Starting a New Relationship with Food and Myself

by Janina Koch, Cologne/Germany

I wrote this down the other week… a realisation from my body which describes my relationship with food:

“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”

I used food all my life to not feel me and what is going on – as a treat for me, a reward. I loved watching TV with my wine, crisps and Belgian chocolate. It was the best part of my day. I looked forward to it. No matter how bloated I felt after, I ate a whole packet of crisps.

I didn’t want to deal with my stuff and with my life. And I didn’t want to deal with my relationship with food, or understand that the way I was eating was connected to my exhaustion, lack of vitality and commitment to life.

I defended this way of not taking responsibility for me and my life for a long time. I was convinced that life was too much and that I couldn’t handle it.

But now I know this is not true…

My mind always said “Oh, it doesn’t really matter if I eat more than I really need”, in a not very connected, rather racy way.

However, now my awareness of my relationship with food is changing and I can say it does matter.

To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.

To stuff myself by eating too much, and with heavy food, destroys the lovely connection I am building with myself. It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am.

There is no joy in doing that, even if the food tastes nice. The energy does not feel nice in the body, either during or after eating.

And, even though over the last 6 years I have changed to a mostly carbohydrate, dairy, sugar, alcohol and caffeine-free diet, I still did not change my relationship with food. I still used food as a reward and to numb by over-eating – especially with nuts, nuts and nuts and salty food. So it has been a process of constantly feeling what my body is telling me.

I am becoming more aware of how my mind tricks me by dictating what, when and how much I can choose to eat. I can still fall for this instead of listening to my body. My body does indicate to me in a much stronger way now, more than ever before I started to listen.

I feel this is super-important to say all of this, as it is normal for us to abuse ourselves with drink or food. Most people do it.

But…. there is a different way to be!

So now, it’s about starting a new relationship with food and myself. It’s in the way I deal with food, in the way I prepare and eat it – and in what I choose to eat to actually nourish my body. Now, I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.

Deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine


337 thoughts on “Starting a New Relationship with Food and Myself

  1. This offers a very true perspective on food and how we can use it, further to that, how what we eat certainly does affect everyone. We, therefore, have an opportunity to be with food in a very different way and to not use and abuse it to not feel. But the key is appreciating ourselves to a point where we would not even consider putting in anything to our bodies that dulls it, because the body feels so amazing and content.

    1. My body does feel amazing and very light…. yet I still use food to dull myself down, it feels to me some deeply ingrained habits take time as we adjust to a new way of being and of allowing ourselves to express all that we are without holding back an inch. I guess I am still holding back!

  2. In developing a loving relationship with our bodies we develop a relationship with truth, for our bodies will always reflect the truth of our choices. It is a great point you share here Janina, as even if we are eating foods that are knowingly more supportive for our bodies, we can still abuse, numb and dull ourselves depending on our intention of eating. As behind everything there is an energy first, and our bodies will always reflect the quality of energy that is moving us.

  3. Having the commitment to constantly fine-tune our relationship with food is the best support that we can offer our bodies to be a vessel for the volume that is needed in line with our own evolution.

    1. Nailed it Francisco, it feels very self-loving to continually and regularly do a stock take on what we are eating to get clarity if the food we are buying and eating still supports where we are now and in our evolution.

    2. Very inspiring Francisco, I love what you’ve share. It is a beautiful reminder for us to take responsibility for our choices and for our relationship with food, with people and with life, because everything matters as it affects our evolution and also affects the evolution of humanity.

  4. As my relationship with myself has deepened so too do my food choices lighten. It is difficult to feel lightness and clarity in the body when the food ingested is heavy and dense. Like closing a curtain on the bright and shining sun.

    1. As I am writing the sun is just rising and shining directly on me as if to confirm your comment. I have let some heavier food into my diet recently and I know it is not supporting me. I also know that I am resisting deepening my true relationship with myself despite my intentions so thank you for the inspiration.

  5. Thank you Janina. I loved reading this and your words find me at a time where I am very aware that I need to change my relationship with food. It can be a heavy subject but you bring a lightness and a joy to it that is contagious.

  6. I started “a new relationship with food” quite a few years ago and with the changes in my body and my health being so incredible I felt like I was starting life all over again. Gone were the days of feeling continuously miserable and exhausted, with one body issue after another, to be replaced with a feeling of lightness in my body, a steady increase in my vitality and a big increase in my energy for daily living. Food had finally became my friend and not my enemy.

