by Carmel Reid, BEng DMS CertEd MCMI, Somerset UK
When I was a young child, I was occasionally offered the opportunity to sip some wine. It didn’t taste nice to me.
At some point, in my late teens/early 20s, I started to drink. I don’t know why I overrode my body’s natural dislike of the alcohol, I can only assume it was in order to be like my friends, who also drank. Unfortunately, I would often drink too much and end up being sick in the most embarrassing places.
To avoid further embarrassment, I reduced how much I drank and sometimes avoided it altogether: I would use the excuse of being the driver and that was accepted.
From my sober state, I would watch my friends drinking and getting louder and louder: it was funny but somewhat disturbing to see highly intelligent (Mensa level) men and women get drunk and have what they were convinced was an intelligent conversation. It made me wonder… how loud was I when drunk? Or, more importantly, WHO was I? It’s as if another being had taken over these people… did that happen to me, too?
Doctors say drinking alcohol ‘in moderation’ is OK, but once we start, do we ever really know when to stop? I’ve seen young kids outside a school disco collapse in the street because they’d been drinking; I’ve seen adults who’ve had strokes or who have diabetes continue to drink, despite doctors’ warnings. We have all heard about road accidents and domestic violence linked to alcohol consumption. Is it really OK?
In 2005 I stopped drinking alcohol altogether. I’d been learning a lot about the physical effects of alcohol in the body, and it all made sense to me. I wasn’t drinking much by then, because I didn’t enjoy the headaches and general muzziness I would feel the next day, so it was easy to stop. Some people treated me as if I was a bit weird, but over the years it’s become easier to say with confidence, “No thanks, I don’t drink”, and they don’t challenge me any more.
To be honest, I haven’t missed it – I still have lots of fun, and I’m sure my liver appreciates the choice I made!
181 thoughts on “Alcohol – It’s More Fun Living Without It!”
We all know that alcohol is not beneficial to our body – despite the regular theories that are claimed in the news – let alone all the time wasted recovering from the effects of alcohol consumption. Saying ‘Yes’ to caring enough for our body to not drink alcohol brings many benefits.
Cool. Super wise blog and intelligent choice. We must also ask ourselves: what makes us seek alcohol? What does it really do to our psyche and do we actually know what effects it is having on us? Do we really want to know? With all we have seen and heard already – what are we really choosing in life that lead to the consumption of alcohol? Let us be humble and wondering of why we consume such substance – whilst knowing the high harm it does. .
It is shared here, how Carmel really didn’t like the taste of alcohol, but still choose to drink. I myself can say the same, so much so that I almost always mixed any alcohol I drank with sweet mixers. This brings me to my question, how many of us are doing the same? Over riding we actually don’t like alcohol, buy adding sweet drinks to it so we can drink it to fit in with our friends?
With levels of illness and disease escalating out of control, why do many people still continue to drink even though it is well known that alcohol is a poison and bad for our health?
Alcohol was chaotic for me. It never did me any favors and made we worse off. Many say they were ‘good times’, or we had to try it, or it is a part of growing up – a learning phase. My life is 100 x times better without alcohol and getting better as each day goes on.
I wonder how long it will be before alcohol becomes socially unacceptable such as smoking did many years ago. I am not sure this will happen in the near future, as there is too much at stake and too much greed and corruption around alcohol sales. When I picture a world without alcohol it feels very different, more harmony, more loving relationships amongst family and couples and a level of self-care and self-love that many would naturally embrace – I know it reads like a dream now but one day this will become our reality when enough stand up and express the truth around the true harms of alcohol especially the ones who hold the power and authority to do so.
When we choose to honour our senses over anything else (like being popular) our bodies thank us and we feel the benefits. Over the years I’ve notice this can occur with anything, once we let go of our attachments often the behaviours and choices our bodies preferred we not make we have more space to listen to those wise messages from the body.
It is very interesting how much peer pressure there is around joining in when it comes to alcohol, and how much it is associated with having fun, whilst truly as you say the joy of hanging out with friends for me only started when I stopped drinking alcohol and started to join alcohol free events, which gave me the opportunity to really connect with others.
With all the evidence about the harms of alcohol, to our bodies, our psyches and societally, you’d think that such conversations as you’ve raised here Carmel would be far more commonplace than they are.
We hold onto its consumption with a tenacity that calls us to question what really is going on with such a prevalence of consumption. Why do we harm ourselves so? There is a societal addiction here that speaks of deeper issues we mask and try to deal with through its use, and a longing for a ‘feel good’ that in truth, doesn’t do us any good whatsoever.
I did drink a lot. I thought I like the taste, I thought it is a pleasure and I thought I like the results of being more relaxed and see life as more easy. But my life was not so great. I was not joyful, had not true harmony in my life, my relationships where dissatisfying and so on.
Then I did start to discover and build on this qualities in my life – I did not want alcohol anymore, as it did numb me and now I had something I did love to feel and be aware of.
Now I found the taste and smell of alcohol very disgusting. Nearly can’t believe anymore that I did hold it as a pleasure….
Alcohol changes us. So much so that I remember when I chose to stop drinking alcohol many years ago, it took me quite some time to start to know who I truly was without it – particularly in social situations where alcohol was being used. All I knew was that i didn’t like who I was when I drank it, so that was enough to keep me committed to my choice to stop.
