735 thoughts on “Seeking Connection in Techno Parties”

1. You ask the question Luz Helena Hincapié,
   ‘How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?’
   I had no idea there was such a thing as an ‘inner heart’ until I attended the presentations of Serge Benhayon and since that time I have been on a path of rediscovery of my true self. That there is indeed an inner heart that we all have and share and once felt and connected to brings a desire to cherish what is felt so that this gorgeous feeling that is within us all takes precedence over anything else. Nothing is more important than this connection because this is our reconnection back to the universe once this is felt there is no need for drugs, alcohol or any form of distraction because the universe fills us with everything we have always wanted: an intimacy or at-one-ment with God.

2. As I read this blog, I shuddered at the times I used to go to the pubs, to have late nights sometimes even till the birds were tweeting in the morning. I wasn’t the biggest fan of techno parties, the music did my head in. I could not stand loud parties/noise. The thing that kept me going was the alcohol, I wasn’t the drug person, but to be honest, it was no different.

   I totally understand people searching for that something, that connectivity that is long lasting and yet these environments are all a stimulation.

   Thank God I moved away from this and it became very apparent what was missing when I met Serge Benhayon. I don’t need to go to parties anymore to connect, everything I need is within me. It is far from perfect but boy oh boy is my life so much different to how it used to be back then.

   There is enough stimulation in life and for us is to live without attending techno parties. When we have that connection with ourselves first, we can only but be that reflection to others that their connection to themselves, is the key to whatever is missing in their lives.

3. The technicoloured noisy stimulation of the clubbing scene keeps us unaware of the natural joy of our inner stillness.

   1. I agree Mary, if we really think about it, the stimulation is everywhere, even when we go to the local supermarkets. We get a hit on just eating something that we consider yummy, when its only short lived. What an awakening when we have that realisation.

4. So simple when we know how ‘To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’

5. I used to go out till the birds were tweeting in the morning, it was ludicrous. I pondered on the reasons why I did these late nights, and mainly it was because I wanted to feel good, and that feeling could remain with me for as long as possible. What an illusion as nothing false is sustainable, as well thinking I am going to meet the love of my life either. I recall one place where these techno lights, drinks and dancing were taking place and I couldn’t wait to get out of the place. It felt the opposite of wanting to connect to or with anyone, with all that loud music, my poor sensitive ears could not cope with it and the thought of drugs, scared the living daylights out of me.

   For me connection begins with oneself first before it connects with others and it doesn’t have to be at any wham bam party either. I was at a celebration of owners living in our building, and I invited them, and it was so beautiful to feel everyone and their qualities. No music, no techno lights, except LED lights on the ceiling of our home, and delicious home cooked food, now that’s my kind of celebration and true connection…

6. Each generation seams to learn how to seemingly party harder and thus the distracts become prolific and finding we can maintain our life and not be on the usual rollercoaster offered in our social scene is amazing so thank you for sharing Luz, that we can be Loving in so many ways, as most have fallen into this excitement trap of some sort of clubbing.

7. When we take away the devices that kept us ‘hooked’, it is easier to see the reality of what we are participating in. In this situation it was taking away the ‘loosening up’ strategies of drugs and alcohol; once these were gone, it was easier to see the hooking nature of the music, the cycle of manipulation the DJ was offering the crowd to feel his version of connection yet with no real connection at all because the moment the stimulus was removed the emptiness returned.

   1. Lucy that ‘hooking’ is the key to keeping us separated from us, and it is everywhere around us. From the retail industry, the food industry, and it goes on to the holiday industry too, it is there more then we realise.

      If it leads us to euphoria and manipulation to being the opposite to who we truly are, then it is hooking, it is that simple…

      1. We have engineered so many hooking devices to keep us enthralled like Moths around a street lamp. While we are totally enthralled or hooked we have given away our right to know God and all the glory that goes with this union. We have set the hooks up in such a way that we are actually willing to destroy ourselves rather than reunite back to God. Have we ever stopped to consider what we are all running away from and who or what is behind the hooking devices encouraging us to be so wayward?

8. There is no true connection on the outside. The only true connection comes from within first and foremost. So if we feel lost or disillusioned the answers will not be found outside of ourselves. And yet our society is set up to sell us distraction after distraction and this refines itself and becomes even more sophisticated than every before. It is a tricky field that we navigate in and gradually learn to discern the distractions for what they are.

9. Luz, some gorgeous sharings and honesty that you have revealed in your blog. The level of distraction that abounds in our world as a means to pull us away from ourselves is phenomenal. And yet when we develop the relationship with self, it has its own steadiness and holding that it offers consistently so whenever we choose to re-connect.

   1. Yes, the level of distraction and the false hope of connection through those distractions is fleeting and keeps us hooked into searching for more and a fear of stepping away because we have forgotten the relationship with ourselves that is there, consistent and steady, whenever we choose to re-connect.

10. If we all were taught to honour and appreciate our own divinity from young, I am sure our experiences throughout life would be more loving and true.

    1. That would be amazing for people to be taught from day one to honour and appreciate their divinity, what a different world we would then live in.

11. “Why not play it big, instead of partying big” – When I used to party (a lot) I’m sure the intention was frequently to lose myself, or to release the pressure of all the rules and expectations that occur in the day – and to be as crazy as possible. I love your words because when we play it big, when we give life 100 percent we actually don’t have this need to party or seek relief or escape what we’re feeling – because it feels so freaking awesome.

    1. Live who we are in essence, from our divine inner-most, ‘ Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?’

    2. From what you are saying Meg then partying big to release the pressure that is felt in life is no different to cutting oneself to relieve the pressure, it is just another way of releasing the tension of life that we all feel that becomes overwhelming. Have we ever stopped to look behind the curtain to discover what the pressure really is? Could it be as simple as feeling the loss of our connection to God and the Universe?

12. “I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” The truth is so much more amazing than the illusion of the bright lights of clubbing.

13. We all crave true connection with one another yet we set ourselves up to be completely disconnected not only from one another but ourselves too.

14. “I felt how much we really crave excitement and togetherness, and the whole set up can make us believe this is what we get”. I still recall my nightclub experiences and the desire to feel the love I naturally have for all people but hide away in everyday life. It is all false and grim when you look at it in the light of day but it shows me how lacking this feeling of connection generally is in our lives.

    1. Looking at nightclub experiences in the light of day, it is all false and grim, ‘It all felt like a huge feast of disregard, illusion and glamour, and actually was not that glamorous after all; pretty ugly in many corners and disheartening in many ways.’

15. “my search would just end if I was to simply return to my true nature inside.“ All the fears and loneliness and seeking connection that plays out in thousands of ways all cease by connecting to ourselves. I feel like I need this reminder following me everywhere at the moment as I expose more of those seeking behaviours in my life.

16. It is deeply disturbing the lengths youngsters and others will go to in order to have a good time, not only dangerous but in some cases fatal, have we really got to the point where we have to be completely out of it to supposedly enjoy ourselves with our friends, would a true friend not just say let’s find another way to have fun without risking our lives or jeopardising our future.

    1. Yes, true, someone without the addiction to adrenaline and dopamine would say that, but that is where the marketing of ‘fun’ and ‘fear’ work so well, they make you feel that staring at danger is a good thing and will stop you feeling afraid. It gets you into a special club and ensures you question whether you want to walk away from it because of what you perceive as the very real risk of losing who you feel are the only friends who don’t judge you for what you are doing.

17. It is great to truly observe ourselves and be honest about what we do/did or use(d) to not feel what we actually feel inside. And also feel the consequences of our choices. Everything we do that harms our body brings us further away from feeling our own loveliness and our connection to the universe.

18. It seems an extreme version of bonding that we have to go to, and I wonder much more extreme this will become as technological advancements are hurtling us all towards lifestyles that have the potential for an even greater lack of connection with eachother, even though the media that it uses touts the opposite.

    1. It is an extreme version of attempting to bond, ‘I could feel there was actually a high level of separation, jealousy, anxiousness, self-consciousness and looking for the ‘right one’ going on, all confirming our separated state and creating an oscillation between attraction and repulsion to others while seeking to keep up the good vibe.’

19. Extraordinary to read about how sophisticated the techno scene is… If you’ll excuse the obvious connection… But the sophistication is in how much work goes into creating such an intense distraction… And of course it is only there as long as you are there… When you leave you are always left with yourself

    1. Beautifully said Cjames – and when we are left with ourselves in the end, we are also left with how much we have nurtured and supported the true connection with self OR left with the neglect of the relationship with self. Regardless of which we encounter, it is another offering to deepen the true connection – for this offering never goes away.

20. I believe it’s because we know deep within that we in fact live in a loveless society that we crave distractions in whatever form they come as a relief to the tension we feel in our bodies. Whatever the distraction, it is always going to be temporary because the tension we feel is the tension that we are not supposed to be here on this plane of life at all. The unease will always be there when the body is not in harmony with itself it develops a vibrational discord in our bodies and that is the tension we can feel.

21. “Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?” A very beautiful piece of advice and invitation that should become our guiding light when growing up and beyond.

22. There are some really simple questions, like how are we supposed to hear our inner voice with the music turned up so loud! Or to connect with someone deeply when dancing with a room full of strangers. But perhaps the most telling is how can you meet another, if you are so off your head that you have no idea who you are in that moment (and if you are ‘not your self’ and under the influence… then who are you and what are you channeling?

23. If we call things by its real name and say that partying is a pure act of relief or escape from life, we may proceed to ask more questions as to why this is needed. If we call it party instead, we have a license to abuse ourselves.

    1. Yes, beautifully exposed, and there are many things we do that in life with, just give it a fancy name and we got to like it and it must be good for us.

       1. Absolutely, don’t call it for what it actually is and you can convince yourself it is ‘normal’ or enjoyable and you can keep doing it.

       2. And that is the tragic part, we are so blinded by what is new and in and different, that we do not see anymore what it really does to us.

24. You describe here the state of our being so well – how we are needing stimulation and numbing devices to simply exist in this world we created, and how we stubbornly refuse to see our choice to become separate in the first place only to continue what appears like an innocent seeking but in truth only is an attempt to buy time.

25. Getting a “connection fix” by partying and hitting the clubs doesn’t really last. Its a shallow example of what we all really crave, to be seen, met and loved.

    1. Heather to be seen, met and loved are all words that describe intimacy and this is actually what we lack, intimacy with ourselves and when we have this, then we are naturally at one with God.

26. A maths moment occurred to me just now. I have felt a fear of playing it big in the face of the ugliness. But in years gone by I used to play a lot of video games, completely hooked. Two years ago I went to a gaming convention and felt it from now looking at it while not being in that scene but understanding why people where there under the false beliefs of connection, fun etc. When I feel something I am in and start to hate how it feels and remove myself is when I can stand in the face of such without fear. I only fear/hesitate playing big when I am still in or contributing to the ugliness. And thats cool to get this understanding.

27. I love this piece of wisdom Brendan.

28. When I look back at the many years I wasted with partying and drinking, if only this time had been used to deepen the quality of my love and connection with others I would have experienced something far more precious and beautiful than the illusion I had settled for.

29. “It is not surprising that we are more willing to experiment with a spiral of ups and downs in order to escape from how loveless the world feels” – I appreciated feeling the understanding that this sentence provided, and it also explained why I have gone to stimulating drinks and foods in order to not feel the harshness and abuse relationships that are all too common, for now.

30. Count me in on that one Doug; I’ve never been very good with thumping repetitive music and flashing lights. The techno scene makes the discos of the 70’s look quite tame, but it does highlight how things have escalated.

31. Whilst on the surface these event may seem great, I know that as I have attended many over my lifetime. But are they really that good for us? If we check in with our bodies after the event, the answer is very clear. I recall days afterwards I would still be tired and trying to catch up, my body would be sore and I would isolate myself for a few days. Doesn’t seem like a good recipe for connection does it?

32. It is so easy to fall for the many trends in this world and follow one by the other, but it is chasing an illusion of happiness, while true contentment does not come with anything we achieve or participate in but by knowing who we truly are and thus being able to live it every day more.

33. It’s amazing that it is seen as a loss by some if we don’t mis-spend our youth. As if the hedonistic, self abusive way of life followed by so many teenagers and young adults, not to mention older ones too, is considered a right of passage which if not done means we haven’t lived.

    1. Yes, such a great point you are making here Lucy, we fall for the belief that we need to experience as much as possible and think that we can shrug of things and place them in the past, but in that we completely ignore that every move we do contributes to our next and that it is never just about what we do but always about the quality we choose to do things in. The richness of life does not lie in the multitude of experience but the awareness we allow ourselves to have and the response to this awareness.

       1. “The richness of life does not lie in the multitude of experience but the awareness we allow ourselves to have and the response to this awareness.” Words straight from Heaven.

    2. That way of living impacts us as we age, such a ‘Live fast, die young’ lifestyle has a very narrow view of consequences and the effect it has on all around the person.

34. The flashing lights of the party scene are all very alluring and enticing but they do blind you to the hooks of the booze and drug scene that creates a false bravado or facade while it deceptively disconnects you from your inner qualities and essence, and thus your potential.

    1. I really like this observation Suse.. how we dress things up so they look so good, fun and exciting but what is lurking underneath all of that? The sex, drugs, drinking and general behaviour in clubs… somewhere befitting of the biblical Sodom and Gomorrah, and yet in todays’ society they are championed and promoted. We live in interesting times.

35. A very true real sharing Luz – well expressed and detailed. “When inside the club, I remembered how it always felt impossible to survive these parties without drugs or alcohol.” Attending these parties you are signing up to stimulating pictures that become a somewhat reality. There is no honouring of how you truly feel and the satisfaction becomes whatever it is you need. Instead we could (by not attending these parties) — “Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?” Expanding the love within is discarding the falsities of what we expect or think we need.

36. Luz it is an amazing contrast you have provided here between the false way we may attempt to connect and feel bonded in community at techno parties, and the true way we feel connection, love and community as experienced within the student body of Universal Medicine with those who are living from their soul. The truth is we do know what life can feel like in this true connection otherwise we wouldn’t be seeking it even in false ways. It is a natural part of our way of being.

37. “to escape from how loveless the world feels.” In trying to escape the lovelessness of the world we are trying to escape the lovelessness in ourselves. When we reconnect to our inner essence we feel the love that we already are and a love that is the essence of us all.

38. I remember clubbing and parties and how empty it felt. It’s an interesting concept that it is a room full of people wanting to connect and share but who are extremely disconnected or only able to connect with the “help” of drugs and alcohol. When they wear off you are left to feel the emptiness again.

39. The massive amount of people that go dancing during weekends with the hope to connect to someone of their like is a reflection of the fact that by-and-large, we have no lived experiences of what connecting in a true way is all about. We get socialized into ways of connecting that do not really bring connection.

    1. Great point Eduardo and social media can be another one of those false connection scenarios.

40. What a great experience Luz! An opportunity to go back to and see what you once considered your normal for what it truly is.

41. A rave or a night out has always been one that is depicted as the ultimate experiences but sooner or later one becomes fully aware that what we are searching for can only be filled so far by another substance but it is the connection and inner essence that we are looking for.

42. Just like techno parties we find many other alternatives for distraction in our lives that are just as overwhelming. The real opportunity we have from these situations is that we can learn, grow and appreciate so much more of how our bodies feel and work and how our movements and choices inevitable shape our lives thereafter.

43. ‘I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’ And in building a true connection with yourself the possibility of true connections with others are opened up.

44. I agree, looking back these clubs were a distraction away from our true self, how great that you have now chosen to love, appreciate, accept, and take care of yourself, and are now benefiting from these choices, ‘What I didn´t expect was that these would have such a huge impact, and that would unleash a very profound change in the relationship to myself, others and life in general.’

45. It is interesting to stand back and just observe what is going on as you did in the above situation, ‘I could feel there was actually a high level of separation, jealousy, anxiousness, self-consciousness and looking for the ‘right one’ going on, all confirming our separated state and creating an oscillation between attraction and repulsion to others while seeking to keep up the good vibe.’

46. The search for connection is always there and becomes a hormonal need in teenage years as the pull to enjoin rather than remain true to yourself takes hold. SO been there and done that!

47. I love the words “Play it Big” rather than “Party it Big”. This one will definitely go on my words to ponder on list.

48. It is great to look back at the things that once fooled us, and now know and feel the falseness in them; and that they are no longer needed now we have true connection.

49. “How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?” One day this will be taught in schools, but until then those who know and live this truth can role model it and reflect it out to everyone they meet.

50. I remember going to parties and clubs as a youngster. There was always a huge expectation that a good time was going to be had, but it often fell short. Maybe that’s why there was always so much drinking – to drown the sorrow and feeling of emptiness.

    1. Yes the illusion that partying is great fun is simply that – an illusion. One can feel very lonely in a crowd where everyone looks as if they are having a great time. The come down afterwards if you did have a good time was horrible – only leading to the desire for the next high. Like living on a roller coaster of emotions……… Not a good way to live – and exhausting!

51. I used to think I loved going out clubbing and reading your sharing this morning I so realise it was not true to say that. This is a great exposé. There is a pull for connection, for all of us to come together, and sporting or music events are another example I can think of where we get attracted to the excitement and elation experienced as a group as a substitute for true connection that we are deeply missing.

52. I used to really love raves and in my early 20s was very worried that one day I would be too old to go to them. I loved the attention I got from dancing and connecting with people. But actually they were places that I felt so so lost in especially around the drug taking. I so preferred the highs and lows to the dullness that was my life. So appreciate meeting Serge Benhayon and all those who reflect another way of living that is showing us we can connect and be love with one another, and that this is a natural impulse, it was just the ways I used attempt to be close with others drew me further away from knowing the beauty of who I am and seeing this in all others.

    1. Well said Karin, there is no question for me of the gift having such a consistent reflection of being yourself in our lives is. It is a game changer for a lifetimes worth of dysfunctional coping mechanisms.

53. It’s ironic that we go to these places to have fun and meet people and what we are actually doing is destroying our body and meeting altered states of consciousness where no one is truly at home and we often feel wasted afterwards.

54. This is a great question – “how different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?” What is required is to connect to the inner-heart and live life from that place and then people observe that there is a different way of living. The world actually needs to see the reflection of living from the inner-heart, and then people have a choice.

55. Thanks Luz… I had the opportunity to talk to a DJ on a flight overseas once recently. It was extraordinarily illuminating… I had no idea of the very intense and deliberate manipulation that was there in every track in every bit of music all designed to, as you say ring the very last bit of emotion possible out of the audience

56. I love what you have exposed here Luz, such an interesting insight into ‘another world’ of disconnect and disregard. What you have expressed here is so beautiful and inspiring;
    “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’

57. I used to listen to all sorts of music, now I honour my sensitivity and my true feelings by now only listening to music that I know supports and inspires me.

58. It’s like there’s this illusion that connection is something elusive or that we need to zone out in order to feel it (which isn’t really connection anyway, more the opposite…) rather than being raised to be connected with who we truly are as the norm and being supported to share this connection with everyone we meet; so it is normal and a foundational part of everyday life rather than something elusive we seek.

59. I absolutely loved reading this and can relate to so much of it. This following paragraph sums up the feelings i had for so many years before coming to Universal Medicine and starting to live the Way of the Livingness. I felt an emptiness and dissatisfaction with life and found it easy to condemn others – all in judgement – and yet what it has all come back to is that my feelings about life and myself are down to the choices I make and nothing else. If I live self-lovingly and self-appreciatively I will brings this with me wherever I go. “It is not about condemning the party, the DJs, the technologies or our right to have fun, but about feeling the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others – that we believe these experiences are natural, true fun and a great way to feel connected to life and people.”

60. Yes Helena, it is the reflections that come into our lives that give us the opportunity to discern if we are embracing who we are and our purpose in life. “we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others” The restlessness and the tension that comes from that is the foghorn from our body that we are not honouring who we are. The body is such a wonderful marker of truth – it never let’s us down, we let it down.

    1. Beautifully said Lucy “The body is such a wonderful marker of truth – it never lets us down, we let it down. Habits of a lifetime can be changed and we can restore a feeling of connection and love for ourselves that we had previously all but given up on. Allowing ourselves to feel what is going on in our bodies and becoming a lot more gentle with ourselves is a great start.

61. ‘To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’ Well said Luz , it all comes back to us.

62. Funny enough I just walked past a pub and it’s 5pm on a Friday night and I could see all these people drinking and chatting and knowing they all want connection. That’s what we all want but some places will support that more than others. What I find fascinating is that connection through dance and drugs including alcohol is considered so normal and it flies in the face of the facts that energetically things are quite a different matter. Because we want to connect we are willing to override the hang overs ~ whether you drink or not – due to the energy that comes with music etc. It’s that desire for oneness gone astray.

63. “It is a normalised way of going through life and we rarely get to hear about the grandness and wealth that lies within each one of us” our illusion of what is ‘fun’ is such a massive loss to us all, we accept this version of ‘fun’ because we are not shown how it is to live with true fun and joy. Thank god for Serge Benhayon and for seeing with my own eyes a family that live this in every moment.

64. A great account of what we can choose to distract or escape and in doing so what we can deny. It is great to look back and see the things that once fooled us and know and feel that they are no longer needed when true connection is embraced.

65. Looking for Love in all the wrong places! As a teenager I tried to fit into the ‘party scene ‘ to be a part of ‘social life’ but it all felt meaningless and as hard as I tried I could not be that. I used to think that there was something wrong with me – but now I know that it didn’t correspond with me because there was not an ounce of connection or true relationship in any of it.

    1. I also Jenny. Always found it difficult though because it highlighted the emptiness I would feel when I was looking in all the wrong places, be it with a relationship or a night club.

66. A great expose Luz on a society where avoidance, numbing, separation and false connection is the norm, sadly so. I love your honest, awareness and commitment to yourself and humanity

67. The verb party comes from the noun party and this comes from the Old French partie “side, part; portion, share; separation, division”. This is a word that comes loaded with separation and is an activity that fosters separation.

68. When you get caught up in the throes and emotions of an experience you are in so many ways blinded to what is actually going on. But when you step back and observe yourself and the world around you our clarity and understanding of exactly the same scenario is so much sharper.

    1. That is so true Suse, that ability to step back and observe detaches us from the hooks. It is a practice to be nurtured and valued for the gold it offers us.

69. This brings back memories of how in my late teens/early twenties I got miserable when I had to drive my friends. I lived in the countryside so if we wanted to go out and drink it meant one of us had to drive. It was the norm to feel this way, moody and sometimes some would do their best not to drive at all. It never occurred to be back then that the need for alcohol to enjoy myself was a reflection of the relationship I had with myself, not good I have to say but it was covered and masked with the expectation of drinking alcohol. Sometimes it wasn’t a good night even if I had drank alcohol and I was left feeling down and flat, worse than I was feeling before I went out. Meeting Serge Benhayon in his reflection presented moments where I got to experience for myself what it was like to feel true connection to myself and to others then it was my responsibility to live it to the best of my ability. I have been given tools so that when I do feel sad and heavy I can come back to myself. It is a commitment to self.

70. It’s funny the lengths we go to to try and connect. We go out of our way to be with one another only to consume substances which take us away from ourselves and leave us feeling like if we let our guards down we’ll really connect with people. It seems an awful waste of time, money and energy when we’re always a breath away from connecting.

71. Today’s rave scenes have an intensity and aggressiveness that has intensified over the years. No different to the porn industry, to the rise in extreme behaviours around drug abuse, tattoos, and so much more. In a desperate attempt to attain what was once thrown away or dismissed, we tend to seek the substitute that is not the real thing… Take an ecstasy pill to get a semblance of the multidimensionality you actually belong to, but without you actually being in connection to yourself or to anyone else, during that time and therefore even further away from the truth you actually seek.
    There is a longing for brotherhood in these rave scenes, and not an ounce of brotherhood to be actually felt.

72. The illusion that all the distractions of bright lights, alcohol, drugs and loud music will bring a connection to others is beautifully exposed in this blog.

73. To read such a delightfully honest even blunt anecdote about the dance/DJ scene is refreshing… and unusual, as for most people these events are the highlight of their life.

74. Wow, a treasure trove of insights from an insider who used to attend techno parties.They might seem extreme and right on the edge for those who haven’t ever been, like myself, but in truth we are all looking for the one and same thing – true connection. But it can’t be found outside of us and we need to start within first. Great summary when you write “I used to be shadowed by ideals, stereotypes and chemicals obscuring my true light” – says it all, really.

75. There is so much seeking and searching involved when we want to spend time in techno parties, I know from my experience that you don’t ever find solace, comfort or love from such parties. Only the ability to separate from yourself, to look outside or oneself for excitement, attention and recognition. Never connection, support and self care.

76. Music for me was an escape of huge proportions – I could listen to any song and remember lyrics, artist, track number, breaks, drum patterns, chords etc etc. It was a constant mental block out. Add to that the need to stay isolated and protected but seemingly be part of a gathering where ‘everyone was smiling and in on the same secret’ well that was the biggest hook of all. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. We didn’t love each other – we were off our faces and couldn’t see straight let lone appreciate another, communicate deeply with another and know that this person in a few hours would actually remember who I was and me of them. It was and still remains a perfect setup – disaffected youth gather together in rebellion toward the unloving society they dwell in – whilst further isolating them selves from that society and each other. Very sad and deeply worrying that drugs are still a place where many seek solace.

77. I recall when I was into all the dance scene when I lived in London, UK. I was so desperate for connection that I thought I could get it each weekend with a few hundred people, who largely were always off on drugs or drinking. Crazy when I think about it now, just how lost I was and was choosing such abuse for myself. Life is very different now, living in a way that is very much about connection, with myself and fostering that connection with all whom I come into contact with.

78. A lot of people walk around semi-permanently with headphones on pumping themselves full of music. I wonder if they have any idea what they are putting into their bodies. This great little article and audio gives an insight: http://www.unimedliving.com/voice/whats-on-in-the-world/international-music-day-2016.html

79. I enjoy reading how you don’t hold regret or judgement on the choices you have made or see others making but rather bring your understanding and reading on the situation that plays out. It is amazing all of the lengths that we will go to to deny the real connection that we have within us when we simply begin to explore it and the absolute solidarity that is possible when we bring this to another whether they are exploring their own connection or not. The world is full of possibilities and opens up more and more to a love of ourselves and of life when we begin to seek inside and not outside for the answers to the pain that we can feel.

