196 thoughts on “Universal Medicine Before and After – the Man beneath the Tattoos and Dreads”

1. I’ve never been the biggest fan of tattoos as much as some are really artistic, intricate and even beautiful. But you posed an interesting question, ‘why do we feel the need to drastically change the way we look?’ And this could be in the clothes we wear too.

   I’m not suggesting we walk around naked either, but the fact that we hide from ourselves and others around us. Just to be someone we are not. Why not be who we truly are and live from there and let others be who they want to be too. Somewhere along the way, we will find our way, it only takes one to inspire another.

2. “A lot of my wanting to hide was from my lack of confidence within myself.” This reminded me of an exercise I did at a spiritual workshop – long before Universal Medicine days – when we all chose a mask to wear and acted accordingly. Being a shy person I was amazed how different I felt and could act out a part- that wasn’t truly myself. Why do we find it so difficult sometimes to just shine as the glorious beings we re in truth?

3. The more I learn about people with tattoos and those who drink and take drugs, the more I realise these are deeply sensitive folk who find the world too much to deal with.

   1. Sue I agree, the more people turn to vices that separate them from others, the more I realise they are sensitive to what is going around them and unable to separate that from themselves. So instead of observing, they become a sponge and absorb everything around them and take on things that do not belong to them. It’s a spiralling cycle unless you are offered a reflection and true support, then things can change if it is chosen.

4. What you share Tony is very inspirational, ‘For me a man is about being loving, tender, supportive and being able and willing to share my feelings. Those traits aren’t being weak. I now feel that they are strengths that I am choosing to embrace.’

5. Hiding behind tattoos, beard and hair makes sense in a world where a truly sensitive and tender man is not seen as the norm. And yet this sensitivity and tenderness is the natural state of any man. With Tony stepping out as he has, he gives permission to any other man to do likewise.

   1. Henrietta, a sensitive tender man needs to be reflected more and more for others to see and feel. A newborn cries whether it is boy or a girl and they need equal amounts of love, it should not be measured, it is that simple.

      1. On the maternity ward where I work I often see new fathers being so tender with their newborns. But how long will this last I wonder, especially if its a boy..

   2. Yes, such a beautiful reflection for all men to witness, that its ok to be tender and sensitive. The world so need that.

6. Tony, what a heart-felt sharing! Amazing to feel how you have allowed those things that have kept you hidden from the world, to fall away, showing who you are to us all! What a loss that would have been to not have you showing this to us. It is an inspiration for anyone to read this blog and consider how we each might be doing our own form of hiding…

7. As men we all get told to toughen-up and as you have shared Tony our resolve to toughen or fortify our fragile tender being as men is empowering and also inspirational as you are casting a true reflection of what a True man is.

   1. Working in a primary school I see young boys enter as gorgeous open sensitive young people that gradually disappears as they go through school, toughening up and putting on acts of bravado. So sad. We need more true male role models to show that there is another way.

8. We so heavily rely on the appearance to define what it is in front of us, like image is everything. We use our sight to judge and project from either end. And what I love about your sharing, Tony, is that we can try so hard at it to the point we convince ourselves and others that we are however the way we look, but our true essence never leaves us.

9. What a great transformation – I love that you took the steps to change you life around. That is what is so inspiring about reading these blogs, they are about real people making very real choices.There’s no magic wand, just simple choices.

10. I too created an image for myself so people wouldn’t want to be around me – and yet wanted love like nothing else, as all of us do. So to re-discover how beautiful we are is one of the greatest discoveries of all time.

11. “I never considered that I was trying to hide behind my image. At the time I saw it as rebelling”. It’s amazing how conformist our perceived rebellion actually is. I went through a stage of wearing alternative clothes and listening to alternative music. As an elder now I see how similar these alternatives actually are and how they gave me an image but kept me away from knowing the real me. I remember meeting Tony when he had dreads and it was easy to see how sweet and sensitive he was, so the cover up never really worked!

12. In a world where the majority seem to view “sensitivity as a weakness and not manly”, it must be very challenging for a man to claim that he is not the tough guy the world expects him to be, but a very tender and sensitive human being. I deeply appreciate the fact that there are men like you Tony, who have said goodbye to the tough guy and have embraced who you truly are, and have been from the day you were born.

13. Tony your story is very inspiring, the before and after photos show a tender man willing to drop the mask and protection and let the world see who you truly are.

14. The quality between your before and after picture is so different. I feel I know many men who are as sensitive as you but they don’t know it or accept it, and they do not see this sensitivity that I see, but it is there. There is protection when they feel and it comes immediately as a wall. This wall hurts those around them and this is even more that they don’t want to feel as it not only hurts themselves but others now. And there needs to be reasons to justify why they can judge or hurt another.

15. The photos show it all, it’s like 2 completely different people Tony, and to see your lightness and joy now is so beautiful. And thank you for the new understanding around tattoos, and the question you ask as to why ‘we choose to turn our skin and body into a colouring-in book by getting tattoos?’, how it’s a way of projecting an image and hiding behind it, it cuts any judgements and allows us to see beyond what people project to the true beauty that is underneath.

    1. The before and after photos speak volumes, and yes, ‘I don’t need an image to hide behind anymore because I am great just the way I am.’

16. What a beautiful invitation to the best rediscovery on the planet. I spent most of my life hiding by being small, it’s still my go to at times but I’m learning and rediscovering that I am actually an amazing strong woman and to not hide that away or shy away from it in any way.

17. A few years ago I was introduced to a man who would help me with some heavy things in the garden. If I had met him on the street I would have walked on the other side. He was big, muscly, covered in tattoos and piercings, yet once I got to know him he had such a big heart and would do anything for anyone. Taught me not to judge a book by the cover…..

