by Ariana Ray, Wales, UK
I was fortunate to be caught speeding in 2012. Not many people think they are fortunate to be caught speeding. It’s usually a big annoyance. Here in the UK, we usually get a hefty fine and points on our license for road offences like this. However, on this occasion I was offered a choice – a fine, with points on my license OR attend a re-education half-day workshop. For me it was a no-brainer – who wants points on their license that stay for 3 years? I opted for the workshop and most unexpectedly – it blew my little socks off.
The workshop had a big effect upon me. I was given the wonderful opportunity to come face to face with how arrogant and up myself I was about driving. I was able to see that I held the view that the road was there for me and me alone and speed limits were irritating things to play nice with only when there were speed cameras around. I got to see how I felt other drivers and pedestrians were a pain in the… I got to see the full extent of the arrogance I have had all my life around driving and it shocked me. It was not pretty. It was like having a slap around the face by a big wet and sloppy 20 pound fish. It certainly woke me up to where I was and how I’d been living with and in my vehicle.
On this workshop I learned that speed limits are about taking care of the community I live in and the communities I drive through, of honouring the fact that pedestrians, including children, are at risk from moving vehicles and need to be taken care of as they walk, run and play. I learned how vulnerable the body is to moving cars and that hitting a body with a car is not an option for me. I was able to understand that speed limits reflect dangers to people, not annoyances for me.
Looking back on my previous view of the roads I can see how self-centred and ridiculous my arrogance was. Who I really am is not like that, yet here I was, allowing this to be me. It was time for me to take responsibility for my actions and choices and to stop blaming the road, the speed limit and everyone on it for why I am late, why I choose to get racy, agitated, frustrated, or ‘get’ any other way when I drive – I did this, I made this the way I got around in my car. This was a BIG STOP for me, and I am grateful that I let myself stop at the workshop and not be stopped in a way that could be far more damaging to myself and or others.
When I met Serge Benhayon eight years ago and started to attend Universal Medicine courses, I was introduced to the concept of self-responsibility. At these courses, Serge explained the meaning of this in a way no one had, up until that point. Back then, for me responsibility meant bringing my 4 children up single-handedly; it meant taking responsibility at work… it was all about hard work and carrying a weight of something. Gradually I began to understand that self-responsibility is about being aware of what I was doing and making decisions around what I had chosen and that I don’t have to act the way I always have. I got to understand that if I am aware of what I’m doing and how I am being, then I can choose how I will behave and act… like choosing to be gentle and tender with myself, and choosing to be consistent with everyone I meet.
Attending the courses and watching Serge Benhayon live the way he does, simply shows me who I am too. He holds a reflection up for me to see.
In a recent article written on another blog by Anne Malatt (Road Rage), a phrase really resonated with me:
“I have come to learn to let people in. Not just literally on the road, but into my world, into my heart, as my equals, as fellow human beings. So, when someone pulls out in front of me, I let them in. I realise they are in my world for a reason, even if I don’t understand what that reason is…”.
For me, what Anne presented is another layer of truth and awareness to help me on my journey.
Now I drive in a different way and my understanding about how I drive is developing a greater awareness of how I can be myself without reacting to business and the pressures of my job, or reacting to needing to be somewhere quickly: in other words, without obeying the world’s demands to be in it’s time, but taking my time, naturally. This way I can stay present with me when I drive. When I notice the old arrogance creeping in, I slow right down and make the choice to be with me. I’m learning to be gentle, and to let people in.