Marijuana Addiction

I grew up as a teenager in the 80s and a surfer. We watched as our parents self-medicated on a daily basis with alcohol, cigarettes and coffee, but our generation worshipped the sounds and spirituality of Bob Marley and escapism and marijuana was our medicine – we used it to escape and check out, to not truly see what was going on in our lives, and as a rebellion against a world that didn’t make sense.

It was ours exclusively as our parents didn’t understand much about it. From its innocent beginnings the so called ‘non-addictive’ drug wreaked havoc in our lives as well as those of everyone connected to us as we under-performed, buried our issues, told lies to cover up, broke many laws, endangered other people’s lives, as well as our own, and failed to commit to our lives and relationships.

We sure didn’t know what we were getting into or what a ride it would take us on. This included my group and its many extended groups, numbering up to 100 people or more. By the age of 30 I didn’t have any friends who were not stoners on some level (and this covered a good cross-section of society) – I chose to choose my friends that way, so I wouldn’t be exposed or asked to be more.

Looking back now I see how far away it took us from the brotherhood, love and equality we all wanted so dearly in our lives and the world. Writing this now I shed many tears for the young innocent boy and boys we were that got so lost, only to become fringe dwellers controlled by a drug – not our natural way or right to be in this life. The numbness and hardness that I created as my wall of protection became a self-imposed jail… and one that nearly took my life.

There were at least 4 people I knew that suicided – all heavy marijuana smokers, the last one a 50 plus year-old neighbour and father of 4. I know in my heart that the marijuana would have helped lead them to get to that point by its insidious nature of hiding / burying and therefore hindering one’s ability to try and work through issues or deal with stuff.

I had slipped down the drain a long way from the young boy with so much potential – the primary school captain, house and senior prefect at high school – and was now living in the underworld, with a warped perception of life. After looking back at an addiction of 20 years, with at least 17 years of daily usage in Australia and internationally, I can honestly say I could hold a Masters or PhD on the subject.

With a strong work ethic, and mainly being a nightly user, I lived in a weird duality as a night time vegetable and mad professor, going deeply into an altered state, unable to express myself or debrief / reflect back on my day properly. Its effects on my rhythms and cycles were the cause of many difficult situations ­– doing something with catastrophic consequences once would have been bad enough without having to repeat it, again and again in some cases.

In hindsight, burying things and numbing was what it helped to do best, and putting up a wall of separation between the world and myself: a protective layer or shield that only held me imprisoned in unresolved stuff and emotions. That shield also kept others at bay – separatism: I was very selfish indeed, rather than truly sharing who I was with all.

My family is only starting to know the real me now as I gradually let myself be seen by all – not always a comfortable experience, but so very worth it. Dope was a double-edged sword: great for helping destroy relationships (3 wives later – de facto), then great for numbing and hiding what really happened. To me, this makes marijuana the ultimate retarding drug of the 20th century, with its recurrence in such big ways ­– the world hasn’t seen this drug before become so mainstream, i.e: having so many users/addicts or ‘devotees’, from kids to housewives. Even though it has been used for thousands of years in Africa, Asia and India, its retarding nature to human evolution is at a widespread and epidemic level.

I spent at least 10-12 years knowing it wasn’t good for me, saying I wanted to stop (with many failed attempts), but the effect of its seductive nature on my psychological mind and physical body was always too strong. Not until I nearly took my own life by driving off a bridge at high speed to stop the voices in my head in a psychotic episode and to end the agony of life, did I take notice and stop ‘forever’ – which only lasted for a short time, by the way.

By my early to mid thirties the “Muppet on Acid” was running out of energy and my lifestyle of partying, drugs and the underworld was catching up with me. Like a burnt-out soldier burnt from running too many missions, my body was starting to show signs of disease. I went looking for help to doctors and naturopaths and after a number of blood tests, I was diagnosed with exhaustion / chronic fatigue / stress disorder and shingles. So I stopped all drugs and was advised to go on a cleansing diet of herbs and pure foods, with no sugar, yeast, alcohol, caffeine, preservatives, etc., for a minimum of 3 months.

After a few days on the diet I cried for days as my body dumped all the unresolved / buried emotions and stuff back into my body to feel. I felt raw and sensitive but the great thing was I was able to feel again. Before that, there was a time where I hadn’t cried for nearly 10 years, just toughing life out with my dope and my dope buddies. After the diet I felt very different and re-energised, but within 6 months went back to my old habits of binge drinking and pot smoking. It did give me a huge marker or point of reference for how I could feel and gave me something to come back to.

After having children in my late 30s I managed to cut it down to weekends only but found if I had it more than 2 days straight, I would want to have it every day again. Children were my first energetic wake-up call: from babies to 6 year-olds, they always knew if I walked in stoned and the way they looked at me was like a freak / zombie had just walked in. So I made sure I wasn’t stoned in their presence. It was like they knew I was somehow different and not my full self.

