The Beauty of Meeting Children and Allowing Them to Be

When I look at young children, I see bright lights in tiny bodies. They are quite dazzling in their beauty, playfulness, fun and readiness to love and be loved. I look at children and I see freedom… unashamedly allowing the world to see exactly who they are and how they experience life. Children will share with you the tiny wonders they discover along the intrepid adventure that is their average day. They will let you know when their bath water isn’t warm enough, their drink cold enough, their shoelaces tight enough or their t-shirt sparkly enough.

Allowing Children to Express or Squashing them to Conform?

When children have difficulty communicating, they come and see me: I work as a speech pathologist with children of all ages. Before becoming a speech pathologist I taught and coached swimming for 7 years. Both in my work as a swimming teacher and as a speech pathologist, I have found the task of trying to guide a child to ‘achievement’ against a set of criteria daunting.

Just as light eludes being trapped by lines and angles, children resist being moulded and squashed to conform to a structure that doesn’t honour the endless wonders that they are. And children know when they are put into a box that isn’t the right fit for them or doesn’t honour where they are on their journey.

I used to plan how I was going to teach a child to swim or how I was going to guide a child to develop their communication skills and try to get them to fit into my plan. The plan worked for some children and for some it didn’t. The children that the plan didn’t work for would show me this in a number of ways:

  • They would be what is often described as ‘naughty’.
  • They would have trouble concentrating and need to be constantly re-engaged with what I was presenting.
  • They would start to be ‘silly’ or begin ‘fidgeting’ when I was talking to them.
  • Even worse, there were some children who would be ‘good’ and do all they could to squash themselves into the structure of my plan.

All of these responses were in fact expressions of the fact that my plan didn’t work for these children. It didn’t work because I hadn’t taken a moment to put aside my plan, their parents’ expectations, time constraints, goals, etc. to look at the child and really see them. To see the endless wonder, natural joy and beauty that sparkles within all children, regardless of any diagnosis; but also to allow myself to feel what they had brought with them into the session.

Everyone struggles with the demands of their day and everyone carries around a matrix of challenges, burdens, belief systems and hurts that influence their ability to participate in life. Children are no different and they bring this baggage to every interaction they have… including swimming lessons and speech pathology sessions.

Meeting Children and Allowing them to Be

Structures and plans are needed when working with children, but they need to be coupled with a willingness to meet and see the child for where they are at and ALLOWING them to be there.

I still put plans together to address the difficulties that children have with their communication but now I adapt the plan to meet the child where they are at on any given day and on their life’s journey. I let the child guide me and most importantly, I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.

So, that is what I am joyfully unravelling at the moment, allowing children to be exactly where they are and guiding them to express the awesomeness that already exists within them. It is remarkable how much beauty you will see in a person when you look at them and see them for who they are on their journey rather than asking them to jump in a hot-air-balloon with you and to join your own path.

For me, there is a particular joy in seeing the pure exquisiteness of a child, mixed in with everything else they come with on that day, and allowing them to be what you see. Once you invite them to share all of themselves with you… they very often do. I never fail to be touched by the amount of joy, love, humour, conviction, confidence and wisdom that is right there in children – and they are just dying to share it with you. But… is it just children who are little powerhouses of awesomeness? Or is it possible that we big kids are that too?

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Kate Maroney, Speech Pathologist, Melbourne, Australia

558 thoughts on “The Beauty of Meeting Children and Allowing Them to Be

  1. My heart swells with love and warmth just reading this blog Kate. You make it so clear that control does not really work for anyone, child or grown up. When we allow people to be who they are everyone is blessed.

  2. Thank you Kate Maroney, so gloriously shared.. It is all so true , small kids just live that, we as big kids need to re-live that again – it is all in us, we just have lost contact with it – that’s all.. Re-connection is easy once you know how and have the willingness to do.

  3. Being met for who we truly are and not what we do is a gift at any age. We are never too old to be confirmed as the light in a tiny body we are.

  4. “I still put plans together to address the difficulties that children have with their communication but now I adapt the plan to meet the child where they are at on any given day and on their life’s journey.”
    This to me is the grace of humility, allowing and acceptance. The support this offers to children is beyond words.

  5. Kate you beautifully explain how we could all look at children or really the whole of humanity. Looking first at the fact that we are everything already what an incredibly support way to be with them.

  6. “When I look at young children, I see bright lights in tiny bodies.” Imagine if we all looked at children that way – if we confirmed who they are whilst guiding and setting boundaries. And then if we did that with everyone – we saw the light of their being and beyond any behaviours that present themselves.

  7. A lovely sharing and great realisation that something was not working, ‘ It didn’t work because I hadn’t taken a moment to put aside my plan, their parents’ expectations, time constraints, goals, etc. to look at the child and really see them.’ Bringing in responsibility, and questioning what is going on here is always a wise move.

