Imprisoned by Judgment: Understanding & Accepting Life Just as It Is

How easy is it to judge another person? How easy is it to assume that people are exactly the same as when you saw them last, particularly if it was many years ago? How easy is it to see what we want to see, rather than what is truly there for us to feel? How easy is it to label and imprison ourselves in the harshness of judgment?

I have made choices in my life that I wished I had not made, and as the years have rolled on, what remains is my own memory of these times and a whole lot of regret. In so many instances I have struggled to let it go. I could not accept these choices, mistakes and imperfections and would find my mind reverting to them constantly, like a video on replay. These incidents and regrets were so alive in my body, accumulating as the years rolled on, that it felt like they occurred only yesterday.

I could feel how reliving the things I have done or said in my life kept me stuck, small and contracted in a false “I am bad” program. Guilt kept me in the illusion that I was unworthy of wonderful things, such as loving relationships and self-assuredness, laughter and joy.

When I made unloving choices, and I’ve made a few, I struggled and judged myself harshly. I had high expectations of myself and would strive for perfection, even though it was impossible to achieve. I held in my imagination the way I thought people or things should be and, when it went wrong, I would become very frustrated.

When I turned on the TV to watch the news I would sometimes shed a tear, and would need to turn it off because I did not like or want to see what was truly happening in the world. I so longed for people to be loving, harmonious, respectful and fair; I couldn’t accept that it would not always be like this and that this was just part of life here on earth.

I know I have been judgmental of others too and I could hold onto my label of them for years. I remember in one instance, when I felt brushed off by a lady who I really did not know, I judged her as a snob. Every time I saw her or thought about her, I remembered her as ‘the snob’. Then one day, a few years later, our paths crossed and in that moment all I could feel was how lovely this person really was. She was a very tender woman and I wondered what was really going on at the time I made the initial judgment.

I have also been the receiver of negative judgment from another. It hurt that another person would come to a negative conclusion about me, overriding all the really lovely things that I felt I offered the world. I couldn’t understand why someone used a particular incident, or my unloving choices, as evidence to support the label that they put on me. What pleasure was there in focusing on these mistakes?

I began to wonder how many people walk around burdened because of their poor choices, unable to move on.

  • Do people addicted to drugs have to carry around the label ‘druggie’ forever?
  • Is a person who has committed a crime always going to be a ‘crim’?
  • Are those who react emotionally going to live with the tag of ‘unstable’ or ‘fruit-loop’?
  • When people move from job to job regularly, do they deserve to be judged as ‘unreliable’?
  • If someone were deeply depressed would they be spoken about as being ‘dark’ for the rest of their lives?

 I have personally carried the burdens of judgment for so long and the only thing it achieved was to adversely affect my sense of worth, continuing a cycle of further criticism and disappointment. No matter how I had changed my life, these labels stuck like glue and many I accepted as true or even put onto myself.

Indeed, we all need to be free of these labels so we can return to live from the essence of who we really are, for we are more than our behaviour and unloving choices.

It was only by coming to Universal Medicine and learning about self-care and self-love and being more responsible for my choices that I began to experience true change in my body, and slowly this judging cycle started to lose its power.

The more I dropped away the protective shield and let people into my heart, the more I allowed myself to be naturally tender, delicate and sensitive, I felt how natural it was to bring understanding and acceptance to myself and the situations of the past and begin to allow the world to be, just as it is.

What was transformational was that the love I was now feeling in my body was bigger than these judgments, for they were just no longer true.

As I have come to know myself in my own unfolding path, there is absolutely every possibility that we can change and live more of our true qualities and potential; a more loving way that enhances from one day to the next.

Just recently I made a wise decision to give myself a clean slate and start anew – to start from today and to know that I am divine and I am returning to that, simply learning to let go of hurts and patterns of behavior that are not divine in expression.

Really seeing myself as I present today, in this moment, is all that is needed

There is no need to imprison myself in serving a life sentence for something that happened years ago, something that might be trivial to another but made to be a mountain for me. It feels so much more joyful to free myself of these judgments and instead bring loving understanding and acceptance to my day to day life.

