I remember this moment: I am four years old and I have just walked up a dirt road from our house with my family… bare foot. It is spring and as a bare‐foot‐going family we are beginning to “toughen up our feet.” I remember feeling confused that the little stones felt more and more pointy and sharp as we went along, even though they looked just the same as the ones at the start!
For most of my life I have had anxiety of one degree or another, manifesting as compulsive hand washing at the age of eleven, to constant checking in my teens and adult years, along with panic attacks which I experienced palpitations, sweating and shaking… It was very exhausting and debilitating: a reaction to life’s stresses and all the beliefs in the world… the “shoulds and should nots“, “got to’s“, “it’s this… it’s that“, “it’s because of“… All the external views and opinions as opposed to what I was feeling within, along with a lack of trust in myself and my decisions.
The normal practice when looking for teaching jobs and attending interviews is to prepare yourself as much as you can by collecting as many possible questions which may be asked, practicing your answers by writing them down, having mock interviews to prepare you for what might come, and to have the ‘perfect’ observation lesson planned. Continue reading “Preparing For an Interview – Is There Another Way?”
How often in life have we used what another person said to validate our expression because we didn’t feel we were enough? We do it with anyone we perceive to be an authority because they have chosen to walk further than we have on some path of experience or other.
For example, a school child may say “the teacher said so”, or likewise invoke parental authority to convince another child of something they want another to accept. As adults we may say that such-and-such a scientist or doctor said something about health, or business expert said something about investment, or sporting hero said something about the physics of baseballs spinning, or priest said something about our ‘souls’, etc, etc.
We can come up with as many examples as there are realms of activity in life. In each case we validate ourselves by using the words or ways of someone we perceive as more credible than ourselves.
per·fec·tion / pərˈfekSH(ə)n/ – the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.
The idea of being perfect once offered me something finite – a finish, closure, an end. It was something I could strive for and achieve. An expected goal. It was an old familiar feeling and very comfortable, however it was a form of imprisonment. Continue reading “Imperfect”