by Kate Maroney, Melbourne, Australia
For the first time in more years than I can remember, I feel like I am free to choose the life that I want.
Up until recently, I had a problem with sugar. It wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that I was addicted to sugar. I was preoccupied throughout the day with when and how I was next going to be able to eat chocolate, cake, biscuits etc. If I wasn’t thinking about when I would next be able to eat one of these things, I was preoccupied with how much I hated the cycle that I was in. Every time I ate something containing sugar I told myself it would be the last time. That this one would ‘fill up’ the emptiness that I sought relief from and I could move on… but each chocolate, biscuit or cake I ate only made me want more… and more… and more. I actually can’t remember when this cycle started, but it went on for at least 12 years.
I had tried many times before to ‘give up’ sugar but here is how I finally did it…
With some help from Serge Benhayon and some other amazing people I began to examine why sugar was such an integral part of getting through each day. I came to realise that I was using sugar to try and distract myself from feeling that I wasn’t ‘ok’. Up until that point, I hadn’t felt that I really was ‘ok’. It took some time for me to really feel that not only was I ‘ok’, but so much more than that again.
I discovered that the essence of me is truly amazing, but the way that I had been living for so many years (without caring for myself properly) did not confirm that the incredible light I felt inside me could truly be the essence of me. I remember someone summing it up beautifully for me…. they said that I was seeking sugar because I was ‘missing the sweetness of Kate’. Finding my own sweetness opened up the possibility to not need sugar to enjoy my day, because within me was all the sweetness and beauty I needed.
Once I started believing that I, as well as my body, was worth nurturing, I was able to start choosing to not eat a substance that was harming me. I also started supporting myself in other ways so that I was more readily able to say ‘no’ at the times when I most wanted sugar. I started looking at all the things that were leading to my being exhausted during the day, such as going to bed late and frenetically rushing from one thing to another throughout the day. I also started nurturing my body by doing things gently and with grace – rather than stumbling and clunking through daily tasks.
Now, I don’t even want sugar. People can be eating it all around me and I am not remotely moved to have any myself. My body generally vacillated between feeling buzzy and dull when I was eating sugar, whereas now my body feels a lightness and a stillness that I rarely experienced then.
A ‘bonus’ to my choice to give up sugar is that I now feel an incredible potential within myself. My problem with sugar was the most formidable thing in my life. There are so many basic things that I felt were out of my control because of the lack of control I perceived I had over my ability to not eat sugar. Since giving up sugar, I feel for the first time like I am piloting my own star ship (or plane if aviation is more your thing than space travel), and I really can choose for myself the life that I want to live.