The Beauty of Meeting Children and Allowing Them to Be

When I look at young children, I see bright lights in tiny bodies. They are quite dazzling in their beauty, playfulness, fun and readiness to love and be loved. I look at children and I see freedom… unashamedly allowing the world to see exactly who they are and how they experience life. Children will share with you the tiny wonders they discover along the intrepid adventure that is their average day. They will let you know when their bath water isn’t warm enough, their drink cold enough, their shoelaces tight enough or their t-shirt sparkly enough.

Allowing Children to Express or Squashing them to Conform?

When children have difficulty communicating, they come and see me: I work as a speech pathologist with children of all ages. Before becoming a speech pathologist I taught and coached swimming for 7 years. Both in my work as a swimming teacher and as a speech pathologist, I have found the task of trying to guide a child to ‘achievement’ against a set of criteria daunting.

Just as light eludes being trapped by lines and angles, children resist being moulded and squashed to conform to a structure that doesn’t honour the endless wonders that they are. And children know when they are put into a box that isn’t the right fit for them or doesn’t honour where they are on their journey.

I used to plan how I was going to teach a child to swim or how I was going to guide a child to develop their communication skills and try to get them to fit into my plan. The plan worked for some children and for some it didn’t. The children that the plan didn’t work for would show me this in a number of ways:

  • They would be what is often described as ‘naughty’.
  • They would have trouble concentrating and need to be constantly re-engaged with what I was presenting.
  • They would start to be ‘silly’ or begin ‘fidgeting’ when I was talking to them.
  • Even worse, there were some children who would be ‘good’ and do all they could to squash themselves into the structure of my plan.

All of these responses were in fact expressions of the fact that my plan didn’t work for these children. It didn’t work because I hadn’t taken a moment to put aside my plan, their parents’ expectations, time constraints, goals, etc. to look at the child and really see them. To see the endless wonder, natural joy and beauty that sparkles within all children, regardless of any diagnosis; but also to allow myself to feel what they had brought with them into the session.

Everyone struggles with the demands of their day and everyone carries around a matrix of challenges, burdens, belief systems and hurts that influence their ability to participate in life. Children are no different and they bring this baggage to every interaction they have… including swimming lessons and speech pathology sessions.

Meeting Children and Allowing them to Be

Structures and plans are needed when working with children, but they need to be coupled with a willingness to meet and see the child for where they are at and ALLOWING them to be there.

I still put plans together to address the difficulties that children have with their communication but now I adapt the plan to meet the child where they are at on any given day and on their life’s journey. I let the child guide me and most importantly, I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.

So, that is what I am joyfully unravelling at the moment, allowing children to be exactly where they are and guiding them to express the awesomeness that already exists within them. It is remarkable how much beauty you will see in a person when you look at them and see them for who they are on their journey rather than asking them to jump in a hot-air-balloon with you and to join your own path.

For me, there is a particular joy in seeing the pure exquisiteness of a child, mixed in with everything else they come with on that day, and allowing them to be what you see. Once you invite them to share all of themselves with you… they very often do. I never fail to be touched by the amount of joy, love, humour, conviction, confidence and wisdom that is right there in children – and they are just dying to share it with you. But… is it just children who are little powerhouses of awesomeness? Or is it possible that we big kids are that too?

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Kate Maroney, Speech Pathologist, Melbourne, Australia

514 thoughts on “The Beauty of Meeting Children and Allowing Them to Be

  1. Awesome sharing, Kate. I love how you recognise the perfection that children already are and see your role as helping them to express their perfection in our world. If we all could feel this in our children there would be no abuse as they would be appreciated as the guiding lights on earth that they truly are.

  2. Yes, I love the beauty of how children, if we allow them to, will tell it just as it is. It’s only when we as adults impose upon them and choose not to see them for who they truly are and what they bring, that this quality can be lost over time.

  3. Just recently I have been getting in touch with the child that actually still lives in me. The 3 or 4-year-old me who felt and wondered so much with the world, who had just begun to develop attitudes and ideas, the one that cried a few tears. It amazing to feel how the beliefs I have come to hold on to as an adult can actually easily unravel. I can return to my original, innocent way, if I just meet this child with no agenda, plan or pre-conceived idea, but just a warm and open heart. Thank you for all you say Kate.