We also consider this to be a good time. But really how can it when we make ourselves so sick or so drunk that we don’t recall the evening. I have definitely been there too Carmel and it feels very freeing to know that I no longer have to drink alcohol to fit in.
We think drinking alcohol and partying with it is fun, but that is only because we have lost our connection to the joy and exquisiteness we have within and how much fun it is to express this and let it out. We only need to look at a young child and feel their joyful expression to understand that no outer substance is needed to enhance or interfere with that.
The serious negatives cannot be argued when it comes to alcohol for they are so overwhelming widespread, they leave many scratching their heads as to why it is even legal. You can’t help but wonder what the world would be like without the alcohol related statistics that affect us all in some form or another whether we drink or not. I can’t help but think we’d be a lot more advanced in all facets of life than where we currently are.
Absolutely true Samantha, we would have a significant drop in violence, sexual abuse, suicide, murder, car accidents, sick leave, illness and disease and all these damaged body cells could instead be put to use by supporting a unified human race working together so that no one would have to starve or suffer unnecessarily.
It’s been ten years now since I last drank alcohol and I love my life without it. Our bodies do not really need alcohol in my view and the fact that we know they have to eliminate the toxins is the clearest evidence of this. It’s interesting that people will ask why we don’t drink when in truth the question should probably be turned around to ‘why do you drink?’ We have normalised something that is harmful to our bodies to such an extent that making the self-loving choice to not do it is questioned.
The fun we can have without artificial stimulants is the best kind! Think about everything we use for ‘fun’ and ‘entertainment’ – alcohol, drugs, TV, music, Movies, games..nothing compares to simple old fun, which is a joy in the body.
In our culture, alcohol is considered a way of relaxing and socialising; its numbing effects on the body are felt but still considered desirable. Our culture promotes drinking alcohol at any social occasion. It seems as if it is one of the hardest things for most people to give up; even if they are drinking alcohol in moderation. I gave up drinking alcohol six years ago. It has been the loveliest gift to myself. My body feels younger, more healthy and energised, playful, joyful and I have more fun, as I now can feel connected to and can appreciate the ‘real’ me.
Carmel, I cannot but wonder about your friends with Mensa level intelligence wanting to numb their senses with alcohol… why would you want to dull that sort of brilliance – it does not feel that logical or intelligent to me.
A rich subject of much interests and actually a subject that is more popular in a way than it actually should.. Crazy actually, as it is used to be described as a substitute of enjoyment .. So we have twisted the real facts around of what it is.. We must ask ourselves, where have we gone wrong?
Thank you Carmel for sharing your story, drinking causes so much havoc in peoples lives while destroying the body, I have seen people change and become another person while drinking. It was great that it was relatively easy for you to stop drinking, some would like to stop but the struggle to do so is so great that they feel defeated before they start.
Carmel you wrote: “To be honest, I haven’t missed it – I still have lots of fun, and I’m sure my liver appreciates the choice I made!” It is such a strong belief that alcohol can help to have more fun – as children most of us had fun without alcohol. So my question is: What happened to us when we grew up? Where is our ability to have fun without alcohol?
It’s like with any thing that we turn to, to not feel our hurts, or emptiness or even to squash our amazingness so not to ruffle any feathers… we will find that one article or scientific proof to justify why it is okay for us to have it.
It’s interesting to look back and see with more clarity why we drank or drink alcohol. For me, like a lot of people have shared in their comments, I didn’t like the taste of alcohol or how it made me feel. I trained myself to except it much like I did with coffee because I was now an adult and that’s just what you do. They both felt like a drug running through my veins when ever I drank them. One would make me feel extremely racy which would catapult my anxiety through the roof and the other would make me feel lethargic, comfortable, and like I was overrun by something else. I never drank much but when I did I can clearly remember it was to not feel awkward around others, especially as a lot of the conversations when alcohol was involved weren’t funny or interesting and it was quite lonely. So I joined in. I stopped drinking alcohol about six or seven years ago and have never once looked back. Why would I want to miss out on being with myself or someone else.
I used to drink alcohol as a way of feeling comfortable in social situations, to quell the anxiety and emptiness I felt primarily because I had no connection to me. Since coming across Universal Medicine I’ve learned that that’s what I was missing: me – trusting and honouring myself and the knowing deep within. There is nothing, be it food, exercise, alcohol – whatever distraction – that, for me, is worth severing that connection (without perfection). And it doesn’t make sense to put a toxin like alcohol into a body that would never ingest it by choice neither from a physical nor energetic perspective.
It is a strange phenomenon that doctors will say drinking in moderation is ok. Scientifically it is a poison, so how is that ok? From a doctor’s perspective, looking at what the liver has to do with one drink, is it really ok for our health experts to be saying go for it?
When I accepted (and honoured) the fact that I didn’t actually like drinking, it was such a relief. I no longer had to keep up the socially acceptable game I had been playing.
I love the point you make about ‘knowing when to stop’ drinking’. Alcohol is a poison so the truth is that we are in trouble from the first sip and yet we kid ourselves believing we can moderate a poison.
Working in corporate I am often seen as strange because I don’t drink, but that is the affect alcohol has on people, its not that they think I am strange, but that they can’t imagine a life without alcohol. Life without alcohol is easy, cheaper, and more honest.