18. “…why do we feel the need to drastically change the way we look? ” A great question and one that both men and women do in their various ways. When we feel settled and content in our own skin we have no need to change our looks. However young people can get caught up in peer pressure – to conform in their rebellion – and so may do things they may later regret. There are so many ways we choose to bury ourselves – at any age too ….

19. Tony, I really love the honesty you have written with, it’s a much needed discussion and an article that is so very needed as the quantity of people and size of tattoos seems to be growing at a staggering rate.

20. It is hard to see so many beautiful delicate young women in London with huge tattoos and a hard exterior which take away from their natural grace.

21. Rebelling is simply the decision to wear another custom to move more at ease in a chosen quarter of the House of Lies while reacting to others living in a different quarter and wearing different means of disguise.

22. Rebelling only reveals how deeply entrenched is our vibrational contract with the status quo (understood in its true way), from which we do not vibrationally pull out: only react to it and, from there, choose a more comfortable way to remain in it. Your way, however, is not just your way or your means to get identification. For you, it is a superior one. For you, feeling superior, hence comparing, is everything.

23. “I don’t need an image to hide behind anymore because I am great just the way I am.” To hear that is beautiful and something so very much needed in this world, that we allow ourselves to simply feel amazing for just who we are, and drop all the armour and pretence we have learned to live with.

    1. Well said Esther, for to love oneself unconditionally and not need to change for others is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and all others for in so doing we also love others unconditionally too.

24. It feels so great and liberating to come out from one’s hiding and the beauty and joy of this is plainly seen in your photo, Tony. Thank you for sharing.

25. Love this blog Tony and the sensitive man you now know yourself to be and choose to present to the world in full – a great reminder of the truth that it is unwise to be judging a ‘book’ by its cover, limiting our view of whatever it is we are judging.

26. What an extraordinary transformation Tony, your before and after photos says it all, you are such an inspiration to men and women everywhere to accept their own beauty and sensitivity and to not hide these qualities from the world.

27. It is very beautiful and humbling to read how much honesty we can allow in ourselves to feel and let go of what is not ours. We often use images to manipulate how we want to be received by others, but when it doesn’t quite fit our agenda, we feel judged and rejected. It empowers us to no end when we get to know and accept ourselves by our true quality.

28. Finding yourself like you have Tony, should be part of our school teachings and learning that we all can get this from feeling our-self, which is “being loving, tender,” as our “strengths”.

29. We do allow ourselves to be fooled by our eyes or at least our interpretations of what we see. If I look at your before photo I can still see and feel you there in your eyes but often we let our preconceived images and fears of beards, tattoos and long hair blind us to the truth of the person before us.

30. Interesting how you tried to cover up your sensitivity by being hairy and scary. I have often observed how deeply gentle and sensitive a lot of tough looking guys are.

    1. Yes, this is a beautiful observation and it shows how important it is to not linger on and judge outer appearances but to allow ourselves to feel from our heart.

       1. Yes because the other way around applies to and some people who look really great on the outside do not live to that.

31. I look at your before and after Tony and really can appreciate that within us all no matter what we look like on the outside there is an essence within that can come back to life when it is revitalised at any time.

32. Rebelling is a profound act of investment in the status quo.

33. This is a great testimony to the falsity and lie of judgement. Many could judge you with you were with dreadlocks for your look, perhaps your smell and your cold shield and guard put up to keep them out. But in this judgement we miss seeing the truth of the person and who is underneath which you have proven is always a very beautiful and tender, sensitive and loving being worth loving no less than who they truly are.

34. This is such a great relatable blog Tony, your story rings true for so many that have chosen the hiding route in life instead of love and acceptance of the beauty we are.

35. The part about the stickers really got me into giggles. And they are just that, a sticker we put on top of what is already there yet when we get a tattoo it can be to cover us up or as I did, to make us something or a part of something we are in truth not.

36. We can try and hide behind how we portray ourselves but we cannot hide from ourselves as we know deep inside that we are a loving, sensitive human being.

37. It is beautiful to re-visit this blog and deepen the appreciation of what is possible when we return to the truth of who we all are, innately so, in our Divine Essence.
    “That real self is a deeply caring man, full of love.”

38. This is such a beautiful blog Tony, thank you for sharing your amazing changes with us all. The world needs to see how such transformation is possible, hence why sharing your story on this public blog is fabulous. Let all those who are open to it be inspired by you to make their own changes for themselves…

39. What an amazing unfolding back to your true self, Tony. Your joy in re-discovering how beautiful you are shines through not just in your blog, but in your whole being in your ‘After Universal Medicine’ photograph.

40. Super gorgeous Tony, when we walk out of our hiding the whole universe get a blessing.

41. ‘So why can we be so unhappy in our own skin that we choose to turn our skin and body into a colouring-in book by getting tattoos?’ And why are so many men and women nowadays unhappy in their skin as more and more people are choosing to have a tattoo and most of the times more than one.

42. Tony this is beautiful to see how you have evolved into the loving sensitive man you are today, and none of your past photos resemble who you are today.

43. What a gorgeous transformation, thank you for sharing and inspiring us to be true to ourselves.

44. Great sharing Tony, it is difficult for young men to allow their sensitivity to be openly felt, and rebelling against the harsh realities of the world is something I have observed over the years, it is beautiful how you have allowed your sensitivity to grow, and the more men openly show their sensitivity as a strength the greater the reflection is for other young men to allow their sensitivity to be part of them without feeling the need to hide it or become something they are not.

45. So great to see the care in your face Tony, your eyes lit up and that warm open smile. It’s wonderful to feel how we all benefit from a man who is open to his feelings compared to one who is not. It’s important for society and our relationships that all men do honour their tenderness and sensitivity.