    1. This child is the eternal angel that lives within us all. It is our true self that never ages but has access to the Wisdom of the Ages, forever on offer through the love in our hearts. Re-connecting to this child is re-connecting to God, the Universe and Us All, an unfathomable joy to behold.

  4. Beautiful blog Kate, it feels like learning is not only about not criticising for mistakes – be it a child, adult or ourselves, but also the allowing for the person or ourselves to be where we are at is key, because in the allowing we learn where we and other people are and when we have that space we know where to go. This is such a different approach to learning and teaching that already suggests and enforces that it knows where we are and what we are to learn. Could what you’ve described be the reason for so many children with ‘learning difficulties’ such as ADHD or Dyslexia? What if it’s not the child, the TV screens, vaccines etc but the system playing a part in this?

  5. Love this Kate you capture so beautifully the way kids of every age love to be met, for and as themselves. The moment we let go of the images we hold for how someone should be or behaviour and actually begin to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are, only then do we see the true beauty, joy, playfulness, fun and light that is evident in us all.

  6. Often as adults, we forget that we were once children and we have access to the exact same innocence and ability to be our lovely selfs. We just need to unsubscribe from everything that makes us that.

  7. Thankyou Kate, this blog is such a gem! Your words ” that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.” also highlight for me how I can see and hold myself and the adults around me.

  8. Love this Kate, it is truly beautiful that you hold a child in the amazing being that they are. As so often children are as you say controlled by putting them into boxes, and confining them to very narrow lines to perform in. Which is the total opposite to all that children are, they are super wise, joyfull and not easy to put in a box, so why are we trying so hard? Is it because we have been put in a box also and are still trying to confine ourself to the way that has been set for us? I feel this is true, and love that what Serge Benhayon presents, we are all the same and equally part of gods light.

  9. Agree Kate, children are “bright lights in tiny bodies” there is so much in what you say here about meeting a child and allowing them to be, in fact our education needs to put these qualities first way before anything else is taught.

  10. So inspiring to read how although you plan your sessions you allow the children who come to see you to be where they are at and you are willing to join them and work from there. How amazing for them to be truly met and supported on their journey and isn’t this what we would all choose wherever we are on our path through life to be met for the awesomeness that we are and offered support as we navigate life.

  11. I love the question you close your article with Kate. A beautifully sharing of how you have found that each child is exquisite, comes with a load of things/aspects that they are working through and may need support with, and most importantly longs to be met as the amazingness that they are. And so poignant to ask “But… is it just children who are little powerhouses of awesomeness? Or is it possible that we big kids are that too?” The choice of meeting someone and allowing them to be, at whatever age, is a wonderful and precious gift.

  12. It is a joy to know that you are out there being with children and honouring them for who they are!

  13. I find the same exquisiteness in adolescents – perfect already and beginning to unfold another level of that perfection. It is our job to keep reminding them of this truth by reflecting our own true beauty and love at a time when their connection to themselves is being tested and often doubted.

  14. Thank you Kate for sharing your beautiful story.
    The bingo moment for me was when you shared “I let the child guide me and most importantly, I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.”
    …How very few times have I been met like this as a child……And how few times do we as adults allow this type of interactions with others. Incredible realization through your words Kate.

  15. “Even worse, there were some children who would be ‘good’ and do all they could to squash themselves into the structure of my plan.” I agree Kate – it concerns me more to see a child who is completely compliant and given up than one who is pushing all the boundaries and fighting to remain true to themselves.

  16. I love this Kate, inspiring a way to be with children where we take responsibility for our own way of interacting while also understanding that children also bring their own stuff to the relationship and while these aspects may influence the outcome they do not need to be determinants of it.

  17. if we are able to observe the world and all its relationships, the way everything moves around everything else, the way everyone interacts, we will be able to have the ability to allow everyone to shine in their own light, to do what they are meant to be doing and to be who they truly are.

  18. Such a great blog Kate and a subject I can relate to very well. I know my daughter can struggle at school at times because the teachers are asking her to fit into their plan and learn their way, often she is just wanting to be connected to and appreciated for who she is not how she performs in class.