Not until I attended a Heart Chakra Workshop around 2006 presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine (UniMed) did I know or hear of the damaging effect of marijuana to the human body, and its organs and energetic field. I learned that it affected the spleen and the kidneys energetically (both natural energy centres, as Serge presents), not to mention the lungs / respiratory system, as well as contributing to the depression / psychosis in its users – something I had denied for years, as I, like many users, championed its harmless ‘all-natural’, non-violent and non-addictive status.

If this ‘harmlessness’ is true then…

…Why is its production in Mexico fuelling one of the biggest and bloodiest drug wars in history, all to decide who will be in charge of supplying the world’s largest bunch of dope addicts in the USA? Marijuana is a very addictive product that holds people to ransom on many levels (people can be addicted for long periods, up to 65 years) and it’s a billion dollar industry, especially if your customers have given up and sold out to being numbed and medicated, rather than fully committing to life, work and community (as America suffered the GFC, morale has dropped and drug abuse and addiction have skyrocketed).

Originally I was in denial of the fact that marijuana was rated by Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine (UniMed) as the second worst of all drugs with the shamanic drug ayahuasca in first place according to their energetic effects. I pondered on this for weeks and also discussed with close friends (also long-term dope addicts), agreeing with things such as hearing voices at times when stoned: “Have some more”, or “Where do you think you’re going?” – when you’ve just woken up, drooling on the lounge near midnight, then trying to limp to bed, but somehow convinced to return to the bong for another session after already being the most wasted person in the world – complete insanity, I repeat, complete insanity! Or when you’ve woken up in the morning with a foggy potato head, late, unorganised, and remorseful, swearing and swearing “Today is the day I quit”, only by 3.30pm to be salivating like one of Pavlov’s dogs, to go home and smoke again.

This madness went on sporadically for 10 years, not to mention the subsequent addiction to coffee as my life force and energy diminished as time went on.

Its addictive nature was extremely powerful and controlling. I could share many more stories of the behaviours people would stoop to in order to get their daily fix of marijuana – like the lying, cheating and deceiving that I had witnessed– all interesting effects of a so-called ‘soft, non-addictive, harmless, drug’. Yeah, sure.

So to cut a long story short, I kicked the habit by choosing to change my ways by understanding that the substance was utterly destructive and ruining my potential to have a balanced and great life. Not to mention that there was not a self loving, caring or nurturing part about it – only a selfish indulgence into the abyss of a life of misery. After all that smoking and time spent in an altered state I had not gained any more wisdom or enlightenment, or created a better way to live. So why continue with the PhD???

I also started to get help in the form of Esoteric Healing through UniMed, which helped me clear the energetic damage the drugs had done to my body. It revealed the damage to my spleen and kidney energy centres. With UniMed’s support, and through the activation of self love and care, I was able to heal my chronic allergies and hay fever, lower back pain, and chronic fatigue. My new rhythm of early nights, the total removal of drugs and alcohol, and my decision to keep to a gluten and dairy-free diet as suggested by my GP, also allowed me to feel the person behind all that lying and hardness and aloofness.

I feel this did a lot to clear the way for the new me – which by the way, was just the old me by birthright – living in full, feeling all of it – the good, the bad and the indifferent, all as it is. A big thank you to Serge and UniMed for speaking the truth and not holding back in a world where truth is always used in a controlled form and not exclusively for the good of all. The transparency of Serge’s work is there for all to see, and in this case, a spade being called a spade is a great tool for (no longer) burying your shit.

As I now am not an AA­-like reformed drug addict, but someone who has no connection or attachment to marijuana at all, it feels to me that it was another life away, while many of my old friends are still daily / regular users to this day – some in their mid 40s and 50s – are now suffering depression (and being medicated with anti-depressants permanently) and other debilitating ailments. There are many that are also of the belief that there isn’t anything wrong with dope: please note, I don’t preach to them, I respect their choices, but say clearly how I feel and how I would never use marijuana again. In the past I was a pro-marijuana activist, rebel and user who, through its hold of addiction and the strong denial of what it was really doing to me, got caught up in it.

Now I care and nurture my body more than ever before, in the same way that as parents we look after and teach our children to do the same for themselves… Instead of treating our body as something to dump stuff into, like heinous / evil drugs, to help medicate ourselves to be able to cope with life, really only hiding from real life and burying our issues so we have more crap to deal with later – a truly vicious circle / cycle. You don’t see children, especially primary-aged children, having to come home and smoke dope or get drunk to cope with a tough day at school, they deal with their stuff sober. It’s just in the adult world that we justify and champion this behaviour as ok, when it’s really far from that.

May we all aspire to be all we are for the sake of all, as it takes all of us working together to make our lives truly great.

By Anonymous, NSW aged 46

506 thoughts on “Marijuana Addiction

  1. Up to ten years ago, I have had period of my life when I was addicted to marijuana thinking it was natural and ok for the body when in fact I could feel how much it would affect my memory, vitality, my sleep, my mind, my relationship with others and with myself, my finances and I could go on and on… it is possible to leave it behind But it requires a call from inside saying enough is enough.

