraculous story, and so simple. Imagine the whole world living like this.
A true inspiration Nico – giving yourself time to ‘gently’ connect and make changes in your life but also in doing that allowing those around you to continue to live their lives on their chosen path. The love that supports that connection/foundation is very hard to resist and join in with and be a part of that too. As in the case of your family. Beautiful.
This is a great blog Nico, and I experienced it all from up close.. it is beautiful to change as a family inspired by one, feeling that we are more. That what we do is inspiring all around, and surely our close family.
Love this Nico. It’s very inspiring to hear what comes about when you stay strong in what you feel and claim the truth of your life.
Really inspirational Nico. Amazing how you were able to see through the way relationships are often constituted, built on needs. With all the resistance your wife iniitially put up you stuck to what you felt was true and at the same time accepted and appreciated her without trying to convince her to see things your way. That is the only way to go.
Nico your story is a testament to Serge’s books and what they can offer. I’m so impressed that you felt the truth from what was presented in the book and started to make the changes in your life, even without attending any workshops or presentations. I can feel the strength and connection you have to living your truth, so much so that your family could not resist the pull. Very inspiring.
It is great that you could see the truth of the Teachings of Serge Benhayon and trusted yourself to follow through into the livingness of these, and in that, . inspiring your Wife and family by your Livingness. Thank you Nico.
Thank you for sharing your story Nico, I love how your choice to feel and connect to truth inside you inspired others to do so as well.
I can relate Nico to what you have said. I too was in search of answers for my unhappiness through the spiritual pathway to no avail until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Like yours Nico my life also has changed for the better with me being more connected to the love that I am. I loved the way you were with your family choosing love over meeting anyone’s needs. What a blessing you are to your family showing them the true way of being.
Thank you Nico, this is a great read. I love that you gently went about your way and allowed your wife and children to come to their own understanding in their own time. This is a perfect example to me of how love is beholding. You held it, your family felt it and everyone is lifted. And I love that you are bringing your simplicity to a complex job description!
Thanks for sharing Nico. Loved reading it. Usually all the stories I hear are about a women making a change and the man reacting- it was great to have that turn around and note that it was pretty much similar.
When we stay firm to the truth, the blossoming is guaranteed but the beauty of the colour is yet to be revealed.
Nico you’ve really pulled the rug out from under the falsities of relationships, I really appreciated this line:
“It was also confronting to me as a parent, because I had told them, explicitly or implicitly, to do what I wanted them to do in exchange for my love and support.”
This is very true in many relationships, it’s unspoken but unmistakably felt. We know it’s not love, that there is something better but we settle for less. Understanding what love is and deepening that in our relationships (and with ourselves) is really essential.
Beautiful Nico, you have shared so much wisdom and so simply – appreciated. Wow, what a huge step you took realising you had to change your life, to follow love from within you, and allow others to experience the upset of shifting the relationship from needs to love. I’m going through similar changes myself, feeling the needs and investments in myself and others and how they play out in relationships. Love is the great equaliser and ushers in a more simple way of relating. Love is a common ground but there is always an inequality when needs are at play.
Lovely to read how your life has changed, and that by living in a way that is honouring of yourself inspires those around you.
Nico, I really noticed the certainty with which you wrote your blog. Your steadfast determination to implement the changes you felt were true in your life helps to support me with my commitment to living in a way that feels true for me. Thank you.
Thank you Nico for the reminder of the beauty of living and connecting with all of humanity with the purpose of reflecting and expressing the unified truth — we are all the Sons of God equally so.
Thanks for sharing your journey so far, its a great point in life when we can say life is not working and to then tread the path you have and say – I now enjoy life and feel a true purpose to it. I love it , thank you Nico.
I love your story Nico and the way you ‘held’ your family with no judgment instead allowing them the space to eventually connect to the one truth. I too was involved in many new age movements and modalities without discerning where they truly came from. After finally arriving at the work of Serge Benhayon I knew with every single fibre of my being that I had arrived home and the lifelong search was finally over..
Rob that’s awesome- The feeling of home.
I was also someone who pursued spiritual interests, but like you Rob, when I met Serge Benhayon I knew completely that it was the real deal – I was met for who I am, without judgement or critique, just held, lovingly so – and from that moment I was on my way back to living my authentic self.
That’s amazing Rob. The feeling of arriving home is incredible, I have felt this too.
Simplicity in how we live feels natural and a relief from how we make complication in life, in order to feel identified, worthy, and important.
