Recognition for Doing: The Blueprint of my Life before Universal Medicine

by Alison Moir, UK

I have been active all my life, and when I say active I mean doing… I was always doing something. Looking back it was the only way I could be seen, be recognised. Doing for me meant physical.

At the age of 9 or 10, I was out all day working at a stable in the possibility that I might get to ride a pony back to the field. I now see it was because I wasn’t happy at home, so to get away, doing became my way to escape, to not feel what was really going on. There was an underlying blueprint in my life that to get on in life, to succeed, you had to ‘do’.

I wasn’t encouraged to have dolls, to wear pink, to be a girl – as long I was doing then I was seen to be ok. I was left alone. If I saw girls being ‘girlie’, I saw it as being weak – as silly and a waste of time. So from the very beginning of my childhood I was encouraged to do… not play, not have fun.

This I took into my adult life, being busy, working hard. The trouble with this is that you forget about yourself, everything becomes being what someone else wants you to be. I learnt to be a chameleon – I changed myself to fit in with everyone, to accommodate everyone so that I would not make waves, so that I did not upset people. All the time I was doing, I was losing the real me. Somewhere deep inside I knew something was not right, but the whole world was busy… so where do you look to find something different?

Life became a chore, a way of getting by.

By the time I got to 30, my life was already mapped out, and I went along with it. 40’s… and I knew something wasn’t right. I would make changes, but they changed nothing, so I would fall back into my old pattern, ‘the doing’, so that I didn’t have to question how my life really was.

My wake up call came when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, and after 3 years of trying to fight it, in the year 2000 he died. I began to question so many things – why did my husband get cancer? Why was life such a struggle? Why is there this empty feeling inside of me, that won’t go away? Now I wanted answers to my question that I had been asking throughout my life: Is this all there is to life? There has to be more.

By now my health was not great: I wasn’t sick but neither was I well.  After several years of trying alternative medicine and modalities nothing felt right – it didn’t change what I was feeling inside. All the time there was this underlying giving-up, a sense that nothing really worked, so I began to make my life as comfortable as possible. Working for myself was a great comfort as I could do as much or as little as I liked, avoiding situations that I didn’t want to deal with and in doing so, slowly opt out of life. I was no longer accountable to anyone.

Learning to be me again

I am now nearly 57 and for the first time in my life I am enjoying it: why? Because I have re-claimed me. It has taken nearly 10 years to find me in the malaise of what I had allowed in my life to take me away from me.

I now work in a busy supermarket where I am accountable to everyone. It exposes all the little things in me that I kept hidden from the world. This is not all bad because it is also bringing out the real me again – not the one that wants to please and be liked for what I am doing, but the loving woman who does care about humanity.

To peel back all the layers of me not being me has been very exposing: to unravel what has been imposed on me through life, all my ideals and beliefs I have carried with me. To accept responsibility for my choices and my actions has at times been painful to reveal, but I knew there was nowhere else to hide and I knew that I could not turn back from something I knew to be true. My questions were being answered and that is what kept me going through the not so easy times.

I could not have done it without the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and all the amazing practitioners. Why? There was very little in life that was reflecting back to me that how I was living my life was not true. Everywhere I looked people were living a similar life. No one seemed to be asking the question, let alone having the answer.

Thank you Serge and Universal Medicine for standing by me, showing me it is possible to know me again… and in finding me I have found the answer to my question.

151 thoughts on “Recognition for Doing: The Blueprint of my Life before Universal Medicine

  1. “I could not have done it without the inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and all the amazing practitioners. Why? There was very little in life that was reflecting back to me that how I was living my life was not true. Everywhere I looked people were living a similar life. No one seemed to be asking the question, let alone having the answer.” That is what Serge Benhayon offers us, that there is another way to live and that there is more to us and life than we want / allow ourselves to see.

  2. I very much relate to this sharing in the sense that I also found horses and stables to ‘do’ things when I was young and get away from home. I also became the chameleon and invested hugely in adapting to peoples needs. And now I also feel the difference in saying no to this, and for the first time I know who I am and my qualities – it is not just about the doing.

