by Dianne Trussell
My own relationships have increasingly blossomed and deepened as I apply in my life the simple things Serge Benhayon applies in his and shares with others, for the sake of humanity.
I used to keep people at a distance, unaware that I was protecting myself from being hurt. I was nervous, over-sensitive, and had to get away from people just to recuperate my energy. I actually did not like people in general, and very few people seemed to understand me. My own company, and that of animals and plants, made sense and I could rest and feel ‘normal’ when alone with nature.
You know how we tend to judge people at first sight? Well it’s very hard not to, as the mind always jumps in based on what we see and on how we’ve been hurt in the past, before we can think or feel anything else. We really may not want to judge, and may not even be aware of our own ‘faults’ that are noticeable to others.
One day out on my morning walk I realised that something had shifted in me. Along came a man walking his dog. Both were overweight and seemed very miserable and closed, not wanting to interact with anyone in the street. However, that’s not what I perceived first. To my joy, I first felt them as two fellow beings full of love. It was then that I saw their pain and sadness, and last of all, the physical expression of it in the condition of their bodies. It was like the dawn of a new era for me, a small beginning of the end of judging others, and of truly seeing them as beautiful equals. I felt in love with everything as I walked: the people, the trees, the houses, even the stones of the road. And I knew it was the love in me that enables me to see love all around. It’s so gorgeous, I wish everyone on Earth could feel this way!
People may say, oh yeah but if you have problems you can’t feel like that. However I’m going through lots of quite intense problems in my life: loss of job and business income, debt, having to move house repeatedly, nearly three years of illness, the deaths of friends, serious illness in my family – many people might believe it impossible to feel joyful and loving in these circumstances. And yet I do. And much less worried or frustrated than I’ve ever been before, even when the problems were smaller. I often don’t manage to hold my connection to the love inside me, but I’m making progress and others see it.
People who are also struggling with overwhelming challenges want to know how come I’m sailing joyfully through mine, because everything else they’ve tried is not helping and they are on the brink of nervous breakdown, bankruptcy, suicide, whatever. And in that way, I can help them not by making choices for them or trying to solve their problems, but by continuing to be the ‘new’ me and sharing simply what I do. And it makes a difference for them too.
I now find that I can love my family, ex-partners, friends and workmates in a new way beyond all the personal choices they and I make, a way that increasingly leaves them free to be or do whatever, without feeling myself reacting and wanting to change them. I can spend lovely time with them in which we can open to each other and feel loved, trusted and supported. I can love and hug and hang out with my ex-partners without any ‘stuff’ in the way, without attachment, sexual undertones, reservations, or disrespect to their current partners. I can even strike up a friendly, open conversation with a total stranger, which is something I was never able to do. I’m beginning to see the real gorgeousness of people beneath their outer appearances and choices, that everyone has a loving heart and just needs to re-discover it. And it’s changed me to know that.
Before, if people were being disrespectful or abusive towards me I would suffer in silence, afraid to say anything for fear of creating more conflict, but now I will speak up and say clearly how I am feeling, without anger, resentment or fear. I will no longer knowingly allow harm to myself from other people’s unhealthy behaviour and choices. Not only is this healthier for me, it gives them my honesty, which they can use to look at themselves if they so choose. Without being ‘called on their stuff’ and hearing the truth, they will go on hurting themselves and others and that’s not good for them either. I was ‘called on my stuff’ and although it can be very uncomfortable and never-ending, it’s worth it to see and feel and know the truth. No-one REALLY wants to be hurtful to others. We all need honesty and truth in order to grow, even if it’s confronting at times.
Critics could say this is all in my head, but even though I have a long way to go in my unfolding, I consistently receive feedback from people saying that I’ve changed in lovely ways: that I am calm, present, gentle, have a quiet authority that people listen to, that whatever it is, they want it too, that what I’m sharing is very timely, that it helped them get on a new track and see things in a new more positive and more responsible way, and so on.
For example, Mum had not seen me for nine months and I went interstate to care for her after major surgery. Unsolicited she said one day: “There’s something different about you. There’s a calmness, grace and gentleness to all your movements. What have you been doing, how is that happening?” And now she too has begun to make self-loving choices in her food, exercise, sleep, housework and relating. My housemate said yesterday: “I can see you’re doing really well, your commitment to yourself is working. You are so quiet, calm and gentle. You’re a great example for me to have around.” And my close friend of 40 years’ duration, said to me: “You are putting something different out into the world. Something healing…”
I share these things not to ‘beat my own drum’ but to give you examples of how making self-loving choices can shine out and let other people see that they can do it too. This is a central message of what Serge Benhayon presents, and I now have ample personal experience of it in action in my own life. I would never want to go back to the way I was. Thanks Serge, and thanks also to your wonderful family for being such shining examples of what you present!