80. Great blog Luz, we can all kid ourselves that we have a great connection with people at parties, but do we really when we are topped up with alcohol or drugs, because our awareness completely disappears.

    1. Spot on Sally, I recall when I used to party and club alot the communication with others dropped considerably after about two drinks, there was no true connection with others as the alcohol and drugs started to kick in.

81. Hi Luz, I can appreciate revisiting the past in order to appreciate the how far we have all come since Universal Medicine

82. Your blog is brilliant Luz, it is so relatable, honest and exposing. It is interesting to reflect my experience of these parties, they were void of love, connection and fun, but I continued to attend them for years because this was what all of my friends did at the time. It was what everyone around us did for fun, we didn’t know there was another way. So, I wonder what it would look like if teenagers and young adults are shown how to have fun and connect with people without being under the influence of heavy music, alcohol and drugs. It would look like a day of celebration at Universal Medicine, where people gather to truly connect, share and express who they are. If we are able to experience this level of deep connection and love at Universal Medicine events, this means we are surely to be able to bring this to our wider community and show our young adults that there is another way and another option to party and have fun. Free of alcohol, drugs, heavy emotional music and drama, instead we can choose to gather together to experience true connection, allowing each other to be who we are and connect in a more meaningful way.

83. Such an amazing and honest blog! The power of of this is absolutely mindblowing. With every word I could relate to myself in that stage of my life, experimenting with drugs, relationships, and everything else around me, instead of looking for what’s inside of me!

84. I simply adore all that you write Luz, thank you. It is alarming how we so willingly feast on evil (all that is not of the love that we are) under the guise of connection. This shows us that in essence we truly do want to re-connect with each other, for it is what we are designed to do, but there lays many traps along the way to lure us off course and before we are even aware we are gorging at a banquet that seeks to keep us in a blinded stupor as to what is truly going on.

    “How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?”

    This is the truth that evil seeks to mask.

85. There is an image most of us play ball with: weekends are to be extra-ordinary moments; moments when we do different things that make us feel alive. We hardly stop and ponder on the fact that going out of our way to have fun is only a natural consequence of being out of our (true) way anyway.

86. How true it is Luz, we put so much effort ,exhausting ourselves, into finding connection with others by looking outwards in so many directions, I certainly have done this , when all along the connection comes from our inner heart and from a connection with ourselves first.

87. Great description Luz of choosing honesty, acceptance and self-care as the way to come back to knowing your inner qualities again. It’s empowering to actually feel that we can know ourselves on a deeper level, by choosing to be more honest, aware, and loving of ourselves: no power of the mind needed, no expensive technologies or fixes, just the simplicity of our choices in every moment.

88. It is fascinating when we go back and experience things we used to do that we considered normal at the time and get to feel the effect on our bodies. It is also great to appreciate the changes we have made in our lives that now we actually get to feel what is going on.

89. I like the word substitute, which you used Luz, there are many things I substitute for the feelings I really want to have. We all crave love, I know I certainly do, to be seen for who we are and appreciated and accepted, it is all just in the way we choose to live that determines whether we feel this appreciation. It does of course have to come from ourselves, which is rather a good thing, as relying on another to give us acceptance feels very unfulfilling.

90. A lack of true role models I feel is what is missing here. We are slammed with images of a ‘good time’. Celebrities behaving like lunatics and glamorising being loose and out of control. It’s everywhere we turn. Family TV shows will always have the typical teenager party scenarios…further confirming that this is life.
    The entire world doesn’t know it yet, but there is another way and it’s being practiced as we speak.

91. It does feel incredibly sad how normal it is for society to accept drugs and alcohol as being almost a right of passage growing up. How many times have we heard the sentence ‘oh she/he is still young, they’ll grow out of it, it’s normal’. It’s almost a given that a teenager/twenty something will need to experiment with such substances in order to understand life. It’s crazy.

92. Great advice to play it big rather than surrogate what’s already there with ephemeral encounters, shallow attractions and momentary numbing. Why choose to exist when we have the choice to evolve?

93. Luz – your blog reminded me of all the years spent partying with friends. How I used to think those friends were close ones but really the only time I spoke to them was when I was drunk or high and so I was in the illusion of what was around me and not the reality – as were they. In fact I was very lonely even though I convinced myself that I was having a great time. But I had to build a sense of self worth before I was prepared to look at true relationships and the role alcohol played in these.

94. The irony is that we all innately crave connection with others but when we go out to such places like pubs and clubs and ingest substances like alcohol and illicit drugs that actively disconnect us from ourselves, it only further separates us from others. It’s a viscous circle indeed.

95. Just reading this blog brings up, clearly, how I used to go to places to seek connection, when truly it is available all around and within at all times. On top of seeking it, I would smoke and drink to add to the mix, just the choice to seek creates a disconnection top of alcohol and nicotine…it is no wonder I was left feeling deflated and lonely after a night out. I have been to the pub since I stopped drinking, I have been out to dinner, I have been to parties, but they are no different from my every day life now, connection is available where ever we are open to it, not because the is ‘special’ occasion.

96. I did do pubs and clubs and lots of alcohol, I sought the the same thing, connection with others, for me alongside indulgence. I thought i had these great moments of connection when I was out with friends and yet the next day I was tired and regretful. The joy and expansiveness available was not there, because it wasn’t true sustainable connection and it was laced with substances that did not support me being myself. I have parties now, because I Love having people together, still true, but there is more authentic connection now, no booze, more honesty and more openness, for me means more connection, and appreciation. Love it.

97. I used to attend a lot of these party scenes in my late teens and early twenties without consuming any alcohol or drugs so I can totally relate to how you felt. The emptiness, the feeling of separation and lack of connection was very strong but at the time I never questioned it because I convinced myself I was having fun dancing and meeting people even though I didn’t feel great afterwards. Now I understand why I felt the way I did because I never really got to truly connect with people because almost everyone I met were either drinking or on drugs, so the meetings simply felt void of any true connection. People weren’t really themselves as I observed when they were under the influences of substances such as drugs and alcohol.

98. The fact that techno dancing goes hand by hand with drugs and alcohol is not coincidence since it asks you to engage in movements that bring you to total disconnection to you. Alcohol and drugs is like the pre-anaesthesia that you get in the dentist that allows you not to feel the pain of what comes next and of what comes thereafter.

99. Choosing connection through a party, food, alcohol, drugs, relationships, work you name it there is a myriad of them which lead us no where but back to where we started from when it comes from the outside in.

100. The fact is that there are very few places that offer a real connection between people, this gives the perceived excuse that this is the best we are going to get (in this case techno parties). However, this isn’t the case because if we truly ask for a different way an invisible hand is always there to support.

101. I find it very uncomfortable re visiting past environments and choices, how lucky are we for finding Universal Medicine

102. We have a road in our city and I am sure every city has one in that it is street of wall to wall nightclubs and bars, when I used to walk down this street early morning to go to work the scene was crazy, people completely out of it, being sick, shouting, peeing. 2 x I called an ambulance as I found people just out cold. To say that this is a way to ‘enjoy’ ourselves shows a deep level of socially acceptable insanity.

103. This blog really highlights how false the so-called connection can be in these situations. Because in order to survive such an experience drugs and alcohol become a requirement if there is no sense of who we truly are. And it’s sad to consider that this is excactly what occurs in childhood, an expectation for us to alter our natural state of being in order to connect to others and fit in. By the time we are adults we believe that this sober altered state is us and then alter ourselves further with the drink and drugs and partying. But if we bring it back to the body it provides us with an honesty of how we truly feel to connect that comes from the natural essence that we are and were living as kids.

104. It is really interesting to go back to something that you are no longer engulfed by- you see it clearly for what it is and you wonder how you could never quite see through it previously. An unfoldment that doesn’t come with rose coloured glasses but a true understanding and perspective of choices of the past.

105. Wow thanks for the insight into this sort of party/techno scene, I have never been part of anything like it, so appreciated an observers view. It is indeed a reflection of just how lost we’ve become, searching desperately for something to appease the deep ache of missing our true selves. You are testimony though Luz to what can be seen and felt when we begin to re-establish that connection again, thank you for sharing.

106. I can so relate to all you share in this article. Such dance parties show how out of sync we are with with our truth. I appreciate how Luz shares SHE is the right one in her own life, she doesn’t need drugs, or ‘bonding’ or the ‘right one’ to make her life complete. Instead she connects with herself and from that commitment she is able to find a way to fulfilment that is healthy and sustaining and so truly enjoyable that these dance parties no longer have any appeal.

107. The accessibility of alcohol and recreational drugs at these parties offers young people an opportunity to let go of the burdens and pressures they are constantly imposed on and give them a sense of relief and connection but this is short lived and at the expense of their bodies for it is only by reconnecting to our true essence that we are allowed to experience our connection to the divine.

     1. The pressures and burdens you mention here Francisco continue to grow in intensity for young people, as the expectations and challenges of our educational institutions (and the fact that a college degree does not hold the importance it once did) and the competitive job market thereafter are only making it more likely for teens and young adults to find an escape through drugs and alcohol. I know that for myself, it was these pressures, and the ones I placed on myself, including a feeling of never ‘fitting in’ that lead to my own abuse of these substances for many years, until I found Universal Medicine. We need to take an honest look and appraisal at why we are creating a system of education and employment that does not ever reinforce to our youth that they have nothing to prove, are enough as they are, and if they are just themselves in full they will find where they are to work in service with ease and without difficult or complication.

     2. Beautifully said Francisco, it is absolutely amazing when we choose to reconnect to our essence. Many people are not even aware what this is so I can understand why people would be attracted to the techno scenes because I was really into them at one stage of my life. I was seeking something from these party scenes and that was, true connection. In my early twenties I realised I was seeking in the wrong place so I stopped going but now I have a deeper understand of why I would not go back to them again because they are void of love, connection or truth.

108. Connection can’t truly be found in a moment of excitement, it only can be found within ourselves. And it can be deepened trough living in every moment.

109. This blog describes the techno scene very well, with all the highs and lows associated with wanting to connect with others, but from what I have read it is so far from any true connection. I suppose my equivalent would have been the nightclubs of which I would frequent in my twenties looking for a boyfriend and the excitement of something new. Then one day I met a chap walking up the street who I had danced with several times in the club and it was the most awkward meeting ever – I felt naked without my makeup and wearing my day clothes and it just brought it home to me how un-natural the night scene in my town was. This also showed me how my behaviour changed under the influence of alcohol and the loud music, and if I am honest I never felt comfortable in the nightclub scene.

110. I have wrestled with the idea of how to stay connected to people.
     Do I go to their ground i.e. night clubs and pubs. Or do I wait for them to come to my ground?

     Neither is the answer.

     As connection is the most natural thing in the world. It doesn’t take much to connect with people and when we think we need a elaborate environment to connect with people we have already disconnected from the simple fact of the ease in which connection can be had between anyone.

111. Looking back at the time I went to night clubs in my life, around 16 years onwards, I was at a point in my life where I was very protected, shut down, and disconnected from my body, wanting to get away from living with my parents, so they were like an escape, and a checking out.

112. When I was young, still at school, I regularly went to night clubs, it was considered the cool thing to do, there was the excitement of freedom, dancing and being out with a group of friends, and this was at a regular place, so it was all very familiar. I was not into drugs or alcohol, it was more a sense of freedom, excitement and being with a group of friends. After school and college I still occasionally attended night clubs, but they stopped having the same appeal, this grew to the point where I didn’t like them at all, they felt horrible.

113. I remember going to a rave once. I was quite excited to meet new people. At the time I did not understand what was going on. There was this incredible sense of disconnection. It was like nobody was home. I learnt of course later that this was my first experience of seeing a mass group of people on ecstasy.

     1. It’s funny how we,(a society), get together to take drugs. A group of people with so much to share, who then choose the isolation and withdrawal that comes with the drugs. We are clearly wanting to connect or else we would surely just take the drugs within the confines of our own spaces?

        1. Yes Jenny, I agree, we want to connect, but not with true intimacy and until the understanding of what true connection feels like and can be, humanity will and are continuing to put up with a much much lesser form of BEing together. So by taking responsibility for my own connection to me and taking that out to my connection with others around me, I am beginning to make a difference.

114. The beauty of our own connection which interlinks all connections thereafter. Thank you Luz for sharing your experiences, deeply inspiring indeed.

115. True connection comes from living true to ourselves, connecting to our inner essence and then allowing ourselves to connect with other people’s essence.

     1. Beautifully expressed and claimed Elizabeth, I completely agree.

116. I used to hate going out at night and even more so to parties. At times I would just go so they could end and I had no idea what was going on or why it was like this for me. People had all types of names for this and so I would go, at times I would think about it and just be there and other times I would dread the existence of the night club world. As I said I had no idea of what this was about and thought at times there was something wrong with me. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon supported me to see indirectly that this part of my life was about something I was feeling but just didn’t know how to express it. When I realised what this ‘scene’ was all about truly it didn’t surprise me that I never really looked forward to it. So much we can carry on our shoulders as being something we do when if we truly see it it is about something deeper we are feeling.

117. Luz you have so hit the nail on the head in how parties like these are supposedly there to get people to connect and how the influences of the music, drugs and alcohol play their game in creating disconnection for the masses.

118. What this blog helped me to realise is that we would never go to one of these parties if we were already feeling connected as we would be aware of the effect the music, the drugs and the environment would be having on us. It would be fair to say that even though people go to these parties seeking connection, the truth is they leave completely disconnected from themselves.

119. It is crazy that we use loveless behaviour to escape from the lovelessness of the world, the very behaviour we want to avoid in the first place. This cycle of abuse will never get anyone anywhere.. only make the whole thing worse

120. Reading this blog brought up uncomfortable, nervous feelings within. The seeking for recognition and identification I once craved at parties, dances, nightclubs etc feel much less in my body but there is still some there to heal. It’s interesting to read this article this morning because I have noticed this recently and although I have some awareness as to where it is coming from I feel there is more to uncover; a process of being totally honest with myself.

121. An intriguing insight into the illusory world of the techno party and the extreme sensory manipulation we open ourselves up to through the music, the alcohol and the chemicals that together create the cocktail experience that is the hallmark of the scene. You describe a congregation of people seeking real connection but being offered pure artificiality, itself rendering a deeper sense of emptiness at the end than at the start. A startling snapshot of the scale of the need for connection within this generation and the impoverished so-called solutions we are prepared to get behind.

122. Once I attended my first Universal Medicine event presented by Serge Benhayon I knew and felt this was the most incredible wholesome, self nurturing, honest gathering. With the deepest of connection and honoring with my self and others that I have every experienced. No family gatherings, night club outings, festival or function came remotely close. Which included every man, woman, child of all ages, shapes and sizes. At the same time and place and or televised.

123. ‘ The Way of The Livingness – as presented by Serge Benhayon – as a way of life, and who are reflecting that there is truly another way to be and live life here on Earth.’

     As Luz has stated there is another way and this way is within us all. If we really look at our lives with honesty – what is the quality?
     The way of livingness becomes a steady way of living with love, and we lose that inner hunger for more outside of us as we know it is within us to share with all of us.

124. Very insightful to read this as I have never been to a dance party and can see the seduction of false connection, once the party is over, what is left? Sounds like such a downer. But if we came back to our connection first, what is there? It is as beautifully stated by Luz “…true nature with its deep steadiness and beauty inside, in spite of how the world is asking us to be.”

125. When we are connected to ourselves then we basically feel a sense of value within us and a connection to others, it is natural!

126. ‘It is not about condemning….., but about feeling the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others – that we believe these experiences are natural, true fun and a great way to feel connected to life and people.’

     This is a very strong point and we substitute this false connection in many ways. But it’s not lasting or real because were are not there in the first place as we are disconnected from ourselves. We want connection from out there to ease our internal sense of disconnection and loneliness.

     What we are really lonely about is missing ourselves.

127. The thing about techno, or any music, but I noticed especially techno, it puts a rhythm in your body that is so alien to who you naturally are, and you almost become part of the music. It must have been fascinating to observe – I know when I have just been an observer in a situation like that it’s been like watching a whole group of people under the same spell – it’s scary the effect music can have on us.

128. We all want connection, every single on of us, yet we do things that take us out of connection. It is such a paradox.

129. To honour and respect our bodies, to listen to their many messages would indeed be very different, ‘How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?’

130. Luz you have captured in your blog one of the great conundrums of life – we all crave that connection with ourselves and with others and deep down we sense the lack of it and if we are honest it makes us miserable and a bit desperate to have it. In that desperation we will go for anything that sells itself as delivering that connection and we don’t actually stop to check whether the thing we are experimenting with is actually delivering that deep connection or not. And so if we are not careful the ‘medicine ‘ we are prescribing for ourselves to cure the emptiness we feel inside is actually making us feel more lonely and lost.

131. And if we played big every day perhaps life would feel more amazing than any dance party ever could. Life would be one big soul party!

132. I love this “Why not play it big, instead of partying big”. We can all feel how enormous we truly are and that we are connected to universes and that we can live with this and radiate and share this power daily. When we don’t do this we seek on the outside to feel like we are playing it big, but in truth what we seek is just entertainment and anything that stimulates us to feel alive and big because we are not claiming we are already this.

133. ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big?’ That would make such a great university motto – it’s so much more worthwhile to fully commit to life and play big and embrace everything it has to offer, rather than checking out from life and partying.

134. I love this line “Why not play it big, instead of partying big..?” This makes a lot of sense to me, the letting loose in a big way is usually a reaction to the false and constrained way of living we adhere to, it’s the false high to relieve the dullness. Why not instead live big? Love it.

135. What you have described here Luz does ring true with my own experiences of going to night clubs and although I would look forward to it all week or so I thought, I can still remember that my body was not enjoying the experience. Walking into those places did come with excitement but during the night there was an uncomfortable feeling of being checked out and feeling disappointed and rejected if we went home without having hooked up with anyone. I often found that I felt very lonely in these places, as though I just didn’t fit in and I didn’t because I can see now that it was the separation I was feeling, and that there was no true connection.

136. Hello Luz and from life being about partying to life being more about people, a great change. We all will defend the right we have to do what we want but what you are bringing here is what are you actually doing, how does it feel. We could say ‘I had a great night’ but in comparison to what? As you are saying when you live life from how things truly feel you may no longer be the life of the party and instead choose to live and not party in the way you mentioned. Life in itself is a celebration in the relationships and connections to what we have around us.

137. Seeking connection at these types of events, just does not happen. There was many a techno party that I have attended when I was definitely seeking connection and invariably would attract people and situations that were not honouring. When underneath it all, I was seeking a connection with myself first and foremost.

138. Over my nearly 10 year career as a regular dance music aficionado I must have attended hundreds of parties. They became my main way of meeting people and having what I considered at the time to be a ‘good time’. But the constant going out, and regular drug taking took a toll on me financially, socially, physically, and emotionally. The pursuit of enjoyment became a chore, and the connection that I was looking for resulted in more separation between myself and the world.

139. Such an awesome and important blog you share with us Luz. Reading this took me back to my party days and how empty and loveless these times felt. When we truly self-care and self-love the need for anything outside of ourselves drops away and we begin to see more clearly the choices we have made in the past that kept us in the illusion, fostered separation, misery and kept us further away from who we truly are.

140. When I look back at the amount of alcohol I consumed all in the name of a ‘good time’ I can see now how really it was just a cry for help. Millions of people in society are taking stimulants and substances all in the illusion of a ‘good time’ yet in reality this is millions of people crying out for help knowing there must be another way.

141. We do know what it is that we are looking for – the yearning to connect with one another is strong and innate. The madness is that we create all these set ups (night clubs, speed dating, parties…) that dangle a carrot of delivering this connection, but that actually are so far off, leaving many of us in a worse state, adding self-denigration to lack of connection, as we think we are the only ones not getting it. All the while this elusive connection is right there at our fingertips in our relationship with ourselves and in the simplest of all our everyday interactions.

142. I love how this article is written with not and ounce of judgement, just an observation of what might be under the surface of these events.

143. Luz, you have not only exposed the falsity of this sort of lifestyle where we harm our bodies with alcohol and substances which gives us a false sense of connection with others but you have also clearly presented the way back to our truth thru honesty, appreciation and self-acceptance of the grandness already within us. thank you.

144. People crave bonding and connection and unfortunately many mistake nightclubs to be the ideal places to find it as with drugs and alcohol there seems to be a false feeling of confidence and openness when it fact that can only be found within oneself first, honouring the love that we all are.

145. I used to love the dance scene, not the big festivals, but nightclubs. I recall getting into a state of bliss I guess you could call it, purely based on the music and the movement. I didn’t need and didn’t use drugs to get there. So now, as an older woman I reflect on that particular era of my life, and with the wisdom afforded by hindsight, wonder at what it contributed to my life, to the development of that wisdom? Yes, I can say I learned something from the experience of having done it, but nothing about it deepened my relationship to myself, delivered me more expeditiously to the woman I am today. If anything it took me steps away, because for all the bliss there was a lot of anxious desperation to fit into a place I never actually fitted.
     So the question I am asking, inspired by your blog Luz, is why we imagine that we can burn a decade or two pursuing something that takes us on a long deviation from knowing ourselves. We treat time like small pieces of kindling that we waste lighting futile tiny fires, rather than gathering into the purpose of igniting the fire of a true life.

146. I have observed in many many of our behaviours and patterns as a species a tendency to want to accept less and to keep ourselves small by doing so. Partying in this way is no different. We are saying yes to a very high level of disregard and abuse and seeing that as the way to ‘have fun and connection’ when we have the ability to experience true love, vitality and joy when we live from our inner most

147. I can count the times I have been to night clubs in my life on one hand – possibly even two fingers. My experience was that I could not wait to leave – and probably did, as soon as I could. The idea that you can connect with another person in such an environment seems very unlikely to me. I found it impossible to hear what anyone else was saying let alone have a conversation with them. Perhaps I missed the point and such places are not about having conversations, but without that possibility, I didn’t feel any desire to stay.

148. The perception that normal life is boring is in my view quite commonplace but it is not true. As you share with us here Luz, there is beauty and steadiness in our true nature that may not lead to the roller-coaster of experience in life but it is far from a mundane way of being. In fact it is joy-full to explore, claim and reconnect to this richness within ourselves. Even that which might appear mundane in life can be enjoyed when we are fully present in ‘performing’ those actions.

149. Luz, seeing the ugliness that exists is a huge and brave step to make, and I love how you have turned it around in to an experience that actually confirms the great love that you feel for people.

150. In reality we are only ever delaying feeling the let down and misery of not being connected and living from who we truly are by seeking artificial excitement and stimulation through drugs and events. That is not to say we can’t celebrate in joy with others when the connection is there!

151. We know deep inside that this isn’t a place of true connection hence the need for the alcohol and drugs, we want the connection but at the time have no idea how to go about connecting on a deeper level, and as our friends are doing the clubs we join in, in order to fit in.

152. Beautifully said Luz. ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?’
     Years ago when I ‘partied’ I always felt like a big fake/fraud – I didn’t ‘party’ very well, as I could never get the ‘chat’ right! ‘

153. Some great points presented in this blog – why is it that in seeking so-called ‘connection’ we adopt a myriad of techniques and clutches to ensure our disconnection firstly from ourselves and from all around us?
     The very choice to frequent such venues is another choice to disconnect and not be present in our body and with our own breath.

154. Great blog Luz. Reminded me of being in my early 20’s and doing exactly the same thing. It’s interesting to reflect on the reasons I used to say that I enjoyed them. Connecting with people, no aggression, the music and it’s effects. But really it was all fake. It was all a facade. No real connection, not when you consider that I was looking first outside of myself for that very connection. All that came because I was reacting to what I saw was the evils in alcohol. Interesting that I walked through another door that was even more full of illusion.

155. So true Brendan. My guess is that the day following the techno parties, will be in disconnection for many too as the party goers go into recovery and their bodies talk loudly.

156. It really is black and white, the rush, the exhilaration, are all signs of wanting to get somewhere simply because we are not already there within ourselves.

157. Thank you Luz, you have taken me back to those times I myself had chosen the same. It felt uncomfortable to read as it reminded me of the truth I could feel even back then but that which I masked with drugs and alcohol in my desperate need for connection. I have since found that true connection is found in the simplicity of life, in the gentle ways we are with ourselves and others, not something that needs to be simulated or forced, if it is, it simply is not the true connection we seek.

158. I have heard so many stories of drunken hook ups and bad choices made during those hazy and intoxicated hours people spend partying – it has always struck me as odd that people would put themselves into those situation, but your blog has helped me understand that for some it is the want to connect that causes them to go, not knowing any other way to meet and connect with people.

159. Hence going somewhere that is looking to create the peaks and troughs, the pinnacle moment followed by a chill out room, just exacerbates the disconnection.

160. And oh yes, we think a party like this is the right place to hook up and ‘to meet the ‘right one’’. Its almost like we are trying to stack it all against us, taking the worst possible conditions to choose a partner.

161. ‘we really crave excitement and togetherness’ – this was the standout comment for me, and the question is why? For me, the excitement I crave outside of myself is because I don’t feel enough, just being me. That lack of connection to how simple and gorgeous I know myself to be has been a constant driver to seek high and low for an answer when in fact its with me all the time. As for the togetherness – we are hard wired for this but how strange is it to seek this in an environment of late nights, drug and alcohol abuse, and noise? Is it remotely possible to be together like this?!

162. I have experienced these come downs, the numbing, the flatness and neurosis that then occurs after frequenting techno parties, it absolutely kills any flickering of self worth that may have been there, being involved in such behaviour and activities.

163. Luz, I can so relate to what you have shared here in your blog. I lived in London for many years, majority of my 20’s and spent a vast amount of that time lost in partying, alcohol, drugs and the like. On reflection is felt exactly as you described your experience in the club, empty, emotionless, disconnection, self doubt, self consciousness, lacking any kind of love for myself. It was quite awful actually, when I feel how I live now and how I now feel about myself. It is polls apart, thank you for your great expose on your return to a club and the illusion that comes with such partying.