  19. I agree Kate, children are “bright lights in tiny bodies” and I know I have learned much from them throughout my life, especially from their openness and playfulness. It feels lovely to know that you are out there in the world, honouring them for who they truly are.

  20. This is what children so badly need, to be treated with love and care and being allowed to expand and develop each in the way that works best for them. This is so rare in a world that is based upon forcing children to fit into a predefined mould.

  21. I agree, there is so much exquisiteness not only in children, but in fact in everyone. It’s sad we often miss out on people’s exquisiteness because it’s covered by hardness and frustration and rudeness, but from experience I find that exquisiteness is never far away and often all it takes is a little love and care to bring it out.

  22. I love how you really assessed your program and noticed the trick of kids being ‘good’ and complying to a plan rather than being who they naturally are in full. Imagine if this knowing was taken into education, where it is not about good and bad children, but the purpose is about the children bringing their light – their whole selves to every moment. What an opportunity we have to meet and support these people as who they truly are.

  23. “Children will share with you the tiny wonders they discover along the intrepid adventure that is their average day. They will let you know when their bath water isn’t warm enough, their drink cold enough, their shoelaces tight enough or their t-shirt sparkly enough.”
    This is most beautifully observed and what a reminder that everything counts and that it is ok to point things out and adjust them, for everyone, children and adults alike.

  24. Each and every one of us is unique, and in children at an early age their uniqueness shines so brightly, but sadly they soon come to know that it is challenging to live in a world that does not honour the way they shine. Although they will initially resist being less than they naturally are, eventually they begin to dim their light so they can fit in, so they do not stand out. Living lesser than they innately are stays with them as they grow, but all the while the beautiful uniqueness of the child sits waiting patiently to be re-discovered; and as I have found, it is never too late to do so.

  25. Children are a beautiful reminder of what it is that we’ve left behind and encourage us to remember and reclaim that joy.

  26. This is gorgeous Kate. I particularly love this reminder . . . It is remarkable how much beauty you will see in a person when you look at them and see them for who they are on their journey rather than asking them to jump in a hot-air-balloon with you and to join your own path.

  27. Beautiful article Kate, meeting not only children, but everyone where each are at, I feel a most important consideration to ponder on, how often do we bring old experiences with others into the next time we meet them? Yet essentially both have moved on from that moment. We will not feel this though unless we are prepared to take others as we find them every time we meet.

  28. When my daughter was an infant she was often luminous in her complexion literally shining beaming with light.

  29. Love your last line kate – I would say that we are very much big bundles of love and awesomeness needing to let out and expressed.

  30. Beautiful Kate. Children teaching adults to reconnect to their own inner child and feel the joy and freedom of who they truly are.

  31. I saw gorgeous bundles of joy shopping this afternoon…. looking into their eyes I could see everything they are without talking with them or knowing them. The thing is, that doesn’t change our spark and our awesomeness is always there, just the exterior and what we show the world often does not match. I used to work in Early and School aged tutoring, the so called ‘naughty’ or disruptive children who would come after school, were often so exhausted from their day, anxious about having to do more school work that they didn’t understand, feeling pressured to be better because Mum and Dad were paying lots of money and bringing all that had gone on with friends, teachers and family with them. When they were pushed to just get on and do what they needed to, they pushed back and put up a wall…. but when we would sit down meet them, find out how they were feeling and what had happened in their day, you could feel they would drop the outer protection and know some of us were not there to pressure them but support.

  32. What a gorgeous blog Kate. I love this line “It is remarkable how much beauty you will see in a person when you look at them and see them for who they are on their journey rather than asking them to jump in a hot-air-balloon with you and to join your own path.” How life changing it would be to interact with people without needing them to conform to my ‘plan’. Thank you for bringing my awareness to this.

  33. I love this last line of yours Kate. I was often told off in my adult years by parents of children for ‘egging them on’. Even though it was kind of meant in jest, it was attempting to squash the natural spark in me connecting to and igniting the natural spark in the children, which was seen to be the seed of naughtiness. I can feel now the jealousy of how natural and childlike I could easily become around children and how this impulse was indeed very much alive and well within me.

