Looking in a Mirror – Enjoying a True Reflection

Have you ever stopped – looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection – or is it just a glance to make sure your make-up or hair is ok?

I remember one day being asked just that; “do you look at yourself in the mirror, or is it just a glance?” Of course, I thought, I always look in the mirror ­– or did I?

Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me – I was looking at a mere shadow of myself which was then presented to the world.

It was time to start looking past the facade that I had created to protect and hide myself from the world; to allow myself to see the true me. It was an awkward and at times uncomfortable process – making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.

Funny really, as I worked as a hairdresser so I was in front of mirrors all day every day, and yet it was easy to avoid looking at myself, making it all about the client.

There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw, I would instead choose to make every glance about something else. For example, when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.

So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.

Before long I was beginning to see the true essence of me coming through – the facade was beginning to drop away and I was no longer afraid of how I presented to the world.

I began to dress for me, not the world or the mirror; my make-up was applied to my face in a way that supported the natural glow that was now emanating.

As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.

I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world – I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.

I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.

Over time, with this nurturing I have blossomed and continue to blossom every day with more and more acceptance for myself.

It was this simple question from Serge Benhayon about the way I looked at myself in a mirror – or not ­­– many, many years before, that began my process of self-acceptance; a process that has been nothing short of a true transformation. No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.

I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.

With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 42,Tintenbar, Australia

559 thoughts on “Looking in a Mirror – Enjoying a True Reflection

  1. Nicole, this is such a gem and a great question, ‘how do we look in the mirror’ – reading it I could feel a discomfort as I realised that what I don’t like seeing when I look in the mirror is how it can show me how I’m not being me, how that hurts, that’s such a great reflection to understand, that we can hurt ourselves more than the world can by just not being us.

  2. I have started to truly see, A women who is looking back at me, With a smile full of divine grace
    and a walk of power and strength in pace.
    Nicole I love your blog and it makes me feel like the process that I am starting to go through with the mirror and looking at my own reflection, is something you have already experienced. I am starting to also see this amazing women looking back at me and I am amazed at how I haven’t seen this in the mirror before.

  3. To see the difference in the way I hold my body and even hold the muscles in my face when I am affected, distracted, worried or stuck in a mental process is quite a shock because I can look like a completely different person; a distinct and dramatically different reflection than when I am present and with myself. I also can detect this difference in others as well. Seeing this, I have no doubt that there are two options to choose from and that the choice is to be with yourself or against yourself.

  4. I have noticed in myself too the fact that I can look into a mirror and not even connect with my eyes, just glazing over how I might look in the sense of how I have dressed and if anything is out of place (hair, makeup, clothes…). But when I do bring in the direct look in my eyes, it is like I am checking to see how I am, really asking myself how I am feeling. And at this point I cannot as easily glaze over, but get to really look and see me. It is the difference between looking and not seeing OR looking and meeting myself – one is cold the other is warm; one is functional, the other is supporting and allowing. It makes a huge difference to how I then am after the mirror encounter too and how much I appreciate me. The scary thing is that this is often what we carry out into the world too – how much do we just glaze over the person who we have just encountered? Or do we really look them in the eyes and take it all in? Thanks Nicole for bringing up this ‘reflection’.

  5. Nicole, I just love the way you have used a childs innocent and natural adoration of themselves as an example of how we need to see ourselves – that it is a re-connection to what we already are and already know. Children know they are precious.

    1. Yes this stopped me in my tracks too, Eva. Firstly because I work with children and often see this sweet, deep acceptance of their preciousness. I also most potently remember a time when this was my totally natural expression and care of myself. And although I learnt early on that out in the world this was perceived as vanity, it is exquisite to return to it, knowing its naturalness and knowing that so far from vanity it is true self care, a quality so deeply essential and critically part of our responsibility as we go about our daily lives.

      1. Just reading the word ’vanity’ in your comment Matilda, made me realise what a strong hold this has had on me – it feels like there has been a lot of shame related to adoring and looking at myself from an early age.

  6. Nicole, thank you for your sharing; it is very revealing and gives me quite a bit to ponder on. I have come a long way too, from avoiding mirrors or, like you, not being comfortable with anybody seeing me, or looking at myself. But there is still more of myself to let out, and to lovingly accept. Very inspiring Nicole.

  7. These words inspire me to take a deeper and closer look in the mirror next time, “just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
    I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.
    With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.”

  8. Thank you Nicole for your insightful blog. To be able to look into my own eyes in a mirror and appreciate my own beauty is a major break through for me and it is Universal Medicine I have to thank as through sessions, presentations and workshops I have been inspired to reconnect with myself on such a deep level that I now know this beauty to be my very essence.

    1. This is beautiful Kathleen, I love feeling a woman celebrating herself. My heart always wants to join in on that party!

      1. You are more than welcome to join me Melinda all that is required is the celebration of yourself as the beautiful woman you are if you are not already doing this. And if you are you have already joined the party!

  9. I can feel the joy you now experience of living a true and loving relationship with yourself. Fantastic! Recently i’ve began this process – just before I go to bed I have been stopping and looking at myself in the mirror and see myself glowing back, it’s like I’ve just noticed that I am there and I stop and say, ‘you are absolutely gorgeous.’ To build on this is such a joyful, playful and life changing experience. Thank you indeed to Serge Benhayon.

  10. The time in the morning putting my makeup on is very valuable as when I am looking in the mirror, my response indicates to me how I am. If I love what I feel is being reflected back to me I know I am connected. If I feel ugly then I know I am not with myself and need to get back to me.

    1. I love both of your comments above, marylouisemyers, thank you. Appreciating transformative moments when we can ‘strut our stuff’ in full acceptance and celebration of ourselves and our bodies AND taking responsibility for what we are being shown in how we perceive ourselves in any given moment: with love or disdain. My work with Universal Medicine has meant that I am open to taking the responsibility of this awareness at the same time as knowing what to do when my feedback to me is judgmental and critical (simply stop and afford myself the grace to come back to the quiet within that holds me and my true, exquisite nature).

