Claiming Myself Back

by Marika Cominos (Bachelor Business Administration – Management/Marketing)

I have no doubt that about seven years ago, if I had kept going at the pace I was, for sure I was heading towards serious ill-health. I was a workaholic, always kept myself busy and caught up in the motion of life, looking after others first, and seeking recognition and acceptance through my very physically demanding work as an acrobatic performer. You could say I was a superwoman! I even have a performance photo of me balancing on one hand dressed in a wonder woman costume… kind of says it all really!

But underneath all of the glamour and so-called ‘success’, my body was actually exhausted! As many readers will relate, I looked for all sorts of reasons and answers as to why I was exhausted. I had blood tests, went to naturopaths, tried different cleansing diets, herbal teas, allergy tests, fancy meditation techniques, psychic readings, ayurvedic potions, workshops galore and the list goes on. Whilst some of these things helped alleviate some symptoms, they just didn’t get to the root cause of the ill-health. I chased my tail going from one alternative practitioner/remedy to another looking for the easy way out of pain and misery. I was on a ‘New Age Merry-Go-Round’. In hindsight I can see how this process was very stressful and took me further into exhaustion and further away from the truth, blindly digging myself deeper as I continued to search for answers outside of myself. Sound familiar?

I chased my tail from one thing to the next, not getting any true healing. You can get quite cynical when someone offers the next ‘fix it’ remedy or practitioner. But I was very fortunate to stumble across an authentic Esoteric Healing practitioner. I had been quietly hearing about this man from different people over a three year period, but because there were no ‘bells & whistles’ pandering to my neediness, it took a while for me to make an appointment to see him. Now over the years I have experienced a lot of therapies, and none have come even close to the truly inspiring integrity and love of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. They are the only organisation I have come across that consistently walk the talk.

Having exhausted myself on the New Age Merry-Go-Round, I walked into my first session to see Serge Benhayon with caution, but I didn’t walk out the same. It was one of those poignant life moments that made me stop because I felt the extraordinary loving energy, integrity and was met as an equal. I felt the essence of who I really was… love. My ill choices and ideals were exposed. I had moved so far away from my truth having been too much in the rational mind, allured by a glamorous life and so very much identified as an acrobatic performer. The path back to self-love began and I slowly nurtured myself back to harmony. After all, I could only really love another once I loved myself first.

This was a most profound beginning, a truth that reconnected me back to a truer state of harmony. It became clear how much energy was wasted in acting, speaking, or dressing in a certain way in order to appease others’ beliefs and ideals or to be liked. I realised that I had to stop looking for answers outside of myself because the truth was, and is, always found within. To truly heal I had to take responsibility for all of my choices. I was the only one that could fill the emptiness with my own self-love, instead of looking to others to fill that need, or creating distractions so as not to feel truth myself. So I started claiming myself back!

It became obvious that I needed to take responsibility for my wellbeing and start caring for myself. I started to explore the premise that all disharmony, illness and disease in the body was the end result of how I chose to live on a daily basis… that it was my body’s way of being honest and talking to me. Could it be that simple? Was I onto something?

From this new perspective I began to make some soulful changes. I downsized and untangled my complexities into simple living. I communed with nature, a great teacher of rhythms and harmony. I moved away from the imposed societal ideals of what I should be doing, and stopped making decisions based on seeking recognition and acceptance. I stopped giving my power away to therapists and potions and learnt how to nurture me from the inside out. Some friends dropped away as they do, but I stopped worrying about what others thought about me because this was my ticket off the recognition and acceptance treadmill where I could just BE me.

Holding my stillness in a world that is in a constant unnatural state of emotion was at first not an easy task. When I started to observe the world from a still and gentle place from within me, I could see how the world was in a constant motion and unnatural spin (stress). Was there a way to just observe this spin without getting caught in absorbing it? I realised that I had a choice… that if I used the simple and gentle meditation techniques I had learnt from Universal Medicine to connect with my natural inner harmony and wisdom, then my day unfolded in a very different way. And as a result of my loving choices, my body would feel untouched by the spin and thus feel harmonious at the end of the day. I had spent so many years focusing on the outer – focusing on my inner was the missing link I had been looking for. What I started to discover was that there was so much inner wisdom within me, and therefore everyone else. I just hadn’t given it permission to express. It reminded me that life is so simple if I choose it to be.

Now that I have a true marker of harmony and joy in my body, I am inspired to continue to deepen this every day. What I had as a successful Acrobat, Yoga Teacher and Event Producer looked great on the outside, but I had an emptiness on the inside that had no long term sustainability. What I have now is the choice to build true love on the inside, which can’t help but emanate on the outside. No amount of money can buy this inner yumminess for me that is so delicate and precious! From here I can choose to take responsibility for healing myself and claiming the awesomeness that I am. I know that when I choose to claim all that I am, I inspire others to do the same.

My heartfelt thanks and gratitude to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for being the inspiration for me to wake up from just existing so that I could start claiming myself back and make the choice to begin truly living and loving.

It feels apt to conclude with the wise words written on a plate that I found in a St Vinnies store years ago…“Marry yourself first…and promise never to leave you!” 

123 thoughts on “Claiming Myself Back

  1. Whenever we start looking for reasons to justify why we don’t feel so great, its a sure sign we need to stop and take responsibility for how we feel. Blaming anything is a fools game that ends up in further ill-health, so instead of this, we can choose to turn up the volume of self-love – being tender, loving and nurturing towards ourselves. If we bring the same level of commitment to this as we have done to our unselfloving choices, life will do an about turn before we know it.

  2. We search for so much outside of ourselves, draining ourselves in the process, when everything we need is inside us all along, ‘This was a most profound beginning, a truth that reconnected me back to a truer state of harmony. It became clear how much energy was wasted in acting, speaking, or dressing in a certain way in order to appease others’ beliefs and ideals or to be liked.’

  3. Absolutely Marika, we all have to take responsibility for our choices, ‘To truly heal I had to take responsibility for all of my choices. I was the only one that could fill the emptiness with my own self-love, instead of looking to others to fill that need, or creating distractions so as not to feel truth myself.’ How beautiful that you are now bringing love to yourself.

  4. This is lovely Marika, building the true love that you are so others feel and see this, ‘I can choose to take responsibility for healing myself and claiming the awesomeness that I am. I know that when I choose to claim all that I am, I inspire others to do the same.’

  5. It is fascinating how many metaphorical somersaults and back-flips we will do to avoid listening to the truth that our body is telling us. Reconnecting to our inner-heart and honouring the love that we are offers a way to reclaim our Divine essence and choose to live every day from a foundation of true love.

  6. Beautiful Marika, truly beautiful to have you back . . .I can so relate though I didn’t have the wonder/super woman thing going on I was still looking for love, answers to my questions and relief from the emptiness I felt inside all in the wrong places. I love this . . .“Marry yourself first…and promise never to leave you!” . . .hahah so true as true love comes from within and can never be found looking outside of ourselves.

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