164. Strobe light, disco balls, glow sticks and colour techno laser lights are no match to the true light of the Soul.

     1. Love what you say here Rachael, they don’t come close.

165. Beautiful and simple point Brendan – and in that connection to ourselves we not only fit in but realise that we are in fact a necessary and very deliberate piece of humanity and that by shining our light we are representing the all on earth. With true purpose, fitting in and hiding in fake connection can be seen as the abuse it is.

166. Absolutely Luz, lets ‘”play it big,”‘ and find out what love is truly capable off! Now that would be some party with everyone so connected the feeling of total ‘joy–full-ness” would expand the universe’s!

167. Yes it is that simple, when we reconnect to ourselves we are connected to all others.

168. It is gorgeous that you have come to a place that you now recognise how you have fallen victim to ideals, beliefs and chemicals to suppress and obscure your sweetness and light and have now chosen to find true connection to yourself through self honesty, love, appreciation and acceptance, and through that, connection to others. There is truly no comparison.

169. I remember the illusion of finding the connection, usually artificially and then watch as it dissipated as the drugs wore off leaving me unsettled in a room full of strangers similarly separated from themselves and each other. It is crazy what we settle for in comparison to the true connection that is possible.

     1. Yes that was something that I can remember very clearly is that false sense of connection but when you are high on drugs it is impossible to have an true connection with anyone let along one with yourself. That feeling of coming down and feeling completely alone and sucked of life is one that I can honestly say I don’t miss for a nano second. Even if it was on the occasional basis it was still a hideous place to have chosen to go to.

170. I personally cannot handle festivals and clubs or even bars like I used to. The last time I tried to go into one I felt so anxious before going in the door and to me it was my body screaming at me and I realised that I had always felt that but had over ridden it. Once inside I couldn’t wait to get out. The way people were looking at each other in comparison, or like we were in a meat market made me feel sick to my stomach. It was as if I could see everything without the drunken haze of the past and people shouting at each other to be heard but no one really listening because they couldn’t over the loud music or because they really didn’t care didn’t appeal to me. Give me a cup of tea and some friends to connect to any day.

171. Awesome blog Luz! Thanks for writing this as I totally relate and understand what you are sharing here. This whole scene feels like it was something I did in a past life as I have turned my life around so much in the last 7 years and I feel this is super educational. Would be great if schools shared blogs like this in their drug and alcohol sessions because I can imagine that lots of kids would feel the same way but not know that others do too and dare not be the odd one out.

     1. Great point RB – how many kids are doing this so they do not feel like the odd one out, rather than any real commitment to the party scene?

172. It is really interesting how trends change and how the way we socialise changed over time – we now have a very party oriented society, where it is the place to meet friends, new people and potential partners. If you’re not into partying, socialising becomes a far more difficult thing to do, which I find interesting because why do we feel that the partying scene is the best way to connect with people in meaningful ways?

173. Thank you Luz… Yes indeed imagine if we really lived ‘big’ and celebrated all that there truly was to celebrate in the simple recognition that we live in the heart of God and that this experience was there are for all of us to have simply by listening deeply to what our bodies are telling us.

174. I have heard about the parties where a combination of music and drugs is used to get to a really extreme high euphoric state. A work friend of mine was very much into that scene and would tell me about it and show me photos of the night out and even invite me along. I knew that for me it was never something I wanted to consider going to – looking at the photos and hearing the stories I couldn’t understand the allure of the loud music, pulsating lights – but the drugs and alcohol fool the senses and create a atmosphere you can get totally swept up in, which at the time might seem great, but I would then see the after effects of my friend at work the next day, if they could even make it in. They would be ashen faced and exhausted for days, and feeling pretty crap. I couldn’t see the benefits of that one night for how badly it effected you and for how long – it made me appreciate my early nights in!

175. “we rarely get to hear about the grandness and wealth that lies within each one of us”. The only exception is Serge Benhayon, he constantly reminds us of how great we actually are and the wisdom we have inside if we connect to our soul.

176. “It was now easy to recognise how I used to be shadowed by ideals, stereotypes and chemicals obscuring my true light, tenderness, sweetness and playfulness inside.” What an insidious game we play to dull our light with parties like this being cool and ‘normal’.

177. “It all felt like a huge feast of disregard, illusion and glamour, and actually was not that glamorous after all; pretty ugly in many corners and disheartening in many ways.” This is what you can see and feel when you allow yourself to observe and look in honesty.

     1. The whole techno party scene is full of disregard, illusion and glamour. But I agree, when you truly look and feel what is actually going on it is full of people desperate for connection, desperate to feel and be love.

178. Thank you Luz, I totally can see myself reading your experience. Like you I’ve lost a big amount of my precious time on the dance floor, totally lost, drunk and with no other purpose in life than to check out from my anxiousness, feel the oneness with my supposed friends in that moment and flirting with someone who could tell me how cool I was. It’s quite surprising to me now how I could reach this level of self-harming with drugs and alcohol. My body was telling me all the time that this parties weren’t good for me but I preferred to not pay attention to it and “live the life”. Sadly this kind of “celebrations” are normal in our society. I really appreciate your blog now, because it’s so necessary to talk about the reality, about what is really going on in our society and why we accept this level of self-harming.

     “I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” Yes we can choose! and the beautiful thing is that it is never to late to care for ourselves deeply and honour who we truly are. As you so well said, “no regrets” just a big amount of honesty and commitment to bring back the love to our lives.

179. I have enjoyed very much reading your blog Luz Helena. You express and expose so clearly the senseless of techno parties, as well as all of those events created to move us away from who we are. Thank you for bringing light into this subject.

180. Most, if not all of the clubs, pubs, bars, parties and the many other names we call these events where we think we are having connection with others with the support of alcohol, marijuana or the variety of herbal and pharmaceutical substances, all have a very debilitating negative ‘hangover’. Doesn’t this tell us something? It often takes several days to recover both physically and emotionally, yet the celebrations that I’ve attended with Universal Medicine leave me unaffected or probably more joy-full than ever before.

     1. Yes Matthew, the Universal Medicine celebrations haven given me a new understanding what true celebration is and they give me a new marker each time, how much fun we can have with each other without any need for altering substances, and how much joy there can be just by connecting to another.

        1. For me, I feel an intimacy at these gatherings that I never got with the loud music of yore. There is a different quality to the music, and a different intention in the participants… which is to connect rather than escape.

     2. Yes Matthew, our bodies are constantly communicating with us and it’s our choice to pay attention to it or not. Hangovers are shouting to us that we are not here on Earth to drink alcohol and disconnect from our bodies in any way. It’s true that another way to celebrate, where people can share openly from the heart, is possible. In truth, everyday could be a celebration of our Livingness. We are here, re-claiming our true power and enjoying deeply with ourselves and others.

181. Not being of an era that got so caught up in the scene you painted Luz, I can only imagine from your and other descriptions that it was pretty seductive situation drawing people in young and not so young. and it is a shame we are not encouraged to choose a different way to connect with each other.

     1. So true I. If we were confirmed in connection to ourselves as babies and in our childhood we would not have a yearning to find this missing link later in our lives. Such an awesome realisation to have and to be able to ensure we take responsibility for reflecting this to others in our own way of living.

182. Feeling the past choices we’ve made and now our present choices helps us all to realise the changes we may have made and appreciate our own journeys. Everyone has their own journey to do and we’re all at our own stages in that journey. Great for you to look back at yours Luz and feel the difference now.

183. “Connection does not have ups and downs, we are simply either connected or disconnected. Hence anything that is emotionally up and down exposes itself as part of being disconnected.”
     It is as simple are that Great comment Brendon.

184. “I had jumped back into the illusion of recognition and identity, to then fall back into: “what the hell am I doing here?” I realised that this wave by its nature and quality was not inspiring or taking me into any true bonding state at all.” Great insight in to the situation and great that you didn’t beat yourself up. What a great learning experience for you yourself and as you have shared it with all of us.

185. I look back on my nightclub years, not so much with fondness, but rather morbid curiosity, and I say morbid, because it was a celebration of the living dead. No connection, too loud to talk and relate, and even the lighting was designed to distort reality. Add to that the alcohol and drugs, and, well, you had what many call an escape. But that’s the problem isn’t it. You can’t escape life. It is there, humming inexorably away, calling you to pay attention. Best I say to meet it with your eyes wide open, than with eyes caught in the headlights of something that is not even true.

186. From living the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as taught by Universal Medicine, over the years i have come to know that – the very best form of ‘entertainment’, is love. That only when you experience a love that is true, i.e. not altered or adulterated, can you know this to be….Because when there is this love, and its natural holding buoyancy, you realise the hold of entertaining no longer is required.

187. Luz having not stepped foot inside a nightclub for a fair few years now, about 10, i wouldn’t know what this would be like having spent those years developing and deepening love in my body, though the way you describe it to be is spot on to when i used to go out. It is amazing that the best part of the evening was the feeling of being together, feeling close to those you were with, even strangers, and indeed shows just how much the ache of separation is to totally invert togetherness/brotherhood into illusionary and ephemeral forays of mind and body altering states as you describe. Certainly not cool, hip or vip as so many of us like to believe, but rather very sad and lonely that we use such parties for entertainment and the false sense of gratification to escapism they bring.

188. The partying scene across the world is huge, and what your suggesting here is really important – what if like with the Internet and social media, we put so much into partying to get a sense of relief and connection from it? I have spoken to many people who freely admit they need to party to be able to have fun or to get away from the stresses of everyday life. They also tell me it’s a great way to meet people and spend time with friends, but I always wondered how it was possible to connect to people when you can’t hear over the music, see because of the lights and most people are high on drugs or drunk. As a collective society is it time to really consider the cost that these actions are having – on our police force dealing with the increased crime, fights and violent and disorderly behaviour of intoxicated people leaving clubs, on our work force, where the productivity is taking a huge hit as people miss work due to hangovers or come to work totally smashed. The effect on those around you, your friends and family, if you drink and drive, then the effect on the other drivers on the road, and the effect you might have if you do something whilst drunk that you wouldn’t normally do. We don’t often like to consider the ripple effect our choices have on others, but is it possible our drive to get connection is actually taking us further from it, and our need for relief is creating as many problems as you briefly escape from?

189. Thank you Elizabeth – very beautiful and true. Living from our hearts is co-creation of simplicity that applies to absolutely all moments in life.

190. A definite moment for you Luz to stop and appreciate the changes you have made in yourself and how you now choose to live. This was a great opportunity to confirm what is true for you and see through the illusion of the ‘what is not’ that almost all of humanity choose to live in. Thank you for the sharing.

191. I can only imagine what it must have been like for the young people at these techno parties. Wow! a far cry from the barn-dancing and foxtrots at the local Town Hall – but with the same energy passing through us all, an energy of emptiness and separation as we sought connection, acknowledgement, recognition and acceptance. I thank God that I/we have found that there was another way, The Way of The Livingness, a religion of One-ness, of Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon at Universal Medicine events.

192. The vacuum of raves and false connections, really it can be spread right across board to sporting events, they suck up and spit you out, leaving you more void then the original point you were at. Who would have that a few simple techniques could be so life changing.

193. When I’ve gone to parties in the past it was because I felt really disconnected from myself and desperately wanted to connect to something outside myself. Now I see it as me just wanting to find something to cling to for a fix and get some recognition.

194. The irony never entered my head when in the habit of attending dance parties that I was wrecking my body to feel good. It was absolutely justifiable to work hard and party hard just as it was to exercise hard. Part of this was being hooked into spiritual way of thinking that ‘the body’ was not a part of evolution and even the belief that it was an encumbrance to it. It might surprise if I stated that I actually believed an altered state, although artificially induced, could still be evolving, yet this is not is not so strange when the Bliss associated with Yoga that is thought to be a goal of Yoga is a mental derived high at the expense of the body and the exercise high from pushing the body is also widely regarded as beneficial in the fitness industry

     1. What you describe here, Simon, is that idea that ‘peak experiences’ in our lives are where we evolve, and that must be worked hard for in order to be obtained. So, pursuits like taking drugs to induce a ‘transcendent’ state from which we feel we are evolving (because of the overload of our physical senses and the bathing of our brains in chemicals) become the goal, and the effects on our physical body are brushed aside in the false quest for a state of so-called enlightenment.
        But what is ignored in this pursuit is the fact that our body is with us all of the time, and to compromise it is to compromise everything else, there is nothing that does not matter to our evolution.

195. Luz, thank you – my eyes have been opened to the horrors of ‘techno parties’ and confirms I have no desire to attend one!
     I love the simplicity you have come to with the return to that which is our true nature waiting ever-patiently inside us all to return to and re-claimed.
     “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself”.

196. I remember going to parties feeling the desperate urge to fit in. I would try to cover up my awkwardness and the desperation by pretending to act cool, yet in truth, however much I put on an act, I never fooled myself.

     1. An awesome point Samantha – we rarely truly fool ourselves even if we achieve momentary escape, distraction or numbness. I know this well, our awareness is always waiting for us to return.

     2. I too have felt that desperation Samantha – it was crippling and no matter what I wore or how much I tried to look the part my lack of self worth only became stronger as I moved further and further away from the true expression of who I am. Thank God for Serge Benhayon, now I enjoy myself and how I express who I am with a shadow of doubt or care for what others think.

197. I had an experience just the other day when I was in a situation where I felt myself drawn back into memories of the past and the instant emotional pull to ‘go there’, but when I observed this I was able to choose to stay clear and with myself and although feelings of sadness came up it was more for feeling the hold this need for recognition still had on another and the results because of their choices.

198. We think we are connecting to the universe when taking drugs, when in actual fact we are in complete disconnection to our innermost, in disconnection to our body.

     1. Certainly we are seeking connection and certainly we are not in connection to our innermost, to each other, to love or to our bodies. So perhaps we should ask ourselves what are we truly connecting to? If we knew and could see the ugliness and life force sucking energy that we are connecting to in these situations we might reconsider our choices!

     2. Yes Annie, states of euphoria – the greatest trick to prevent the non-euphoria of Divinity or Soul’s natural stasis and expanse of its grand stillness.

199. I can totally relate to craving bonding and connection at parties. The atmosphere, the music and alcohol/drugs takes you out of your connection, so there is an emptiness that doesn’t get filled.

200. Luz thanks, a very insightful peek into a world I have never been part of… and of course it is just one way we seek so desperately to find ourselves, only to discover we are further away from the truth of who we are than when we started. The simplicity of going within is lost on us, and the more embroiled we become in pursuing a solution to our discontent, the further from this inner glance we tend to move. We do have to look at the true intent behind this too though, for it is also true that if we are looking in truth, then we will find true answers. With that in mind, a greater honesty is required in looking at our choices, particularly those that have led us up the garden path.

201. It is an interesting thing that we are looking for ‘more’ and yet we end up feeling less, because of the expense to our body in this situation. Only connection to myself lets me feel full and know that I am that more than I had let myself believe.

     1. This is a good point you raise here Rosanna, “we are looking for ‘more’ and yet we end up feeling less,..” The thing is do we stop to feel and admit this or just carry on searching or doing that which brings us ‘something’ momentarily. The problem though arises when we have to keep upping the ‘something’ to continue not being aware of what we don’t want to feel! True connection to ourself is so much more simple.

     2. Hmm agree rosannabianchini, true connection to our body and movement of this, brings connection and movement to the fullness of oneself and to life itself. Living this makes it possible to truly enjoy living instead of wanting to press eject or escape through altered states of the body or mind. Connected body and being = the enjoyment of everything, and everyone.

        1. That’s a great equation Zofia “Connected body and being = the enjoyment of everything, and everyone.” It highlights how disconnected humanity is by the fact that we are neither taught /raise by the knowing we have a being, nor that the body and the way we move with our body, is key to the fullness of life itself.

202. I love reading this article, it’s giving a great and very honest insight on why we make the choices that are so dishonouring and abusive of our bodies and selves. How Amazing that there are people like Luz who can share and educate the world, having lived this before. That we accept such parties as legal is telling a lot about the disconnection we face in the world. How on earth have we accepted ‘freedom to choose’ bastardised to such an extent that we allow such denial and abuse on many, many levels to be legal! We’re actually supporting people to lose themselves, as many in society seem to accept this as ‘normal’. This is maybe the saddest of everything. For me it is about coming to a One Unified Truth. Together! Without judgement or drive to change, but in Purpose to come back to a life as Luz so beautifully describes – The Way of the Livingness

203. Thank you Luz for sharing your experiences, of the searching and longing for connection, only to feel the sadness and loneliness of after party life, not knowing all along there is a choice to be had which you now have made “I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.”

204. My first Universal Medicine celebration was a very revealing experience. I needed to re-learn what it was like to move me rather than be moved by music, alcohol or any other influence. I felt awkward and was just blown away by how uncomfortable it felt yet at the same time it was “where have I been all this time?”.

     1. Totally relate to that Matthew. It’s like when I do True Movement classes with Curtis Benhayon. Sometimes the most very, very basic of movements can completely stump me; a simple sway of the hips. Yet on a night-club dance floor when I had zero connection to my body, then all sorts of shapes and moves were going on! It’s super revealing and incredibly powerful to truly re-connect to the body with these simple movements. True Movement is miraculous.

        1. Yes I too have experienced this Otto how a simple move with True Movement which looks super simple but when push comes to shove it is like you – back in the old days it would have been a piece of cake because I was so disconnected to the body and how it has become totally different. When I am completely connected with the body sometimes a move with True Movement can look and feel super awkward. Breaking through all those years and years of not moving my own body and ideals and beliefs can take some time.

        2. And ain’t that amazing. That our own bodies can be so locked from such simple moves. Again our body showing us so much. Lovely to share your sharing.

     2. Being at Universal Medicine celebrations for me has been a real education! Whilst I have been slowly letting go of my issues for a number of years I have come to a point where I no longer feel awkward and self conscious on the dance floor and my body has entirely reconfigured so that it is fun to move it and feel it as it moves. (I used to be so self conscious and stiff – riddled with tension and disempowerment) These events are now a real marker for me over how much I have changed and let go of, and how much joy there is in celebrating and truly connecting with others from a true connection with myself. Very unlike the old days of going to discos and absolutely hating every single second of them, but trying to fit in from a place of self loathing (and not feeling like I was doing it very well either!)

        1. Beautifully said Michelle, it’s hard to look like we’re enjoying something when we are hating every minute – but we try anyway… and without taking ourselves out completely with drugs and alcohol, the experience is no fun, which I am guessing is why so many take the ‘getting out of it’ option. It has been a super joyful experience to attend true movement clases and celebrations and feel the connection and joy in everyone rather than frenetic disconnect of the nightclub at 1am.

        2. So true Annie. Since I was never into alcohol or drugs I was never numbed to the emptiness of it all, so I got to feel the full on impact of watching everyone around me get slowly plastered, less and less like themselves and more and more disengaged! This is considered normal! So appreciative that my inner radar for what felt true was indeed true and that I am now able to live on that solid platform each day and to support others to know it too!

     3. I can relate to this feeling of awkwardness Matthew, In the past at parties I have reached outside myself for a connection, which feels totally different from the movements coming from the connection from within.

     4. Beautiful Matthew, it is a whole different experience to be on the dance floor with people not high as a kite on ecstasy or smashed by alcohol or other drugs.,.. there is the potential for true joy and connection moving together sharing the celebration with all.

        1. Have to agree. Universal Medicine students are certainly bringing back the art of true connection at parties.

205. “… I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” Love this list!

206. Knocking ourselves out, checking out of our connection to our body which is connected to the Universe and so, knocking out our connection to God has a loooong tradition with human beings – be it alcohol, other drugs, emotions, so called ‘religious’ mania of “God’s warriors”, sport, war, glamour or techno – nearly every generation does come up with another version of trying to escape. We do not want to feel how it feels to live how we live and then we find a way to avoid. To step out of this long tradition of avoiding, denying and not taking responsibility is like finding my way out of a very well designed labyrinth of illusion. But hey – I was one of the designers so I will make my way through it. Every choice counts (this way or that way?), every choice I make is either in connection to God or against. And I know exactly which one is which. ‘I am the expert’ – that’s a good claim (in fact it is a fact and so a realization) to start with.

207. Last night I attended a Universal Medicine Retreat and the 300 plus people all danced to music that was being played. The unity in the room was profound we were all moving to the one beat totally connected to the band and every single person in the hall. It was a stark contrast to the dance parties I used to attend.

     1. Great point Mary-Louise, I also attended that party and there was true connection and joy. About 360 people moving and dancing as one with not a drop of emotion or alcohol in sight.

        1. Another thing that touched me and struck me about that party was how amongst the participants there was such a huge mix of ages, shapes and sizes etc. Everyone connected as equals so you might have a teenager dancing with an elder, two men dancing together, one part of a couple dancing with someone else, people dancing in groups of 3 or 4 and so forth – simply the joy of everyone being in connection with themselves and everyone else and celebrating.

        2. This is the thing, music that is emotional only feeds more emotionality, – which by default means it is not connecting us to ourselves, but taking us further away – all in the illusion that we are connecting with others, when in fact the very opposite is the case.

        3. Exactly Nicola it is unheard of, so many people in so much connection, joy and harmony. We need to document this so others can see what is possible once you re-connect back to your body and are willing to be open to connect with others. Before I came to Universal Medicine I would not have thought this was possible and now I sometimes take it for granted because it has become the norm

        4. I look forward to living in a world where love and joy is the normal as it should be!

     2. What I love love love about the Universal Medicine parties at the retreats or as a community get together in December is that my body feels at ease. No competition, no comparison but just a celebration of each other and the best thing is that everyone there is inspired by each other. Its a place where children can be and witness adults having fun and dancing without drugs or alcohol and see that you don’t need any substances to enjoy yourself.

        1. I too love the fact that the young kids and teenagers grow up witnessing the older generation having such awesome parties with out drugs or alcohol. They get to feel how much love and joy there is amongst us all. As they grow up and if they go to other parties with drugs and alcohol they will have these parties as a marker of how a party can be and can make a choice of what sort of parties they want to attend. I know when I was growing up all the parties I attended with my parents were ones where every one ended up smashed on alcohol so I thought this was the norm and continued this trend through my teenage and adult life until coming across Universal Medicine where I now love partying and dancing high on my own and others joy. Feels great the next morning!!!

     3. Yes this was indeed a great party with all ages dancing together and smiles all over the dance floor. It’s been 40 years since I last went to ‘a party’ but I never danced the way I did at the retreat!

208. I remember going to a dance party one night and getting swept up in the music and going wild on the dance floor thinking I was having a great time, I spent 4 hours in my own world imagining I was connected to every-one at the party…. I was in total illusion and at the time had no idea. Every other person on the dance floor was in the same state as me so you can imagine the energy that was being magnified from the warehouse it was being held.

     1. I so get it Mary Louise, the illusion is that you think you are all together when the reality is you are all in your own world, so much so that you don’t notice when someone passes out near you or another is sexually abused. You may witness it but do nothing about it and it is acceptable. It is actually quite disturbing when I think back to what goes on in clubs and festivals.

     2. I know exactly what you mean Marylouisemyers, hours of intense music, dancing and conversations that at the time you think really mean something but when the hangovers (alcohol and drug alike) kick in, all that “connection” seems to evaporate in the cold light of day and the depression that follows. What an awful energy to magnify, more apparent to me now I know the true meaning and quality of ‘connection’, a focus that steadily expands, heals and evolves our awareness, making daily life a joy and empowering us to form truly meaning-full relationships.

209. The music at these dance parties are designed to take you out of your body, any body in their body to start with would feel this. The question is why do people attend these dance parties?

     1. I would wonder this too Marylouise – only went to nightclubs a couple of times with friends to experience it – but they felt cold, harsh, empty, and the music so loud it was like an assault on the body – and not hear a word anyone was saying. I could not understand how this was meant to be a place to connect with other people.

        1. Correct Annie it is presented as a place to connect to people but in fact is the complete opposite. Dance parties dis-connect you from your body and from others leaving you empty and disillusioned there for needing to take more drugs and alcohol to numb you further.

        2. Annie I also haven’t been to that many dance parties, I have been to some and back then I would of said I had a great dance but as Mary-Louise said you are so disconnected to yourself and in your own bubble that there is no connection what so ever going on. I can remember years ago going to the famous club in London and walking around feeling like we were all these little ants in a dark seedy place and I had to leave because it felt so bad.. Like you said Annie the music was so loud it felt like abuse on my body. Never again have I gone to one.

     2. Agree marylouisemyers, Annie C and many others. With the level of awareness we now all have in our bodies it is easy to say, ‘Why on earth would people attend these parties/places?’ I would certainly ask this myself if I would go back to one of these these days. I feel it is good to always bear in mind the fact that we all have been there: disconnected and in search of something, and as many people have said here: we have used many ways to fill up the void: pubs, sport, techno parties, food and so on. So the question is ‘Why are we so disconnected as a race, as human beings?’ ‘Why do we live so disconnected from our bodies?’ when in many cases (as in these techno scenes) our bodies are loudly saying, ‘Stop this, and take me out from here?’ Why don’t we listen to what we truly feel about a situation and honour it? In my case I never truly listened or honoured what I felt in my body, because the agenda to fit in, make things happen and have fun was stronger, and they all came along with the: don’t complain, toughen up, be part of it, feel how cool it is, things happen here, it is eventful – opposite to the dullness and loneliness of normal life. It was all about looking for connection and identity that I coudn´t find within myself, or better said: that I didn´t know how to find/claim/honour within myself, mainly because I didn’t know/value that it could only be found/connected to by a Way of Living inside and then outside of myself.

     3. There is only one reason I can think of and that is to check out which they cant do without drugs or alcohol infact most get wasted before going because they really know how harsh cold and empty these places actually are.

        1. I was searching to connect, yet I was not aware of that. At the time that I was going to clubs, I hadn’t been shown any other way.
           Yes, you have to get wasted to go, to be able to get through the door because reality is, we are all super sensitive and we can feel what is ahead of us and have to numb to not feel it.
           My feeling is that we go because deep down we want to connect and be with people and because everyone is doing it, it seems normal.

