Going To Bed At 9 pm Makes So Much Sense

by Jane Keep, UK

Ever since I was a teenager I always got so tired by mid-evening. I would see my parents fall asleep on the couch around 9pm, and I too felt very sleepy at that time. I would hear other parents joking with each other that they fell asleep around 9pm too, in front of the TV…  yet they would continue their evenings until 11pm or maybe later. In fact, my parents used to get a coffee and cake at 9pm so as to stay awake for a further few hours. 

As I grew up I found that most social things happened in the evenings, and as I got into my twenties, the social nights out actually never started until 9pm: so I used to follow the crowds and do the same. In order to do this I needed to use something to keep me awake, such as drinking tea or eating chocolate. I did, however, find that I was always struggling to stay awake after 9pm, even with chocolate, cake or tea. I even tried a little alcohol to keep me awake, but that didn’t help me either. I would sit watching my friends leaping about when we were out, while my whole body just felt like going to bed.

Then came my relationships, my two marriages. Again, by 9pm I was always struggling to stay awake, and my partners would say “but if you go to bed now we won’t have the evening together”, so I would override what I felt by using tea, chocolate or cake so that I could stay awake and keep them company – whether watching TV or going out to a pub or movie.

It was always a strange feeling for me to be up or out after 9pm; it was as though my body had begun to shut down, yet I was still using it. It always felt like the ‘twilight zone’ after 9pm – a kind of eerie feeling. I found it hard to focus, and caught myself on a number of occasions falling asleep while driving after this time. The push to stay up made me feel constantly on edge, and by the time I got to bed I was so overtired I often needed to eat something to put me to sleep. But this put me in a constant daily cycle of sleeping restlessly, feeling exhausted when I awoke, and over time feeling resentful towards myself and others for doing this.

During all of this I would often say to myself, why am I not going to bed when I am tired? Yet it kept on going; it continued to place a toll on my wellbeing, and I was irritable too. What I found was that, when I tried to stay up later, the quality of my sleep was always deeply affected, as was the quality of my day, and the next day.

Then one day, at one of the first presentations I attended by Serge Benhayon, he talked about taking care of ourselves, our bodies, and that the most natural sleep rhythm for our bodies was to be in bed by 9pm, this being the time when our bodies were able to rest and gain optimum healing during the night: being in bed by 9pm and then waking up when our body was ready. This for me was one of my life changing moments, and made so much sense. I could now feel that my body, since being a teenager, had always been asking me to go to bed around 9pm. My body sighed hugely with relief. What I had always known, but had over-ridden, I now realised was my natural rhythm – I realised I wasn’t the one who was abnormal, as there was a natural truth in our biological make up whereby being in bed by 9pm was normal.

From that day forward I gave myself permission to go to bed when I was tired, and in particular to go to bed around 9pm. At first, friends, relatives and my family would nag me, but over time they all just got used to me going to bed early. If I was going out for supper with girly friends they would meet me at 6.30pm, and when I went out for meals with my mum we would go for lunches, or when I went to the movies with anyone it would be a Sunday afternoon.

I absolutely love being in bed by 9pm, and I love taking the time early in the evening to go into a restful phase prior to going to bed. I love the mornings whether it is 4 am or 5 am; to hear the birds singing, or to hear the quiet crispness of the day beginning before all of the usual daily noise/traffic sounds. It really is the simple things that make a huge amount of difference. Nowadays, I feel so much less tired than I ever did, and my body so much appreciates snuggling up by 9pm.

I now absolutely know I would never change my now normal sleep rhythm. I am always appreciative of the inspiration I have had from Serge Benhayon in confirming my natural sleep rhythm, that which my body had been telling me for so long.

1,173 thoughts on “Going To Bed At 9 pm Makes So Much Sense

  1. Giving ourselves permission is all it takes to break away from the status quo and begin choosing to support ourselves.

    1. Absolutely Brendan. It is crazy how we can ‘fight’ this rather than simply going with what feels so natural to our bodies. But when we do choose to give ourselves permission, it ultimatley not only supports us, but supports all those around us too.