    1. Great point Victoria. Whenever I focus on food as my issue I know I am off track as it has never really been about food. My diet at the moment is not supportive but instead of focussing on what I eat I know I need to focus on the way I move and the way I react or respond to the world around me.

  7. The body is very clear in its messages when it comes to food, what sits well and what doesn’t, puffy eyes, bloated stomach, allergies, heart palpitations, dizzy heads and the list goes on. A body that is well cared for and listened to responds in kind.

  8. I have found that when I don’t listen to my body and eat foods that don’t support it, my body is very quick in giving me a message either I get stomach ache or a mouth ulcer or I genuinely start to feel unwell and tired.

  9. It brings a deep honor to our body – what it is meant for and how we can treat it from our mind or our heart.. And so we are forever reminded/signalled by our body how to treat it and how it feels treated. Hence the greatest intelligence is our body – and we can turn that back on by living accordingly.

  10. This is so common with people, and a pattern I used to indulge in, and still have to watch that it does not try to creep back in at times, ‘To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.’

  11. Its those times of the day usually at the end or close to the end of my working day that I do not want to feel. The pain becomes too much that food is the vice I use to numb it. The pain is me not taking a moment to stop and deeply honour and call out what is not working in the way I’m living in that moment before that lead to that pain. The moment I honour my truth and be honest about how I feel is my own way of nourishing my body.

  12. I’ve been gluten, dairy, sugar, caffeine and alcohol-free for a decade and what a difference that has made! But there’s more to unravel as today, I’m discovering my relationship with food now is all about my relationship with awareness. If I don’t want to feel, I use food to dull me down. Now it’s about looking at the details, and quantities, and what it is I’m not wanting to feel.

    1. It is interesting as this awareness and relationship with our body is not the norm when it comes to food. Over the decades food has become more a comfort and enticement and waistlines are showing the result of this. Having a relationship with our bodies does refine our awareness and starts to alter what we choose to eat. This is my experience, and when I honour that my body loves it.

  13. It is always our choice whether to eat to numb ourselves or to eat to stay aware and in connection to ourselves. If we eat too much or heavy food, or even sugary or salty food, we lose our connection to our body and it then becomes easier to override what our body is communicating to us and even be disregarding with our body, and the quality and energy in our body from indulging in the above foods does not feel lovely at all.

  14. “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” So very true and what a great realisation to get to. Food can have such a dramatic effect on the way we are feeling and can perpetuate how we are feeling. Sorting ones diet and food choices out can go along way to claiming our body back for the love that it is.

  15. We can either eat to feel or eat not to feel. Thus, it is not so much that we are having a relationship with food as we are having a relationship with awareness, or lack of it. Every morsel of food we eat, depending on what kind and how much (and it is different for everyone with no set rules in place) can either support us to deepen in our clarity or, bludgeon our senses so we remain numb to life and the truth of all things.

  16. If anyone had told me a few years ago that it was possible to have another, more loving relationship with food, I would have probably been incredulous and then continued on with my very destructive relationship with what I ate and drank. Thankfully those self-destructive days have gone to be replaced with an evolving relationship with food that is in the main very respectful of my body and my body thanks me for it every day.

  17. ‘To stuff myself by eating too much, and with heavy food, destroys the lovely connection I am building with myself.’ I too am realising the same Janina.

  18. A new relationship with food….Hmmm, something to ponder on. Like a relationship with a person: somebody can truly support you, or after the first tantalizing conversation take you down as well. Interesting perspective!

  19. I realise sometimes I sabotage how amazing I feel by eating to dull down my joy. It relates back to an old habit of mine which stems from childhood hurts. I often experienced being joyful as a child and then feeling crushed by people putting me down or abusing me. Now I don’t experience any abuse from people around me but the thoughts that it’s not safe to be joyful sometimes creep in. It sounds crazy but it makes sense to me why I would sabotage feeling joyful because I still haven’t fully let go of fear. Fear of being attacked, fear of my own power and whenever I feel this way it is a choice to dull down being joyful. Being aware that I use food or create issues to avoid being joyful is a great start to make some different choices, more love choices and by choosing to let go of fear.

  20. What I am noticing lately is that even when I have been eating well, if I don’t stop to feel and choose what food would support me at each moment, even a ‘good’ diet becomes just a formula that has no love or truth in and my body tells me so. It is a relationship that I have to be working on constantly.

  21. Discipline is in the end not the way to not eat things we know that are not good for us. We then override a strong feeling that we want something with a counter force. When we start developing a relationship with the body, the body will, after a while clearly tell us what to eat and not eat, in that way it not so much a mental thing anymore and gets easier. And the more we let go of the things we shouldn’t eat the more clear the body speaks to us in terms of pain, unclarity or tiredness.