    2. My mirror always shows me where I am with myself based on my response to my reflection. I have so much to show myself when I really look at me in the mirror. This simple act reveals so much and by just connecting to myself with my eyes I can really feel what is truly going on for me and make my way back to adoring myself again. It’s confronting at times, but taking time to connect deeply to me in the mirror is really lovely, revealing, and so supportive. I also see so much that is truly beautiful about me and I can pause, savour that moment and appreciate me in a whole new way. I must get more mirrors! They are tools of healing and of celebration. 🙂

  11. I can so relate to your blog Nicole, It reminded me of a time I went bra and under pant shopping. I tried on a matching green set, when I looked in the mirror I really took in my whole being and body. I felt and saw how beautiful and delicate I am. I was so blown away by myself that I strutted my stuff in front of the mirror for a while deeply admiring and appreciating me. This moment changed my relationship with myself and my body.

  12. Although I have always had a problem with looking at myself because of my very ingrained self rejection, I have noticed with great joy, that now there are times I surprise myself by appreciating myself in the mirror. The other day I was busy at home and passed by the mirror, and it started like a glance, but then I stopped, as I really appreciated the depth and shine of my eyes, and it was not a particularly easy or joyful day at all, I had had quite a shaking, but still I loved the reflection in the mirror, I could still feel the beauty.

  13. A mirror reflects how we have been living, and I can see the choices I have made when I see my reflection in the mirror. Its so amazing. Sometimes I am struck at just how gorgeous and amazing I look (and feel) and sometimes I am purely stunned at how ‘not me’ I look. When I feel amazing I most certainly look it too.

    1. This is so true Harry, that what we are seeing in the mirror is a reflection of the choices we have made. Though I am an older person, I can look amazingly young on a day when I am connected to me and feeling joyful and flowing.

    2. The ‘mirror never lies’ as they say and it does indeed reflect everything we have been living up till that point in time. The crucial thing is how open we are to that reflection and how much we re-interpret what we are being shown.

  14. Children have this natural curiosity with themselves when they look in the mirror at their reflection. They don’t look around to see who is watching, they just naturally allow their own gorgeous expression to come through. Being around children can tend to bring that playful, expressive part, out of you.

  15. ‘I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt’ ….. so true.
    I have also started really looking at myself in the mirror and I love seeing the sparkle in my eyes, they have changed so much over the last few years, since I’ve been making more loving choices. If I notice a change, a drop in the glow in my face, I know it’s due to the choices I’ve been making. Rather than go into judgment and self loathing, I am starting to look at what I’ve been doing that’s led to this change in my rhythm and support myself, with love, to get back on track.

  16. “With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me..” This is beautiful Nicole. Only last week we were asked – during a presentation – how many times we looked in a mirror a day. I replied twice. On re-reading your blog I realise how I have still become stuck in my old belief systems about myself. Last week’s question and re – reading your blog today has shifted the pattern I was still carrying around unnecessarily. Today I shall stop and look in the mirror more than twice – and see the true me – shining and beautiful, reflecting this out to all.

  17. I can relate to everything you share Nicole, in the past when I looked in a mirror, I got a real sense of not liking what was reflecting back at me, so it was easy to just look at the clothes I was trying on, than face the truth of the reflection. Four years on, now when I look in the mirror, I am no longer afraid to look at me, and am always drawn to my eyes and see the light that now shines there.

  18. There is a mirror in my bathroom, in my bedroom, in my hallway, there are plenty of mirrors in my house but how often do I take a truly intimate moment with myself in the mirror? I do a precursory glance noting perhaps something, and sometimes even liking what I see but, from your blog, I am feeling to take a little more time to stop and connect with myself as I am faced with the opportunity to truly see myself in more depth without judgement or criticism and to play, as a child, in freedom and innocence.

  19. I love how you shared that children look in the mirror totally adoring themselves and it is true! I am starting to do this with myself more and more too as I am accepting more of how beautiful I truly am.

    1. I love being reminded of this too, as children seem to be amazed by their own reflection. It’s like they cannot get enough of it.

  20. Looking into my eyes in the mirror is confirming of myself, I cannot deny the joyful light from deep within. Once I’ve checked with my eyes then the other details of my face, like the signs of aging, are not the focus, just part of me, and totally okay.

  21. Thank you for sharing your process Nicole “So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” Simply beautiful and beautifully simple.

  22. I can relate Nicole to looking in the mirror and admiring the clothes, but not really looking beyond to truly see me and appreciate me. I felt the stigma that can often be associated with looking at oneself in the mirror as being vain and although as a little girl I loved adoring myself by looking in the mirror, I always felt guilty about this, thinking that something was wrong with me and I was vain. In hindsight, I wasn’t really vain, I was just enjoying the amazingness of what I saw, that is me. It has taken some time to come back to really allowing myself to enjoy looking at myself in the mirror and feeling that it is more than OK to adore the beauty of the woman that I see looking back at me.

  23. And a double ouch when reading “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” This really nails the truth of it.

  24. Ouch Nicole! When I read your example “when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.” I realised that’s exactly what I do and am still doing that! Thank you so much for bringing my awareness to this – it’s a big one!

  25. This can be quite a confronting blog – simply stating “This is the truth, this is how I do it” and the reader can make their own choice whether to accept this truth. The blog doesn’t bridge or make excuses, it simply is.

