I cannot remember ever being as joyful in my life as I feel now. Living in a vital body, having amazing, deeply loving relationships with my wife, my family and friends and enjoying my work throughout the day to the best of my ability in full conscious presence.
The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more. This all started from the moment I met Serge Benhayon some 9 years ago and went to the Universal Medicine presentations, courses and retreats that he presents every year in the UK.
But my life has not always been like this as it was completely different before I met Serge and listened to the Ancient Wisdom he presents. I grew up in a family as the middle of three boys where my father was the provider of income and my mother took care of the household and all that came with that. It felt to me to be a functional family but lacking intimacy and true connection with one another.
I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it – but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life. All that was simply not there.
My voicing this is not to blame my parents or my brothers as it was what it was and it was a situation I equally was part of and contributed to. Nobody in our family had ever been told that life could be different and nowhere in our circle of acquaintances did we know people who lived this sort of joyful and appreciative life. We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”
I can now see what this growing up brought to me for my adult life. There was always an inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle between what life presented to me to be, and what I could feel inside of me. However, there was no reflection of that ‘other true life’ I innately felt, so I chose to work hard to maybe one day achieve that ‘other way of life.’
That lack of inner connection with the love I now know lives in all of us, made me go into the working hard as this brought me positive attention and from this, I built a certain level of self-respect and self-acceptance. Firstly, I put this working hard into my studies and into sports but was never able to sustain it. I always had to improve myself and it was never enough and so this pattern continued to permeate all aspects of my life.
In my professional life, this pattern of not feeling my inner self-worth made me strive to do my job as best as I could, and with that I tried to make everything perfect to the tiniest detail, never considering how much effort this required, nor how much strain I was putting on my body.
Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” It was never enough and I was still insecure about any decision I made. I doubted myself by letting others advise me about what to do or to choose, although I had all the wisdom, knowledge and experience to know all of this myself.
This pattern also played a role in being a husband, a father and a friend, where I always came from this same lack of self-worth, constantly striving to do it better. These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me.
Thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, the Universal Medicine Student Body and not least, my lovely wife and children, I am, without perfection, on the way to fully living that lovely, sensitive, tender and wise man I naturally am. I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.
I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so. This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.
Published with permission of my family.
By Nico van Haastrecht
Further Reading:
Returning to our essence
Learning to Find Me and Live My Life
Appreciation of Life and Ourselves
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“Just by being me”, is such a simple yet powerful statement. Years ago I wouldn’t have understood this statement, because I didn’t know what that meant. However, since meeting Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and many of the practitioners, my life is now just about being me. And In that it allows another to be just them too, instead of being in that facade of something else.
It is far from perfect but I would not like to live my life in any other way either. This is a true road to discovering oneself than any other roads/paths we have ever embarked upon. You just need to be willing to say yes to it and the rest will unfold.
“it was never enough” Through the presentations and teachings of the Ageless Wisdom, Serge Benhayon is an inspiration to reconnect and live in full the natural magnificence of who we are in our essence.
I agree, there is always more to discover about ourselves. And that more only comes when we ask and are prepared for it too.
Beautiful to hear and feel Caroline.
We spend too many years trying too many things and along the way we burn ourselves to cinder. Within everyone one of us is the essence that needs reawakening and that is our soul. When we have this relationship with this soul, then life is from joy and we are vitalised, our lives become so much more enriched, it isn’t worth any money, it is our oxygen that keeps our cells alive. That is real life.
What an amazing opening confirmation, to have this level of joy in your life is awesome, ‘I cannot remember ever being as joyful in my life as I feel now.’
Thank you Nico, and when we add together appreciation and intimacy you have a True team that will serve you and others.
Greg, appreciation and intimacy is huge play out within us, it is often lacking. Once we tap into this, then it is a different ball game, our lives are worth more and then we realise so are other peoples lives just as important. And how? By reflecting that anything is possible.
And intimacy is simply letting people in, or being open hearted so we understand they are also Loving beings and that the Joy we are living brings a deep understanding of how energetically appreciation works.
Without this being a criticism of anyone, it’s actually quite cruel that we don’t know how beautiful we each are in our essence. Life in family, education, work, relationships, etc, would be so profoundly different if we knew and cherished ourselves and each other for who we are. Beautiful Nico that you have been able to let go of all the striving and perfectionism to live from your essence and value that by appreciating yourself, I can definitely relate, my world now is so very different thanks to the support of Serge and Universal Medicine.
To live who you are in truth is joyful, ‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more. ‘
The need to prove ourselves in life to self or others comes simply from a disconnection from the Soul, for connected to the Soul, there is no need but to be and to bask in the beauty of who we are and from there live life to the fullest.
Why are we not encouraged to live connected to our Soul as children, this needs to be paramount, ‘There was always an inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle between what life presented to me to be, and what I could feel inside of me.’
It’s interesting to read this Nico
“My voicing this is not to blame my parents or my brothers as it was what it was and it was a situation I equally was part of and contributed to. Nobody in our family had ever been told that life could be different and nowhere in our circle of acquaintances did we know people who lived this sort of joyful and appreciative life. We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”
Because I was encouraged by the psychiatrist/ psychologist that I saw for many years to believe I was a victim and my parents were to blame. This allowed me to go even deeper into victimhood and it’s a very dark space to go into, not something I would recommend. So meeting Serge Benhayon and listening to his presentations and discovering that my parents were not to blame and that I wasn’t a victim went against all I had been told. I could have dismissed what he said as rubbish, walked away and continued to wallow in my victimhood and misery as I had the perfect excuse not to participate in life but what he said actually made sense to me. Serge Benhayon is the most practical no nonsense person I have met and he challenged all my beliefs and ideals, pressed all my buttons as it were but I felt he was onto something so I didn’t walk away, but attended as many events as I could and I’m so thankful I did as today I have left that dark space of victimhood and blame behind and now live an amazingly joyful life full of vitality sixty three going on twenty.
Yes Mary, any judgement we go in makes us go further away from the light that we are. When you meet Serge Benhayon, who lives his light in full, you can surrender again to this light and start to see life from the other perspective, from the light instead of from the dark space we have created altogether.
Having an amazing, deeply loving relationship is an interesting concept… its not the pretty fluffy relationship which lacks depth and if always nice and fun all the time. Its simply about being yourself, being present in the good times (and maximising the joy) and when things come up (maximising the wisdom and learning) so all of you / us can grow. I love that definition and for me its something to live by.
Joy in life can easily be seen in children, in their abundance of energy and their awe and excitement about life and everyone and everything around. Essentially to connect back to joy it is about letting us be children again in terms of connecting back to the wonders that we allowed ourselves to perceive back then. And this comes from a connection to our deeper essence.
And who wouldn’t want to live in joy instead of the functional way many families exist in, ‘I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it – but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life.’
We are all born bundles of joy and provided nothing interferes with us and we are allowed to grow and develop in our natural state, that joy will grow with us. However, our society is not set up in a way to foster and encourage that true joy and natural way of being and so we have agendas, goals, ideals and beliefs that we try to live up to and this is really what dilutes and then waters out almost completely the joy we can feel. But it is not lost forever, for when we come back to our natural way of being, then so too does the joy return and this is a beautiful thing indeed to enjoy though might need some time to get used to again! 😉
Such a beautiful article Nico, ‘the joy and vitality of living life’ is certainly possible when we live in connection to our essence.
‘Nobody in our family had ever been told that life could be different and nowhere in our circle of acquaintances did we know people who lived this sort of joyful and appreciative life.’ This is really important as if we do not have the reflection then we will not know. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon Family, Universal Medicine and many students of the Way of the Livingness we are starting to have a true reflection of how to live and be which I for one have found deeply inspiring.
Reading this blog reminded me how I used to think I always had to improve myself, instead of celebrating that I am already amazing. I thank God for Serge Benhayon. ‘I always had to improve myself and it was never enough and so this pattern continued to permeate all aspects of my life.’
Raising three children knowing the wisdom and love is there inside them is very confirming not just for them but for myself too. I don’t get anxious or worry about them as they grow up and take on new and different challenges in life because they feel secure in their own skin. I am here to support them in all areas of life but especially when there are forces coming towards them (and me) to try and bring us down. I know that everything they need is there and will always be there to tap into and guide them to be everything that they truly are and this awareness seems to be growing regardless of age as I deepen the relationship with self.
‘I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.’ It is a constant process of letting go of our identifications in life and to be aware how everything in this creation we call our world is trying to not let us feel who we truly are, the love we feel inside that is truly out of this world, the divinity we are from.
And too we have to understand that this is our normal, our birthright so to say to be joy-full in life – at any moment, always and that misery is not what we deserve to live.
We have so much more energy and zest for life when we are not battling with ourselves and trying to prove something. Life actually becomes incredibly simple when we embrace who we are without trying to change it or become more.
It is that inner battle that tries to keep life functional and controlled in order to not to have to surrender to the impulses of our soul, those impulses that will stop our zest in creation and let our self dissolve but will open us up to co-create in oneness with our Father instead.
I really love what you have shared here ‘Life actually becomes incredibly simple when we embrace who we are without trying to change it or become more.’ it resonates with me and I can feel how much more I can embrace me for just being me.
While as form childhood we have worked so hard to become an adult and in that hard-working, we mostly lose that simplicity that we had as a child. With hindsight, it would have been wiser to not have worked that hard.
Is not life very simple and very beautiful if we do not need to change it, but simply unfold the potential that is already there?
Appreciating, and being loving with ourselves is so important, ‘Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” ‘
We naturally and effortlessly become more AS A RESULT of simply being who we already are.
Nico I could so relate to your article I found myself relying on sports to give me that feeling of worth, the struggle and then the success followed by the deflation and then the hunger for what’s next, it was a constant cycle of never being satisfied. Now I have a true connection with myself I have no need for sports or anything else like that to make me feel good about myself because I now know who I am.
“a functional family but lacking intimacy and true connection with one another”. This could be said of the wider family of humanity. We all have a responsibility to bring light and lightness back into the world.
Yes Mary that defenitely is needed. The lightness needs to be brought back to humanity and a way to do this is to bring it in the families first and from there it will spread naturally over the world.
Nico I appreciate reading this again as it’s so relatable, it offers so much understanding about how we are brought up and how life can change when we are presented with another way, a different reflection of how we can live life connected to our soul. Really anything outside of ourselves that we use to try to fill the emptiness within will always be a dead end, it’s truly just that reconnection to our essence that brings us the contentment and fullness we seek. We can then take that out to life and bring it into everything we do, instead of trying to find contentment outside of ourselves.
How different life would be if we were raised in this fullness as of the beginning of our life and in a family that lives this fullness too. There would be no need to look outside for something we are missing from the inside but instead there will be that fulfillment that wants to bring itself out into the world.
When we start to live what we know inside and that is the the wisdom we all have access to. There comes an appreciation also from within which is part of our natural expression that comes out. And we will be be more aware that ‘trying to be better’ and being insecure are our own choices to be made or not to be made.
Beautiful claiming of how you now live Nico, ‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so.’
What a true joy it is to simply allow ourselves to be, with the knowing that everything is within us to bring forth.
Life in an invisible straightjacket of ideals, expectation, pictures and beliefs is arduous indeed and lacks vitality and joy. It might look good from the outside, ticking a lot of boxes and seemingly successful, but there cannot be any true settlement and ease.
It is also totally draining and exhausting – in fact the more we make it look good on the outside, the more our body cops it, because we’re forcing it to act in an unnatural way. As we let go and accept ourselves for who we are, and where we’re at right now, instead of trying to get to where we want to be, our vitality and body’s harmony naturally starts to restore itself.
Nico I imagine you capture what many people feel, the striving towards a better life and the working towards something to fill what feels missing, for many they believe it’s in retirement and accessing another way of life then. What you have shared is that the other way of life, that something we know is missing, is right there within us. It’s reconnecting to ourselves and to our soul and simply being and appreciating all that we are.
Beautiful, beautiful sharing that says the answer is not in bettering, improving, efforting or striving but simply in reconnecting to our Soul. Your first paragraph – who wouldn’t want to live like that more than going for a bigger house, more money, more of this and more of that? “The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more” – something that is so available to every one of us, something we should have never given up in the first place.
Once the inner fire is lit, we can then light the path for those around us, just by our being.
What we learn about life during our upbringing puts us in a box from where we relate to it (and to us). As we become the box… that contains us from developing, life too becomes about boxing. When this happens you are faced with a dichotomy: should (can) I stay in the box, or should (can) I step outside of it? This goes on until we realize that boxing was the problem in the first place.
The feeling of a lack of self worth is such a killer as everything is not enough as one is not enough. Regaining that, as you so humbly share Nico, then, “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so” and with that comes the inner joy which enhances all around one not only oneself.
I also have felt that deep dissatisfaction throughout my life and then when I read one of Serge Benhayons books I realised that he knew that feeling also. This had never been expressed to me by any of the spiritual leaders I had come in contact with prior to meeting Serge. Since attending presentations run by Universal Medicine, I no longer get the deep sense of despair that was in my life.
I find it quite challenging to express in words how amazing it is to “no longer get the deep sense of despair that was in my life” and for that I will forever be thankful to Serge Benhayon for showing me the way back to myself and in doing so to have purpose and fulfilment in my life and myself.
We often say or feel that God has abandoned us and blamed others for our woes, where in fact it is us who walk away from that inner connection to ourselves and our loveliness. Universal Medicine can and does remind us of this connection as a birthright and that it is our choice to accept it or reject it.
Universal Medicine is universal medicine for all and its teachings are common sense, very practical and nothing than what we don’t already know.
I realised sometime ago that what ever I did, and no matter how much I tried, it was never enough, the problem being that I felt that I was never enough. As I am learning to bring more self love and care into my life I am feeling my own self worth, that I am enough, just being the beautiful gorgeous me.
Your first sentence says it all for me Nico as at the tender age of 68 “I cannot remember ever being as joyful in my life as I feel now”. Growing up 68 seemed so old and my view of life at that age seemed very bleak and all ‘downhill’ as the saying goes. Well it couldn’t be further from the truth and that truth I have come to understand from the presentations of Serge Benhayon. Now 68 seems really young to me and I am sure that the joy that I live with is supporting me to feel younger and younger every day.
Having to prove ourselves is such a toxic pattern…. constantly looking for approval, trying to fit into a pre-determined shape, having that deep insecurity that we are not enough. Exhausting, and so at odds to how we come into this world… carefree, naturally ourselves, and ready to just give it a go.
Why did no one support us to stay connected to our essence when we were children? I guess because it became the ‘norm’ to disconnect and enjoin others, as I don’t recall meeting anyone living their true essence. If we learnt to hold onto our essence when we were young I am sure self-worth issues would hardly exist.
We try so many things outside of ourselves to be accepted, to be enough, and all we are left with is the emptiness and a feeling that something is missing. It is so amazing that what we seek and what we long for lives deep within us, and when we connect to our divine essence and live life from that connection we are enough, just being us.
I love joy which is not surprising as joy is from the same family as love. I also love working hard in joy.
“The Joy and Vitality of Living Life” – is as i’ve had the absolute pleasure in experiencing, with the presence of love that is lived. The quality of love is the quality of life.
Living in a functional way helps us survive day to day human life but the more lovingly we actively stoke our fire within the more we cannot but lighten up and bring our relationships with both ourselves and others alive.
Today I was walking along the street with such a bounce and swagger in my step that I could not help being joyful and for the joy to be felt by others.
‘I was still insecure about any decision I made’ I can relate to this and felt a level of insecurity this week, I realised that this feeling of insecurity was what I used live with and to accept as my normal. Now, I have a steadiness within which supports me not to fear the decisions I make, if I make a choice now and that proves to be a bit of a stuff up well that’s cool because I can learn from it. No self bashing needed. So much has changed in recent years, thanks to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom and even by only the smallest percentage of what Serge Benhayon presents we can complete change our lives. I now find it hard to believe that I accepted living with a constant anxiety and insecurity as my normal which was not normal at all.
I have also felt insecure about decisions I have made, in fact I have had times when making a decision at all has been a major feat. I find your blog here really inspiring, the spaciousness and feeling of joy you express here for life is gorgeous, thank you Nico van Haastrecht.
Spaciousness is certainly something that is missing when it is just about ticking boxes and submitting ourselves to a picture of how life should be.
Knowing yourself for who you are via that reconnection to your essence is the most joy-full experience to hold and unfold – the depth of who you are and what you genuinely offer uniquely to the world.
Lovely to read, Nico, and even more lovely to see the changes in you over the years I have the pleasure to know you. Your final paragraph says it all, “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so. This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.”
“loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are,” Serge Benhayon inspires, by the way he lives, a true way of living with love.
“I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.” It is interesting that we are always striving to be something that we are not, when all we have to do is to connect and surrender to who and what we all ready are, from deep within.
There are so many things that serve to deprive us from living a life of ‘joy and vitality” and the endless seeking of perfection is one of them. Trying to be perfect in everything we do is exhausting and if this perfection is sought day after day it is understandable that our precious body will begin to suffer. To accept life as it is and to allow it to unfold in its own time, and in its own glory, denies exhaustion a place in our lives, so making plenty of space for joy and vitality to be our normal way of being.
We think that the feelings of wanting or needing to prove ourselves are to do with another person, but actually it’s our own sense of inadequacy that leads to the lacking of sense of worth, and hence our relationship to US is what can change this.
Beautiful comment – brings it all back to how what choice are we going to make about this life?
Thank you Nico, as a student and also in my work life I would at times put myself under incredible strain to do my best, and everything was related to the end result. I never understood at the time that I was enough just for being me, no where was this message or reflection being lived in others for me to see. I am still letting go of this approach to work so that I value myself and all I bring to my day and not the functionality alone of completing work tasks well. Although we need this world to function via the productivity of workplaces, more than anything we need this world to evolve, and that comes from living connected to our essence and soul everyday.
When we are trying to be a ‘good’ person or ‘good at our job’ there will be a lack of appreciation and joy. When we set a marker of our worth outside ourselves it can never feel fulfilling or joyful. Appreciation comes from feeling the loveliness and realness inside us at each moment, not from any goal outside us.
Yes, I agree, trying just doesn’t work, feel our worth is about our connection to ourselves, feeling our exquisiteness and letting life unfold from there.
‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling this expands and becomes more.’ Beautiful Nico a simple expression of true evolution.
“It felt to me to be a functional family but lacking intimacy and true connection with one another” – valuing the way your post carries and holds such intimacy and connection Nico, you show us through your ‘before and after’ story how possible it is and how life can be when we choose (to) love.
We come to this world, land in a family that has ‘its’ ways, through which we learn what is normal. We bundle with like-minded people, cementing even further the idea of normality. Over time we are exposed to other ‘normalities’ and we relate to them from ‘ours’ till we realize it was never truly ours in the first place.
Much of what we have come to accept as normal in society is anything but ‘normal’.
“The Joy and Vitality of Living Life” – Nico even just reading this title alone i.e without reading your blog…I was just thinking about how many of us can honestly, truly say we are enjoying life in this naturally (not artificially stimulated) vital way?? Love how your blog goes on to describe and inspire how to do so…when there is love as the core foundation. Beautiful.
” I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so. ” This is beautiful Nico thank you for sharing.
It is great to read in the comment above by Elizabeth, how living and working with purpose has brought vitality to her life. Maybe what we all need is a sense of purpose, and not a cup of coffee.
I have been finding that the more I work with a sense of purpose the more vital I become. Purpose definitely brings vitality.
Hi Elizabeth, I can sense that too, the more I can connect to the wisdom in my body and live that, the more I can feel the purpose of life. That this is the purpose of life, to give expression to that Ageless Wisdom I am connected to. And the livingness that this way of living life brings, makes my body alive again and in that it slowly it regains its vitality, simply by activating The Way of The Livingness in my body.