  2. The world is a candy store for a child that has money in their pocket; for adults, the sleeves are lined with other items that have everything that satisfies our disregard to us and our body. We don’t have issues; we have hurts we don’t want to address. A recovering anything is just someone that has a strong will to keep the wall up and not self-numb themselves. But how much energy is spent holding back the urge? When we deal with the issues there is no energy wasted for there is nothing to hold back.

  3. What a powerful and heartfelt personal sharing, Anonymous, of the destructive and harming nature of marijuana. Although in comparison to your story I only dabbled in my attachment to the drug, however, I can relate strongly to and can endorse its addictive and seductive nature.

  4. So many of us clearly feel the off-ness of this world and keep re-inventing ways to numb ourselves and escape from life. It is sad to feel how this keeps happening while us being oblivious to the absolute gorgeousness of who we truly are, even though it was the choice that started it all.

    1. Your comment highlights the need for us all to speak the truth about how off the world is, we can’t keep accepting it the way it is and pretending it’s all OK, and then self medicating to numb ourselves. We are capable of working together to change what’s not true in this world.

  5. Marijuana consumption is very poisonous, you don’t have to be a doctor or a genius to see it in those who use the drug. Anybody who has ever consumed it can tell you that there’s a feeling of a lack of disorder, forgetfulness, many experience paranoia, yet the consumption is becoming more and more normal.

  6. It’s great to read such an honest and down to earth account of the many effects of taking marijuana. We also champion the use of alcohol and yet look at the devastation that causes and many people take both together. Unfortunately, marijuana is now being championed as the wonder drug for all kinds of illnesses, so it’s inevitable that its use will increase.

    1. And also as its legalisation becomes more and more widespread and a commercial business so it is becoming like alcohol – a societal norm. However, self-destructive, self-abusive and stupid is that? And we are supposed to be so intelligent?

  7. “I had slipped down the drain a long way from the young boy with so much potential – the primary school captain, house and senior prefect at high school – ” From an early age we learn to live up to the expectations of others and put this on ourselves. Unless we have totally sold out to the schooling system, we do know somewhere along the line that being a prefect or captain may give us the accolade we are seeking from others but leaves us empty and void, knowing that something is missing. The piece that is missing is us, our true selves and so we seek to fill or numb that emptiness with what ever we choose not realising that what ever we are choosing has the possibility to become an addiction

  8. “The so called ‘non-addictive’ drug wreaked havoc in our lives as well as those of everyone connected to us as we under-performed, buried our issues, told lies to cover up, broke many laws, endangered other people’s lives, as well as our own, and failed to commit to our lives and relationships”. The fact that it took 10-12 years of wanting to give up marijuana shows just how addictive it is. Speaking with partners of people who still smoke as adults, the theme of not really being present in the relationships or fully committing is the common thing I hear.

  9. I love that it is never to late to regain or reconnect to our innate awareness that we lived by naturally as young children and which rang alarm bells for us when we saw the many things that were being played out before our eyes, the drugs, alcohol, TV checkout, – and that we can by simple choices step by step walk ourselves back to living once again by our own internal compass confirming the truth of life so that we can truly live life once more. This great gift was a blessing thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

    1. Well said Annie, it is never too late to make a different choice and to come back to living who we truly are.

  10. I used to champion Marijuana as a natural product, a better choice then alcohol or other drugs. This was naive and ignorant for it is not the origin of the drugs that matters but the energetic affect it has on the user. Marijuana is disastrous in that sense as is so beautifully shared here.

  11. To understand that drug use is about still being sensitive and therefor needing a substance to not feel what is so very much at the surface changes the outlook on society completely where drugabusers are seen as misfits and those who have completely adapted but much further away from their sensitivity are the successful.

  12. This was very informative and I love your complete honesty, revealing all the hidden dangers of marijuana and checking out in any way. Teenagers in each generation think they have stumbled across this super drug that takes all their cares away, not realising it is an insidious drug that has been around for eons. The checking out is not just an adult thing it’s happening earlier and earlier with gaming for primary school kids and electronic devices for toddlers to keep them busy. There is commitment but commitment to getting the fix we are looking for or the numbing effect we are needing.

  13. Marijuana has a insidious nature of hiding and burying ones stuff which means issues and problems get buried and never dealt with – it can all look ok on the surface but not far below it is festering away creating more poison for the body to deal with.

  14. As a nurse, I have seen the harmful effects marijuana has on so many people. It is not a ‘soft’ drug, as so many people like to believe it is.

    1. No, it’s not a ‘soft’ drug, it’s very addictive, ‘Originally I was in denial of the fact that marijuana was rated by Serge Benhayon of Universal Medicine (UniMed) as the second worst of all drugs with the shamanic drug ayahuasca in first place according to their energetic effects.’