  26. I have always avoided looking at myself in a mirror; I even built a house with no mirrors. If I saw a photo of myself I was always surprised. “Is that what I look like?” A couple of years ago I was challenged to look at myself in the mirror and found I was looking back at myself with suspicion, trepidation, and cold seriousness. This is what I am presenting to the world no wonder people treat me at a distance. I did not want to see the truth of how I was feeling written all over my face; I also did not want to take responsibility for how I looked to the world. Looking back it was rather silly. Now I appreciate the honesty of my reflection. Thank you Nicole.

    1. Isn’t it very curious that we are often surprised at our own reflection in the mirror? And yet it is ourselves who we live with every day that we are seeing in the mirror and so why would it seem like such a stranger? Perhaps this has to do with how honest we are or how aware we are choosing to be about how we are feeling every day?

  27. It’s such an eye opener to see we start as little kids fascinated by our reflection, to avoiding even looking in the mirror apart from a body scan to check overall we are in order. Where do we fall out of Love with our reflection? It’s the face the world sees , so we are only hiding our reflection from ourselves, we are our own worst enemy at self criticism and judgment. Bringing myself back to Loving my true reflection, appreciating my essence to reveal the woman I am and having a fun relationship with me and let the world see me shine… No more hiding!

  28. What an inspiration you are Nicole! I will re read this blog again and again. You offer something so practical and real to the world and inspire me to appreciate how much the world needs the likes of you, me and all of us to reconnect to our true expressions of the love we are. Keep writing!

  29. Thank you for sharing Nicole. It’s great you have brought this to the attention of so many. Often my mirror looking is about what I’m wearing or just to make sure I look okay. I kinda miss looking in the mirror and just adoring me. For me, it says that I, as a being, actually matter too, not just what I look like. I remember I use to do it as a kid and only recently experienced my niece doing the same. It’s really beautiful to see.

  30. ‘With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and look in a mirror, and see a true reflection of glorious me.’ Yes absolutely true Nicole, I love looking at my reflection in the mirror when the real me is shining through.

  31. I love watching children check themselves out in the mirror! They really stare at themselves, fascinated at what shines back. They have no comparison issues or judgement issues coming up; what they are looking at is what they are feeling inside.
    In vast contrast, the many hours I’ve spent in front of mirrors has been spent critiquing my appearance, looking to see what improvements I could make or needed to make to be acceptable. As I step into my true colours these days, I sense I’m becoming more childlike, in that I look at myself for longer and can usually see on the outside being reflected what I’ve got going on inside me.

  32. I started lately to really look at myself in the mirror, and could see and feel what I was hiding. An awesome men actually not scared of the world, what I make myself belief sometimes, with an enormous power and beauty. With looking more and more to this beautiful men I am, I am building a true relationship with myself. This is an amazing experience. When looking in the mirror I am enjoying myself with a big smile.

  33. I have never really thought about this before. As I read your blog I realised that I never really look in the mirror, I might quickly glance as you describe to check my hair or makeup but the focus is just on a small part, almost as if it is separate to the rest of me. I realised I had these thoughts that its ‘wrong’ to look at yourself in the mirror but why wouldn’t you- we look at and observe other people all the time, you having a moment to enjoy and observe yourself could be fun. Its something I will now be more aware of. I can remember how much I don’t like going to the hairdresser having to stare back at yourself for 45 plus mins when you sit in front of the mirror only looking at the features I didn’t like. This blog made me realise if you were sitting in front of another person for 45mins you wouldn’t sit there criticising every blemish and feature on their face, you take in the whole of them, I would never sit their critiquing them, I just enjoy them, so this is something I will look at bringing more of to myself.

  34. ‘Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.’ So it is something we know and have lived as a child. There is nothing lost, just oneself to be re-discovered.

  35. When discovering all the beauty and joy in me again through approaching myself with love instead of pressure and expectations, I began to realize what a wonderful man is reflected back in the mirror each time I look into it and how before I had only made it about the surface which I had created – which I strongly disliked – instead of seeing all this warmth, love and cheekiness that always had been within.

  36. Powerful blog, powerful statements. It reflected for me how I was always used to look at the mirror at myself, but if I remember it back again now, I feel I have pretending to look. But in truth I was never really looking at me, but only my physical appendance. It felt like looking at a mask on my face, feeling like a rock or wall, something I could not connect to or make any contact with. It was up until I met Serge Benhayon, that I started to see myself truly in the mirror, my eyes, my shines, just everything I am.. It is then I had become in love with my self, no wall or shield, no mask or wield, just a clear and beautiful woman.. I now know what I had missed when I looked in the mirror, no mask is needed, – the love and shine is in me again , I can see it – every time I look in the mirror. It is how much I allow to truly look at myself.

  37. Just before I was reading your words I had tears, i released a lot of sadness. The sentence you wrote ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ was exactly the hurt i was releasing, it felt very painful to feel how i was living for so long without me really in it.

    1. How beautiful sylvianbrikman, to see and feel this depth of pain and know that you are not living from this place anymore. A confirmation to yourself and your Livingness.
      I can absolutely relate to this and Nicole has exposed it well.. our deepest hurt is holding ourselves back and not living in our Glory each and every moment.

    2. Sylvianbrinkman what you have shared about feeling the sadness of realising that you have lived a life without you really being in it, is something that I have heard mention before and never really understood. However recently I have had glimpses of feeling like I have been a hologram for most of my life. Who have I been being if I haven’t been me ?

    3. Indeed Sylvia, that is a big sadness I know as well. Through the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I have come to know the beautiful man I truly am. Then to realize that I deliberately chose to live something else, this shadow of who I truly am, is indeed very painful.

  38. A mirror can offer one of the most powerful reflections, the reflection of us when lived from the truth of our hearts. This powerful reflection is what we are walking around with every single day, as a mirror to others who have yet to see this power within themselves. A mirror can change lives, a reflection can change the world.

  39. Feels absolutely gorgeous the way you have presented the unfolding in front of the mirror. It is actually a miracle these days that one can go from disliking one’s own reflection in the mirror to absolutely adoring oneself in full but many Universal Medicine students have in fact done just that. True self-love has a lot of power!