  22. Last night I went to a restaurant where they serve the most amazing gluten free bread. In the past, I have gone straight for it. Last night it didn’t appeal to me. I observed this, no judgement – just an observation in my body – and I could feel the lightness in my body and I knew that for a few seconds of a nice taste, that bread would make me feel heavy, disturb my sleep and then some. So what I realised from this is that I don’t have a food issue, I was just choosing in the past to not sit with and appreciate the lightness I felt in my body.

    1. Good point HM. It is about appreciating and honouring the lightness in my body and not get distracted by thoughts that when i am feeling so great tell me I can do and eat what ever I want.

  23. “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”

    I love this quote and it’s a perfect reminder and marker. At the moment I can say when I do not feel this deliciousness in me in my body then that is when the four issues can come in. So it’s about me keeping my body in the movements that support me to be in my fullness and allow the true energy to be through my body.

    1. This is a great quote because it is so true. I realise if I am moving already disconnected, the energy I am in drives me to make unloving choices, so learning to strip everything back and keep checking in with myself what energy I am choosing, pranic or firery energy? Then the choices that follows would be aligned to the energy I choose. Being aware of my relationship with food it great but also important to be aware of my relationship with myself and my choice of energy. If I choose a firery energy this will naturally support my food choices.

  24. ‘To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.’ Well said Janina if humanity listened to this wisdom and lived it I am sure diabetes 2 and the obesity levels would not be as high as they currently are.

    1. Hear hear – it’s simple. It is quite crazy that we actually have self inflicted illnesses happening in our bodies.

  25. I am joining you in that relationship! How I prepare food, how I eat it, going back further and looking at how I shop and what I buy – from today it all changes to lay a foundation for a more consistent approach. It feels a little like groundhog day, but that is what I love about my body and the larger body of God or Love I am held in, it hasn’t given up on me and neither should I. I will go round and round this sun till I learn how to let go of all the patterns of behaviour that take me away from being all that I am here to be.

  26. Food is one of our biggest traps to our wellbeing. There are many layers of beliefs with foods. One of mine was “a little bit of everything won’t hurt” and so it was a little bit of everything I had. My body as a result became over weight and bloated, I looked dull and not full of life. So I too started doing some of my own experiments with food that showed me that my body felt lighter with more vitality without certain foods. If I had them again my body would respond immediately and I could feel the effects of them really clearly, confirming that a) I didn’t deed them but also B) that effect was not an enjoyable feeling either. I would not have got to that understanding if I hadn’t have clearly felt that in my body.

  27. When we begin to really listen to our bodies, there is a level of self honouring that goes hand in hand with it. We feel more deeply connected, so we then feel good about ourselves and invariably make more loving food choices.

    1. This is key. To be with our fuller selves then we keep making choices that continue to nourish us. There is no greater nourishment for the body than being with and living with our Soul.

  28. The relationship we have with ourselves, will govern the relationship we have with food. The more we know, understand and appreciate about ourselves the less need we have of food and the more we make nourishing food choices.

  29. Sure Janina, there is another way of being, a way that is in appreciation of the preciousness and delicateness our bodies are. Therefore choosing to become more aware of what life is doing to us and in understanding that we have created mechanisms for not having to feel the impact of how we conduct life in our bodies, by eating foods that numb the body we can change our way of living and stop to numb the body and with that allow ourselves to reconnect with the reality of life again.

  30. Beautiful, it is the way we do things; in this matter about eating foods. The poweful aspect of it is that once we use our intelligence of our body : so the signals and responding to for example certain foods, and we trust that and follow those signs, we are actually better of healthwise than ignoring and listening to our heads. Thinking we think we are clever whilst actually we are not! Ha, what a bummer! But one of truth is always stronger. Hence our body is stronger than our mind when it comes down to showing us the truth.

  31. Janina I like what you share about having a true relationship with food in the way we deal with it, prepare it and eat it, this is something I have began to become aware of. I just use to eat because I had to for energy, but the way I was preparing or having it prepared was not in the supporting energy, so no matter how nutritious the meal was, it was still leaving me low in vitality and energy.

  32. We can cut certain foods out, eat a certain way and tick many boxes but until we look at our relationship with food we may still have food “issues”.

  33. Thank you Janina, there is no food in the world that can compare to the yumminess of feeling who we truly are and it is only through appreciation of ourselves that we can never accept anything else which can make us feel less than that.

