Caught Speeding

by Ariana Ray, Wales, UK

I was fortunate to be caught speeding in 2012. Not many people think they are fortunate to be caught speeding. It’s usually a big annoyance. Here in the UK, we usually get a hefty fine and points on our license for road offences like this. However, on this occasion I was offered a choice – a fine, with points on my license OR attend a re-education half-day workshop. For me it was a no-brainer – who wants points on their license that stay for 3 years? I opted for the workshop and most unexpectedly – it blew my little socks off.

The workshop had a big effect upon me. I was given the wonderful opportunity to come face to face with how arrogant and up myself I was about driving. I was able to see that I held the view that the road was there for me and me alone and speed limits were irritating things to play nice with only when there were speed cameras around. I got to see how I felt other drivers and pedestrians were a pain in the… I got to see the full extent of the arrogance I have had all my life around driving and it shocked me. It was not pretty. It was like having a slap around the face by a big wet and sloppy 20 pound fish. It certainly woke me up to where I was and how I’d been living with and in my vehicle.

On this workshop I learned that speed limits are about taking care of the community I live in and the communities I drive through, of honouring the fact that pedestrians, including children, are at risk from moving vehicles and need to be taken care of as they walk, run and play. I learned how vulnerable the body is to moving cars and that hitting a body with a car is not an option for me. I was able to understand that speed limits reflect dangers to people, not annoyances for me.

Looking back on my previous view of the roads I can see how self-centred and ridiculous my arrogance was. Who I really am is not like that, yet here I was, allowing this to be me. It was time for me to take responsibility for my actions and choices and to stop blaming the road, the speed limit and everyone on it for why I am late, why I choose to get racy, agitated, frustrated, or ‘get’ any other way when I drive – I did this, I made this the way I got around in my car. This was a BIG STOP for me, and I am grateful that I let myself stop at the workshop and not be stopped in a way that could be far more damaging to myself and or others.

When I met Serge Benhayon eight years ago and started to attend Universal Medicine courses, I was introduced to the concept of self-responsibility. At these courses, Serge explained the meaning of this in a way no one had, up until that point. Back then, for me responsibility meant bringing my 4 children up single-handedly; it meant taking responsibility at work… it was all about hard work and carrying a weight of something. Gradually I began to understand that self-responsibility is about being aware of what I was doing and making decisions around what I had chosen and that I don’t have to act the way I always have. I got to understand that if I am aware of what I’m doing and how I am being, then I can choose how I will behave and act… like choosing to be gentle and tender with myself, and choosing to be consistent with everyone I meet.

Attending the courses and watching Serge Benhayon live the way he does, simply shows me who I am too. He holds a reflection up for me to see.

In a recent article written on another blog by Anne Malatt (Road Rage), a phrase really resonated with me:

“I have come to learn to let people in. Not just literally on the road, but into my world, into my heart, as my equals, as fellow human beings. So, when someone pulls out in front of me, I let them in. I realise they are in my world for a reason, even if I don’t understand what that reason is…”.

For me, what Anne presented is another layer of truth and awareness to help me on my journey.

Now I drive in a different way and my understanding about how I drive is developing a greater awareness of how I can be myself without reacting to business and the pressures of my job, or reacting to needing to be somewhere quickly: in other words, without obeying the world’s demands to be in it’s time, but taking my time, naturally. This way I can stay present with me when I drive. When I notice the old arrogance creeping in, I slow right down and make the choice to be with me. I’m learning to be gentle, and to let people in.

214 thoughts on “Caught Speeding

  1. I love the honesty of this blog Ariana, I drive long distances about once a week for my work and I enjoy driving but at times I find myself speeding not because I am late but just because I can. There is still an arrogance in me that creeps in on these drives, I am learning to stay more connected to me as I drive so as I can be more aware and responsible and not get caught into the rush and switch off.

    1. Anna, you write ‘I am learning to stay more connected to me as I drive so as I can be more aware and responsible and not get caught into the rush and switch off.’ It’s worthy of celebration to become more aware of what drives us, awareness is everything and to discover these pearls is worth gold.

  2. Before I met Serge Benhayon I got speeding tickets, too, from time to time. Interestingly I didn’t get one since I met Serge Benhayon. Although I never heard him talk about speeding, for me it is a natural reflection to be more caring on the streets when I am more caring with myself, which I learned with Serge.

