Building Consistency

Years ago I attended a talk where the presenter spoke about taking one thing in our lives and making it consistent: a thing that we choose to do every day, and then build on this. That day I chose to start by folding my face washer and placing it either over the taps or now on a holder in our new home.

In the four years since I started this I have consistently folded my face washer every day. It is something that I have not faltered on, but in that time I have not built on other things with so much commitment… or that is what I thought.

I realised how this tiny little thing that I had chosen to do every day was actually quietly and consistently building with each choice that I made.

Once I make a choice to do something – like lovingly folding my PJ’s and putting them under my pillow each morning, or folding the dishcloth to wipe the bench – there is such a strong pull to do it every day, that if I choose to override what I feel to do, my body speaks loudly, giving me the opportunity to make a different choice.

By building this foundation of consistency it feels like I am held with such love that my body goes into slow motion until I choose to again commit to the loving choice that I had previously made.

Appreciating my Choices

I had not appreciated what a difference it was making, but this morning I felt the enormity of how it has been trickling into every facet of my life. I had been judging myself because I had not consciously picked other things to build on.

I can now see this one choice had created a chain reaction that affected every part of my life. I have been quietly building on other things without really noticing. Now my life flows, just like a thread that has been quietly stitching my life together on the inside.

All these things are a true reflection of how I have been living.

For me this is now very obvious in my home. I rarely have these moments where I am super-organised and then it drops. I may still have moments where things can slip, but they are pulled up pretty quickly. Every little thing I do is building on my foundation.

When I appreciate all that I am now choosing in my life – all the loving ways that make my day and the quality I am living in – I see things differently. By appreciating this consistency I have been building, I get to feel and appreciate me. The quality that I live in and the way I live, not just seeing the end results on the outside, I get to feel more of me on the inside.

I had been telling myself for a long time that appreciation is the key, but I was not really appreciating me, it was just words. Now when I feel appreciation it feels like my body is expanding with a smile on the inside. And it radiates all around me.

I now know in my body, what it feels like to build consistency. Slowly building an appreciation for all that I do, even folding my face washer. By appreciating all the little things that have changed in my life, I get to see the bigger picture of life more clearly.

When Simone Benhayon suggested to choose one thing to do and choose it consistently, I had no idea that it would have such an impact on my whole life.

Really, it was one little thing! This one little thing has shown me so much. It has reflected my level of commitment and consistency in all parts of my life, including my relationship with others.

By Denise Cavanough, Living Expression, Brisbane

Further Reading:
Sunrise and Sunset – The Dawning of Consistency
Organising my home – Choosing Order Over Complexity


956 thoughts on “Building Consistency

  1. I too have experienced over the years the changes that have occurred simply by being consistent with one thing. It spreads to all other areas of life in the same quality.

  2. Love this – such a valuable observation of the way that life is not about big complicated ideas and plans, but its about simple things done consistently, that trickle down into everything that we do.

  3. We begin with approaching one thing in life in the most loving way we cab and we bring that to ourselves everyday, it can’t but have a ripple effect on the way we approach the remainder of our life.

  4. I love this blog, I am inspired to commit to this each day and build greater consistency each day and to feel the difference this brings.

  5. When we only focus on what we haven’t yet mastered, we totally deny ourselves the joy and beauty of everything that we already are, and all that is to be enjoyed and appreciated

  6. ‘By appreciating all the little things that have changed in my life, I get to see the bigger picture of life more clearly.’ And it asks us to live from moment to moment and accept the quality we can live in each of these moments by being aware of these simple choices we make that make up the whole.

  7. What if the lesson of consistency begins with one small thing? As an incredibly inconsistent person you’ve definitely got me interested here and inspired to choose one thing and stick with it and see what happens from there.

  8. This also shows the importance of simplicity because if we notice our lives are not quite right we definitely will get lost when trying to change everything at once.

  9. The saying ‘from small acorns big oak trees grow’ comes to mind, when we consistently do one thing that supports us we start to appreciate it and then without thinking we become more consistent in other things and our consistency builds up and gives us a great foundation.

  10. “I can now see this one choice had created a chain reaction that affected every part of my life” A realisation that every choice we make affects the next … and the next.

  11. I have this consistency with writing bigger or smaller post like these comments on truth. Without having done that my day does not feel complete, having started the days with them feels like a foundation.

  12. Gorgeous to read Denise, it is in doing the small things in life with consistency that a solid foundation can be built little by little, just choosing one thing to be consistent with leads to more consistency in other things that we may not be aware that we are doing.

  13. The beauty I feel in this is how the body has taken autonomy over mind, and movement was taking place without the mind’s dictate, and what was left for the mind to do was to clock, appreciate and confirm.

  14. I love what you share here as I can feel the appreciation in your words through the process of looking back of what has become an absolute normal for you.

  15. It is a great reminder how just having one thing that we consistently do with love supports us and slowly it expands into other areas the more consistent we are. I also find it helps keep me on track and focussed when I have more of a structure to life.

  16. Choosing one thing and consistently tending to it leads to bigger and more things, to one’s whole life and the universe eventually.