What a turn around from never feeling enough, and searching on the outside, to now accepting and loving yourself, ‘ I am, without perfection, on the way to fully living that lovely, sensitive, tender and wise man I naturally am. I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.’
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.” And it’s that true of probably 99.9% of the families in the world, but only because there hasn’t been anyone around reflecting that life can be another way – one full of love, joy and appreciation. Until Serge Benhayon came along that is. Now there are hundreds of people living this way to the best of their ability, reflecting to everyone they meet that life doesn’t have to be hard – it’s our choice.
This is beautiful and so true in my experience, ‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more.’
Nico I agree with you when you said, ‘I cannot remember ever being as joyful in my life as I feel now. Living in a vital body.’
I have more joy and vitality now in my 60’s than when I was in my 30’s and 40’s this is amazing and my family are in awe as they feel I’m getting younger not older and cannot understand it. They see the choices I make with my food and drink as being disciplined but to me I actually love and adore my body so why would I want to trash it with food that will upset the harmony I have reconnected with again within me, it doesn’t make any sense to do this.
“Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” It was never enough and I was still insecure about any decision I made.”
I know this belief and the way it runs the body so very well. The appreciation we must come to resides innately within us, but is forever at arms reach in when we are staying stuck in trying to prove our worth.
“However, there was no reflection of that ‘other true life’ I innately felt, so I chose to work hard to maybe one day achieve that ‘other way of life.’”
This is so true for myself and I wonder just how many feel there is more to life, and how much this feeling begins to be dulled and disregarded in getting caught in the current paradigm that society is today. My feeling is that there are many who ‘give up’ on finding what the feel to be true. This ‘give up’, to me is a tragedy of exorbitant proportions.
“This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.” Beautiful Nico. Reconnecting to our innermost – which patiently waits for us to do so when we are ready – opens us up to so much more in life.
I was also struck by these words Sue. Nothing outside of us will ever confirm us like the love, joy and fiery warmth of our soul.
I would agree, life was more functional before meeting Serge Benhayon, and so missing many vital components like ‘appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life.’
When we are present and with our bodies we feel connected and with this comes a sense of joy even if we are doing something that is perceived to be mundane.
‘I doubted myself by letting others advise me about what to do or to choose, although I had all the wisdom, knowledge and experience to know all of this myself.’ Living life relying on others to advise us is exhausting, leaves us lacking in confidence and with more doubt.
Like many others who’ve commented, I too recognise the idea that life has to be hard, and if it’s not we’re somehow not trying hard enough. I can joyfully write that this is no longer the case, thanks to the inspiration from Serge Benhayon and so many other incredible people in the Universal Medicine student body. I am really and deeply starting to feel and know that I am enough as me – period. No frills no caveats, being me is everything that is ever needed.
I grew up with this idea too Nico that life had to be hard work to be worth it – like it wasn’t enough to just ‘be’ and enjoy being yourself, but that life was about proving yourself in some way, working hard to prove your existence and to not be ‘found out’, told off for being lazy or stupid. Turning the tables and starting to understand that nothing I ever do will be more than who I am, is like turning around an oil tanker in mid-flow, but it’s so totally worth it, because with that comes an enormous letting go, a freedom, simplicity, and so much joy.
Beautifully expressed and shared thank you Nico, ” I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.” this too I am learning, simply allowing this knowing to be, and appreciating this is something I can go back to whenever I stray.
Reminding us all of the so called ‘impossible’, as we deeply but oh so deeply know that we can life from a joy and vitality in life, yet we also know that this has been not the way we are living – and that it needs a deeply made change. Meaning a quatum leap to what we have created to be ‘life’, we need to look honestly and drop that which we actually know that does not serve us and so naturally not others.
Thank you Nico, it’s a true blessing to receive the support of the work of Serge Benhayon and begin to live the way of the soul on earth. I could relate to this line “I doubted myself by letting others advise me about what to do or to choose, although I had all the wisdom, knowledge and experience to know all of this myself.” We don’t as a culture truly appreciate or confirm the amazing qualities we have, which I feel is part of allowing self doubt and unnecessarily looking outside of ourselves. Whilst it’s truly beneficial to seek support, we also need to feel how much we have to offer ourselves, and how much we can rely on our own wisdom and knowing.
And my experience of reconnecting to the spark inside me is that this is the beginning of an enormous and forever unfolding relationship… the more I acknowledge and honour the truth of this spark (which we all have and is therefore our re-union) the more it gets to emanate.
Yes Matilda, and with never-ending depths to expand into.
I too have struggled with not feeling enough in life. It is wonderful to come to a place of acceptance where you can say ‘I am enough,’ and drop all the trying and striving for the unobtainable perfection.
This is so familiar – we can try very hard to be better and live better only to reinforce the lack of self-worth and when we learn to simply just be, true joy returns.
A true reminder that we are already everything – there is no need for striving, trying or perfection…. simply to live the real and true us.
I too have grown up trying to prove myself and or identifying with the type of person or job I wanted to do and then excelled at it but the drive on my body was agonising. Appreciating and valuing who I am already, before I even set foot into my job and or family role allows me to truly see what makes me tick and that the very essence of who we are is worth far more than any job title, possession or picture of what we think brings us so much joy and yet it falls way short of the natural vitality, expression and love we are already by simply walking and connecting from our bodies. A great blog thank you Nico.
There is nothing really fulfilling in what we do, but in what we are. Something very simple and sadly, very uncommon in our families and society.
It’s normal to just get by, it’s normal to be seen as doing it tough, it’s normal to exist in life and settle for less – this can only be because the majority are choosing it. We need a different reflection and new standard for life – one that reflects Joy and the lightness of our being in everything we do. Then the mundane settlers will be exposed for the lack they are living.
Sometimes I see snippets of when people allow their joy to be seen. It is a pure delight to observe as it lights up not only their face but the whole room.
It only takes one person to be connected to joy for the spark to be rippled out.
Like your first two paragraphs I can say my life is amazing now, but it hasn’t always been. But through the consistent love and living example of there being another way of life through Universal Medicine I too have been inspired. The way we live is very powerful as we are all watching each other and confirming that theres only one way or that there is another way away from the ‘life is hard’ belief.
Today I watched a woman today all bubbly and ‘happy’ she arrived at her workplace. She was just about to start work and was taking over the register where I was being served. What came out of her mouth next was the give away, as she shared that she didn’t want to be there. What was being projected on the outside did not match what was actually going on. When there is no appreciation for what we actually bring and share, nothing can actually hide this.
Gorgeous, Nico. And gently consciousness-breaking, showing us a new way to be with ourselves, at work and in our families. Universal Medicine and all those who are choosing live in accordance with the philosophies it presents are pioneering something very special.
Valuing who we are plays a big role in how we see ourselves in life and how we then move with it or against it. When we value our every move we see just how precious and needed those movements are and the quality felt from the movements is pure heaven.
Surrender is so under-rated. Humanity can be so ‘egotistical’ is believing that they know all that is to be known. To Surrender is to allow all that we are – the wisdom, love, tenderness and presence to be our way. Surrendering is the choice that brings deep truth and awareness.
Christine thank you for your powerful comment, it’s a beautiful way to see the world and I can feel this comes from your personal (lived) truth. There is such a humility in surrender, to simply allow ourselves to be all we are and all the wisdom and love we come from, no knowledge needed.
I can relate with what you share about valuing yourself in your work and with what you bring to life. This is a pattern that has been there in my own life too and it stems from the needs of security that we develop when we are at school. I am letting go of this too and standing more and more in the potential of what I can bring and the truth I feel in my body. In that way I can let go of tension, pressure, anxiety and stress and appreciate and enjoy myself in what I do knowing it will naturally be amazing anyway.
it is interesting to consider that as of young we can make either choises to live a life in denial of who we are or we can choose to live to our essence, the fire that lives in us and to not allow to let anything come in between but to nourish and appreciate this essence to become more instead.
For years I have focused my life on doing and what needs to be done rather than the quality that I’m doing whatever it is that I’m doing in. By bringing connection to myself and my movements, the quality changes, I let go of the struggle and I feel a joy in the simplicity of the way that I am living.
‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life’ As I read this line I could feel myself surrender and I realised how much I still feel I need to prove myself when there is absolutely nothing to prove in me just being me. I can feel the sadness with which I go through life still putting on a facade and believing that somehow I am not enough when I know that by being myself there is just simply nothing more to be.
“learning to surrender’, is something I am still learning, but when I do surrender, I can feel grace flowing through me. We do not have to fight, to push, to struggle and make life complicated, and there is so much support available to us when we surrender to whatever life presents us with.
There is great joy in paying attention to the details. Nothing is ever too small to bring our all to.
No matter how we are raised and what our upbringing has made us to believe we are, there is always a choice to return to that love that resides in our inner hearts.
Yes and it’s never to late to do so.
Its a revelation to know joy is always within, sitting with its brothers of love, and stillness, waiting for us to connect to it.
True connection with another is more meaningful than any skill we may ever acquire or ideal we accept.
Yes and yet this is not fostered in schools where the focus is becoming more and more on the importance of maths, English and computing (which are indeed important) rather than the quality of connection and relationships we have with one another.
What stood out to me was the importance of choosing the values we want to be the foundation of our family and life. Once they were working hard and trying to make the best of it and now they are appreciation and enjoying being with each other whilst of course still working hard. Such a massive difference.
Thank you Nico, there is absolutely nothing more joyous than living in connection with our soul, for it takes far more work and drains on our bodies when we have to live life pushing through in disconnection and controlling our every movement in order to feel safe and secure. There is abundant love for all we just need to choose it and make it our true foundation.
Thank you Nico. It is truly gorgeous what Serge Benhayon inspires through how he lives as well his teaching and healing modalities. Living with immense connection; love and joy, whilst also working hard with an absolute dedication to serving humanity at the deepest level.
A beautiful sharing Nico and one I can relate to very well as I used to live in a constant state of looking for love and connection outside of myself whilst all the time ignoring the immense love within me that was waiting patiently for me to re-connect to it. I am forever grateful for Serge Benhayon presenting and living this truth consistently as it inspired me to also choose to live this as well.
Nico, thank you, I can deeply relate to what you write.. It makes a lot of sense and brings me to a deep understanding of why I had chosen to be where I am , and why I am here. Understanding my choices : being loving choices but also loveless choices captured a very humble and sensitive feeling within me that I need to more deeper claimed. I am enough. Very deeply so.
This sentence really captured for me the above revelation:
‘In my professional life, this pattern of not feeling my inner self-worth made me strive to do my job as best as I could, and with that I tried to make everything perfect to the tiniest detail, never considering how much effort this required, nor how much strain I was putting on my body.’
All is said in that. Everything is in there I have felt for so long, did for so long and kept myself imprisoned in for so long.. until now. Almost brings tears to my eyes. Thank you, again.
Thank you for sharing this Nico. What I am finding repeatedly is that when we share what we live rather than what we think with no lived experience to back it up it becomes more relatable and thus universally applicable. The teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have also expanded my life in such a way where joy is and can easily be an everyday if not a constant in my life if I so choose.
Thanks Nico… Really… It would be so wonderful if we took on what was written about here… Imagine pausing every day, every morning and feeling and appreciating ourselves, expressing that to ourselves, and expressing appreciation of each other… what a foundation this would be for our lives.
Funny – when we find what we have been looking for our entire lives, and its there inside of us all of the time. We can turn this into a lifelong journey that is arduous and complicated, or we can recognise what is there inside of us all of the time and simply choose that.
Every action we have done to prove our self worth, true, it may have been harming to our bodies. But can we also appreciate the details we have developed in awareness throughout life? It is not what we do, but what energy propels us to do those things…so we are pretty amazing when we simply choose to live life in love, rather than in recognition.
The reconnection to our inner heart activates the particles in our body to say yes to movements that express who we are in full without question and that is truly breathtaking to behold and appreciate.
What you share is such a common theme in most peoples lives. We are set up from a very young age to search on the outside for confirmation of our love and what we offer. Re-discovering that it is only us that need give this confirmation is a game changer in life.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”” I can completely relate to this, we also grew up in a community where the belief was life is hard and you have to work hard and make life work for you. With this belief I also was caught up in lack of self worth no matter how good I was.
Nico, I can relate to what you shared about doubting yourself at work even though you bring great skill and care to your job. I used to be that way and used perfectionism to try to avoid ever making a mistake (a futile task indeed) so as to appear to be a super valuable and skilled mechanic. This was a very paralyzing and exhausting way to approach my work. But after finding Universal Medicine I have now come to appreciate what I bring to my work beyond the mechanical skills and have noticed that things flow more easily without the great pressure I had placed on myself to always be ‘more’ somehow.
I can feel the joy this brings to your and your work Michael when you bring all of you to work and not only your skills.
Gorgeous to read Michael. And the reflection this offers also releases others from this ideal and pressure.
Appreciating our selves for who we are and exactly where we are at from a place of wonder, observation and loving understanding and acceptance, starts to reveal amazing realisations. To me this is the foundation of re-claiming the deep qualities that may have been hiding under the layers of ideals and beliefs. The ones that have us doubting, worrying, looking for recognition, and thinking we have to work hard at something. When we are in full acceptance of who we are we don’t have to work hard at anything , what we need to know and do next is revealed.
“ I doubted myself by letting others advise me about what to do or to choose, although I had all the wisdom, knowledge and experience to know all of this myself.” I know the environment I grew up in has been an amazing fertile ground to learn the lesson for truly discovering myself worth. As I’m retuning more deeply to knowing I have the wisdom, insights and can trust myself fully there are lessons along the way that I’ve realised are essential to deepen my own knowing. Without my own experiments and experience how will I truly know what is absolutely true for me? If I go with other’s advice I’m actually living their truth in my body and this has never ended so well. I’m discovering embracing and being in wonder and observation of the lessons is fun, incredibly supportive and absolutely freeing from the fear of getting something wrong or making a mistake.
Beautiful blog Nico, I can very much relate to what you’ve shared. My life 4 years ago, from the outside looked ideal, loving and perfect but inside I was feeling a huge tension from living a life lacking joy, vitality and true love. I was so used to living with a measured level of love which in truth was not love because true love is not restrictive or controlled but expansive, limitless and always consistent, grand and not owned by us but it is expressed through us. Also learning to appreciate myself and life has ignited more joy and deep connection with myself and people. Thank you Nico for your amazing blog.
It is an interesting illusion that we have in today’s society, that we reach a certain destination we them get to ‘live the life’ so that we don’t really have to be part of life and simply sit back, relax and cruse. Yet ironically, it is in the living of life through our every single day, where the magic truly lies. Within us all we already are everything that we could ever want for, and in appreciating ourselves and the qualities that reside within we discover a real life that is joy-filled, extremely loving and forever fascinating. As through our connection to who we are within we can all live a life together that is truly magical.
This is so true Carola, it certainly is an illusion aiming to live ‘the life’. When we fall for this illusion it takes us further away from our true path and we end up feeling lost. Yet life is so simple, like you’ve shared and it is through connecting to the magic of every day with deep appreciation that this reveals the grandness we already are.
Exquisitely beautiful and wise – indeed all that we could ever ask for is a known, living way within us all …simply awaiting us to express forth the truth we are.
Absolutely Deborah – well said. How uncomplicated life is whenever we simply allow our truth within to guide us.
From applying the teachings of Universal Medicine in my life I can now say that my life too is absolutely, imperfectly, amazing. Recently however I have not felt vital but run down and as I read your life before UM previously it would of been a moment of confirming that I am all those negative situations. Something has shifted as this has not happened today. It’s all down to how we choose to be in life. Just because some moments arn’t amazing doesn’t mean I am less than amazing.
I love this comment Leigh – ‘my life too is absolutely, imperfectly, amazing.’ I can feel the celebration in your words, and the philosophical approach to when life doesn’t feel so great.
Exactly Leigh, our less than amazing moments are a bit like clouds in front of the sun, it doesn’t mean the sun (son) still isn’t burning bright.
Without the sun we wouldn’t even see the clouds! there’s always a light behind it.
Nico, it is only recently that I have learnt that life can be truly joyful, that to do well in life does not equal struggle and that success has nothing to do with whether I have a family or how well or not I do in my career. Reading how you describe your family life from the delicate and tender man you are is inspiring as I can just imagine how lovely it would be to spend time immersed with in your home.
We blame circumstances that we cannot change or control for how we feel when we can choose the quality of our thoughts and inner world by discerning the energy we are drawing from.
I agree Fiona, to any given circumstance we always have the opportunity to choose if we are to respond and grow or react and contract.
Yes, this is a simple truth that so many of us are not aware of and thus we stay in the confines of the systems we have created.
When we feel our bodies more and more in every movement we begin to re-ignite our whole body intelligence and this is a true gift for we then unleash the pure essence of our true expression and that is a homecoming worth sharing with all. Thank you Nico.
A very in depth and personal journey shared with us all. Thank you for your inspiration Nico,
It is gorgeous to read words of appreciation for yourself and to share this with your family and the world. This is what we need more of, men who feel how tender they are and acknowledge it.
So true Julie, it is very healing when men can express in their tenderness, so great to confirm this.
The pictures and beliefs we hold around family really keep us locked into this pattern of comfort and not truly seeing what is really going on in our family lives today. Many families may appear to be loving and happy but what does that truly mean? When we begin to surrender to who we truly are a lot of emotional ties and images of what we feel is true family are blown sky high. It is only when we return to the connection of our bodies that we can really see what family life is really like for many today and how far away we have swayed from it.
The world will be a very different place when we realise the family is not bound by blood.
“Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” It was never enough and I was still insecure about any decision I made. I doubted myself by letting others advise me about what to do or to choose, although I had all the wisdom, knowledge and experience to know all of this myself.” I know this feeling so well in my body. A massive lie that l have bought into all my life. That l somehow was not enough. By who’s standards?
This is not a truth and needs to be cleared from the body by deep appreciation of myself, absolute appreciation.
Stunning example of how all we need to do is show ourselves Nico… we can believe that it’s how hard we work or what we get done that makes us who we are, but that’s just a coating that we have thought is what others want to see. You sharing you in this blog Nico, there is nothing better to feel then that.
When we re-connect to our self and to the true source, which is love, we know what needs to be done next with no effort or push or need to be any-one other then who we naturally are. Life becomes simple and joy-full’
Nico, this is beautiful, ‘Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” I can very much relate to this, I have always had a lack of self worth around my work until recently, reading that it is our lack of inner connection that means that we doubt ourselves and are always trying to be better and not appreciating ourselves and what we bring, this really makes sense and makes me realize that no amount of praise and recognition from others will ever give us true self acceptance and confidence, this can only come from our inner connection.
Our attitudes and beliefs about life can shape the heaviness we might feel in our day to day. Thankfully I too came across the teachings of Serge Benhayon and began to bring so much more love and joy and tenderness back into my life…I still find that there are times when it is almost a scripted thing to make things more difficult, laborious and serious in my day to day…but this is only when I have dropped away from my natural way of being which is naturally (!) more light more joyful and free of boxing myself in to being a certain way. A great reminder Nico, to keep things light and to realise that this lights our way forth!
What a relief it must be to let this false and draining pattern go, no wonder there was no joy, ‘I always had to improve myself and it was never enough and so this pattern continued to permeate all aspects of my life.’
Nico what you describe is the blessing we are all offer continuously if we so choose to see it. And that is connection to God and all that it offers. We all know that it exists, for we all feel it within, we are just so lost with the images and pictures we have seen on our travels through life. Every now and then we are offered a brighter gift in the form of another, who shows us another way to live with this connection to God in every movement, that’s when we know that true joy and connection is possible every moment, these gifts are worth appreciating.