46. This blog is lovely to read, what a blessing you attended some Universal Medicine events and from there allowed your true self to be seen and felt, ‘ is about being loving, tender, supportive and being able and willing to share my feelings. Those traits aren’t being weak. I now feel that they are strengths that I am choosing to embrace.’

47. With regards to tattoos, its hard to find a young person walking down the street who doesn’t have one. Yesterday I saw a young woman with the whole of one leg covered in tattoos, back and front. It used to be a small piece on a part of the body sometimes not normally seen, but now its getting more extreme. You ask a great question – ‘Why do we feel the need to drastically change the way we look?’ And my understanding is that they are very painful to get. This is worth discussing.

48. There are many ways to hide our sensitivity. I’ve just realised my primary way was with food to dull me from feeling, and weight to provide an additional physical barrier. I’ve known about these 2 ways for a long time. What I didn’t know was exactly why I was using them – to feel less vulnerable and fragile. It’s great to get clear on this.

49. This is a great example of how an image and ideal gets in a way of us feeling enough to be who we naturally are and let ourselves be. “I never considered that I was trying to hide behind my image. At the time I saw it as rebelling“ – this is huge, you are basically saying we use an image to counter an image – lies fighting lies. It’s very beautiful when we realise this and go back to the simplicity of truth. And the sparkle and beauty and ease I feel in your recent photos say so much.

50. The power of what you’ve claimed here in your words resonates deeply Tony: “That real self is a deeply caring man, full of love.”
    How often, is it the most deeply sensitive of beings who turns to a lifestyle of self-abuse and hiding? Are we willing to see that we’ve created a society that fosters such pain and inner turmoil? A society that keeps us from the deep care and love that all are capable of bringing?
    We are all responsible for the predominant attitude that men need to be ‘tough’ and it is doing us immense harm. In this, the buck stops with the way we live our own lives – how we treat each other and honour also ourselves, that we may make not only reparation, but nurture a societal change that allows the true light of all to shine.

51. It takes great inner strength to step out of any facade we may have been hiding behind in life… and so it’s very powerful that you share this Tony. I would truly like to hear more about what occurred when you found yourself ’emerging’ and re-engaging openly with people and in life through the change you went through, as this is such a powerful transformation…
    For me, nought has compared to being truly met and seen as all that I am by Serge Benhayon, and then many others now today – no expectations, no imposition, nothing ‘coming at me’ to fight me or shut me down… just the pure beauty of being held in real love. And the deepest of inspiration that I also intend to the best of my ability to see beyond the veneer and the facade, to the true and beautiful being who is always within, no matter how ‘scary’ the outer shell…

52. Such a powerful transformation Tony, it is crazy the lengths we go to protect and hide ourselves from our own amazingness. The before and after shots of you are so different it is truly beautiful to see you claim the gorgeous tender man you are and to reflect your loving choices to others every where you go.

53. “Why do we feel the need to drastically change the way we look?” A good question Tony, and as you mention it may often be because we don’t feel confident enough just as we are. Tattoos, piercings, cosmetic surgery – have all become even more commonplace these days. What if we were celebrated for us being who we truly are – without any need for ‘enhancements’? If sensitivity were honoured, would tattoos etc be so popular?

54. What a way to hide your sensitivity! It’s such an effective way that most people would have been sold on your tough guy image and had no idea of what lay beneath. How many others in society are doing that same thing?

55. This is super inspiring Tony. It’s interesting what you’ve mentioned about tattoos – As you’ve shared it is so common these days to have at least one tattoo, and if they are used as a form of protection, hardness or rebellion then a great question we need to ask is WHY we are looking to disconnect from each other and wear this armour?

56. What an amazing transformation Tony. You can feel without a doubt the far greater quality of love and appreciation you now hold for yourself, and the confidence in which you claim your tenderness and sensitivity, and express what you feel is totally inspiring. Through you being you, the man you innately are, the meaning of what a strong and tender loving man is being returned to its truth and reflected to all men to equally, that this is who they also naturally are within.

57. This was such a pleasure to read Tony. I love that you have come to a place where you have let go of trying to protect what needn’t be protected and no longer need or want to hide who you are… choosing instead to embrace the deeply loving and caring you, for everyone to enjoy with you.

58. It’s crazy how we humans fall into the trap of feeling that we need to create an image to hide behind instead of appreciating and embracing the true picture of beauty that we all naturally are ‘warts and all’.

59. How beautiful it is to see the whole you rather than the snipet from behind the mask.

60. I loved reading your story Toni. It is deeply inspiring for both men and women alike. Many hide behind something or someone and to see the magnifance of the man you are is proof positive hiding doesn’t bring us joy. It keeps one stuck, doubtful and fearful. Your steps are to be followed and embraced.

    1. “hiding doesn’t bring us joy. It keeps one stuck, doubtful and fearful.” Thank you Leigh. Life’s far more richer when we claim our sensitivity and feel the hurts rather than hide away from them. Because really the things that hurt, the words and behaviours are also stickers. Covering up otherwise deeply lovely people.

61. Beautiful Tony. I’ve met plenty of people that don’t have the beard and dreads that still have the attitude of keep out. That keep out stance never feels as tough as it feels protective and insecure. It is lovely to see your open face and to feel how strong and loving you are, and you were always this. Thank you for sharing it with the world.

62. Wow Tony, it’s like night and day, your pictures of how you are now versus how you’ve been. It’s beautiful to see and feel your warmth shining out for all to see.

63. For starters what an incredible transformation but what is even more impressive is your detailed honesty, your willingness to expose your past choices is inspirational, thanks for sharing Tony.