Good to hear that your life has improved Nico. Enjoying life and feeling a true purpose to it is way better than living towards goals that never, ever gave you true fulfilment. It feels wonderful to move forward
Thank you Nico, reading your story and the ripple effect it had on your family is very inspiring.
Agreed Fiona, it’s super inspiring. Just to know, by living from you, that people might react, but if you hold steady they begin to see what’s more. It was lovely to read about, especially the kids, that was cool.
True Emily, it is with our consistency that we give others the opportunity to see that they too are more.
True Emily, hold steady and who knows the gems that will be uncovered. In my experience things turn out better than they were before anyway.
Thanks for sharing your story Nico. It’s been amazing to see you transform into the truly gentle-man that you are with your openness and tender expression.
Thanks for sharing you Nico, I could feel what a change you have made by really honouring yourself and living from a true love of self. It’s also great to feel how you can now truly appreciate the fact we are all equal in life and therefore there is no need for comparison, now choosing to truly appreciate that everyone has something to offer. Just beautiful.
Thank you Nico for expressing so honestly and simply the transformation from how you felt you were ‘missing the essence of life’ to how you ‘now enjoy life and feel a true purpose to it’.
Hi Nico, how beautifully simple. Reading this has touched my heart and my mind feels eased knowing that life can be so simple and reading of the beautiful transformation in your family as you held yourself with love as you interacted with them. Truly Beautiful!
Thank you Nico, an inspiring blog that brings in the ‘Joy’ of being at Universal Medicine events in the UK. The amazing aspect of being in the ‘Joy’ as presented by Serge Benhayon is that it then flows into every aspect of the day!
By living our love we inspire others to do the same. We become the change we want to see in the world, and we inspire others, such that we change the world. We live with honesty and integrity, an openness that others respond too. Thank you Nico, as I read your article I could feel myself almost choosing to go into jealously and comparison with what you have inspired in your family, as my family have not been inspired the same by me. Yet as I sit still, the truth is that of late there is change in my family and my interactions with all my relationships. The thing that I have to constantly watch is that I do not make myself less than or more than another. To simply know we are all sons of God, that we are all the same inside. There is no one alive who doesn’t know the truth of their soul, this so encourages me to live my love in full each and every day. To inspire others to connect to their love and do the same.
When I read this one again Nico I got reminded of a quote from Serge Benhayon where he shares that “Love is an observation – a situation that allows another to be held no matter what, giving them time to get to their own amazingness.” (http://on.fb.me/1Jh3Iu7) It felt like this is what you offered your wife and it must’ve been great for her to experience a love that leaves you to be, to grow in your own pace, to connect if you feel to without wanting of needing anything.
I too Nico, am claiming my way of living, slowy but surely, and I can feel a deep appreciaton for myself in all the loving consistent choices I have made in the last few years, which supports me to value all that I bring.
To take those first steps in connectting to our love is not always easy and often causes reactions in those close to us. To have that commitment to truth and steadiness in yourself is amazing and obviously inspiring to your family. Thank you for sharing.
It’s lovely that you have inspired your wife and your kids rather than told them what to do or judging them for what they are doing. By the sounds of this blog, they were allowed the space to react, to observe, and to feel it for themselves, what your way of life is bringing to them.
Great read Nico, I too have found as I make true changes to/or let go of behaviours, so that my actions reflect more and more the Love that I am, then others Are inspired to do the same.
When you wrote “Along with the gentle breath meditation, I started to read Serge Benhayon’s book ‘The Way It Is’. I felt a very strong connection with all that was presented by the book, it was like an “I know that” from deep within.” I got such a strong sense of how important it is to express our whole truth all the time, as we may be the one to remind another of the glory they are within.
Nico, your story highlights the power of reflection as you live a life that is true for you. Beautiful.
It is lovely to feel your unimposing way, of what feels right for you. Only then others can truly connect, if they are ready to look at their life and decisions with responsibility.
That is a big step to take..: that I am needed in my quality in full – not me serving other peoples needs. That to truly serve means to serve from within, from my quality. From the understanding and knowing of what responds looking at the all. Thank you for that reflection!
Even ayawaska couldn´t take away your gorgeousness that just needed to be confirmed, that is quite something! The spaciousness, stillness and tenderness of your very nature is very much felt in your words and resonates with delight in me – lecker.