  40. ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ Absolutely true Nicole and when I look into the mirror and look deeply into my eyes I cannot, even when I want to, deny the gorgeousness of who I am

    1. I can relate with your comment Annelies, and also, ‘the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt.’ The crazy trap I was caught in, now I allow myself to enjoy me and my reflection.

  41. Yes, looking in the mirror at ourselves is a great tool of reflection and definitely one that I am enjoying more and more these days. Once not wanting to really look at myself, to now, absolutely loving my own gorgeous reflection.

  42. It is a very beautiful thing when we take a moment to stop and look into our own eyes. There is so much depth and beauty right there…and it can also be very telling of how much we are allowing our love to shine through… When I look into my own eyes these days, I seriously fall in love. I do! When I am stopped at the lights in my car, I often pull down the mirror and take 30 seconds to check in with my eyes and I am instantly reminded of who I am – divinity in a body.

  43. Looking at yourself in the mirror is a very powerful and simple thing.
    When I was about 8, a relative of mine had an enormous outburst at me in a car with my sister, cousin and mum. She told me how absolutely up myself I was. It wasn’t because I was looking in a mirror or saying flamboyant things about myself. I was expressing something at the time, I don’t remember what. She went off at me, so angrily and I was convinced from then that I must be up myself. The funny thing is that the way this experience affected me the most was that I would not like to look at myself in the mirror, especially not when other people were around. Trips into a public toilet meant that I would avert my gaze anywhere but towards the mirror. I feared that if people saw me looking at myself they too would think I was ‘up myself’.

    It took a very long time to start to re-imprint my relationship with looking at myself in a mirror and really taking care when I got ready, spending lots of time getting ready. This only came after the healing I received from Universal Medicine courses and sessions with Serge Benhayon.

    Now I actually use looking in the mirror as a way to support myself. When I get in my car or at work in the toilet, I look into my eyes and I feel supported by the steadiness and truth I see there. It is the complete opposite to the fear I used to be in of looking at myself in the mirror.

    1. I can very much relate to this Shannon, not wanting anyone in a public toilet to notice that I am looking at myself in the mirror. And like you I have become more honouring in giving myself permission to do it, allowing others to notice that I admire myself.

    2. Hi Shannon I can relate to not being able to look at myself in the mirror in a public place especially in a crowded ladies room. When I was young I can recall playing in front of a mirror without any self consciousness whatsoever but then I recall being told that I was vain and that vanity was one of the worst possible sins. I haven’t quite cracked this imposition in a crowded ladies room but I am working on it.

    3. Serge has said that you either harm or heal and from that comment from that relative you can see that it had a harming affect on you. But your blog also shows that we always have the opportunity to heal and I loved reading how you reclaimed that and now use looking at the mirror as a way of supporting yourself now.

    4. Shannon I really love what you have shared as it confirms what I have been feeling recently about looking in the mirror as a way of supporting myself. Interesting I have just had some self doubt in the last day or so and as I sit here having not yet looked in the mirror I wonder how I will appear to myself as I look back at me.

    5. Thanks for sharing this Shannon. I don’t recall a particular incident, but I definitely have something that says ‘you’re vain’ or as you say ‘up yourself’ around looking at myself in a mirror in a public area. It feels like an unspoken ‘rule’ that says you cannot appreciate your own beauty, it’s just not the done thing. I have no idea where this came from but your blog has given me some food for thought – thank you.

  44. Thank you Nicole, a lovely sharing of yourself and how important it is that we acknowledge the beautiful person within. No need to hide ourselves away from ourselves and others but let our light shine and find the joy and beauty waiting to be recognised and accepted.

  45. ” … making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.”
    Previously I found it hardest to take time to really see myself when I was looking my most radiant, I would sort of glance and then run. When there was something ‘wrong’ with my reflection, then I would spend time trying to ‘fix’ it, although still was not really seeing me.
    These days, I delight in the surprise I get when I see my radiance and take some time to honour and acknowledge it … me!

  46. Your beautiful blog offers so much inspiration Nicole. I have moments where I truly look at myself an see the deeply beautiful woman I am, but I can relate to the uncomfortable feeling you described when you first started to connect to your reflection. I can look another time and feel judgemental, critical and unloving of myself. Great awareness in what you say about looking at the clothes and not the person wearing them. I definitely do that – look at the whole picture making what is outside of me the thing that is making me look more beautiful, which misses out on the beautiful essence of me that is there all the time. I also love what you say about kids, “Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” It gave me a very real and tangible feeling of how it is to look at yourself in adoration – I have seen children do this, being totally admiring and adoring of themselves with absolutely no inhibition or apology. Great to see I have lots of work to do here. I feel you have given me the blueprint as to how to start. Thank You.

  47. I have spent years checking the mirror to see if I look the way I want to look, and the way I want to present myself to the world, yet never stopping and checking the real me under the clothes and make up and expectations I have created. I love your blog Nicole it has made me stop and realise that I can still look in the mirror and not see or appreciate me but to see what areas I could change or improve. Thanks Nicole, a timely reminder for me.

    1. Yes Alisonmoir, looking in the mirror to see a reflection of who we truly are first, and not just to check hair, makeup and clothing is key. It is my eyes I find that offer that… if I just use them to look and assess the outer appearance, then I miss the real essence of me in the appraisal.

  48. Thank you Nicole, i really enjoy your blogs and this one is just as touching as you invite us to share in the delights of re-connecting to the beauty-full woman you are.

  49. The mirror is a funny thing. I remember always catching my reflection in mirrors or shop windows and was always somehow fascinated by what I saw, but what I was looking at was my exterior, the way I presented myself to the world. After years of inner reflection from working with Universal Medicine, I now can look directly at me – all of me – straight into my eyes, and do a reading on where I am at in that moment. I still love the mirror, but really truly seeing myself has given the reflection it offers a whole new level.