  15. This is such a powerful and truthful statement
    “I grew up as a teenager in the 80s and a surfer. We watched as our parents self-medicated on a daily basis with alcohol, cigarettes and coffee,”
    We have become so used to self- medicating ourselves that it has become a normal part of life. But no one seems to have stopped to add up the rising cost that alcohol addiction alone is having on our health services, if we add in the damage that the cigarettes have on our bodies and that coffee is very addictive and races our bodies so that it is always in a nervous state, is it any wonder that the health services around the world are buckling under the strain of our own choices to disrespect our bodies.

    1. It shows how very much we create our own world / dilemmas. We do one thing that leads to another, which then leads to another, and another and so on. And that is how life goes. But their is a huge difference to what we allow to happen when we bring care and love into our lives instead of medicating ourselves to only be able to cope with this world but not evolve out of this cycle.

  16. Anonymous your blog is a very good reason why Marijuana should never be legalised. It is seen as a soft drug but energetically as you have shown you lose yourself completely and are unable to commit to life or look sensibly at any issue. To me it makes no sense whatsoever ever that this drug should ever be legalised, and if a child can see how much it alters their father then this should be enough to know that something is not right.

  17. Incredible story – its one of the best! Something Ill refer back to from time to time and reference. I could write my own story of marijuana and the evil effects but not to the level or degree Anonymous has, and so exquisitely covered. Yes, maybe I have a different spin however, I am requesting Anonymous you write a book even its a short story. I suggest a film too. You are a true celebrity in my books and one I would read and recommend to millions.

  18. I always felt sure that Marijuana was an evil thing but strangely I was able to consume alcohol, which is probably just as evil, for over 40 years without questioning what I was doing, until I heard Serge Benhayon explaining that alcohol was a poison in the human body, something I had always known but chosen not to know.

  19. The way we live on this planet doesn’t make any sense at all and rather than everyone coming together to sort the mess out we just continue to dig our heels in and make the mess worse. My question to the world is how much worse does it need to get before we will come together and do something about it? Or, will it take another cataclysm to bring us to our senses?

  20. So interesting how we choose our friends because they make us feel safe in our choices. I remember at times in my life where all my friends were cigarette smokers, then it was drinkers, then it was marijuana smokers. Without realising we surround ourselves with a cohort of people who are doing the same thing and that confirms us in our choices and makes it seem OK.

  21. This drug is very destructive I have had experience of how this impacts on people around me and it is not the nice friendly drug as it is depicted. People are owned, they check out and they separate from who they are and people around them, despair, disfunction and giving up on life ensues.

  22. Reading your blog Anonymous I came to the realisation of how down through the generations our indulgence in more numerous and harmful ways to check out is escalating. As you say back in the 80s self-medication was mainly alcohol, cigarettes and coffee, which then became Marijuana and so forth, and now a days there seems to be a combination and variety of addictions we can lose ourselves in, which sadly are considered normal and acceptable. It is time for us all to uncover and heal the pain we are trying to escape from through our indulgence in our addictions, in whatever form these may take.

  23. Rebellion is a hooking movement that gives us the impression that we are in fact re-imprinting anything while in truth only help to feed the what is not that has motivated our reaction in the first place.

  24. I was walking down the street yesterday and observed 2 young guys talking to an older lady and felt there was something strange going on as the conversation felt different to what I normally would expect – 2 young white guys and an older black lady – then the thought came it must be drugs and sure enough the joint was then shown. It is like marijuana has this entangling inclusive feeling, where you feel part of a group, have something in common and something to talk about where in reality it is closing you off and taking you further away from yourself and true connection with others. It is this smoke screen effect that can be and is so damaging giving us the illusion of what we want but delivering far less.

  25. We treat marijuana as a ‘soft’ drug that is almost acceptable and considered not that bad because it’s just a plant and yet smoking it is highly addictive and very destructive.

  26. It is a super joyful thing to go from avoiding what we feel to really embracing it. When we do it our world becomes a whole lot richer.

  27. Drugs like marijuana apart from suicide are the ultimate escape. Shamanism has been glorified and there is even an illusion that healing can come from these things.

  28. In my experience, there are quite a few different perspectives on marijuana use and it is this variance which can at times cause conflicts of understanding. For example, I have seen how the use of it can destroy quality of life. And yet, for someone who has not had this experience, it (the drug) may still seem like a innocent recreational endeavour. The conflict here being that no matter what is said, often it is not until the reality of what this drug does is experienced that the truth of it is revealed.

  29. Thank you for your candour and telling it how it is – marijuana hinders our evolution and creates a fog that is so dense that it completely robs its users of their sight. But then, fog is natural, they would say, wouldn’t they?

  30. Years ago I started work for a company that employed a person who was a regular user of this so called ‘non-addictive’ drug and they would drive their car in a state of not being present with themselves, they would end up nowhere near where they were meant to be going and in the end because they were a danger to themselves and other people on and off the road they lost their employment. At the time they were convinced that marijuana was less harming than alcohol but surely both substances are harmful to the body both can cause untold harm, just go to the accident and emergency dept., at any hospital at the weekend to understand how much harm we do to ourselves and others by taking substances that wreck our bodies.