  17. Lots of new activities and ways of being I no longer do and I have been judging myself as having very little consistency but today I began to count the things I have changed and been doing for several years and surprisingly there are quite a few. So I would like to appreciate you and your writing of this blog for I am now appreciating myself more too! I would like to add that I am aware how much some of these changes have positively impacted on other people and I am sure the ripples keep going out far and wide all the time.

  18. These tiny things are one of the most effective ways to grow quickly. Doing just one specific thing, however small, with awareness and love every day creates a marker that we can draw on at any time we choose to.

    1. I agree Christoph, it gives us a foundation to then go forward with rather than always feeling we need to start again. And then more we do it the stronger it becomes. Just like say with weights at the gym, the more you consistently you do them the more strength you build and so it is only when you stop for a bit that it feels like you are starting again. Otherwise each day you are building on the previous day.

  19. “By appreciating all the little things that have changed in my life, I get to see the bigger picture of life more clearly.” – I used to always look for the bigger things that I had done to appreciate in myself, but recently it has been an eye-opener to notice that there are so many qualities that I possess that are really naturally amazing and so beneficial for myself and others I am in relationships with, and that there is actually no ‘doing’ in any of these things. Also, it is so true that all the ‘little things’ actually build upon each other when we start with a simple thing (like doing my connective tissue exercises) and soon we have built a ‘new norm’ of self-loving acts throughout the day without even really trying.

  20. Gorgeous, there you go, we can see how truly implementing one true aspect in life can shed light on the rest and be considered to change too! How profound this teaching is.

  21. We underestimate how powerful consistency is, the more we commit to being consistent even the smallest of ways there is a beautiful flow on effect that can be felt far and wide.

  22. I love what you are presenting here. We all have a consistency in life with things we do, how we live, but it comes back to are the things we do supporting us in our health and vitality and wellbeing or are they smashing us? And what you show is that we can start with little steps to introduce loving and supportive actions to our daily rhythm that have an enormous effect in all areas of our life.

  23. We think change has to be some big fanfare don’t we, but change comes from doing one thing consistently and letting that impulse and that footprint build in other areas of our lives. It doesn’t have to be big at all but it has to come from a willingness to lay a foundation of truth.

    1. “It doesn’t have to be big at all but it has to come from a willingness to lay a foundation of truth.” I love these simple truths.

  24. I love what you have shared Denise, I started too with the making of my bed each day and taking the time to smooth out the wrinkles, and when I do it feels so beautiful in my body, “Now when I feel appreciation it feels like my body is expanding with a smile on the inside. And it radiates all around me. “

  25. It’s so easy to miss the fact of those little things we commit to and their ripple effects in our lives and how even if we slip we quickly feel the outcome and have a base to come back to … a great way to care for and parent ourselves.

  26. Thank you for sharing Denise and for me one of the things I am consistent with is sharing an appreciation text with a friend every day and that has been so supportive of building more consistency in my life as I am offered the opportunity to reflect on how much there is to appreciate in my life and areas for expansion with no beating myself up when I slip back into old behaviours.

    1. There sure is so often we/people can be full of words but without action they are meaningless and actually more harming. It is far better to be honest and say you are not going to do something than pretned you will and not do it.

      1. Yes, when we do that it is already a quantum leap towards truth as we do not hold ourselves any longer in the ideals we believe we have to fulfil but honour ourselves at where we are really at and how life really is for us.

      2. Simply honouring ourselves and what we are feeling is such a leap as you say towards truth as so many of us are brought up thinking we need to conform and fit certain pictures so deny and override what we are feeling.

  27. “when I feel appreciation it feels like my body is expanding with a smile on the inside.” Appreciating a consistency builds a consistency of appreciation.

  28. I love this blog and I agree. I do one thing each day for me that also lifts the house and that’s giving the kitchen bench a shiny clean after dinner. Just tonight I clocked how it felt when I cleaned. Have you felt something that is like rain falling from the Heavens. This is how it feels when I wipe the bench. The consistency reminds how to bring heaven to each moment.

  29. When I am consistent in one area of life it helps build that consistency everywhere. When I have a wobble or create an issue it unpicks that consistency and likewise goes everywhere. But it can be restitched everytime I return to my ‘one thing’.

    1. I have noticed that it builds consistency elsewhere but there is a ‘love bar’ and as I build more consistency in other areas of my life I notice earlier and earlier where that consistency is dropped by anything that hits the ‘love bar’ at which point I go – RIGHT that is IT!!! it makes me giggle sometimes at how much the love of my body calls me back with such dedication and then I realise how truly loving that is and perhaps I should stop paying so little attention that I get to a place my body has to call me back with such clarity.

  30. I love how choosing to be consistent with one thing and committing to it allows for that to grow into other areas of my life, thank you for making me aware to appreciated the consistency.

  31. Bringing a Loving focus to one thing consistently as you have shared Denise makes a Loving impression in so much of our lives, these Loving ways of living reflects in so many other aspects of our life.

      1. So true Willem, love showers us with so much that the ground before us is like a rose petal garden, so we do not get distracted from the deluge that awaits us.