  34. and I experience that there is also needed to be open to feel what we want to eat. What do we feel what we try to keep down to not feel. To open up to feel our hurts we also start to feel our love again which we always was and always will be.

  35. Realising that food may not be the issue but the after effect of something more subtle can allow a lot of space to understand what is behind the want and desire for certain foods.

  36. “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me”. This is a sign that needs to be on every fridge; I would certainly love one on mine. What you have written here is so true, but sadly not yet understood by many, as food has become a way to numb the stresses and strains of the world, burying the wonderful beings that we are under an avalanche of products that our bodies simply cannot cope with. I found that by building a new relationship with me naturally lead to a new relationship with food and my body thanks me every day.

  37. By eating foods that don’t agree with our bodies we turn our back on developing and/or deepening a relationship with the love that we are. Thank you for this reminder Janina.

  38. It is a great revelation you share Janina – that the food we eat for comfort, relief or reward is only perpetuating the need to eat the food we think will give us comfort, relief or reward. But in fact it is this choice of food that is actually hindering our sense of clarity to know and feel the truth of what is truly needed in honor of our bodies. Instead we are adding to our exhaustion, unease in the body, and to us feeling un-well therefore needing relief or an escape. You have highlighted the power that comes when we choose to discern the energy of what we are eating and why we are choosing it. For food may seem appealing to our taste buds, but the result is far from appealing in our bodies, if we are choosing foods without being aware of what we are craving and why.

  39. It is through our commitment to connecting with our bodies that we get to know our quality within, and the more we choose, appreciate and accept this the more we will realise there can be no food in the world that can compromise this gem within us all.

  40. When it comes to food choices, discipline never worked for me. What is effective is asking myself why I want to eat a certain thing and realising that it’s not about the food but that Ii’m choosing it instead of expressing how I feel about something – to myself or another.

  41. Making choices to listen to our body is so key and also what you point out “It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am.” This is so true, I have found this to be the case for myself. When I over eat, it does stop me from feeling my tenderness and it does stop me from being in my awareness.

  42. I love the concept of choosing to treat our bodies with love, preciousness and respect by committing to being aware of and listening to what will truly nourish it… rather than the harm that can be caused by just feeding it whatever we fancy. The rewards of this kind of relationship as you have shared, are profound and a testament to making loving and supportive choices around food.

  43. “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” I will endeavour to remember to say this to my spirit every time it presents me with any tempting foods (which is quite regularly).

  44. I agree with you 100% Janina “I feel this is super-important to say all of this, as it is normal for us to abuse ourselves with drink or food. Most people do it.” Despite knowing this I still haven’t mastered it but will continue to build my awareness and relationship with myself and it will only be a matter of time.

  45. Thanks Janina for the lovely invitation to consider our bodies as part of the choices when we are feeling something from our day that food or drink may distract us from. Choosing us over a consumable item is a far more honnouring and a long term supportive choice rather than the very instant/temporary relief that leaves a dull – possibly hung-over residual

  46. We have learnt to use food as a way to sabotage our own divinity and connection to God, once we start to develop a foundation of appreciation and value in our bodies it becomes easier to be honest with our relationship with food and make changes accordingly.

    1. So true Francisco. We have learnt to use food as a way to escape the unease we feel, the unease of not living in connection to our Soul. When we begin to develop a loving relationship with our bodies we then come to know that honoring our truth is honoring our bodies with love, and anything less that this is simply an abusive choice which does not support us to deepen our connection to love, to our Soul and with God.

  47. I love how the more you listen to your body the more you hear; the messages become much easier to read so you are less likely to ignore them. As a result of years of ignoring the continual stream of messages that my body was giving me about the food I was eating, I finally listened and it was so worth it. Removing gluten, dairy, sugar and a few other things from my diet has given me a whole new lease on life, with lots more energy, way less weight and a hugely improved quality of living.

  48. In my experience the mind will nearly always advocate for more food and at all and every occasion – once we learn to listen to the body, the message changes completely.

    1. I have experienced this many times, the mind’s answer for ‘more food’ never really addressing the life before us (as the tension comes back or never truly goes away) but the body’s messages to life does make more sense and often isn’t just about eating something. We are more than the act of eating.

  49. “Now, I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.” what a lovely line to complete on. We all have choices when it comes to our food and body. A lot of the time we let go of feeling the body, but allow ourselves to go with what our mind wants, but when we make loving choices, our body feels it and very much appreciates it too.