  3. Great topic to cover Ariana. When and if we can get a fine we shouldn’t dump on the world. Clearly something had to pull us up. I would rather a speeding ticket instead of something more intense.

    1. I agree Luke Yokota, ‘. I would rather a speeding ticket instead of something more intense.’ A stop is great to bring us back to who we are, it’s up to us how much of a stop we need to actually make us stop.

  4. Really thought-provoking, Ariana. That bit about honouring the community and managing the risk from our vehicle for others just highlighted for me the fact that the way we’re taught to drive and observe speed limits is all centred around the driver and the car – not the environment or the community. Is it any wonder then that we’re all driving around like mini kings of our own car-castle, lording it over all we zoom past? How would it be if we introduced your stop moment workshop equivalent before we even started driving, as part of the learning process? How much more community minded would that be and how different would our attitude be as we approach a restricted speed limit sign when we’re running late?

  5. On reading your blog again Ariana, I was reflecting on the amazing opportunity you gave yourself with your experience of attending the re-education workshop after being caught speeding, and being willing to choose to open up to a far greater responsibility and awareness with yourself and with others in every area of your life.

    1. Linda Green, ‘being willing to choose to open up to a far greater responsibility’ is absolutely it. It’s like we get given an opportunity to grow and develop in every moment, we either override, get arrogant, blame others and ignore it, or we grab it by both hands and learn everything it has on offer. The opportunity to learn is always there for us.

  6. Thank you Ariana for a really honest blog, what a great opportunity was afforded you by being pulled over for speeding in the first place. Deepening your understanding of responsibility and sharing that understanding with us. We are indeed blessed that every moment in life is an opportunity for us to learn.

  7. Love how you bring it all back to our very own responsibility. The car is just the stage and we’re always the players, so there’s no-one but ourselves to put at cause for our lateness, raciness, tension, risk-taking and rule-breaking. These stop moments allow us a point for reflection, to review the way we’ve been living, preparing, moving – and why. So from getting into the car, to speeding and taking risks while driving, all provide reflections on how we’ve been living up to that moment and what we’re bringing of ourselves into the next moment.

    1. Great call Cathy Hackett – ‘ The car is just the stage and we’re always the players, so there’s no-one but ourselves to put at cause for our lateness, raciness, tension, risk-taking and rule-breaking.’ This is so true and yes it all comes down to our choices with regards to self-responsibility. We keep on doing the same thing over and over and are surprised when we get the same results – but change is always on option.

  8. I have come to appreciate that being pulled up with a fine for something like this can be a real healing. When I was prepared to see it this way all the excuses spinning around in my head went away and I could feel how very unpresent I had been. I thought to myself – now this is really bringing me into this present moment – and then there was this awesome feeling of acceptance and gratefulness.

  9. Beautiful Ariana, its so important.. What you share is a truth and fact – we are not alone in this world and thinking that we are creates a huge burden (layer of protection, numbness etc.). Like Anne Mallat shared with us : we have to let people in, even if we dont know the reason why they have come on our path. Such beautiful equal revelation.

    1. ‘We have to let people in, even if we don’t know the reason why they have come on our path.’ For the reason is immaterial if you consider that it is an opportunity to reflect light and be more of who we are with each exchange. So each meeting is a huge blessing for each of us.

  10. The way we drive is such a reflexion of our true way we live behind the ‘nice’ faces we put up on work or meetings. It is like all what is kept unexpressed gets sometimes even aggressively expressed on the road. Like all the frustration come out. With that we have a big effect on each other. When we take responsibility we see that we can not dump our moods and personal stuff on others. This is a reflexion of daily life. If we use our intelligent well we can start to use this reflexion which Ariana so clearly describes as signals to start to make changes.

  11. Clearly a big stop moment in your life and your way of driving, how arrogant we are when we don’t take in consideration that there are other people, people exactly the same as we are and yet we choose to arrogantly close our eyes and just see our own need. Wonderful how life creates these stop moments for us to feel ‘hey what are you doing, we are in this together you know’ And we do know!

  12. What inspires me about your blog Ariana is the unexpected magic that can come from choices we make. Many would see this workshop as a ‘have to, tedious exercise,’ an attitude that isnt open to the gold on offer in every moment… but you chose to be open to what was being offered and to learn from the whole experience – it became an inspiring journey of self discovery and ultimately self responsibility.

