Going To Bed At 9 pm Makes So Much Sense

by Jane Keep, UK

Ever since I was a teenager I always got so tired by mid-evening. I would see my parents fall asleep on the couch around 9pm, and I too felt very sleepy at that time. I would hear other parents joking with each other that they fell asleep around 9pm too, in front of the TV…  yet they would continue their evenings until 11pm or maybe later. In fact, my parents used to get a coffee and cake at 9pm so as to stay awake for a further few hours. 

As I grew up I found that most social things happened in the evenings, and as I got into my twenties, the social nights out actually never started until 9pm: so I used to follow the crowds and do the same. In order to do this I needed to use something to keep me awake, such as drinking tea or eating chocolate. I did, however, find that I was always struggling to stay awake after 9pm, even with chocolate, cake or tea. I even tried a little alcohol to keep me awake, but that didn’t help me either. I would sit watching my friends leaping about when we were out, while my whole body just felt like going to bed.

Then came my relationships, my two marriages. Again, by 9pm I was always struggling to stay awake, and my partners would say “but if you go to bed now we won’t have the evening together”, so I would override what I felt by using tea, chocolate or cake so that I could stay awake and keep them company – whether watching TV or going out to a pub or movie.

It was always a strange feeling for me to be up or out after 9pm; it was as though my body had begun to shut down, yet I was still using it. It always felt like the ‘twilight zone’ after 9pm – a kind of eerie feeling. I found it hard to focus, and caught myself on a number of occasions falling asleep while driving after this time. The push to stay up made me feel constantly on edge, and by the time I got to bed I was so overtired I often needed to eat something to put me to sleep. But this put me in a constant daily cycle of sleeping restlessly, feeling exhausted when I awoke, and over time feeling resentful towards myself and others for doing this.

During all of this I would often say to myself, why am I not going to bed when I am tired? Yet it kept on going; it continued to place a toll on my wellbeing, and I was irritable too. What I found was that, when I tried to stay up later, the quality of my sleep was always deeply affected, as was the quality of my day, and the next day.

Then one day, at one of the first presentations I attended by Serge Benhayon, he talked about taking care of ourselves, our bodies, and that the most natural sleep rhythm for our bodies was to be in bed by 9pm, this being the time when our bodies were able to rest and gain optimum healing during the night: being in bed by 9pm and then waking up when our body was ready. This for me was one of my life changing moments, and made so much sense. I could now feel that my body, since being a teenager, had always been asking me to go to bed around 9pm. My body sighed hugely with relief. What I had always known, but had over-ridden, I now realised was my natural rhythm – I realised I wasn’t the one who was abnormal, as there was a natural truth in our biological make up whereby being in bed by 9pm was normal.

From that day forward I gave myself permission to go to bed when I was tired, and in particular to go to bed around 9pm. At first, friends, relatives and my family would nag me, but over time they all just got used to me going to bed early. If I was going out for supper with girly friends they would meet me at 6.30pm, and when I went out for meals with my mum we would go for lunches, or when I went to the movies with anyone it would be a Sunday afternoon.

I absolutely love being in bed by 9pm, and I love taking the time early in the evening to go into a restful phase prior to going to bed. I love the mornings whether it is 4 am or 5 am; to hear the birds singing, or to hear the quiet crispness of the day beginning before all of the usual daily noise/traffic sounds. It really is the simple things that make a huge amount of difference. Nowadays, I feel so much less tired than I ever did, and my body so much appreciates snuggling up by 9pm.

I now absolutely know I would never change my now normal sleep rhythm. I am always appreciative of the inspiration I have had from Serge Benhayon in confirming my natural sleep rhythm, that which my body had been telling me for so long.

1,245 thoughts on “Going To Bed At 9 pm Makes So Much Sense

  1. Giving ourselves permission is all it takes to break away from the status quo and begin choosing to support ourselves.

    1. Absolutely Brendan. It is crazy how we can ‘fight’ this rather than simply going with what feels so natural to our bodies. But when we do choose to give ourselves permission, it ultimatley not only supports us, but supports all those around us too.