  50. If we are not aware – we do not have to feel what is there and so we do not have to take responsibility for how we feel. Therefore the best thing to do is to numb our ability to be aware with food and most of us are specialists in that. We know exactly what and how much we have to eat to numb this awareness in each situation!

  51. Our relationship with food is not separate from the relationship with everything else in our lives. Therefore before we have a problem with food we have another area in our lives where truth is not being lived. When we are living all we are then our bodies will choose foods to nourish over foods that can alter our state of being.

  52. “I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.” When we are truly connected and feel the beauty of who we truly are, why would we want to numb that with food that doesn’t support us? I also know the self-sabotage (and eat foods that no longer support me) after feeling so yummy – time to put an end to that one.

  53. Well said Janina, “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”. So many of us, (I would have to say all of us) have used food to not feel what is going on for us or to avoid feeling a hurt or pain of some sort. It is amazing how when something happens that I do not like how much auto-pilot kicks in wanting some sort of food/snack. Yet when I do not give into the desire to not feel what has happened the situation becomes much clearer and I get to understand and resolve it rather then it stay lingering with me. Sure food can stop the immediacy of the feeling but it only stops it coming up for a while and then when it comes back up it feels even worse.

  54. I feel what you have written here is super-important, Janina, and know for myself the truth of what you share. However I have also taken it to the extreme that I have given myself a really hard time over eating something that I know doesn’t support me to build that lovely connection with myself, or when I’ve overeaten for comfort, or to not feel something or for whatever reason. This behaviour too does not support connection with ourselves. Any ‘shoulds’ or expectations we have of ourselves are instantly a disconnection from our loveliness.

  55. There is a different way to be with food, and yet it is as if its tendrils are wrapped around our psyche deep inside, and it takes such vigilance and awareness and indeed a willingness to feel what we had given over to inside of us to even start to address this particular addiction.

  56. “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” Thank you Janina for this tasty reminder that feeling the loveliness of who we are is so much more fulfilling than food.

  57. I can so relate to eating to relieve tension and as a reward. But my body tells me loud and clear when what and how much I’m eating is not truly nourishing for me.

  58. Thank you Janina for bringing awareness to the relationship we can have with food. To see it as a relationship is already a great start and to see it as a relationship that we can determine how it is going to be, that we are the key factor in it, is even grander. It is so easy to make it about food, what to eat and what not, how much or how little, which diet to follow, when to eat, how often, the list can go on, but what you present here, how you feel and how you are with and in your body, is the missing link that we often do not consider. Working on the connection we have with our body can answer us many questions.

  59. ‘There is no joy in doing that, even if the food tastes nice. The energy does not feel nice in the body, either during or after eating.’ I agree completely Janina. There is no joy in over indulging, yet at the time it can appear that there is an excitement or stimulation with eating certain foods, especially if they are a treat! But do the treats, rewards or stimulation ever last long? No. It is not sustainable and ultimately does not confirm who we are within, the Love we are from or the connection we hold to everything around us.

  60. The over indulgence of food is completely normal and we even have events that champion how many hot dogs one can shove in their mouth within a certain time frame. Yet, this is a normal thing! This may sound radicle, but image if that was happening with drug taking or other known harmful substances, would we be championing that too or be a little more quick to say ‘something is very wrong with this picture’…? We can use food to really harm ourselves, and like Janina, a global reassessment needs to happen where our relationship with food is explored – but it starts with ourselves first.

  61. Since I re-commenced my relationship with my inner heart, I have found that my body reveals to me which foods supports it, the amount it requires and how often I should eat. This can vary from day to day and meal to meal, so it requires of me to check in and listen to my body on a regular basis. This is very much a work in progress but I can say that it is well worth doing this, as the vitality and harmony I feel when I honour the wishes of my body, is exquisite. Janina, reading your blog has inspired me to deepen further, my relationship with food.

  62. As you reveal, our minds are tricksters that lie to us and mislead us. Our minds tell us it is fine to abuse our bodies, in fact our minds could not care less about the results of its decisions on our body. If we sit with this we can feel the truth of it, but why as a species are we not asking ourselves why our mind doesn’t care about our body and why we allow our minds to have its self destructive way with us? It doesn’t make sense and it also doesn’t make sense that we don’t ask this question.

  63. It is very interesting how much we can abuse ourselves with food whilst we are under the perception that we are rewarding ourselves.

  64. Janina, food is for me also something I’ve used like a drug when I don’t want to feel what is going on in and around me. I could feel very strongly when you said ‘It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am’ that this is what we do when we dishonour the body, and the more I’m listening to my body the more I’m finding those places where I still do so, so it’s a constant refining without any perfection. and reading this now I’m reminded that each time I over ride my body it tells me loud and clear that this is not working.