It is surprising and rather sad what most of us will do just to fit in and be seen as ‘normal’ even though we know it is not good for us. Serge Benhayon presents the simple, true and undeniable facts about alcohol and the energetic impact. Now many are inspired by the teachings and by example for it to be increasingly ‘normal’ to choose to say ‘yes’ to being who I am which means saying ‘no’ to alcohol.
Brilliant blog Carmel you expose the myth about alcohol associated with having fun. I have tried alcohol but never took up drinking because my body reacts to it severely. So from what you’ve described drinking doesn’t sound like any fun at all. The symptoms that come with it sounds horrendous. I have more fun being myself than pretend to be someone else.
I was in the thrall of alcohol for a long time. Sometimes I didn’t drink and sometimes I did. I have not had a drink for a really long time now, I made a clear choice to stop and it was surprisingly easy. I do not miss it at all. There are events I am not invited to and I really don’t mind. I enjoy feeling good each day. I enjoy knowing I am doing the best for myself. I enjoy knowing that I am taking responsibility for the way I feel and the way I am present with others.
I decided for myself at quite an early age that I didn’t like alcohol. At university whilst others spent hundreds getting drunk and throwing it back up again, then spent days recovering, I used to go out with them but drink water. They all thought I was mad and couldn’t understand, but not once did I mind or once regret my choice. I always woke up in the morning ready to go and debt free. How can that be criticised or condemned?
Initially I never drank as my observations of others and how they changed under the influence of alcohol was enough to put me off. It wasn’t until I was in my late 30’s that I started to have a glass of wine. It was all about fitting in but I also knew consciously that I liked the moment of warm fuzziness and state of ‘no inhibitions’. I understand now that alcohol became a part of my life because I was choosing to live a life that was not honest and true and the alcohol relieved the daily tension in which I lived. Living alcohol free allows innate joy and presence to be a part of my life consistently. I have now claimed a connection to who I truly am and this means living with energetic integrity and responsibility. My life is beautiful.
Your blog reminded me that I was granted a sip of sherry on the odd special occasion when I was little. Because it was seen as a treat and the hallowed domain of the adult, alcohol became something to aspire to, to grow into and to join in through. So I just followed the crowd into the unquestioned social relationship with alcohol, decades later deciding that I really didn’t enjoy the emotional and physical after effects and from there going through realms of backlash from friends for making the choice to quit for good. It’s a decision I have never regretted and I can say with absolute honesty, one of my best.
I never drank much alcohol and my son used to joke that after two I would be under the table! (Not literally!) I never enjoyed the taste and would go for sweeter drinks like shandy rather than beer. At celebrations people still try to persuade me to drink a toast with alcohol and when I politely decline, some get upset as if I am spurning the happy couple – or whatever we are celebrating. Isn’t it strange that socially we are accustomed to celebrating with a poison?!
Great blog Carmel, I agree we can certainly have fun without alcohol. I have done it pretty much my whole life and I don’t feel like I have been missing out on any fun. I can actually remember what I did as opposed to being blindly drunk, sick and not remembering anything. The idea that you have to drink alcohol to have fun is a poisonous illusion. Being really sick, having headaches, feeling fuzzy and memory loss does not sound like fun to me.
Let others drink, but never should we accept anyone pressuring us to do so!
Simple as that.
I work designing people’s kitchens and I am always fascinated by the people who want a place to store all their wine, want wine racks or wine fridges. Usually it is the middle to upper class people – it feel as if it is a way to impress people by making it a centre point. Something you can show off to your guests, how amazing your wine collection is. Sure it may be amazing but you are way more amazing. It is one of those ingrained behaviours we get into not really knowing how be fully ourselves around others and so we want something to take the edge off. It is a sad state of affairs that so many of us rely on alcohol to give us this relief from life and social interactions rather than being able to fully enjoy each other’s company unencumbered by any substances or outer influences.
Life has been less complicated since I stopped drinking alcohol, the hangovers I used to experience were so bad that I can’t believe I ever drank again. Giving up alcohol has been the best decision I ever made – and my health, well-being and energy levels improved greatly.
Thank you Carmel, I agree, I stopped drink 23 years ago and my health and vitality reflect that. When I used to drink it was the stuff horror stories are made off.
Alcohol is one of the most evil drugs on the planet to my taste, because of the fact that it is socially accepted. And after 15 years of not drinking it gets more and more horrific to see and feel what truly happens to people who drink and to the people around them.
Yes I agree felixschumacher8. The damage alcohol does to our bodies, our lives and everyone around us is detrimental but still socially accepted and even expected, so we have a long way to go to bringing awareness and willingness to accept the fact that alcohol is a poison to us in every way.
There is a general feeling that alcohol in moderation is OK and people can often talk abut someone they knew who was in their 90s and still ‘going strong’. But if the effect of alcohol is so numbing, which is why we drink it in the first place, just how much of life do we miss out on in those 90 years?
It’s been years since I’ve had alcohol and never do I wish I could have just one glass with my friends. I too Carmel over rode my body by drinking it when I was young just to fit in, and as I got older just because it was what one did. It’s been one of the simplest things to stop for me once I honored my body. It’s crazy that I over rode it for so long.
A short, sweet and simple blog Carmel. The body simply doesn’t like or need alcohol and claiming that honouring of what our body knows to be true, without feeling ‘weird’ or ‘the odd one out’ in a world that doesn’t bat an eyelid to such a substance, regardless of the rates of domestic abuse, road collisions and detrimental and exacerbating affects of our health, is worth appreciating!