I certainly had not had an example of true joy lived on a daily basis until I met Serge Benhayon.
Many of us blame our parents and family for the way things have turned out, however very few of us reflect on this and take responsibility for the way they have contributed to the bess – very good point!
It is easy to get lost in drive to achieve more or better our lives at the expense of not only appreciating but taking the time to deepen what we already have. Once reconnecting to ourselves and the awareness that comes with that, it becomes clear of needing to let go of these beliefs and patterns that we can allow to control or consume us, and easier to see what is important. How to best move forward with that as our foundation is then already part of our next step.
It is now my truth that joy and vitality are within waiting to be reconnected to, this has been a life changer for me, thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine
Beautifully shared Nico, to live in our essence brings us a joy and connection that has the power to bring true change to all relationships and situations in our lives.
“This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.” The choice to understand and appreciate this and live with this awareness is a wonderful reflection to everyone, humanity is calling for the loving reflections of who we truly are.
I can complicate life at times yet within the connection to my essence there is only simplicity. It is learning to live this knowing that in my essence I am everything, always have been and always will be regardless of what is not true.
Nico, I really enjoyed reading this article, it helps me realise why in society we can work so hard – putting in so much effort, because there is a lack of self worth here and self doubt that what we are producing is good enough, we can be blinded to what we bring and often do not value ourselves, I lived like this for many years and would get exhausted working because I always thought I had to do more because I lacked self worth. Now that I have much more self worth and do not doubt myself like I used to I really enjoy my work and value what I bring and so I do not need to produce over and above, I simply do what is needed and then move on, this is a very simple, much more loving way of working and being.
“It felt to me to be a functional family but lacking intimacy and true connection with one another.” This is common for many families, to have been functional, to make ends meet and in that process the connection the love all forgotten. I know it was in my family and many of our family friends. It has now changed where there is true connection with one another and it a a beautiful feeling.
Beautifully said Nico. “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire,” When we reconnect to who we truly are we discover we are so much more than we ever considered possible.
Spot on Mary, there are endless opportunities when we connect to our true selves.
“Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” It was never enough and I was still insecure about any decision I made.” I can so relate too this, and it feels so crippling, I am just began to let it go and beginning to surrender to my essence and know that I am all ready everything.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”” I grew up with the same beliefs and all my life I have strived to do the best to make it work, it has been extremely exhausting on the body and the mind. Now with the awareness I have this has began to change, still working on it, but the beliefs have faded.
Love your appreciation Nico. Developing our appreciation changes everything and we can see the love that is right in front of us..
If we do not value what we do there is no platform to base our next move upon so we get hooked into the insatiable drive to constantly do everything better and tick those never ending boxes without a focus of quality nor an appreciation of quality full stop.
And how often do we take a stop to appreciate the quality of our choices? Breaking the momentum for even just a moment is very powerful.
It is beautiful to read this Nico, it is in rekindling the inner knowing that we connect to the men that we are.
Once we recognise that it is not about what we do and how much we do, but rather the quality in how we live our every moment, then we can begin to live free from the judgement, pressure recrimination we put on ourselves that guarantees we do not hold that connection to ourselves and hence to all. The one is crushing humanity the other uplifting back to knowing the truth of who we are. which world would we rather choose.
I too never considered the abuse I was doing to my body by trying to do everything in perfection. Everything I did was about getting it right placing everything on the task at hand. It would take me so much longer to do things forever putting pressure on myself to find that I was always behind what I was being asked to do. I realise now that whenever I take longer than what is needed to do something I am indulging and distracting myself from taking responsibility and committing to life in full and to see that it is not about self but for the all.
The daily development offered by the soul is one I would never, ever want to be without.
A belief I’ve held on to for a long time, and am still letting go of – is that anything worth doing is supposed to be hard.. and so that was how I lived my life, in the striving and perfecting, even making simple things complicated to almost prove my point – to prove that what I was doing was somehow worth it! To see that it is possible to live life another way – a way where it’s about people and quality first, and not the drive or push of getting things done, is a gift – and it is amazing to know so many people who are proving that it is possible to live life like this.
Appreciation is fundamental to our healing and our evolution, and yet it is very hard for most people to let this simple essence in
This part really stood out for me – ‘These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me.’ The way you talk about your relationships as beautiful loving connections make it clear how much you value and appreciate them now. I can also feel what a beautiful loving connection you have with yourself.
Reading your blog brought a big smile to my face Nico. How lovely that you no longer feel you have to prove yourself and that your relationships are now so much deeper. I can relate to a lot of what you have shared here and agree that when we have a loving caring relationship with ourselves it ripples out to all other relationships.
I love the emphasis you have here Nico on truly feeling this warmth in your body. This way our physical frame is the greatest thermometer showing us the truth we are choosing everyday. If we don’t feel this warmth then what follows no matter how good it looks is just the junk that gets in Love’s way.
Feeling joy and vital in life is something that has gone array, we settle for snippets of happiness or peace, not feeling full and spacious, open and loving. There is much to take from what you have shared here Nico.
The very concept of true joy and vitality will be not in many people’s lexicon… And yet this is our potential… Everyone of us
When I appreciate and surrender to my essence, it simply grows and gives me a whole new marker to move in.
Nico your words just bought me back to the simplicity of appreciation and acceptance for the essence I am and the qualities I express, There is such a glory in surrendering to knowing there is nothing outside of this we have to attain. From there we can move the body in whatever way is asked as our future is already being presented to choose.
Thank you Nico, the striving to do and be better is such a strong momentum. It is strongly there in education which is a system that focuses on achievement and not the person, and we do our best in families but true appreciation for who are is rarely there either. I find that the drive to do or be more shows me pockets of where I have bought into the idea I’m not enough and can choose to come back to myself, to my essence, and feel how complete that is. It can be quite challenging at times but it’s worth it. Appreciation can totally change our foundation because it supports us to have a true relationship with ourselves and to our qualities (our being) instead of relating to ourselves by what we do (physical actions, achievements, roles etc).
Nico, such a beautiful and inspiring read, you can really feel the gorgeous relationship you have built with yourself and your family. Thank-you for sharing you with us, as we get to feel a truly tender and loving man express.
‘I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.’ So true Nico and staying present in each moment is key as the future will come to us.
Joy for me is in the constant learning about what is and isn’t true. Either way I am confirmed from my body and appreciate what every opportunity is presenting me with.
Nico – deepening my re-connection to what is true and taking more responsibility for my life energetically, I am in awe of our awesome bodies and how they remain so steady in the knowing of what is true and in it’s patience while waiting for us all to choose to look inward and let go of all we have been attached to and that has been driving us. All of Humanity hold this inner wisdom and slowly but sure we all will return to our Divine essence that connects us all in brotherhood.
Hello Nico and while I have commented on this blog before, today I think it’s lovely that you have shared this with your family. I just realised when I read the bottom where it says it is published with their permission that they would’ve had to read it. What a wonderful moment to take in that they can see as you see. We often have blame held towards our past and we hold onto it and yet how is it in the past if you can still recall and feel it now? Meaning if you are holding onto to something that was done way back when then it isn’t in the past at all, it’s in the present and very with you now. At any point as you have done we can let go of the ‘past’ which is actually the present and then live more of you. The weight of carrying what was prevents or holds you back from seeing the what is. Live all you are, no matter what it is in the present and don’t look back to the past or look forward to the future as they are all one and can be dealt with simply by being present.
I feel exactly like this….”I can now see what this growing up brought to me for my adult life. There was always an inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle between what life presented to me to be, and what I could feel inside of me.” How many teenagers rage, rebel and dismiss what has been shown to them, as a they grow up….It is done with a reaction that cannot heal what has past….I know I continued into adulthood with a sadness that lingered, not feeling understood or accepted by the world for who I am. I had not considered fully the power of building a true relationship with myself and honouring the inner feeling that so often did not match the world outside. Now I listen and honour and I am more at ease and more settled in my body, I live with joy.
Thank you this is beautiful Nico.. Sharing from your own experience and not shying away from what it was. I am reminded of one wise man saying before that we can not think that only by closing the doors in the streets for our neighbours we do not feel what is going on behind them.. And that indeed we are truly better of if we are transparent like you are now with us, thank you for your example.
What an extraordinary sharing Nico. If all the fathers of this world connected to their souls in the way you have the world would be a completely different place.
Joy = energetic truth. When I heard this it allowed me to appreciate what true joy is as it is one word that is so often re-interpreted.
I love what you have expressed here Nico, thank you;
“The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more”.
The joy is certainly being true and loving to oneself, which is then taken out into the world.
The striving for perfection is a familiar pattern and becomes a driving force. Understanding that this does put huge pressure on ourselves and everyone causing a lot of inner and outer tension is a great starting place. It’s so true what you share –realising this isn’t living but existing to counter the absences of an inner connection and appreciation is huge. This is a joyful revelation to accept – there is another way to be in life and live to the full without being run by any expectations.
Rereading this blog today brought me to the understanding that the environment we are growing up in does have such a great impact on the rest of our lives, in how we proceed in developing ourselves or not, in choosing a life of numbing or working hard or in choosing to live in the gutters of the streets. In the origin we are all the same, born in the innocence all babies have but then it starts, we are shaped and formed in ways that makes us less than who we were when freshly born. Why have we arranged life like this that we want to make everybody have the same skills and attitudes? Why are we not able to see that in that we actually are smashing the unique beauty that we all had when we where born and the hurt of this we all carry to me is the root cause of many waywardness in our nowadays societies..
When we understand how we can reconnect to ourselves, it seems a no brainer and pretty obvious. But for the majority of my life I didn’t know what this self connection was all about, nor how to do it. Through attending the UniMed presentations, I’ve learned that we’re only ever one breath away from connecting to ourselves and that it’s actually very easy to do. And the added bonus is that it feels awesome!
Appreciation for all we are when we reconnect to our essence and all we naturally are = joy. “I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.” This speaks for all of us thank you Nico,
Hello Nico and this how it was for me, “I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it – but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life.” This still plays out today and when the pressure is on my default isn’t to just “love and appreciate each other for the beautiful people that we are” it’s more likely to be one of critique or dismissiveness under the heading of busy or just how it is at times. I know when I simply appreciate and love then this build my body and gives me a different view of the world. I must admit at times it’s hard to return to this as the default or momentum is the other way. It’s not about necessarily wondering why but more about changing the momentum, so time for more love and appreciation at the first point. Thank you Nico.
Nice one, Ray. I can relate to what you say here. The more we recognise that momentum, to have a natural awareness of it, the more we can catch ourselves and return to “love and appreciate each other for the beautiful people we are”.
Exactly Nick and like anything this momentums seed starts at home so we need to watch our thoughts and by home I mean with us. I won’t say ‘we are too critical of ourselves’ because this in itself is the ‘too critical’ it’s more about being aware as you say of our thoughts and the feeling of our thoughts. I don’t mean sitting with every thought necessarily but more looking first at the lingering ones, the repetitive or reoccurring ones that may play out. I know one for me is similar to ‘don’t say that’. At times when I speak this thought sits in my head but I don’t trust this thought as much as I use to. If I feel to say something then I let or go or say it, with the ever deepening awareness that I am speaking to a person and understanding what comes back is a relationship not a right and wrong conversation.
When we don’t appreciate who we are and what we bring to our families, friends and workplaces, we’re constantly in that place of striving to be better, to prove ourselves to others by what we can do, forgetting that who we are is already enough. Appreciation is the foundation that sets us free of all of that.
This engagement with the world, with everything around me is a boon beyond measure – a result of feeling so much more of myself and wanting to share that, and to share the love. It brings life to everything.
The joy of staying true to what I feel is worth gold.
‘I don’t have to prove myself any more’ – The need to prove ourselves – constantly and in every facet of our lives is very much our undoing. To build a knowing of ourselves, who we are, what we bring, is a key which gives us an opportunity to be fully engaged with life in a way that does not drain us either.
True Lucy, trying to be anything other than us is exhausting, as it is against our natural rhythm. The opposite is true if we are expressing what is naturally us, Love.
I love living with this man who is on his way to fully live that loveliness, sensitivity and tenderness and to share his wisdom more and more, such a joy to be together and live the Way of the Livingness.
This blog spoke to me so profoundly. I really connected with the disconnect from knowing that who we are is incredibly valuable, not simply what we do. I place all my value on what I do and that was my normal yet I valued others for who they were. It has been incredible to deepen the value of my connection to my soul and see how that deepened my appreciate of that quality in others as well.
I can so relate to what you say about the working hard energy, I was took caught up in that as part of my up bringing. My self worth was so low and I did not appreciate myself and what i bring. I too with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have changed my live around and have so much more joy and vitality in my body.
I also had a belief that life was supposed to be hard, now when my life becomes more enjoyable I start to get a little nervous wondering when this will end, there is a deeper level of acceptance and appreciation to go too to recognise that this is actually normal.
I really appreciate hearing this story and seeing how much you enjoy your life now. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
‘I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.’ This is such a key point, connecting to and living from our essence enables us to live free of the constraints we constantly feel we need to live up to when all we need is to come from our essence.
We grow up and are educated in ways of understandings of what life is all about, how it has to be and what it is not. Unfortunately, we tend to overload the what is not column with a lot of stuff that does not belong in there (e.g., joy).
“but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life.” There needs to be appreciation of ourselves and others on a regular basis or stagnation sets in and there cannot be a movement forward.
Awesome Nico – this we need more of so that we can rekindle that feeling of being a true family again.
Vitality is our natural born right – http://theworksofsergebenhayon.com/the-healing-renaissance-serge-benhayon-and-the-fact-of-fire/
What I found lately was that through the way I was living I have become very serious in many aspects of my life and that I lost that playfulness I know to have as a child. When honestly looked at this I can now say this is a sad way of living as I now know that there is so much more to life and that being serious was only a way to protect myself from being hurt but and at the same time was keeping myself away from living that grander me in full.
“The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more”. The joy of just being ‘me’ is very precious indeed Nico; slowly I am learning to be more of me more of the time. A beautiful reminder thank you.
” just by being me” Nico it’s been quite a journey to understand what that means and how it can change your life. Like us all I thought I was being me as I could identify with so many things I did, but always felt a deep sadness that I couldn’t put my finger on. Now I am ‘ just being me’ and I have met myself and it’s a joy to live with this connection.
We are born into situations and relationships that we need to heal. So it is an enormous blessing to have this great opportunity, accompanied by the wisdom and support of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, the eternal Way of the Livingness.
I reflect on my childhood and I can feel that I was in contact with my essence…”I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.” I know that for sure, with all my body, because I am reconnecting with that feeling, now as a an adult. I held wisdom, I felt truth and love as child, I numbed it and now I am returning to honouring what I feel.
And yes commitment to being honest is the first step to truly understanding the part we play in every interaction and everything that happens in our lives.
For sure Annie, we are in control of our lives, whether we are conscious aware of that fact or not. Life always reflects back to us how we relate to life, how much we are able to show of who we naturally are as if we were a child or not. That is fully up to each and everybody of us and that is important to understand and to recognise because when we start to live this way life becomes a continuous learning, which to me brings back the joy back I had as a child.
when we start to rekindle the connection with our Soul, we start to take back the steering wheel of our lives, instead of living in the illusion / delusion that we are running the show but in fact are being manipulated every step of the way.
Accepting the part that we play in our upbringing is a big one. It certainly was for me, and if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon’s presentations I would have continued to blame the outside world for the way my life was turning out. Having realised that everything in my life was a reflection of me, I felt empowered because then it was up to me, and only me, to initiate changes that would not only change the direction of my life but would have a profound affect on those around me.
I relate to your experience of life formerly being a ‘doing’ and a ‘getting on with’ for this was mirrored to me from all angles. I too have come to see that life is empty of Love, purpose and meaning when we are without connection to ourselves and to others. Connection and Love is a joy that is natural to us and a right we all have to Live.
“These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me” this was beautiful to read, We often don’t appreciate everything we already have and doing this would make life so much more enjoyable!
To appreciate and celebrate the changes we make is the inspiration for the next step. That is my experience. Thank you for sharing, Nico.
When I was 16 I had the image that life ends with 30, ie. you would need to live everything of worth until then otherwise it would be too late and only the routine of being like ‘those adults’ would be left with parenting, work, all the mundane stuff… Today with 50 I know life never stops unfolding, every moment there is a chance for evolution, expansion, more of what really counts, the inner quality and presence, the expression of that inner with people, the mutual inspiration. Before Universal Medicine I didn´t experience life the same way although I had the chance to get to know various lifestyles, philosophies, cultures, teachings, religions etc, but it is in connection to one´s innermost, the esoteric, that makes life rich, meaning- and purposeful and Serge Benhayon simply by sharing his way of living, the wisdom from within allowed me to recognise the same source inside me to impulse the life I am living today.
It feels amazing when we begin to appreciate that all the wisdom we will ever need is there, waiting for us to reach within and connect. When I only connected to the outside for inspiration I was looking with my eyes and not my heart. Now that I am letting my heart lead the way there is a foundation of trust gradually building deep down within.
Every little ounce of appreciation we give to ourselves we are equally giving to others, because of the reflection this offers.
How is it that we as humanity do not equally enjoy what you have shared in the first two paragraphs, that for the most part life seems to be a struggle.. and then when we do get this reflection of joy, love and of truth, we can feel uncomfortable in it. I am learning there is comfort in misery and hardship as we prefer this to the choice of stepping into our greater responsibility and power that we all naturally carry within – and as I unfold this greater commitment to myself and to everyone the joy naturally follows.
What you have written here Nico is so beautiful to read, I love how you appreciate your own essence and quality and thus what you bring to humanity;
“I am, without perfection, on the way to fully living that lovely, sensitive, tender and wise man I naturally am. I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity”.
The joy and vitality I experience is when I am living true to me and claiming myself. If I let this drop then my joy and vitality disappears.
This is beautiful Nico, “I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.”
It was not until I attended the courses presented by Universal Medicine that I realized how out of touch I was with myself, despite decades of ‘inner seeking’ and courses and meditation, and for this inner connection that is being re-forged now I am eternally grateful.
I remember one day when I was in my 30’s when I had just finished sharing with someone how challenging my life was, and their reply ‘I don’t know what you’re worried about, you know how to survive’ stopped me in my tracks. I remember looking at them and saying from somewhere deep and knowing within me: “Yes I know how to survive; I just want to learn how to live”. Well it has taken many years and the loving and wise support from Serge Benhayon, but now in my 60’s I finally know what it is to truly live a life filled with love, joy and vitality; as we both have come to learn Nico, it is never too late to change.
‘I always came from this same lack of self-worth, constantly striving to do it better’ – is there such thing as ‘better’ when each and every one of us brings something different, unique and powerful to what we do, and even this quality comes from how we live and hold ourselves rather than our physical activities.
I can now see so clearly that working hard does not brings me anywhere and in fact held me from being that joyful, tender and delicate man. Imagine if we all would come to this understanding, how different would our world look like? I now have changed the way I work, from working hard into bringing myself in everything that I do, and while still doing the same work, the quality that is delivered through my work has completely changed. I experience it as a beholding quality that is delivered, a quality that beholds all the people that receive the end product and even bigger. The ripple effect of bringing this loving quality in all that I do may be beyond your imagination but to me this love adds to the building of love on earth, in restoring a way of living that is respectful to who we truly are.
It is amazing to hear a man speak like this, to refer to themselves as joyful, tender and delicate; it is inspiring beyond words – thank you, Nico.
A joy that is not dependant on any thing, person, task or result; but alive by virtue of the way we live is worth more than anything we seemingly sell ourselves as a ‘good time’ or ‘life’.