      1. Great point Sandra, it so supports all those around us. We can tend to forget this.

    2. Great point Brendan, and to stay open, and curious in our day as to why the things are the way they are, supports us to realise that just because something seems ‘normal’ it doesnt mean it is the only way. I love how this then opens us up to realise we have so much more choice in life than we choose to be aware of.

  2. The nights that I allow myself to indulge and stay up late, either to read a book, potter around in my bedroom or just been unorganised, I can feel the affects throughout my whole body the next day. It is like I am carrying around this drag behind me. That feels like its heavy and not light and bubbly like I am by nature. So it is about focusing on sometimes when I become obedient to that old pattern in the evenings, to stay up late, to focus on what and how I will feel the next day.

  3. I naturally went to bed 5 years ago at around 9pm because of the way I lived at that time. This became a choice I hold very dear, because I know how much my body has been supported by it, and it was deeply necessary for me especially during that time. My life has changed recently, and going to bed at 9pm may not always be possible, but instead of choosing to feel overwhelmed and self-critical, which at times I must admit I did, was to feel into the whole situation deeper. I constantly ask myself, if this is what life presents to me for a greater purpose, how would I choose to live? In joy and acceptance or in resistance and fighting? And so I chose to even heed a closer relationship with my body, to be aware of its needs and to accept it, and be gentle and understanding of it even deeper than ever before.

  4. I love the science of early to bed – not only does it make total sense it absolutely nourishes my body. There are times when I need to stay up later , or I am travelling – but it makes no difference to my vitality because of the great sleep rhythm that has already been established.

  5. I remember as a child having a shut down moment when we ate out relatively late on summer holidays in European countries. We would eat late and with all the heavy food my eyelids were often shutting at the table. I remember not enjoying walking home from restaurants because all I wanted was to be tucked up in bed.

  6. Last night I went to bed at 8pm and fell asleep shortly after 9pm having read this blog. I’ve woken up feeling refreshed, light and energised and it’s a great reminder that overriding my tiredness is a fruitless exercise as I don’t get away with it even if I think I do.

  7. Recently I went to a friend’s birthday lunch where after lunch, some friends played guitar and sang. It was the most gorgeous afternoon, and I was home by around 5pm. Had we done this in the evening over dinner, it would have either been a later night, or we wouldn’t have had the beautiful music because it was getting late. So I’m a huge fan of daytime get togethers so I can be in bed around 9pm.

    1. I agree Sandra. Also sometimes in the evening I am trying to get things done and nowadays I realise if I simply surrender for an early night, then I rise early and get things done twice as quickly feeling fresh and ready for the day.

  8. Even though it makes so much sense to go to bed early it is all too easy to slip into a habit of staying up to have that ‘me time’ at the end of the day. However we don’t always make the connection that a seemingly harmless late couple of nights can have far reaching ramifications on how your week will play out – how you cope with the challenges that arise, how we then impact on other people, how our food choices are affected – seeking caffeine or sugar to falsely recreate a version of energy to get us through. – and all the further consequences from those choices. It is a downward spiral that can easily be avoided through the simple listening to and honouring of our body’s signal to rest and rejuvenate, to be able to awaken refreshed and restored ready for the new day.

  9. It is a simple act going to bed by 9pm. A lifestyle change that I stick too and has made the vastness difference to my health, wellbeing and vitality. It’s free and so very natural.

  10. Just as I read this line – “I love the mornings whether it is 4 am or 5 am; to hear the birds singing” – a bunch of kookaburras went off! with their gorgeous cackle…..looks like they agree with your sharing as well!

  11. My body sighed hugely with relief. What I had always known, but had over-ridden, I now realised was my natural rhythm – I realised I wasn’t the one who was abnormal, as there was a natural truth in our biological make up whereby being in bed by 9pm was normal. So true and so confirming and a joy to read and live sharing the beauty and clarity of the early mornings is also is amazing.