        2. Absolutely true RB deep down we all want connection. It is up to us to reflect the true way of connecting with humanity. It is beautiful to see so many young people out in the world fully present with themselves leading the way with their reflection redefining fun and connection for future generations.

     4. That is true marylouisemyers, people at these events don’t discern the harmful effects the music has on their behaviours and bodies. These affect us and those around us, deeply longer than what we imagine.

210. These dance parties breed separation – everybody is in their own individual world thinking they are connecting to the all when in fact it is the complete opposite. To me this is the epitome of people being lost and not connecting to their bodies

     1. And yet it is exactly the opposite that is sold to us and that we buy in to.

        1. We buy into it and do not question it because it suits our irresponsible way of being .

211. Techno parties are a great way to have strong sensations when love is missing. When love is there, the strong sensations feel harsh, even bitter and they don’t make sense to pursue from my experience.

     1. Excellent point Christoph, these harmful things seem to be attractive when love is missing and can temporarily numb us to that sense of missing. Of course love is never missing and always with and within us but what we miss is our connection to it. Heavy sensory experiences such as techno parties serve to excite and stimulate emotions in us and as love does not contain one ounce of emotions they serve to disconnect us even more from the connection we truly yearn. When connected to love, it is so yummy and fulfilling it is the greatest party you could ever attend, and in that joy there is no need or desire to attend such an event, although one might do so on occasions if it is for a loving purpose in support of others.

     2. I really connected to your use of the expression “strong sensations”. This is EXACTLY what these parties deliver and exactly what people crave.The desperate antidote to the deep feelings of loneliness and separation that so many of us carry.

212. Its great to read about somebody who is involved with Universal Medicine and revisits a past choice such as you have detailed Luz. It exposes the illusion of the false connection thats found at rave parties, pubs and nightclubs

213. “How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?” If I had known this from day one I were never went out for partying. I would know that everything I was looking for is not outside of me but only inside of me.

214. What a life changing question Luz: “Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?”

215. Luz thank you so much for sharing your experience with the techno party re-visit. You wrote: “And how in this dense type of partying, nobody gets to evolve an inch from their insecurities and boredom in a lasting way, and nobody gets to truly connect with each other in true awareness and acceptance.” That gave me a good insight of how it felt to be at such a party. I have to admit it left me sad as it felt so empty – no true connection at all. Perhaps they will read your awesome blog and will get a good reflection of what is really going on and a possibility to feel that there is another way of living possible.

216. Could it be that we as a society prefer ‘partying big’ over ‘playing it big’ because we have lost our connection with who we truly are? In that we have forgotten that each of us has the key to end the wayward life we are currently living as a society. We have to become aware again of how powerful we are, each of us, that we are capable to ‘play it big’ and to come together in that in which we can make the changes in life that we are all so desperately looking for.

217. Thank you Luz Helena for showing me the insights of the techno party scene. In the past, when these parties where introduced I was also attracted because of the type of music and intensity of the whole night dancing. But I am glad I never went to one of these as I can feel that, at that time, I would also have been capable of wasting myself completely in these type of partying and in addition would have made it a kind of lifestyle for me in order to not feel entrapped in the same dull and empty way I classified ‘normal’ life to be.

218. When we forsake the ‘All that we are’, we set out on a desperate quest to seek ‘all that we are not’. The futility of this is not realised until the choice is made to live love and nothing less. In this moment, the true Son is born and so lights the world with the warmth of his/her glow from within.

219. As humans, what we want and crave more than any drug can offer, is to feel the warmth of the love that we are and are from AND…to have this reflected back through others. Instead, what we fall for is the cheap copy of this, the euphoria that is promised if we disconnect from our essence and sign ourselves over to all that seeks to take its place; the endless supply of alcohol, drugs, music, entertainment and emotions along with anything and everything that acts as a bandaid so that we cannot feel the pain, nor see the wound we all carry, from not living the depth of the love that we are. Luz, I too was lost in this world, desperately searching for what I would never find within the walls that offered protection, but only imprisoned. Thankyou for saying it as it is, so that we are better able to remove the blindfold and see things as they truly are and not as we would otherwise think them to be. Such clarity far surpasses any imagined high any drug/music/group could ever promise.

220. Thanks Luz, for an awesome blog exposing our search for connection and all the different energies that play out in the club, drug, music scene that is the norm for most people growing up today. Your description was down to the tee. Why is it that we are so lost, empty and disconnected that we seek escape in to these fragmented worlds and how do we feel when we have left the excitement and elation? For me afterwards I was usually more lost, arrogant, disconnected and definitely not wanting to return to work and serve as a responsible member of society. It feels to me that it’s that lack of responsibility and connection that lets us go there in the first place, you know like the the weekender attitude of claiming it as yours to get fully wasted and party it all away, coming back to work Monday, but not really there until Wed/Thursday. Imagine the true cost of all that in society. Having fun and connecting with friends is awesome and dancing is to, but not when it’s all the drugs and just the sophistication of BPMs in the music that keep people flocking to these events. I too feel so blessed to have found connection in my own livingness and The Livingness to not need such distractions these days, I love myself too much to go back to those days.

221. We have totally lost the true meaning of words – humanity has twisted the otherwise divine understanding of what connection, love, joy and brotherhood are. How have we gotten to the point of thinking that connection lies in abusing our body and finding refuge in others doing the same thing? This is not connection, it is escape through abuse.

     1. I love what you have shared Rachel, indeed humanity has twisted and bastardised something so sacred and fallen for distractions,glamour and indulgences that gives us similar feelings which in truth are detrimental to our bodies. It is only until we connect to our essence of love within that we can see the abuse of such activities.

     2. Yes Rachael there is more for us to feel and take responsibility for in our choices when it comes to what we seek and accept as connection with one another… Luz’s blog is a great example of this as it begins with the honesty to say how it really is…

     3. Yes, we have to name it for what it is as we are making abuse a very normal ‘recreation’. At least being honest about it lets us see how crazy it is rather than saying “that’s just what people do for fun”.

     4. This is a very important point Rachael. If I was to talk to any drug/alcohol-infested party-go-ers, they would argue fervently that they do feel connected, that they do feel joy, that they do feel love; that, in fact, those are the exact reasons why they love to party. Humanity has bastardised these words so that they fit in to their version of life. We know we want these words. They ring true in the core of our bodies. But instead of having the responsibility to live a life towards them, we change the meaning of the words and live whatever life suits us.

222. Very interesting to read your blog Luz – I have never been to a techno party and so have never heard about the ‘bonding’ stage. Great to hear a different perspective from you, compared to how this used to be a normal part of your life – it is truly amazing to develop awareness of an activity that we once thought we enjoyed, only to discover what is actually does to the body. To me I have always found such a gathering of people dancing in a seeming trance rather strange and very ‘primal’ in its approach, and I was simply not drawn to this myself, but this does not mean I did not find other ways that engendered further my own disconnection such as through mental activities. In the end it is not about the activity itself, it is about how we are in it. Though having said that, there are of course activities that make it particularly difficult to hold yourself in and with, such as the techno dancing, university studies, etc. Thank you for your sharing.

223. Incredible blog Luz. You have deconstructed the party scene without judgement from the understanding that we are all seeking true connection with each other.

     I walked by a very sophisticated garden wedding yesterday and was struck by the disconnection I could feel in the voices of the people at the wedding due to the consumption of alcohol. Everyone was dressed to the nines, the setting was very gorgeous, the music was soft and sophisticated, however, none of this could mask the emptiness of what was actually playing out. The celebrations I have participated in over the last few years have shown me that there is a way to truly connect with other people in celebration and we can do it all the time by simply appreciating what is before us.

224. I had a great conversation with my thirteen year old son this week talking with him about the struggles of being ourselves, and shining our essence in the world. He shared with me that he gets picked on and called names a lot; so he has worked out ways to dull himself down to not stand out – he aligned himself to being ‘normal’ like everyone to alleviate this tension and struggle. This was such an important lesson for me to understand: how much we need to support our young people to remain being their true selves, which then offers a reflection and support to their peers to do the same.

225. So true Luz Helena – all we were looking for was connection. But it got so lost in those clubs; all we had to do was be ourselves and know what that truly means rather than expose ourselves to so much abuse. I took ecstasy just once and it rendered me incapable of speaking – and I looked around at the other lost souls at the party, all sitting there in the same comatose state – where is the connection in that??

226. Brilliant article Luz Helena. I can remember those clubs so well, everyone on ecstasy and drinking – and feeling back it is exactly as you say, no connection, jealousy, look at me. When I feel into the surroundings as well, the black painted walls, and scungy toilets with the water to the taps switched off because ectasy made you thirsty and they wanted to charge $10 for a water – it feels like hell on earth.

     1. It sounds like hell on earth ginadunlop, having never attended one of those clubs but always getting a feeling of exactly what Luz has described. I had my own versions of the same playing out however, just in more seemingly sanitized ways.

        1. Great analogy Jenny – yes, all those other areas we created to be like hell on earth because there was little to no true connection to ourselves or others.

        2. Yes exactly, there are as many ways of distracting and numbing ourselves to the deeper misery we otherwise feel in that lack of connection with ourselves and others as there are variation of colors in a spectrum.

227. Wow Luz, I know the techno parties you are talking about, I went to musician ones with live music but they had a very similar feel. Everyone is there with some sort of edge, and some sort of dynamic. If I was to walk through the place during the day when all of the commotion is gone then I would have felt totally different. One thing I clearly remember about waking into these places is that for a moment, before I walked in I felt something was really off about the place and continued to walk in, and people lose themselves inside these venus, it is like you have escaped from normal reality. That Is why people are so exhausted after going to pubs, clubs, parties and even the cinemas.

     1. Well said Harry, and that is why even if you attend these parties and choose to not take anything you still get affected by the energy of commotion of people and we cannot escape that.

     2. Very true, Harry. In clubs like the one that Luz describes, every single person is there with an agenda of some sort. From the DJ to the everyday folk, there is something that is wanted out of the experience, and that need for fulfilment or escape is being imposed upon everyone else in the place. It is exhausting!

228. “It is not surprising that we are more willing to experiment with a spiral of ups and downs in order to escape from how loveless the world feels.” We could add that we may also seek to escape the knowing of our contribution to the loveless world.

     1. Yes well said Melinda, there is far greater responsibility to be taken for the choices we make in life and the deeper reasons why we might make them. Without these understandings, we are left scratching our heads in feigned ignorance at the stupidity of our own choices. It indeed makes no sense, unless we hold accountable the part of us that does not in fact seek a true answer to our miseries and woes. That part of us seeks numbing, distraction or stimulation in order to not feel what is true, and any means will do just about… self-abuse is an inevitable part of this.

229. “What if every single person, were to claim and embrace this? We would probably get a taste of what trust, true connection and brotherhood feel like every time we get together and celebrate.” As we do when we get together in celebration at Universal Medicine presentations and workshops.

230. What is amazing about your blog Luz is the honesty and truth you bring to this partying lifestyle, and the real reasons why we go there. And from reading all the comments it is very inspiring to read the amount of truth and honesty coming through in all the comments too. It is time to take a very honest and truth-full look at why we make the choices we do, and only then will true and lasting change occur.

231. All I once lived for was to dance to ‘the Blues’, I would get lost in the music feeling that I was deeply connected because I could move to the beat. I was so empty inside. Such a lovely sharing Luz – when we truly connect to who we are it exposes those behaviours and makes us realise that highs, elation and emptiness are a thing of the past.

232. I remember the feelings that you describe here, Luz. I remember so often entering a club, the doors to the dance floor opening up, feeling the thumping bass wash over me, and giving a big sigh with the thought ‘here we go again’ going through my head. Amazing that you had the opportunity to revisit this again with the perspective that you now have, and have been able to see the deep layers of what is truly going on beneath the so-called glamour of so many party scenes.

233. This is very inspiring for those who know and feel the emptiness of this party lifestyle and wish to make true and lasting change in their lives.

     1. I agree Paula – I love how Luz has spelt out very clearly exactly what’s going on with everyone and the dynamics that are at play in the party lifestyle – I used to feel this when going out to pubs and discos as well. It’s all there to provide relief from what we’re feeling because of how disconnected we are in our daily lives.

234. Fabulous sharing Luz… love the honest reflections of your experience at the party – where you could have gone to i.e. back to old ways of behaving, and how you chose to observe and make different choices with the awareness you now have.

     1. Luz’s openness to go back to an experience and allow greater awareness of it is inspiring – the fact that she did not choose to go back to old ways is a confirmation of the foundation that she has laid over the last few years. Such a foundation needs to be appreciated immensely and comes from much self love and self care, dedication to self that then offers the strength to say no to those things that could have been tantalising in the past. Very cool!

235. This blog took me back to the years when I used to party in this way. I can remember how I felt when I was at a party or a night club – awkward, anxious, pretending I was loving it, shut off from people….It was a though I was trying to prove that I was having fun and that I loved being there but all of it felt false and for the following week I would feel horrible in many ways. Why did I continue to do this? I was seeking connection, brotherhood and I wanted to feel joy in my body – none of which I never even got close to, hence the hook to keep going back for more.

236. The best party is the one we have that originates from inside of us – the one where we re-connect first with the qualities of our essence and bring that forth and share all of us openly. When we live from this everything we do is fun and there is a true freedom in our movement. These movements align us to our next true movements that are full of the joy of who we are and what we have to share that is for humanity.

     1. “The best party is the one we have that originates from inside of us’ Love this saying Sandra so true… when we are with ourselves feeling the truth of who we are it is one big celebration and no about of outside parting will ever suffice.

237. I could re-quote pretty much every line in this blog. It is superb and riddled with golden wisdom. But this one shines out very bright for me…..”And how in this dense type of partying, nobody gets to evolve an inch from their insecurities and boredom in a lasting way, and nobody gets to truly connect with each other in true awareness and acceptance.” The craving for connection that you talk of is so spot on. It’s why MDMA exploded. It’s exactly why the music is designed as it is – with the euphoric piano breaks that the whole dance floor erupts to…everything about it is all about connection. Does it work? Well, when I was involved in that world we used to call Monday – “mournful Monday”, Tuesday – “tearful Tuesday” and Wednesday – “weeping Wednesday” – which tells you everything about how I felt in the days after a night of this kind of partying. Your brilliant blog exposes and expands on this. Thank you for bringing the conversation to the fore.

     1. You nail it when you describe how painful the weekdays were when you were involved in the parting life style, everything was a recovery and a build up to parting. Its crazy to think I lived like that for so long and considered it normal….

        1. Crazy – yes. But I also find it very important to really consider; the choices that I was making, the values that I had, the place that I was in – it’s a super powerful blog. It brings a real humility and focus to the choices that I am now making. And then when I consider that so much of humanity is still involved in this kind of thing (in different guises – but still the same) it again really focuses me. There is work to be done. We are a long, long way from the true connection that we all know and crave.

     2. Great comment Otto, people except the come down as part of the norm, same as a really bad hangover, the body is screaming at you that it was a really bad idea but something in the brain is somehow overriding the way we feel and tells us it was actually worth it for that fleeting moment of connection or that point in the night where we felt no pain.

238. ‘why not play it big, rather than partying big’ – that would be a great vocal in a club track!! re-time it, re-synth it, re-peat it. I can feel a smash hit coming on!!

     1. Totally!! The crazy stuff they put in those songs almost feels like its brainwashing you to party, be nice to have something inspiring you to live instead!

239. Entering any environment to which we belonged in the past, be it techno parties, a family gathering, a work place, school, or religious assembly, brings with it the feeling of familiarity, yet the strangeness of something we have distanced ourselves from. If we have truly changed our perspective on life, and found the Love that supports us from within, then the experience can be a valuable observation, and appreciation of our ability to remain ourselves in this situation, and even enjoy some aspects of it without becoming attached to it., To be open to the experience, as you were Luz, choosing love rather than old protective habits, without succumbing to its influences, is a way of learning to be in the world without damaging ourselves.

240. I am participated in many parties and I held one of the biggest parties in the party city of the Gold Coast, Australia. I look back on it and yes it was cool and I was cool on a ‘bender’ that went for 2 days however, the way I treated my body was terrible. I blanked out for many parts of the night in total disregard to the normal function of it let alone no harmony in my mind as I know it today. It makes sense why I kept going to not feel the devastation I was causing myself. I could go on …
     I recently attended a celebration after a Universal Medicine retreat and this was a party. I danced liked I normally do only this time I was dancing from how amazing I felt in my body with no drugs or any stimulation. The music was clear and non-imposing in its energy. The high I could hold from the beginning to the end with everyone around me feeling the same. We were dancing together from our bodies not a chemical warfare going on in our minds. We were dancing hard and having an amazing time.

241. “We can indeed think we get this momentarily and intensely through changeable waves, rides of ups and lows where we get to seemingly feel the pleasure of flowing smoothly in connection to the music and others, to then suddenly come down, feel estranged, unsettled and in need to connect back again.” This line feels like life when you are not connected to your Soul. Without your Soul you ‘think’ life is about ups and downs and thats normal. This is not normal – dance scene or the office they are no different and far from what is actually normal and true.

242. “I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” When we do this any self-abuse stands out clearly against this backdrop of loving behavior and we naturally stop subjecting ourselves to situations which are not self-loving. If we do feel abuse we are able to call it out and therefore not let it get to us.

243. Great blog Luz Helena I was reminded of years past of dancing most weekends and feeling connected with everyone just because we shared the same dance floor – in truth a complete movement away from ourselves and others. Connection with others is a most strong impetus but we can certainly get lost in the illusion of it.

244. I was at a celebration last night where there was no alcohol, no drugs, no DJ, just people connecting and expressing the joy of moving freely together to music that was not imposing or hooking. It’s such a contrast to the parties I used to go to where people needed to have few drinks to loosen up and there was very little connection once they had had a few, yet that is what people really are seeking and they know that the ‘high’ is false. It’s up to us to show people that it is possible to truly enjoy yourself by connecting in joy with other people without any false high needed.

245. Your blog Luz, remind me of when I used to go clubbing at every spare moment of the week. We would drink an enormous amount of alcohol in order to feel more confident to meet people and dance until the wee hours of the morning. This was a all a out on, a check out and served no true purpose at all. These days we are loving big rather than partying big and having more fun than ever.

246. When we focus on the hurt we tend to see only one way out of the hole – to numb ourselves with drugs, alcohol or watching endless TV. This way we convince ourselves that we are not worthy of more – and yet when we begin to seek within we find that everything is there for us – the most amazing life that brings us back to who we are and the type of connection that is true and forever sustainable, as we allow ourselves to unfold into something so much grander.

     1. Well said Susan, what we are looking for is within

247. We have so many false images about what it means to connect with each other. Let’s face it, it would be nearly impossible to connect with others at a techno party with all the noise, drugs, alcohol etc. It is a false sense of connection that occur which often leaves a person worse off than ever.

     1. Thats right Elizabeth, techno parties, pubs and nightclubs would have to be the places to go for disconnection to self and others

     2. Agreed – looking for connection in an escape is never truly going to happen.

248. Great blog Luz showing the emptiness of the club scene. This line stood out for me because from my own experience I know my life would have been different if I had chose more wisely during my teenage years….. “What sort of adulthood would we have if we were to choose our time and dedications wisely during our teenage years?” I used my teenage years to test the world and see what it had to offer, I pushed the boundaries to see how far I could go but I was not really taught what responsibility meant or to take responsibility for my own life. What if we learnt responsibility from an early age, knowing that this will support us in adulthood? We would have a very different world to the one we have now, one that is more understanding caring and brings more honesty to how we are really living….checked out and looking for our next buzz or fix that keeps us distracted from finding out who we truly are and what we are here to bring.

249. The title of this blog makes me giggle. It seems ridiculous that we should be ‘seeking’ anything at a techno party! However, as much as it may seem ridiculous, it is a way of trying to find some sense of meaning in life. In this case it was techno parties, but this could be replaced with any other activity that we do to search for something. Seeking comes from an emptiness, but it seems that the more we seek, the more empty we become and so we seek some more. A vicious circle that does not allow us to see the truth. The searching just keeps us separate from who we are.

250. I can also remember how miserable I felt when I was at night clubs, I could never hear a word anyone would say and hated it when someone would shout something in my ear to make me hear. They were not places I felt at home, but I would return again, once the memory of how much I hated it would fade or someone chose to celebrate an occasion it this particular way.

     1. I used to love going to night clubs when I was very young, I loved the thrill on getting past the bouncers and thought of how old I must look and was so proud that I was seen as “mature”. Once I turned 18 and was legally allowed into clubs, most of the thrill was gone and I too hated people shouting in my ear.
        I spent most of my time in the toilets of these places just in order to be able to have a conversation.

251. “…a huge feast of disregard, illusion and glamour” To see and feel so much of this in one place, particularly when you are not under the influence of drugs or school can be intense. It’s a moment where and when you get to see and feel how far we are and truly how lost we have become…and unless we are prepared to take responsibility for this then it becomes a much easier choice to just indulge in it some more than have to feel the very harsh and humbling reality of it all.

252. Super exposing of the party and drug scene Luz. This and many other facets of life are simply distractions to keep us on an endless empty search for the missing something – never realising that what is missing is a true connection with ourselves.

     1. Absolutely Lee, and people spend years and lifetimes on this search and explore every avenue life has to offer, but nothing has shown people true connection to themselves except Universal Medicine.

253. An absolutely brilliant blog Luz. Thank you deeply for bringing this truth to the world through your learning and also exposing the entire untruth about this false way of connecting and all the harm it causes our bodies when we choose it.

254. “I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.”
     Such simple but powerful ways of appreciating ourselves and others.

255. ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?’ …… this is a message we can deliver, through our livingness, leading by example. Inspiring and powerful words, thank you Luz Helena.

256. Thank you, Luz Helena, you expose, so brilliantly, what is really going on when we’re leaving ourselves behind in sear of a ‘good time’, which is anything but.

257. Wow it just shows how lost we become when we feel we are not it and seek substances, situations and everything else outside of us to try to connect and find love in the world. I never went to techno parties, but I did get lost in the bar and drinking scene and can remember quite clearly feeling under all the drinking was a deep seeded need to connect and keep up. The day I said no to that life, was the day I said yes to me. Love and connection don’t come from these places, you don’t feel better in yourself when you drink or take drugs (because you are not yourself) you are merely escaping. Thank you Luz for exposing the truth, that true connection comes from loving yourself first.

258. Yes true, this false bonds developed while intoxicated with other substances don’t last as they are not built on a true connection that deepens and grows as we do.

259. When we know what love is, we then see and feel what is not love and some things, like techno parties stand out particularly. It can be confronting seeing something that is obvious but others being oblivious, like being the only one to see an elephant in the room – with everybody avoiding the place where the elephant is but nobody being consciously aware of its existence.

260. Years ago after a relationship breakup, a friend gave me a CD of an artist who had written it following his own traumatic relationship breakup. He has an amazing and unusual voice, writes what I considered great music with loads of emotion (which back then I thought was a good thing). There was one song in particular that each time I listened to it, I’d be straight back into the feeling of sadness and despair about my own relationship breakup. The physical feelings were so very strong. My chest would feel hard, heavy and would ache, and after a while I stopped listening to it but the hook to go back to it was strong because I loved the sound of his voice and the melody. It was very very hooking.

     1. Ah! The break-up song, or the road-trip song, or the ‘that night’ song. I have many songs in my life that remind me specifically of one event. And I used to actively go to these songs to try to re-create that feeling. It’s exactly the same as going back to the dance floor of a techno party. Once we have lost that true connection with ourselves, we will use any tool available to feed us illusionary re-connections; even to the bad times, like relationship breakdowns.

        1. We go to the familiar feeling, something that is known even if it is sadness that is triggered from a song that reminds us of a relationship breakup. It’s a trap – we look back on what we had through rose-coloured glasses and yearn for it again, but the truth is, it wasn’t a true connection in the first place – if it was, the break up wouldn’t be seen as sad, it would be seen as something necessary for both parties in their own evolution.

        2. A great exposure Sandra. The selective vision with which we look back at un-loving relationships is the ultimate in comfort seeking or irresponsibility..and denies both parties of the opportunity of evolution. It’s not that we have to beat ourselves up, or entrench ourselves in shame or guilt. But, we do need to be honest about what we were living. And then have the courage to step forward in that honesty and commit to making the changes. No judgement, just evolution.

        3. Absolutely Otto, it can be very healing to look back at a situation and be very honest about where we were at at that time, and see our contribution for whatever took place.

        4. I agree Sandra. But I also feel that it is more than just honesty. I have found that honesty doesn’t necessarily inspire me or induce me to change my choices. What supports me is to really feel it – and for that I need to get beyond honesty – to the truth. It may seem like semantics, but my feeling is that there is a very important difference. Honesty can be an external, factual wordy-thingy. I have so often been ‘honest’ and have stopped there – choosing to not see more, to go deeper. Truth is a feeling in the body. Do you see what I mean? Am I making sense? It’s a very important difference because I have seen myself and very many others get stuck in honesty. There is more.

261. It can be said, we seek connection in all of the places that are out there, but don’t look within and see it is there, and waiting for us to live what is already inside us.

262. “I could feel there was actually a high level of separation, jealousy, anxiousness, self-consciousness and looking for the ‘right one’ going on, all confirming our separated state and creating an oscillation between attraction and repulsion to others while seeking to keep up the good vibe.” That feels so sad to me, Luz, I can feel the desperation that those attending this techno party were feeling in their need to find the ‘right one’, in this scene. It all is so emotional, quite disturbing actually, hardly the scene to be finding a true partner for life. How sad it is that young and not so young people feel that they can solve all their issues in this way, it is purely a distraction from all the things that they are unhappy about in their lives. A really exposing sharing in your blog, Luz, thank you.

263. A great insight of a scene I have no knowledge of but which is resonant of how I would feel at many ‘scenes’ that were prevalent in my youth (a long time ago). The music was always something used to take me somewhere else and escape the feeling of isolation within the crowd. All part of a desperate seeking for something outside of myself. It is sobering to reflect on the desperation to fit in that we all feel and the illusory ‘remedies’ on offer that do nothing to resolves the core yearning that we have to truly connect to ourselves and others.