64. “For me a man is about being loving, tender, supportive and being able and willing to share my feelings. Those traits aren’t being weak. I now feel that they are strengths that I am choosing to embrace.” So beautiful to read this Tony. I love the gentleness of men when they don’t hide under a veneer of toughness.

65. Finding my way to hide from others took a different turn in life but I ended up in the same position isolated and rejecting friendships! I am learning this and feeling this as I write, so as this unfolds for me I can feel how being the ‘nice guy’ who wanted to be everyone’s friend actually was a way of allowing myself to not really get close to any one. So I would use drugs and alcohol to bury all my issues!

    1. That’s a great point Greg. I have often noticed people hiding by being scary and hairy but of course there are many other ways to hide such a being nice, or making jokes, being very quiet or being noisy – anything other than simply openly being who we truly are!

       1. So true Nicola, there is a full spectrum of ways to burry our true self.

       2. And for many years I would hide with a very hairy and scary beard, with a hair-style that was freaky.

    2. That is a great point you make Greg, that you can hide behind being nice, you can also do it by just not being nice and helpful.

       1. Spot on Jonathan, when we are being honest we are holding our-self in a completely different energy, and without any of the niceties that were once consider normal but with honesty we would hold decency and respect as a normal way of living.

66. When a man is able to be tender, caring, and loving and able to show his sensitivity he is actually showing how willing he is to be connected to himself, and a willingness to be open with others. It is so easy and inspiring to spend time with men like this.

67. I remember being in a cafe when a group of bikers clad in leather jackets and tattoos walked in, and I was really taken aback because they were a really pleasant group of guys, but their attire and walk had ‘stay away’ written all over them. It always reminded me to never judge a book by its cover.

68. This is an incredibly gorgeous sharing Tony and I can feel how it takes true strength to simply be who you are without adopting a tough guy persona to hide the sweetness that is so naturally there.

69. I have a feeling that many men who read this would relate deeply to what you’ve shared Tony and feel a huge weight of expectation be lifted off their shoulders, as in sharing your experience, your inspiration gives all and any man permission to allow his own sensitivity and tenderness to resurface.

70. Tony thank you for sharing with the world your love and tenderness, you are a true man through and through and the world massively needs more of these qualities.

71. “So why can we be so unhappy in our own skin that we choose to turn our skin and body into a colouring-in book by getting tattoos?” Good question Tony. Ensuring that you and everyone else focuses on the outside so that they do not choose to feel the truth of who they are on the inside.

72. It is interesting to consider that if rebellion is going against the norm and it is becoming more normal to have tatts and be shut down then it is more rebellious to not have them and to live and loving life.

73. wow Tony, I thought you looked really scary with long hair and tatts, but some people might actually find you more scary now in all your love and tenderness. Seeing such a beautiful open man can at time be quite confronting to people in a very different way.

    1. I reckon more people have been burnt at the stake for being loving and speaking the truth than for hiding. Some people react to love and truth because it exposes all that is not of that and makes us process our hurts. This together with jealousy is one of the reasons we often hide our truth and sensitivity. However, in the long run we can’t keep our love in or we implode!

74. Tony this is an incredible transformation and truly inspirational.

75. Great blog Tony. I think we can all relate to hiding in some shape or form so that we keep people out, all because we don’t realise that the very vulnerabilities that we are trying desperately to tone down and avoid letting others see for fear of getting hurt, are actually our strengths. Once we realise this, the work can begin to bring down the walls. Tony – what a role model you now are for the countless people who cross your path – well done!

76. Thank you for coming out of hiding Tony and offering out your invitation ‘to do the same’. I accept.

77. Thank you Tony for sharing your transformation with us. I have learnt a little more about why others get Tattoos! I love art but I have only viewed Tattoos as spoiling a beautiful canvas, but you say that it is a way of hiding as well for some people and this makes sense also. Thank you for being a beautiful sensitive example for others.

78. You’ve given a real insight into the psychology behind tattooing – part rebellion, part withdrawal in response to being hurt or to not being able to express our innate sensitivity. The current tattoo culture also has a large element of ‘me too’ identification and fashion about it, with people as you say not being comfortable in or with their own skin and preferring to trade it in for a multi-coloured version that provides a manufactured unique identity which itself serves to mask the unique expression that is latent within.

79. I love your honesty Tony and can feel the beautiful sensitivity and love you are. Your blog has allowed me to connect to my own amazingness and how in the past I too found ways of hiding and avoiding unwanted attention. We are powerful and can use this power to shut down or to open up and live the love we truly are. Thank you for bringing the truth to others through your blog and for allowing us in – it is life changing.

80. Love the inspiration in your blog and invitation to rediscover our beauty Tony. The honesty with which you describe your attempts to cover up the deeply tender and loving man you are and the transformation as you peeled off the layers and returned to yourself is truly remarkable. Thank you for sharing.

81. Wow, great blog Tony. I love your photos, you look amazing. Thank you for sharing your story, it will inspire a lot of men to break down the image of being tough and hard as it only pushes people away. Tenderness and gentleness is in fact who we all are and to hide this we are hurting ourselves and people around us. Now, the world gets to experience the amazing you Tony. Pretty awesome to step away from the tough and hard image and shine the real you.

82. ‘….why can we be so unhappy in our own skin that we choose to turn our skin and body into a colouring-in book by getting tattoos?’ I hadn’t actually thought of it this way Tony but with all the pictures and images I am seeing on the bodies of so many people around me it’s a great question for us all to ponder on and resolve.

83. Setting the standard for all likened men Tony. Inspirational.

84. Wow your before and after photos Tony are truly amazing – you are a living miracle and show what is possible when we let go of our hurts and live the love we naturally are.