  50. Hubba hubba Nicole. In Australian culture it can sometimes seem like the ‘norm’ to play yourself down. It has taken me quite a while to embrace how healthy and loving it is to develop a deep level of appreciation for ourselves. So where it would used to make me squirm reading blogs like this, I know actually enjoy the celebration of ones appreciation for themselves.

  51. It is amazing how so many people avoid mirrors, or only glance in them to check their appearance. I have found also that I feel guilty or vain if I look in the mirror around other people, or glance at myself in a shop window. But i realised that I like watching my reflection walking, seeing the way I move. Or at work, there is a mirror right beside the coffee machine and sometimes I like to look up and see my team working together reflected back at me. But at other times, like in my mirror at home, I chose only to see my imperfections, and I am having to work on seeing beyond that.

  52. I can vouch for the truth of this statement as I have lived it myself – “the pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me”. It is so ironic that we hurt ourselves more than anyone else could ever hurt us by holding back our true power and grace.

    1. I hear you Elizabeth- this is the deepest of pains and one inflicted upon us only by ourselves. Looking in the mirror from time to time to take stock that we are living our true essence feels like a very healing practice – the ultimate reflection if we are truly honest with how we are living.

  53. Thank you Nicole. I love this sentence: “I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out”. I still am amazed when I walk past a mirror and teensiest of glances has me gasping ‘is that really me? I am gorgeous’.
    Like you Nicole it took me a long time to feel comfortable looking at myself in the mirror, and I mean really looking: going beyond the cricticisms of the way I look: the nose that is not quite right, the wrinkles, the enlarged pores, the badly applied make up. The day I really saw my true self, I was in awe and I still am – that I can see such beauty in myself.

  54. Another great blog to revisit. I have had a similar relationship with mirrors only using them to check that hair was tidy, clothes looked good etc, never really stopping and looking into my own eyes. I remembered when I was much younger looking into my own eyes and liking what I saw, but somewhere along the line, possible when I ignored my soul’s council and sold a part of me out, I lost the enjoyment of looking into my eyes. But that enjoyment is back and being cherished and nurtured.

  55. I love this article Nicole, and I can see myself so much in all what you have experienced. I have noticed a change, when I started to admire and adore myself with each and every glance in the mirror. I used to judge and bring me down because what I wanted to see was not what I had in my head of that what I wanted to be, the copy of a role model from my head. Living with this role model in comparison was not fun. Thanks to Universal Medicine I have found back to the real role model that is ‘me’ in my heart.

  56. What a Beautiful blog to read. I also Love to see (or actually receive) the Amazing Beauty and Depth in my eyes and smile when they are reflected by the mirror. I also realise that these moments happen a lot, but that there’s also a lot of moments that I do not choose this. Your blog has made me aware of the fact that there’s parts that I do not want to see in the mirror because it hurts to have left myself. Using the excuse of not being accepted in the world, but if everyone’s playing that game… How on earth are we gonna end up with a society full of the Glorious Beings that we innately are. How sad and crazy is that. So from now on – without perfectionism – I will have a more deeper meeting with myself when looking in the mirror. And the last thing I want to share is that while reading your blog I could feel the choice I have to read your blog connected to the Joy in my heart or not. That in itself was a Huge revelation and healing! Thank you Nicole.

  57. Making a choice to commit to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
    Sounds so simple yet there are times when I find it very difficult.
    Do I look at myself in the mirror, or is it just a glance; for me most often it is just a glance.
    I am inspired by your blog Nicole to commit to lovingly look at myself, to really look!!

  58. Nothing quite like a mirror to reflect what is looking straight back at you. How you described trying on clothes in front of a mirror and looking at the clothes not the person wearing them – this was such a pattern for me. This has so changed now and as I celebrate committing to living in a way that is my truth – I even catch myself glancing in shop windows, and doing a little ‘love me’ dance in the changing cubicles when trying on new clothes that fit in with my choices of how I feel to express all of me. A lovely sharing Nicole thank you. ( I sit here now smiling – I’ve just told the world that I do a sexy dance in a changing cubicle – but hey that’s joy paying a visit and I’m now embracing that)

  59. Yes it all starts with admitting we live a facade, an ideal or a picture and we are not showing the ‘naked’ or real version of ourselves. This is the foundation to start afresh and re-discover ourselves and, in my case, allow the woman I have always been, out. I was always there, just covered up.

  60. Sometimes I am amazed by what I see, the depths of connection that is present in my eyes. and then I will look away and am amazed that this connection is still there as something I can feel in my body, that I do not have to see to know it is there, and when I look back again the reflection becomes a confirmation of what I know to be true.

  61. It is a amazing feel to look in the mirror and say damn he is one awesome dude.

    No show boasting just the simple fact that I’m worth a lot more then what I’ve thought of my self in the past.

  62. I can relate to what you are sharing very well Nicole. I’m making the same experience. First I always just saw the mask on my face, I couldn’t see my true me. This was very frustrating – I was always calibrating in front of the mirror and in front of other people. But slowly, the more I connect to ME, I can see the beauty of myself in front of the mirror, and that is wonderful.

  63. A mirror is powerful, because it reflects straight back to us our relationship with ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, it is very revealing…I know there are days i look in the mirror and i see such beauty and a gorgeousness i could kiss me, with that twinkle in my eyes….there also those times i look in the mirror and I’m not in appreciation of me, but rather i catch a judgement or there is a dullness and that twinkle is not there….it simply reflect how have i been living that day with me?

  64. Nicole I’d always viewed a mirror as something that tells me how good or bad I look, what others will think of me and so on. For this reason when I looked in the mirror it was about what my clothes or haircut looked like – not about the person I am. It’s lovely to see a new approach to looking in the mirror – one of appreciation and adoration for who we are. Thank you for sharing as I will be looking in the mirror in a very different way from now on. Actually looking rather than the quick glance.

