Going To Bed At 9 pm Makes So Much Sense

by Jane Keep, UK

Ever since I was a teenager I always got so tired by mid-evening. I would see my parents fall asleep on the couch around 9pm, and I too felt very sleepy at that time. I would hear other parents joking with each other that they fell asleep around 9pm too, in front of the TV…  yet they would continue their evenings until 11pm or maybe later. In fact, my parents used to get a coffee and cake at 9pm so as to stay awake for a further few hours. 

As I grew up I found that most social things happened in the evenings, and as I got into my twenties, the social nights out actually never started until 9pm: so I used to follow the crowds and do the same. In order to do this I needed to use something to keep me awake, such as drinking tea or eating chocolate. I did, however, find that I was always struggling to stay awake after 9pm, even with chocolate, cake or tea. I even tried a little alcohol to keep me awake, but that didn’t help me either. I would sit watching my friends leaping about when we were out, while my whole body just felt like going to bed.

Then came my relationships, my two marriages. Again, by 9pm I was always struggling to stay awake, and my partners would say “but if you go to bed now we won’t have the evening together”, so I would override what I felt by using tea, chocolate or cake so that I could stay awake and keep them company – whether watching TV or going out to a pub or movie.

It was always a strange feeling for me to be up or out after 9pm; it was as though my body had begun to shut down, yet I was still using it. It always felt like the ‘twilight zone’ after 9pm – a kind of eerie feeling. I found it hard to focus, and caught myself on a number of occasions falling asleep while driving after this time. The push to stay up made me feel constantly on edge, and by the time I got to bed I was so overtired I often needed to eat something to put me to sleep. But this put me in a constant daily cycle of sleeping restlessly, feeling exhausted when I awoke, and over time feeling resentful towards myself and others for doing this.

During all of this I would often say to myself, why am I not going to bed when I am tired? Yet it kept on going; it continued to place a toll on my wellbeing, and I was irritable too. What I found was that, when I tried to stay up later, the quality of my sleep was always deeply affected, as was the quality of my day, and the next day.

Then one day, at one of the first presentations I attended by Serge Benhayon, he talked about taking care of ourselves, our bodies, and that the most natural sleep rhythm for our bodies was to be in bed by 9pm, this being the time when our bodies were able to rest and gain optimum healing during the night: being in bed by 9pm and then waking up when our body was ready. This for me was one of my life changing moments, and made so much sense. I could now feel that my body, since being a teenager, had always been asking me to go to bed around 9pm. My body sighed hugely with relief. What I had always known, but had over-ridden, I now realised was my natural rhythm – I realised I wasn’t the one who was abnormal, as there was a natural truth in our biological make up whereby being in bed by 9pm was normal.

From that day forward I gave myself permission to go to bed when I was tired, and in particular to go to bed around 9pm. At first, friends, relatives and my family would nag me, but over time they all just got used to me going to bed early. If I was going out for supper with girly friends they would meet me at 6.30pm, and when I went out for meals with my mum we would go for lunches, or when I went to the movies with anyone it would be a Sunday afternoon.

I absolutely love being in bed by 9pm, and I love taking the time early in the evening to go into a restful phase prior to going to bed. I love the mornings whether it is 4 am or 5 am; to hear the birds singing, or to hear the quiet crispness of the day beginning before all of the usual daily noise/traffic sounds. It really is the simple things that make a huge amount of difference. Nowadays, I feel so much less tired than I ever did, and my body so much appreciates snuggling up by 9pm.

I now absolutely know I would never change my now normal sleep rhythm. I am always appreciative of the inspiration I have had from Serge Benhayon in confirming my natural sleep rhythm, that which my body had been telling me for so long.

1,301 thoughts on “Going To Bed At 9 pm Makes So Much Sense

  1. I too felt the struggle to stay away after 9/10pm – my days are so much simpler without ending it with a struggle and the 1hour, sometimes more, trying to get to sleep. These days I shut my eyes and gone, this is amazing.

  2. If I go beyond when my body is tired by distracting myself the knock on effect on the next day is huge. I am bringing far more attention these days to winding down at the end of the day so that I wake up feeling ready for the day the next day.

  3. I’ve always been in bed early, ever since I was child I would not enjoy late nights and remember being out late in restaurants in the Mediterranean with my parents on holiday longing for my bed. The thing is now, I dont flinch at the concept as I’ve given myself permission to go to bed whenever I feel tired, regardless how early it may seem to others.

  4. Getting enough quality rest for me makes such a difference to my day the next day that if I end up having a few late nights then I do my best get to bed early in the nights in between, the problem is I can often get caught in what ‘needs to be done’ rather than honouring the rest that I need.

  5. This is my favourite blog as I too so love the honouring and living of going to bed early and how it effects my life and the quality of this is so beautiful and is a basic stability for me always.

  6. It is true that my body tells me it wants to be nourished with sleep by around 9pm. I could still be feeling energetic at 8pm, but once it hits 9pm, my body changes. And yet, our choice and commitment in our rhythm is a special relationship we have with ourselves and with the world, relationship is the key. So this is something I am being aware of and learning every day. There is no perfection and definitely no rules, but every choice there is an intention and there are consequences, in being patient in accepting my choices, this is a deepening of relationship with myself.

  7. Oh to be in bed by 9 pm consistently or have truly restful sleeps every night.. I used to very consciously prepare myself for bed and would definately be in bed by 9 – but sometimes things just take priority and this can’t be achieved although the benefits are amazing.

  8. I remember when I was a teenager, going out for the evening/night around 9pm when my parents were cosied up by the fire in front of the TV and often feeling I would actually have rather stayed in, in the warmth of the house and gone to bed around that time rather than gone out. But I allowed the pull of the excitement and entertainment that lay ahead of me to always take over, and eventually became a night owl, sleeping late and then feeling pretty wrecked for most of the following day to do it all over again the next night. This pull to restfully go to sleep around 9pm is so innatley within us all, yet we put so much effort into overriding it, and for what? Crazy when you think about it.

  9. How readily we compromise on our body’s core rhythm, the very basis of supporting ourselves in daily life and rather, negate, push through or override the very clear feedback our body is constantly supplying. How different our day, and life will be when we live in accord to our bodies true rhythm, flow and heed our true calling and impulses.

  10. When we over ride the body’s natural rhythms such as the sleep cycle we put many other body systems out, such as the nervous and hormonal systems, we can also become quite emotionally reactive and lose brain function.

  11. Winding down before bed is indeed just plain common sense. What we have to be careful about however is how we wind down because I know from experience that getting involved in a TV story line for example is not winding down. In fact it brings more nervous energy, which does not support the body at all.

  12. Simply knowing ahead of time the 9pm time to go to bed offers such a solid beat of the rhythm that consequently, everything pre and post this choice drops into a natural state of order and flow.

  13. Jane, I agree with you here; ‘It really is the simple things that make a huge amount of difference. Nowadays, I feel so much less tired than I ever did, and my body so much appreciates snuggling up by 9pm.’ What I have found since I have been going to bed early and waking early is that I rarely get tired in the day, I generally feel well and have noticed that people around me often say they are tired, even exhausted and I just don’t have this anymore. I love going to bed around 9.00pm, it feels truly and lovingly supportive.

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