85. Such a difference Tony – the pictures and your words tell the same story… so unapproachable and scary when you were looking to protect yourself (practically a Halloween costume!), to someone who now looks approachable, and writes with love. You’ve so obviously opened up, and its gorgeous.

86. An amazing transition Tony the photos say it all

87. What a transformation Tony! You are amazing. Reading your before and after blog just makes me wonder how many people out there in our society are hiding their true, sensitive and divine selves behind their tattoos, behaviours and tough person exteriors? How many people have created an image that basically says ‘keep out’ when in truth it is the exact opposite of what they truly want in their lives and an image that is the total opposite to their true gentle and tender selves.

88. There are so many ways in which we have protected and shielded our true sensitivity and delicateness and I loved reading about yours Toni as it gives all of us an insight and reminder of the fact that we are all the same inside and how healing it is to meet each other on that level instead of on the level of our hurts and protections.

89. This is an amazing transformation. “For me a man is about being loving, tender, supportive and being able and willing to share my feelings. Those traits aren’t being weak. I now feel that they are strengths that I am choosing to embrace” – beautifully said.

90. I loved reading this, its beautiful to feel how we always have had this beautiful soul within us, but when we can’t handle it the choices we make are not always beneficial. It is great to see you returned to the beautiful open man you are.

91. What an absolutely beauty-full you you’ve chosen to be Tony. What a celebration, a gift you’re sharing with everyone every day, gracing everyone you meet with your big, bright light.

92. Wow, what a transformation, Tony! Truly inspirational. Your love and beauty was well hidden in your before pics, but sure shine through in your ‘afters’. Amazing to share with the world, thank you.

93. Thank you Tony for your very honest blog. It was great to read it again. I did not ever do the tattoos but I did go through a phase of long hair and beard accompanied by doing the traveller thing around the world. I can relate to your comment about thinking I was rebelling against the world as I knew it, but little did I know that I was actually travelling a well worn path of hiding and avoiding facing up to my issues which many others were doing the same thing or had done the same thing for centuries before me. In some ways it actually took me further away from who I really was because when we have an image that works, we tend to cling to it even though we know it is not really us or true.

94. There is true joy in in this blog, it is lovely to share in – thank you. “I have rediscovered how beautiful I am and I invite you to do the same.” What an invite, to see you speak from your lived experience of finding your own beauty within as a man, who would not want to do the same…

95. Love this blog Tony. “For me a man is about being loving, tender, supportive and being able and willing to share my feelings. Those traits aren’t being weak. I now feel that they are strengths that I am choosing to embrace”. The before and after photos say so much, at 27 you look fine but your eyes appear like there is nobody home, but Wow! the after Universal Medicine photo at the age of 35 the joy expressed and shining through your face is so very beautiful. “I am honest and loving and I have re-discovered how beautiful I am” and that shows in your after photo.

96. A powerful and beautiful transformation Tony. You have talked about the dreadlocks and Tattoo’s and the protective barrier they allowed to stop people from getting in, I can also feel how they stopped you from getting out. Lack of confidence can be difficult to overcome under any circumstances but to deal with this plus the fact that people could literally cross the road rather than be met by you means you have created your prison in which you were trapped. The most powerful difference in your transformation for me is in your eyes. They speak clearly of the love and openness your transformation has inspired. Thanks for your very honest, sensitive and tender blog.

97. Wow Tony the transformation you have gone through with the support of Universal Medicine is amazing and deeply inspiring. You have stopped hiding your beauty and sensitivity and you shine your light very brightly now – thank you for sharing.

    1. And shine he does, and I am the lucky woman who gets to be his wife. Our relationship has given me the ability to see the potential we have when in relationship with each other, and it is both magical and beautiful everyday. Our relationships have the capability to expand on this beauty every day. Imagine how grand relationships could be if we all related to each other in a way that made this possible.

       1. Beautiful Toni and I agree, all of our relationships have the potential to be blessed with the magic of an ever deepening expansion of this beauty when we open ourselves to it. I cannot but wonder if we all related to each other openly like this how different today’s world would be.

98. Tony, your beauty shines now. It is not just in your haircut and shave, but your gentle beauty is felt in your eyes.. a testament to the changes you have made in your life.

99. What an inspiring transformation Tony, which clearly shows the power of healing our hurts and returning to being who we naturally are.

100. Today I realized how meeting so many people form all walks of life with all kinds of protection systems and coping skills – and then seeing them unfold, open up and blossom into their true selves, their sensitivity and their tenderness,- has brought me an immense understanding of humanity. Reading your blog I was reminded of this and how whenever I now will encounter a bearded, dreadlocked man, with tattoos and a mean look I will be thinking of you Tony, and the gorgeous man you are and were trying to hide. It will make it so much easier to see and meet the true person behind the protection. Awesome.

     1. That’s Beautiful what you have shared Carolien. How you have been inspired by Tony’s coming back to himself, supports me in how I too can have an understanding for people that come from different walks of life than me. This is a great support for me in accepting and letting people in, Thank you.

     2. Great point Carolien and very inspirational to bring deeper understanding to everybody who is protecting their sensitivity and tenderness behind toughness.

101. That was beautiful to read Tony. I too am finding that the more I connect to myself and who I really am the behaviours and fronts I put on to hide myself actually require more effort and cause more harm and hurt than just being me who has a very clear knowing of who she is/I am. Distracting myself in dramas that I create or emotions (Such as the angry person barge pole) to hide in is far more pain-full than just being me.

102. A beautiful blog Tony and an inspiration to other men to embrace their natural tenderness and fragility, and to not hide behind the tough image expected by society.