Thank you for being the deeply tender sensitive man you are Nico, it inspires others to also honour there delicateness and tenderness. My life too has completely changed since attending Serge Benhayon’s presentations, I now have so much more vitality, more love for myself and others and deeper richer understanding of life.
It beautiful to hear a man talking about love in the way you have in this blog, there is a deep appreciation in your written word for the joy that you now live. I am also someone who’s life has changed immensely since meeting Serge Benhayon. You and I are not alone in experiencing the benefits that Universal Medicine offer. The importance of documenting this appreciation is key, as it feds us back vitality and creates a foundation for everything else to stand on.
So beautifully said Nico “This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.” That is the key, it never goes away, we think that it does, but it always at RE-connecting, not trying to connect to something that isn’t there, as you say, it is always there.
Beautiful to see you not judge yourself or family for the past as the awareness was not what it is today. Thank you Nico
I agree Nic, I have always worked hard in my life and in truth never worked harder than I recently have been but by living the principles of the Ageless wisdom, I seem to do this with more vitality and consistency than ever before
Valuing our own qualities allows us to reconnect to the fullness of who we are, so we no longer have to live life in a “fight or flight” mode but surrender to the flow of the Universe.
Nico you bring a beautiful reflection to us all between the difference of living from a joyful body versus seeking happy moments in our lives. Having felt the fullness of living joy and the emptiness of seeking another happy moment I now know what is true.
The first paragraph of your wonderful blog Nico, really sums up for me the type of life that everyone on this planet is searching for in life and missing deeply. And because they are missing it so deeply they are filling it with lots of other things to compensate. And how many people can honestly declare that they truly have the quality of life that you have declared you have? So there must be something to the Way of the Livingness that actually might just deliver what we all want. The famous line of ‘I’ll have what they’re having’ springs to mind!
Great to read this again this morning and see how I am still trying to do the best thing, to get it right when just being true to me is enough. .
Nico, thank you for this gorgeous blog, which reminds me to fully appreciate myself and what I can bring just by being me. Time let go of the remnant ideals that nibble away at my self-confidence and appreciation of all I bring to life.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that ‘you have to do your best to make it work.'” Gosh, this line could describe the cornerstone of so many families but what you share is that when we live like that it can lack true connection, intimacy and joy. I love that you have explored this and are bringing more tenderness, joy, connection to you and your family.
The ‘hard work ethic’ might seem to be ‘good’ but it is an ideal that runs us which means that we are being driven by an energy much like being a passenger in a car where the driver is going too fast and only just stops if he has to at the last minute – it’s very hard on the nervous system. When we are run by such ideals we are not able to be ourselves. The ‘good parent’ or ‘diligent student’ plays a role because they think that this is how we need to live and so many of us are living our lives on automatic because we do not know any different. Serge Benhayon presents to people that there is another more harmonious way to live which we all know within but have forgotten, and by
being reminded of it we can return to being ourselves in whatever we do. When we do that we live from a true impulse within and bring a quality to whatever we do knowing the true purpose of what we are doing.
Then we are not a ‘good parent’ or ‘diligent student’ but a person who is a loving parent or a committed student and we can work hard enjoying it to the full because we are bringing all of us to what we do not being pushed by a need for recognition or success.
Nico it is so important that we appreciate where we are. Your life now is very different than before – and to know that is because of your choices and your commitment to evolution is to be celebrated. It is an appreciation that does not stand still and compare, but in a way where there is appreciation with each movement, each choice, each expression where you can acknowledge that you are committed to an amazing way of living.
Lovely to read today, as I’m being reflected and area where I have judgement, and it’s not self loving as I obviously judge myself in the same way. A moment to stop and appreciate its not supporting me to express the Love that I am and it stops true connection.
When I am deeply connected with my inner fire, I feel joy unconditionally. It is right here, felt in my body, and there’s no need to improve my life or wait for something to happen to meet my expectation or complete a picture of ideal. It is the true foundation I can choose to live my life from.
All the beautiful changes you have shared here Nico and thank you for doing so, so the world can see how amazing life can be when we begin living connection with ourselves, and with this deepening of connection, life continues to unfold back to our state of being natural. Life is truly nothing like we think it is.
Oh my God, I love this blog, I have never felt until know that is, that trying to make every tiny detail perfect was actually from a lack of self worth and a form of control. When in fact there is so much to value and appreciate about myself and life as a whole. Perfectionism stops me from connecting to God.
I go in and out of feeling joyful in life. When I am fully connected to myself and feel good about the choices I have made I feel absolutely amazing. When I am disconnected or distracted and this has led to choices that do not support me I feel the lack of joy. It is so worth taking the time to remain connected and present with ourselves. Joy is naturally there if we allow it.
It is interesting how we can feel there is a gap in our lives between what we feel and what we see and the two don’t usually correspond and your blog has helped me understand the need I always used to have to think that if I worked hard this would be enough, so always pushing myself to be more instead of stopping and seeing that I was enough and no amount of working hard or trying to be more would fill that gap that I felt.
Nico it is great what you share, as I have been caught in the same pattern of doing well and chasing my own tail. But as you say its all within us, waiting for us to connect too, we do not need to look outside, just within. It is beautiful when we connect to our soul, as the soul is there constantly supporting us and any self worth issues just start to disappear.
I have learnt so much from your sharing and wisdom that you have presented Nico and I fully appreciate what you and others have given to this topic. Being open in so many areas of my life that I now bring a humble presence to all that I do, has been life changing in the most loving tender way!
Nico, it is so very lovely to feel how joyful your life now is and it shows how we can make a complete turnaround within our lives and truly live instead of just existing.
I really enjoy re reading this Nico, your innocence shines through – the innocence that comes from connection and living with your essence.
Your joy of expression and appreciation of yourself and your lovely wife and family is gorgeous to read Nico. It shows how there is true tenderness there within all men. What a re-imprinting from what you previously thought, it is an incredible journey you share here of what is possible.
Nico, when I was a young woman I was disillusioned about how men felt about love and decided that men were not as into love as women were. One of the many things I love about the work of and the people I meet through Universal Medicine is seeing the men and their tender sweet side and the love they speak of of their partners. It has restored my view that love is equally within us all and equally for us all. And this blog is another part of the restoration – thank you. It was gorgeous to read of your sweet love for your wife and family.
Nico this is so beautiful to read and feel the joy of reconnection to your self and living who you are .The appreciation and love felt from this and so different to how we are usually brought up in the world and the reflection we all need to see there is another way to live also. The simplicity and dedication to ourselves bringing and being all we are is in stark contrast to looking out side of ourselves checking out and indulging in distraction. The gift from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in supporting us all is amazing and the opportunities we are offered for humanity is greater than can every be imagined.
Loving and appreciating one another does seem to be missing from most of our lives, that is not to say there is not love there but from my experience it is not very often expressed and that lack of expressing it makes it something that then feels awkward and clunky to say. We all know how lovely it feels to be appreciated and how it lifts us up into a greater level of appreciation of ourselves, life and all around us.
The effort involved in ‘trying’ is astronomical,and which I have experienced also at great cost. Continually striving aged and wearied me more than anything. Coming to a place where we value and appreciate ourselves naturally brings that to our life and others. It is rich. Thanks must go to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who have been instrumental in the turn around of so many peoples’ lives, including mine, in this regard.
What stood out for me when I read your excellent blog again Nico was this “These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me.” Isnt it extraordinary, in our insecurity, we only see and experience a limited life. Like looking through the wrong end of the binoculars. You have turned that around and its like you are now on the right end of the Hubble telescope instead.
“I cannot remember ever being as joyful in my life as I feel now. Living in a vital body, having amazing, deeply loving relationships with my wife, my family, and friends and enjoying my work throughout the day to the best of my ability in full conscious presence.” This is a great statement but the stark reality is that very few people can make such a claim. Most of the world is living in some form of stress and dysfunction, with very little vitality. It is time for us all to look at the way we are living that brings so much illness and disease.
I can relate with having lived in the past with always trying to be better in all I do, quite exhausting ‘Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” ‘ I am now building appreciation into all areas of my life.
Recognizing what we already have within us and not searching outside of ourselves for the love and joy of life that brings us that vitality you speak of Nico.
You raise such an important issue here Nico of continually pushing ourselves to be better often at the expense of our own bodies and relationships, rather than knowing that bringing all of us to what we do is what is needed and more than enough.
The line in this article about not having to prove yourself anymore is so powerful. I know that I debilitated and exhausted myself trying to earn and prove my worth to the outside world. It is amazing now to live without this… to be free of the constant ‘not enough’ critical chat that used to pollute my days. Thank you, Nico, for talking about this.
The reconnection and joy you share here is beautiful to feel and deeply inspiring Nico. Thank you for your honesty, expression and love.
It’s like we only live one way, not realising there is a parallel life to be chosen at any time, and that life is loving, vital and so joyfull. For me now, I ask myself ‘ If it’s not Love why choose it.’
The connection you talk about here others us the feeling we all seek it is key to a loving life a life of sharing and expressing all of who we truly are.
In my life I have gone into so much justification for my choices, it has been exhausting but also it has made me small, “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, …” The choice to prove why, has resulted in me feel depleted and not empowered or authoritative in who I am. However, as described reconnecting to the inner light that resides within all of us, has allowed me to let go of this behaviour, I now feel more said and steady in my choices without the need to explain of justify them. If it creeps back in I am more aware of it.
Thank you Nico, wonderful news , that joy and vitality is within and that it can be lived. And best part – it is our connection that makes us alive, bright and vital. So no outside clues are needed or truly to be working. It is by this blog that shows us that vitality comes from within, and not so necessarily by food.
Often I don’t appreciate the vitality I have in my life, all thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon inspiring me to change the way I life to be in far more sync with myself which is in turn far less exhausting.
To live with Joy and vitality is our natural way and any amount of ‘trying’ really takes us further away from us, and is a strain on the body also. This is beautiful Nico, “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so.”
Hear hear.
Everyone feels the tension of not being connected to their essence – we all feel it, and it is what drives our behaviour, habits and addictions. If we are naturally joyful and loving, then living anything less than this will be that tension and we use any number of substances, distractions – props – to dull or numb that tension.
Attention to detail for perfection has a completely different energy to applying detail with Love. I love attending to detail and feeling the amazing ripple effect it has on all.
The Joy of living in surrender to the natural flow and harmony with our body is precious beyond words, exquisite and divine.
Beautiful expressed. That is exactly what I am practicing and experiencing these days. Sometimes it feels like the world upside down. But that is the ‘old pattern’ how Nico described it clearly of being brought up functional and to fulfill a role. Surrender comes with an intimacy, in fact an intimacy with life itself.
That nagging feeling, that quiet voice that there is more to life than this is so very valuable.
It is very common to try to over achieve at work to get recognition for what we do and to show others that we are worth it, but getting the recognition from outside ourselves is only momentary and within minutes there follows a sense of loss after all the adulation dies down – it’s as though you get to a peak and then have to start all over again. What you have described here Nico is the complete opposite and a way of living which takes the pressure of achieving out of the picture.
‘These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me’. Very true Nico, when we feel insecure it’s impossible to appreciate what we have and is the reason why developing a deeply loving relationship with ourselves is so important, for all of us.
Learning to be who we are naturally without all the imposed belief systems we took on over the years, is a really worthwhile thing to do. We can learn to be love and joy at any stage of our lives. It is never too late. Shaking of the constraints we put on ourselves makes us light and joyful.
Understanding the truth of life , that we are Souls and our connection to the Soul is what brings us to Love. To Live with this knowledge as shared by Serge Benhayon brings us the vitality and joy of Life.
Living with the soul and impulsed by the soul is really the only way to live with vitality!
When nothing and no one seems to reflect that anything could be fundamentally different, it is understandable that so many people have become resigned to keep living the same quality of life year in year out, although they may not be that satisfied deep down. Serge Benhayon has been a blessing not only through the depth of wisdom and steadiness of love with which he lives his life, which offers an inspiration and knowing that this is possible for each one of us, but also through his endless dedication and support for each person to deepen their own relationship with Soul, power, love of people and responsibility.
The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon has changed my life and it has also made a difference to every aspect of the way I live. One thing that brings ‘me to me’ is how simple life can be when I am working on being connected by looking at any issue or belief that stops me from feeling that joy-full vitality.
You describe such a familiar way of upbringing and the resulting way of living Nico, and it feels dead, dense, and tense, so full of effort. The effort is to be something else or someone else and try to keep control. The beauty of connecting with our inner heart and soul and knowing who we really are and that it is enough, lights us up, brings a playfulness, opens and expands us, and transforms every part of our lives, most important of all, our relationships. The Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon is here, now, today for everyone to connect with, and shows us the way to choose that transformation. The more of our human family who connect with this and take responsibility for their choices, the greater joy will be ours, and the unique expression of every one will contribute to the whole. Then the familiar way will be the joy, not the old effortful stuff.
It is that feeling of our inner worth that we miss so. We can kid ourselves that we are making it in the outer world so easily as others around us applaud us for our work or whatever we have invested ourselves in. We can even feel temporarily good from this but the feelings do not go deep and do not last. It is great to hear how your relationship with yourself has unfolded as you have put more focus on your inner life, how you have connected to your essence and choose now to live from the love and truth of that place powerfully bringing joy and vitality to your life.
Its so beautiful to feel how you have built joy in your life and body, Nico, how you are surrendering to your soul and letting yourself being impulsed by her.
Being willing to express that you are unreservedly joyful, without a major success in life needed, is something not often experienced, and yet it is available to us all.
By strengthening that inner connection with the joy that resides within every time I wander off from this naturalness becomes so obvious to be not me, while in the past this was my normal way of living.
There were two points that stood out for me in your blog Nico, that of the appreciation you now have for yourself and the surrendering you choose to be who you truly are. These are key as without them both we are left in an unappreciative life, one where we don’t really value our quality and the essence we bring to the world and without a surrender to the depth of quality that we are we don’t connect to the timeless sense of beauty and space that is there to be felt, lived and then expressed in all that we do.
You have busted the big wellbeing myth here Nico. That joy and vitality come from being connected to yourself and not from some external source, like prescribed exercise and food, or another person filling you up presents a while new slant on wellness.
It is so unusual to hear someone talking about the joy and vitality of life. The way most people feel today in their day to day lives is far from this. There is definitely something worth taking notice of here.
The joy and vitality of living life starts with feeling worth to be treated respectfully. It’s an offering to myself and, naturally unfolding from there, claiming to be treated in the same way by others. Moving on from there into the realms of love.
I was speaking the other day to a colleague about how the way i work in recruitment having completely changed and that my relationship-building with people/candidates was absent of the quality and depth that i enjoy today…and that yes, it’s always been the case of me wanting and enjoying getting to know a person/candidate, but rather to ‘know them for a result’ [to make a deal], and not for who they are … which is the case and difference today. When the latter is connected to, it makes my/a job feel enriched, the former perfunctory, which, i could say was the exact mirror of my life back then. Our relationship with ourselves is the relationship with another.
‘We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”’ This ideal is huge in society, that life needs to be hard to be worthwhile and to mean something. It is the most freeing feeling to realise this does not have to the way and that enjoying life is possible. By making self loving choices and allowing life to be simple and joyful.
You can feel your vitality and love of life reading these words Nico – refreshing.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.” I can so relate to this. It was our family way also. I have made life and situations so much harder than they needed to be as a result of this belief system. There is so much more to life than just surviving it.
The more I surrender the more I can feel how much everything is already taken care of. Control places a wall up and leaves us in the illusion that the love and true support is not there.
I am learning it is not about the fight it is just saying yes that what we already have within and taking the handbrakes off.
My life “was completely different before I met Serge and listened to the Ancient Wisdom he presents”. I wonder how many people can say this? Hundreds? Thousands? I know I am one. And what joy that has brought to my life.
This very common need to prove ourselves as men, women, human beings is not a natural urge. This may seem obvious to the average reader of this blog site, but to so many people where the ideal gets expressed in conversation in one shape or form, it is clearly a fundamentally held belief, that what makes us who we are is our strivings. Unfortunately it is clear we are not in such a great place, us human beings. So really it is worth reconsidering just how harming this need to prove ourselves truly is and what if it is fundamental to our way of life, but not to who we are and to how life can be?
I love how we have everything we need within us and it just takes one simple choice to connect to that fire and we can ignite the world.
Yes, and with deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for teaching the simplicity of that reconnection.
Yes Carmin I couldn’t agree more. The wisdom and healing shared by Serge Benhayon and the many practitioners at Universal Medicine offer many practical tools that can allow us to make choices for a more loving way to be, which is pretty awesome.
We all already are everything we always and ever wanted!
Nico, this is certainly the most perfect blog for me to read this morning. Sometimes even when we know and have felt this deep connection within, we get distracted and forget and fall back into old patterns of putting the things we need to do first over and above the people around us. And then the moment we realise we have done this, we get to feel how empty and disconnected everything feels and how we have essentially lost a part of ourselves. But to have this realisation is a blessing, and then to know we can make different choices from there on is in itself a healing. The choice lies in our hands and in our hearts to make the very change that we ache for.
A life lived in lack of self-worth brings a life of controlling and holding on, when all that’s needed is a surrender to everything we already are and everything we already have. This of course requires a leap of faith, but it never lets you down once you’ve taken it. The leap feels canyonesque at the time but the rewards are even more huge. You just have to keep leaping – and it’s the choice to do this or not that underpins our daily experience of life.
The struggle of hard work and function completely releases when we discover there can be joy in everything we do – it is all in there in the love, connection and commitment we have to life, in every movement.
Your experience Nico, proves that there is no need to prove or improve ourselves, it is just our connection to the love within that is the key to living a life full of joy and vitality. Thank-you Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for reflecting the true way of being, and that it is available to all, because we ARE the All.
I thought I had real intimacy in my relationships, I hugged, cried, talked about how I felt with many people…I am realising that some of that was still guarded, protected and in a sense an arrangement with others, to not uncover the real issues that where there and not appreciate the real strengths and qualities we already have. I was not as open as I thought I was, and not as close to people as I thought I was. I do not berate myself, it is an observation, and a deeply healing one to be aware of. I have been able to be more intimate with other people, as I have developed this open relationship with myself, I can feel surrender, to know that I am enough. This makes it simple to know that we all are enough, and I am open in sharing and appreciating that with others.
I have never felt as good as I do too Nico, and thats even while I work full time, renovate outside of my working hours, run a second business, be a mum etc etc. Never in my life have I done so much, yet felt so good and had more than enough energy to do everything. It really is because of how I live and this has all been inspired by Serge Benhayon. I feed my body (most of the time) good healthy food, (I am not perfect!) and I go to bed when I am tired, and I am more aware than ever before.
Absolutely Rosie, my life has also turned around where I do more than ever before, sleep less and yet am more vital. Yes, I have a lot to learn but for most things in my life since meeting Serge Benhayon, I am looking within, which is my inner-most or soul, so I bring all of me to the best of my ability to what I do. This brings my essence into my life so that I no longer waste time and energy.
It is essential to claim our own essence of who we are in full to live life joyfully and vital in every moment. While it’s an unfolding experience the shifts along the way are incredible, insightful and feel like miracles. Yet I’m discovering constantly that there is more – an invitation for a deepening commitment to a connection that offers expansion to love beyond any realm the mind can create.