I am becoming much more allowing of mistakes and imperfections because I now feel how they are not me, they are not the person, but they are still a part of life.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Maree Savins, Engineering Project Officer, Tertiary Education, Australia

Further Reading:
Accepting Your Divinity
From Self-development to Unfolding into my True Self – Inspired by Serge Benhayon

1,081 thoughts on “Imprisoned by Judgment: Understanding & Accepting Life Just as It Is

  1. I feel that if we judge other people it is because we have judged ourselves first by falling short of the ideal, belief or picture we have of ourselves. But where are these ideals, belief or pictures coming from? From my own experience I feel they come from firstly family, school, friends and then the work place. We absorb them into who we are and then over time become someone we are not. I know I can be very hard on myself and so therefore it stands to reason that I will be hard on other people expecting them to meet my expectations in the same way others have expected me to meet their expectations and when I haven’t there’s the judgement. What would happen if we gave ourselves and each other the space to live life by our own choices because who are we to judge?

  2. This protective shield that you talk about Maree is one that I too can relate to – it is like a shield in front of the heart that only allows me to let poeple in to a certain degree and to let out a certain degree of love too. It is a limit I put upon myself and others and it is not allowing the fullness of my being to be felt and to be expressed. This is a capping that I am gradually learning to let go of, as I allow myself to just surrender more to the love that I hold as opposed to trying to control things.

  3. It can be hard to watch the news and be confronted by all that is happening in the world, however, how important is it to be in touch with all of this and hence understand how important is it how we live our lives in every day as there are people in the world suffering atrocities all of the time. How we live affects everyone and though we might be tempted to run and save others who are suffering, this may not be what is needed – perhaps what is needed is simply to refine how we live in terms of the quality of our relationships with each other, as a means to support everyone at large.

  4. It takes a bit to allow oneself to see and feel all there is to see and feel in our current world because when we allow ourselves to really see it all it is not necessarily pleasant at all.

  5. It is interesting when we relate what you have shared Maree, to a ‘rolling stone gathers no moss’ and how simple life becomes when we are not stuck in one place!

  6. Maree I totally agree with you when you say
    “How easy is it to see what we want to see, rather than what is truly there for us to feel?”
    I have spent most of my life only wanting to see what I wanted to see rather than the truth of any given situation. I wanted to gloss over what was there to be felt and read playing nice or dumb so as not to rock the boat. When actually the boat needs rocking to shake us all out of our complacent way of life.

  7. “the love I was now feeling in my body was bigger than these judgments,” When we feel the ever deepening love within our own body we feel it equally in another.

  8. Judgments against ourselves can take a while to let go of but we cannot be free until they are released…absolutely ….treating ourselves with increasing love, care, honour and respect paves the way for this to unfold.

  9. I lived with judgment and guilt for a long time, I was trapped in this pattern and it felt like there was no way out of it. Thankfully I began to attend Universal Medicine presentations and began to learn simple self-love and self-care techniques that changed this for me over time.

  10. What ever I have done, I deserve to love, and to be loved. That is my motto. Because boy o boy have I been running on guilt, so much that it is still ingrained in my body. That I will clear.

  11. ‘Just recently I made a wise decision to give myself a clean slate and start anew – to start from today and to know that I am divine and I am returning to that, simply learning to let go of hurts and patterns of behavior that are not divine in expression.’ This is exactly how I feel today. Since awakening this morning I have kept an ever watchful yet loving eye on myself and I love how I am making choices that honour and support myself.

    1. Yes Matilda, likewise I too am inspired to chip away at judgement and let it go – and like most changes it is an incremental process.

  12. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning, thanks Maree – ‘There is no need to imprison myself in serving a life sentence for something that happened years ago’. I love your sense of a clean slate, and holding yourself with a loving regard as you would do with another.

  13. It is true we burden ourselves with judgement and carry it around with us berating ourselves at every opportunity when all we have to do is see that each choice is also a lesson for us to learn and move on and serves no purpose other than keep us stuck in old patterns for years if not life times.

  14. How easy it is to judge ourselves and how harmful and deeply disturbing this can be. I can feel there are still pockets in my body that are holding discomfort about the way I have been and choices I have made. Gradually as I allow myself support from counsellors and body workers these are being cleared and there is more room for acceptance love and appreciation.

  15. The prison catalog is wide and long. Prisons come in different colours and shapes. The materials we use to build them also vary. To keep doing their job properly, the catalog warns us, prisons also require high maintenance.