    2. Great point Brendan, and to stay open, and curious in our day as to why the things are the way they are, supports us to realise that just because something seems ‘normal’ it doesnt mean it is the only way. I love how this then opens us up to realise we have so much more choice in life than we choose to be aware of.

  2. The nights that I allow myself to indulge and stay up late, either to read a book, potter around in my bedroom or just been unorganised, I can feel the affects throughout my whole body the next day. It is like I am carrying around this drag behind me. That feels like its heavy and not light and bubbly like I am by nature. So it is about focusing on sometimes when I become obedient to that old pattern in the evenings, to stay up late, to focus on what and how I will feel the next day.

  3. I naturally went to bed 5 years ago at around 9pm because of the way I lived at that time. This became a choice I hold very dear, because I know how much my body has been supported by it, and it was deeply necessary for me especially during that time. My life has changed recently, and going to bed at 9pm may not always be possible, but instead of choosing to feel overwhelmed and self-critical, which at times I must admit I did, was to feel into the whole situation deeper. I constantly ask myself, if this is what life presents to me for a greater purpose, how would I choose to live? In joy and acceptance or in resistance and fighting? And so I chose to even heed a closer relationship with my body, to be aware of its needs and to accept it, and be gentle and understanding of it even deeper than ever before.

  4. I love the science of early to bed – not only does it make total sense it absolutely nourishes my body. There are times when I need to stay up later , or I am travelling – but it makes no difference to my vitality because of the great sleep rhythm that has already been established.

  5. I remember as a child having a shut down moment when we ate out relatively late on summer holidays in European countries. We would eat late and with all the heavy food my eyelids were often shutting at the table. I remember not enjoying walking home from restaurants because all I wanted was to be tucked up in bed.

  6. Last night I went to bed at 8pm and fell asleep shortly after 9pm having read this blog. I’ve woken up feeling refreshed, light and energised and it’s a great reminder that overriding my tiredness is a fruitless exercise as I don’t get away with it even if I think I do.

  7. Recently I went to a friend’s birthday lunch where after lunch, some friends played guitar and sang. It was the most gorgeous afternoon, and I was home by around 5pm. Had we done this in the evening over dinner, it would have either been a later night, or we wouldn’t have had the beautiful music because it was getting late. So I’m a huge fan of daytime get togethers so I can be in bed around 9pm.

    1. I agree Sandra. Also sometimes in the evening I am trying to get things done and nowadays I realise if I simply surrender for an early night, then I rise early and get things done twice as quickly feeling fresh and ready for the day.

  8. Even though it makes so much sense to go to bed early it is all too easy to slip into a habit of staying up to have that ‘me time’ at the end of the day. However we don’t always make the connection that a seemingly harmless late couple of nights can have far reaching ramifications on how your week will play out – how you cope with the challenges that arise, how we then impact on other people, how our food choices are affected – seeking caffeine or sugar to falsely recreate a version of energy to get us through. – and all the further consequences from those choices. It is a downward spiral that can easily be avoided through the simple listening to and honouring of our body’s signal to rest and rejuvenate, to be able to awaken refreshed and restored ready for the new day.

  9. It is a simple act going to bed by 9pm. A lifestyle change that I stick too and has made the vastness difference to my health, wellbeing and vitality. It’s free and so very natural.

  10. Just as I read this line – “I love the mornings whether it is 4 am or 5 am; to hear the birds singing” – a bunch of kookaburras went off! with their gorgeous cackle…..looks like they agree with your sharing as well!

  11. My body sighed hugely with relief. What I had always known, but had over-ridden, I now realised was my natural rhythm – I realised I wasn’t the one who was abnormal, as there was a natural truth in our biological make up whereby being in bed by 9pm was normal. So true and so confirming and a joy to read and live sharing the beauty and clarity of the early mornings is also is amazing.

  12. Yes!… totally agree as going to bed at 9pm offers a brilliant routine and ritual as it brings one back into their sleep-wake cycle that is incredibly supportive to all their body systems, I have discovered that the body loves routine and sleep habits is one sure way of establishing self care.

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