  65. I am realising now how much over-eating or eating what doesn’t feel true for my body can drop the quality of my connection, also how when there is something that I don’t want to feel, how food is something that can be used to dull, numb or take me out of my presence.

  66. As I sit here feeling rather bloated having just overeaten I am left asking myself the question “Do I care enough to listen to my body and not overeat simply because I want comfort, dulling, reward etc.?” Clearly tonight the answer is ‘no’, which is pretty hard to feel. But what I do feel from this being exposed is that i do not want to continue not caring because I am in truth a deeply caring person, but this care has to be for myself before it can be for any other and this starts with listening to my body and not overriding anything – particularly how much and what I feel to eat.

  67. Thank you Janina, I love the simplicity of what you share here and see that it offers a potential for us all to reassess the when the why and the how we eat and prepare our food

  68. Janina you have presented many great aspects on this subject of food and our relationship with it. I can follow in your steps completely and am deepening my relationship with food. It can be our medicine or poison depending on the intent of why we are eating it. To nourish our beautiful respectful bodies or dull, numb.and abuse with disregard to our bodies.

  69. My personal relationship with food has changed enormously over the years, and our food intake needs to adjust accordingly to the changes we make in our lives for when I don’t my body speaks loud and clear letting me know I have gone too far.

  70. Food never destroys the connection we have with ourselves, it just dulls it just like it dulls our awareness of the ugliness of the situations around us that we do not want to feel. Sensitivity and vulnerability are definitely super important in allowing us to remain steady with feeling everything and not choosing to abuse our bodies using food in this way

  71. The message you have conveyed in this blog Janina is so important, that being, to treat your body with love, preciousness and respect. If this is our foundation we will not abuse our bodies with food but listen deeply to what is required. For me food can still be an indication that I am not honouring or listening to my body.
    Your blog is a timely reminder thank you.

  72. The use of food as a reward is a big deal – it’s like an epidemic amongst man really. What other species does such a thing, expect of course dogs and other domestic pets that have picked up on our habits..? Why do we need the reward? Is our life that flat and miserable that we look for excitement in a meal? I know if I’ve had a disconnected day at work, I certainly look forward to a good dinner to fix things, which is really harmful and already a set up for abuse (to over eat). Food will never connect me back to myself, that is why we breath, my breath and movements and understanding will allow connection.

  73. A new relationship with food, I love this and feel really inspired to go deeper with the invitation. Even though the food I eat is not classed as ‘bad’ food, I can still over eat . I can see pretty clearly that for me, what the food is doesn’t matter as much now but the way I eat and why I want to eat is what affects my connection within. Of course, if I was to eat a donut I would most probably get much more sick then I would eating a gluten free pasta – but why I am eating those foods is the focus now. Too long I’ve played the puppet to my thoughts and just gone for whatever I’ve felt like. Now I am taking the lead and having a say in what I put in my mouth.

  74. We usually aren’t taught to understand that food is not meant to be a reward. It is common to see right from the early years that parents give their children sweets etc as a reward for doing something that pleases the adult. What a trap! As the years progress it’s no wonder that food becomes associated with reward, pleasure and a way of not facing up to things. Great sharing Janina and it’s obvious from the comments that there are many of us who can relate to what you have written.

  75. We are told when we are young to eat everything on our plate, whether we feel to or not, and if we do we are allowed to play or watch TV. Could this be where we start stuffing down food as a reward or because of the reward that will come next? Also I remember, as I’m sure many would, saying that I had two stomachs, even if I was full, one for dinner and one for desert. The awful feeling of being bilious means that the whole moment is then made about food and not about connection with ourselves or others around. Staying connected with ourselves and each other than allows us to make wise decisions from our bodies of what food to eat.

  76. Very appropriate today that I have read your sharing with us Janina. Its taken some while (how many lifetimes?) to finally get to the point of really feeling and listening to my body. It is so clear in giving the signals to what foods harm and what foods heal/nourish. Those many mind numbing ‘tricks’ that are given a free way to manipulate those inbuilt signals can be a ‘mind field’ and, only yesterday the full force of those tricks became so apparent with the help of another student as we were sharing our food habits. Your blog sums this up so well/clearly. “Its a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am”. Interestingly when this happens my whole being is affected and this in turns affects all my choices thereafter and my relationship with others. I do feel a corner has been turned and these highly tuned up bodies are so wise – now to listen, constantly having an awareness when wisdom is given for free.