  31. Young people I know who are users of marijuana always come back with the excuse of how marijuana ‘doesn’t kill’ or is a ‘natural drug’, but what I hear from this is that the effects on one’s body are SO far from being natural, and it can actually have extraordinarily crippling impacts on physical AND mental health.

    1. Yes, it is like we hold up one little part of the whole and say that is good and with that we justify that the whole product is good all the while completely ignoring the other 99% of damaging goods.

    2. It sure can Susie, I used to be in this camp thinking it was all natural and better than alcohol but as a friend once described it it is like a smoke screen essentially numbing you to everything going on around you.

    3. I have seen the terrible effects on teenagers who are using marijuana. They use it to not feel anxiety, how school really feels, what their friends are going through and what their parents are going through. What stands out most is the constant lying, secretive, hiding, lack of commitment to everyday things but super committed to getting their next joint and distancing themselves from those they know care about them.

  32. I always felt Marijuana and alcohol were among the worst drugs and I could never understand their acceptance in society.

  33. For years I had friends who were addicted to marijuana and it was evident that when you spoke to them they were not present, it was as if talking to the shell of a person.

  34. “… we used it to escape and check out, to not truly see what was going on in our lives, and as a rebellion against a world that didn’t make sense.” And the painful realization is that in our desire to rebel against a world that doesn’t make sense, we are adding to the non-sense by numbing our selves to the core. Sobering up is not pleasant as we have to walk the path back through every thing we have attempted to ignore, but once clean dealing with life with all our faculties switched on becomes a whole lot easier than attempting to deal with it stoned, drunk or spun out.

  35. “You don’t see children, especially primary-aged children, having to come home and smoke dope or get drunk to cope with a tough day at school, they deal with their stuff sober.” – this is an excellent point and is partly why most kids can feel and read situations so well. But when we allow our kids to check out via violent and even regular video games and other devices, aren’t we setting them up to numb themselves with alcohol and drugs later in life in order to not deal with their hurts? This powerful blog by Anon, with its raw honesty and dedication to exposing the evils of marijuana shows how we all can come back to our true self no matter how ‘far out’ (pun intended) we get.

  36. Personally I can say that there is no drug out there that can accomplish the depth of connection, intimacy and magic that Universal Medicine has empowered me to experience through learning how to tenderly connect to myself. Having spent a good deal of my 20’s experimenting with various substances, I can say that cannabis is one of the most insidious, a drug that in my arrogance I claimed was not harmful or as bad as class A drugs but frequently made me feel paranoid and insecure. What a misnomer it is to promote in any way, particularly as medication. True medicine inspires us to cherish our selves deeply and express our inherent glory. There is no substance on earth that can achieve this for us, this experience alone comes from our own willingness to face our issues and connect to our fiery soul within.

    1. The body gets completely entity driven when we use those drugs. They even can settle themselves in your body, especially your kidneys.
      They take your kidney energy, your life force. That is why people using these drugs want to eat or drink chocolate so much. A sugar love shot as an attempt to get their energy back .

  37. Thank you for sharing Anonymous. This awareness needs to be known by all. It was the first drug I ever took and I went straight into depression. It was so addictive I continued this drug while indulging in many more taking me further and further away from myself where my feelings were no longer immediate to me. I agree it’s an evil drug dramatically altering your perception.

  38. A drug is addictive, and so is the lifestyle that goes with it – even if it doesn’t look particularly attractive. We become addicted to emotions and ways of life that keep us at certain comfortable levels of irresponsibility.

  39. The impact of drugs on our society may be known well in the sense of the great harms they do, but the small everyday harms are often unseen, but nevertheless catastrophic.

  40. I had been aware of the physical after-effects of marijuana as I had seen quite a few young people descend into psychosis. But not until I came to Universal Medicine was i aware of the energetic effects. It has a much darker side.

  41. Ironically, when we seek to escape the world we end up joining the one and same force that has shaped it to be all that it is and that we are reacting to.

  42. A very humbling blog to read the personal and devastating effects of marijuana. Whilst harder drugs may present there addictive side more quickly and readily, marijuana takes its time, slowly leaching into every part of our lives. The fact that its considered harmless and an option medicinally is what makes this one of the worst drugs available. For its true harm is hidden, but it doesn’t mean that there is no harm.

    1. Very true Elizabeth. The moment we truly connect with another then any addiction simply disappears and no longer has any hold or grab over us. Let go of connection with ourselves and others and then anything can grab and entice us.

  43. There are different ways to rebel against the world. We may compare ours with another ones. Yet, independent of the flavor of the day, rebellion is always an act of washing our hands and saying I choose not to be responsible for what is out there but I am not willing to do anything to change it.