     1. Beautifully said Anne… it is the emptiness we feel in all areas of our lives that drives us to try and fill it with something, when if we were to be honest, our deepest yearning is true and loving connection with ourselves and with others.

264. I spent many nights at nightclubs in my late teens and early twenties in the 80s in the UK…that was the meeting place for us then. We would meet at the pub or a bar first to get things going and then go onto the local nightclub. It was an era of artists such as Madonna and we drank sweet combinations like Southern Comfort and coke. It appeared to be a fun time. A few drinks, good friends, new boyfriends, no drugs and lots of dancing. But if it was such a great time, why did I come home from a night out and binge eat, and why did I smoke cigarettes while I was out? I was desperately trying to fill the emptiness I felt from the lack of connection I had with myself, and therfore with others.

     1. Exactly. Look at the way it feels the day after. Emptiness, loneliness, insecurity – quite apart from the physical sickness of the hang-over. For years I experienced this. What did I do about it? – go partying again – to try to fill the void and override the sickness It’s a spiral that I went round and round for years and years. Until one day, I stopped and looked at it. Then I gave up drinking – for the very simple reason that I was fed up of losing hours and days to feeling so dreadful. Soon after that, I met Serge Benhayon and this was the beginning of understanding and experiencing true connection to myself and others.

        1. That spiral ottobathurst can be experienced in many situations – how many people are thinking about their next holiday as soon as they return from one? Or the weekend is over and the next one is being planned and looked forward to. The high from the holiday, party or good times and then the crash of everyday life that follows and the body’s honesty at what was done to it during the good times.

        2. Oh yes, oh yes Sandra. Escapism breeds more escapism. I was once given a greeting card by someone. It was three cartoon panels depicting a man in a suit gradually climbing a mountain…when he gets to the top he finds an identical version of himself. The tag line – “George was very disappointed when he ‘found’ himself” The constant searching outside of ourselves, or the pursuit of holidays, distractions, sports or whatever…all of this keeping us away from the absolute joy and stillness that resides in us all.

265. This is a great blog Luz – it really nails the alienation and disconnection that is really going on in these situations – and the false idea of fun that perpetuates with drugs and alcohol. I feel a whole body cringe just at the thought of stepping into one of those scenes.

266. Thank you for a very interesting blog here, Luz, being a much older person who did not experience this sort of party, it was quite an eye-opener for me. The description of the outing actually felt very disturbing in my body, and as a person who does not like loud music and never has, I doubt that I would ever have felt comfortable in this scene. I thank God that I did not have it around when I was young, I can see how people can get hooked into the falsehood of this scene. I love your comment, “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” That feels a beautiful way to truly come back to yourself, the ways you listed are the true ways to come back to yourself. I have found those are the ways that I use when I lose myself during the day, not with partying, but the other distractions and little happenings that can so easily take us away from ourselves if we allow it. Thank you for your sharing.

267. You paint the emptiness of a certain party scene so evocatively which is replicated in so many other forms of ‘entertainment’ where we kid ourselves we are looking for connection when all we are doing is cementing the disconnection from ourselves and others even further. I love how you have turned that around by choosing ‘self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.’

268. There are so many ways that we can choose our preferred way to “party big” or distract our selves in private, or many many activities in between. If we were honest there are all ways to seek a connection or protection from or with people. All bring the same result; we are looking for something outside of ourselves. It’s what is inside of us that truly holds the connecting we crave and with that knowing the need for protection falls away. Sounds kind of simple and it is if we let it and start to live and walk in a way that we know this to be true. In giving it a try there is only true experience to be gained.

269. Stunning blog Luz Helena – thank you.

270. “. . . we are more willing to experiment with a spiral of ups and downs in order to escape from how loveless the world feels. “ This is such a true and clear fact that has the power stop many of us in our tracks to honestly ask ourselves “Why would we choose to hurt myself rather than appreciate what is already lovely with-in me?” What is the force that we walk in to choose loveless behavior that harms us all?

     1. Sandra I know the feeling and choice of choosing the ups and downs rather than the consistency life can be, simply because, as Luz has shared it means I can stay in “my” issues or dramas and not need to look at the bigger picture, yet not wanting to feel the state of the world simply means we all stay with little changing. For we can only choose to change what we choose to see.

271. I can remember going to discos in my 20s and the word that comes to mind after reading your blog is ‘escape.’ It was my treat at the end of a week. It was a place I could temporarily forget how miserable I was and zone out for a few hours dancing non-stop until the early hours. This way of living was enough to keep me going for years, yo-yoing from lows during the week, to highs at the weekend. Eventually I started to look for more meaning. Finding my way back to me was the best gift ever. Having a life I no longer want to escape from is quite an amazing turnaround that I truly appreciate.

272. The whole party scene of this generation is perfectly designed to nurse the insecurity, lack of self esteemed, self loathing, and self abuse of young people today as normal, a collaboration of checked out youngsters finding solace in the dark, smokey, haze of digital lights and booming electronic music, devoid of true light even after the sun has come up on the dance floor.

     1. I agree with your remarks here, Giselle, I cannot see how any true relationship could be built from this example of what a techno party is about. It would seem it is all about ‘bonding’, but what true bonding could occur in this scene, everything feels so completely artificial. There is no true connection that I could imagine, other than 2 people who may flee together from the scene, to find a much more conducive place to get to know one another in a true fashion out in the natural world maybe. But any true relationship has to begin first from a very deep and loving relationship with oneself, then for each to come together from that point to an unconditional love for each other.

     2. Well said, Giselle, it’s very disturbing how normal it has become to pop a few pills at these raves/festivals, with no regard to what it’s actually doing to the person, not just physically, but energetically. We have the makings of another ‘lost generation’, as in disconnected from self and each other.

     3. Absolutely Giselle. I totally agree.

     4. The ultimate escape, especially when the majority is doing it.

273. What would happen? We would have a completely different society, one where young people would get to grow up knowing who they are, not looking for any fix to fill the longing and emptiness of not.

274. Luz this is an amazing blog. This is surely what we have all experienced in ‘nights out’. You bring much clarity to the experience.

275. I remember when I used to go to parties to feel a ‘part of things’, I thought it was what I had to do to join society, to be normal. But i never made the grade, as a part of me always felt uncomfortable, false and under pressure to perform. It was empty, devoid of any true connection and love and totally trashed my body..Thank God times have changed and I have the most beautiful intimate relationships with people and the parties/ get togethers we have nurture my being and fill me with appreciation, warm my heart. Thank you Serge Benhayon for showing me the difference and how to be real and true in life..

     1. What is amazing Jenny is that now I realise that to have a party is a celebration. It is not blinding myself to what I am feeling by getting intoxicated, and having a party is definitely not about feeling terrible the next day. Now when I celebrate and dance with my friends there is an honouring of each other, and it feels so, SO much better than hiding myself away in a dark room with flashing lights and a bunch of strangers.

276. Techno has never been my ‘thing’ but partying with alcohol and marijuana most certainly was and for exactly the same reasons as have been described in this blog.
     Some people may not take drugs but will try to connect through lavish dinners, over indulging in desserts as a way of connecting through eating beyond what they need or any of the other myriad of harmful ways we humans may choose.
     As I recognised the desperate need within me to connect more deeply with everyone in my life I began to heal all the reasons I was holding onto why I couldn’t.
     I now live a drug free life and have recently been to the most amazing party at the Lennox Head Retreat where I danced and connected with everyone in the room (over 300 of us) without any stimulants but with the joy and celebration of choosing connection before anything else.

277. Luz -what an amazing turnaround and miracle experienced, from being completely lost and empty to now knowing who you are from inside out. All because of choosing “self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care “

278. “in this dense type of partying, nobody gets to evolve an inch from their insecurities and boredom in a lasting way, and nobody gets to truly connect with each other in true awareness and acceptance.”- so true Luz. People are looking for an escape of the tension they feel within.
     No true connection is found from being amongst a crowd of people listening to music which evokes emotions and disconnection, with heavy drinking and drugs – only further separation.

279. I have never been to a Techno Party but I used to attend discos where there were flashing lights under the dance floor (1970s) and very loud music that got louder and louder as the night progressed. I loved dancing and would be up most of the evening, getting hotter and hotter and dripping with sweat, thinking I was having a great time. What I love about the parties I attend now is the music is not imposing, my body loves moving with it, they do not go on beyond my bed time and best of all, there is no alcohol and yet everybody has a great time.

     1. Now they’re the kind of parties every body deserves to be treated to, (yet perhaps with warning that once your body has felt that joy there is no going back to the parties of old:))

280. “I felt miserable straight away, but I decided I could observe it from a different perspective in the short time I was going to stay, and without my usual investments and expectations from the past” Yes when we learn to feel our self-worth, know who we are and trust in our own feelings, it starts to become very simple to detach from situations we would be fully emerged in before. It is then easy to observe what is truly going on and if we want to take part of it or not. This is true freedom which begins with the act of self-love.

     1. This is so true Lieke, ‘when we learn to feel our self-worth, know who we are and trust in our own feelings, it starts to become very simple to detach from situations we would be fully emerged in before’, I have noticed that if I now go to a a party or social gathering I observe much more now, i stand steady in who I am whereas before I would have been in self-doubt, wanting to talk with people and make friends and not wanting to be seen to be alone, it feels great to not have these emotions and to be at ease in social situations now.

281. ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear….’ Love what you say here Luz.

282. There is a lot in the news at the moment in Holland around xtc pills and that this is a very common drug among young people. Also stating that this drug is ‘not that bad’ and not addictive. What surprises me in all the news articles, is that nobody is asking the question: why do we need these drugs? Apart from the fact what it does and how much people are taking drugs, we should ask ourselves what is going on that we need drugs to have so called good time and to feel connected…

     1. Agree Mariette, over all the years of reporting about drug use, the equation has largely not been asked “why is this here in the first place?” This is game changing.

283. You were game, going back to a techno party – even just the noise and thumping from miles away can be enough to turn one off. But you are right, there is something that we seek to get from these events and other people but it doesn’t eventuate, actually gets drowned out and forgotten.

     1. I agree Gabriele – very game indeed and what an interesting experience it turned out to be. Recently when in a shop music came on that had the beat I used to love to dance to. I could feel my body responding like it used to and in that split second much of what I felt from those party years came up. Not wanting to deal with them I squashed it all back down again. Eek! This blog has helped me revisit this time of my life.

284. Given that the majority of people ‘hook up’ with another under these circumstances, it is no wonder that a true relationship does not develop, because not only do they not meet the true other, they are not presenting the true them either. It’s a viscous circle, people go to escape, but really they are seeking the connection they’ve lost.

     1. This becomes part of the reason people go to such events regularly, the perception that they are connected to something and others when they are there. There is a powerful consciousness around such parties and events – it’s just not that which most attendees believe it to be.

        1. I agree Michael, parties are often seen of a way to have a bit of fun, but at what price does it come?

285. ‘In my experience I can say I lost invaluable time and life-force in this way of life’. These are the experiences that we need to talk about and share with our younger generation. Say how it really was/is and this one line you have written is something I feel does just that as that is exactly what I know and feel about how I lived my life and that I too lost invaluable time and life-force which cost me financially, emotionally, physically and on so many other levels. I wasted so much precious time and missed so many years of truly playing it big and connecting with all of me and bringing what I have. No regrets, but an honesty in seeing, feeling and knowing this. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have helped me get my life back on track in more ways than one.

     1. This is really big Vicky. It feels responsible to simply converse with those younger than ourselves (when the opportunity presents itself) and just speak this truth you have written here, what a blessing and what is waiting is priceless.

286. In re-reading this blog today I can clearly remember wanting to escape those bright flashing lights, and the thumping of loud music that vibrated every corner of the building and my body. But what held me in those situations was indeed that underlying craving for recognition and the draw to connect to others. Yet the following day to feel so isolated with a pounding head, painful pulsing in my ears, sore throat from inhaling all that coloured smoke and an aching body from all those exaggerated body movements dancing. This was just at the local disco, clearly remember saying to myself ‘was it worth it’. To now having a connection of a different variety, connection to self is number one as this naturally extends to include all others. Now that is worth celebrating. No flashing lights or loud music required.

287. Music can really feel like a weapon to my body. Sometimes I have to leave shops because the ‘music’ is so loud and heavy to my body that I feel attacked. In the past I did choose this in a party or in a disco and gave myself to it, thought I enjoyed it. But in fact I did put myself on a track of illusion, checked out to not feel my miserable way of living, to not take responsibility. The music did offer me a bonding/getting out of ‘reality’ for a moment. Today these ‘offers’ are not welcome anymore to me – I appreciate this reflection. It shows my development.

     1. Yes, I can totally relate to this Sandra – music can feel like a weapon being used against the body and it never ceases to amaze me how people ever manage to work full time in these shops with music blaring out so loudly. It is totally numbing and exhausting. Far from inviting me in to enjoy and ‘bond’ with the products in the shop, it is a guaranteed way for me to step into the shop and step out ever faster!

288. Your story Luz makes me recall the few occasions I would end up in a club and how at the time I knew it wasn’t it and that being there was just a hugely empty and unfulflling experience, and had I been honest at the time I would have stopped the search I had to fit in and accepted that what I really wanted was to be home in bed. And the only reason I wasn’t was due to the normality of the scene, that I was young and that was what we do.

289. Luz this is reveals so much about what goes on and ” the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others – that we believe these experiences are natural, true fun and a great way to feel connected to life and people.” You offer another way and the truth about missing ourselves and the love and oneness we all truly are and miss. An inspirational blog.

     1. Yes Tricia. It does show what goes on in this one area and there are also many other areas that similar false connections happen eg at the pub, getting together to drink and watch footy, church gatherings and the list goes on. But what it does prove is that people are seeking connection yet seemingly in all the wrong areas and I love the way Luz has shared her reconnecting back to herself, truth and life. I can vouch as a student of The Way of the Livingness that it is a true joyful yet very real way forward to be. Thank God for Serge Benhayon and all he has presented about who we are truly are and life.

290. The amazing thing is that we must know who we are and that we are missing it, otherwise how would we know to seek it?

     1. That’s lovely Meg, ” . . .how would we know to seek it?” It’s true that all the people at these sorts of parties are seeking a connection with themselves and others, and they need the drugs and alcohol to distract themselves from the sense of separation from something they know is there but do not know how to access because they are looking out instead of in.

        1. Beautiful said Meg and Sandra. Without the loss of connection that we all innately feel, there would be no drug industry. Inspiring to flip it on its head like this. More proof that we do ALL know that there is more.

     2. Agree Meg. On some level, we feel our grandness, our beauty and our love, but it is clouded and hidden. What we see with our eyes ends up being the false version of the truth we all know.

     3. Well said Meg.

     4. Great point Meg… we do know – we are just choosing not to know!

     5. Ahaha Meg I agree and it is so good to share your insight – what an inspiration.

     6. Spot on Meg!

     7. Great point Meg…..and seek it we do, only looking in all the places that confirm the illusion of separation until we hit the wall and wake up to the realisation that nothing is changing, only feeling that the desperation and isolation is deeper and more entrenched and we are in a state of being numb and too exhausted to continue in this vein – this is the opportunity to begin our search to return to the true connection within.

291. Most of us in so called “western” societies spend at least a decade of their life partying. Our bodies are still young and we buy into the illusion that the harm just lasts as long as we can feel the hangover. How blind do we pretend to be! If we were to see the true damage that we cast upon ourselves for lifetimes, would we consider another way?

     1. Exactly Felix. And to add to that we are actually wasting years that are designed for us to be laying foundations for our self and life. We end up spending years playing catch up for the lost years. What a devolving set up our society has fallen for.

     2. Interestingly the stop it takes for ourselves to see the very real damage and consequences of these unloving choices is taken care of if we choose to dismiss the call for it.

292. For me such parties were always about escape and the ‘connection’ with others at them was only actually a shared sense of this. It feels as though whatever is felt as connection at such an event is not true but in actual fact just a group of people brought together with similar interests of escape, numbness and stimulation not to feel the worlds as it is, helped along by the powerful effects of drugs and alcohol.

293. Its so bizarre the lengths we go to to achieve a false sense of bonding and connection when we can have the real McCoy with absolutely no damage caused to our absolutely amazing vehicles of expression.

294. I remember all those nights out, completely lost in the haze and the disruption of the intoxication. A stranger to myself amongst strangers at a party. The driving force of this being a deeply seated lack of self worth.

     1. Love this comment Shami, ‘a stranger to myself amongst strangers at a party’. This explains it so well. Lost in the ocean with many others all searching for the same thing, connection.

        1. So true Kim…”A stranger to myself amongst strangers at a party.” that is a great line, and observing this as Luz has so beautifully shared, one wonders why we don’t see and feel this when we are there? Perhaps we do feel it, but part of us over-rides this, labels it fun and indulges in the intoxication of emotions… all at the detriment of our bodies. If we were truly and honestly connected to our bodies we wouldn’t go there.

     2. I agree and when you are in that you are totally disrespectful to the body, there is an arrogance of ‘I can do what I like’ regardless of the repercussions this has to the body.

        1. Totally Kristy, we put our focus on the so called connection that we do have, that we turn a blind eye in arrogance to the disregard we have for our bodies.

     3. I’m not even sure if Techno music was around when I was growing up, but I used to venture out to nightclubs in search of ‘togetherness’, looking for connection, with a sense of excitement and anticipation only to leave exhausted and even more alone than I did before, unless the alcohol pumping through my veins was still numbing that realisation. I feel so blessed that I am no longer searching, appreciating every day the beautiful connection with myself and everyone else.

     4. And this is the reflection (and it’s progressingly getting worse) that our young are showing us through there behaviours. We need to ask as a whole what is happening ?

     5. Precisely Shami “A stranger to myself amongst strangers at a party.” There was a time when I would have denied feeling this, yet is it unequivocally true. We delude ourselves into thinking that we are connecting, having a good time, that taking drugs and dancing all night doesn’t harm anyone else. There came a point though when I stopped taking the drugs and I can clearly remember standing in a night club one day, looking down on the party from a balcony observing how disconnected and lost we all felt and feeling how pointless the whole thing was. When we are empowered to truly connect with ourselves, claim our self worth and nurture ourselves once more, it is very possible to make very beautiful and rewarding friendships without any of the usual social props such alcohol, drugs, raves or techno parties and have just as much fun without harming ourselves or others via the currently accepted forms of self abuse we call “entertainment”.

295. What a great moment of realisation this was Luz: “I had jumped back into the illusion of recognition and identity, to then fall back into: “what the hell am I doing here?” and could be applied to many moments in our lives when we slip back into old, and usually destructive patterns and behaviours.

     1. So true Ingrid. The catching ourself with ” what on earth am I doing here?” can be applied to so many scenarios. I recall having these thoughts often when I would be standing in the middle of a heaving mass of drunk and out of it people, but most of the times ignored this inner prompt, as at the time I did not consider there was any other way. It is a blessing to have many people who are living in a way that shows the world there is indeed a loving, honouring and joyful way to be that does not require getting intoxicated, checking out and abusing our bodies.

296. There is no shortcut to connection, no “quick fix”, no drug or song or book that will give it to you. Connection is a way of living, deepened by the choices made in each and every moment.

     1. Great point Hannah. Partying, drugs and dance beats can give us a momentary high which also comes with the low, but they are a far cry from the true connection that comes through a way of living.

        1. Yes Donna, crazy that we would settle for a drug-induced “moment” of connection when we could choose to live connection in every moment of our day.

        2. Perfectly said Donna, we would only need a high when we were living at a low.

     2. Wow, we should have this as a quote on all fridges!

     3. Yes, connection is indeed a way of living and as we have just learnt and experienced at the amazing Universal Medicine 2016 retreats it is not only available to us each moment but also in each movement. The energy and connection with which we move will be the energy and connection that meets the other. So there may indeed be connections at techno parties but you have to ask yourself what kind of connections are you offering and receiving? Are these connections that will harm or heal our bodies? Are these connections that will bring love and vitality to our bodies or connections that briefly stimulate us but overall drain and suck our energy leaving us exhausted and in need of more stimulation?

     4. Well said Hannah, having connection as a way of living allows us to access the wisdom of the universe.

        1. Indeed it does Francisco, so you have to wonder why we would choose to live any other way?!

     5. Absolutely Hannah, and no one can or will do it for us, it has to be chosen by ourselves.

     6. “Connection is a way of living, deepened by the choices made in each and every moment.” This is what we need to be taught and shown from very young… then there wouldnt be the destructive and abusive ways we currently see in todays society. Thank God for Serge Benhayon who is showing there is another way to live – with true connection.

     7. So true Hannah.

        I remember partying and picking what I would take to ensure a good night no matter how I’d lived up to that point. Connection takes loving dedication and awareness of what supports it and what sabotages it. Connection is about responsibility whereas partying is about having a good time regardless of ones unloving choices – an arrogance that believes it can avoid the consequences of unloving actions. I don’t have to be into partying to have this mentality – definitely one to watch.

        1. Wow Karin, I love what you’ve shared here. And you’re so on the money, we don’t have to be partying to be falling for the “I’ll do that to make me feel good/better rather than address how I’m living” mentality. Definitely one to watch.

297. The effect on our body of nightclubs is extreme – have you ever been to one and woken feeling like your body is trashed beyond measure, depleted and low? This may well be a clear sign to ask ourselves what is truly going on, on all levels.

     1. Your comment Deborah highlights how ridiculous it all is. Yet when we are stuck in the illusion and held by it, ridiculous is the last thing we think it is.

        1. Great point Nikki.. although somewhere deep inside us we know it isn’t true – we just choose to over-ride, avoid and or ignore that feeling.

        2. We are masterful at playing games to convince ourselves of this or that and to justify our choices at all costs when we each know clearly that it is a game we play and are fully aware of the games played by all, as to we are equally knowing of our greatness and the divinity of all.

     2. Deborah, your comment reminds me of the feeling I had the next day, I was bereft and felt tired, thrashed (even if I hadn’t drunk a lot or used drugs) and I felt despair. Nothing had changed except that my body now felt even worse and I lost that day. So no relief there, but still I went as my friends did and I so desperately wanted to belong, yet I denied myself the one belonging that was my right, my connection to myself. I thrashed myself and my body to fit in and did nothing for myself or others in the process, it’s a fool’s game and the fact is we can do it in many ways, nightclubs are one extreme but we also do it in how we treat ourselves at home, in work and all around us. I no longer do nightclubs and it’s a huge relief not to, and my body thanks me for it, the continuing journey is to keep honouring the body and what it feels and find any places where I might still ‘thrash’ it no matter how small.

        1. Absolutely, very well said Monica.
           This is not isolated to a nightclub – we are forever in a sea of energy and if we give ‘us’ away to a situation, person or need then we will be far from our essence, unlikely to discern what is before us and taking on far more than we may care to realise.

     3. Actually what makes us go back for more ‘pummelling’ when we clearly are trashed by it? Is it that we are seeking connection without responsibility which we are misguided to think of as freedom to express. We take the easy way, which the energy once engaged leads to other forms of distraction. Realising there is a choice of another way is the beginning of true freedom.

        1. Merrilee, I love that you called this out, ‘wanting connection without responsibility’; that is something I often do, and reading this today reminds me that if I want to connect and feel me, I will be aware of everything I feel and at times I may not like what that is; to understand and know that all that I feel in the world I’ve at various times allowed or engaged in, and that to change that we need to be responsible in all we do, and recognise that it’s not just about us. When we try and make connection without responsibility we’re trying to make it just about it, we’re coming at it from the point of view of me and mine, and not the wider whole we’re all part of – we’re trying to personalise it. We have a responsibility to that whole, which includes us and our bodies, and our responsibility is to live in our bodies with the greatest awareness possible without judgement or perfection.

     4. Yes, this is true Deborah and not only nightclubs – after attending an outdoor concert a few years ago where families were set up with elaborate picnic tables and coolers full of alcoholic beverages surrounding our table (which had no alcohol). The following day was a complete write off – totally exhausted and feeling completely trashed as if I had been drinking alcohol all night and still two days later feeling exceedingly fragile and wobbly in my nervous system.
        “have you ever been to one and woken feeling like your body is trashed beyond measure, depleted and low?”

        1. And this need not only apply to environments in which there is alcohol or drugs. We live in a sea of energy 24/7 and taking on another’s emotion equally has the same effect.

298. I agree that nightclubs and the party scene are deliberately hooking and yet it is us who seeks all that is on offer to dull us, pummel us and bathe ourselves in our self made misery. If we were truly seeking joy and true connection would we be frequenting these scenes?

     1. Deborah I love your description – so true nightclubs etc do ‘pummel us.’ It’s a crazy combination of being numbed out whilst what stimulation to make us feel alive. Torn in all directions.

        1. A battlefield of sorts. We adorn our threads and knowingly put our bodies on the line.

     2. Very true.

299. I remember being 16, I loved dancing at the front of these raves, close to the DJ, there a was a bottle of water or energy drink, a glow stick, glitter and something bright and fluffy. Eyes dilated like black moons, white t-shirt glowing like the stars, it all seemed so glamorous but what this blog exposes is that it was most defiantly not glamorous. These underground techno parties were a weekly event and chasing a connection that I inevitably would have to come down from was how I lived my life. I am so thankful for Universal Medicine, through having healing sessions and attending the incredible presentations on offer, I was supported out of the endless up and down party lifestyle and into a rich and fulling career and dedicated family life with true connection and meaning.   

300. The party scene provides a smorgasbord of emotion, indulgence and feeds our irresponsibility- we can escape the truth and reality of how we have lived our lives or indeed how life is lived but it replaces one misery for another. Seeking to fill void with that which will guarantee a deeper divide between all that is true and the contrary that we are living.

     1. So true Deborah… we seek one misery for another in the hope that maybe this one will fix us, and or fix our lives, make us feel better – but the ‘better’ has a dishonesty that will never bring true and lasting change. It is only when we are prepared to be totally honest as to why we behave the way we do, and to feel the impact on our bodies, that we start to come out of the misery and bring loving choices into our lives… and joy replaces misery.