I feel sure if livers could talk – the stories would be unrepeatable. Our bodies will freely share how we are living – we know when we have over stepped the mark with our (numbing) habits – illness, disease and many disorders/dysfunctions of the body are all too ready to spring into action. As you share Carmel a clear verbal ‘NO’ is all that it takes – the liver breathes a sigh of relief.
Drinking is so not cracked up to what it’s supposed to be – relaxing, calming. I found it used to make me hyped and racy until I had too much of course. And the next day the anxiety would hit. Funny thing is I drank for years which I’ve now gladly stopped – for good. Since then I’ve had a whole new lease on life, making that choice was the beginning of a whole new way of being.
I remember when I first gave up drinking alcohol, and friends would try and insist on buying me a drink, having felt back in reflection to then, I would simply say “no I don’t drink” yet I know now that I said it almost in way of an apology. Now when I say, “no I don’t drink” or ” no I choose not to drink” I say it with confidence in a totally claimed way, no hint of an apology, just me confirming my choice.
I’m ever again impressed how people (including myself) are able to say no to such an addictive drug as alcohol, being so widely socially accepted. The healing most definitely comes from the understanding, why I wanted the alcohol in the first place, why I allowed others to put me under pressure to drink. And Serge Benhayon is the first person I met, who supported me to understand and not in merely finding ways to suppress the need to drink.
I had a similar experience Felix, when I would stop drinking people would say wow that’s great you don’t drink and then would proceed to drink themselves! People always wonder how you can live without it. I wonder how you can live with it! For me it depleted my body so much I would feel exhausted for days after drinking, sure at the time I would get the buzz but I would have to pay for it. The only way I found and I am sure many others are or were in a similar boat is to continue to drink so you keep getting that buzz or lift from it. Otherwise you just feel rubbish!
I now will share that I love that I don’t drink alcohol, I used to be shy about it and awkward now I just don’t hold back, I bloody love the fact I don’t drink, its one of the best things I have done for myself and my body. I Love that every morning I know I will feel clear and awake not poisoned. There is no comparison to a life with drinking for the body and one where you do not drink the body LOVES NOT DRINKING. period, no moderation, just straight out loves to be sober! As a nature intended!
That is awesome to claim it like that Vanessa, me too – I used to feel horrendous when I was drinking and make a complete idiot out of myself – I a so glad those days are long over!
Giving up Alcohol was one of the wisest choices I ever made – and one my body is grateful for as well. I never really liked the taste of alcohol but felt the need to drink due to peer group pressure and wanting to fit in. When I look back at the times I would destroy myself through drinking too much and feeling terrible the next day, what a waste of precious time, money and energy. Life is definitely more fun, loving and clearer without the harms of alcohol in it.
I wholeheartedly agree Carmel. Life is so much more fun without it. I’m sure drinkers on the other hand would have a different opinion, being one myself who championed the amount I could consume, drinking the boys ‘under the table’. I would pride myself for being able to keep up and control myself and think I was having the time of my life with no inhibitions. It was only when I began to be honest with myself that I needed the alcohol to have good time that I started to ask what was going on if I couldn’t just be me. Stopping definitely opened a can of worms but it lead me to the opportunity to truly heal and deal with a lot of things that I wasn’t previously ready to understand and feel. Life has become so much fuller, truer, more joyful, vital and calmer without alcohol in my life.
Most people understand that Alcohol is not that great for you but there seems to be this ideal that if you drink one glass of wine with dinner and don’t get rowdy then that is socially acceptable and in fact harms nobody. This blog begins to challenge this concept but I would like to expand a little further….To quote you Carmel
“We have all heard about road accidents and domestic violence linked to alcohol consumption. Is it really OK?”
The answer is NO its not okay. If this is a massive heath epidemic that is affecting the whole world/ our next generation, why would we be so stubborn as to want to cling to a glass of posing at the end of a day to numb us, over standing firm together as brothers and say NO to alcohol. For every person out of ten that is “okay” when it comes to alcohol consumption there are 9 others that can’t stop; make a fool of themselves, get in an accident, have an affair,hit an animal while driving, worse killed a person while driving, spoken down to someone, punched them, dis honoured them, had a tattoo they regret,been involved in domestic violence the list goes on….If we took this seriously then we would band together as a society and say and renouncing NO to Alcohol.
That is essentially what Universal Medicine students are doing in there own quiet way and in your choice to stop is another powerful quite beautiful NO which I know makes a difference.
Thanks Carmel. I’m sure many of us start drinking to ‘fit in’ and overrode our bodies clearly telling us that it does not like it one bit, sometimes with the subsequent vomiting when the body says it has gone well beyond being able to cope with processing it. When I look back on my ‘party years’ where I used to drink a lot, I realise I was masking the pain of missing myself and numbing what I was experiencing in life. It’s not regret, it’s just acknowledgement, and the truth is now that I truly and deeply love who I am, I simply have no desire or need to drink alcohol. And life is truly fun without it – for me, that’ s a fact.
If I am to nominate the most embarrassing moment of my life, there are quite a few and they all happened when I was under the influence of alcohol. I used to think fooling around being drunk was funny – but I can now see the craziness of using substances to numb myself in order to avoid and to bury the hurt I was holding, and consequently behaving in ways that I would only regret afterwards, while punishing my body to deal with all the toxins that I was accumulating while I was at it – how I managed to think any of this was fun, I don’t know.
