I have been looking at how I self-care for a number of years now, thanks to my involvement with Universal Medicine. I have progressed through some major milestones: from not knowing what self-care really was, to beginning to care for myself a little more, to incorporating self-care routines and rituals into my daily life, to now understanding and accepting that self nurturing is deeper than taking care of my physical body – the care and nurturing of my physical body supports the connection I have with my soul.
In relation to the fact that I am a woman, I have come to recognise that I can mechanically go through the motion of caring and nurturing myself, but have I stopped to accept and appreciate that this care and nurturing allows me to feel a truer beauty as a woman – for me to feel my soul’s expression through my female body?
In deepening my self-nurturing as a true woman, allowing my soul to express through this body, I have stopped to consider who I am. Not who I am based on what others are doing, being or expressing but who I truly am…
So… who am I?
How would I describe myself, and how is my femininity unique to me?
A couple of people have described me in recent months as sweet. This was not a word that I could relate to but I decided to be open to the possibility that I was sweet. When I looked in the mirror, when I moved my body around or when I spoke I was not getting the sweet thing. I felt awkward at times, tough, hard, and strong, and I would go into comparison with other women. All very different to sweet!
When I heard the word sweet I was also hearing words like delicate, tender and precious. Apparently I was all of these things as well. I would have described myself as strong, athletic, independent, hard etc., making it very difficult initially for me to be able to connect to words like sweet, let alone actually surrender my body to feeling them.
I remained open to the word sweet because I wanted to be able to answer my own question – how would I describe myself?
During this period of time I happened to video myself for something I was involved in and then watched it. In watching this recording I saw how gentle and delicate I am when I move; I could hear a sweetness in my voice and I had a realisation that I was precious. While watching this movie I cried as I was not at all what I thought I was or how I had made myself out to be. The tears also allowed me to connect to a fragility within that was in no way weak or made me feel less than anyone else. I was observing how I express as a woman and there is no way that this can be compared to anyone else.
I watched this video a number of times… I now observe myself more closely in the mirror or when I move or speak and if I doubt that I am sweet and very gentle I look directly into my eyes because they reveal to me my true qualities, my soulful qualities.
I am learning to surrender myself to these newfound qualities and to express them. In connecting to my fragility, gentleness, sweetness, tenderness and delicateness, I can very clearly feel that I am ALL woman. A beautiful, joyful and sweet woman. I can also feel that the self-nurturing and caring ways I have introduced into my life have made a difference and have allowed my self-nurturing to go to a whole new level.
By Sally Scott, Perth WA