  77. Brilliant to re-read your blog Janina at a time when I am discovering even more the effects of the choices I am making around food. When you consider the reason why you are eating and actually stop to feel if what your mind ‘wants’ is actually true often you can track back to a feeling such as overwhelm or exhaustion. When we stop and actually feel this it becomes evident that food is being used to not feel and to some extent mask the truth of what is really going on. It is something I am beginning to notice and be aware of and I feel it is going to allow me to truly feel how it is I am actually eating.

  78. If we do not live in a way that is open to connect to other people, communicate how we feel and also if something does not feel right, listen to our body and honor and appreciate who we are than we need things to make up for not feeling in harmony with ourselves and life. Food is a welcome way of filling, rewarding and distracting us.

  79. A great message here about how over-eating causes a heaviness, lethargy and disinclination to deal with with what is really going on in our lives and what we’re using food to mask. There’s a world of difference in how I feel in and about my body when I honour not just what it wants to eat but also when and how much. For me, less is definitely becoming more – more vitality, more energy and more resilience.

    1. Yesterday at work I was eating in the morning already too much because I did want to deal with what is going on and how I felt. So at lunch time I nominated what was going on which helped me not simply run and eat my lunch even though I wasn’t hungry just to fill myself up. So I did not have lunch instead lay down, rested and felt very supported, present and powerful.

  80. The other day i did not have breakfast. What i observed is that i was able to feel how tender and delicate i am and was able to let myself be seen in that quality. In eating more than needed we dull our level of sensitivity.

    1. Absolutely beautiful Janina. Lately I am seeing that I have used almost everything I have ever eaten to dull myself. I have started eating food that my body truly wants and it is a huge adjustment as the ‘hook’ of the food that dulls me is what I have equated with enjoyment. Your blog allows me to feel that true enjoyment is being connected to myself.

      1. The body actually doesn’t need much food at all. We often eat not because we are hungry but because we want to eat or think we have to eat something. So there are still a lot ideals and beliefs and images around the subject of food we need to nominate and look at.

  81. Definite yes to treating ‘my body with love, preciousness and respect’. Getting honest about the ways that I abuse my body with food has been a slow process but the more I build my appreciation for me the less need I have to fill the emptiness of missing me with overeating. Love how you expose that it is the energy we are in way before we put the food in our mouth that dictates our food choices and building this awareness supports us to feel what is true for us in each instance.

  82. Thank you Janina for this awesome blog. Our relationship with food is a important topic to discuss as it is something I realise not many people are willing to look at. I was one to overeat too a few years ago and not realising it was a form of abuse. Is it possible that we are slowly killing our body with food? Not just by overeating but with our food choices. When we eat for comfort the types of food we choose are often loaded with sugar, salt and fat. What we put into our body affects how it functions and the type of energy we allow in to run us causes us to disconnect from ourselves and from others.

  83. How often are we actually eating because we are hungry? How much food do we really need? How often are we eating because we don’t want to feel what is actually going on. How often are we eating because we are exhausted and need stimulation? How often are we eating because we feel disconnected from ourselves?
    Is it possible that once we build a deeper connection with ourselves that food/drink loses the importance it has for many people? That we start eating in a way that support this connection.

  84. Thanks Janine, this topic about food and overeating is something that is something that i’m becoming very aware of at the moment. I feel that the over eating for me is a dulling down, a creating of a feeling of numbness so i’m not aware of how i’m feeling.

  85. It is essential for me to realise that allowing myself to be irresponsible with food and therefore abusive to my body is allowing an energy that is not love, to rule my body. Thank you Janina for pointing this out. This is not something to beat myself up with, but something to be strongly aware of so that I can change a pattern.

  86. The other day after a Sacred Movement Dance class, with Karin Becker from Australia, I felt so deeply connected within my body, that day my connection was so strong that food was of no interest and i did not each much at all.

  87. It is rediculous sometimes when I eat too much, even if it is healthy food, it does destroy the lovely connection that I know that I am. You are right Janina; that moment I am letting a unloving energy rule my life.

  88. Thank you Janina for such an awesome blog. This is perfect timing for me to read this as I have a strong feeling to change my relationship with food and to eat to support me not to dull me and exhaust me. Even though my diet can be very healthy I can see there are still areas I need to look at with the amounts I am eating or eating when I am not hungry – a constant learning and refining worth committing to.