  13. To be more attentive – to stay present with what I’m doing – including driving – is something I am so much more aware of since attending Universal Medicine courses. Serge Benhayon offers a powerful reflection on how to live in the world.

  14. I too realised it to be a blessing when I received a speeding ticket as it reflected to me how I was racing through life trying to ‘get’ somewhere in disregard of those around me. Driving on the road or in life is much more enjoyable when you are in harmony with others and your surroundings.

  15. What an opportunity Ariana, to go to the workshop. It may seem daft to offer that instead of a fine, but really it makes perfect sense. I know when I was learning to drive, I knew we had speed limits and why, but it was all about me getting my licence so that I could easily get around. No-one else came into the picture of how I was driving. Then I did some advanced driving courses, talk about arrogance then! Don’t get me wrong I learned some fabulous stuff but I was taught to drive ‘defensively’. Defence against what and whom? So I drove this way for a long time. Driving with awareness is the key…Awareness of ourselves then all around us as we are driving.

  16. When we are present, gentle, considerate and responsible on the road eventually this is what starts to reflect back. People let you in, and we tend to get the good run of the lights or intersections. This is all a reflection of the power of the energy or the quality we choose.

  17. Yes I agree Ariana sometimes it does take for us to be caught out before we can truly appreciate the full impact our choices are having on the whole. Everything we do affects everyone around us. As we speed through life causing an energetic rush in our wake we are not only disturbing the equilibrium of others we are also damaging ourselves in the process. This rush of energy in the end amounts to a huge waste of energy.

  18. Yes, being in the traffic is like to learn how to live in brotherhood.
    -We drive together or against each other.
    -I am the most important person on the road,
    -or we all are equal.
    ‘On the road’ is a very good place for me to train my humbleness and service without loosing my authority.
    As we are all ‘on the way’.

  19. I love this story Ariana as I have always been a bit of a lead-foot when it comes to driving and can relate to so much of what you have shared. I must admit it had me squirming a bit when I got to feel the arrogance associated with speeding. A welcome reminder to stay connected and not allow the energy of haste to creep in and take me out.

  20. Ariana I was also a very arrogant driver . . . but now I love to be with me while I am driving – to the best of my ability of course. Therefore this sentences I love very much as it said it all: ” . . . how I can be myself without reacting to business and the pressures of my job, or reacting to needing to be somewhere quickly: in other words, without obeying the world’s demands to be in it’s time, but taking my time, naturally.”

  21. Thank you Ariana for a great sharing, I find I am considerate of other drivers on the road, but what I find disturbing is when I am trying to back out of a parking area with cars not wanting to stop but are rushing to get past me, I really need to be super aware at this time. I find when i am up in my head off some where while I am driving my foot gets heavy on the pedal and I find I am speeding, a great check to bring me back to my body.

  22. I’m feeling the enormity of how I have been driving, imposing my racing and running late on everyone around me. Gee it is so powerful when we share our experiences from what we have learnt and grown from and then start to live. Tomorrow is another day and I know how I drive and how I am in the drivers seat will forever be changed by reading this today. Brilliant Ariana!

  23. Thank you Ariana, the honesty and humour you express with is very refreshing. I love the way that you approached your re-education day… many would roll their eyes and dismiss this opportunity by choosing to remain in their arrogance. You chose to discern what was offered and accept responsibility and through this you set yourself free from the constraints of time. A truly worthwhile lesson.

  24. I have heard great things about these courses and believe it be an awesome opportunity to stop and consider the responsibility we have on the roads. The only thing I don’t understand is why this is not something that all people sit through when they pass their test and before they start driving – I can only imagine the difference it could make if we all drove with the greater understanding and awareness the course offers.

  25. Thank you Ariana, for your open and honest sharing. The universe presented you with an opportunity to evolve and you took it with both hand and made the decision to heal the underlying cause of why you were, at times, an irresponsible road user. This is very worthy of your appreciation

  26. This blog brings a new awareness to looking at how we are living with ourselves and the way we handle our car, our approach to driving and being on the road with others.

  27. I love the honesty of this blog Ariana, its so true what you say how people get annoyed and angry when they get a speeding fine or points. I too was giving a speeding fine and went on the course like you. I too found it very informative and its really about being responsible amongst or communities and venerable people as we are driving. Was a great eye opener for me.