  65. It is a weird thing that you are bringing our attention to, and not something I would have naturally considered. But yes, generally the mirror is there to ‘glance’ at my hair, some clothes I’m trying on but never me. There is some programming in me that makes it seem indulgent, or slightly unacceptable to pause and admire the man I have become… and to appreciate myself for everything I am. If I can’t do that, then what is the liklihood of others sharing it!

  66. Thank you Nicole, I can relate! I have noticed that when I do things very quickly, for e.g taking a “quick” glance in the mirror or rushing is simply a way of avoiding feeling where I am at or going deeper in my relationship with myself, others and my quality. A grand tool of reflection.

  67. I can always tell where I am at by looking in the mirror. If I see my bright, present, loving eyes beaming back at me I know I am connected to the real me. If I see anything else I know I am not.

    1. It is interesting how if we are not connected to ourselves it becomes evident in our appearance, with the majority of the world not connected to themselves imagine if they were connected and how everyone’s appearance would completely change.

      1. I’m picturing it Ben – true beauty would be reflected everywhere, bouncing off each and all of us in confirmation of our equal natural beautiful, loving essences. Now that would be divinity in action.

  68. I can relate to what you write here Nicole, about checking everything but myself when I have looked in the mirror, looking at my clothes, do the colours match, does this new dress make me feel good. No amount of dressing up covers what we are feeling inside. It is incredible how much learning we can get from when we make a stop and take a look in the mirror at ourselves truly. Dropping the facade makes us so much more vibrant to shine out.

  69. Growing up, I think it was kind of drummed into me that to look in the mirror too much or too long was considered vain, which in turn seemed very sinful or something. So I would only ever steal a glance here and there to make sure I wasn’t looking too ugly. I learnt recently that when we look in the mirror the reflection we get is the reflection we want to see, so if we want to see our true beauty we can, but if that is not what we are looking for we will see all kinds of other stuff the mind is telling us is there.

  70. Thank you Nicole Serafin for sharing your relationship with your reflection in the mirror. I know that too, that I only looked at my clothing and the overall reflection of myself in the mirror but now I really enjoy looking at me and sometimes I am even stopped and stunned by the depth and beauty that is reflected in my eyes, and my face. I thank God that there are mirrors in my life.

  71. I find fascinating that we are brought up to not go there, to not stop and look at ourselves and embrace the beauty that we are. No surprise really when our parents and their parents have never been encouraged to have this relationship with themselves. This is the start of the next generations to come where appreciating our gorgeous beauty can be celebrated. What I get from this blog and what I relate to is taking it deeper and really accepting the utter rich, hot, sexy woman that I am and celebrate this for who I actually truly feel myself to be infront of the mirrors or not.

    1. Gorgeous Natalie, mirror or not, it’s about feeling it to the core – all that richness, hotness and sexiness…and so much more:)

  72. This blog is great Nicole, looking in the mirror tells us how we feel about ourselves, we can’t hide from ourselves when we take a moment to connect. After reading your blog again I went and stood in front of my mirror. I saw and felt a tender and delicate woman, and I heard my inner voice say “I love you”. This feels like such a lovely acceptance of where I am at today.

  73. This is beautiful Nicole. I have been aware recently on how I have been looking at myself in the mirror. In fact I caught myself out the other day giving myself a quick glance to make sure everything was in place, rather than actually taking a moment to appreciate me, which I went back to do. I have also been observing how I am when I am at a public mirror, like in the public bathrooms. I can feel how I limit myself from how I look at myself. What if I get caught admiring who I am? The truth of that is that they will get to see a woman who loves, cares and appreciates herself for who she is, which is something rarely seen in a public bathroom.

  74. Thank you, this contribution stopped me in my tracks – the tracks of a similar story to what you are describing about living a shadow of myself and the sadness this brings up. I will be looking in, and not glancing at, the mirror a lot more consciously from now on and observe if and how it changes over time.

  75. “Glorious me”, now that feels like the key to life right there! In our glory there is only the purity of joy, harmony, stillness, love and truth, our wisdom that knows more than is comprehendible and our beauty deeper than the depth in the stars. We are glorious, and this is normal and the more we celebrate, appreciate and accept this as just who we are the more we set this foundation as our way of life. Truly gorgeous article, thank you.

  76. If I truly look at myself in the mirror it reflects so honestly exactly how I have been feeling or living with myself. The beauty and depth that I can feel at times if I really allow myself to look is so much more than this body can hold. When I am in touch with this expansiveness I feel blessed and feel I also look beautiful…it naturally flows out. These moments remind me that we are all divinity in expression and why would we want to hold that back?

  77. “I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.” I have so many opportunities throughout the day to look at myself and I spent most of my life making sure I didn’t catch myself in a reflection as it would lead to a downward spiral of self loathing. It wasn’t until I started to look at the hurt I had accumulated in my life – and I haven’t had a very traumatic life by any means, just the usual everyday disregard, overwhelm, self loathing that most of humanity chooses to walk around with. Once I started this process it was like the buffer zone I had put around myself started to go and I am now allowing the woman I had always been out. Now I love looking in the mirror and catching my reflection and even if some of the old stuff is lingering I know it is only an opportunity to work on and heal a hurt.

  78. Glorious sharing Nicole thank you. The mirror has mostly been a place I would steer away from as its reflection confronted me too often, even today I still at times shy away from really looking to see who is there, yet when I do I’m noticing more the women who’s there looking back is not one to turn away from, but one to look deep into the eyes of and simply say hello!