  34. “And children know when they are put into a box that isn’t the right fit for them or doesn’t honour where they are on their journey.” Children do know, I remember when i was a child and i was put into a group separate from the rest of the class and i felt so left out, i did not know what i did wrong,but even until to day i never knew why this was when i was around 6yrs old.

  35. What a beautiful blog Kate. The children you work with are absolutely blessed to be supported by someone who appreciates them in full.

  36. “I let the child guide me and most importantly, I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.” What a beautiful approach, a way to be with each other children and adults alike.

  37. As children we are innately open, bright and willing to share our sensitivities. And there’s an ease in our bodies in being imperfect and being open to learning about life. As we get older we are taught that this openness and curiosity is not the way to learn about life and get boxed by parental guidance and education (as did our parents who eere subject to the same upbringing). But the fact that there is an innate curiosity and openness to exploring life based on our feelings and a complete contentment, with no judgement towards ourselves while young and learning is something that stands out as I read this blog today. What if that openness was re-embraced in adult life?

  38. “Even worse, there were some children who would be ‘good’ and do all they could to squash themselves into the structure of my plan.” And by doing this they are taking on and accepting that there is something wrong with them that needs fixing. That they cannot just be themselves and be supported to heal whatever hurts and guards are there that might be in the way of expressing if full.

  39. “I let the child guide me and most importantly, I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.” the biggest smile came across my face when I read this…love love love what you have shared. What a gift you are giving these young bright lights! Keep up the amazing work….

  40. I love how you write about children and their innate beauty. It is very much a confirmation of how gorgeous we all are.

  41. “I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.” What an inspirational way to be with children Kate. What if we would be like this with adults as well?

  42. “Structures and plans are needed when working with children, but they need to be coupled with a willingness to meet and see the child for where they are at and ALLOWING them to be there.” This is gold Kate. Children see and feel everything and need space to be allowed to express this.

  43. Children do often remind me how awesome and joyful life actually is and that this is equally in me too. I know being occupied in the seriousness of adult life in meeting children something in me melts and connects with that beauty we all are, and from there I can observe that that seriousness does not truly belong to me but is a way of living I have adopted for gaining recognition and reward instead of just to appreciate what already lives within.

  44. As a parent of three children and our children like any children within a family are all unique in their own way it is impossible to treat them all the same at the varying stages of development. Where one child may find it challenging in one particular area another may have no trouble whatsoever so it is my responsibility to not compare but to allow the children to guide me and to allow the unfolding to take place in their own time gauging where the children are at.

  45. Kate, having the wisdom to recognise the fact that children are already perfect little beings of light before we feel the need to change them is a huge advantage and inspiration that you share here. I can imagine the great connection you would have with these children. Definitely something we adults need to be aware of too, as parents and grandparents.

  46. There is great wisdom in seeing that such children are not broken and needing to be fixed, but rather are already complete and exquisite in that, just needing support to express it in full. Kate, I love how you have expressed that children are ‘bright lights in tiny bodies’…it is definitely the same for us all. And no matter the movements we make that may impede the expression of our inner glow, the eternal flame that lives within each of us can never be extinguished.

  47. Allowing and appreciating the bright lights that children and all of us are and not treating them as something to be fixed would mean that nobody has to feel that they need to prove themselves and can focus on unraveling the expression within. We put so much energy into protecting our position, holding the idea of ourselves together, that we often miss the opportunity for healing. I imagine coming into your office Kate, and not needing any of that protection, so we could start with expressing straight away.

  48. Kate this is just gorgeous – there is such a lightness and joy in how you express, in particular when you note children are already perfect and how you see your role … ‘ I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.’ – imagine if we approached everyone we met in this way – this I want to play with.

  49. We are big kids and love to be met and seen for who we are no different than children do. When we connect back to our natural joy and beauty that sparkles within ourselves equally thats when we truly see what our children hold within, so we enjoy their naturalness and playfulness and don’t feel the need to impose on them the seriousness a lot of us have taken on.

  50. Many years ago I watched a small child at a BBQ out the back playing with pegs. As soon as his mother found him, she saw it as an opportunity to educate him, making it a game about counting, and of course encouraging him whenever he got it right by way of approval. Very quickly the joy disappeared and I watched as the young boy did what he was told very mechanically. But the moment of connection he had been experiencing was gone. This is not to say we don’t need to educate our children in the mechanics of life – of course we do – but to use every waking moment to “educate” our children actually does not serve them, and comes from a deep fear and insecurity that they will not be OK, and thus it comes with a deep imposition in that regard. Gone is the honouring of the inner connection that the child innately feels, setting them up to go through life seeking anything to fill up the void left by their inevitable choice not to foster that connection as they get older.