  28. Driving has become an art for me since choosing to become more self-aware and responsible. In this there has been an opportunity to connect more deeply with both myself, the road, other cars, other drivers, the environment – and drive in awareness of them all. There is an harmonious way to drive when we are aware of all that is around us and that how we drive has an impact on everything and everyone. I am not an isolated individual slicing my way through the world to get where I am going any more – but a bringer of harmony to the world as I go. Thank you Serge Benhayon for the inspiration to be an artist on the road and in life – rather than a plunderer full of ignorant self importance.

  29. I got caught speeding the other day – by a blog site! It sent me a message saying – ‘you are posting comments too fast – slow down’. I was, it was true. I was in a rush and not connecting to what I was doing, and in fact it felt pretty awful in my body. It seems life is constantly offering us reflections if we are willing to read them and listen.

  30. It’s great to be reading about driving, speeding and how we are in cars and to think add an e and we have cares. The two are related in many ways, cars and cares. How do we care for ourselves in our car? It’s important to be always reading the way we drive no matter if we are speeding or not. There are many reflections for us everyday and I must admit this one I have a soft spot for, I love driving and everything about it.

  31. Beautiful Ariana, and what a pleasure to have a driver like yourself on the roads now… I find when I drive with respect for everyone as equals on the roads, that others are the same around me also. The more rushed or self-centred I become in wanting to get somewhere ahead of or more importantly than anyone else, the more obstacles are placed in my way. When this happens I know I am well and truly out of my own flow in life and can settle back and accept I might be late.

  32. I love this Ariana, how it can be about letting people in, how the world shows us this continually, and how those stops we get are a reminder … we’re all in this together and the world is not just about us but about all of us together.

  33. It’s interesting how some people behave behind the wheel of a car it’s like all decency goes out the window and gives them permission to drive in a way that is potentially harming for others. Your blog Arianna highlights the importance of driving with greater awareness and respect for others and the community and how making this choice offers a powerful reflection for others to be inspired by and they zoom pass you.

  34. Since I’ve realised we are all together on the road, my attitude towards how I drive my car has changed. And what you mention about the responsibility we have to leave home on time, to not get racy of frustrated and blaming others interfering so we cannot get quick from A to B is also something I will take on board even more.

  35. This is humbling and very beautiful Ariana. We live in a world with a lot of rules and they don’t always make sense but generally laws are made to protect people and it is arrogant to flaunt them without regard for what the consequences may be. If we all lived in absolute consideration and love with each other no rules would be necessary but until then we would do well to obey speed limits.

  36. Yes, life has a natural beautiful flow. There is beauty in those harsh events. We can miss the opportunity or do not take the time to stop and deal with understanding the why and the responsibility we hold in the event if it effects us. The beauty is what truth lies underneath. The why or the big picture. The bigger picture takes away the personal effects or attachments to how life should be or has been imposed on you. Once this known you are free.

  37. This really made me stop and feel how I am in the world. Am I able to see and appreciate its order and flow? Or do I resist it and go into reaction if it’s not going according to my liking? More surrendering is definitely in order for me.

  38. I am finding whenever I drive with my presence, sure it can be confronting to feel how many times I am not 100% there with me, but nevertheless it is absolutely gorgeous to feel me behind the wheel driving! Getting from A to B or the speed I am going is never the focus when I am connected behind the wheel.

  39. Thanks Ariana, driving is a great way to practice brotherhood, as it highlights how much impact we have on others, that the rules etc are there for the good of the all, and we must constantly be aware of ourselves and others for safety reasons. Overall on the road there is a lot to appreciate as the majority of drivers are considerate. I suppose there are also subtleties within this as to whether we drive the way we do (even when law abiding) for the self or for the all? Driving is definitely another way we can bring our care to ourselves and to others.

  40. What a great opportunity to go deeper with your responsibility, I love the learnings and awareness you gained from this stop moment.

  41. How great to have this wake up call, this same call is so needed for many on our roads today, ‘I was able to see that I held the view that the road was there for me and me alone and speed limits were irritating things to play nice with only when there were speed cameras around.’ An inspiring turn around in how you drive and are in the world.

  42. I love it how so called ‘random’ events have a far deeper learning for us when we are willing to go there. This is a great example of one such event. There is so much continuously on offer if we are willing to dig a little deeper.

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