I recently attended a wedding celebration event where not a drop of alcohol was consumed, and the atmosphere was delightful – fun, sociable, respectful and simply gorgeous as everyone was able to express themselves in their own way, with no competition, no comparison, and no need for any stimulants or drugs to boost their confidence. The photographs everyone took are a great record of the fun that we all had.
Great Carmel, very awesome to celebrate in this way. If we stop to see and feel the truth of how we celebrate, we actually have more fun and are able to have deeper connections with people when alcohol and other stimulating substance are not present. People can just be themselves.
There is a huge industry that depends on people buying their product even though it is poison to our bodies. Like the tobacco industry, the alcohol industry is running an immoral game but as long as people keep buying their products and the profits are rolling in, the business will continue. Rather like the dairy industry, and the sugar industry, it will be interesting to watch as more and more people become aware of the harm they are doing with the foods and drinks they consume, and turn to more healthy options.
I totally agree with you Carmel, life is definitely far more fun without alcohol, not to mention far more true and healthier also….and there is no doubt that my body completely agrees with this fact!
I totally agree – it is better to not fit in rather than be dependent on this mind altering substance that not only wrecks your liver but many lives and relationships in the process.
I never enjoyed drinking alcohol. I did it to ‘fit in’ or be ‘liked’ by those around me. So when I made the choice to give it up, some what fourteen years ago due to my health it was an easy decision to make for which I am eternally grateful.
With an honest open look at the facts around the health and behaviour implications of alcohol, should it really be such an acceptable part of society today?
What I seen in people when they drink and the hangovers people get afterwards, the un-sustaining fun and happiness and the lack of commitment to the daily practical life we are here to live, makes me see alcohol as no fun at all. To enjoy more of my life moments is far greater then getting wasted and supposedly enjoying a party then having to recover afterwards.
Thank you Carmel for your blog, you have made a great choice, I am sure every part of your body loves you for it.
Carmel, as someone in my youth who used to collapse after drinking too much, I convinced myself that I enjoyed it. Yet that was not true. I can absolutely say life is more fun, lively and enjoyable without alcohol. Perhaps as a young child that felt sick on the sip of a glass of wine I already knew that, but just ignored it.
Very honest sharing David. We do tend to convince ourselves with regards to many things in life so we can join in with what everyone else is doing. It is so amazing that you are no longer choosing this but being so beautifully honest and inspiring us to do the same.
Carmel, you make two great points, the overriding of the dislike of alcohol when trying it for the first time and the fact that once you started dropping it is not necessarily easy. Regarding both, I find interesting the extent to which there are taylor made statements on that moment: regarding the first, inviting you to override the dislike in the name of the future. My story is very similar to yours in a sense, first time alcohol (with 18 years plus) I found it simply horrible, beer was particularly disgusting to me. Same thing with cigarettes and, yet, I started enjoying it more and more. Quitting smoking was super easy. Quitting alcohol too. Regarding the second point: never got wasted, never got drunk. My body was too strongly telling me to stop. Not even the ‘loosening up’ side effects were convincing enough to keep me going.
Living it and being felt as the super gorgeous woman you are, Carmel, is leading the way.
When I gave up I have had very similar experiences – of watching in disbelief at what happens to people when they get drunk. When I’m out in the evening, you can be having a great time with one set of people through to about 7 or 7.30pm. Then the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you are having a conversation with a totally different set of people… more boisterous, louder, more emotional (less sensitive), and less aware of what they are feeling. Just not themselves anymore.
Simonwilliams8 I found the same thing and came to think, well what is the point being with people when they are drunk or have changed. I remember being at a close friends house all day we had a great time, then when people came around later and everyone started drinking he completely changed and consequently so did our relationship – it is fascinating to see how much alcohol can change and affect our senses, awareness and behaviours.
Now that I’m not drinking the affects alcohol has on people are more obvious. It’s quite disturbing to feel people change (sometimes quite significantly) once they begin drinking and are taken over by the entity that enters them.
Great blog Camel, I chose not to drink from an early age because of how my body reacted. I can totally relate to what you said about watching people change as they drank more and more. On a night out with my friends they seem to change as the consumption of alcohol increased. They change to someone I didn’t recognise, it was like they have been taken over by something else. It was a strange feeling at the end of a night out for me as I watched my friends become strangers. I didn’t stop going out with my friends because I didn’t want to miss out on having fun. But most of the time at the end of the night I felt I was having fun on my own with stranger around me. Now I have come to realise that alcohol is extremely damaging and dangerous to consume as it affects our health as well as our behaviour. If we look at the statistics it is shocking the devastation it causes.
There are 2.5 million alcohol related deaths globally per year and that’s not including the illness and injury to millions more. The landscape would certainly look different without it. Kudos to you for saying no more when the opposite is the norm and for sharing how enjoyable life can be without it. Awesome.
Wow Samantha, that figure is devastating – 2.5 million people dying in the world each year as a result of alcohol…and yet a glass of wine a night with dinner is still considered healthy? It doesn’t make sense.
Thank you Samantha, these figures are astonishing. Could this be why alcohol is promoted so much to cover up these facts?