  44. Rebellion is often talked about like it is a normal part of growing up, and to not rebel is sometimes seen as missing out on an important part of development in to adulthood. Often I hear rebellion regarded as a rights-of-passage phase of life that everyone must go through or else they are forever trapped by the unknowing of what is beyond the rules and the limitations of adult life. But in my experience, rebellion has been something that can be very destructive, both to the person and to their relationships within the family. Rebellion is often seen as cool and socially desirable, but I have seen how it ruins lives, leads to very low self-worth and bodies that are wracked with toxins and emotional traumas. Rebellion is not, in my eyes, what it is all cracked up to be, or indeed what it is promised to be, and in fact there can be no greater feeling than to be supported and loved throughout your life by your family and friends.

    1. Rebellion seems much more focussed on aggression, complication, emotional upheaval. This is the immature version… there is a mature version where the rebel is the one who is super strong, keeps life simple, and presents a different way of living that is outside the norm.

  45. I can really feel how we create our ‘normal’ by surrounding ourselves with those who make the same/similar choices as we do and avoid feeling the lies we are telling ourselves.

    1. Very perceptive, it is true and the this how we do create our idea of reality, on a one to one, family, societal and global scale.

  46. When we are struggling and have not been supported on how to deal with the intensities of life, it makes total sense that someone would seek to take the edge off this tension with e.g. alcohol and/or drugs. Although how many people are we losing to such a way of life? What of the robbed potential of these people? As a community do we care enough to support people to deal with life so they do not need to resort to extreme measures just to get by in life?

  47. The polarity of having a strong work ethic during the day and heavy drug user at night would have been an exhausting existence, no wonder your body started to illustrate that very fact to you anonymous.

  48. Drug abuse is so prevalent in our current society but there is not enough consideration given to the harm that it is doing to people and to society. Blogs like this support us to understand the true harm in drug use.

  49. The numbness offered by dope is such that it fools its users into thinking it is great to be checked out, but really it removes the joy of living a full and purposeful life.

  50. Honest sharings like these bring exposure to lifestyles that can be considered ‘ok’ or even ‘fine’ by many…yet the truth presents a clearly different version.

  51. The truth of so called social drugs, is they are not social, and in fact are the opposite, shutting down who we are and in the same vein who we are able to connect and form truly loving relationships with.

  52. There is a duality about marijuana that is interesting to observe, because the reality of what it creates is plain and obvious to recognise as ill or harming to oneself and the life that is there to be lived fully, but there are justifications that seem to come in to ones thought processes that have a very heavy and controlling manner – making the habit ok to continue – even though the harm is plain to see.

  53. It’s interesting now to see the amount of states in the USA, that have decriminalised and legalised marijauana for recreation and medical uses. Decriminalisation is good I feel, but saying that it is ok to smoke dope i.e. that it is part of a normal way of living I don’t agree. This will continue until we start to get to the root of why we want to check out, bury and numb ourselves, as drugs and alcohol rule the consciousness of the masses and with all the money/profits at stake it will take some time. Thank god there are like minded people on this forum that see the true harm that these substances, especially marijuana do to us keeping us contracted and in a lessor state and therefore delaying our evolution.

  54. It’s a great shame that people are campaigning to make marijuana legal here in the UK, as it is in some other places. It is already sanctioned as a pain relief support. As has been shared in this blog it has a numbing effect so of course it will make us not feel the pain in our body which is actually a signal for us to reflect on what we have already done, nominate the cause of the pain, be more kind and loving towards ourselves and change our careless ways.

  55. Activating self-love and care in our lives and developing it truly is a restorative form of medicine. We still need regular medicine for sure but the way we live gives us a foundation and when we truly care for ourselves it is deeply nourishing and supports us to be much more steady and connected in all situations, thereby reducing the desire to withdraw or numb what we’re feeling.

  56. It must seem harmless and fun at the start but once you are into the world of dope you no longer can see what any person looking in can see. There is such a strong, common pattern of behaviour that ironically makes the dope smoking ‘rebels’ seem like mindless drones. For those rejecting the control of society and norms, they have simply swapped to being controlled by a drug.

  57. This drug has been given the term “recreational” as long as I can remember that brings with it a belief that it’s something you do on occasion or a way to just take the edge off. A drug is a drug and when we make it less than that we are dealing with the ramifications this has on the user and all of those that are near and dear to them. A community is effected not just the sole user!

  58. I also would get a masters then a Phd. in marijuana! After 20 years of abusing my body I stopped at the age of 40 and it was not until I started to heal the energetic levels of why I abused my body with drugs that the last smoke left my body. This was some 15 years after I stopped smoking. So thank God for Serge Benhayon.

  59. This is a fascinating insight into the life of a marijuana user and living proof that you can escape its evil enthrals to return to living the true version of you.

  60. What comes across strongly is the waste of a life and the time spent hiding. I have never seen it as hiding before, but it makes sense, as the use of marijuana does have a withdrawal from life effect. Hats off to you Anonymous for getting yourself out from under the influences of that drug.

    1. Yes true, my alcohol use was a withdrawal from life in a similar way. How great it feels in the past 10 years of being alcohol free to commit fully to life and truly live life, which I never did in my alcohol fuelled years.