103. Enjoying people person Toni you are a hit. You are so inspiring and such a brilliant role model – wunderbar.

104. Thank you for the invite Tony, would be lovely to get to know you. Great you have come out from the dreads and beard to reveal the real and loving you.

105. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this Tony…isnt it interesting all the layers of protection we can create in an attempt to hide away. We think no-one can see us, and yet we are so clearly seen by others – we are only hiding from ourselves.

     1. The layers of protection are indeed interesting and varied. Tattoos a decade or two ago may have seemed a more obvious form of protection and keeping people out, but now they are so common and have become so normalised, that although it might ‘seem’ that their intent is different (ie as an art form etc) does it perhaps instead expose exactly how much of society is still seeking this protection….

        1. Yes the tattoos have become common, but that does not make it any less revealing that they are there to hide who we truly are, to take our attention away from the real us that is waiting patiently behind them. To protect us…. from what? The world we think is out to get us, or from connecting to who we truly are and how gorgeous others are as well.

     2. I love what you have said here Paula. The hiding away we are doing, in whatever form, is only ever from ourselves. The layers of protection we build only serve to harm us not to save us, and as a result the world gets such a lesser version of the amazing being that we truly are.

        1. And the layers of protection only serve to keep love from being expressed outwardly and love being felt and accepted from others outside of ourselves. It’s crazy we have formed coping mechanisms that achieve the complete opposite from that which we are aiming to achieve.

106. What a declaration of love, Tony you are an inspiration! I accept your invitation, thank you.

107. If healing your hurts and emotional issues has led to living as you now do, I would say it is definitely wise to not hold on to any emotional hurt or pain, especially not for a lifetime!

108. Great to read Tony, “being a man isn’t about being tough”. Simple, straight forward and true. There is no greater testimony to this than someone who has lived it like you have and turned it around. There are also many ways to act or be tough, as I found out as a footballer. It was only when I stopped that I felt how horrible it was for my body and only once the hardness cleared away through healing sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners did I really feel how being tender and sensitive had great power in it as a man.

109. This is wonderful Tony, a real celebration of the choices you have made to live as the true and beautiful man you are. Thank you for sharing your lived experience.

110. Thank you so much for sharing your journey so honestly, I’ve loved reading about your reasons behind the tatts, dreads and beard. Beautiful to see and feel the true you now Tony, awesome that you have stopped hiding and are now sharing yourself with others – truly inspirational.

111. Absolutely astonishing transformation, and not just on the outer. It feels like your inner reclaiming came first and then the outer appearance followed suit to reflect your self-worth and the appreciation of traits that you had previously thought were not manly enough: your caring and very tender and loving nature. You look and feel great.

112. Tony! I am officially melting into my chair. Thank you for this invitation, it is a very inspiring and beautiful thing to hear a man say words like I am honest and loving and beautiful. Yes you are.

     1. It is sad that many men feel they cannot express in this way, in the building industry and other “manly” jobs the fear of ridicule is a big one but what I have noticed is it only takes one person to start expressing in such a way that then allows the others the freedom to do so.

113. This is an awesome blog Tony – it is beautiful to read how you have changed from using your appearance to keep people away, to instead let them see how awesome you actually are, and have been all along on the inside

     1. It is easy to see now that appearances and behaviours that don’t necessarily appeal to us are simply an individuals way of dulling the grandness that is within. I now know that I have carried this all along but if I had of been presented with a statement like that I would have scoffed at even the thought of it because my self worth was so low.

114. You are just gorgeous Tony. It is so beautiful that you have embraced your inner qualities and their true strength and have decided to let the world see the real you and the loving and tender man you truly are.

115. Tony, there is such beauty in your eyes, thank you for sharing your striking ‘before and after’ photos, and such loveliness too. You’re story and you are a great role model.

116. First time reading your blog Tony. I also have a tattoo. Even writing the word down now is strange for me. When I got it , I was 45 years old. Not something I am proud of and in hindsight I really see how lost I was thinking it would give me anything. So lost I willingly ‘mutilated’ my body and suffered(it was painful)!
     Wonderful to see your transformation and your inviation to other men to show who they really are.

117. What a celebration of a blog sharing. I loved revisiting this gorgeous transformation. I also love that you offer it back as an invitation: ‘I have re-discovered how beautiful I am and I invite you to do the same.’

118. Having met the beautiful and tender man you are today Tony it was eye opening to read just what you were prepared to do to yourself to hide. Eye opening as everyone has met scary looking men with tattoos, or called them men with ‘tough stickers’. So how terrible is it that many men, most likely for very similar reasons to yours, feel like they need tough stickers to protect their exquisite tenderness and sensitivity? On the other hand, how wonderful for the world to be blessed by you today, a man standing in his true beauty and true strength.

     1. Being tattooed was an acceptance in a way, an acceptance into living a life that allowed me not to live who I naturally was.

119. Tony, what a fabulous blog, I love how you unashamedly state the beauty of you. What an amazing transformation. Thank you.

120. This is a truly beautiful blog Tony. Amazing how much you invested in your look to make sure no one would even fathom who you are. Yet the most amazing thing is that you have realised what game you were playing and put a stop to it to start sharing your beauty with the world.

121. What an amazing transformation – thank you for sharing the truth behind your former looks.

122. What a transformation! I put up a similar image to protect my hurts and to distance myself from people. It was as if I rejected myself first, or created an image that was not so socially acceptable, then when I was rejected I could hide behind that. It is interesting when we look back that we can feel the sensitivity we always held but at the time weren’t able to acknowledge.

123. Tony when I read your article I got such a strong sense of you filling up on the inside and then when the inside was full I imagined the beard and dreads sort of falling off the outside. It felt like a speeded up nature film.