Carmel I love to have my glass of red wine and I always had the feeling that this would calm me. I love the smell the taste – everything. I do not like it to be drunk because of the headache and all the other awful things I feel the next morning. So why did I need this glass of wine to calm me down and not find something else instead. The thing was I was trapped in the belief that one glass of wine did not harm me and that it was also good for my health. I could feel that more than one glass of wine was not good for me but I was numb in my body to feel that even one glass was harming to it. So it was Serge Benhayon and his presentations that helped me to see behind this belief I held.
This is such a familiar story for me Carmel, as I too never liked alcohol but ended up drinking to fit in with my friends. I found I would drink it with other substances to try to mask the flavour and make it more appealing, but still I always felt gross and I hated the feeling of not being fully in my body. Today I love the fact I don’t need alcohol, my life is clearer, truer and more me without it.
Awesome comment Jade, it made me think how many people feel what you felt? How many young people actually dislike the taste of alcohol and drink to just fit in? I used to want to drink when I was younger to fit in with my friends but my body was not having any of it, it reacted to alcohol extremely, so I decided to listen to my body and fit in by being myself without alcohol. I thought if my friends couldn’t accept me for who I am then they were not my true friends. So by fitting in with my friends for me was about being myself all of the time.
You are right Carmel, I once saw myself drinking on video and is was horrifying. I was a completely different person and it wasn’t pretty. I love living without alcohol as a part of my life now.
I know Leonne, it’s so much more rewarding being yourself. AND waking up feeling fresh and alive! So worth it!
Mattsjosefsson, me too I love “waking up feeling fresh and alive!”. No more hang over daze states not knowing my right hand from my left hand!
I think this would be a great remedy for lots of people, or maybe even part of the national curriculum… get a video of people who have been drinking too much… how we can embarrass ourselves, make little or no sense, be sick, and how we feel rubbish the next day, and make that the subject of the class.
You are right Simon. People find listening to their own voices and seeing themselves on video difficult at the best of times. When we see ourselves intoxicated it is incredibly confronting. For me it was so obvious that I was not ‘myself’ at all.
I’m not so sure, simonwilliams8 – I’ve seen people laugh at other’s antics when drunk – but maybe a full picture of someone vomiting in her boyfriend’s lovely new car might have an effect, or maybe models/pictures of healthy and not-so-healthy livers. The trouble is, our bodies can take a lot when we dull our sensitivities, so we think we have ‘got away with it’ and continue abusing ourselves.
Thank you Carmel and Simon, I agree, a video of me in my youth driving home and pulling over to be sick! True story and I lost count of how many times this happened to me.
Interesting you share this because when we drink we are no longer ourselves. To have the opportunity to see how we behave once alcohol is consumed can be quite shocking because we may not recognise ourselves. Alcohol takes us away from being who we are it is very sinister when we realise what we are choosing.
Thank you Carmel it is definitely more fun living without alcohol and more to the point I can remember the fun I have had rather than being lost in a drunken haze!
Thank you Carmel for sharing your experience. It’s crazy the things we do to fit in. I was never able to drink as much as everyone else as I would feel the effects very quickly and feel very sick the next day. However I always tried my hardest to keep up with everyone, just to fit in. I did this until it just did not make any sense to keep doing it as the pay off was not worth it anymore. I now can’t even comprehend drinking alcohol as I love how I feel now way too much to compromise this feeling.
Awesome Carola, it is important to note that when we feel amazing about ourselves we are less likely to destroy this amazing feeling with substances like alcohol. This was the very reason I chose not to drink alcohol as a teenager because I loved being who I was. If we could support our teenagers to connect to who they are and value themselves more and more, I am sure we will see a change in the current trend of high percentage of alcohol consumption.
Yes Carmel, having alcohol or not is a no brainer
Thank you Carmel. Yes I too watch as colleagues who inspire me can also confuse me when they drink too much and behave in a way that is not them and childish. But I was like this too not so long ago. Drinking meant bonding. Thats what I enjoyed most about it – feeling part of something. But I realise now that I also have a choice in how I treat my body, and that is more important than anything.
As I started to see this, my body rejected alcohol more strongly to the point where even a sip effected me the next day.
All because I opened up to the possibility I was more than what I was drinking.
I don’t judge anyones choice to drink, they still enjoy it like I once did, but I know in my body I am being far more loving now than ever before.
I remember as a child hating the taste of alcohol when I was offered a ‘sip’ and thinking how can adults drink this, I never will. But I did for many years. I’ve been alcohol free for about 10 years now and don’t miss it at all.
One of the scarier things I came across in my work as a social worker is Korsakoff’s syndrome, which is basically dementia caused by drinking excessive alcohol. If anyone has ever seen anyone suffering from Korsakoff’s syndrome it would certainly make you think twice about alcohol and binge drinking.
It’s quite extraordinary that drinking is still so accepted as a way of life – and very few celebrations are organised without alcohol playing a major role. I also stopped drinking sometime ago and I sat back and observed people as they drank – which just confirmed to me that I to had been living in a way that was so foreign and untrue to who I really am. Being free of alcohol is way more fun – I feel fantastic at social events where there is no drinking – and I wake up the next day feeling marvellous. Some difference!