I too grew up in a family with very little intimacy, it was very much a case of the children being seen and not heard, so I grew up not being good at being intimate and relaxed with other people. My parents did not mix very much socially, it was confined to other members of the family who would come together from time to time for a celebration, or a special visit occasionally. It was a good family, but one that tended to keep very much to itself. It was all that I knew, and probably all that they had known in their own upbringing, and was a period where one had to be seen to be living a ‘good’ responsible life. But I was left with very little self confidence. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon and attended Universal Medicine presentations that I came to realise such a different, but very beautiful way to be living, and it has really turned my life around over the past 10 years. I mix so much more socially now, have met so many gorgeous people from all walks of life, but the equality that is felt among these people is enormous and I have so many friends now. I have much to thank Serge Benhayon for here in opening my eyes and body to a completely way to be living.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”” I can relate to that Nico, that was what I always regarded as ‘normal’ also., and I would guess that most people of my generation and probably the more recent generations would have agreed with. I remember a certain Prime Minister of Australia who was well known for his remark, something like “life was not meant to be easy”. But I too, since I met Serge Benhayon and have begun to live The Way of The Livingness, have come to see and understand that there is a completely different way to live life, starting with learning to connect to myself deeply and live from that great love that is inside us all. I am slowly learning to live my life in a much more flowing way, with less of the trying, hard work etc, working far more hours than ever before, but the way that I live my life has become far less stressful and I give myself time to honour what I am feeling in any moment, nurturing myself and my body as feels to be needed. To me, this way of life is not hard, it is actually far more simple, but does depend on my choices from moment to moment which is my responsibility. Responsibility is key to the success of this way of life.
Can I add appreciation here too, Beverley? Absolutely yes to responsibility (which I now embrace and appreciate rather than consider burdensome) alongside appreciating my willingness to learn, the opportunities in life and the support of others.
I also remember that ‘life was not meant to be easy’ was a saying. My life now is far more simple than I could have ever expected. I now find it easier to connect to my inner-most or soul and all else can unfold from that place of warmth that resides from within that connection.
Once we connect to the love that is inside us and in all of life and bring this into everything we do it’s actually hard to consider life without it. It’s actually quite crazy that we grow up being encouraged to make life about what we do and whether we ‘so called ‘succeed’ or not’. True success is living with love in our way, our movements and our being and growing this every day.
It is so easy to slip into the standard roles that we are offered in life and in doing so step away from what waits so patiently for us
Reading this blog it really struck me how we choose to live functional lives when deep within us we all know that there is something missing. Thank heavens for Serge Benhayon who had the courage and love to step outside the norm so that we could know there is another way to live that is full of love, joy, and truth.
Reconnecting to the inner fire to ourselves deeply and the steady consistency of this really is beautiful and allows the joy, vitality and who we really are to be felt and lived in our everyday life and this is available to us all as you share so beautifully Nico thank you.
Surrender to our inner knowing thanks for sharing this Nico, it’s something I needed to hear today, so rather than pushing and seeing what we think we need to do, it’s about letting go and sinking back into us, connecting more deeply within.
Thank you Nico for sharing your very beautiful story, that is the trap of looking outside ourselves that whatever we do or how hard we try on our treadmill of life it is never enough and how could it be because all that is not it. Connection to the being of us is all that is needed for it brings all the love that we have been searching for.
A gorgeous reflection on the beautiful man yon are Nico
‘Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” It was never enough and I was still insecure about any decision I made.’ An important point Nico , we are always being the eight ball when we are ‘trying to be better’.
Nico, one of my favourite blogs! And yes, it’s so true, the “constantly striving to do it better” is something I’m realising and that its because I’m not already appreciating just how much I do bring by just being me. Thankyou for the clarity your words have brought me – appreciated 😉
This reconnection you write about is what the whole world is crying out for but resisting and we all know that what is considered normal now is not it and we all have so much love to share with each other and are longing to get away from the self centred living most of us are in, instead of the self-loving way we deeply require.
That sense of something is not right, not true, many of us experience, the internal struggle with how we are living, and yet we strive to get better and better or we take it to totally trashing ourselves in different ways. to stop this internal disharmony. Many of us know this is not it,i just didn’t know how to live it, until like you, it was shown by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all the other students who have also began to reconnect back to who they are, the love within. When we begin to live like this, the need for security is no longer needed. Our connection becomes our ‘security’ which is not security anymore, but a supportive loving knowing that we will be taken care of within and knowing and to respond to the outside world.
Yes, it is quite something, after having the “There is more to life than this” voice for decades to find out just exactly how much more there is. It is quite wonderful.
So true Christoph, I carried that ‘there must be more to life’ or ‘there must be an easier way to earn money than this’ etc., for years. I didn’t understand that it was the way I went about work that was killing me and that the quality I was in was what determined whether I enjoyed myself or not. Feeling this and how much more there is to life has completely changed everything.
This is one of the most beautiful reflections I have read. What a gorgeous man you are Nico.
Love your sharing Nico. I can related to a lot of what you shared. I spend most of my life proving (mostly to myself) that I was worth something. There was always something else that I was doing and the next thing was going to be IT. I had never considered prior to Universal Medicine that everything I needed was within and that there was actually no need to search for IT. The very beautiful teachings that I have applied to my own life have supported me to not only know who I am but to live me, to the best of my ability. I never knew that living me was so enjoyable, but it so is…
Nico, it is lovely to hear that you are reconnecting to the lovely, sensitive and tender man that you truly are. This is a great reflection to all men out there who are playing the roles set by the ideals and beliefs that they have grown up with, and that it is okay to be sweet and gentle, and in fact, this is what women find very alluring, a man who is true to himself and not afraid to show his feelings and allow his tenderness to be seen.
When we allow boys to stay themselves, to grow up holding on to their naturally tender delicate and sensitive self we will be creating a community that holds such love and connection- but if out of fear for their survival we try to bring up boys to be tough and hard then we are merely perpetuating that same kind of community that we now in fear and trepidation of.
I also agree, I have never lived in such a vital, joyful way, it is being a new normal. It not perfection, but consistently I get up and enjoy my day and love connecting with people. And this is why for me also “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul,” I have come home to a re-knowing of my inner connection, with all.
So very true Nico and Samantha, life for me has also never been so full of life. The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon is a game changer and all we have to do is re-connect, which is to be in yoga or union with our soul.
Thanks, Nico. I too am beginning to feel more comfortable in my own skin, just being me and feeling it’s ok no matter what situation I am in, because the connection to my body and what I feel inside is more consistent than ever before.
This connection with my body is something that I’m re-learning to feel, after a very long time of living completely in my head. But in my head I was always at the mercy of whatever was going on around me, and never truly feeling steady. When I live from the body, there’s an inner knowing of what to do, where no thinking my way through things is needed. Life flows with simplicity.
Just yesterday I was spending time with my family, after we had spontaneously raced each other to the car, giggling and full of love and joy after an amazing and busy day, I felt to full of appreciation and joy for the amazing life that I live.
So many of us grow up believing that we don’t have a choice as to how we can live our lives, that we get what we are given and we just have to make the most of it. It is very enlightening to realise that we do indeed have a choice, we are in fact making choices every second of the day, and the quality of these choices is determined by the quality of the connection we have with ourselves. Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon I too have discovered that more we develop a loving relationship with ourselves, with our fiery essence within, the more we are guided to make choices that support us to live in a way that is more honoring, loving and joyful with a vitality that naturally shines, which is a way of living that is in truth available to us all.
Very inspiring Nico. It’s interesting what you shared about your career and behaviour at work, and I agree that it’s possible for perfectionism and asking lots of questions about how we should do things to get them ‘right’ can actually come from a place of lack of self worth and anxiety. It’s great to ask in the moments when we feel everything HAS to be right why we don’t feel content with simply applying all of our amazing skills and creativity to that project or task?
Knowing you Nico and witnessing the changes in you over the years has been a great joy and inspiration because you are “without perfection, on the way to fully living that lovely, sensitive, tender and wise man” you are. I feel blessed to say that you are my friend.
Work is an area where we can try so hard but never feel good enough. You describe it well Nico – ‘Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work.’ I suspect many of us can relate to what you say here. Now that I have started to appreciate what I bring to work, I don’t give myself such a hard time. This means not working late every night, and making self-care my priority so that I am actually more efficient and effective at work.
I so relate to what you say here: “My voicing this is not to blame my parents or my brothers as it was what it was and it was a situation I equally was part of and contributed to. Nobody in our family had ever been told that life could be different and nowhere in our circle of acquaintances did we know people who lived this sort of joyful and appreciative life. We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”” This is so true and the same in my family too, how I grew up as well. I have also been able to let go of blame or needing a story to explain the whys and wherefores, and the freedom I can feel within, the lightness is just lovely. The knock on effect is that my relationship with all my family members has improved dramatically without ever a single word being uttered about the past.
This is so lovely Nico – “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so.” I can feel all of what you express here in your sharing,just beautiful.
Nico, so,lovely to feel your appreciation for your family and friends. It is so seldom that I feel true appreciation coming from a man towards his wife or children, there is sometimes being proud of them or recognition but not true appreciation.
I too can genuinely say that ‘Thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, the Universal Medicine Student Body’ I am also on my way to fully living that lovely, sensitive, tender and wise woman I naturally am. Through the presentations, teachings and living examples right in front of me I have seen that there is another way to live life. I have experienced massive changes within myself and the change continues to deepen as I go.
The more I appreciate that there is nothing that I have to prove and that I am more than enough, I feel the lifting of the burden of having to be someone that I am not.
So true growing up there was never a reflection of how life could be truly joyfully and lived , so even though I knew the way I was living could not be it, there was no one to turn to who was living The Way until I met Serge Benhayon. My whole body said Yes, at last, a true role model who was reflecting back to all of humanity The Way.
Thank you Nico. What a lovely story and beautiful reflection you offer to all that there is another way. A simple way to live a life of true connection and a life of purpose.
Reading your blog again Nico I am reminded just how important it is that we stay true to ourselves and express that truth to everyone we meet. For as you say if you had not received the reflection or example from someone else you would never have known that there was another way to live which was far more joyful and light and easy than the daily grind and struggle that most of us find ourselves in at some time or another.
For many years I just thought I was an unhappy person. No matter how many personal development courses I did, the picture of myself pervaded my life. I now know joy, thanks to Universal Medicine. What could be more precious than that!
I know how joyful I can feel when I stay with myself. When I get distracted and my mind is elsewhere I feel kind of lost and miserable. Staying present really is the key to feeling content within myself.
The disease of wanting to better ourselves is cast over mankind like a plague. It shadows our lightness and dulls our true senses. Don’t we all know that we are already everything that we need to be?
You can call it plague indeed Felix. It is the individual life we choose for, which to me is the ultimate illusion we live in when we live disconnected from that grander whole we are inescapably part of and in that individuality there is no other way than to prove ourselves again and again that we are worth and to make our existence of any value, forgetting that in the wake of our striving to better ourselves we leave a trail of havoc and disaster.
Profound truth and wisdom delivered here, Nico. My body has filled with warmth reading your words.
“I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so”.
Joy and vitality are scarce commodities in a world that seems to have become rather grey and listless for many. Few seem to realise that it is our hand that is on the dial of life, we can either choose to turn it to grey and washed out or vibrant and energized. Where the dial rests is simply a reflection of all of our choices. Having said that there is one solitary choice that has the power alone to turn the dial to ‘constantly unbelievably incredible’ and that is the choice to live the real you in every single moment of every single day.
Nico this is so inspiring and beautiful to read and an amazing journey ” I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so. This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.” So
Wonderful.
A comment like this Nico, ‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more. ‘ used to be just words to me. I wouldn’t have felt I knew what you were talking about, because my mind was so active, I had lost this connection to feeling me and would dismiss this because it was not my experience. And then gradually, by staying open, and starting to notice my feelings more, it started to make some sense, and the more we expand, the deeper it goes. I still feel there’s a way to go to deepen my foundation, and the more I let go of function, the more it flows.
Your first paragraph is a showstopper Nico. I hardly hear anyone talking about life in this way. We settle and accept that life is just the way it is, but there is another way. It’s inspiring to hear how you have reconnected to this joyful way of living. Something that we all have access to.
I love the way you say, ‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore.’ This is one of the most freeing feelings there must be.
Walking in life in frowning mode, in the name of reality, is something fairly common. It is interesting how it reproduces over generations without us even realising it and without even fathoming that there is a different way to be with each other. We tend to do so much caught by this way!! Most of people walks in this way. ‘It is normal’. This fact makes it even harder to depart from it. Leaving it behind is not a one shot decision. It takes time, conscious effort, will and a willingness to accept and to appreciate.
It is quite incredible that the inner fire, the connection to our Soul, as well as joy and vitality is “always there inside us, waiting for us to reconnect to” yet most of us have given up and do not believe such a thing can exist because we rarely find any evidence of it in the reflections we see in the world. It is a real blessing that Serge Benhayon has been providing a steady reflection of an individual choosing to live in connection with Soul. And wonderful that others like you Nico are developing this in their own lives also, which can in turn inspire many more people.
Hi Nico, I too doubted myself and allowed the opinions of others to influence me, which played out in my behaviour. The life this setup for me was not true and thus was all very up and down emotionally. Now I am claiming more of who I am, my foundations are more solid and the love I hold and live in my life allows for more consistency and responsibility.
Surrendering to our True essence and living from here is as natural as day – it is little wonder that living in our True flow brings us deeper, sustainable joy, purpose and vitality for we are working with nature and not against it.
Thank you Nico, like you, and as you said perhaps most of us, I spent an enormous amount of time in life ‘trying’ even though I was actually really good at my work and lots of other things. It was the not appreciating that was the killer. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon were instrumental in removing the scales from my eyes too, and it wasnt until I began to notice and appreciate and then also celebrate just being me and realise that was enough in itself, that things started to change.
Vitality is not just about functionality, and yet most of us I would suggest would settle for a functional life free of complication. Of course, but in doing so we are capping ourselves from realising a level of vitality that is joyous in its simplicity, and yet magnificent in its wonder. And our ability to connect to that is firstly hindered by the fact that for most of us we do not even settle for a life of functionality, but a life disabled by constant exhaustion, and low grade anxiety. Of course, these two ailments in particular, are so rife throughout society, that they are not even diagnosed for the disabilities they truly are. And I say disabilities, because each of those conditions on their own are enough to keep us craving for relief by means that are not always healthy, and on their own are enough to stop us connecting to the true fire of our origins.
Once we have re-connected to this vitality and joy inside, we have found the most precious part of life and just need to develop how to bring it out and live it.
I agree Nico, It is beautiful to feel the joy and vitality of living in connection and expressing from my essence. It takes such an effort to keep in that struggle of life somehow gaining recognition and approval for winning over in the small and big battles but ultimately feeling empty and not enough.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.”” This way of living is confirmed within our families, at school and then when we go to to the workplace and we go along but all the while feeling inside this is not ‘it’. It is since meeting Universal Medicine that I have come to feel the missing part as connection – connection with me first and then others. Living in this way begins to reestablish a true and purposeful way of in life. Thank Nico for sharing your unfoldment.
Thank you Nico, what a beautiful confirmation of the joy and vitality that is available when we reconnect and live from our inner connection with soul.
“The Joy and Vitality of Living Life” – Nico when i read this, i reflect back on my own life these past few years since Universal Medicine, and feel the enormity of changes i’ve made from feeling so lost in the world, floundering in who i am, worried about where i’m going and what’s important, to feeling a definiteness, clarity and purpose beyond and outside of my former ‘tick box life’. The effect i feel in my body is suppleness from a place of former restriction and constriction, ease and flow in my communication and most importantly steadiness in myself and a developing true confidence. It’s been incredible and like you enjoy today a life of vitality and joy.
This is showing that to live in truth isn’t about the hardship, but living in a way that is in connection with the all, the joy that is deep within ourself. Connection, living connected.
It is really beautiful to read your writing Nico and your development. It’s amazing.
I too grew up in what I felt was a ‘normal’ functioning family, but never understood there was a possibility there could be more .Now I can feel the joy you are describing here..’ that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more,’ I realise there is so much more we can bring to our relationships and family life. True connection to others brings so much more depth when we are prepared to be open and work together wth love.
Now in my sixties I feel the fittest, healthiest and the most joyful I have ever been and that is all because I have chosen to explore and practice what the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine and the School of the Livingness. Never had I expected that as I aged life would just get better, as it now does.
‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore’. To be able to say this and live it has freed me from so much struggle and exhaustion. In acceptance, and building appreciation, of myself life is no longer a battle.
It is true what you say Nico, true connection is hardly if ever encouraged within the family situation, but we do feel like something is missed within our relationships. What you have described here is a miracle and would transform family life as we know it.
I find this very revealing and also very fascinating – we can in effect be under an illusion that we are making our lives better by improving the outer and even think and feel a buzz out of doing so. But it will never compare with the vitality we know we can live when we are living from our Soul.
It is astounding the pressure we put on ourselves to perfect what cannot be perfected – that is a life that is disconnected from the light of our Soul. When we start to reconnect and remain present with ourselves the ability to accept everything as it is, including ourselves, is an everlasting gift.
When we let go of everything and come back to simply being ourselves, it is effortless. Anything else takes quite a bit of work. And by no means am I saying that we can sit still and be who we are, we can move through life doing what we do, but being ourselves without all the added extras.
It’s an interesting scenario that we delay “the good life” by thinking we need to work hard first, perhaps even work ourselves into the ground, and then in retirement or through some financial luck we can finally let down our hair and begin to enjoy life – it’s a very far off reward. This way of thinking is like putting on blinkers to the joy and love we can live right now, we don’t need to wait to get to our retirement age, we can instead now make a whole new way of daily living that involves each moment feeling loving and joyful. And it’s so simple, just be ourselves and our natural essence. We do not need to trade off living a hard life for a small amount of happiness later on! Everything we need is there waiting for us in our essence. Living this is the joy.
When we are living our lives from our hearts, as you share so beautifully, Nico, the sun is always shining, it radiates out from our essence, we see the beauty all around us, we meet people and connect with their essence first, understanding that any anti-social behaviour is not them but how they are choosing to be in that moment. There is a natural evolution as we allow a deepening of our relationship with our self and honour the learning this brings, this permeates into our every movement. The opposite of this, to live in disconnection leaves us as vessels with no anchor bobbing around on the sea of life being pushed and pulled by a storm of ideals, beliefs, pictures, none of them true as they are not us, we are being fed how we should or shouldn’t be which will always leave us feeling empty as we’re filling ourselves with things that don’t belong, all the while dismissing the treasure trove of love that’s waiting to pump through our veins, igniting our grace and divinity and our connection with everyone else. When we put down our anchor, connecting with ourselves first, our lights shine brightly all linking with each other in the most beautiful network across our world and beyond.
Allowing our self-worth to deepen and expand is the bank of Love account worth investing in.
I so appreciate how the Benhayon family have inspired me and how I have changed my life and am more joyful today than ever before.
Thanks for sharing your blog.
This sentence stuck out for me:
Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.”
I have often sold myself short and tried to do it better and really there is only one answer, to love and appreciate yourself and value what you can bring to the workplace and to the world.
‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more’, beautifully said, Nico, and this is what we bring to all our relationships and interactions, inspiring others to discover their own treasure chest of joy just waiting to wrap them in love.
Thank you for sharing this Nico and showing that it is possible to live an ever expanding life as we get older. I know that my life has changed since attending Universal Medicine presentations and I feel healthier and happier now than I did 10 years ago.
Nico, The joy you live now shines through your writing. What a wonderful piece for men to read and connect to. In a society that tells men to work hard and not feel, you offer a way that can really sustain and allow men to live from their essence.
Nico, I can definitely relate to what you share here as I was always looking outside myself for recognition. If I could work hard then have the money to live a comfortable life. There was also the other side for me where I knew that the recognition was not it, so I would give up and go completely the other way and be disregarding in how I was living
As a child I could feel that the way my family situation was felt wrong. However I felt I had no choice but to go along with it.