    1. Early to bed is an age old adage full of wisdom and common sense. If we honour our body’s natural rhythm it follows that we will support our living quality.

  12. Yes!… totally agree as going to bed at 9pm offers a brilliant routine and ritual as it brings one back into their sleep-wake cycle that is incredibly supportive to all their body systems, I have discovered that the body loves routine and sleep habits is one sure way of establishing self care.

  13. It’s a beautiful gesture and honouring of our bodies when we choose to stop, appreciate and listen to all it shares to allow us to nurture and rest at the end of a day, fore it then lays a foundation for our next morning too.

  14. If we consider that how we sleep at night is a reflection of our previous day, and will determine how we feel and are in our interactions the following day, then it makes complete sense that our preparation for going to sleep and going to bed early are crucial to how we are with everything we do in our day to day lives.

  15. I’m seeing more and more how going into sleep is no different to going into my day, it’s just another phase of a constant cycle. I wouldn’t go into work having had a big heavy meal as I’d feel sluggish and tired. And so why do I sometimes think it is ok to have a big meal at night and then go to sleep, knowing that I need more sleep when I do, and that I don’t wake as refreshed in the morning?

  16. This is such a simple concept and yet always when things start to go awry with work and daily life, the simple act of allowing restorative sleep gets cast by the wayside – and therein simultaneously exacerbating the issues and diminishing our ability to cope with them! It is tempting to feel a yearning for that ‘space’ at the end of the day but it is not truly a space rather a hiding out / distraction and a sabotage that deprives you of the very thing you need to help bring you back to the quality for delivering what is needed the following day.

  17. When and how we put ourselves to sleep has so much baring on the quality of the sleep we will have and how we will wake the following day, as to our every movement during that day leading up to sleep is equally important.

  18. Sleep is not a time when we simply switch off for a set period of time – we are never ‘off’ for our body does not shut down, stop breathing or living whether we are asleep or awake.

    1. That reminds me that we (I know I do) accept it is normal to go to bed over tired, depleted or exhausted – rather than realise that it is possible to go to bed feeling vibrant, vital and harmonious even before we sleep. And that the way we live our day is the way we live our night/quality of our sleep. And in the end as you say we are never off, we are simply in a different part of a daily cycle.

      1. It is indeed possible to go to bed when not feeling tired, and still easily go to sleep and awaken feeling vital. I know how much I love the feeling of going to bed at night without the exhaustion.

  19. It is amazing we are still able to even function given how we often treat our bodies with such disrespect…

  20. “It really is the simple things that make a huge amount of difference. Nowadays, I feel so much less tired than I ever did, and my body so much appreciates snuggling up by 9pm.” Yes this is a lovely gift to our bodies. It took much dedication to change my sleeping rhythm from late nights, but the difference in how l feel can’t be disputed. The earlier the better actually. I work some nights late however to have the odd early night is so wonderful. And the quality of the next day is unmistakable.

  21. What is indicative about what you share is how normal it is to override our body to the point where we are questioning if not even aware of the truth it is presenting to us. When we do this we actually loose a solid relationship with what we know is true and anything from there on is a justification and haggling game of truth with our mind

  22. It is quite amazing how the body adjusts and re-organises itself when you introduce a regular bed time such as 9pm. It seems to know and want to assist in re-establishing itself with this routine, its just that we have to recognise those cue’s and signals the body has that prompt you to listen and recognise its time to stop and go to bed rather than overriding. The more we take notice, the more obvious these cue’s seem to be.

  23. Its crazy how we will override what our body is telling us for the sake of pleasing another. When we do listen and act on what we feel there is no denying the massive benefits that it has on our bodies.

  24. Our hearts beat to a greater rhythm than can be measured by the clock alone. However, time gives us a measure for how to live in rhythm to this Universal order and not against it.

  25. I know for me when I don’t honour myself and go to bed at or around 9pm, i really feel it the next day. I know that I feel like i am always on the back foot, not quite feeling like I am running on all cylinders.