I drank on and off for 17 years. I was either partying very hard or super crazy healthy with detox’s and zero drinking or smoking. I could never consistently stay away from my unhealthy choices until Serge Benhayon presented the truths about alcohol, and I could feel in my body they were true. From that moment on I did not drink again. At times I missed the frequency of social gatherings, but when I was around them I felt sad to watch everyone become so loud and not themselves. 6 years on I can now go to social events, concerts, or party’s and not be effected by others choices to drink, I don’t stay very late and I connect with people without alcohol in my system. Quitting alcohol has been one of the best things I’ve ever done.
Growing up in Ireland, where alcohol was usually synonymous with having a good time, I was very surprised when I found out, this was not the case. This happened when I was in my forties, while sharing accomodation with a group of Asian students, none of which drank alcohol. We had some wonderful times together, without a drop of booze in sight. This was an invaluable lession for me, on the importance of being aware of the beliefs that I have bought into.
I really struggled with giving up alcohol, it was a decision I felt was being made for me due to some physical issues I was having, and to stop drinking alcohol had been a recommendation from doctors and the like. So it felt like I was not doing it for me, really me. It was over time that I was able to feel in my body just how much I did actually feel better from not having alcohol. I haven’t drunk for such a long time now – over 5 years, that I even consider it. During that time, I was able to claim more within myself, loving choices and feel into what alcohol was actually masking and protecting myself from feeling. And come to realise that my body was sharing with me that it really didn’t like alcohol and I have learned to respect what my body is sharing with me.
This is a great question you ask here Carmel…’Doctors say drinking alcohol ‘in moderation’ is OK, but once we start, do we ever really know when to stop?’…for me, my binge drinking led to black-outs and in those periods of time, I would have no recollection of where I had been nor what I did. Only when I was told of my disgraceful?(and it was) behaviour the next day did I get to see what my evening had looked like. Drinking alcohol can be ugly and I ask the question ‘why intoxicate (stupefy) ourselves to the point of being unrecognisable to our families and loved ones?’…
I had a similar experience to you Carmel, in that I didn’t like the taste or smell of alcohol or how it seemed to change people but decided that ‘fitting in’ was more important! When I quit drinking altogether it was such a relief (finally listening to what felt true for me!), I can still socialise and have fun with my friends, in fact I have more fun now.
I am with you there Carmel, my experience has been very similar – at a very young age I was given run and coke (except I liked the taste), and still liked it as an adult – but what I did not like was the feeling I got when drinking, not to the forget the awful hangovers – the effects of which would last for days. So I took to drinking only at christmas, and a couple of times a year, here and there.
These days like you, I have no worries about confidently saying “No thanks, I don’t drink”, and leaving it at that.
Great article Carmel. There seem to be so many more hours in the day now I don’t drink alcohol anymore. Probably because I can remember more of those hours.
That is interesting Natalie how much alcohol affects our memory but so many people are not aware of this and the other harmful effects.
I stopped drinking alcohol nearly four years ago and I have never missed one drop of it. I just had a lovely new year’s eve yesterday with redbush tea and some water and I woke up this morning with a clear mind, a vital body and looking forward to the day. Making the choice to stop drinking alcohol is one the most loving choices I have made in my life.
‘stop drinking and start living’ great words Fiona, sums it up beautifully!
Yes Carmel, wise words indeed!
I stopped drinking in my mid 30’s and have never looked back or wanted another drop. Life without alcohol is fuller and more vital and I appreciate every moment that brought me to the decision to stop drinking and start living.
So true Fiona, I stopped 7 years ago and it is the best choice I ever made. It was from this choice that I became honest about how I truly felt about myself and the world and I was able to work towards understanding and healing why I needed the alcohol in the first place. It is a sobering thought to know that most people who drink do so because it makes them feel ‘better’. How lost must we be to make a poison socially acceptable based on it numbing and hiding the way we truly feel?
Carmel this is great, stopping alcohol is definitely one of the best decisions I have ever made, I made excuses too and more and more I was disturbed by what I saw when people drank, and the way they behaved, and had the same thought, did I do the same when I drank? I knew I did not feel myself. Making the firm decision to not drink again, essentially I began to give myself back to me – a huge gift.
Speaking of gifts, I find it weird how we give people a ‘gift’ of alcohol – would you give someone a bottle of arsenic for a present? Although alcohol won’t kill them immediately, it is harming, especially if it takes them away from who they truly are. I love that you have given yourself the gift of you and being all of you – that is the best gift we can give ourselves and humanity.
Hi David, interesting how youngsters use alcohol for confidence, perhaps we as parents can do more to help our children feel confident simply for being who they are.
Great point Carmel, when we feel confident to be ourselves we are less likely to seek altering substances like alcohol and drugs. So to confirm ourselves, our children and friend’s to be who we are is incredible way to support each other.
Great Blog Carmel. I drank from my late teens onwards because it gave me the “confidence” to do things I would not normally do. I thought I became a more open and talkative person – but didn’t really consider what I talked about! Unfortunately not one to just have one drink I would also end up “blanking out” for the night only to be told of the horrific stories by friends. Since stopping drinking around 10 years ago I’ve felt more energised, am much more pleasant to be around and am building a new confidence in myself.
Life is much more amazing without alcohol – I abused it throughout my teens and onwards, not because I enjoyed it but because it was an escape from feeling how miserable I was, funny circle to go round, feel rubbish, drink, feel even more rubbish …. until it came to a point my body actually said enough is enough, stop – not my head.