  8. We are all bright lights in different size bodies and then there is a question of how much we dull or hide our light and our children’s light.

  9. By allowing and supporting our children to shine we can also be inspired to let our own light out – allowing us all to ignite and inspire each other.

  10. I have found that children are amazingly fantastic at sparkling. They don’t even need encouragement to do so, they simply need the space. They can sing-song their way through anything, add a skip or dance to any step and see the joy in everything. Many adults have lost that ability and children are the most gorgeous reminder of how joy-full and light life can be.

    1. Nikki this was gorgeous to read, it’s so true. I often see kids done up in sequinned tutu’s helping their mum do the grocery shopping – there is just no holding back expressing their joy and awesomeness!

  11. What is described here is a true teacher – one helps and guides another to unfold and evolve their true potential rather than moulding them into another’s vision.

  12. That’s huge Kate. It’s business right there – relationships. Instead of following the regiment process of completing a task or required role, why is it not about connection from one being to another and meeting each other for all We All are, and at in that moment. So, well summed up “.. willingness to meet and see the child for where they are at and ALLOWING them to be there.” AND, as Kate concludes this is not only for children …

  13. Kate this is a wonderful reminder of how to be with adults, and that we are just like kids but without that solid and more obvious connection to our essence children have. “I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.” Imagine if we treated everyone we met as knowing how gorgeous and perfect their essence was, even if it was covered up? It’s a process for us all to let it out and live it consistently.

  14. Kate, as I re-read your article I was remembering my own schooling and the teachers that tried to fit me into their plan and those that didn’t and how they both felt for me as a child. It is wonderful to have teachers who can drop their plans and just be with the child as it makes all the difference to the child. All we really want, whether we are small or big kids, is to be connected with and seen for who we are. If we wanted to we could make life so simple if we just made it about connection first.

  15. The sparkle that you write about here Kate is within us all. When we allow our sparkle to shine this automatically allows the other to feel the same quality and the potential is then inspiring to see and feel.

  16. How beautiful Kate, connecting with the children and allowing them to be exactly where they are at, ‘to meet and see the child for where they are at and ALLOWING them to be there.’

  17. How gorgeously presented – that ‘just as light eludes being trapped by lines and angles, children resist being moulded and squashed to conform to a structure that doesn’t honour the endless wonders that they are.’
    This is true for adults also even though for so many it might be buried away and not something so easily accessible – but, it is through a child’s eyes and expression that we are reminded of our relationship with light and with a true way of being, underpinned by simplicity, love and harmony, we all innately know.

  18. Seeing children for who they truly are and allowing them to express this unashamedly sends them the message that it is ok to be a beacon of light in world full of shadow. If instead we crush this expression by way of the ideals and beliefs we impose on our young then we send them the message that it is not safe to stand out from the crowd, no matter that the crowd are not living true to who they are and are in desperate need of a true reflection in order to return to the absolute love and heavenly light we all come from.

  19. Creating or holding a space for children or anyone to express truly how they are feeling is a welcomed change. So often now things are set up rigidly for where we need them to be which forgets or dismisses the actual people or person involved. Whether it be a child or adult giving them space to allow them to see what they are feeling is very worthwhile. There is so so much of this world built on telling or directing which comes from a place that is saying we don’t already know. If we keep making the same call that was made to us as children, the call that we don’t truly know then we continue to feed the world in the same way.

  20. I still remember the people who really connected with me as a child as they stood out. Their imprint is lasting and this shows how much we affect each other and how we can inspire each other.

  21. What I can feel in this blog is how children avoid anything that is not of love. It’s like the body doesn’t know how to handle the contrast to all they are (love), and in this the ‘naughty’ behaviour comes out.

  22. Beautiful how you bring it back to the old children too – we! What was once seen and felt in our youngness (childhood years) can still be accessed and is all there, we simply have lost track and focus of it.. Nothing less nothing more.

  23. ‘I remember that the child was already perfect before they walked into my treatment room. I am just there to support them to develop their ability to express that perfection.’ This is a great philosophy to bring to all our interactions, children and adults a like. And likewise the children and adults that we meet are there to support and develop our own ability to express the truth of who we are and when we are humble enough to accept this and work with it we feel the harmony that is possible for us in all our relationships.

  24. I find when we are at ease with ourselves and hold that quality with children, they too mirror this quality and they are then drawn to you and open up to who they are in full and this is a real joy to behold.

  25. I love this Kate, ‘when you look at them and see them for who they are on their journey rather than asking them to jump in a hot-air-balloon with you and to join your own path.’ … it captures exactly how we can miss each other when we attempt to fit others into our mould rather than just seeing them as they are.

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