    1. Ha Ha well said Eduardo – the prisons we create are of our own making and they do require huge maintenance! How exposing is this!?

  16. Being pinned to the wall by judgements is a killer and pinning others to the same wall is equally dire. We have no room to communicate in truth when weighed down by such burdens. Of course they come from our hurts – but need we hang on to them so long?

  17. I don’t know what has changed but I read this from a new body today, a willingness to have a fresh awareness. What if we have this potential all the time but because we hold on to the need to know things and be able to recall them, we miss out on the fresh perspective our bodies can offer us through what we receive?

  18. This article makes a great point that not only do we harm others with judgment, but it keeps us in guilt that we have behaved in this way, so we don’t feel we deserve to have great things in our life. As with all energy what we put out comes back and can continue a loop of harm for all.

  19. Getting caught in regret and guilt and judgment is like we are agreeing and accepting that this reality of ours we are acting out is the only truth, and that we own our thoughts. I know how trapping that is very well. It’s like we freeze ourselves in time while everything else in the Universe continues to move and expand. Allowing mistakes and imperfection becomes easier when I am more connected with the truth of who we all are, rather than the illusionary image of so-called reality.

  20. These were the words I needed to read this morning
    “There is no need to imprison myself in serving a life sentence for something that happened years ago, something that might be trivial to another but made to be a mountain for me.”
    I have had it stuck in my mind that I was unworthy of God’s love because of past failings and this has been a self-made imprisonment I have come to realise it’s a complete illusion or lie. We live in the body of God, he does not love some people more than others, there is no chosen race of Human – beings we are all the same and we are all loved equally. The difference is that some people can feel that beholding love and some people like me cannot but it doesn’t mean to say it is not there waiting to be tapped into.

  21. This blog beautifully explores how we can get stuck in the same groove, keeping ourselves held to ransom by a past behaviour or event. As the writer has shared, guilt plays a big part in this and acts as judge and jury, imprisoning you within your own body. The process of letting go of those self-judgments, accepting yourself and understanding that ’everything is energy’ is very healing and restoring of the true you.

  22. It is true, the more I let go of the protection and hardness within my body, the more sensitive to abuse and delicate I am becoming. When attack of some sort comes my way it is not for I to contract and go into my shell but to see it for what it is. To observe and not take it personally, I then do not take the energy into my body.

  23. Going back to re-play an old judgement shows us how hard it is for us to let go and be harsh with ourselves. The memory of the embarrassment or so-called mistake feels as real today as it did many years ago and can still be affecting our bodies if we do not let it go. Re-enacting those moments of feeling foolish only go on to reinforce the self-judgement and are a way to abuse ourselves.

  24. If we removed all guilt and judgement of our choices and another’s choices I reckon we would massively accelerate our capacity to learn and grow and develop. When we make mistakes or fall down I find it’s not so much the actual event or problem but after that I give myself such a hard time rather than embracing it as an opportunity to learn.

      1. “Excuse” is a great word to put in the mix, and you are correct in that ultimately we use it as an excuse to not step up and step on.

  25. When we choose to disconnect from ourselves, we imprison ourselves from knowing the love we are in essence so that we accept the falseness of images and behaviours and everything outside us that we end up disregarding and harming our body in seeking love everywhere else but within.

    1. Disconnecting from our bodies is disconnecting from our essence, that wouldn’t be a problem if we didn’t then spend our entire time searching for ease in our body, looking at coping mechanisms and lifestyle choices that dull or distract from the constant ill-ease. Yet the stillness and ease that is found in our essence and that we are searching for never went anywhere but waits patiently for our re-connection with our body.

  26. It’s great that you point out the connection between regret and self worth, or lack of it. As women this is something that effects us much more than we might like to recognise. Sometimes there is a situation that we do not feel complete about and by writing about it or finding some way to express how we feel can be very healing.

  27. Thos blog is so refreshing Maree, we can hold things against ourselves for such an incredibly long time. I’ve been experimenting with trying to approach every day as a new fresh day, and trying not to lace it with yesterday’s mistakes or problems, but looking at it as a fresh platform to learn from. It allows me to be much more fresh with others too, which makes sense as what we do to ourselves we can’t help but do to someone else.

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