  26. I struggle a bit with going to bed exactly at 9pm and often stay up a bit later, especially if I’ve been out and taken time to wind down. When I do make it by 9 though, I feel so much more alive the next day, it makes quite a difference.

  27. every time I let this natural rhythm slip, through pushing through to get things completed, or wanting to create a false ‘space’ at the end of the day, the consequences are immediate and affect not only my own health and well-being, but affects all those with whom I interact for the following days. so we could say it is not just for ourselves, but of benefit to everyone to honour these simple rhythms and cycles that our body naturally follows.

  28. The quality of our sleep is equally as important as the quality we are as we move about during the day. Our preparation for sleep is therefore a very important part of the day.

    1. This is a great point Vicky, if I’ve had a day where I have let work take over or I have eaten the wrong foods then the quality of my sleep is significantly worse and I struggle to get up in the morning.

  29. I would never have credited the simple ritual of a wind-down to an early bed would have transformed my life and health, but the evidence has been incontrovertible. When we honour this rhythm we allow ourselves the gift of a truly restorative sleep and so the potential quality we can bring the next day is far greater, as is our ability to hold steady that quality no matter what comes our way.

  30. Yes the later we stay up the worse the quality of our sleep tends to be, which shows sleep quality is not dependent on level of tiredness…

  31. It is not about the time on the face of the clock for me, but most definitely about our own body’s rhythm and to what level we are obedient to it.

  32. There is a definite and absolute science here especially when we consider the fact that we can go to bed at 9 and have the same number of hours sleep as we would if we go to bed later but the end result and the quality we feel in ourselves is entirely different

  33. I hear so many people these days saying that they have a terrible time trying to sleep and when I tell them how wonderfully I sleep and the reasons why they look at me as if I am a bit mad. It is seldom that I am not fast asleep by 9pm and I sleep soundly until I have had all the sleep I need. My wake up times do vary between about 2.30 and 4.30am depending on what my day has been like. When I explain that all it takes is getting into a rhythm, not drinking stimulating drinks or foods in the evening or watching stimulating shows on TV and not working late. Get up fresh and finish it early. I love going to bed when my body needs it, I have to say it is now one of my favourite and loving things I do for myself.

    1. I completely agree Kevin and I have the same experience as you. Many people have difficulty sleeping and one of the reasons is exhaustion. Strangely enough when you are healthier and vital it is a lot easier to sleep. If someone is having difficulty sleeping then their body is giving them a message to look at how they are living during the day – same with any other symptoms in the body. It is very, very rewarding to listen to our bodies for they are much wiser than we give them credit for.

  34. Now we know where the words “BODY CLOCK” come from. No need to set the alarm as the internal clock will show us the answers for how it works.

  35. I know that going to bed early is one of the most supportive things I can do for myself – which is why it is one of the first to go when I’m not being loving with myself as it has the knock on effect of disrupting my whole day.

    1. That’s an excellent point- when we are not being loving and present with the body, the desire to self sabotage is very strong at times, and we know exactly how to do this as you have demonstrated.

  36. Even if we didn’t look at the clock our body knows when the best time to sleep is and the moment we start to go into stimulation.

  37. It’s interesting how often I fight going to sleep when I’m tired because I race around thinking I will just get this or that done. I feel it would support me to make sure I complete my household chores earlier in the day, something that I feel I need to look at.

  38. I know there is a direct connection with the way I am in the evening before I go to bed, and the way I feel the next day – nothing could be clearer to me. I enjoy finding the lightness and clarity in my body from this step alone- of going to bed when I am naturally tired, rather than pushing through what my body is clearly showing me.

  39. Who would have thought that there was so much to sleep than just getting the required hours. In fact the sleep we get is more about the quality and how we prepare for sleep in order for it to be restorative.

  40. Sleep is a great marker for me of how I spent the day. The body can only go to a deep rest, when I have allowed myself to live my day expressing all of me and as such the day is complete.

  41. Going to bed at 9pm is one thing, the quality I take myself to bed with is another. It is the preparation I take let go of the day and the choices of what foods I eat and how late I eat them that impacts hugely on the quality of my sleep not just the time I got to bed.