From ayawaska ceremonies and missing the essence of life to finding a purpose that brings you joy and inspires your family through your living is such an incredible transformation. Wow. What you have learnt about life and become aware of in yourself is so inspirational Nico, thank you for sharing your journey.
Beautiful story Nico. Wonderful to read how you honoured what felt true for you and your powerful reflection inspired those around you.
Nico I love the steadiness and simplicity with which you have turned your life around. So beautiful.
Your blog, Nico, is very refreshing. Your story is very beautiful and deeply sitted on stillness. There is a lot of space in your words.
It seems that we have to be reminded that there is a truth, perhaps we’ve forgotten, even though it lingers forever within. Given the reflection that there is a truth is challenging for some since we’ve been fed truths over the years that have clearly not been truths at all. It also seems that in the lack of having a true truth available we create our own truth and suddenly we have a couple of billion truths that is separate from each other and can therefore hardly be seen as truly true since truth is one unifying. Great example here Nico that it’s possible to overcome a resistance in favour of truth.
What you have presented is evidence of the fact that ‘it is simple’ when life is lived connected to your inner heart. The strength of this connection is very powerful and mentioned in relationship to your wife and children. You held onto what is true and it allowed space for those in your family to connect to their own inner knowing. Thank you Nico for sharing.
Beautiful how you could stay in your presence although you got emotionally attacked. Stunning.
It’s beautiful to feel how you claimed your way of living and at the same time allowed your family to make their own choices and claim more loving ways of being on their own accord.
I agree Fumiyo, Nico’s approach towards his family was deeply loving and inspiring. When we allow people space and time to make their own choices in life we are being extremely supportive because we are not imposing on them but lovingly supporting them by just constantly reflecting our love back to them, knowing that they will eventually return to the love they are too.
So simple to feel your commitment to feeling and living what you knew was deep within you Nico.
Thank you Nico for your beautiful blog and the changes you have brought to your life and your family . I have spent a large part of my life thinking that I did not matter now I know differently, we do matter as we all are important parts of the whole.
Lovely to revisit your blog Nico and feel the power that choices made from truth and love have on all those around us. A beautiful and powerful reflection that you offered to you family.
Nico, your steadiness and commitment to you and your truth is very inspiring. Thank you
Wunderbarer Nico, thank you for your clear statement as a person whose profession is in being an engineer. I can imagine that in this kind of profession people expected logical and complex solutions and therefore I am inspired in how you find your way out of this “box” of being. You are now a living role model for all the other people to feel into what they are doing in their professional way of being.
Hi Nico, I just came across your blog again and agree that the Gentle Breath Meditation is a wonderful way to reconnect to our essence and the great healing we find there. Below I have shared a link to a FANTASTIC site all about the Gentle Breath Meditation and there are even lots of free audio downloads that only take about 10 mins each – http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/gentle-breath-meditation/what-is-gentle-breath-meditation.html
Thank you for your blog Nico. You are another proof that living from your inner truth changes not only yours but the life of those around you.
Nico I loved reading your story and the changes that you made to reconnect with your gorgeous essence. You inspired not only yourself but all those around you. This is magic.
Thank you Nico, this is a great blog and you have shared so much truth. I love in the beginning how you say – ‘I was desperately trying everything presented to me without first discerning where it came from.’ This is a powerful truth to realise and to honour once this truth is felt. I too can relate to the ‘knowing’ that you felt as you began to read Serge Benhayon ‘The Way It Is’. This was my first book too. And though connecting to my essence, my truth more and more I was able to discern what I wanted to continue with in my life and what I wanted to let go of, what was supporting my connection and what was not. Most definitely a more joyful way to live.
Nico, I love hearing you say, as I and so many others have felt, that when you began to comprehend what Serge was presenting, that you ‘..know this already…I have always known this…”.
I feel strongly that The Truth belongs to every one of us and must be, by Universal law available to each of us because we are PART of it, exactly like how every cell in our body caries a blue print to the whole rest of our body! If we live inside the body of God we must be able to personally know God in full.
I choose to feel this, after denying it for so long, and I find that Serge Benhayon is the fast track to helping me wake up to the awareness of this wealth of Love & Truth that is within us all equally so.
Thank you Nico for sharing your story which is deeply felt and appreciated.
I can feel how you made choices to love and care for yourself first and this led to you having an understanding for your wife and children. It is great that you did not ask your family to change but they were inspired by your choices.
I agree with you that when I attend Serge Benhayon workshops, I have the opportunity to connect with people who live and express the same Truth. The joy this brings is real and I take that away with me and get on with my life and I know I can make a difference.