When I had a family of my own I basically did the same thing, even though deep down I felt it was not right.
When I was 50 all this dishonesty caught up with me. I was totally exhausted.
With support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have reclaimed my life and am starting to feel the vitality that I had as a child.
It is critical that we do not settle for anything less then the truth. If we do this we can change our world!
This is gorgeous to read, what stood out for me this time was, ‘These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me.’ I can really relate to this Nico, I so often take for granted my family and friends and when I do actually take a moment to stop and appreciate my life and the people in it it feels very beautiful and I feel very blessed, I am finding that the more I love and appreciate myself the more i can see how amazing my friends and family are.
“Although I was good at my job I did not value this…”
Appreciation is an action which can debase the illusion of not being good enough.
I love what you have expressed here Nico. What would the world and our collective experience of life be like if instead of the continual messages that we are not okay unless we act, look, think and aspire to what is fed to us, we made it about supporting each and every person as you have been, to deepen our appreciation of our true essence and expressing our joy and vitality in the world.
Reconnection with your Heart and Soul is key.
Nico much expressed will ring true for many men and indeed women too, seeking to improve and better ourselves and about life being hard and doing the best we can. In this image of life, we do not allow ourselves the space to connect with something so natural. Indeed, perhaps we already know this and choose to not know, this being the ultimate set up we buy in to, in order to ride the roller coaster of life. But it always does come at the expense of our bodies and we miss the great vitality you mention without even knowing we miss it. Certainly I did and only started to realise this was at the basis of so many unloving behaviours from the time I began attending Universal Medicine events and began reconnecting with energetic awareness and responsibility.
Thank you Nico for your wonderful sharing. I can relate to growing up with the belief that you need to work hard to survive in this world or “make it.” This only caused me to never believe I was enough. I had lack of self-confidence, self worth and always strived to do more, learn more to “better” myself, only to suffer from chronic fatigue and mild depression. It was only until I met Serge Benhayon that my life turned around, through the reconnection to my own essence, and knowing that the gold I was searching for outside of myself is within and has always been there, waiting for me to give myself permission to shine and not hold back my power.
There is much to look at within roles in our society… To play the father, mother, brother, cousin is all just ticking boxes. What may not be immediately realised is that then does not allow us to let go of the ideals and just be ourselves… As you so graciously put it – “These feelings of insecurity meant that I could never appreciate all the beautiful and loving connections I had with my wife, children, colleagues and friends and what I was already bringing to my relationships just by being me.”
There is vitality in life and then there is joy. Vitality goes deep in to the tissues of our bodies when we have enthusiasm and the commitment for life. Joy is there, already within our bodies, resting deep in the tissues, waiting for our commitment, it is then that the joy of life, of being who you are, of expressing God, is set free and as such every person you meet is met by the joy that also lives in them, resting and waiting to come out.
Wow thank you Nico, so awesome to feel how you let go of the belief that life has to be hard and stressful and instead turn it round to a deep appreciation of yourself, your family and life in general. We can have all the material comforts in the world, or the best job but if we first don’t have appreciation it makes them all worthless.
I agree Nico the feeling of being insecure within ourselves robs us of the appreciation of ourselves in all our glory. We are enough as we are in our essence as is everyone, when we feel the depth and loveliness of our essence vitality and joy are there and life changes before us. Appreciation – I choose not to leave home without it ☺
Yes constant trying to better ourselves and never feeling enough is for sure not allowing ourselves to feel what we already got, what we already are and what we bring in just being us. Mostly everyone arounds us sees it yet if we do not stop and appreciate it is very hard to see and feel it for ourselves.
The constant trying to better ourselves is a huge pressure we put on ourselves, it feels suffocating and exhausting, really it is like abusing ourselves because we communicate the message constantly that we are not good enough. If we stood over another person and said these messages all day long everyone would be shocked by how horrible it was, yet we so easily do it to ourselves in the privacy of our inner world. Pressure and self criticism versus love and self appreciation – these are very different.
Our lives would be so much more joyful if we were allowed from our childhood to express from our innermost rather than having to conform to all society’s ideals and beliefs especially around family life.
The roles we take on to be “better people” are actually the very things that get in the way of being our true selves with everyone.
Nico I would say on a whole this is unheard of and that as children we have joy and vitality (although sadly this seems to be less the case now) but as we grow older this goes and exhaustion, stress illnesses and struggle then comes. But here you show the opposite that from not having true joy and vitality you now clearly do have this and are living this. This is a story everyone needs to hear as it shows exactly what is possible and there is another and true way to live and be it is just truly re-connecting to our essence it is as simple as that.
It is amazing how we can feel so joyful and yummy simply by remaining present with ourselves.
Oh absolutely Rebecca no complicated tricks required.
The constant striving to be better and do better is fueled by a lack of self-worth and to live life this way is exhausting. Knowing our inner essence…the part that makes us, the whole that is complete as it is, cuts the need for striving and bettering. It allows for a greater vibrancy, openness and joy to return that we once felt when small.
A beautiful blog where making life about people becomes first and foremost. Making my life about people first and appreciating and expressing this appreciation to those in my life, I know is natural and good medicine and is something I am learning to do every single day. Thank you Nico for sharing.
Living true joy and vitality in life brings everything alive … no such word as boring any more.
Reading this brings home the beauty of appreciation and the devastation that not appreciating who we are brings. Really wonderful to read how letting go of proving oneself allows us the stop to feel and appreciate our truth worth.
I could feel how much men are up against to re-discover their natural selves, as the beliefs about having to succeed professionally and work hard are quite strong. It is only through feeling the real purpose of life, the warmth of love that is inside you that these beliefs can start to lose their hold and be seen for the imposition and containment of the joy life can (and should) be.
I loved feeling the confirmation grow inside me as I read about the love, joy and appreciation that can be in a family.
When we value and appreciate what we bring, then doubt does not come in. It is amazing when we trust that we already have the wisdom and knowing what to do in our work life, in parenting, in every area of our life that we are extremely powerful. It is when we allow doubt to creep in that we lose connection to who we are. So, I am learning to value and appreciate myself more and more, so I can contribute to others all of who I am. Your blog Nico inspires me to be more aware of this, thank you.
Beautiful Nico the joy you share here is infectious and real and so different from the happiness and pleasures we are sold as being everything we seek leaving us always wanting more and never satisfied as it is not true real and consistently attainable. Thank you
“I don’t have to prove myself anymore” What a relief, hey Nico. It takes the pressure off us to perform and we can just be ourselves and funnily enough we often end up doing more because we love doing it and it flows naturally from us with a quality that turns all our actions to love.
Working hard is seen as good thing for we all know that we have a responsibility to contribute to society but unless we love what we do and understand the purpose behind it we will not bring true quality to the work. It will seem like a chore or we will get into a momentum of pushing for success which is really about me, myself and I and does not bring fulfilment.
I agree Sandra, when we have a true purpose in the work we do it changes the quality of the work. It can really be felt by all and leaves a lasting impression.
Appreciation of who we are in our essence is an amazing antidote for the need for perfection. Appreciation is super simple, light in the body and expands everything to its grandest possibility. Perfection is intense, the mind often wants to make it complicated and the body follows the tension, the pursuit is for a finale but the very rarely (if ever) is it truly satisfying.
” I always had to improve myself and it was never enough and so this pattern continued to permeate all aspects of my life.”
I know this very well, this improving oneself, bettering ones life, but all along missing out on the joy life truly can be about… not even asking the question, could there be more to life? but just settling for the best I could make it.
Its crazy really when you consider that we strive to make things better without the realisation that we have it all from the start. There is no need to look further than the divine beauty we are.
I love that Serge Benhayon constantly reminds it is not about perfection but commitment and it is a journey of return we already know this, we are coming back to what we have known all along.
Love how you mention living to the best of your ability will full conscious presence, this really is the key to understanding life and so is being detached.
This is pure beauty – thank you
‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more. ‘ I can so relate.
This testimonial underlines the responsibility to openly share your joy once this is a lived reality.
Nico, you expose well how pointless all the effort, striving, stress and strain to make ourselves better are. This only increases ‘suffering’ as an accepted normal way of living rather than the truth and joy that is possible when re-connecting to our inner essence.
Appreciating the qualities I bring to my work has been a big one for me. I had chosen to stay at home and look after my husbands and I three children and the household and I simply never felt this was enough. I was always comparing myself to others that brought money into the household and what they did in the home. This way of being started to change when I began to make my life about connection with me first and how I felt in my body. I began to feel an acceptance of my choices and appreciation of myself for what I had chosen. I felt I was doing well until recently when I realised there was more to heal and a deeper appreciation of myself was required. It never ends as there is always a deeper level of love to go to.
It is both incredible to consider the patterns we adopt from our upbringing that, when left unquestioned, permeate into our adult life and that with some willingness to question we can turn things around very simply so. I love this as a sweet, inspiring, tender and honest article.
Just beautiful to hear someone embracing life, and living it fully. Its such a counterpoint to the usual doom and gloom we get from the press of how much dis-ease there is in the world. There is a way of living that works and that is why it is so super important to have testimonials like yours Nico
All men should read this blog—the truth shared will be felt by all men and lived as Nico you have, when ready.
Being ourselves free from the pillars of life is deeply joyful, the joy comes from the warm connection we have with ourselves.
Agreed. I am rediscovering the joy and warmth of this connection. What I love about it is that every moment of connection offers up a deeper, fuller version.
And also when we connect with others on that joy too. Very beautiful.
We are naturally joyful, so when you remove all the things that we have invested in or bought into that are mere shadows of our essence and not part of who we are, then what we are left with is our divinity which naturally feels expansive and like being warmed by the sun itself!
Retirement can be challenging for people who have identified themselves with their job – they no longer know who they are and have no true purpose in life and they lose self-respect and consequently no longer command respect from others. They may seek distraction from this feeling of emptiness or they may even decide to shut down or die if life no longer seems worth living. This could all be avoided if we were reminded how to stay connected with the joy and love within us and valued the wisdom gained from living. Older people could make a great contribution to society if they valued themselves enough to do this. Those who do never retire and never give up and live a fulfilling and purposeful life to their dying day.
Any self-respect or self-acceptance built from what we do does not provide a solid foundation if it is dependant on what we achieve in our job, business, or relationship. If our role changes our self-respect can waver unless we have acknowledged the quality of what we brought to it which comes from within us not from the results we have achieved.
There is a great irony here that you have exposed so eloquently Nico that we are working so hard at making life work, while we constantly feel the tension that it is not working and we know life to be much more than we are living.
Obviously Crazy when it’s put like that – it really is a wonder how we keep going around doing the same thing that is not working just like a mouse on a mouse wheel – not really getting anywhere.
Yes, Andrew, Nico reveals what most of us have felt as the tension and struggle of making the best of a life that we know deep inside is not true. I love reading about the joy he has re-discovered.
I can feel in your blog Nico that there is a great assumption for many in life that it has to be hard work and that the harder we work in life the more satisfied we will be with it. Having tried this myself I can say that this formula is flawed and there has been a great freedom for me in understanding that I already am everything I need to be before I do anything and I don’t have to try hard to be something special.
I love this Andrew – ” I already am everything I need to be before I do anything and I don’t have to try hard to be something special.” How awesome would it be if everyone learnt that from early years on, instead of doing and doing and doing all in order to get recognition and acknowledgement, which of course will never be enough if we don’t connect to the awesome beings we already are.
‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so. This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.’ Beautifully said Nico
I love this quoted part also. It is a gem. How is that? No longer living from needing to prove yourself – totally amazing and something that I am sure every human being could benefit from living.
Thank you Nico, what a gorgeous sharing that I am sure applies to many if not most. Sadly few even know what joy is or have experienced it as we are sold happiness which is something else altogether and never satisfies in the long term. Joy is described a bit more here at Unimedpedia Joy: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-joy.html
I totally relate to your story Nico, I grew up in a family that believed life was tough and that you had to make sacrifices in life in order to survive, this created a way of being where I had to put everybody else first and never really consider myself in the process so the anxiousness, the drive, the pleasing all become a too familiar way of being and it was only until I met Serge Benhayon that I was able to reconnect to the stillness of my soul and could finally let go of all that abuse and complication I had lived with and embrace the simplicity of being me in everything that I do.
Thank you Nico, you are a living testament of what The Way of The Livingness is all about and that is to let go of all the roles and games we have played in the past in order to delay our evolution and to embrace the connection to our soul that creates a natural flow of life.
“I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it – but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life. All that was simply not there.” It strikes me Nico how hard it is to have any real sense of purpose when confirmation is so barely laid within our society – Serge Benhayon has re-introduced the power and importance of this blessing; to be confirmed for who you are and what you bring forms the rock bed of true confidence.
“There was always an inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle between what life presented to me to be, and what I could feel inside of me.” This is true for so many people including myself, and it was not until I met Serge Benhayon that I understood that what I felt inside of me was the truth of what I knew, but had always doubted.
“Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” It was never enough and I was still insecure about any decision I made.” – I can relate to this way of being, and have realised lately how important it is to honour myself and what I bring to the world, not in what I do, but the way I am with people. In a world that focuses so much on what we can create or produce and not on who we are (in essence) it’s so easy to lose that appreciation for ourselves. But without it, we can spiral further and further away from that connection with ourself and focus too much on trying to find acceptance from outer confirmations, an endless exhaustive way to exist, for sure.
We are indeed blessed to have amongst us a guiding Light that reflects to us all that there is another way to live in this world. A way that highlights that we have a choice to the degree of Love we can live, that this Love is already within us waiting to be connected to, and that our Soul is who we truly are through which we can live in this world Soulfully, through our bodies. Thank God for Serge Benhayon for living and returning to us the richness that we are born to live through the Way of The Livingness, a religion that is truly Heaven sent.
I love what you present here Nico… there is such a vast difference between function and living a life of true joy and vitality!
A very inspiring read Nico – thank you. We can spend so much time and energy striving for some form of feedback to make ourselves feel ‘better’ when all we ever need is within us all along waiting for us to re-connect to it. Because the struggle and ‘hard life’ has become so ingrained and ‘normal,’ it is only when someone who lives and understands this inner knowing to be absolutely true and presents this to us that we make a choice to re-connect to our true selves. Thank God for Serge Benhayon.
Thank you, Nico, it was gorgeous to read and share in your journey home, to claiming the amazing man that you are, in spite of the lack of true connection growing up, which I’m sure many of us can relate to.
‘I am, without perfection, on the way to fully living that lovely, sensitive, tender and wise man I naturally am. I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity’ ….. thank you, Nico for choosing to be the beautiful man that you are, for being this role model inspiring other men to connect with all that they are and know that they too can choose to live in this way.
I can certainly relate to the ‘functional family’ that you describe growing up in, but your sharing is a great reminder that a joyfull life is available to us all if we simply reconnect to our essence and by living and expressing the love we naturally are.
How beautiful to read your blog Nico. When we share our truth with others it opens up a huge space where we expand our own experience and that of everyone around us. For so long we have been ‘not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life’ and I feel that deep down we all know this. I know that for many years there was this deep sadness that I was unable to express my deepest feelings and truly connect but with the event of Universal Medicine we all now have an amazing opportunity to realise that connection is simple when we open our hearts to the potential and the possibility.
Hearing that “I am enough” is a very different supposition from knowing it and feeling it from the body especially when we have been brought up to believe the exact opposite! Learning that I am enough has taken many years to get to – I have had to discard many ideals and beliefs and heal many hurts. However what I have found underneath all that is so exquisitely genuine, gentle, delicate and gorgeous I wonder how I could ever have rejected it in the first place! When I am connected to this delicacy there is nothing in me now that doesn’t believe that I am all I need to be – there is no trying just a lovely en-joy-ment of being with me in my (now very much loved) body.
Just the title brings a lot to this world. The Joy of Life an expression that invites us to see and live life in a different light.
The world encourages us to see life as a struggle, as hard. Hence we are required and prepared to be up to that challenge. Yet, as we go into it we miss the real beauty of life and we replace it with proxies that do their job until ones realises that in truth they do not. Nothing replaces The Joy of Life.
Nico I know this one so well, trying to do our best and striving to prove ourselves, it is completely exhausting and never do you feel complete or content. I have been deepening my connection with myself and when I forget about this and make it about what I need to do then these old in trenched beliefs that I am not enough creeps in. I am constantly reminding myself that I am more than enough as I am – everything that I will ever need me to be and then some
Nico, this article is so beautiful to read and deeply inspiring, I can very much relate to this, ‘I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it – but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life’, I can feel how it is ‘common’ for life to be very serious; about making a living; keeping the house clean; surviving and getting through life rather than there being joy and harmony.
Nico you write: “That lack of inner connection with the love I now know lives in all of us, made me go into the working hard as this brought me positive attention and from this, I built a certain level of self-respect and self-acceptance.” Is this not exactly what most of us are doing? Thank you for sharing how you have changed your life – this is important as our world needs to see that there is this possibility to change and to re-kindle the love and joy we have inside of us.
Reading this it is truly lovely to feel such gentleness and openness being expressed from a man. It is an inspiration and a confirmation of how I, and all men, can be and it is our true expression.
I agree Johnathon there is a palpable tenderness and a lot of joy in this blog. You get the impression that he really knows and lives these things and is not just writing the words about them.
We are all raised to work hard to improve our selves, it is an international crusade that says we are simply not enough just being who we are. I love how Serge Benhayon restores us to the truth that we are already complete awesome, divine beings and there is nothing to mend, fix or improve, but a great deal to re-connect to within. All the striving to be something else is just a process of covering up our glory, our immense stillness and divine grace and what a beautiful journey life is when we start to connect to and reveal who we really are underneath all these self imposed ideals.
I was also brought up with the same work ethic to work hard to get ahead and make something out of life. At 19, I was going to college, had three jobs and a girlfriend that lived 50 miles away. Live had become full, real full without any spare time for any deviation. Being young allows us to do this, be it a short time, burning multiple candles at both ends… until the body shuts down. Ignoring our bodies and the messages it gives us is like putting sand inside a beautiful watch. I continued this pace for most of my adult life, be it at a bit slower pace but still running the body till it shut down. I can also thank Serge Benhayon for showing me there is another way we can all live that has always just been a choice away.
Thank you Nico – as I read your blog I had a deep surrender ‘ahhhh’ moment. What you share is deeply resonating, especially this ‘The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious, and through my honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more. ‘
Nico, this is such a beautiful piece of writing. From your heart straight to all of ours. Thank you.
To reconnect to who we are is one of the most joyful experiences we can have in our lives.
And there is no end point to the depth we can go to – which is simply beautiful because it takes the whole ‘I’ve reached this point’ etc out of the equation. Love doesn’t stand still – it is always asking us to expand. Sometimes we go there and feel the beauty of that and sometimes we resist and feel the tension of not going there, which eventually gets us to that next level of expansion. We all get there and will all always deepen – just the how may differ depending on what we say yes to.
We are not truly living if we stay in the complexity and try to be in life. Coming back to ourselves and our bodies is the most natural and simple way to live, our bodies know exactly what to do and how to move in a way that supports our every expression. We just have to let go the control, feel the love we naturally are, and keep expressing it out, and also letting it back in, as what comes in, naturally must go out, that’s the divine flow of life.
The complexity is so damaging especially when we stand in it and defend it. Simplicity and letting love in and out is far more flowing and natural to us.
We can spend our whole life looking outside ourselves for the approval of how it is we need to be or soon measuring how to fit in with what is happening around us just because it is intense to what we know is true or, we can acknowledge what is within understand ourselves and live from what it is you feel by letting go of your hurts and delivering yourself as you are. This is the greatest reward to give to yourself and always an opportunity to go deeper to what more there is to discover. Living life is continually accepting this.