  42. Last night I went to bed at 7.30. In fact I started getting ready for bed at 7pm. I’d had a very early start and after dinner I could feel I had a choice – I could stay up and do a few things or I could lovingly take myself to bed to rest. I chose the latter and woke up early this morning feeling refreshed. Had I chosen to stay up to my usual time, I’m pretty sure that I would have felt tired today and had a mild struggle throughout the day. It was a simple choice, an only an hours difference but one that had quite a big impact.

    1. This is a great reminder Nikki, that even when we have things to do in the evening, if we are feeling tired then going to bed early is the most nurturing option. The chances are that you have a great nights sleep, wake early feeling refreshed and vital and have plenty of time to do what you wanted to do the night before, plus more! Its totally worth putting this into practice.

  43. The body can need different sleep at different times, but i agree that when I listen to what is needed by the body it is never leaves me astray, unlike when I try to push against the natural cycles of the day.

  44. It’s amazing how we can be so far away from our natural rhythm that we need the reflection from another to be able to truly feel and appreciate what our body has been communicating all along.

  45. Going to bed around 9pm makes a lot of sense to me too, my day is definitely done and complete around then and I really struggle to stay awake any longer than this. I definitely feel it’s true that our bodies innately know the cycle that they need to be in, and all we need to do is tune into our body to know what’s right for us.

  46. I completely agree Jane, I love going to bed early and getting up early. I too have had multiple experiences where Serge has presented something that I always felt and even knew but had never experienced that confirmation from others. Hearing Serge present it gave me the confidence to live it and to live the truth I have always know. It has supported me to have far greater trust in and listen to my own knowing and as a result my life, health and well-being has transformed in many wonderful ways.

  47. In the last week I have stayed up a couple of times past the point when my body has said very clearly ‘ time for bed, I’m done for the day’ and the consequence of this has been a groggy start to the next morning and feeling tired all the next day which has a big impact on everything for it effects my ability to read situations accurately and respond without reacting to them. It effects the quality of all my relationships. So it is the little things and rituals in life that make such a big difference not only to us but to everyone and everything around us.

  48. The way I now take care of myself has strengthened my knowing of how much it makes sense to go to bed when my body is communicating to me that it needs to rest and rejuvenate. I then naturally wake up feeling fresher and more energised to start the day which builds a steady foundation and deepening awareness to handle the situations that arise and not to push my body beyond its natural rhythm.

  49. I love this, your description of choosing what feels true for you and your body, is lovely to read, so often we discount and deny what we feel for many reasons, some you have very clearly described above. I now also go to bed around 9pm, I had thought I was a night owl, but when I had my daughter, I began to go to bed early to make sure I got some sleep before she woke and I is discovered I really enjoyed this pattern, my body feels much more rested. I would encourage anyone who is tired in the day to have a go and altering their sleep patterns to an early to bed, early to rise, it really is a lovey rhythm to have in life.

  50. Life since I started to attend Universal Medicine events has been about “rest and gain optimum healing during the night” and this is so my body can be open, which makes it able to be loving as I no longer feel as tired during the day. Much has changed, as I am now giving time for my body to regenerate at night and the deep appreciation, for what excess vitality I have as I go into my elderly years, that I feel for Serge Benhayon.

  51. it is to our great detriment that we have lost that connection to the innate rhythms and cycles our bodies naturally live by – and the tremendous restoration, healing and evolution that is on offer to us each and every night is so often not honoured such that then we are diminished from all we could be as the body instead has to play catchup offsetting all the insults we visit upon our body each day and often far into the night. How much would the health of our communities and the all people in them change if we honoured these simple rhythms.

  52. Going to bed at 9pm does make so much sense… and if really tired even earlier! I find this is the best way to recoup and regenerate rather than trying to sleep longer later in the morning. I remain more vital this way.