  32. I’m appreciating how consistency allows another to trust in what they feel and the more consistent we become the more they can trust.

  33. It truly is amazing how powerful it when we consistently commit to love, or being loving in one aspect of our lives, how the awareness of what is loving and what is not naturally flows through in to every facet of our lives.

  34. “I rarely have these moments where I am super-organised and then it drops” That is so cool to appreciate as that is what many people often struggle with consistency and you just shared how you can do it. By starting with one thing and then it naturally comes in other parts of our life. It is like when we start to feel how lovely it is to care for ourselves that we naturally love to do it in other parts too without it being a chore from our heads, and also that letting it drop will not feel nice so we don’t, or change it back very quickly if we do.

  35. Building consistency through a little something (which may be huge for us) helps us to feel that we can support ourselves through it and it is only natural that we end up naturalizing that movement of doing things to support us and apply it widely and lovingly.

  36. I have noticed how I now neatly fold my dishcloth and gently hang it to dry, this feels so natural, loving and supportive. Whereas I used to just throw the dishcloth down on the bench and move onto to something else without any awareness of my movements. In the past few years my consistency to bringing more awareness to my movements, to my body and to being more loving and gentle has transferred to the small details of every day life. And, this is gorgeous to appreciate.

  37. ‘Every little thing I do is building on my foundation.’ And this will never stop when we appreciate all these little things like you’ve described. It is in every detail in our lives, what is It? The quality of love we choose because of the consistent attention and commitment to all we do.

  38. When we choose to do one thing we actually need to commit to, it brings in a rhythm of consistency and so will the places of inconsistency be more revealed. In a way this is inspiring as it reveals to us all the areas where we can bring more attention to , so that we can build even more of a foundation and consistency.. How beautiful is that.

  39. It feels a bit like in taking one thing and focusing on it it’s given you a whole new and deepened appreciation of all the small moments in life. How many people pay attention to the way the dish cloth is folded? But what if it’s these small moments and small details that dictate the overall quality of our whole life..?

  40. Consistently appreciating our choices that contribute to our quality and loving way of being is a wise choice, ‘By appreciating this consistency I have been building, I get to feel and appreciate me. The quality that I live in and the way I live, not just seeing the end results on the outside, I get to feel more of me on the inside.’ This is lovely.

  41. Our consistency — is key to every movement within our lives. the more gentle and supportive we make our movements — we build consistency and the more space we give for more… (expansion)

  42. Consistency is a key quality in our life in order to support us to truly develop or deepen our expression of who we genuinely are in all aspects in life. It’s not about being rigid or repetitive just for the sake of repetition but about building a consistency of quality in the way that we do things that allows us to build and expand on.

  43. This is an inspiring sharing Denise, and so important to appreciate our consistency, ‘Now when I feel appreciation it feels like my body is expanding with a smile on the inside. And it radiates all around me.’

  44. I have built consistency in one area of my life, I would now like to bring that consistency to another area that at present has no consistency.

  45. “By building this foundation of consistency it feels like I am held with such love that my body goes into slow motion until I choose to again commit to the loving choice that I had previously made”. Love this Denise. Starting out with one small thing can build a ‘chain reaction’ as you stated, that can then lead onto other things and so consistency builds.

  46. I have been offered the same reflection – since this project (call it my project) my life has changed. More consistency is building in my life, by my own choice – to start small consistently by one thing every day. This is a testimony of how much we can change – the power is in our hands.

  47. Thank you Denise, your story continues to inspire me. I have realised again after reading there are new consistencies in my life to be appreciated, and also that I can find moments where more can be added.

  48. I can look back and appreciate how much more consistent I have become in the way I live. Equally there is still a lot of inconsistency to be worked on… and more and more I notice the difference.

  49. As we live with more consistency in our lives we build a foundation that supports us during times when we feel shaken by what is going on around us.

  50. I have found exactly the same thing – that by focusing on just one thing, everything else starts to fall into place. If I start to think that the one thing is not enough, that I need to be focusing on the ‘bigger’ issues, then everything starts to fall apart pretty quickly. Focusing on one thing – feeling my feet on the ground – has helped me to build a relationship with my body and feel more connected to everything and everyone around me.

  51. Consistency is a quality that is sorely lacking for many people in a positive way. They may have consistency in watching TV, or eating chocolate, but do they have consistency of self-care, and self-love. It is something that can be changed easily by as you say just choosing one thing to be consistent at.

  52. I really enjoy folding clothing and it is something of a running joke in our house that my partner and I sit on the floor and lovingly fold each others clothing. It not only gives us a loving feeling within but it also feels so awesome when we are placing it in our drawers. This has now flowed into the way we fold and place our towels, linens and blankets in the linen cupboard, but so many other areas of the house. It’s amazing how the quality of our connection to our bodies expresses a quality of energy that is not only seen, but felt in full appreciation of the gesture first made. Consistency and quality truly are a match made in heaven.

  53. I agree. Committing to being consistent about bringing awareness and a quality of presence to one thing in my day has totally turned around my relationship with myself… the first up being a kernel of self worth and respect.

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