It’s a great point you make Nico, if we are trying to live up to an ideal, there can be no true appreciation, and appreciation is such an important part of being able to deepen the love we bring to ourselves and everyone around us. Nothing to live up to in that, just the continuous unfolding of more and more love.
Thank you Nico for sharing so beautifully and honestly how there is nothing in this world outside ourselves greater than the feeling of being home in the most magnificent kingdom wherever we are, whenever we are connected to our Soul.
It’s so powerful to have just that one person to reflect another way of living and remind us of this other way that we all do know but have chosen to ignore.
Its amazing the normal we have come to accept, the lower we allow our standards to become the more the true vitality and joy of life that we are capable of living is left behind.
True joy comes from movement – a particular movement that moves in rhythm to the love that resides within. This leads to a magnification of that love, which in itself leads to an expansion that allows more love to be embraced, and so on and so on. There is no end to this process, and because there is no end, but a forever expansion of what lies innately within, it leads to a feeling of never ending abundance that we refer to as joy. That is its true meaning, and it is not as the world has made out the ephemeral and fleeting feeling of elation we refer to as happiness.
Understanding that the feeling of needing to continually prove ourselves runs through so many many people. It seems to be a standard way of operating which crosses so many cultures. That’s a lot of people taking every step on this planet with out an understanding that we are innately everything within already. This is one of life’s revelations brought to our awareness by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. An awareness, when we start to understand and choose it for ourselves supports us to turn our lives around in ways that are greater than any tiny moment of recognition from anywhere or anyone else. Understanding and appreciating we are already amazing brings vitality and joy to the steps we place on the planet. This awareness is worth sharing for the true healing and harmony it offers everyone equally.
It is the sad case for many of us, that we have lived or live wishing that life could be better, striving to better our lives believing that once we achieve this then all will be well. Always with the forethought that our lives would be better once we achieve a certain goal, we drive ourselves focused on the end result, yet only to discover that the ‘betterment’ be it money, attention, acceptance, promotion, being good at something etc. is only superficial as underneath the unsettlement continues to stir. It is only through connection to who we are within that we can truly discover a life of fulfillment, joy and vitality that has no need for struggle, drive or effort, only an honoring of what is already there waiting to be embraced and surrendered to.
That’s the crazy part, what we are all looking for is right under our nose, or rather within us – not outside of us. The love we all crave is and has always been right there from the beginning and I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon for showing me how to reconnect to that love inside of me.
Beautiful to read Nico, your expression comes with everything you live and can be felt. I remember as a child wishing we would go deeper with each other, share how we were truly feeling and talk about those things that might be a little uncomfortable but once out can feel completely different… but I see now, I didn’t bring this to my family and also played along with the superficiality and just getting by kind of living. It’s amazing how quickly others re-connect to themselves and open up when we reflect something real.
Isn’t it beautiful how much difference to a life appreciating and loving can make?
The roles we play in life are really an imprisonment, keeping us from being who we are. But it takes something to recognise and understand how it all works to then be able to free oneself from it. Only without a role we can truly be and meet each other and thus experience everything that we are, the joy, love, intimacy, truthful reflection, inspiration ….
The way you talk about your life Nico – I can feel all the space the you now have after dropping away these ideals, beliefs, roles and expectations. What you have written is extremely powerful and will have a profound effect on anyone who reads it. And gosh so many of us need to read it. The health stats are going through the roof. But it is the meteoric rise of mental illnesses that make this blog such vital reading.
It’s amazing to read your blog and to think about my life and my upbringing. Like you, the notions of joy, connection, intimacy…these just simply weren’t anywhere on the radar of my life, my parents or my upbringing. They weren’t things that they aspired to, considered, talked about, nurtured or even thought of as a faint possibility. They simply were not considered to be ingredients of life. Since meeting Serge Benhayon, my barometer of ‘what life is actually about’ has been entirely revolutionised. It’s amazing where I am now. Even more amazing, when I consider where I was heading.
What a glorious place to get to in life Nico – where the connection to the truth that we don’t have to prove ourselves any more is felt and known. I feel it too – thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – and know that there is real joy in living from this ageless and Soul-full space.
It’s very powerful to read the ‘before and after’ stories of Students of The Way of The Livingness. This is no exception.
Purely beautiful Nico – I especially love your ending ‘This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.’
How common is it for us to seek outside of ourselves for that which we deeply crave – and it’s inside us all along naturally and innately so.
‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so.’
What a release of angst it must be to not feel like you have to prove yourself anymore.
Nico, this is lovely to hear how you have essentially brought back purpose into your life – the appreciation and the openness make everyone and everything worth it! Lately I have been pondering on the fact that for such a long time, I have not allowed myself to really connect to the depth that I have a capacity to connect to – essentially, even though I have so much warmth and joy I share with my family on all levels, I have, at the same time, felt like this can be taken deeper and so in effect it has felt like what you have described with your family growing up: a lack of something whilst only functionality being present – when we don’t bring a new-found depth and openness when the opportunity presents, then very soon things begin to feel purely functional. And so it is time to allow the deepening, to embrace it and to say yes to it, each and every time.
It is true, our parents are not ever to blame for this lack of true connection because they didn’t have it when they grew up and we also contribute to the malaise by giving in and giving up on what we innately know.
Dear Nico,
I love every part of what you have shared above, but especially how you shared that self appreciation is the key to true joy. By being myself and feeling the absolute solidness that is felt in the body, this so deepens every time I appreciate this feeling inside of me.
It is like appreciation opens me to a deeper more beautiful part of myself everytime I feel it.
Tender and loving Nico… a testament to what The Livingness brings to us, to our families, to everyone around us. Thank you
Thank you Nico gorgeous to not only read but feel especially at a time when in the world it seems we are mostly going off in the other direction of trying, striving, illness and dis-ease etc. It’s great you talk of appreciation and this is key to not only appreciate who we are but what we bring in anything or job that we do which deeply matters, no person is above another. On the note of appreciation I know that hundreds if not thousands of people deeply appreciate Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for all they live, teach and present as lives have been turned around from disregard, depression, illness, anxiety, arrogance to true self-love, commitment to life, true purpose, truth, well-being and as you have expressed here joy and vitality ✨
Reading your blog this morning, Nico, I was struck by your opening paragraph and wondered how many people reading that would react in some way, either in pure disbelief that someone could express so much joy and truly mean it, or simply be jealous, wondering what’s the catch, comparing their life with yours. And yet, you are showing us what’s possible, that life can evolve into a joyful experience, and that it’s the choices we make as individuals that make it so.
This is the case for so many people. Life used to be dull and soul-less and now is pumping full of joy and vitality from the connection that we can have with our Soul. Our connection to ourselves and our connections with each other are enriched with love.
I know the way of living you have described Nico, of not appreciating my own value making me strive constantly with a feeling I need to do better all the time. This brings a huge pressure and dissatisfaction in our lives always thinking we’re not good enough and becomes a way of life with everything we attempt to do. Conversely when we can feel already have everything we need, we don’t have to prove anything to anyone, we know it is already there in our essence. This is so empowering to feel with the teachings of Serge Benhayon.
A gorgeous blog. The thing with appreciation is that when we are unable to appreciate us to begin with, we will not appreciate those around us, the richness of life we have and all that is offered incessantly.
Nico when life is first about the choice of connecting with ourself, living with a deep care and honouring of what supports us then I’ve also experienced a deeper sense of joy in all aspects of life. From home, to work and everything in between. Great to hear your story.
” I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything”. It is quite remarkable that inbuilt in us so to speak is everything yet we live with so much doubt, anxiety, lack of
self-worth etc. What is it about the way that we live that brings in those things that are not us.? This is certainly something worth pondering on.
A very beautiful sharing Nico and something so deeply resonating with my heart also that feeling of warmth inside and the treasuring of this is the love and essence inside us all. What we are missing out on if we do not stay connected to this is everything and it is absolutely life changing when we are shown the tools and way of living to sustain this with consistency and joy.
A tender sharing Nico, especially the relationships you now have with your family. Thank you for sharing what many of us have experienced in our own unique ways but not always with such a great outcome!
‘I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.’ What a beautiful reminder of all that we can reflect to humanity when we get ourselves out of the way.
Nico, Thank you for your open sharing. The culture of working hard to make it in life is one that I have grown up in too – and I can feel how it has influenced choices in my life, but that – as you so beautifully present – with the knowing of another way in connection with our inner-most there is no need to strive or prove and only a deep surrender and trust. It is crazy, because when I do live from this connection everything is so much simpler, grander and joy-full than living in the trying and ideals.
Awesome to read your words appreciating the gorgeous warmth and preciousness of our bodies – incredibly beautiful indeed.
Looking back I can see that I lived with a dread of ‘being found out’ because however hard I tried it felt like it was never enough. This caused anxiety and exhaustion and left no room for joy because I was always worried about what was round the corner. Since attending Universal Medicine presentations I have gradually changed the way I approach my life, letting go of my striving for perfection and starting to trust that I am enough just by being me. I deeply appreciate the joy, vitality and steadiness that I now have in my life and love the connections that I make every day.
I caught myself nodding Nico to all that you have shared here. Particularly with going into a role of ‘working hard’ the same as my previous generations of family shared that this was the way to get forward in life. When connecting and listening to that inner wisdom sharing so much more, that merging with the majority and following other examples around “trying to do it better” to prove something, to get on in life? does not connect us to ourselves or others around us. An inspirational sharing Nico thank you.
Through his lived example and presentations that there is another way to live, Serge Benhayon brings a great gift for humanity
Hear hear and double hear hear !
I love the tenderness you bring to us in this blog Nico, it is rare and yet incredibly wanted from each and every one of us, male or female.
I love the feeling in your writing, Nico, of the joy in deeply appreciating yourself, stepping away from the adopted roles or ideals and connecting to what has always been there inside. Beautiful…
One of the advantages of not being all that we are, expressing all the love that we are, is that others react much less to us. If we naturally have access to a lot of love we have to take quite strong steps of not being who we are like perfectionism.
We have all lost the true meaning of the word ‘love’ and so what are our families based on? What is it that we are all so busy doing? Is the answer the same as the question? Are we simply all busy doing without an ounce of love?
The ideals we take on and strive for simply because we miss our real sense of self are further harming of who we truly are. That is how the next generation is receiving the same falseness and so on. It is never too late to step out of this cycle and be open and loving with our family, friends and everyone and thereby offer the chance to heal for another as well. That is how society will change over time, by every single person choosing to be who they are and not live up to the expectations and ideals we have falsely bought into.
The phrase “such is life” is so evil as it justifies the norm and does not allow an openness to see that there is more to life than just getting by. No one is to blame but it is all our collective responsibility for not asking why life has to be the way it currently is.
Nico I can relate to much of what you have shared and I would say that not only did I grow up with the same scenario at home but that I duplicated it with my own family “It felt to me to be a functional family but lacking intimacy and true connection with one another”. I have come to know from the lived experience of my body that intimacy and true connection must first come from my relationship with myself first. Once I have established this with myself then I can go out and offer it to others but it took me a long time of blaming others for not providing it in their relationship with me, before I understood that others were simply reflecting what was lacking in my relationship with myself. I still fall into the trap of thinking that others aren’t delivering the things that I want!
I concur with you on this one Nico, I too have never had so much vitality and energy. It seems to be increasing, as I get older rather than diminishing, as is our common expectation. I am deeply appreciative of Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine, which have brought me home to myself. True success is accepting who we truly are, divine tender beings full of love. We have such a rich kingdom inside us just waiting for us to re-claim, a kingdom we have erroneously spent far too long seeking in the outside world.
Nico, this article is beautiful to read, I can very much relate to this, ‘I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it – but not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life.’ It is only now that I am starting to enjoy life, enjoying connecting with people and enjoying working and enjoying being me, in the past I had a lack of self worth and did not feel good enough, so this meant there was no enjoyment in anything I was doing,it feels great to have changed this.
I had never pondered on my journey into adulthood the total lack of reflections of another way of life… that was just normal life as we knew it. Now we have many reflections to show us something different that feels right. This new self-awareness allows us to also become a reflection for others.
I love the clear sense here from your words Nico, that there is indeed ‘no end’ to the beauty of what we can live, together. When we come to accept and truly know ourselves once again, this is a part of the knowing that comes – that there is ‘no end’ – for such love, being of God, only ever deepens and expands.
If we are willing, that can be our experience – until the end of our days and beyond…
Reading of your stepping out of the stranglehold of ever ‘needing to be more’ is truly inspiring Nico. How much of life and the richness, joy and depth possible in our relationships, do we shut out when we are caught in the throes of such limitation… So much of our world asks us to sell out to this paradigm, that we need to relentlessly achieve, prove ourselves, be ‘better’ – when in fact, the truth of who we are within is far greater than any of it.
Just amazing how this truth and its attendant, consistent joy has been brought to your life Nico.
Life before meeting Serge Benhayon was like living as a zombie amongst the shadows. I am now learning to connect to the true light that we are made of.
I agree felix – and I knew something wasn’t right but didn’t know what. It so happened everything wasn’t true simply because I was not living life in truth from my connection with me. Now life is a whole different ball game that I am fully playing.
Life for me has been simplified by reading and feeling the truth unfold in these blogs and comments.
Every blog and comment is another brick in the foundation of the truth we are now living. You are so right Greg it is this simple.
Thank you for sharing this Nico. A lovely and inspiring story. I love the line about not having to prove yourself.
Its the re-connection to the inner fire as you say Nico that brings great joy and warmth to our lives and its a choice we can make and connect to anytime.
“Although I was good at my job, I myself was not appreciative of that fact and because of that I did not value what I brought to my work, so I continued in “trying to do it better.” ” – again Nico, I see traces of this in myself even after quite some time making it a real focus to appreciate myself in my job and what I offer, simply because the momentum of not doing so and being so hard, harsh and self-critical was such a hold in the past years – I had this ‘not good enough’ all throughout my schooling and education and it continued to seep into my career choice and also professional life, which created the disease and handicap of comparison. Appreciation is such essential medicine to bring attention to oneself, to then make it not about oneself.
Great point shared Zofia. The game of ‘doing better” is so common to many. Things are never good enough and there is a never ending push to keep reaching new heights that seem to get steeper and steeper each time. The work of Serge Benahyon and his teachings on Appreciation has been the biggest marker that has allowed many to understand that we call the shots and have a choice to choose criticism or appreciation each day. The difference being one calls for responsibility and the other continues to play the irresponsibility game.
However, there was no reflection of that ‘other true life’ I innately felt, so I chose to work hard to maybe one day achieve that ‘other way of life.’ ” – what reality this is for so many of us Nico, including myself, ‘the other way of life’ – meaning a life that is full of tick boxes or checklists to feel as if by aiming for something you are achieving or that when achieved, you are successful….the living becomes such a measure and in truth such hindrance and a block to ‘the true life’ yearned for and miss/miss being reflected.
I was also the middle boy but I had an older sister rather than an older brother. At the age of 9 when I was starting to get to know my father, he died while sitting next me. Needless to say that had a huge affect on me. Life became about the parties and having fun!
I always felt that something was missing and continued to ask the question about what was ‘love’ and what did it mean to others. Never having any commitment to life or humanity, living became all about me. Thanks to your sharing Nico it has brought a greater awareness of how ‘intimacy and true connection with one another’ can deepen our self-love. Also from my personal experience, trying and doing my best also failed me miserably. Appreciation to Serge Benhayon. After many patient years of presenting to me and other students I am slowly getting the message about how to live a true life!
Thank-you Nico, I could feel the joy you expressed in your opening paragraph and also the true appreciation you expressed in “The joy that is felt from feeling an inner warmth in my body is so precious and through honouring that inner feeling thus expands and becomes more”. The beautiful transformation from trying to fit in seeking acceptance and recognition from others as is common practice to appreciating, honouring your tenderness and continually expanding your love, in other words simply being you.
Appreciating myself, appreciating others, how life transforms when I do this. In any given moment I can change how I see the world and it is all about the energy I let in my body. This is remarkable in its profundity but also so simple and very much what I am reading in your sharing Nico, you simple started making different choices that allowed you to appreciate your world.
Yes, and one of the biggest changes was to appreciate what there already was available to be appreciated.
Nico your experience echoes the majority of families dare I say! What a role model you are for us all in your reflection and expression about coming home to yourself and what this brings to all.
As Thoreau said – Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity.
Amazing to read that you are embracing the sensitive, tender and the gorgeous man that you are Nico. By staying connected to yourself, wherever you are you will no doubt inspire others to also connect to who they are, by simply being you; this is truly powerful.
Nico this is a very beautiful sharing, we can all feel the connection that you express about here, and can feel how deeply you hold yourself within this connection and share it with everyone you are with. We are all blessed to have your gorgeous expression out there in the world.
Nico, your description of the way you grew up and how you then approached life in your family is very familiar as you say ‘not loving and appreciating each other for the beautiful people that we are, or about enjoying life.’ – this I have lived and yet now so much has changed and I am learning to live and appreciate the life I lead, the relationships I have and the love I naturally am, and anytime I do not feel that I know to come back to re-connect to me and start anew. It’s changed my life utterly, and I now would not have it any other way.
‘I have learned from that upbringing that life is about working hard and trying your best to make something of it…’ I feel most of us have been brought up with this belief. I have definitely felt that in order to be rewarded in life you need to prove your worth…often through the struggle of getting through it all.
I’ve also found that living like this has been detrimental to my health. As I witness others around me choosing a completely different way to approach life, I start to appreciate the very fact that…actually…it doesn’t have to be hard or a struggle. It can be far simpler and far more enjoyable!
It is beautiful that you can come to a place of reconnection at any point in your life and begin to live again surrendered to your essence and the exquisite qualities just waiting there to be embraced when you do.
Knowing that everything we need is to be joyful is already inside us means we no longer have to search for anything. It means we no longer have to feel that we need to achieve something to be happy. We can come from this solid foundation of love and appreciate the gorgeous relationships we have. Living our true self, our vital self, brings joy and fulfilment and we then bring that to the work we do and the life we live.
Hi Nico, thank you for sharing the awareness you hold about the expanding ‘You’ in the life you are living. The connection to soul and the absolute trust that within each of us there is more is reflected beautifully in your blog. This shows that for us all we have available to us what is needed to make the choices that mean living love everyday and that no-one else can ‘do’ it for us. What a gorgeous reflection you are for your brothers, children and all those that come into contact with you.
Dear Nico, what a glorious delightful tender honest account of your life and the changes you have brought about by (re) connecting to the Ageless Wisdom that Serge Benhayon presents. I look forward to the day when the whole world writes letters like this as they have been inspired not only by Serge but by people like you who are also changing the world and returning to who they truly are and not living up to some expectation of who they should be.
It is very beautiful to have been witness to this unfolding Nico, and to see and feel you become more and more open and loving with everyone. It really is a joy to watch someone develop and grow into themselves in this way, and to share themselves with others for all to see.
I feel it’s a common tale Nico, we have not been nurtured to know we are literally power houses, with light, vitality and love in abundance. It’s always been there, but we were so busy trying to live up to and achieve the perceived goal out there, we missed the simple signs that we are already all and more within.
To now be in the presence of my Divine self is glorious and so naturally who I am and I have a celebration going on appreciating feeling the glory I am.
Valuing the great qualities that we bring to life and people is so important as it helps us build a strong foundation from which to grow, to uncover what’s there that is not so great and to let it go and to bring out more of who we truly are.