I had stopped drinking so much but would still have the occasional one or two that actually felt horrible in my body, so much so that even after one drink I would be sick straight away – my body was clearly telling me it no longer wanted this, so I simply listened and stopped. There’s not one ounce of doubt in me or any cell in my body that I would ever want to drink alcohol again, I feel more amazing than ever, people are often amazed and asked if I miss it, and I can truthfully say no. Living the way I do now, knowing what I know, feeling so much more and also how amazing I feel, I would never want to go back to feeling anything less.
Hi Gyl, that’s amazing how your body gave you such a clear message to stop, leaving you in no doubt.
I agree Gyl. As I read this I am really appreciating how wonderful it is that alcohol is no longer a part of my life. It is extraordinary considering that I struggled so hard too, to give it up. I don’t miss alcohol at all and absolutely celebrate the fact that I no longer drink. Even strangers now comment that they cannot imagine me drinking, it’s so obvious that alcohol does not belong in my body.
Funny I also only started drinking in my late teens / early twenties, to fit in with my friends and I hated the taste and how I felt but I really wanted to fit in so I persevered. Looking back now it seems mad, my body was clearly saying no, but I over-rode it and had many un-needed horrible hangovers because of it.
I finally got to a point in my early thirties when I had a drink one night and just said ‘I don’t like this, let’s stop’ and I did. And it’s been amazing, I’ve not drunk alcohol since and I don’t miss it. I am more me, have conversations I can remember and my body feels great. It’s not even a question any more when people ask, it’s just ‘I don’t drink’ and I’m fine with it.
Carmel thanks for an awesome sharing. And Dragana, I love that line from Moby Dick ‘sober cannibal vs. drunk christian’ cracked me up.
Hi Monica, it makes every day the same all day when we remember everything because we are not ‘out of it’ and we wake up each morning fully refreshed.
Carmel, I love this, thank you.
Gosh yes Carmel I adore waking up free from any alcohol induced headaches and awfulness, I used to suffer horrendously and yet drank for 20+ years! Now waking up and always knowing what, how and who I went to bed with is truly wonderful, it doesn’t mean I always awake with the joys of spring but I know how I got to be where I am upon waking and that is remarkable.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your experience with alcohol. I never really liked it either and would feel the drain/tiredness in the days following drinking. As a teenager everyone was drinking so I got caught up in it. I remember stopping drinking for a few months and people either thought I was mad or were like wow I wish I could do that. But then I would succumb to those around me and start drinking again. It was not until meeting Serge Benhayon and developing a deeper relationship with my body that I could say no without hesitation to alcohol. Sure friends dropped off but those were/are the ones who valued the late night drinking over our relationship and that’s fine. I would far rather have a fully present loving conversation with a friend then a gibberish one when either one or both of us are under the influence. In the 50s or earlier alcohol was referred to as a poison – ie. ‘what’s your poison’, at least here the harmful effects were not being soo disguised. Research now is coming to the conclusion that alcohol in any amount is not good for the body – now why wait for science when our body knows the ill effects and harm it causes us?
Amazing, ins’t it, James, how we try to fit in and be like our friends and adopt behaviours that are not great for our bodies?
I know … it’s fascinating. Alcohol is a more obvious one, but even laughing at someone’s joke when it may be at the expense of someone else and does not feel right, is at the expense of our bodies. There are so many subtle ways we change, I know I have and do, around others to fit in instead of fully staying true to myself and what I am saying; all to ‘fit in’ and not be rejected.
Often I have met people who think they need to drink to be more themselves but the opposite is true. You loose connection with yourself and others when you choose to drink. It just gives people a false image that they are connecting when they are actually not.
I don’t drink either and it fascinates me that people can at times react to this choice. I don’t mind being around alcohol if others choose to drink… so why are some peoples choices so judged by others?
Choosing Sobriety has been one of the best gifts I have given myself. And even though this choice has enriched my life beyond measure, I do not rant, brag or campaign about it. It is just that: My Choice. As a result I have been able to connect with Me and other people in my life in a wonderful way that had never been possible when alcohol did feature in my daily, weekly, monthly living.
I remember a line in “Moby Dick”: “Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunk Christian.” My preference exactly 🙂
You had me laughing out loud there Dragana!
Staying clear and connected with myself and connecting with people on a more truly intimate level, both of which were removed from me when I drank, are enormous plusses which I love the feel of since removing alcohol from my life. Give me a sober cannibal any day!
Yes I also hated the taste of alcohol but overrode this so I could get out of it, out of what one may ask… I certainly have in more recent years.
Life certainly feels better when you know it is really you speaking and not those brain addled somebodies that seems to be pouring nonsense out of everyone’s mouth when they have chosen to drink heaps of alcohol, Carmel.
I made a choice not to drink a while ago too and what I love is the clarity and real sense of self I have now. You are so right about how embarrassing it can be to be drunk, or sick, I am not sure why this is still so widely accepted in our society as ok, when clearly it is far from it. I’m sure our livers would also agree. 😊
Thank you Carmel,
My relationship with alcohol was very similar to yours. I didn’t start drinking until I was of legal age 18 and only did so because that was what my friends were doing. I never enjoyed the taste and would rarely have more than 2 drinks as my body struggled to process the alcohol and I would fall asleep before I got chance to drink enough to be loud and obnoxious. As I got older I would also prefer to be the designated driver so I could avoid having to drink. It is amazing how we choose to override what feels right for us just to fit in to what society classes as the norm.