    1. I am learning a very similar thing, but working at the other end of the age spectrum (mostly). It’s quite incredible how we can place our beliefs, expectations, values at the forefront without really considering what that particular person wants or even realising where they are at. It’s quite humbling really to realise that we actually have no control over anyone at any stage and to present another way without telling them what to do is a true gift.

    2. Very well said Adam, and a very powerful reminder with where I’m coming from with my children or even training colleagues at work – “…comes from a deep fear and insecurity that they will not be OK, and thus it comes with a deep imposition in that regard.” It’s where we judge something or someone as right or wrong, good or bad, and then go about making them better… but all the while coming from a lack of and fear.

  51. When a child is truly met it opens a connection within them that can never be lost…. It may be that the rest of their life is chaotic but the spark has been lit, and this is a blessing.

    1. I agree, when a Child is met the spark has been lit, the seed planted and it is always within them to come back to if they choose. Therefore it is so important for us to be the love and truth we are as we inspire and support the spark in others.

  52. The only true way to help someone who was communicational issues is to offer true love to that bundle of light that never goes off and meet them where they are. From there everything is possible. Judging them (even if professionally), and offering them a way to conform to the image behind the judgment does not truly help even if it may help them at a functional level.

  53. I love interacting with kids and find it helps to treat them just as anyone else. Just because children are little they have a wealth of wisdom and joy that just envelopes them. When we interact in this way, it keeps things simple and allows children to be just as they are and its amazing the conversations you can have with children too. Thank you Kate a very beautiful blog indeed.

  54. Something I am learning as a parent is to see God in all my children, and support them to stop being anything less then this. Part of this support is meeting them and confirming when this part is lived, and putting a stop to when it is not.

  55. Kate, I love what you shared about how light and vibrant children are and how in so many ways we try and box them in to our expectations and what is considered the norm – which in turn dulls that same natural vibrancy that we so love about children. But what I also realised in reading this is that we also do this with adults too.

  56. What a beautiful blog Kate, “I see bright lights in tiny bodies”. Imagine if the light is what we first met in people, allowing them their own expression to be and shine. Children remind us of the light we are, yet may have dulled to conform to something other than our true essence.

    1. Bringing this level of awareness and understanding to our children and to life, where we meet the person or situation without any preconceived idea or expectation of how it should be allows a natural and true connection with all that is before us… and that magical.

  57. Its like the best kind of plan for kids is the most adaptable one, that observes them first before initiating the next step. That is a neat trick with a class of 8 or 30 and a curriculum that is imposed by Government… these are the challenges of modern teaching, but its that connection first that is I am sure the key.

    1. Indeed Simon, it is not the curriculum we must give priority, but the individual child in which that inner-heart connection is key.

  58. Having been along to a Speech Pathologist with one little child I know, I was very Impressed with the way this lady worked with the child, very similar to your sharing. There were guidelines that were gently and loosely followed and the child had a lot of fun in the process of learning too. I feel what you are expressing and the way you are working with children is wonderful Kate.

  59. Kids are beautiful powerhouses, like you share, we don’t often given the space and time to be who they truly are, we get caught in ideas and beliefs in how they should be and behave. We forgot to see the magic in their eyes and their playfulness. We need to stop and allow for this and see each child for their own.

  60. To allow that age old wisdom coming through young people is an amazing way to parent and educate children the temporal requirements of life. We must not forget that they come into life with as many lives lived as you have, with the same connection to the Ageless Wisdom as you have, that we are actual equal and one and the same, only in a different body and unique angle of expression.

  61. It is so gorgeous to read something, by a professional who works with children, promoting the fact that there is nothing wrong with children. Like you say Kate, ‘I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room.’ This is huge, as many professionals try to diagnose and change children from a place that something is wrong. Keep up the revolutionary work!