  3. I was the ultimate do-er and I was really convinced that was what life was about. But it wasn’t until I came across Serge Benhayon that I began to see what was driving the incessant doing and that was the need for recognition. It made total sense, as I never used to feel I belonged anywhere, the proverbial square peg in the round hole, and the doing was a way to get people to see and need me. How exhausting and emotionally draining that was and a ‘blue-print’ I am totally re-drawing.

  4. I can relate very much to a similar blueprint and being driven to keep busy in the doing of life to be able to cope with the tension of something not feeling right and giving up that there was another way to be. That is, until coming across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who taught me to look within myself to know who I am first rather than adapting to I thought the world needed me to be and then feeling anxious all the time in not being myself.

  5. I agree Alison there is very little if anything in life to reflect to us a true way of living, that is with the exception of the Universal Medicine practitioners and its student body. Here we have an international body of people living their lives to the best of their ability, in a true and loving way.

  6. Alison it is very touching what you have shared, the journey from childhood through life, and now returning to your true self again. I’m in the same process and have moments where I feel the purity of my essence just as it was as a baby and little girl, it’s true that it’s in there still untouched by what we have been through, even though we must peel back the layers of hurts and ideals and beliefs we have built up around it.

  7. Gorgeous to read this Alison and how clear you were on the old blueprint that kept you going round in circles. Very inspiring message you deliver that when we find ourselves again, everything we need for this life is already inside us…and the key to access all this is through our hearts.

  8. I can very much relate to this article and the deep feeling inside that something was just not right. Learning that the something was that I was missing being the person I could feel I was inside, compromising and bringing parts of me out, and holding myself at bay to fit the life I had were the greatest hinderances to feeling and living the natural joy I have inside.

  9. Yes, we are all so caught up in the life we live that we do not even consider that there is another way, and that is exactly what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine bring and offer, that there is another way and that we do not have to continue on the road we have done so far but can make new choices and build consistency and true love in our lives.

  10. I love the idea of having a blueprint for life, a underlying, detailed, amazing map for life, that describes in intricate detail what is important to us and a plan of where we’re going and how we’re going to get there.

    1. This somehow reminds me of all the fantasy and science fiction movies. How awesome and and expanding for everyone would it be if they were built on this kind of blueprint.

  11. Thank you Alison, I enjoyed reading your blog. I could relate to this line “Working for myself was a great comfort as I could do as much or as little as I liked, avoiding situations that I didn’t want to deal with and in doing so, slowly opt out of life.” I have also done this and what I am learning is how important it actually is to be uncomfortable at times because it’s a necessary part of evolution, to challenge us and to bring up the hurts we have carefully managed to not feel and deal with by creating a life of comfort. Being out there in life is where the learning happens.

  12. Losing ourselves in the doing is so easy in a world that is all about doing, looking to the next thing, multi-tasking.. I’m pretty good at getting things done but if I do it in loads of drive and push, I leave myself behind, and then I feel grumpy, tense and disconnected at the end of the day, and then I’ll want to numb those feelings. What supports me is staying connected to my body throughout the day, doing one thing at a time, with my full attention and focus, rather than getting lost in distractions along the way. Then I end the day feeling pretty amazing – much more vital and energised.

  13. Peeling back the layers of our ideals and beliefs that hold us to ransom with their consciousness is definitely an ongoing and at times uncomfortable way to live your everyday life. But nonetheless this discomfort is far better than the alternative of living blindly in accordance with them and accumulating additional layers that also will inevitably need to be peeled back at a later date. Best not delay and just get on with it now instead of making it even harder for ourselves later.

  14. “Life became a chore, a way of getting by” – this feels like how so many of us think what life is about. We fear death, but we live as if we can hardly wait for the day we die. No matter how much we achieve and how busy we get, if we are empty of ourselves, not knowing or connecting with who we are, life feels very empty and pointless.

  15. I totally relate to the doing, I was so caught up in achieving something I was constantly moving on, from one thing to the next, until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, when I realised that it was in fact nothing about the doing at all, it was all about the quality we are with ourselves first.

  16. My life is in many ways a mirror of the life that you describe, where doing is used relentlessly to cover up the huge chasm of emptiness that would be felt the moment the doing ceases. I too always knew that there must be more, but had no idea that the more was living with me and inside me all the time.