     2. Gorgeous Mary bringing it back to connecting to our Soul and God. That is all we need .. and to be open to others.

     3. You touch on a super important point here Mary. We sometimes feel as though we have found ‘it’, be it when we’re having a ‘great time’ partying, drinking, doing drugs etc., but the next day we wake up and the emptiness feeling returns. But does it actually ‘return’? Or did these distractions do exactly what they were designed to – distract us away from feeling our bodies and make us think that we have found ‘it’, when love is still nowhere to be seen.

     4. Escape is the perfect word to describe it. Escape from responsibility, from what we know inside to be true, the misery of our disconnected way of living.

301. Oh my goodness – I felt all of this Luz. The anxiety of entering a huge dance party and how was I going to fit in, the comparison, the harshness, the wanting to belong, the longing to numb myself and the euphoria of doing so, the supposed joy of dancing and the coming down after, the exhaustion of spending my life force this way. In your dance party it was all there to feel. There was an enormous investment in having that great time and I feel now, and I knew then, that the connection I felt was really a disconnection from everyone as I was really only aware of myself, a false self numbed-and the next day was lonely and desolate.
     There is so much appreciation within me for Serge Benhayon and The Way of The Livingness. It has shown me the connection I can have with myself and others all of the time. There is no drug and no drink that can match the connection I feel with myself and others because of The Way of The Livingness. There is a beautiful warmth and fire that comes with this connection. I understand how, in this world, that these big dance parties have great appeal and call people in – yet it is necessary, to survive them, to numb out in some way because the disconnection within them is painfull to feel.
     There is no substitute for true connection and true love.

     1. Well said, Amanda …. ‘There is no substitute for true connection and true love.’ …. no, there isn’t, there could never be a substitute for something that is already divine.

        1. Nothing beats the beauty of our own connection. No music, lights, drink, drug, food or person. Nothing.

     2. I completely agree with you Luz and Amanda. I wonder how many would attend these parties if they could really see what is going on and in energetically. Much more harm happens than meets our eyes or ears when we numb ourselves and chose not to see or sense, and equally much more healing and joy happens than we can imagine when we start living the teachings of Serge Benhayon and The Way of the Livingness. The greatest party you could ever attend!

        1. “The greatest party you could ever attend!” This made me smile Nicola – absolutely the greatest party… ongoing everyday, full of love, true connection and joy 🙂

302. Luz one more thing that has become apparent is how dance music configures the body to move in particular ways. When young people dancing to dance music now, they are moving in exactly the same way that we did 30 years ago. Exactly the same angles in the body.

     1. Alexis this goes to show that it is the beat that is moving them as if they were puppets. That sort of music dictates the moves and it is not natural to the body nor is it in harmony with it.

     2. Great point Alexis… the configuration don’t go away after the weekend of dancing and so this begs the question – how are these configurations affecting our bodies on a daily basis?

        1. This is interesting Paula, doing something that is out of harmony with our bodies leaves an imprint. Even at a party with no drugs or alcohol I’ve still experienced a hangover, could it be that from music and movement that is not in harmony causes a configuration in the body too?

303. ‘How different would it be to normalise the fact that there is an inner-heart within each human being that can be nourished and honoured through the way we appreciate, accept and live our lives?’

     Just this sentence would have changed my need to have gone out and partied like I did, desperate for connection; knowing it was somewhere but no-one wanting to go there and me deciding I was never going to be the one going there. Do I normalise the fact we each have an inner heart 100% with myself, with everyone I meet?

304. I remember priding myself on hanging out in the most unsavory of places with people who were not themselves thinking it was exciting (which is was compared to feeling depressed, angry or and numb most of the time).

     I thought I was tough and clever but I had very little self-worth and was so naive to the fact that I was being used – not so much with being physically taken advantage of by another person, but in terms of what I was giving my energy away to. And this is something I can still ask myself today – though in more subtler forms

     1. …not so much with being physically taken advantage of by another person, but in terms of what I was giving my energy away to. And this is something I can still ask myself today – though in more subtler forms. This is a great point Karin. Even if we are not attending dark, dingy places, these energies are everywhere and get more and more subtle and require constant discernment.

305. Luz, your blog took me back to the years I sought techno parties to find connection, and how during all those years I felt so low in self-esteem and was always highly uncomfortable unless I was on drugs. Looking back now I can say it was a low point in my life but had you asked me while I was in it, the answer’s would not match. I longed for a night on drugs where I would feel the high and my illustioned connection to God and myself. I can look back now and see how lost and lonely I truly felt as I search for true connection. It still surprises me that true connection was with me all along had I chosen self love and care.

     1. So interesting kimweston2, everything that comes from so called recreational drugs is an absolute illusion, a lie. Yet so many get taken by this and lost to the illusion. It is very difficult to see your way out when trapped by this.

        1. Absolutely Lee, I still have friends held in such an illusion that they would fight black and blue not to expose it. For some the safety of the known, even it being an illusion is far better than the ‘unknown’, which is crazy considering the ‘unknown’ is known in every cell.

        2. Maybe we somehow feel it may be easier not to admit to what we know is true, this is part of how the illusion holds us prisoner. By getting honest we get free of its grip.

306. Luz this is such an awesome blog. I was a teenager when the rave scene hit the UK and for many years it was the focus of my life. I remember thinking what would I do when I got older and still wanted to go clubbing but would look out of place. I was actually scared of the prospect of getting no recognition for dancing all night with or without drugs – the music and attention and possibility of meeting someone amazing was enough.

     For the 1st time in my life I could talk about my feelings – not really my feelings but what I experienced when high or how amazing the music was – I was craving connection and intimacy. These massive parties where everyone was altogether dancing or high or having some sort of experience was the closest I’d ever come to being connecting with others. The usual social barriers were down, people weren’t shy about talking to each other whatever their background or race etc.

     But there came a point where I could no longer deny the sadness and emptiness I was witnessing around me. I was disillusioned. I knew I had a love for others that felt to be expressed but back then I didn’t know that it’s possible to be this love everywhere I go, with whoever I meet.

     1. “…it’s possible to be this love everywhere I go, with whoever I meet.” I love this summation Karin as it is the bottom line. We can be love all of the time with everyone, no mind altering required.

     2. This is gorgeous Karin, ‘I didn’t know that it’s possible to be this love everywhere I go, with whoever I meet.’ I went to many nightclubs and enjoyed connecting with people when i was high on drugs, the thing is sometimes the drugs would work and i would feel high and sometimes they wouldn’t and i would feel sad, paranoid and lonely, there was no consistency and the next day I would always felt low, it is amazing now to be living in a way that I do not need any substances to give me a high, I live lovingly without drugs and alcohol and naturally connect with people in a true way that lasts and is consistent, I love this, there are no downers, this feels very like a very joyful way of living.

307. Searching for connection in techno parties leaves you on a roller coaster of emotions. Connecting to yourself and forming true connection with others leaves you feeling a realiable steadiness.

     1. It is so ridiculous that we use drugs and alcohol, the very things that leave us completely disconnected, in an attempt to connect with others. My big question is, if we did manage to connect with someone in this state, what is the quality and foundation of this connection?

        1. Absolutely Lee… and how long will it last once the intoxication of the party, the alcohol and drugs wear off?

        2. The taking of the drugs is perhaps honesty in two ways – one being we know how much we miss connection, the other being we honestly know the drugs won’t deliver it to us. It could also been seen as a set up we choose to participate in, which reflects our level of lack of willingness to truly connect.

        3. Exactly Lee, and it is a pure illusion. Every substance we use, puts us into time. Caffeine puts us into time so we race through the day, drugs put us into time, where we think we are escaping time but everything that we put in the body has a process, and it eventually comes to clear, what are we left with? Space, the space of feeling what it has done to our body. Every substance use is about avoiding space and feeling what our bodies are feeling. So connection is impossible without being connected with ourselves first, and drug use never allows us to be connected with ourselves.

        4. So true Lee – just another indication that looking outside of ourselves for solutions has not brought us back to the truth within.

        5. Great question Lee, I was always looking for a connection at parties, trying really hard to find a partner or a friendship. At the time the quality of connection was not something really considered as the need to connect to someone outside myself was the only goal.

308. I love your line, ‘why not play it big, rather than partying big’ the love you speak of, the love that we are, is so delicious and so needed in a world where comparison and jealousy lie in waiting in more situations that we want to see. Live love and live it big, no fixes or coping mechanisms needed.

     1. Beautiful Lucy – live love and live it big. That is all, nothing else needed.

     2. Yes this line, ‘why not play it big, rather than partying big’ is super important. Playing it big would be realising the implications that disregarding your body would have not just on yourself but everyone around you, your family and friends that you see for the next week after the party, your work colleagues, your clients, shop assistants you meet etc. etc. ‘Partying big’ and exhausting ourselves or taking ourselves out with drugs or alcohol can do much more than just make us tired the next day, and in order to look at the true impacts we have to play it big.

        1. When I was young I remember thinking it was so cool to party big, going to work still worse for wear. I was in awe of friends who held good jobs and could do this and get away with it. For me it was a summer job in a pub but whatever we do wherever we are we reflect a way of life to another.I know my choices would been upsetting to my parents who loved me deeply. I was being incredibly irresponsible – I was saying to every one I met through my actions that life was so miserable that it’s ok to do anything to escape and cope with it including poisoning ones body with drink or whatever.

           It’s not until people reflect a different way of living that we get to experience responsibility isn’t boring or a burden but joyful and can choose this for ourselves.

        2. And to add to that Susie, in that ‘partying big’ we are not only keeping ourselves in the illusion that we can do whatever we want to do but also all the others that have made this ‘partying big’ a normal part of their lives and in that collectively ignore that there is a big role to play in our societies instead, for each and everyone of us.

        3. Absolutely Nico – we are all role models and are setting the standard of what is ‘normal’ and not so normal in society with everything that we do, and every choice we make.

        4. Well said Susie, we can become so absorbed in attempting to fill the emptiness and lack of connection with drugs, alcohol and the like that we forget about the impact it has on other people or sadder still don’t even care. There is never a moment when what we do to our bodies only affects us, everything has a consequence, am impact on another person. The Techno parties, raves, drugs and alcohol will never fill the emptiness we feel inside, because they take us further away from our true selves and the hang over or come down makes things a thousand times worse. I know now that it is possible to truly play it big, completely sober, bright eyed and bushy tailed with no artificial stimulants required and when we do, everyone feels the love and everyone benefits including ourselves.

     3. Lucy I love this: “Live Love and Live it Big”. A great slogan.
        If we choose this on a daily basis, there is no need for having special pockets of our life allocated to letting our hair down.

        1. Golnaz I agree this is a great slogan and to follow it would really change our way of living.

        2. I agree, what you share here is important too because living it big doesn’t mean having a party every day, it is being consistent in being loving, kind, in fact, rather than a long list…it is being you.

     4. I loved this line too. What would the world look like if we did play it big instead of partying big?

     5. “Live love and live it big, no fixes or coping mechanisms needed.” This has been an ah-ha moment for me this morning: I’ve been a fixer all my life and so to ‘live love and live it big’ is an awesome reminder – thank you Lucy… this is going on my fridge as a daily reminder!

309. I really got this Luz, there are many situations we can go back into and, if we can let ourselves be honest without judgement for what we had chosen, then we get to see it afresh, the reality of what we chose. Yet there is also the kapow moment, as we also bring the space and grace of understanding why we chose it. That is what blows me away now. Once I understand the why, my body says ‘thank you, can we not choose it again now?’

     1. Love the kapow moment Lucy… these are powerful moments – when we understand why we do something and realise the truth of that behaviour there is no need or desire to go back into it again, which brings true and lasting change.

     2. Beautiful Lucy. Bringing the understanding is key.

     3. I agree Lucy, looking back with understanding as to why I acted in a certain way without judgement does help to make different choices when a similar situation comes around.

     4. It is the understanding that infused this blog that made it a joy to read. I used to love dance parties, so could relate to that aspect of it, but as I was reading I was able to apply it to so many facets of my life that were claimed to be connecting, but were curiously empty. Boutique martial arts, participated in for many years, promised connection – there were so few of us practicing it and our love of it seemed to guarantee that we were united at a deep level, but this did not bear out in reality.
        My profession has been the same. There is a level of connection we go to, based on technical stuff, money, practice issues, future fears, but not trust that allows absolute transparency. So I ask myself, in deep pondering of my life and profession, rather than seeking the connection in the things I do, waiting for the transparency to be there…what if I am the one to bring those qualities?

     5. “Once I understand the why, my body says ‘thank you, can we not choose it again now?’” – i so love this Lucy! …. yes, through understanding we can accept, and in this let go moving on with joy in our new choice and subsequent action to build love in the body and its quality of being.

     6. Totally agree Lucy, this is precisely how we can heal our past, by looking at it through loving, compassionate and understanding eyes. This way the judgement falls away and we can let the hurt go.

310. “It is not about condemning the party, the DJs, the technologies or our right to have fun, but about feeling the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about, and how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others – that we believe these experiences are natural, true fun and a great way to feel connected to life and people.” I can recall many occasions when I would be feeling completely isolated, anxious, self-conscious, lonely – all at parties or clubs in the name of fun. There is nothing fun or natural about having to take drugs or alcohol to enjoy ourselves, or to become blissed out on the trance of tribal -like dancing at the expense of our bodies.

311. We cannot have true connection with another if we first are not truly connected with ourselves. If everything is a reflection, then we need to bring it back to our body and how we live each day to own what we are reflecting and choosing to connect with outwardly. We have a responsibility to be in true connection with our inner selves so everyone can feel this quality and know it is also within them too.

312. Looking back at what I thought connection was through these types of events, it just doesn’t make sense! Why do we think that by disconnecting from our bodies, who we are and taking substances that alter our perception of self, that we are making true ‘bonding’ moments with others choosing that same? It is utterly false and there is absolutely no true connection in this illusion. It feels like a familiarity, being lost and searching for identity are what attracts these encounters and makes them seem meaningful.

     1. It is only a bonding for the substance that we use while we need to separate from ourselves to let this happen. So in effect we let ourselves be used or rather mis-used to let something entirely disconnected from our bodies take place, something that has nothing to do with us but makes us believe it is all about us.

313. ‘It all felt like a huge feast of disregard, illusion and glamour, and actually was not that glamorous after all; pretty ugly in many corners and disheartening in many ways.’
     This is what I’ve experienced too Luz – when simply observing a party situation or anything that has a element of glamorousness – we get to see through the guise glamour and into the thickly laid illusion that has cast itself over willing seekers and lost followers all in search of something they are disconnecting to by the very fact they are in the situation in the first place. I know this because I too have been there.

314. We live in a world of energy and it is of absolute irresponsibility to believe that we are only affected by music, sound, what we take, etc. on a physical level and for a short term, basically until we get over the hangover. We create a rhythm in our body that then becomes our movement and we are controlled by this, being in the ignorant belief that we are choosing. Everything we do marks our particles and is manifested in our movement that then pulls us deeper into the same direction. Everything matters.

     1. Absolutely Rachel, nothing goes by the wayside. Holding ourselves accountable for the choices we make marks a beginning of a momentum based on energetic responsibility.

315. Luz, this is a powerful blog in that it shows ‘how in this dense type of partying, nobody gets to evolve an inch from their insecurities and boredom in a lasting way, and nobody gets to truly connect with each other in true awareness and acceptance.’ The experience you describe very clearly and yet, this is how young people are numbing themselves thinking it is what they need. Very sad.

316. Thank you Luz, for sharing different aspects of the loneliness we feel when we choose something other then connection, how this plays out and the things we go into to try and numb our pain seems normal as everyone is apart of it. I never went to techno dance parties, but there were certainly different avenues I used for the same reason.

     1. I agree Emily there are so many ways to chose from that bring us more away from our already deserted and deprived bodies but there is also a way to bring us back into our bodies, connect with ourselves and heal the hurts that make it at times quite uncomfortable to live in our bodies, and it starts with self-love and deep self-care. We are all worth it and very much deserve to be held in love and be treated as the precious beings that we are by ourselves and everybody else.

317. It is the emptiness that makes us embrace the reductionism of partying and anything is good enough to give us a short time of bliss, just to come back from it and crave more as the emptiness extends with every step we decide this quality of movement. I knew three people who suicided, two died accidentally in a drug indulged check out moment and many are living with the long term impacts of having sold out to the so-called fun-factor. It is not fun it is human misery dressed in a pretty suit and we choose to not see beyond the image we have chosen to project onto it. It is not the movement we are meant to live.

     1. This is our reality Rachel and this is a great sharing as it brings to the surface the reality of our world today, shocking as it is and it is shocking – it shows us the work that is needed to restore the truth of what we are missing that the world makes us choose these actions in the first place. Thank God for Universal Medicine I say as this is all that is required to come back to our true natural state of being.

     2. ‘It is not fun it is human misery dressed in a pretty suit and we choose to not see beyond the image we have chosen to project onto it.’ I love the sentence, perfectly said Rachel, it is all misery in disguise.

318. A great blog Luz, taking me back to my days of disco going and clubs. I can honestly say, I didn’t really ever feel comfortable or truly enjoy it, but I basically went for the music so that I could just dance the night away but then feel totally smashed the next day from the music and the couple of glasses of alcohol I would consume, all in the name of having a good time and perhaps finding the one, if we could have some sort of conversation over the loud music. All very superficial and definitely no true connections made.

319. “It all felt like a huge feast of disregard, illusion and glamour” and I will add indulgence to this list. To think that indulgence is a necessary human expression reflects how far away from ourselves we have walked.

320. Partying was a very good way of me pretending not to be the sweet and delicate young woman that I was. A way of putting up an image of being cool and essentially fitting in. And pretending that I didn’t carry hurts and pain and that life was fun. One of the many ways in which we seek to distract and suppress our awareness, remaining asleep to our true purpose and what we are really here for.

321. Universal Medicine recognizes the innate need we have to celebrate and dance and be together. Last night at the Lennox Retreat, we had the now customary celebration which lasted for an hour and a half and in that time, we danced to music that did not interfere with the natural energy of our bodies; we all let loose for that short period of time, on the natural high of being connected with ourselves first and foremost and enjoyed moving together and celebrating each other’s beauty. There was no emotion. When Serge Benhayon called an end at 8pm, our initial feeling was ‘just one more track, it can’t be over yet!’ but in his wisdom, it was enough. Once I walked away I could feel the stillness and appreciation in my body of the gorgeous full moon and that I could simply go to bed with the delicious me, knowing that I would wake up feeling refreshed and ready for what the new day would hold.

322. It’s a dangerous scene because the focus is all on the music and the dance floor and there is a great unregulated use of substances. The music calls you to seek to intensify your natural state so that your body magnifies the emotions of the music. And everyone is in it for themselves, so it is very easy to feel lost and lonely when you are not in the midst of such chemical highs. I will say that I formed some dear friends during this time in my life but that our time together was dominated by these shared experiences.

     “What sort of adulthood would we have if we were to choose our time and dedications wisely during our teenage years?”

     I like this question and I wonder the same – if I had not felt so disconnected from myself in my school years, would I have made the same choices in my twenties? This is such an important question as truthfully I gave away the building of a strong foundation for myself lost in the cloud of seeking connection through these types of experiences.

323. I travelled across Europe, UK and South Africa and found the rave scene, which included the intense highs of taking chemical ecstasy to reach an ecstatic, expanded state of seeming connection on the dance floor. When I returned to Australia, this led me the outdoor dance party scene. It was all about indulgence, blissing out and being silly, having fun, but truthfully we were like puppets playing out a picture together, all isolated in our own pain. I honestly thought I was seeking a greater connection to myself and to humanity by joining in with the beats and dancing together in the thick pulsing of everyone moving in unison.

     Knowing what real connection is now is a great and wonderful blessing and I have not returned to such parties for 5 years now.

324. ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big, and trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?’ Yes Luz, it is about opening our eyes to what is truly going on and observe from the knowing and the love we have inside, no need for partying when we are connected to this grandness.

325. We think we are in control of ourselves but how can we really say we are in control when using drugs and music to spin our selves out of our bodies to have a good time. Is it really us being in control or are we controlled by the substance and music we have chosen to intoxicate us with?

     1. Great question Esther, which to me the obvious answer is so often declared the morning after, ‘that wasn’t me!’ How loud a wake up call do we need?

326. What is interesting is how as soon as we bring even the slightest drop of true honesty and real-ness to what is really going on with these parties, the communication from our body is very very loud, saying how false and harmful it actually is. How wayward must we be as a society if these parties are the accepted norm?

327. Luz, you are a true scientist in action. If all of us where so observing and reflective of their bodies and things going on around us we would not simply do what we do but started to understand that there is much happening through us and not because of us.

     1. Beautifully said Esther, ‘there is much happening through us and not because of us’, appreciating the spaciousness of our relationship with the Universe is true celebration that never ends and only ever gets better.

328. ‘The problem goes beyond, as our disconnection has been cementing through the passing years, when we have learned how to put up with the holes in our families and found ways to fit into certain groups.’ How true is this? If we felt the fullness and connection between each other there would be no need for seeking awards for this in partying.

329. There I was looking for LOVE in the party world and LOVE was within me all the time.

330. From the pounding sounds, to the ‘dance moves’ I would make there is something so robotic and mechanical about going to a typical club. It’s like we think we are expressing ourselves and being free, but it’s more like we are going through a ritual that pounds us into a state of numb oblivion. How ironic that all along we actually carry with us, the most advanced piece of ‘technology’ – our body. It is attuned to every sense, the most micro detail, designed to dance to the beat that lives underneath. Last night I attended the Universal Medicine retreat celebration. In many ways this looked like a ‘techno party’ with lights, music, bright lights and dancing. But it was absolutely and completely different because everyone who was there was honouring and appreciating the body. Wow Luz – what a club we would have and reason to truly party if we all lived with this deep respect in every scenario.

     1. Exactly Joseph, what a simple, yet huge/immense difference: “….everyone who was there was honouring and appreciating the body”.
        There isn´t an inch of honouring of the body in Techno parties, no matter how loud the body is begging to be taken away from there.. Therefore the drugs is the solution, to numb and stretch the limits of the functionality of the body!
        It is a set up created by consciousness that cares very little about particles, matter and its intelligence. It is about escaping from the tension that it feels being entrapped in a body that can´t keep up with its hunger and need. It is a total abuse and utilitarian way of using the body.
        I know it all too well, and it definitely takes time to change those movements in my particles… I love what is being unfolded about movement lately, so much to learn and expand on this matter.
        I wish I could go to one of these celebrations at the closure of Universal Medicine events, I remember a very different quality on those celebrations, one that was foreign to me at the beginning. I can recall feeling self-consciousness wanting to sneaking in at some point, but there was actually not space/support for this to take place and grow… what a marker it set for me.
        It is indeed possible to celebrate in a different way, but it is so foreign in this world, no one knows how to do it… so much work to do!

331. You demonstrate just how powerful it is to return to scenes of former so-called glory and observe them from a different lens. I appreciate your honesty – that it can take time to clear what has been accumulated in the body and mind if we don’t choose to return to our true nature inside – which itself can take a mere nano-second when we are no longer a slave to the images and the illusion of the outside world.

332. Key elements you describe Helena – self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care. Before I knew Serge Benhayon I can say I really didn’t understand what they meant and consequently I was living that ignorance in my body, and in the way I felt. To have Serge and the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom show me how this looks in reality has helped develop and continue to grow these as a normal part of everyday life

333. I recall what a relief I felt when I immersed myself in partying. The loud music drowned out my thoughts of disappointment with the world, and the alcohol numbed me to the lack of self-worth and anxiousness I was constantly running with. A few hours of bliss and excitement and then down again. Until I came to Universal Medicine I did not truly consider I could experience and know myself as having a fundamental impact in life, and the possibility to turn around the given up relationship with the world. The conversation you have started Luz is a fundamental one for humanity.

334. This is a great exposé on what is really going on behind the seemingly bonding partying scene Luz. It’s very powerful to stand back and read it for what it is, which is a desperate want to connect but still keeping others at arms length to protect ourselves from being hurt. How off course we have walked as a whole if we think that taking drugs, drinking alcohol, getting high and completely not knowing what you are doing are ways of connecting. It is the many times in which we have ‘tolerated’ and adapted to the loveless ways in which we live in our families (and of course how we are with ourselves), and then taking that out into the world. I have found that self-honesty and honesty with others are an incredible medicine to opening our eyes and seeing our choices and actions for what they are.

335. Luz, it’s interesting looking back at my party days. At the time I thought that what I was experiencing at parties had something to do with the pursuit of truth . I had the idea that I could gleen a better understanding of life through drugs, a gateway to a deeper knowing. I know now that all of my so called ‘enlightening’ experiences did nothing other than bury me deeper in illusion.

336. Wow Luz this blog is absolutely amazing. My God you covered it all…thank you for sharing and expressing this for all of us – it feels so power-full :-).

337. I love how simply you have revolutionised your life Luz, amd it’s all in the self loving choice you made and continue to make. This is all that’s needed to turn the momentum around.

338. The experiences I have felt of brotherhood with others people, true unity have been so confirming, I can feel this is a way to naturally live without separation from one another “What if every single person, were to claim and embrace this? We would probably get a taste of what trust, true connection and brotherhood feel like every time we get together and celebrate.” We can hold each other equal in our divinity, which we are in essence. I am practicing this and learning every day and I can see some big changes occurring in my life and for those around me.

339. A big quote but one that I felt to share and appreciate, how awesome it is to know that, these small choices concerning self-care, and honesty etc have multiplied and have impact on your life developing with love, self worth and so a deeper connection with everyone you meet..

     .”To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.

     What I didn´t expect was that these would have such a huge impact, and that would unleash a very profound change in the relationship to myself, others and life in general.”

     So simple, no smoke and mirrors and expressed powerfully, thank you.

     1. I am with you Samantha this is beautiful and so powerfully expressed. When we start to experience and understand the simplicity that life is we begin to see the true richness of life and beyond.

340. If life is a permanent movement, and its quality is crucial, how do you have to move during the week in order to say yes to an experience that guarantees a deep level of intoxication that will help to keep you moving in a certain way afterwards?