  61. The cost of drug abuse in lives lost, families crushed and human potential ignored is untold. If as a society we really appreciated this would we move to stop this daily tsunami of waste and pain?

  62. We’ve designed ourselves ‘options’ of what to do when we aren’t coping with life, such as drugs, alcohol, sugar, TV and even hobbies sometimes, but none of these ask us to take stock and really look at why we’re feeling the way that we are. The best medicine is to talk about it and be open to understanding what’s going on as opposed to numbing it.

  63. It’s interesting with hindsight to see that the things we used to self-medicate as teenagers were exactly the same as our parents, just the substance or product changes. When we see a self-medication as different, cooler, rebellious etc. we can’t see it is all from the same package to keep us dull with our awareness

  64. ‘As I now am not an AA­-like reformed drug addict, but someone who has no connection or attachment to marijuana at all, it feels to me that it was another life away..’ This is huge. To have cleared the past from your present, the buried emotions and hurts, so there is no need to use because you’ve felt the beauty of being you and honouring that. And you know how much using weed doesn’t do this but the energy it comes with uses your body for its own ends.

  65. Lately it seems to me to be more and more people are smoking pot, people in our city walk around smoking it and it is very blatant what it is. Societies standards have dropped and we are seeing this daily with the increase of taking drugs.

    1. I agree Samantha, often we can smell it as we walk around the park, and on a couple of occasions, we have found packets of weed which have been dropped by mistake. And it does seem as though people are more open about smoking it and are not worried about being caught – like you say, standards have dropped.

  66. This is a great blog Anonymous, to have been addicted to marijuana and having been able to stop the addiction is a reflection of the changes you have made, children can be an awesome reflection for us, because they know exactly when we are not being ourselves, and leave us in no doubt that they clocked what is going on.

  67. In life we often fall into the control of an energy which we do not know we are controlled by until we choose to see more of ourselves, clearer of the truth of who we are, then we step out of this imprisonment and we make different choices.

  68. A very clear and concise account of the true effects of marijuana on the physical body, the mind and life in general. It is surely not the ‘soft’ drug it is purported to be, it comes by stealth and steals one’s life, saps one’s vitality and turns amazing human beings into gibberishing and paranoid zombies who are always full of a grandiose idea or two.

  69. We can not be ourselves when we use drugs and alcohol so our family and friends really don’t get to be with us at all.

  70. What a great blog! Your lived experience comes strongly through the page and your honesty is very revealing. What a great support this is for those who either want to learn more about how this drug affects those in their lives or those who take it and need a starting point to quit and to know that not only quitting is possible, but also that life can turn around.

  71. It’s a great point you make about how putting up a wall between yourself and world only served to create “…a protective layer or shield that only held me imprisoned in unresolved stuff and emotions.”

  72. I have experience of drug abuse in life, not so much me using it but observing it in others, cannabis, so called a soft drug, even medicine some say, is very unsupportive and has negative impact on those who take it, a lack of clarity, consumed in paranoia, checked out, it is a serious issue and has a great impact on those of use it and those who live around a user.

  73. Any type of addiction is depressing, the sadness and grief felt is that we know we are love and we are choosing to not be that, instead we are choosing a way which takes us further and further away from who we are truly. Personally when I stopped one addiction after another, the joy that is my natural birthright is felt deeper every time, this is a developing process but one which supports me to carry on because nothing I have done and tried in the past has allowed me to feel this natural joy in life.

  74. This is such a clear of account of the use of cannabis to protect and numb oneself from life versus a path of responsibility to coming back and dealing with life and all its challenges.

  75. Having been a huge pot smoker myself and addicted to every other drug imaginable I agree with Serge Benhayon, marijuana is the 2nd most addictive drug. The fact that people think it is okay because it is naturally grown is absolute nonsense and a story they need to believe so as to not take responsibility for how they are choosing to live their life

  76. I could never understand how a pot smoker could work, as when I smoked I was more often then not so paranoid that I could not look at any-one, I could hardly string 2 words together and could not be bothered to do any thing much at all. From this, you can imagine the state of my car, my home and me? Thank goodness that is never to be repeated.

  77. I have been addicted to just about every drug that was available in my day, as well as alcohol. Marijuana was by far the most addictive and the hardest drug to come off. It is very interesting that many people think this is a harmless drug as it is naturally grown….not true.

  78. Marijuana is a drug that alters our state of being, and yet because it is natural it is seen as a harmless drug that can support people with certain illnesses to control their pain. The truth is as you have shown here anonymous that marijuana causes untold harm and is a very addictive, life destroying drug. There are many people in the UK including one of the main political parties that would like to legalise marijuana but all they will be doing is opening the flood gates for mental disorders and psychotic behaviour and burdening our already over stretched health service.

  79. “To me, this makes marijuana the ultimate retarding drug of the 20th century”. Marijuana is not the innocent so-called “natural” drug that people like to think it is. It has a severe effort on the health and wellbeing of those who use it.