    1. I agree Anna our relationship with food is a “constant learning” to become more aware, more honest and to listen to our body. And even I eat much less and have reduced my diet to very healthy food I still choose to eat in a way to stimulate my nervous system and therefore I feel less of me. With the underlying belief that the world would be too much to feel when I am not filled with a certain amount of food. But really it shows that I am still reacting to a lot of things around me instead of observing and holding myself steady.

  89. Driving on my way home from work i was wondering How much food do i really need to eat every day. How much is my way of eating still determined by ideas about how much, how often i should be eating and the pleasure of wanting to eat or the need to dull, numb not to feel myself and what is going on.

  90. “I also still have cravings and sometimes fall back with certains foods. This has nothing to do with the foods, but with me, my connection and my own relationship.” Exactly Mariette! So if we struggle with food it is not about discipline but focus back on our connection and relationship to ourselves. If we build a stronger loving foundation with ourselves it supports us to build a loving relationship with food.

    1. ‘If we build a stronger loving foundation with ourselves it supports us to build a loving relationship with food.’ Absolutely Janina it’s about committing to our connection with ourselves and that is then reflected in our relationship with food.

  91. I can relate to changing your diet and not eating certain foods any more. But like you, I have reached a point where it is no longer about what I do eat or don’t, but to truly establish a loving relationship with food. I also still have cravings and sometimes fall backs with certains foods. This has nothing to do with the foods, but with me, my connection and my own relationship. Learning every day!

    1. Yes the issue is never really with the food, what comes before we make the choice to eat this or that is our relationship with ourselves, what we are willing or not to feel. If we are tired do we go for the coffee and sugar, if feeling an upset do we go for a comfort food, if we are bored do we go for stimulation? Quite a science the way we can use food, and it seems it is getting more ‘creative’ by the day.

  92. At the end you say, Janina, it also has to do with the way we eat and that is something I am focussing on. When I eat on my own I have noticed that I seek distraction while I am eating, for instance listening to an audio , going through the post, or texting someone – you get the picture? So I make myself a lovely meal and then it is as if I say to myself, ‘you are not worth this meal and the time it takes to eat it.’ I understood (clocked) this the other day (with the support of a lovely friend). Now I sit down to eat, connect to me and my worth and enjoy me and my food. That feels like an important work in progress for me.

    1. It’s super interesting how we do things differently when other people are involved, I notice that in myself all the time, and find it super easy to distract myself when alone, but as an amazing friend pointed out to me this morning, you are actually never alone, and there are no moments that do not count.

      1. I really felt this strongly this morning Meg, that I have a responsibility to everyone in every moment. ( even when I am alone) It doesn’t feel like a burden or something too big to handle, it is just a simple fact. When I simply honour this fact I honour myself and in turn my body and my desire to fill myself up with food, or to seek tastiness, has no sway.

  93. Funny Janina, like you I have refined what I eat but still get those cravings but this time its for nuts, nuts and nuts! However, the major benefit of changing my diet is that I can feel the difference more quickly. No longer is there no association, on the contrary it is finely tuned and my body tells me very quickly when I’m doing something it does not agree with.

  94. Janina,
    It is timely that I find myself reading your blog this evening. I have just today had the understanding that it is time to deepen my relationship with food and your blog flags all of the reasons as to why I have been putting off truly claiming this. Thank you.

  95. “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” I love this simple and profound truth, on this planet we are all crazy about food – it’s all about stimulation, taste and comfort – we eat things that are so unnatural because they taste good, and forget that food is primarily there for our nourishment and nutrition.

    1. Totally agree Meg – we’re all focussed on the taste, and ignore the much more fundamental role food has to play in our stomach, intestines, blood, health, nutrition etc. etc. There is so much more going on than taste alone, yet we override that for a brief bit of stimulation.

      1. I know! It’s crazy just how obsessed we are with the taste and sensation of food, it really shows just how wayward we are that we put pleasure before our health.

      2. Yes so true Simon, for that brief moment of stimulation we actually suffer for much longer afterwards from feeling tired, bloated, headaches and even feeling sick. Often my mind conjures up these amazing taste sensations to entice me to eat foods that are not supportive for my body but when I listen to my body it will always lovingly guide me to eat to nourish not for comfort.

  96. A great article Janina, when we allow our mind to dictate our choices especially with food, it is very harming for our body. Our body knows what is naturally good for us and is a great guide and support to refining our self-loving choices, the more we listen the more our body can reveal to us.

    1. Exactly Linda, and as soon I have allowed the unloving energy in, I want more of the food that is destroying the loving connection with myself and with others.

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