341. Etymologically, the word party comes from the idea of a part. In fact, in political science the word ‘party’ is said from the fact that it can only represent a part, never the whole –even though history is a cemetery of parties that tried to be the whole and failed. Only when all the parts are onboard we can talk of the whole. The ‘parties’ this blog refers to are a celebration of a part of us (the Spirit that pretends to be the whole and which move (with the help of the music) in such a way to try to keep us a-part from the whole.

     1. I like the way you respect every word Eduardo. It is a part of us that wants to party/these parties to stay as a part but never to partake in the whole, always partying alone while being in the illusion of partying together.

342. Thanks for the insight Luz, never having been to a techno party. But I recall going to parties which had much if a similar feeling. How great to know there is a different way to live. One day the whole world will know and live it too.

     1. Mostly, the world is one big party that has the same effect. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon offer us the antidote to lovelessness in life through the Way of the Livingness.

343. And then to realize that there are millions of us who live like this, seeking distraction and losing invaluable time and life-force in this way of life. We so desperately want to be connected and with people, yet we choose to disconnect and live in a glamorous illusion. And this is all seen as normal.

344. Dancing to the rhythm of the music that drives you away from yourself in every note and in every way confirmed by every step you do, getting lost in it and feeling, at the same time, how ‘connected’ (to the disconnection) you are and seemingly enjoy every bit. Being confirmed by everybody going through the same and seeking the same.

345. Luz, this is a great article, I can really relate to what you have written, having spent many nights at nightclubs taking the drug ecstacy, looking for a high but always left the next few days feeling low and sad, what you have written here really rings true with me, ‘It was now easy to recognise how I used to be shadowed by ideals, stereotypes and chemicals obscuring my true light, tenderness, sweetness and playfulness inside.’

346. This blog exposes so beautifully the falsity of the supposed connection you get when being together on a party.. While I have never experienced such a thing but I can feel from your writing that it only distracts you from the daily life, while all of life could be a party when we choose true connection with ourself and in turn with everyone else.

347. Thank you Luz for showing how far you have come on your journey . Life is about growth (evolution) and you have shown us that stepping back into past ways of being, shows us clearly that this is not the way to go and we have an immediate reaction and clarification of this in what happens to us when we do this.

348. I remember going to a few “discos” in my youth (Techno parties and Raves weren’t around then), but I can certainly relate to the emptiness and the need to find others to relate to and connect with. Since I didn’t drink or take drugs I was able to feel this emptiness. Not liking it I didn’t go to these discos much, but when I did it would feel quite overwhelming and I would certainly be faced with my insecurities and need to fit in. I wasn’t much of a dancer either -so you can imagine how out of water I felt. I was one of those ‘inescapably sweet teenagers’ you talk of Luz, and if someone had come along and shared “trust that the love, sweetness and wisdom we have felt inside many times (no matter how fleeting those moments may have been) are truly what we need to honour, connect to and allow to expand without fear of how much ugliness we see around?” would have changed my world!

349. What came to me whilst reading was how can we truly ‘bond’ when drugs are involved, it masks and hides all that is there to be felt and does not allow us to feel the loveliness we so naturally are.

350. Wow – super powerful blog! There is so much in here I could comment on. “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” When we think of coming back from more extreme lifestyles there can certainly be an element of the “born again” “spiritualism” and so on about it, which puts a lot of people off. But what you share here is that the choices that can be made for a more loving life are grounded in utter wholesome sense and self regard.

351. You have described so well the feelings in those parties, craving connection and togetherness and finding the opposite. These scenarios are certainly set up perfectly to make people believe we are going to find that bonding you talk about. Perfect set up and perfect failure to find that connection. The problem is we used to repeat it every week, and the desperation got stronger, and the emptiness too. Now I know there is another way, there has always been another way, and now we have been brave enough to choose it. To say no to the deceiving ways of apparent fun and togetherness. And I would love for so many millions to find it too.
     Thank you Luz.

352. I heard the term today competitive party goer, where people compete to have the longest running binges and the most out there parties… I agree Luz, we absolutely can have fun but if we are not part of the party (ie: lost in a haze of drug, alcohol and music) it’s not fun but escape.

353. wow, a tremendously insightful blog. I went to a lot of pubs and nightclubs when I was younger and never felt comfortable until I had a drink – the noise, the fragmentation, the movement. And often I could not wait to get out of there into the cool night air. So why was I there? In our own disconnection, we will crave anything that offers a semblance of that we know deep within. We settle for forms of societal interaction that give us the feeling of community. We see rhythm through dance as a substitute for the natural rhythm within. We take drugs to give us a sense of relief from the ongoing tension that we feel the rest of the time. Understanding it this way, we realise that nothing is there to be condemned nor judged – merely reflected upon and understood. In this way, and in time, the truth of all things is revealed.

     1. “We see rhythm through dance as a substitute for the natural rhythm within.” We seek in the outer what we all already have in ourselves. This reflects so clearly the absurdity of human life we have created. We are here as the result of choosing to separate from the whole and our desperate and constant striving comes from the feeling of not being complete, complete in our grandness as part of the whole. And all we do is choosing “spam over ham”.

354. This is a remarkable expose of the set up that we fall for when it comes to relating to ourselves and each other. There is a lot to ponder on in this article but what popped off the page for me is that underlying so many of our choices around how we behave in ‘party’ environments is the desire to find a mate. I wonder if this is the ultimate degradation of our true nature from connected and complete whether in a relationship or not, to a primal animalistic push to couple up and reproduce. The latter simply feels like so much less than our real purpose and in so being, am abuse of our nature.

355. Luz I think your expose of the party scene is great. I partied consistently for 15 years thinking that it was a unifying experience. I totally missed the point that I was in complete separation from myself and therefore totally unable to connect with anyone else.

356. Fantastic sharing and observations Luz, I didn’t spend a lot of time at raves or techno clubs but have experienced it and know what you talk of with riding the wave and the build of momentum, it is a false ride one that crashes with no grace or truth. I too are very appreciative of being part of a group of people choosing to live connected to the preciousness within, learning to and inspired by those who do.

357. “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” Indeed as another blog I recently read confirmed our return, our evolution, is not a ladder but a U turn, thank-you Luz for taking yourself along and choosing to feel what lies beneath the wave of a Techno Party.

358. “In my experience I can say I lost invaluable time and life-force in this way of life in my desperate need to find myself, prove myself, free myself, meet others and belong, and funnily enough I ended up even more disconnected than before.” Me too Luz, it seems crass to me now as I reflect on how I blindly accepted that belonging and self abuse were hand in hand.

359. Techno parties may be a little more intense and drug induced than Salsa parties, but from my experience of dancing Salsa in clubs for many years I know you can get hooked, swayed, and drawn into this world just as much. It’s the wanting recognition and the wanting to belong, wanting the high, wanting to be seen, and looking for ‘the one’ all at the same time. The high can lead to a low for the rest of the week leading to wanting more and so creating an addiction – without drugs or alcohol, just simply to the dance and the experience. It would be interesting to go back and experience it now. I’m sure I would be very different within this situation, as you were Luz.

     1. I completely agree Rebecca. As I read your comment, I remember my Salsa dancing days and would long for the next weekend to come around to go along and have fun with my friends and dancing. The week in between seemed dull and I’d look for opportunities during the week to attend a latin dance class to ‘get my fix’. Great call out Rebecca.

360. It just goes to show how the ways in which we once or believe to be a way of connecting to others, something we deeply crave, from the focus of being with others actually doesn’t compare nor is true without ourselves. When we make the first steps about connecting back to ourselves and what is within us first and foremost then connecting with others requires no effort or alteration.

     1. Absolutely Leigh if we focus on building our connection with ourselves then we can meet others from a true foundation of knowing ourselves and being open to connecting with others.

361. Luz I absolutely love this. I love it because you did not wrap yourself up in cotton wool and refuse to go and spend a night with your friends. You were willing to step into a situation that you knew would be challenging and observe and learn from the experience. A very refreshing read. Thank you.

362. Luz another stunning article full of honesty and self refection that will help many.

363. In my experience, in environments where those around me are intoxicated in any way (under the effects of drugs, alcohol and so forth) I feel quite unsafe as my ‘friends’ turn into very different people than normal. I do not like to put myself in those situations as my body becomes very, very tense and I no longer feel like I know anyone around me.

     1. What an amazing thing that you have allowed yourself to connect to and you are spot on of course. Once people are under the influence, they are just that “under the influence”, as in, they are no longer running the show. So you are right in feeling unsafe, as no matter how much you trust someone, they are no longer in the drivers seat of their on body once they choose drugs and alcohol.
        In truth most of us feel what you have described Susie but choose to take different lines, like “If you cant beat them, join them ” or just ignore the feeling long enough until it goes away.
        You are a unique and brave young woman, I am deeply inspired by you in what you share on these sites.

        1. Absolutely Sarah. From my observations when people are ‘under the influence’ they hand their reins or steering wheel over to someone else and as you say, are no longer running the show. It begs the question of – who or what is then running the show?

        2. In my experience, you simply check out and its open shop for what ever might be hanging around bands wants to have a ride.

     2. This is true, what you share Susie. When people are intoxinated by alcohol or drugs or both it is like I constantly live in fear because they can change their behaviour in a second and I do not know them anymore, their eyes become empty and hollow, they become like unreal and unreachable and it feels like being in a ghost trip. If possible I do not put myself in situations like this, because I feel so much unease.

     3. I can very much relate to what you are saying Susie and this I also find to be a tense situation. I chose now to not put myself in these situations which means I do not see those friends that choose to drink etc.. in a social way, some may think that i am then missing out but for me it is a choice to not abuse myself and this is then something I cherish.

        1. I agree Amina, it is not ‘missing out’ if what we’re missing is being in an environment of disregard, chaos and often abuse. That is not an environment I’d like to to put myself in.

     4. Susie, that is exactly it, when we are around those under the influence we do feel unsafe and on edge; I knew this very well when I was younger but I decided to join them rather than honour what I felt. Now years later I wouldn’t do this, but at that time I felt the best option was to join in, it makes no sense but that’s what I did, and to cap it all I had to train myself to drink as I did not like the taste of alcohol. It’s crazy the extremes we can go to fit in and to not honour what we feel. It’s absolutely beautiful that you stay and stand so steady in you and are very clear about what works for you, and do not put yourself in those situations – I feel the enormous love you have for yourself in this and it’s very inspiring and a reminder to us all that it’s about love first in every situation , starting with ourselves.

364. Luz as strange as the title sounds I can fully appreciate that the large majority of the world would do something very similar. I know for myself it was parties, bars and nightclubs where I would “seek connection”. Today looking back it seems it makes no sense that I would go to a place where people where not themselves due to the intoxication of drink, drugs and other things in order to find someone, find something and find that connection.

     1. It seems so ridiculous and strange to think that most of us in the world at some stage have gone in search for connection in the most unconnected place you can find, clubs and pubs. When I speak to the young people I know, they know that the clubs and pubs offer no real connection but they do it anyway as they feel like that is all that is on offer.

        1. Great point Sarah, it is totally absurd when we look at it that way, we are seeking connection in the most unconnected places and in the most unconnected state of being and this perpetuates the emptiness that then makes us seek more of the same, although it is no giving us anything.

        2. That fact that young people feel they have no options besides clubs and pubs bothered me so much that I set out to create a social and cool environment that people could hang out in that did not involve alcohol. The Belle General and The Belle Central are just that, two cafes that invite people to gather and meet without bombarding music or drugs and alcohol, I am so glad that we can offer a place that young people find cool and social and be themselves.

        3. Thats super awesome Sarah, love that you offer a social space where people can feel the difference. And that is what truly matters offer the possibility to feel the difference and have a reflection of that there is a different way.

        4. The one thing that I am learning is that if we want change in the world, then we must first make changes within ourselves.

365. The lack of true connection is huge. We try all kinds of tricks and devices and substances – thinking that we are trying to feel ‘connected’ but all we are doing is just disguising the lack of connection that we have been feeling all along. And all these drugs and alcohol take us out of ourselves and there won’t be anyone left there to feel ‘connection’ even if there was one.

366. Luz – wow what an experience to return to that sort of place when you were at a very different stage of your life. Its funny how lots of us can say we used to party or go out all night or take drugs ect, but we seem to bury it under the rug and move on, with the excuse that ‘I’m too old for all that now’ – but what is interesting about your experience is how you faced going back there, you held yourself and you were very honest about what you were trying to get out of those events, which was not the partying or the drugs but the connection. If we are truly honest, we are all looking for the same thing, to love, to be loved, to have meaningful relationships with others. But we can get a little lost on the way. Luz- to face this again, is to confirm to yourself that everything is a learning, no judgement, but a confirmation that the way you live now is a much more connected and true way of being with others and with yourself. How beautiful to face and accept your past and allow that to help you appreciate where you are now.

367. I love to party! By pondering about your Blog Luz I was asking myself, what did I party in my past and what do I celebrate now, because my life and expression changed a lot, like yours. And I see that in my past I did party with the intent to bring a change into my mood. I wanted to feel different. Alcohol was used to bring a change as well, like become relaxed, open and be groovy. Ready to flirt (to find the ‘right one’ – even it will be just for this night) and have fun. The day after was then not such fun and with the hangover also my dull day-by-day living did pop again, preparing me to want and need the next party to escape from what I live.
     These days I party differently. I love my every day living, appreciate who I am and what I bring, have a deep connection to the people in my life, be it family, neighbors or colleagues. Now when I party I really celebrate my life – it is the ‘cherry on the cake’ so to speak, the celebration of my everyday living and no longer an escape from it. And no hangover – just the joy of going on.
     So I can say in my past I did not really party, because there was nothing to party in my life. What I did was the illusion of a party. A real party has something to party – and that is, the way that is lived.

     1. You raise such an important difference in ways of partying Sandra, to celebrate the quality of my everyday living rather than seeking a moment of excitement and happiness.

        1. Yes. We do not have to steal a moment from everyday living to party when our life is amazing. Taking responsibility is not a burden – it is the foundation of letting our beauty shine through, of joy and celebrating.

     2. Beautifully said Sandra, to party in celebration of our life is so very different to partying to escape our every day lives.

368. Great sharing Luz. It is fascinating how we can get caught up and lost in things, like partying thinking we are somehow connecting with others but really are only escaping the everyday reality of life. What if we made life so enjoyable we would not want to escape it, far from embrace it and ourselves. Enter Serge Benhayon and The Way of The Livingness and we have just that.

369. It is of course for every individual to choose what they do for fun, but I wonder how these type of parties would look and feel were it not all propped up by drugs and alcohol that disconnects us from who we truly are. These substances change who we are. For me the change was an escape from things I felt uncomfortable facing and alcohol was a coping mechanism, albeit one that hurt me a lot physically and mentally.

     1. I wonder what percentage of the people that go to techno parties without the drugs would still be dancing to that type of music, let alone dancing all night , sometimes all weekend. Very small percentage I would predict.

        1. Agreed kevmchardy, it is indeed a small percentage and I actually did that for about a year thinking that I could still go to these parties and not take anything and be ok. But I was wrong as I still suffered similar effects of disconnection and abuse in my body. I soon learnt the lesson!

     2. Good point Stephen. Without the drugs and alcohol what would these parties look and feel like? It is these substances that take us off into a different state where it is impossible to connect to the beauty inside of us, and impossible to truly connect with others. Therefore what do we think we are doing when we choose this? It is not supportive and it leaves us lonely.

        1. and of course we could make the same point about medication, as Serge Benhayon has spoken many time on, if we took away our medication it would starkly show how we have been living and make us rethink what it means to be in good health. Awful perhaps in the short term but hugely enlightening.

        2. Yes it is the same with medication. If we took all medication away it would reveal the reality of how we are without it. We would have a society that can’t function. This is not our natural state of vitality, so what are we doing to take ourselves so far away from this? A very sad case indeed.

370. Luz you describe this scene so well. Having never taken part in the techno scene I have always wondered what is the appeal of this kind of partying and from what you have described there is definitely more going on than meets the eye. At the end of the day it all seems to come down to the connection that we all crave but yet again being taken off in a total different direction.

371. The music and visuals at techno parties and raves can so easily hook you in. I recently watched a video that a friend had posted of her husband playing at a club on Facebook having not listened to dance music in years. I felt myself become completely drawn in by it within minutes. Afterwards I could feel how much it had impacted my body leaving a heaviness that felt horrible.

372. Thank you Luz, this is a much needed expose on the Party Scene because so many young teenagers and adults see this as the way to connect to one another and enjoy life, when the reality of it is so very different. Your account here reminds me of the depression and isolation that I felt in my twenties and early thirties, when I was desperately attempting to fill the void I felt inside me. We are so used to putting “up with the holes in our families” that we carry this into our adult life, patching our relationships up with drugs, alcohol and intense music scenes, oblivious to the damage we are doing to our bodies and one another. I too am hugely appreciative of the rock solid example of Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine for showing me another way to connect, live and love, a way that presents “self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself” and consequently honours everyone in the process. There can never be any worthwhile substitute for the love that resides within me and within us all and once we connect to that, having fun with one another becomes a natural easy joy, an experience that nurtures, heals, evolves and encompasses everyone in love.

     1. Rowenakstewart,
        I can so relate to “putting up with the holes in our families” and wanting to find connection else where as we go through our twenties and thirties. When my children were young, I would spend time with my husband at the local pub for this very reason. All the while thinking it was the way to get close to people and be accepted. I too am so glad that Serge Benhayon entered my life, the connections I am now making with the people in my life are real, honest and truthful. It is a whole different way to live where love and deep respect and care for self and others is the main motivator, not the worry about self and not being myself in the need to fit in to feel safe and protected.

373. Powerful exposure of the illusion of the ‘bonding’ and glamour of the generally accepted social scene, which instead deepens our dis-satisfaction with life rather than enhancing it.

     1. True Jonathan, it feeds off the disconnection we have with ourselves.

     2. I feel this is the case Jonathan, it seems to me that no matter what the generation we all have our flavour of ‘bonding’ and when I was younger it was disco’s and then clubbing, both involved a lot of excitement and alcohol, and I am sure the drugs were there if I had cared to look hard enough.

374. The false illusion of connection at techno parties and the wave of highs and lows kept me lost and searching for years. I was drawn in by the lights, the music and the glamour of it all. I know if I revisited a techno party with the clear mind I have today what I would see is the deep level of lovelessness we have and how far we have separated from truth.

     1. So true, I remember going back to a nightclub the day after a really good night out ad was horrified at what a dive it was, how seedy, smelly and dirty it was. The stench of alcohol and cigarettes hung in the air, the alleys were littered with condoms, it was a reality I had not chosen to see. It was nothing like I remembered it through my alcohol goggled eyes. It is an illusion and there to be and do all those things you say above, draw people in with the lights, music and glamour. It is theatre but boy oh boy was I faced with its seediness that morning. It has stayed with me ever since.

375. Dear Luz, what you describe here in the techno party has been my experience in most parties that I have attended in my life where alcohol and drugs and emotional undertones were always present. This always felt uncomfortable, but what I have come to for myself is that this is not only present at parties, even though it is more intense there, but that the disconnection is everywhere and the uncomfortableness in feeling this is there. Learning to feel this and accept it is a way of life I am dedicated to living from.

     1. Yes Leigh I agree the disconnection is not only present at many parties but there in daily life too – hence why we often seek connection or relief of ‘fun’ at the party. But we if we are honest with ourselves is it really connection or fun that is being had, as Luz presents… From Serge Benhayon I’ve learnt, or you could say been reminded of, what true connection with myself and others feels like and that it is possible to make this part of my everyday.

     2. Learning to feel this, not react and address our own hurts from disconnection sets a paving for others to do the same also.

        1. It does Emily, just knowing this raises the bar for ourselves in our responsibility to live with a steady presence of love and respect, for if we don’t, how will others know it is a possibility?

376. Why not play it big instead of partying? Such a great question, Although I had some great times partying, or at least I thought I did ,I would definitely change so much if I could turn back the clock. I never really did the techno thing but had many, many lost hours sitting around in pubs and drinking, wasting the precious time I have been given.

377. It is extraordinary the lengths we go to in our search for that something a ‘fix’ to make us feel good about ourselves and to communicate with others, to feel inclusive and have something in common with another. I recognise much of what you share with us Luz – The party scenario you share is yet another one of those places that hooks many into its illusionary trap door, of having a good time, letting your hair down (in whatever fashion that takes!) when infact, after the party is over its all back to square one and the search is once more, craving bonding and connection on the look out for another adrenalin boost of feel good factor to take away that feeling of emptiness. How inspirational Luz looking back on the journey thus far travelled with the profound changes you have made and to now appreciate, accept and live your life with honouring yourself and truly connecting with others – a true celebration of life.

378. It would be amazing to have many more open discussion on this worldwide as this is without question a worldwide issue.

     1. Agree Amina, the veil of illusion around this issue is massive and has to be lifted. I had been absolutely taken by it and know how deep you can sink into it without even being aware that what you call fun is actually abuse.

        1. This is super important Rachel, And so getting to know our bodies and what we are doing to them in our moment to moment activity gives us the door way to really understanding what we are doing to ourselves and those around us. It is huge to know that we are not here to abuse, that abuse is not normal and so making it an open discussion will support us all is stopping actions that are harming us and those around us.

        2. Agree, we are moving in a way that perpetuates abuse, we have to change our movement. Movement is not a functionality, but the universal flow we align to, to be in order with the Universe.

     2. Well said Amina, many people living this sort of lifestyles are looking for truth and true love as deep down they know there is more to life than the superficiality they are experiencing.

379. Thanks Luz for this expose on dance parties and clubbing that is so “on the money”. I too found myself caught up in the world of dance, drugs and djs as I thought it was a shortcut to the feeling of connection and closeness I was longing for in my life. I hadn’t yet learnt how to find that in day to day life so this was the next best thing. I dulled my perception of the ugly side of the scene by taking as many drugs as possible – wanting to reach that point of “union” that you describe. The thing that never changed though was that after meeting that “connection” point, inevitably there would be the come-down, interactions would become awkward and jagged and the emotional upheaval in the following days was really destabilizing. Despite this, it took me quite a few years to permanently extracate myself from the scene – as even a drug-induced connection was better than the prospect of no connection at all. Fast forward 9 years and now I know a level of connection with myself that I never thought possible, and bring this connection more and more to everyone in my life – all thanks to my commitment to get real, get honest and take responsibility for my life and the unwavering support of universal medicine.

     1. Great point Hannah. How you feel afterwards is always a great indication of the loveliness something allowed, or crushed – how it was for the body.

        1. Spot on Emily, our body truly does not lie. In the end the choice is ours, whether the high is worth the low that follows, or numbness?

     2. Well said Hannah and this has been a large part of my experience too. I would add I was more seeking to check out from life, to escape via ‘entertainment’ (if taking drugs, drinking and thrashing my body all night on the dance floor can be called that). My partying reflected a complete lack of commitment to life and myself. Absolutely zero honouring and certainly nothing to do with being a true woman.

     3. I was partying with and party to the clubbing, Hannah, that you describe in your comment. I made “friends” but had no connection at all back then, basically so self-absorbed and insecure that I had nothing to truly offer in those friendships. I am blessed to actually share true friendships now, what changes I have all made in my life, Luz too by the sound of this blog and the way she has broken down this style and attempt at “bonding” through these sorts of parties; sober or not, they are not connection.

380. Thank you Luz for your very honest sharing here, it presents some of the traps of this world the false excitement and fake togetherness that seeming feels good but that good is not true. Amazing to study this as you have and already feel the emptiness behind it.

     1. Many of the dance parties I went to celebrate the gay community in Sydney, so were operating under the presumption of connection. But can people truly connect if they are under the influence of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs- especially the drugs, like ecstasy, that induce a false feeling of love? I was never my true self as result of taking drugs, and I can now say it was definitely not love and connection that came pouring through!

381. As children we used to be able to have fun in a true sense and then at some point most of us lose that natural way of living due to lives pressures or one thing and another. Perhaps these raves and techno parties and other social events we attend are an attempt to gain back artificially something we lost when we where kids.

     1. Great point Kev. We never forget the feeling of connection.

382. ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big…’ What a great line and call to true purpose! Given the state of the world, we have so much more to do than idly entertain and distract ourselves. And this is not to say we should rush out and embrace a cause. The change we want to see starts with just one person – ourselves. Then we can take ourselves out into the world; and then we can collaborate with others who have done same to produce projects that bring more of what we have to others.

383. Our capacity to pursue entertainment and indulgence knows no bounds, whether it is scaling Mt Everest or a mountain of drugs. The spirit is utterly endangering in its arrogance.

384. ‘…I wobbled and caught myself having stepped into the “look at me, here I am in control and having lots of fun” mode, in complete disconnection to myself and my body.’ Luz you describe perfectly here the glamour and illusion that is the dance party scene – the so-called ‘mastery’ of the effects of drugs and alcohol on the body, the pretence we’ve got it all ‘going on’. All a giant lie, and the body shows it all, if not immediately, over time.

385. Reading this blog brought up some memories of the past. I didn’t go to techno parties but went to a couple of dance parties and I remember the emptiness of it, the dirtiness, those places are really dirty and the smell it would leave in my clothes was, even after smoking was prohibited, horrible. It was for me a great disillusionment of the picture that I had when growing up from the parties, I thought it would be about dancing and having fun yet the reality was completely different! When the lights go on after when the club closes the reality of what has been going on is truly visible. For how could something that is truly joyful, harmonious and a celebration for all end up in a smelly, dirty mess?

     1. Yes Lieke when all the smoke and mirrors are gone, we are left with the disappointment that yet again an experience could only deliver a temporary relief and moment where we could avoid the devastation of the connection and livingness to our innermost.

        1. Yes Jennym ‘when all the smoke and mirrors are gone’ we are left with ourselves, in the exact same place, or worse, as we were before. I feel the draining energy, waste of time, people and resources lost in an activity that takes humanity no-where. True love, beauty, joy exists within ourselves, freely offered by God to all of us, and forever there for us to choose when ready to do so.