  53. I too love being in bed by 9pm, my body sometimes asks to go earlier, these days I honour what my body is asking, ‘ gave myself permission to go to bed when I was tired, and in particular to go to bed around 9pm. ‘

  54. Oh it makes so much sense! My body is tired therefore I need to rest. I can do anything during my day if I know I will be sinking into bed at 9pm. Then up early with renewed energy. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  55. Going to bed when we feel to gives our bodies optimal opportunities to rest and surrender to a full sleep naturally. It has helped me find a more natural rhythm for how I prepare myself for bed and how I then wake the next morning too. The quality we go to sleep in affects the quality we arise in, listening to the bodies natural rhythm really does make so much sense.

    1. It makes complete sense yet one so many of us have tended to override. We all know the saying early to bed early to rise. And I know for myself the major difference it makes for me when I listen to my body.

  56. What makes sense is to listen to the body and adhere, and pay credence, to it’s natural rhythms and cycles.

  57. Some people shared with me that they go to bed late because otherwise they’ll be awake too early and they don’t want that, so they go against their natural instinct which is to go to bed around 9pm and go to bed around 11pm so that they sleep more in the morning.

  58. It seems that our bodies have a Universal rhythm and in listening to this, we become much more connected to the cycles we are all a part of – and fighting this keeps us in the struggle of being individual in life.

  59. There is nothing more serene than the sound of silence in the early hours of the day, it is a very sacred time as I can feel a deep communion with the all. Going to bed early rocks!

  60. What a gorgeous blog, sharing with us and showing us that we always come back to those first feelings & knowing.. What we should have honored in the first place. But, we by insight can choose to become aware of it and choose to feel it again. Simple it is.

  61. Yes it sure does, make sense that is to go to bed at 9pm, but not only that, what I have been learning and it is a constant one, that it feels very loving and honouring to go to be when you feel tired, to not push yourself when you are feeling tried and get distracted in the evenings.

  62. I find it is not so much the time I go to bed but also the way I go to bed and the way I have been living my day. The early hours of the morning are also a very magical time of the day that so many of us miss out on.

  63. I love re-reading your blog. Last night I just felt tired and for the first time in a long time I honoured that. I think I went to sleep about 8pm and that was after a lovely long bath and reading in bed! I just knew my body wanted a really quiet night.

  64. Crazy how society bombards us with the notion that we should stay up late because then “the good things” start: watching movies, tv program, late night eating, dinners, going out, clubbing etc. The day after our normal working day that you should make it all complete. The truth is: it wears us out, it’s stimulation and not something the body, our best friend, ask us to do.

  65. Serge Benhayon’s work is very confirming, as often he speaks about things that we all already have felt or know, something we all universally feel like how our bodies naturally want to sleep by 9. When we make what we feel or know to be true our daily choice it’s like a good medicine in our lives. Universal Medicine is a very apt business name for Serge!

  66. Interestingly – I watch my 11 month old after bed time, and if she does not go to bed on time – then she becomes overtired and it is so hard for her to go to sleep. And like you Jane, she will need to drink or eat something to go to sleep. So our bodies are wise to the fact that after 9pm is sleep time from a very young age.

  67. It is so true we change our natural rhythms to be with others when all the time the quality that we have with others is not great because we are over tired or irritable etc.

  68. I used to be quite fixated on being in bed by a certain time and making sure I got a certain amount of sleep. Lately I’ve let that go and simply go to bed when I feel to. I don’t always wait until I’m tired, I check in with myself and my body. It’s generally between 8 and 9 but there is no fixed agenda, I let my rhythm and body lead. What I’ve discovered is that when I do this, my body gets what it needs. Sometimes I wake at 5, others times 2am. If I’ve honoured what the body needed the day before, I wake refreshed.

  69. I am finding that if I focus on a time, or make going to bed time a rule, then it just becomes a race against time to get things done and fast tracks me to not be with myself. Versus when I actually allow myself to feel what time I go to bed it is a lot more loving and supportive.

  70. If we have not lived our day in the fullness of who we are, we will seek to stretch it for as long as we can in an effort to feel we are ‘getting something from it’ instead of bringing something to it.

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