  79. Sorry to repeat but I loved this…. “But who are we kidding? Deep down we know we are not living true to ourselves, and yes it hurts when one day we look at ourselves in the mirror and admit this. But this simple admission provides a real opportunity for us to begin afresh, and choose to live who we truly are.” So well said Brendan and shows the true freeing power of honesty, and the crippling trap of denial. Denying something does not make it go away it just buries it deeper in our bodies, left to be dealt with another day.

  80. Reading your great blog Nicole I was reflecting on how we manage to make everything functional. A mirror to ‘check ourselves out’, making sure we are acceptable to the world instead of to confirm how gorgeous and precious we are. Thank you for sharing how you have changed functionality to loving-ality for yourself and the amazing consequences that followed, loving and adoring you more and unfolding the true beauty that you are. And thank you to Serge Benhayon for always bringing through the most simplistic of teachings that transform our lives, who knew a mirror exercise could be so powerful.

    1. Yes Caroline, just by reading this blog and all the comments I am seeing a simple everyday activity of looking in the mirror as an opportunity to check in with myself and practice accepting exactly where I am at, and appreciating myself. As you say ‘who knew a mirror exercise could be so powerful.’

    2. I can very much relate to this superficial “checking myself out” way of looking in the mirror – this blog and comments definitely inspire me to look deeper and allow myself to see my beauty and amazingness.

  81. During a workshop we were asked to look deeply into the eyes of another and feel and see the beauty of the other before us, (it was non-imposing and a beautiful exercise). The following day I felt inspired to deeply look into my own eyes for many minutes holding my own gaze in the mirror. I was able to see my sweet sensitivity and delicateness that came with power and warmth. After a while it was almost as if my reflection was a real person, with real presence looking back at me. I could feel the love and warmth of the reflected me, return to me as I looked out. It was as a beautiful experience as the one I shared in the workshop with a partner. To allow intimacy with yourself is a grand thing.

  82. Looking at myself in the mirror and deeply connect with the myself has allowed me to appreciate a different level of beauty within myself that is always there waiting to be rekindled and shared with the world.

  83. Nicole thank you for sharing you beautiful story. I so often give myself fleeting glances as I am getting ready, not truly looking into my eyes and appreciating the beauty and depth of my being. This is a great reminder and now inspired to put myself on a program which starts right now, this morning! Thank you!

  84. Beautifully expressed Brendan. Calling out the ways we are living that are not in accordance with the equal love inside of us offers us a fresh start to make choices that will reflect this innate love.

  85. To see myself in the mirror, on a photo or video of me is always a reflection that surprises me as to get to see and feel me from the outside as an observer of myself and match that with how I fee from inside is an interesting and honest process. It often opens my eyes for what I can try to hide from myself inside, but it is anyway most visible for everyone else in how I look, move and feel and so for me in the mirror. It is a moment of honesty and then choice, the choice to honour myself and deepen my quality of presence or to continue ignoring and basically abandon myself. Not that a mirror is needed for such choice but it helps to face truth.

    1. Like you say Alex, there is a root behaviour of trying to avoid seeing how we are truly living… and yet it is plain to see to those around us. A pause in the mirror to see how we are truly living can be exposing, and similarly an opportunity to appreciate ourselves.

    2. I like that, Alex, and agree that there is a moment of choice – to take responsibility for how I have been living that is now so obviously being reflected back to me in the mirror, or to look at myself in a superficial way that avoids what is really going on. So looking in the mirror is an opportunity to truly meet myself and deepen the connection.

    3. I love how you have expressed this Alex, I have started appreciating looking at photos of myself now too as well as mirrors and getting to know myself as an observer of me. As you say, “It is a moment of honesty and then choice, the choice to honour myself and deepen my quality of presence or to continue ignoring and basically abandon myself.” It does help to face the truth.

    4. Yes Alex I can sometimes get surprised by photos of myself or my reflection starting back at me. As you describe, its because I think I’m hiding things well, but in fact they are very obviously visible. I’m coming round to seeing mirrors as a useful tool to check in with myself, a way to get honest, rather than something to avoid.

  86. Thank you Nicole, I really loved your blog and all the comments that followed. I am still smiling. I have a number of mirrors in my home, which my friend pointed out the other day, I was so surprised,and it brought me back to realise that the only one I look into, is in the bathroom. I had been getting used to looking at myself, just briefly, but lately had forgotten to do this, so great to have the reminder to look into my eyes, and enjoy my own beauty shining out.

  87. Hi Nicole I very much relate to what you are saying. When I was younger I did not like what I saw in the mirror but these days I absolutely love it and love to look at myself!

    1. When I was younger I wanted to hide from mirrors! I didn’t like them in change rooms and I certainly didn’t want too many in my house. I too had a sadness I wanted to escape from feeling.
      BUT, nowadays I love seeing my sexy, sacred self in every reflection I come across and want more and more of it as I embrace my reflection as a confirmation of the divinity that I am and that I bring to the world.
      More mirrors I say!

  88. I have noticed recently how I appreciate myself when I look into my eyes in the mirror. It happens effortlessly now and I can relate to what you have shared Nicole, it wasn’t always this way. As an elder can I urge young women to not waste a day, a moment, an opportunity to look at themselves lovingly whenever there is a mirror in the room.

    1. Hello Bernadette, can I join you in urging young women to not waste a day, a moment, or an opportunity to truly see and appreciate themselves.

  89. I had to smile reading this this morning because of what happened for me yesterday morning. I was in my bathroom combing my hair before going to work, it had been raining heavily and my hair was wild and frizzy, curly looking, as it sometimes gets with the dampness. I thought, “how am I going to tame this?” Then I really looked at myself, into my eyes and my whole face to see that in fact my hair looked perfect for the way I felt, my eyes were shining and playful from laughing about my crazy hair, and I felt a burst of love for me just being me in that moment, it felt amazing. So, I didn’t tame my hair but let it be how it was. It and I felt beautiful that way and later lots of people commented on how amazing my hair and I looked which made me laugh even more from the joy of having gone deeper in letting myself be me as I am.