386. You’ve nailed it here Luz, when you explain what’s really going on for us when we engage in parties completely intoxicated or under the influence of drug. It exposes ‘…how restless and disconnected we really are inside and in our relationship with others…’

387. Awesome Luz. I have done a similar thing where I have taken my ‘sober’ body to a party and fallen for the arrogance that I will come out feeling so much better than anyone else who has chosen to intoxicate themselves. The reality is in my experience that I have not once come out feeling alive. I go home with the buzz of the energy but worse than that I wake up with a hangover despite not having had a single sip of alcohol. A hangover that compared to most might appear mild, but I can safely say these hangovers are worse than what I used to experience when I did drink.
     Energy – it’s everything.

     1. Well said Elodie. I went through a faze a couple of years ago after I broke up with the father of my kids. I started going to the pub and going out, not drinking but it was exactly the same, if not worse as you say. I was trying to prove to everyone that I knew how to have “fun” but really, sitting near a poky room in a dingy pub with a bunch of old men and alcoholics, is that fun? Now fun to me is living in a way that inspires those around me to remember how amazing they are.

        1. I can totally relate to that Sarah, it is that need to fit in and have “fun”, except the idea of what fun is has changed so much for me. Before fun would have been going to the pub and getting plastered, now fun is cooking a great meal, enjoying the silence, going to bed early, chatting soberly and connecting with friends.

        2. Same Stephen, I have redefined what fun is to me now and it quite similar to what you just described. I am now married but over the years when I would become single seems to be my opening for going out, its like a believed that if I stayed at home, how would I ever meet anyone, ironically I did not meet my husband at the pub, I met him at a daytime charity event I hosted “Play it Big” and all I found at the pub was conversation that went no where with people that couldn’t remember them anyway.

        3. I had this conversation the other day about drinking and that fear of missing out that accompanies it for many. The fear that if they don’t go to the pub something amazing will unfold that they wouldn’t want to miss. And yet in the 12-15 years or so that I drank I can’t think of a single thing I would have regretted missing had I not gone.

388. If I am completely honest the only thing I ever liked about techno parties was the drugs, I had friends that were into it and occasionally they would drag me to a party but after about half an hour the music started getting to me and I would long for Frank Zappa or Neil Young or something other than this racket going on in my head. I could see what was going on though, total escapism and a need to reach some artificial euphoria to break life’s monotony and what I was doing wasn’t much different apart from the highs and lows were not so extreme.

389. Beautiful Luz, what a gorgeous opportunity to feel for yourself the way of life you used to chose and how you live now. “It is not surprising that we are more willing to experiment with a spiral of ups and downs in order to escape from how loveless the world feels.” This is huge. Perhaps if we weren’t having to deal with the lovelessness around us, and the disconnection to who we truly are, we may not search out the extreme behaviours that society chose at present to numb themselves even more.

390. Showing my age perhaps but I have no idea what a techno party is. Parties are an invitation for people to come together to meet and connect with each other but when we disconnect from ourselves with alcohol, drugs and the controlling energy of the event then we are missing out on the very thing we are looking for.

391. Life dependent on what substance or sound we consume is something most of our youths experience. Take away certain foods, drugs and music from the live of our teens and what will be seen? A more or less flat experience of functioning and fitting in it is for many. We are in desperate need for what Serge Benhayon presents with such ease. Examples of people living themselves without masks and hidden agendas.

     1. Yes Felicschumacher8 and we all start with the birthday parties and lollies and cakes we give our children. The parties drugs for infants.

        1. Really great point Kathryn- we need to look at this and how we set up the pattern of relationship with foods and parties. I have often stood at kids parties and observed how we fill them with copious amounts of sugar (knowing they will have full melt downs in a few hours) but even though everyone knows this will happen, we have taken this as just ‘normal’ behaviour. Its no different then to the patterns teens go into of writing themselves off on alcohol and drugs only to then a few hours later have a major crash.

     2. It can be very lonely to exclude yourself from the normal of your peers. I agree, more people living without masks and hidden agendas is very much needed to show it is actually safe, and far more healthy both physically and mentally. This really should be a major health initiative.

     3. It is true Felix we are in desperate need, and those that are seeming not ‘the party animals’ for want of a better word are more needy for this than others often.

     4. Yes Felix, that dependence on substance or sound for relief is prevalent, but not just among the young, it later becomes dinner parties and wine or even classical music or opera, and it’s not different, in all of these scenes there’s no true connection as everyone is operating from the masks they have and so of course they need to have something for relief, something to distract from the ache they feel of not being who they are. We all live in this way in some shape or form, young and old and often the old are more deluded than the young, convinced that they’re less messy and more together, when in fact they’re just as lost. Our whole society is false on all levels and we very much need to see and feel people who live without masks and agendas, and understand and remember that that is who we are and what we are all capable of. Few show us this and that for me is the joy of what has been offered by Universal Medicine, a way to understand that I can live without a mask and be open and engaging with people without protection, that I can be me in the world and allow the world to be, that that is my only job, to live me to the best of my ability. This is on offer for us all and we desperately need it, our world is a mess and we are all feeling the impact of that, but in that mess we are faced with where we are and offered a reflection that says this is not working, so maybe we need to consider another way.

     5. Agreed Felix, people living with transparency in their daily living, no need to medicate or protect as their only protection is to live with open hearts.

392. What struck me in this piece of writing was the under lying current in the techno party environment that suggestion every was not having fun but masking their issues with themselves and others to keep up the good vibe.

     1. Yes Luke, issues are not actually dealt with, just masked by drugs, alcohol and music to create the pretence of “having a great time” and escaping the issues. We can get so caught up in the masking that we forget it is inevitable the issues will return once the “party” stops.

        1. But this is not about singling out or “demonising” the party scene – for it is but a reflection of the way we are living in the world and with each other – some people party to mask their issues, some people choose to excel at sport, a career or being a parent…same energy, same result, just a different expression.

        2. Agree Hannah with your above and below comment. The underlying intention behind our actions is what really counts.

           The interesting thing about intention is how far are we willing to dig because the intention can be the mirror opposite to the action that is being performed. But as you say its about energy.

     2. Yes Luke, and just one of the many masks we don, but all for the same reason. We are looking for true love and connection

     3. Its funny how we think that but it doesn’t really mask things and there isn’t really a good vibe also often people have a lot of regrets the next day for behaviour that they went into.

        1. Agree Kristy, its a crazy world.

393. Great blog Luz, I agree, being the life of the party was a place I tried to obtain so I totally relate to you and the blog. When the Students of The Livingness have a celebration it is what true “connection and brotherhood feel like every time we get together and celebrate.” A party is particularly for participants to part with there presence and postulating time to portion out a protected self, which is providing our particles an image of life that is all about self. A celebration on the other hand is all about connecting to our inner-most / love and sharing equally with others with no individualism.
     For more about celebration go to an amazing site;
     http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=CELEBRATION

394. ‘nobody gets to evolve an inch from their insecurities and boredom in a lasting way, and nobody gets to truly connect with each other in true awareness and acceptance.’ captures the essence of what most of our entertainment does for us, be they techno parties, pubs or tv and many more – there is no evolution, no asking of us to be more of who we are, and a feeding of us being less. There is no lightness on offer in any of this and despite being sold as ‘fun’ it feels heavy and draining – I’ve done my version of this which tended to be pubs and drinking and it was very similar, no real connection and a feeling of being alone in the crowd while pretending to fit in – I can feel now I’m out of it how lost I was at that time and how much I needed to fit in, as I’ve learned to more deeply appreciate and care for me I’ve been able to more clearly stand up and say no to these old haunts, habits and ways of being which didn’t fit any more and in fact which never did – it’s been and is a huge freedom.

     1. I couldn’t agree more Monica – letting go and saying no to these old ways is a huge freedom which I appreciate myself for every single day.

        1. This is lovely Lucy, ‘ letting go and saying no to these old ways is a huge freedom which I appreciate myself for every single day.’ I love that you appreciate yourself for this, I have let go of so many unloving habits such as drinking, smoking, binging on sweets and chocolate but have not really appreciated myself for this, reading your comment and this blog helps make me aware that it is important to appreciate these changes.

     2. Beautifully said Monica, it is freeing to no longer be held by societal pressure, or our own lack of self worth to jump off the hamster wheel and see the existence we have all brought into.

     3. Beautifully said Monica, I agree completely. From my experience of the myriad forms of entertainment available to us there is always one thing missing, and that is the relationship we can have and can build upon with ourselves. The homecoming that is felt by choosing that relationship is everlasting.

395. “To return I haven´t had to pray, use the power of my mind, choose salsa parties instead of techno parties or become a celibate, I have just chosen self-honesty, self-acceptance, self-love, self-appreciation and self-care as the new normal ways of relating to myself.” We all love connecting with others but it is our true connection to self that leads the way for all to truly bring change. When we seek connection from outside of ourselves we are already disconnected from our one truth. We may stray hear and there for short periods of time or many years but to know that we can return once more at any time is hugely healing. Thank you Luz, I absolutely love this.

     1. Indeed Kelly in our attempts to seek connection outside of ourselves we are forever needing to seek new experiences and states as they are only ever temporary and only provide short term relief.

        1. Very true, it would be the wrong use of language to say it is a relief not to seek relief any more but in a funny way that is what I mean. I feel like there is space now that I am no longer searching to actually live!

396. In the end we are all looking for love and connection. We seek this in many forms and as you have described Luz the techno party scene is another example of this. All of this seeking is a distraction from what is innately there inside of ourselves and the seeking it from somewhere other than within is always going to leave us feeling empty and searching for more. I spent many years in this scene as well Luz and can relate to the roller coaster ride that it offered. I reflect now at what I was really looking for amongst the dance beats, the drugs and the alcohol was simply a true feeling of togetherness and brotherhood. I have come to now truly know and feel this not through anything outside of myself, but through returning back to me through The Way of the Livingness.

397. Thank you Luz for sharing all this, without any judgement for others or for yourself, but a deep love and honest enquiry into what is truly being felt and lived. I love how you said “It is not about condemning the party, the DJs, the technologies or our right to have fun, but about feeling the possibility that we have forgotten what true connection is about…”

     1. I agree Fiona, and so building upon this true connection is what is needed more then anything else. There is no point in condemning anyone for anything as this just adds to the issues that are occurring all over the world.

     2. Absolutely Fiona – it’s not about judging others for their choices or what they choose to do, drink or take, but rather offering a reflection of looking after ourselves and not doing things that we know will harm our bodies. This gives them a choice, as often people choose these things because everyone else does them and thus they don’t know any different.

        1. Agree Susie, it is about appreciating the power and the responsibility of our reflection.

     3. Yes great point Fiona, as it is from this disconnection that the self destructive behaviours and disregarding ways we have accepted to be what ‘partying’ is, as normal.

        1. I have often found clubs and entertainment venues to be really aggressive places. People are there to let their hair down but all the issues they are carrying are still there. I often found the dance floor to feel a bit like a battle ground.

398. Luz , I love this piece and how honest you are. Your writing encourages me to reconnect and look at those parts of life where I am still seeking recognition and excitement – perhaps not parties for myself either these days but other choices not in honour of the self love and care of my physical body. Your openness to observe and learn in a non-judgemental way is very supportive, thank you.

     1. Indeed this is a very open and honest blog, in the sense of recognising without judgement how lost we are in our pursuit of excitement and entertainment for a sense of connection.

     2. Yeah I have found excitement and distraction from life in other things like searching the net with no real purpose or eating when I am not hungry- just to feel the gap when I have stepped back from life.

     3. Good call Susan. I know my nervous system can do a great job of having me go for recognition and excitement and push and drive. Learning to come back from that and rest in my natural self and move from there is the key to recovery from a lifetime addiction to nervous tension.

399. This is awesome Luz. I loved this line: ‘Why not play it big, instead of partying big?’ It was the longing for connection that got me into the dance party scene and I remember the first time the MDMA effect kicked in, and I thought I was finally opening up and feeling all the love in the world for the people around me and that they loved me back as well. A couple of hours or more of ecstatic bliss of a perceived love-explosion and then to feel how once the drugs wore off, the eyes were averted and the warm and fuzzy feelings towards each other had now turned sharp and cold. The merry-go-round of endlessly seeking that warm feeling of connection again and again is what fuels the drug-scene, the party scene and so much more.

     That seeking for me stopped when i realised the connection I was longing for and that warm feeling of true love and joy can only be activated inwards. There is no mid-week blues feeling, no crashing down in the swamp of loneliness the drugs and partying were averting us from for a little while, when we rekindle our REAL connection from within. Like a fire we tend to, to keep burning, our inner connection can stay alight with us — attending to it daily, in every moment, loving ourselves back in the way we are with ourselves. Then we really do have a love-bomb, the real deal this time, for by virtue of feeling that warm love within, we also feel it with others too – even if they’re not ready to go there yet. And that’s the best party ever, and you don’t even need a ticket for it, there are no bouncers at the door and you never have to leave.

     1. Awesome Katerina. No tickets, bouncers or mid-week blues required when you have the true love activated from within. 🙂 🙂

     2. Yes “why not play big, instead of partying big?” Playing big is vitality, grandness and joy, meanwhile partying big is just trashing yourself in the belief of having fun, what a pathetic reductionism.

     3. I’ve never taken MDMA or the like, and this type of partying wasn’t my scene, but it was same, same but different. Different drugs and music but the echoing loneliness and desperate crash absolutely identical. We can’t fill our emptiness with more emptiness. It’s a fool’s errand.

     4. Similar to yourself Katerina – my greatest marks of love were based on my experiences with drugs, that is, until I experienced esoteric healing and began to connect more deeply with my body to realise drugs had nothing on the majesty of love that is possible to connect with for free in my body.

     5. Gorgeous Katerina, an ever burning fire that allows all the light and warmth we could ever need no matter where we are or whom we’re with.

     6. Our longing for connection leads us to different drugs Katerina – yours was MDMA, mine was alcohol. It always puzzled me how I’d feel a connection with someone after a few drinks – someone was my new best friend or potential lover but then when we next met whilst sober, it often felt awkward and as if we’d never met which exposes the fact that it wasn’t a tue connection at all but a meeting of two people who were artificially stimulated in a way that made us think/feel that it was.

     7. Ha ha, well said Katerina! A permanent inner party from the inner hearty.

        1. ❤ ❤ ❤

        2. Hmm, I love that Victoria — that’s a line for another blog!

400. Thank you for this commentary Luz, I too have dabbled in this scene on and off for a few years and can relate much to what you have written. I have not given it as much thought but when I read what you wrote, I knew it to be true and confirming to what i actually did feel when I was in the scene. “Come down Tuesday” used to be a killer and I did use to wonder why do we (I) do (did) this to ourselves (myself)? For a night of ‘fun’ for 6-12 hours, we feel crap in our bodies for 2-3 days afterwards (and the rest). I remember the Celebration Night at a Universal Medicine retreat and I felt this deep love, joy and connection to the people around me and it felt ‘similar’ to nights on the scene except this one was vastly different as there was no chemicals involved, no rah-rah from the retreat to get me into that state, it was after 5 days of being super-honest, super-loving and super-caring and gaining a deeper understanding of me and the world around me, that connected me to my true nature.

     1. This is true celebration Sarah, from the inside out… no influence or substances required…just to be ourselves! Great point really because if we need to intoxicate or drug ourselves to be with others then doesn’t this say something about the way we are with each other?

        1. Yes, totally disconnected, hurt and in full protection.

        2. I agree Aimee, true connection requires no intoxication… and from my experience the intoxication was just a response to there being none.

        3. Well said Samantha, and then many continue the disconnection and illusion by talking about the times of intoxication like they were the best in their lives. For me looking back on celebrating in this way, there was just ugliness, lying, fakeness, comparison, checking out and emptiness…and can I say lots of dribble talking going on.

     2. Beautiful Sarah, we all have the love inside to share with each other, I agree a celebration after a retreat or courses of Universal Medicine don’t leave you empty but full of yourself. I never have experienced that after a night of partying, it felt always cold, lonely and really a waste of time but I did it over and over again disconnected that I was. No need for partying anymore now I am connected to a joyful lovely self.

     3. Yes, the celebration at the end of the retreats have been a great eye opener for me, I loved how different they felt, loads of dancing but no alcohol, there was no feeling of being groped by people’s eyes, no need to find the one, it was a celebration of what had been connected to inside ourselves over the previous days, something that had been there all along buried under a tonne of masks and coping mechanisms. They have been a marker for me of how a party can be an incredible, memorable celebration with a natural ease to connect with so many people in the room.

        1. This is a great point Lucy and Sarah, the Universal Medicine celebrations have been and still are a huge learning curve for me, it’s an opportunity to let your true self out in the way we move, speak and dress, it’s easy to feel oneself being pulled back into the old ways of recognition and identity, but always held by the love, celebration and togetherness that is a pure confirmation of what is lived beyond the party itself.

        2. Thank you Sarah and Lucy for highlighting how the celebrations after the Retreats are the actual celebrations of who we are, uplifting and the total antipathy of the parties described by Luz. For me it is not only at the Retreat celebrations that this appreciation occurs but in fact at any gathering of Universal Medicine Students however big or small.

     4. Great point Sarah, I was never into drugs but would drink a lot of alcohol when I went out and it was only when I was really intoxicated that I would dance, at all other times I was way too self conscious. I used to think this was great that I finally felt ‘free’ enough to dance. I thought it was liberating but this was total rubbish as I was out of it and would do crazy and reckless things also that would put myself at risk. I would often get into tense situations on the dance floor when people would bump into you etc, I often found there was always this hostile vibe between groups on the dance floor. For the first few Universal Medicine events where there was dancing and I wasn’t drunk, I couldn’t cope with it and wouldn’t enter the dance floor. However, at a recent event I noticed a big difference, it was the most relaxed I had felt in my body and was much more free to dance and move- this felt great.

401. Understanding that the lack of connection with ourselves is the cause of all suffering in the world, means it is the responsibility of those who have felt what connection is, to live this deeper every single day, without perfection. This devotion with ourselves simply and naturally emanates and the world receives this reflection and will start to question, is there something more to life?

402. Luz what a great blog…. I can relate to every word and am greatly inspired by your story. I haven’t been to a club or taken drugs for nearly 10 years but still am searching for connection and often get waylaid into another sneaky identification with something else outside of me, which may be less harming physically than drugs but essentially still distracts me away from making friends with myself first, eg. new sport, new job, new house, new friends… I recently heard a clip of one of my all time favourite dance tracks on Facebook and was instantly hooked and on YouTube hunting down the classics…. Having thrown out my old CDs a long time ago and never listening to the radio, I really hadn’t heard stuff like this for ages… And the effect it had on me was crazy! I loved it firstly, but simultaneously could feel the tension and pain in my body…. It’s like it was actually pulling me into a vortex to listen more, to get the high, to get the emotions…. I must admit I danced away and realised how much I’d missed dancing, but I clocked the expression on my face and it had such a bitchy attitude, hard like you wouldn’t want to mess with me basically. This was after my nice chilled out bath ready for bed on a Sunday so having wound myself right up i had to wash it out again. So I put the glorious music dance album on, and to my surprise, could still dance to that and still liked it – the expression on my face then, was just cute and my heart thankfully settled right down. That experience made me realise the ginormous impact music, clubbing and the need to belong to feel OK has on the whole planet. As you say how utterly amazing our world would be if we all TRUSTED that we can belong, by connecting with ourselves, and eachother all at the same time, without having to do or achieve anything, all whilst feeling pretty lovely.

     1. What you have shared is huge Rachael. The fact that by dancing to one type of music you found the expression on your face had changed to a ‘hard’ and ‘bitchy’ one and you noticed tension and pain creeping into your body, then when you started dancing to another type, Glorious Music this time, you felt tenderness in your face and your body settled down, shows it is not just the drugs and the alcohol, but the energy in the music itself has a profound impact on our body too.

        1. It is huge isn’t it Golnaz? I think Rachel has really picked up what most of us gloss over, the subtle yet distinct changes that happen to our bodies with music if we are not very aware. I have music around me much of the day and there are times where I can feel the pull and just observe it as that, there are other times where it gets in my body and it actually aches, I feel angry or sad, there is always an emotion.

        2. True Golnaz, the energy of music enters deeper into the body. We listen with our ears and are fooled by the tune and melody. Try and tell someone that their favourite music is harming them – this is how deceiving the energy of music is. Thank God for Universal Medicine for teaching how to discern energy and therefore music. I now only listen to music that energetically does not harm me.

     2. Great comment Rachael. Love your honest observations.

     3. Rachael you have described your experience so well and reminded me that I heard an old clubbing song recently. I too felt my whole body being pulled into the song and the fact that the song was wanting to have its way with me. It was a relief to turn it off and to return to me.

     4. I too can relate to recognising the energy and hooks of music that I loved in the past, just being so immediate and providing stimulation and pseudo connection. But what I also felt was the emptiness in me afterwards when the excitement dropped away.

        1. Yes. the gaping hole is felt when we try and fill ourselves with emptiness.

     5. My children often turn on the radio in the car, Kiss FM is their favourite – for me this had been a great exercise in understanding energy not only for myself but also for my children. When the dance tracks are playing i often start to feel a raciness in my body or a pressure on my chest. It been fascinating to witnessed how my 6 year old child’s body becomes like a conductor for energy, at times he moves in a way that is unfamiliar, oddly out of place for his age with sexual undertones. Although this can be disturbing to witness, equally it has provided such a valuable example of the energetic impact of music, something that we have all been able to discuss and read.

        1. What you have shared is profound Lucinda. Witnessing your 6 year old child at times display uncharacteristic movements “oddly out of place for his age with sexual undertones”. That is huge. It shows how the energy in the music can actually impact our choice of behaviour. And you do not have to be in a club to pick up the vibes of what is coming through behind the catchy tunes.

     6. Music has such a massive effect on us. I remember as a teenager I used to use it knowingly to change or amplify my moods, to get me pumped for a competition, or to drown in sadness – or whatever! I think it’s wise to never underestimate the power of emotions in music and how it can change the whole flow of your body as well as effecting every single one of your thoughts, and in my personal experience, it wreaks havoc.

     7. So true Rachael we are mostly unaware of the impact music has on us and how it can change our mood and give us highs and lows. This is why I love Glorious Music, you are free to enjoy the music and lyrics without any imposition whatsoever.

     8. Great sharing Rachael, such an interesting observation. I know the look you are referring to.

     9. What a fabulous experiment Rachael – thank you for reporting it here. And how wonderful it is to have music we can enjoy that not only has absolutely zero impact on the body but supports us to feel a true joy.

403. When we choose to re-visit situations, activities or old patterns after having finished with them- we receive a powerful reflection of what it was we were living and how far away it was from who we truly are. This is a new marker of truth for you Luz and one that you will go on to reflect to others around you. There have been experiences in the past where I have chosen to stay in something because it made me feel good and that I belonged, only to realise when I stepped out of it how much of an illusion it was. Much to ponder here – Thanks Luz for sharing.

     1. Christine, I was reflecting on the same thing as I was reading. When we go back to something we have left behind the contrast in the way we lived life before and how we now live really stands out. I have found when this happens that it really confirms to me that where I am now is definitely on the right track. What I have left behind was simply baggage that needed to be dropped off and I feel much lighter in my current life without it. Thanks Luz – what you have written is quite confirming in terms of my understanding of and commitment to living a loving and full life.

     2. I agree this is a new marker and great confirmation of how much closer Luz has moved towards herself 🙂

     3. I agree Christine that this is a “new marker of truth for Luz”. We all have these news marker presented to us often, only to allow them to slip away as we return to the old and comfortably familiar ways, that we accept as normal without asking if they still serve us.

        1. Yes Ingrid, one good marker for me is how I hold myself each time I visit my family. They reflect to me how much I have changed – how much I accept them and can love them unconditionally without being invested in wanting them to love me or needing them to change.

     4. Great point Christine, I know when I revisit some situations and old patterns it can be quite confronting how contra this way of living now feels to my body and my breath.

     5. I agree too Christine, Luz’s choice to re-visit an activity that is so common that most do not even stop to consider their reasons for doing it is a huge marker not only for Luz but for humanity too. The clubbing scene around the globe is enormous, thousands of teenagers and adults engage in this type of activity that Luz has described on a regular basis, dancing for hours, downing drugs and alcohol as a means to “connect” and relate to one another and “have a good time”. The choices that Luz has made and continues to make in her life that really nourish and empower her to establish truly loving relationships in her life with no props, artificial chemicals, alcohol or intense music (or other habits) is profound. Luz has proven that there is another way to live, a way to heal the depression, desperation and isolation, a way to celebrate, express and enjoy life free from the emotional and physical highs and lows that the clubbing life style exacerbates.

     6. I love what you have shared here Christine, I have many occasions where I have stepped back into my old patterns of living. The illusion is so much clearer when you are outside looking in, not so easy to see when you are in it.

        1. ‘The illusion is so much clearer when you are outside looking in, not so easy to see when you are in it.’ how true this is Kimweston2 as when stop being absorbed in the situations we are living, we actually can observe their true effect.

     7. Agreed Christine it is an awesome reflection for us all that shows often our old choices, ones we were so connected to were merely stopping us from truly connecting to our selves and actually self-harming. Moving to being an observer offers us an amazing opportunity to learn and as you say it then becomes a new marker within us, one that we can then reflect out to the world to show there is and can be another way. A super powerful blog!

     8. Great point Christine. I was able to re-visit where I had been at when I got my tattoo done in the first few sessions of its removal. Ai caramba! It was not pretty. Physically excruciating and emotionally devastating.

        1. Actually it strikes me that the common theme here is self-abuse. It’s just incredible how far the spirit will go in its efforts to have us think we getting what we truly need when nothing could be further from the truth.

     9. True Christine, a marker of truth is in the body else, we become a victim of circumstance entering the mind field of satisfying a new need the mind creates thinking that we have something new only to be in the illusion of another self-created ideal.

     10. It is deeply healing to be able to look back and see what we have fallen for and how it held us in a false belief that did not serve us. It is also deeply empowering to realise how far we have come and the choices we took to get there. Hindsight can be very powerful especially when the lessons learned can be applied to other areas which we may still be being fooled by.

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