    1. The error of our ways is that we start with what is ‘wrong’ and try to ‘fix it’, rather than start with what is true and let it express. We don’t need clever solutions to perceived problems; we need only address the hindrances that impede the expression of our essence. To do this we cannot see the world in terms of ‘right’ versus ‘wrong’ because such ill perceived notions stem from the same pool of consciousness that will not let us see all that is truly true.

  62. The world would be a vastly different place if we were all treated with the love and grace with which you offer these children, rather than being squashed or molded into the boxes society creates for us. There is such beauty in honouring children and allowing them to be the awesomeness they already are… guiding them to find their individual path to express this in full .. and allowing them to grow unimpeded, to be the gems that they innately are.

  63. When I read this sentence it was as though the whole pressure, expectations, goals and targets placed on the child, just dropped away, to allow space for them to simply develop from where they actually are – rather than be expected to be at a certain point at a particular time for the convenience of everyone else… “willingness to meet and see the child for where they are at and ALLOWING them to be there.

  64. Imagine if we also treated adults with that same care you offer to children Kate? That we had no expectations but focused on the awesomeness that each person already is, knowing that any support needed is simply to assist that person to express it more in full.

  65. oooooooooooooh what a super gorgeous loving joyful blog – blessed is any child who comes to see you Kate as am I reading this.

  66. A deeply gorgeous reminder that we too were once all that you described in paragraph one, and a powerful opportunity to reflect on how we ourselves have stepped away from expressing in this way and simply being the ‘powerhouses of awesomeness’.

  67. What an amazing job you have, Kate. I work with big kids who have chosen to excel at fitting into a mold and holding on to that ideal, and your sharing inspires me to find the little kids in them and see if they want to come out and play.

  68. “When I look at young children, I see bright lights in tiny bodies.” This line melts me. Deep within this is true for us all. We are gigantic stars expressing through an earthly form. Children are just more transparent in the sense that they have not yet put up the filters and barriers that adjust and block this light divine.

  69. Kate I love this blog. You connect the reader right to the glory of children. “They will let you know when their bath water isn’t warm enough, their drink cold enough, their shoelaces tight enough or their t-shirt sparkly enough.” It is so very true and this is something to be celebrated yet often we simply tell children how it should be.

  70. Kate what an adorable blog you have exactly summed up how I feel about children. Recently I was asked to stop the car while a group of very small children crossed the road and they were heart melting in their sweetness some were holding hands with each other some were skipping along as they crossed the road so easy and care free in their bodies. So I ask the question where do we go wrong as a society that by the time they are teenagers most if not all that natural joy will have gone from their bodies. Is it possible that we are suppressing children as they go through the current education system so that they then come out the other side completely squashed and all vitality for life is smothered.

  71. “When I look at young children, I see bright lights in tiny bodies. They are quite dazzling in their beauty, playfulness, fun and readiness to love and be loved.” I love this opening line, I see a previous comment that it melted them, and I agree, it melted me too. They are such bright lights and the readiness to love and be loved is exquisite. They are there to remind adults that we are that too but have lost our way with barriers of hurt and protection.

  72. ‘Just as light eludes being trapped by lines and angles, children resist being moulded and squashed to conform to a structure that doesn’t honour the endless wonders that they are. And children know when they are put into a box that isn’t the right fit for them or doesn’t honour where they are on their journey.’ Very beautiful Kate, great remember.

    1. Jenny I agree that is so spot on what Kate has shared, no wonder children play up and seem to be very naughty, when actually they are just saying I don’t want to confide to this way of being as it’s not my truth. I know I use to be like that when I was young.

  73. I appreciate the exquisite honesty when you write that ” there were some children who would be ‘good’ and do all they could to squash themselves into the structure of my plan”. We do tend to do that, trying to control the situation and marching in a straight line to a desired prescribed outcome, neither looking right or left. And all the while, we gag ourselves and our children and kill the joy.

  74. Awesome Kate, reflecting to us that neither our age or personality defines us and so we are always at choice to connect to our playfulness again.. And that no matter our age or past we can choose to come back to this naturalness we know, we know so so well, even though we might have stepped away.. It is still there in us all the way every day.

  75. The best way to attempt to extinguish a light that can never be extinguished is to encase it in a structure that will not let the inextinguishable light shine forth its majesty unto the world. Thus why humanity can be said to live in perpetual darkness when we do not live true to the loveliness we are.