    1. Just great, the way you didn’t fall for your own worn out story of judging how you looked but went with how you felt inside; and then you even got it confirmed from others – it doesn’t get much better than this and shows up the old limitations and our prejudices against ourselves.

      1. Yes Gabriele, that worn out story is so yesterdays news!
        I came home from work earlier this week achy and heavy, with a cough and runny nose. I had a sleep and then felt that what my body really needed was a gentle walk, the last thing I would normally do if I had come home sick. I would normally think “I should stay in bed”. I wrapped up well and went for the walk and found that the heaviness in my body dissolved very quickly as I walked and I actually felt very light and loose, arriving home feeling revitalised. I find that often what I think I should do does not match up with what my body yearns for. These days I am listening more and more to what is asked for below the neck and not so much to the dictator who lives above it!

    2. I love what you have shared Jeanette. We can so easily make a judgment on what it is that we see, without checking in with what we are feeling. How lovely that you just let your hair be as it was highlighting your natural playfulness, which you obviously took in bucket loads to your day.

  90. It’s a beautiful thing to look into the mirror and connect to the essence of myself through my eyes, and to appreciate all that I am. It doesn’t happen every day, but the more I nurture myself with loving appreciation the more my essence is there for me to see, feel and connect to.

  91. Putting ourselves in front of a mirror could bring reflections of various kinds:
    Of our façades, of our fantasies, of our desires, of our putting ups. How many times do we look at ourselves differently of the way of looking that we are so familiar with (as if we were looking at someone else). How many times, do we look at the mirror in search of ourselves? How many times do we allow ourselves to be seen (even by us alone)? One thing is for sure, when we are open and still and look ourselves, time stops.

    1. Interesting questions you raise emfeldman. I don’t often look at myself in the mirror apart from to check my clothing or when putting on makeup. Its something I am going to have a go at more, because it feels like I’m missing out on a simple and regular opportunity to connect with myself.

  92. Deeply exposing of why many struggle with their own reflection and truly inspiring for showing us how it should truly be. With your commitment to self-acceptance and the expansion of the gorgeous woman you are leading you to enjoy your true reflection, this was just a pleasure to read.

    1. Mirrors bring up much and I can very much relate here to this article, as you say Samantha deeply exposing. What I have experienced over the years is that you can like yourself in the mirror when your make-up is complete and you have groomed yourself but what about when you have not, what about when you have no make-up on whatsoever! This has been a huge factor in re-connecting to my essence and seeing me for who I really am rather then what I think or how I had been living.

  93. It was after the course “Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 4” that I had my mirror revelation. I loved looking in my eyes so much that I got intimidated for a moment: “Am I allowed to adore me so much?” Society nowadays teaches us: no, don’t be arrogant, don’t show off etc. But that is all false and has its roots in jealousy. I now don’t miss a day adoring me. With this naturally comes to truly adore others as well.

    1. It is very satisfying and confirming for me too Esther. I feel joy every single time I see my beauty looking back at me in the mirror, and at the thought that other people get to experience this love too through my eyes.

  94. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m shocked ” have I really been going around with that? ” it’s a certain look in my eyes and I go, oh geez I haven’t been with myself. And then sometimes I walk past the mirror like ” hey you sexy thing” . It’s a great marker for how we are

    1. Hi harryjwhite, yes I’m realising that how I live my life away from the mirror will then be reflected in what I see when I do look in the mirror, If I even care to look in the mirror in the first place.

  95. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and while I walked away I said to myself: wow, I look really beautiful. It is these moments, intimate moments with ourselves, that are so important. Every day should have moments like this, where we cherish, adore, love and appreciate ourselves.

    1. I agree Mariette, cherishing, adoring, loving and appreciating ourselves should be a daily ritual like brushing our teeth or hair, or eating and sleeping.

    2. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and was so blown away by what I saw, the words were out there in the room before I could stop them – ‘OMG I am so hot I don’t know why the mirror isn’t bursting into flames’.
      So why is this so? What I see is the love and gorgeousness with which I treat myself, connect to myself and to my soul, and that is what everyone gets to see and feel – this incredible package that is me.

      1. Haha awesome Ariana, I am actually still surprised that my mirror is still in one piece….

      2. Love it Ariana. That is the way it should be. You are setting the standard. We are that amazingess, so the first step should be that are able to see that ourselves.

      3. Wow Ariana I think your gorgeousness just melted my laptop. Awesome to feel. Thank you.

      4. Awesome claiming Ariana. A great reminder to appreciate the gorgeousness and awesomeness and infinite love that we all come from within.

      5. What an absolute inspiration you are Ariana, I couldn’t help but smile at your comment. By expressing your truth so openly and beautifully you have given me permission to see and feel the true extent of my own gorgeousness. I may just keep a fire extinguisher handy to the mirror from now on!

      6. Gorgeous Ariana, the mirror able to hold your gorgeousness without bursting into flames is a fiery mirror indeed! Its awesome when we look in the mirror and see the love and delicateness we have been treating ourselves with reflected back to us. Keep smokin’ it up for the world Ariana, it sure needs more stunners like you 🙂

      7. And you know what, Ariana? I really believe you! I believe you that you love yourself so much that your gorgeousness is bursting your mirror! It puts a big smile on my face.

      8. Ariana what a ripple effect your profound and fiery comment has for us all. Your deep appreciation of the love and gorgeousness you feel for yourself cannot but inspire and fire us all up with the awareness that if you can care for yourself in such a way that allows you to feel this divine way, then so can we.

    3. Yes Mariette, so true. We should cherish ourselves much more, instead of criticizing ourselves about all the things that are not perfect. That game of self critique, never ends as we are humans and innately imperfect, in who we are and what we do.

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