Hi Nico, I too get that “I know that” feeling when I read or hear Serge present. It is so totally exquisite to reconnect to the truth that Serge expresses as it is MY truth too. I just read on Unimedpedia Truth which presents what Truth truly is – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/Unimedpedia-Truth.html that True truth unifies us and is the same for everybody equally. The other thing that struck me reading what you wrote was your great courage and integrity and how once you reconnected and knew the truth (which is the same as love) you honoured that and inspired everyone around you.
Thanks for the link Nicola, I just listened to the audio on truth, it is a level way beyond what I had ever considered this word to mean in the past, hugely powerful to consider.
A great link Nicola. Thank you.
This is very inspiring Nico. How you connected to truth and solidly committed and stuck to it. Not easy within a family dynamic where there are so many needs and roles to be fulfilled. A solid and inspiring foundation that your family all eventually responded to.
Thanks Nico – I get a real sense of the shift in you so that you became the rock in the family, just being you (nothing more complicated than that). And the rest of the article describes beautifully how the other members of the family initially clash against that, but were then inspired by the solid foundation which allowed them to start making changes of their own.
Yes Simon, I love how Nico shows that once he is connecting to the essence he truly is within he only needed to simply hold himself in that wisdom and stand steady with the love that is there and in this way he offered his family another choice, so gently and without any demands, rules or impositions being made.
I find this very encouraging as I choose to stand by the love that I now recognize as my truth, instead of trading needs or making deals and calling that “love” as I used to do and accept in others, all the while feeling miserable for it.
A great sharing of how your life became more simple and joyful with your true connection to your inner self.
Thank you Nico for sharing and this is an inspiring read for anyone who has doubted or neglected the truth we constantly feel within.
It’s great Nico that you stayed true to your inner knowing. What a gift you now have given to your family, and I am sure to many others,by honouring and living your truth.
What stuck with me the most about this blog was that consistency of living is the greatest inspiration for another.
Yes absolutely leighoflight. Consistency is part of Love, it forms the rock that supports another to regain trust and surrender to their own love.
Nico, I can relate to so much of your blog and like you I experienced family members who reacted to me making more loving changes, but gradually and from no initiating on my part, one of my family members has also begun making different choices such as no longer drinking alcohol, cutting right back on gluten and taking a pot of soya milk to the coffee shop with her for her coffee. These changes are huge and it is beautiful watching the ripple effect delicately unfold simply by changing the way I am living.
Thank you Nico. Your blog title “Claiming my way of living” says it all, as this is exactly what you have been doing and it is beautiful to feel.
Thank you Nico – it is lovely to see you all together as a family when at The Lighthouse (UK) for courses – an inspiration to us all.
Thank you Nico – it’s very inspiring.
“The missing link” – the essence of life as you describe it Nico. I have read this sentence in so many posts and of course it is the one that I use to describe in a gist how I felt before I came across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. We keep searching for it on the outside in all shapes and forms (alternative modalities, gurus, religion, work, relationships, sports, music…) without awareness that we are looking at all the wrong places and barking up wrong trees. So when we start to look inside ourselves like so many students have shared, the answers, one by one, little by little start to offer themselves to us.
My life too has never been simpler but more joyous than it is now. Thanks Nico.
Ditto for me too… that frantic searching outside for an answer, or a solution, or something that is going to make sense of it all when the only place to look is right there with us all of the time.
Yes, life becomes much simpler. Once we have an idea who we are, truly are, it gets much easier as that is our yardstick – what is us and what is not us and then we have a choice.
Very nice to read how it started with you from within, your realisation of ‘I know this’ and how you have walked your path reflecting your family your love. As I know you as a family and now how it all enfolded for you all, it’s even more a joy for me to see how your family as a whole is now a reflection for me how a family can be and live joyfully and lovingly together. Thanks for the example!
Thank you Nico – what a catalyst towards change you have been for your family and that you are now all together learning to express that change towards love, as one which is wonderful!
How powerful we are when we connect to our truth and live it for ourselves without any expectations of others joining us. Nico, your family connecting to their truth in their own time is a perfect example of this. Well done for being patient and offering them love.
Thank you Nico – a beautiful example of how uncomplicated and joyful life can be when we connect to what we know is true, and simply begin to live that.
Absolutely agree Angela with your comment.
Absolutely how simple it can be when we connect, just our livingness inspires our partners and others.