     1. I love it Alexis – it gives me the image of cave man -> superman! Quite an awesome transformation from Tony – thank you heaps for sharing your beauty with us all Tony.

        1. What is glorious now Tony is you are the complete opposite and a true inspiration of how loving and tender we can be as men.

124. Beautiful blog Tony. The difference in your photos is quite startling with the latest one showing you so much more at ease with yourself. It’s great that you no longer feel the need to hide behind your hair and that you can show the world the gentle, tender and amazing man that you are.

125. I relate to what you say here – and for the record, you look much more a real man now than you ever did with dreads!!

126. Beautifully honest and touching. Thank you for sharing your powerful claiming of who you truly are. Gorgeous to feel.

127. I really enjoyed reading this article and seeing the hurting boy hiding behind his dreadlocks, beard and tatts emerging to stand tall as the gentle and tender man open to all.

128. What a gorgeous account of gorgeousness rediscovering itself! I love the strength in your vulnerability, the self-trust you have developed in your own tender, loving heart. Every time we meet, your eyes are sparkling and when you write about what it now means to be a man, you clearly live it. Thank you for being the natural wonder you are!

129. The lightness in your eyes now compared to the before photograph is so great to see as I can tell that you are very at ease with yourself. I never considered that we adopt images/looks so that we can hide or so that others can’t get close to us. This is a really great sharing that I will take some time to reflect on. I used to have my nose pierced and did this two or three times. Having read your blog I can tell that the piercing was my marker of looking cool. Something I chose to wear to let the world know and convince myself that I was OK. I certainly was not comfortable in my own skin then. However I have been having esoteric healing sessions (healing modalities taught by Universal Medicine) for the last 6 years and have had no desire in that time to pierce any part of my body as the focus is now on living more lovingly and harmoniously with myself and others, rather than how I can look cool.

     1. I can totally relate to this Shevon. I had my nose pierced and my ears stretched at one point. They were there to show I was alternative and that I was cool. I didn’t feel comfortable within myself nor was I at all loving with myself and these external markers were there to give me some kind of confirmation to who I wanted to be.

130. Very true Jane, I find this article very inspiring.

131. Tony, You are so beautiful.

     I woke up this morning feeling some of my “old life” and literally realized that I WAS IN DISGUISE all through high school (I wore grungy-gas-station-boy clothes) because my self esteem was so low, I felt totally unable to shine/be myself and didn’t want anyone to recognize me that way…then the first blog I find is yours, about hiding yourself!

     It is so clear that you were hiding before as I feel I can’t even find you in the first photo.

     I love seeing how much your eyes sparkle in your recent picture and I feel this beggining to happen in me too. A Huge Harray!

     1. How beautiful to read Jo. There may be another blog in the making…!
        And knowing Tony, yes, boy do his eyes shine – every time I see him.

     2. Brilliant Jo, it is absolutely gorgeous to look someone in their eyes and see them sparkle. The light and spark they carry is a blessing to everyone.

132. Thank you Tony for sharing you, and how you have turned your life completely around. It is lovely that you included some photographs for us to see visually the amazing transformation that has taken place within you.

133. Pingback: Choices, I’ve Made A Few… Shockers! « The Truth about Serge Benhayon

134. Amazing Tony – YOU are amazing. To look in those eyes now – it’s an absolute ‘no brainer’ that this is the true you, a beautiful, compassionate man. Celebrating with you, that there is now no need to hide – You are there, in your smile, your depth of connections with people… And how truly blessed we all are.

135. Tony you are a truly beautiful, tender, loving man married to an equally beautiful, gorgeous, loving woman – Tony and Toni, we are all blessed to have you in our lives.

136. Amazing blog Tony, thank you for sharing! I had to keep looking back and forward at your before and after shots… I’m so amazed! Look at you in all your glory there on the grass, just beautiful!!! Love it!

     Your sentence “So why can we be so unhappy in our own skin that we choose to turn our skin and body into a colouring-in book by getting tattoos?”, really exposed for me the hiding behind the tattoo; the attempt at disguising one’s true self. I was aware of the various fronts people put up with their tattoos, but I really felt the depth of it with that sentence…

     Again, thanks, Tony!

     1. Yes Janene I found that sentence really revealing about the depth of hiding behind tattoos and this coupled with the increasing prevalence of them it is no wonder that there are so many who are lost to themselves and the rest of humanity. Tony’s blog offers a beacon of light in the darkness demonstrating that there is always a way to return to ourselves if we choose.

137. Like. Like. Like. Like your blog. Like your before and after pictures. Like YOU.

138. I love your honesty and how you are not afraid to be a man and show how sensitive you are these days.

139. Tony, I really enjoyed reading your blog! How great it is that you have shared your experiences, and your story is very touching. What a great role model you are for boys and teenagers as they grow up to be men.

140. Hi Tony, wow what a difference – and you letting yourself feel and heal all of that that is very inspiring. I was also really touched when I read “to stop people from seeing my true beauty that I didn’t even know existed” because I don’t feel I have ever heard or read a man saying that about himself – ‘my true beauty’ – let alone coming from a place that feels completely true as it is with you, and that felt really lovely to read. Thank you for sharing,

141. Awesome Tony, you are a beauty-full man. Thank you for sharing your unfolding with us. A familiar story for many I would guess but one that not all would see or admit to if questioned. I love your honesty about wanting to hide behind the tattoos and hair. I have to say I could almost smell it too from the photo above so I could see that it maybe would push others away. It’s great how you have opened up and embraced the amazingness and beauty of you. A true inspiration for many.

142. I just love this blog, Tony. You feel so tender and loving and strong. What a powerful reflection for other men and boys, and women! Thank you for your amazing expression.