  80. Yes, this is what smoking marijuana does, it numbs and buries our hurts and emotions so they are left raw and unhealed in our bodies, ‘to help medicate ourselves to be able to cope with life, really only hiding from real life and burying our issues so we have more crap to deal with later – a truly vicious circle / cycle.’ We then have to deal with this ‘mess’ later in our lives or in our next life.

  81. Thank you for sharing, many people who smoke marijuana are under the belief that it is a harmless and a non addictive drug, this is so far from the truth as you describe. Great to have your experience shared so honestly.

  82. I have experienced drug use, some times from my own experience, but also so much more from it being around me, through life….it has serious implications on the quality of life, but not just the person that chooses it, the ripples are felt all around and it is not just what people call hard drugs, I include nicotine, alcohol and marijuana, they are the cause of huge disconnection and self abuse.

  83. This “harmless drug” has consequences way beyond our own life. When we make these choices it can create pain in people around us that takes a long time to heal – if ever.

  84. Such a brilliant sharing Anonymous, it’s surprising there are not more out there talking like you do. To me it feels that this is because, even when we have ‘given up’ have we truly felt the absolute and complete harm this drug brings? If not then the fact is we are still ‘doing it’ on some level. I notice the same is true for other things in my life too – do I fully renounce what I know is truly harming?

  85. ‘I felt raw and sensitive but the great thing was I was able to feel again. ‘ So beautiful to feel that Anon. And it is hugely important that we all get to feel that as we go through our own many addictions in life.

  86. By and large the world continues to ignore the harmful effects of marijuana. What I have always found interesting is that if you visit any mental health clinic it is well know how many people who smoke marijuana end up with psychotic episodes yet we continue to say it is a harmless drug. It just goes to show that there are literally none so blind as those who refused to see the absolute obvious.

  87. Where I live, the use of marijuana is not as widespread as is in some other places in the world, and recently an ex-member of a boy band has been found in possession of it, and there’s quite a big shock and the media has gone crazy as it is a punishable crime. There definitely is naivety about this reaction, but what we are trying not to see is the only difference between marijuana and alcohol is that one is legalized and taxable and the other is not, they are both addictive and mind-altering substances known to cause behavioural changes that can sometimes be extreme and violent, yet the users often consider it to be just recreational/social. We can try telling someone not to do things or criminalize their choices, but that would never work.

  88. In general we think that the altered state Marijuana, or any other drug, gives is harmless and something we deserve for the hard work that we do or because of the difficulties in life we have to cope with. But when we look closer, which is so clearly portrayed in this blog, it is actually the addiction to these substances and the scene you then enter form being addicted, that defines your way of thinking that is actually way of of who we naturally are as we can see also clearly in the adicted by the way they care for themselves and for others.

  89. Well there is a blog telling it like it is. Well done and thank you. The addiction is incredibly hard to kick when we are not honest about what the addiction is protecting us from. In your case it was marijuana, for another it may be alcohol, anger, sugar, drama. Whatever the ‘go-to’ they are all coping mechanisms for not wanting or feeling like we can cope with what we are feeling. Understanding that offers us the power to make a lasting change.

  90. The evil in marijuana is that many are under the false belief that it is ok or even good for you, this could not be further from the truth. If you don’t want to have any commitment to life, if you want to be paranoid, if you want to live a life in delusion then yes smoke Marijuana, if you want to have a real, clear and true life then stay well away from marijuana.

    1. Well said Samantha – I know some people who have been destroyed by smoking too much marijuana – not all of them recover like the writer of this article.

  91. I would like to see more articles on the effects of Marijuana on the human body and psyche. There is too much putting our “heads in the sand ” over drug use and I feel that we all need to start to wake up and educate through others experiences, so that we and our children know the truth! The same goes for alcohol abuse, until we start to be truly honest our children will suffer and be deluded around these so called “good time” must haves! Life can be enjoyed just by being in the company of others.

  92. I can completely relate to this article and I am glad that like you I started to attend the Universal Medicine courses which was a great eye opener for me and also very supportive in the quitting process whilst nobody told me not to do it but it came from my own decision which was amazing and fairly easy. I could say sugar was the hardest drug to stop.

  93. There is a big push in this country (Australia) to legalise marijuana for medicinal purposes. Given what I now know about this drug at the energetic level – as discussed in this article – this cannot be a good thing. I’ve heard many stories in the media, usually involving dying or seriously ill children, promoting it through the use of sympathy. Yes, there is a human, devastating side to the illnesses we manifest, especially when so young, but there is nothing in me that supports the use of this drug or its extracts for any purpose.

  94. Terrific account of an amazing resurrection Anonymous. Whether its marijuana addiction or another type of addiction – sex, alcohol, overwork, gambling, porn, food, sport and so on – we carry, if we’re serious about living with true vitality and purpose we’ll do what it takes to get the monkey off our back. Having the support of Universal Medicine’s education and healing services just makes it a whole lot more doable, and meaningful.

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