by Toni Steenson, Coraki, Australia
When I was growing up I was taught a lot about God – I learnt about God at home, at school and at church. What I learnt about God never quite fit the picture for me, and now I am coming to know God more intimately I understand why.
I learnt when I was young that I was a sinner and that I was evil. If I did not want to be bad I had to work at it very astutely, as my natural way was one of sin: so good was I at sinning that I was told that God had to sacrifice his only son to teach me, and all of us, about Love.
What I now know is that I am naturally Love and that God’s Love lives inside me and impulses me to be who I naturally am. Of course, I can choose not to listen to this Love that lives inside me, and often do, but this in no way takes away from the fact that I am Love, and no matter what I do, I am still naturally Love.
I am not bad or evil and I am not a sinner that God had to sacrifice his only son for: if we are all part of God, does this not mean that we are ALL the sons of God?
I also learnt that God would punish me for my sins: I know this is definitely not true as, from my relationship with God I know that when I choose to do something that is not loving towards myself or others, God simply just keeps emanating his Love so that when I am ready I can also choose to emanate that same Love. One thing I have come to know about God is that he is so patient and he has no need for me to be in any certain way.
I was taught to fear God: that he was something far away and scary and that he could grant me things if I prayed to him and was good. I now know there is nothing to fear of God as he is a part of me and my equal, he lives within me and treasures me more deeply than I know or choose to treasure myself. I also know that God cannot grant me anything, but rather offers me free will so I can choose to grant myself through my everyday choices.
So much of what I learnt about God when I was young was not just wrong, but the complete opposite of what I now know to be true. How can this be, that from three different sources I was taught the same mis-truths?
How I know all of this is not because someone told me, but rather I have chosen to build and have an intimate relationship with myself; through this, my body has shown me all of this, and so much more.
- I have listened to how I feel about situations and occurrences… and not discounted these feelings.
- I have taken time to do Gentle Breath Meditations and then, to the best of my ability, lived from this quality.
- I have taken time to listen to my body, so when it is tired I rest rather than listen to my mind, which may tell me I need to keep going.
I am forever great-full to Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon, Miranda Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and many others for inspiring me to build this intimate relationship with myself and God – for me there is no blessing greater.