143. Tony, what a beautiful presentation. “Why do we hide? What are we hiding from?” are some questions that you clearly answered for most of us in “A lot of my wanting to hide was from my lack of confidence within myself”. A lovely play-full image “why can we be so unhappy in our own skin that we choose to turn our skin and body into a colouring-in book?”.

144. Tony, how courageous and wonderful that you made the decision to open your heart and let us all in… your blog has the potential to inspire so many, men and women, of all ages… I would love to shout it from the roof tops and then some! Thank you.

     The inspiration, presentations and workshops of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine coupled with the dedication and consistency of our own healing journeys have indeed been life-changing. A reflection to all that truth, love, joy and harmony are simply a matter of choice and life-style. Heart-felt thanks to ‘The Way of the Livingness’. ❤

145. I was reading and suddenly came upon the photo of you standing on the grass – before I knew it, I had said out loud “Oh, you are beautiful!”… Thank you for for sharing your story. It will indeed inspire many and not just men… Your unfold-ment back to the glorious person that you are has been a joy to watch and how awesome that you have not just claimed that but embodied it.

146. They say a picture tells a thousand words. In your case Tony, your pictures tell us much more and breaks down the belief that men have to be tough to survive. I love the way you have shown us what strength in a man is really about.

     I have found that by changing my stance so I don’t have to ‘prove’ myself as a man, then I have less pressure in my life to be something that I am not. And thank you for the invite in your last line… count me in!

     1. Thank you Rod. I agree- allowing the acceptance that we are enough and don’t need to prove takes the pressure off being something we are not. I too love Tony’s invitation at the end and am all in 🙂

147. Thank you Tony for putting your ‘true self’ out there – a wonderful role model for us all as we peel back the ‘stickers’ that we have all covered ourselves with not to be truly seen.

148. You are the most amazingly tender man Tony and I am blessed to be your wife… even your tatts and beard could not hide your true beauty from me. But now your beauty has deepened and everyone gets to feel the amazing man you are. Thank you for shining the true you, it is an inspiration and gift to us all.

     1. I love that Toni – that even his tatts and beards couldn’t hide his beauty from you. No matter what we try to bury ourselves in, our tenderness, beauty and love are always there. It can be hard to see, but it’s still there.

        1. It is hard to see at times Nikki, but I have found this only to be the case when I hold someone at arms length. In my life I have got to meet a huge variety of people and the one thing I realised long ago was when I sit and talk to someone, one on one, there is a tenderness and beauty about them that otherwise may be hidden by the way they put themselves across. I once got to meet a man that was recently released from prison, had spent all his 44 years in prison except for 12 years here and there. He was a sweet caring man that cared much for his fellow man, even though his actions, at times, displayed the complete opposite of this. This blew me away at the time!

        2. Nikki I love that you say this. It’s so true. Sometimes I find it tricky to spot the tenderness and beauty sometimes but that’s more a reflection of me not seeing that in myself. I’ve found it so inspiring seeing people like Tony show their tenderness, sensitivity and beauty.

           Without people shinning like this I suspect I’d have continued thinking people were inextricably linked to the camouflage they hide themselves in. Tony and other Universal Medicine students have shown me, right before my eyes, that we are all amazing because I’ve seen them make choices where they no longer choose to sling mud on themselves and are shinning bright.

        3. I love what you’ve all shared here, how no matter how hard we try, the light is always there underneath ready and waiting to shine. And everyone has it, some more hidden than others but it’s always there. Tony, such an awesome blog and to see you shining is such a treat, thank you for sharing.

        4. So true Nikki, no matter how hard we try to hide our beauty, our tenderness and love it still comes through because this is who we are. We can just feel it and some people are more willing to look beneath the surface to find the God within. If we look past the facade of people we will see that we are all the same.

        5. This applies equally to ourselves as it does to others. I am currently overseas where I have had food that I do not usually have and I am out of rhythm. My body has not been feeling that great. It was easy for me to slip into not feeling good. I reminded myself that my light was not affected underneath what may have been presenting in the body. God is within me no matter what.

     2. Beautifully expressed Toni – this blog is so gorgeous and inspiring to read. Tony, the photos leave no doubt as to the depth of love, sensitivity and amazingness that you bring to the world, not hiding behind tattoos and beard!

149. Wow, what a beautiful transformation from where you had been… Totally inspirational. Thank you Tony.

150. Wow – the tender love in your eyes is BEAUTIFUL – it sure took an enormous effort to hide that. Thank you Tony for the grace of your sharing…

     1. I agree Helen, Tony’s before and after photos show a totally inspirational transformation that can be clearly seen in his whole body but mostly in the love and sparkle that has come back into his eyes and shows us all what can happen when we start to nourish and take care of ourselves.

     2. It is funny how we can go to so much effort to hide the beauty that we are. Once we accept who we are then we more willing to share our beauty.

151. Woohoo Toni… How awesome for the world that you are now standing as the fully claimed, loving and beautiful man that you are. I loved the images that are there to support your beautiful sharing. Pics don’t lie!

152. Beautiful Tony, it is such a joyous and stunning moment when we realise that the very things we had always considered as weaknesses are in fact our strengths, our divine and beautiful gifts to the world – and what a gift you are! Thank you for unearthing your true self and sharing it with us all. Your joy, love and fun is clearly there to be seen in your eyes and your smile – great post and very inspiring, especially as you look 10 years younger rather than 9 years older!

153. How beautiful you are, Tony. It is so beautiful to read you claiming yourself and claiming what in truth we men are – tender, caring, loving and beautiful as we are without our lifestyle identifications. Thank you for expressing our Truth.

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