    1. Doug it’s a great description you have made here “where doing is used relentlessly to cover up the huge chasm of emptiness that would be felt the moment the doing ceases.” The emptiness is something I knew but couldn’t understand, not until I met Serge and began using the Gentle Breath Meditation and the Universal Medicine Therapies and reconnected back to myself, to the essence of who I am within. What I realise now is how much that emptiness has to do with so much of life, self harming choices like alcoholism or smoking, overeating, withdrawing from life, etc, the list goes on and on. Reconnecting to who we are is definitely a universal medicine.

      1. I guess it is an emptiness that we are all aware of and will do just about anything to not feel. Yes reconnecting to our innermost self is the way to replace that emptiness with a fullness that is so grand.

    2. I, too, can re-iterate that what is described here is a mirror of me and, “where doing is used relentlessly to cover up the huge chasm of emptiness that would be felt the moment the doing ceases” was such a familiar feeling and I could not have imagined that the answer lay all the time within myself. Serge Benhayon, like for so many, was the mirror in which I learn to see myself in truth.

  17. “Is this all there is to life? There has to be more.” So many of us ask ourselves this question and go on a quest seeking high and low for the answer. Serge Benhayon presents the truth that the answer has been there inside us all along waiting for us to re-connect to the inner truth of who we are.

  18. When you’ve gone from hiding to claimed, you just have to get out there and offer inspiration to others to do same! It seems to be the next natural step – and what better way than in a supermarket. I love your story Alison, thank you!

  19. This that are set up from young and at the time we see as simple and possibly insignificant. It’s like you start something and this sets in process a chain reaction that then needs to be continued in order to not see the start. You could say there are many choices where things changed or you could see it as one choice that then needed a similar choice again and again to justify or cover the first one. I can relate to this article and the start of the doing, it starts young and simple but by the time we grow we have made it a whole way of being in the world. It always comes to points where we can turn back and look what we have created or push ahead and keep going. More and more people are choosing to turn back or at least be aware enough to look over their shoulder. As the article is also saying, the turn back is well worth it and answers many questions which in the end is possibly only one question, who truly am I.

  20. I too was very good at doing from a young age and and being the peacekeeper and good daughter. All of these titles still gave me recognition for things I did and allowed me to put others needs well before my own for most of life. Saying no became apart of my new vocabulary and feeling more what will support me and how I move day to day offers me so much more freedom and the need to be recognised for what I do has diminished as I see how important it is to simply be me and move from that quality everyday to the best of my ability.

  21. I too was a little girl who wanted to join the ‘boys’ club’ which included lots of ‘doing’ in the world to prove my worth. Now what I do has purpose, and I have a much deeper connection to the woman I am. To the best of my ability, how I feel and where my body is at comes first, not what I think I should be doing to achieve an outcome.

  22. What can come with realising we are accountable to everyone is a greater sense of purpose and responsibility, an appreciation of ourselves and the interconnectedness of us all. I have been working in a shop for over two years now and I love how we support each other and work as a team.

  23. How lovely that the true you is emerging, ‘it is also bringing out the real me again – not the one that wants to please and be liked for what I am doing, but the loving woman who does care about humanity.’

  24. Being taught by life to be accountable to everything is a precious lesson. As love has to be equal across the board with everyone. No situation can ever be avoided, every choice matters.

  25. Many people live and have lived a life of doing, to get the recognition they crave, in the process they lose their real self, this in itself exposes this way of living is not true.

  26. It is a great point you make, that in all our doing we forget who we are. This is sad but true as in our obsession to be recognised through what we do, we have overlooked the reality that the greatest confirmation of who we are already resides within, and is with us everywhere we go and with whatever we do. There is no greater love to be found than the connection to the love that we already innately are within.

  27. It’s just amazing to be able to look back in life and see what you thought you enjoyed, and didn’t enjoy, and go ‘actually…’ and at the same time with no sense of regret or remorse – because now you do know what true joy is and you are choosing to live that instead. Beautiful, Alison.

  28. Serge Benhayon’s lived ways and powerful reflection offers humanity a way to live that is truly loving and joyful in every way – what a blessing it is to have this opportunity for us to equally choose this grand love and to live a true life.

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