  76. I love reading “to put aside my plan, their parents’ expectations, time constraints, goals, etc. to look at the child and really see them. To see the endless wonder, natural joy and beauty that sparkles within all children”. What you have shared is so truly honouring and appreciating of the children and it shows us the way we could be in every relationship.

  77. Meeting children children for who they are is one of the most loving things I have done, as I surrender to see them for who they are, I instantly allowed myself to surrender more to who I am.. Those roles, expectations were then trying to get in, but by simply having the reflection of children – brought me back to the loveliness that we are, and so those thoughts and ideals (roles, images) had less to no power. This example is one of the many that show us that power lays in our hands and we give it either to the idealisation of who we are not (roles, play, images, games) or to who we are.

  78. This is such a brilliant understanding of exactly how we live our lives – whatever our age. I was smiling reading the signs of when a child isn’t fitting into ‘ the ideals and beliefs’ of the expectations being imposed. Smiling because I said this is me -still! The behaviours might now be very grown-up, subtle and quite internalised but still a way of wanting to be naughty because I’m not being true to myself.

  79. Your opening paragraph is such a delight to read and feel the confirmation that it’s all true – for all of us. The same sparkly light is still alive in us all and this is very worth re-connecting to, this gives others the invitation to choose the same. This is a snow-ball affect that will continue to reflect out to everyone so the ‘big’ sparkly people who care for the little sparkly people feel the equalness with appreciation. The need to have people conform will not be required as our true way of being and expressed is honoured and encouraged . Now there is a choice worth making for sure.

  80. What if all the evil we complain about in the world all started with the moulds we have to try to fit ourselves into when we are little and all the toils and tensions, dynamics and conflicts that come with it instead of being met for the gorgeous light we are? But that’s the thing about our light, no matter how much we are forced to box and mould and hide it away, it is always stronger and brighter than any of what the outside world can through at it put together.

  81. When we see childrens as balls of light, you can feel their true beauty. When they are naught or playing up, its often because they are being boxed an feeling squashed in expressing their truth.

  82. I love this line Kate as it reveals so much – ‘When I look at young children, I see bright lights in tiny bodies.’ And the fact is that our light within remains unchanged regardless of the age of the body it is held in. As such every child holds a great reflection for us all of the wonder, awe, joy and sheer playfulness that we all can live without hesitation, as we too have not in essence changed one little bit, we only think we have.

  83. I agree children do resist being moulded, I observe this in my own children, what they struggle with at school more than anything is the push to conform and not question what is presented to them as the ‘truth’ they have questions, they can feel inconsistency in delivery of a subject and how it has been interpreted and yes I have heard a 5 year old challenge many subjects in school that have not felt true to him. This is natural, why do we all feel the need to conform, I do not suggest that we go around not working together, far from it. I do suggest we support children to unfold themselves they are full of understanding and wisdom, not empty vessels be filled or clay to be moulded.

  84. Your article reminded me how selfish if not self-obsessed it is to squeeze children or anybody into the particular box we need so our world is comfortable and safe. And to think that the whole education system is based on just that. Never is it about people first, it is always about systems.

  85. Kate, this is gorgeous, I see this amazingness in children and can feel how if we have academic goals and expectations that certain children do not live up to for whatever reason then it is easy to label these children as ‘not good at something’ or ‘being behind’ and we can easily miss out on their amazingness, on how incredible they are just for being them and the uniqueness that have to offer and the unique way in which they work. It feels like there can be a constant push to get children to perform and to work and be a certain way, much like a production line – this isn’t how children are and how they work.

  86. We never turn off the light we are and we represent. Yet, as we grow up, we learn to conceal it and to ignore it to the point that we can comfortably even deny it. Yet, since the light remains, all we have to do is to reconnect back to it, embrace its staggering beauty and walk with it again… shining.

  87. It’s so true – kids never shy away from communicating that something isn’t right – and parents or carers can get frustrated by that, rush the child or dismiss what they are saying. What is that teaching kids? To just get on with it no matter if the details are not where they need to be? I’ve just got a whole new level of appreciation for children’s detailed approach to life.

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