The feeling of not being enough and having nothing to offer the world has plagued me my whole life. I have noticed that it is only during those times when I am connected to my true essence that these thoughts do not prevail. In saying this I can also say that these degrading thoughts about myself do not belong to me, that they come from outside of me and enter through my lack connection to self. The question then remains how to stay connected, and that is where Serge Benhayon and his presentations of The Way of the Livingness have helped me no end to understand the processes of disconnection and connection and how to choice the latter.
When we establish a foundation of living joy-fully, we soon realise that this is not just for ourselves to enjoy, but to offer this reflection to everyone around us; our family, friends, community, work colleagues, shop assistants. Everywhere we go we can touch another with our joy so that they too can feel that this lies within them and is waiting to be expressed.
There is so much more to life then the seeming struggles and thirst for recognition of getting through it. We are so much more then our physical body, yet we can only feel that ‘more’ through loving, appreciating and being present with our physical body. Nothing is less – but we are so much more. A great example of coming back to love and returning to the home within.
I really enjoy reading about the journey of men in Universal Medicine; the beliefs and lifestyle you grew up with Nico, how this moulded your life, and now the reconnection back to your true essence, and how your life looks living from this everyday.
Incredibly inspirational read Nico. I could really relate to your life before and after Universal medicines inspiration of how you connect to an inner divinity, I am yet to feel it in the way you describe it but have felt this and know that it is real.
We are sold a false picture of how life should look that is completely at odds to how life would be lived if we lived it from an inner truth and not an outer ideal. We then spend our lives trying to live up to this illusory picture at great expense to ourselves. It is the perfect set-up to play small and live less than the true majesty we are. Coming out from under this cloud is very liberating and with that comes a great deal of joy, the stuff that we are naturally made of when not feeling overwhelmed by all the lies we have been fed and believing that they are true.
“There was always an inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle between what life presented to me to be, and what I could feel inside of me.”
I have felt this too. The uneasiness experienced when the ‘inside’ does not match the ‘outside’ and the resulting unsettlement that follows. I remember this particularly as a child, it made me feel very confused that what I saw did not reflect what I felt. I saw adults saying one thing but feeling another. I felt a warmth within that I could not see the adults feeling also. Hence my resulting ‘Peter Pan complex’ – I did not want to grow up and get old and serious and lifeless. This marked the beginning of my withdrawal from life, lost in my ‘own little world’ I would not engage with the outer world much to my own detriment. And like you Nico, it was not until I began to listen to the Ageless Wisdom Teachings as presented by Serge Benhayon that I truly felt it was safe to come home and commit to living in the world once more. For if the outer seems cold and false, it is because we are not living the warmth of truth in it.
You mention ‘working hard’ as you found positive attention from others – an interesting expression that: working hard. We are naturally gentle beings, yet when we get in the way we’re willing to sacrifice that and harden to get the attention of others.
We get so busy in our lives, with everything we are involved in and in all the roles that we play. But even with all that we fill our lives with we still search for more, like we know there is more. But we think the more is more things, stuff, things to do, things to search ‘out there’ for. But the very beautiful thing is that what we look for is already there, within, and untouched by all that we experience through life. A steady and very glorious flame that keeps our cockles warm. We simply need to re-connect to this and then live so we listen to this more and more. I woke this morning feeling how lovely it is to be me. I used to wake and think about all the things I have to do. I still have all the things I need to do, but the focus is changing and how I do all I need to do is key.
A lovely and familiar story, Nico. For years and years I sought approval, acceptance and recognition. It’s only when we connect to and appreciate ourselves that all that stuff drops away. I, too, am grateful for the teachings of Serge – as I am for my wife who began talking to me about living differently before I met Serge.
We look outside our self to what we do to give us a sense of worth instead of connecting with in, expressing and moving in our innate quality which is all the worth we already naturally are.
There is such a tenderness and strength in how you have written. And it stops me in my tracks – inspiring me to take life less seriously. Thank you.
This is a beautiful testimonial to Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and to your own ability, Nico to make the changes that brings the joy that emanates so tangibly from your writing.
The spark of joy when we met was something we had in common and I love the fact that after 26 years of marriage this spark in you and me has come out and sparkles and is an obvious part of our lives together. We have been, and sometimes still get, caught in ‘doing and being better’ but we are always coming back to the vitality and joy and appreciating our life together, thank you dear tender and loving Nico.
Beautiful Annelies…..And this sparkle gets visibly brighter and brighter every time we meet on your visits to the Sound Foundation in Frome.
Nico, whilst reading your words I remembered the times that I connected to the joy within me also, and how amazing it felt. There were no worries, no concerns and life around me fell into place naturally and without giving it any thought. For sure, I choose to dip in and out of my joy and how crazy is that, as it is there inside of me just simply waiting to be connected to and expressed, along with the billions of other people on this planet who have this joy inside themselves too, equally so.
When we don’t appreciate what we bring we try to bring in loads of other activities and behaviours to fill the gap where ourselves and our value should take place in the belief that more is better. In this striving I am finding that it keeps failing, as in all this introduced stuff just doesn’t work or falls flat shortly after. Reading this I wonder if rather than trying to constantly add more more more I just stopped to appreciate and nurture what I do have? Thank you Nico.
To enjoy life as a human without being owned by it – that’s something I study with Serge Benhayon. Before, the lack of understanding and awareness about what human life is all about made me be a puppet of ideals and believes.
Nico, this is precious to read and appreciate you and what you have shared here with us all. It is so often heard that there are tensions, dramas and issues among us and little or naught of any true appreciation for what others bring. It simply creates a society that is very distant and I feel what you have shared highlights the simplicity and responsibility we all have to appreciate and meet ourselves and our equal brothers who we truly are.
Nico you share how at a surface level not much changes but our essence; how we do things and in what quality is a game changer. by simple changes we can see great differences and this all comes down to us not playing the game of protection or disconnection.
“I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so.” Superb statement and what a true achievement in this world and all in the knowing that to arrive here is just the beginning. There is so much more love, appreciation and connection to live, so much more to life than just making it all work on a functional level.
The tenderness that you write with is telling of how you must be living your life.. with love, with self-appreciation, with loving relationships, which has all generated by the …”rekindled … inner fire, the connection with Soul…” To be inspired by the Ancient Wisdom presentations by Serge Benhayon has clearly had exponential ripple effects on life, health and well being.
Yes, Nico – Our lack of true inner connection is a breeding ground for perfectionism and striving hard in many ways to better and improve ourselves, which from experience, I now know this leads nowhere except to frustration, hardness and a sense of separation from others.
“Firstly, I put this working hard into my studies and into sports but was never able to sustain it. I always had to improve myself and it was never enough and so this pattern continued to permeate all aspects of my life”.
Nico, what a stunning and beautiful blog this is to read. Your re-ignited inner fire can be felt in your expression here.
Thank you for sharing this.
I can relate to everything you are sharing here Nico. When we make life about function and not about love there is a palpable emptiness that we try and fill through what we do. Learning to connect and to appreciate our own essence supports us in our connection with all others and life starts to be lived without struggle.
Gorgeous Nico, it is palpable to feel how comfortable you are in your own skin, with no need to prove anything to anyone else anymore. I am starting to feel the same, it feels very different to my past way of living. As I have developed my relationship with myself, all those old pleasing others behaviours are dropping away. Speaking what we truly feel is very joyful and liberating, like showing us your example with your journey too.
A ‘joyful life’ as you describe Nico, is not yet the norm, unfortunately. And as children, we get so disappointed when what we know to be normal, is not. I agree, that it is connection with our Soul and with God that changes absolutely everything – in ways we could not have imagined.
“I don’t have to prove myself anymore”. Those seven words are like a gigantic pressure release valve for men. To get to that space in your life is huge and once that ‘push’ has gone, the joy can flood in.
So true Otto, when we can let go the pressure of proving ourselves we allow the space in our bodies that reconnects to that grander whole we belong to and boy oh boy what a joy is it to be there.
So true when we do not have to prove ourself I have also found that by letting go of proving myself that I have also let go of competition comparison and jealousy!
Coming back to this comment a couple of months later is interesting. I have had a period of letting go of so much of that ‘proving myself’ and have also let go of layers of protection and kinda melted into my truer self. I use the word ‘melted’ because that is what it can feel like in my body – a release that reveals layers of tenderness and fragility.
Thank you for sharing your story Nico. Appreciating and valuing ourselves for the love we are and not what we ‘do’ brings a living joy back into our every-day.
Learning that life is not about being the best at our job and constantly improving per se and that we only have to be ourselves is truly freeing. As soon as we ‘forget’ that ultimately life is just about being ourselves, we subscribe to the other way of living, a way of living that is measured by results, how well we do and all what we do. This feels like never enough and learning that first and foremost life is about being ourselves is something very precious and relaxing to learn.
Knowing that you no longer have to prove yourself must be an amazing feeling, it is very exhausting trying to live up to all that you think you should be, it is also very common, the fact you have broken this mould is impressive in itself.
Hello Nico and so true, ” This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.” As you say it use to be, “I always had to improve myself and it was never enough and so this pattern continued to permeate all aspects of my life.” Who knew it was inside me all of this time as it certainly wasn’t the way I was shown in my early years and it wasn’t what was taught to me at school. Great to be shown the way now and thank you to Universal Medicine.
This is so lovely to read. I was just pondering on this focus on the outside world and all it’s trimmings and how it can get in the way of our true connection to ourselves.
“I can now see what this growing up brought to me for my adult life. There was always an inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle between what life presented to me to be, and what I could feel inside of me. However, there was no reflection of that ‘other true life’ I innately felt, so I chose to work hard to maybe one day achieve that ‘other way of life.’” That’s exactly how I felt Nico – it felt like the elusive light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be getting further and further out of reach.
Gorgeous Nico. It’s something to deeply appreciate where you’ve come from and where you are now and how you feel about yourself and life. What a true blessing for your family and everyone who knows you.
I can relate to the energy you describe Nico of never feeling enough, constantly ‘trying’ to be that elusive something and telling myself I’ve fallen short. Thankfully, that is all behind me now. Like you, I’ve gained a new appreciation of myself and rest joyfully in the understanding that to ‘be myself’ is enough.
‘I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so’. If others were graced with the same understanding the world would be a very different place.
I totally agree with you Kehinde, and one day we all will be graced with this understanding and with that restore heaven on earth, as above, so below.
This is beautiful to read, appreciating all that we are is the foundation of living a life full of joy. Knowing we don’t need to improve anything, but never stop learning from all that we encounter, evolving back to where we are from.
Always trying to better myself is certainly something that sounds familiar – unfortunately there is no end to this, it just keeps going as does the feeling of inadequacy – until such time that we wake up to the fact of Soul and that we are enough already.
This is really wonderful to read. The quality of being with Soul and living connected in this way, so different to living from emptiness and trying to fill the void. The connection is always there.
Thanks for the contribution Nico, The Ageless Wisdom is exactly that, a life of truth, harmony, joy and love.
The family experience you have shared growing up is very common Nico! There are an array of similar beliefs that hold families together. We can be taught and eventually grow up to move and live in a way that does not appreciate but always searches for more. Thank God for someone like Serge Benhayon who shows that it is perfectly natural and normal to live with appreciation as well as tick the boxes of ‘family life’.
Nico, I appreciate so much what you have shared here and can feel the amazing man you are reflecting to the world.We can take our families very much for granted sometimes so it is refreshing to feel how much you are appreciating what they bring into your life.
The image of life we accept as normal could be a killer of us. Anything that we accept as normal when it is not, becomes very difficult to change because it is feels so familiar to us that we do not even question it and if we do we still do not do it in full.
Nico it is simply glorious to feel the fullness that you bring to not only all those that you come into contact with and all of the environments that you are part of but also how your fullness actually changes the palette of life for us all.
‘I am learning to surrender to the knowing that in my essence I am already everything and that I can bring all of this wherever I go in humanity.’ this is huge, Nico, that ‘inner dissatisfaction and internal struggle’ is something many of us experience a we try to marry up what we feel inside with what we see outside. How beautiful that you have found the deep joy of being all of you.
Thank you for sharing Nico, the ‘not enough’ being replaced lovingly and with commitment to the fullness that you are, is beautiful to read and feel.
All I ever wanted is inside of me. Love. Connection. Understanding & Knowing. Divinity. Thank God (and me who chose to take it) for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who are supporting everyone to discover these inner qualities.
Rekindling our inner fire is the only thing that can truly fulfill us. Everything else falls way short of the grandness of life lived soulfully.
Over 8 years ago, I would not have thought that I would be feeling the joy that I feel within my life now, I had this feeling of being some kind of destiny pawn going along the track of life. I now realise that this was absolutely my choice to not take full responsibility for my own life and the direction it was going in. Thank God I met Serge and attended the workshops and courses and realised how held back I had chosen to be.
‘ I dont have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire’ Yes Nico, having that inner connection to soul brings a completely different way of living and with such joy. Thank you Serge Benhayon for bringing this wisdom from which we can all make choices to have this in our lives.
This is gorgeous Nico. I can feel your love and appreciation of your family and all you have opened to. What a difference from the way most of us are brought up.
There is so much more to what we get presented the world and life are to be, and sometimes it requires a bit of a leap or a conscious step out of what we are used to and deem normal to be able to see that there is so much more to life than we have thought and can see.
This was very beautiful to read Nico, a man connected to the true beauty within himself and unafraid to say so. Every man (and woman) has this and I feel your expression of it could support so many to allow this for themselves.
“We were a normal family, participating in a society where the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.” This is the belief that I too subscribed to when growing up thinking this is how life was and had to be. To find another way through the teachings of Universal Medicine has been revelatory. The teachings are the most enormous, precious gift beyond anything that could be materially offered.
I grew up feeling there was more to feel and connect with then I observed in life and family situations. First and foremost we all want connection with others and with ourselves. Function happens a lot in the world, how about deeper connection, that naturally brings joy. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I agree, I have never felt so much joy within, and I now make more choices to support that joy, the warmth and stillness inside, it is worth it, I am worth it. I do less to sabotage it, it is precious and it is my foundation. Yes, I say less, because I am learning and still there are times, that I let stuff get in the way, these are fewer, but on the whole that fire of joy and love is burning bright and it is through choice and commitment that is does so.
The lack of self-worth and how that then denies us appreciative all that we have is such a killer. Regaining that connection to ourselves that has no judgment, which we had as a child is such a joy.
This sentence resonated with me ‘I tried to make everything perfect to the tiniest detail, never considering how much effort this required, nor how much strain I was putting on my body.’ I have had this pattern and it used to really exhaust me. I was never enough and never felt settled. Being able to say I am enough and that there is no perfect has made a huge difference in my life. In not expecting perfection from myself, I no longer expect it from others.
What a wonderful sharing Nico. You and your family were definitely not alone in holding “the belief was that life is hard and that “you have to do your best to make it work.””, it seems to me that the majority of humanity carries this same belief, a very onerous belief that does nothing to improve the quality of our lives, but simply holds us stuck in a pattern that very few ever question. To have finally, through the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, come to a place where this belief no longer rules your life is so very, very inspiring.
We have been brought up to believe that the we had to look outside of us to be happy as opposed to feel that we already have everything within and nothing outside of us can makes us feel any better.
I seldom hear the word joy and until recently it has not been one I have used to express how I feel. Its curious we have it in our vocabulary but it rarely applies. Why are we not living life joyfully every day? There is much to unpack in that question, but with help I have started to uncover the me that has always been there, and more and more the word joy feels very applicable to some of my days.
If we don’t appreciate what it is that we bring to our relationships, our workplaces and communities just by simply being ourselves, then there is this constant striving that you mention Nico, this feeling of never quite being enough and always needing to do more to prove ourselves. When we start to connect more to ourselves again, we know and feel that the who we are comes first, before anything that we do. The what we do is then a confirmation of what we already are, rather than something we define ourselves by.
A beautiful sharing – thankyou Nico. “This reconnection has brought me the joy and vitality I knew was there, but had been looking outside of me to obtain it, while it was always there inside me, waiting for me to reconnect to.” How crazy is it that we spend so much time searching outside ourselves for something so precious and joyfull. Time to connect even deeper with myself.
Having that appreciation of yourself and then of others that you speak of Nico does indeed enrich our lives, and any material wealth or recognition from outside of us pales into insignificance.
To live life no longer needing to prove ourselves is such a relief to the body, as until this time it is dominated by the mind and its constant feed of images dictating how we ‘should be’. Connecting back to the naturally arising love and appreciation of ourselves and loved ones feels warm and gorgeous all of the time, so it is a no-brainer really as to which way of being will result in a life filled with joy. Thanks for your sharing, Nico.
Thank you for sharing Nico, so often we settle for less in relationships and in life and simply are happy with getting by. The more we appreciate ourselves and others the more we come alive – just like you have done. What a great example you now are.
‘I doubted myself by letting others advise me about what to do or to choose’- this is absolutely Soul destroying – it diminishes our power – for we absolutely know ourselves and what is true for us, better than anyone else
Appreciation is self doubt’s kryptonite.
My youth mirrored yours Nico, but I had an older and younger sister. My drive before meeting Segre Benhayon was also about the drive and to be more. But, this was never enough. Now I know that I was always complete and just did not stop long enough to feel it. Everything you have written here resonates within me. We as many other men have come home to who we all truly are.
Indeed Steve, you can say we have come home and have found who we truly are and in that I can appreciate that what truly matters in life as these are the intimate relationships I now have with many people I know but mostly so with my self in the first place as that is the foundation all the external relationships are build on.
Beautiful Nico. How exhausting is that drive to find that certain something that we know is there somewhere. When we stop and connect to the inner beauty that we innately are we learn to appreciate that we are already everything and just have to learn to live from there.
I too was always striving to be more. It is very exhausting, since appreciating and adoring who I am right now I have tons more energy. The last week I have been bouncing out of bed at 2.30 and feeling vital all day after doing 10 sessions a day. Shows how much energy we use when we are trying to be more rather then accept our self for who we are.
Great sharing Mary-Louise, my life also is slowly turning the clock back.
Great sharing Nico! We simply miss out on so much if we settle for the good and functional life without realizing that there is so much more that we can access.
How common is that attitude that life is hard, and then occasionally you get a bit of time off. Its a roller coaster set up that can never truly be enjoyed. Feeling the difference between that and a life that is lived fully such as what you describe is like chalk and cheese… totally different ends of the spectrum.
Our inner spark is always accessible. The only barrier is the layers we fold upon the spark which lights our innate way of being.
Conjoining quality with the tasks with perform is the greatest way to ensure this consistency.
I can relate very much to what you have shared Nico, before i met Serge Benhayon i felt like I was constantly steering into the wind; at the mercy of the waves but today i have learnt to navigate with the wind behind me, and life feels infinitely more steady & harmonious.
Aye, Aye Lassie – and a cold and salty wind at that! So much better to keep it behind – makes for a smoother journey.
Not to blame parents of the choices we have made even as children is crucial to understand the responsibility we have in life and to experience health and vitality as a consequence. Thank you Nico.
It is such a relief to let go the continuous striving for improving and bettering my life. Although at times this old pattern resurfaces I can say that I never could have made this life changing choices without the support I receive form Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and I feel blessed to be reconnected to the true meaning of my earthly existence.
Yes those old patterns can be tough to shake! Rather than striving to better my life, today I try and choose to support my life.
When we live in full conscious presence (throughout the day to the best of our ability) there is a lightness, a joy and an ease in our step which seems to melt all the struggle and replace it with a natural flow. It’s super simple and the results are profound.
Such a beautiful sharing, thank you Nico. I love what you express here, “I don’t have to prove myself anymore as I have rekindled that inner fire, the connection with Soul, the unwavering constant in my life and it will always be so.” What a relief that must be for you, and I can vouch that this is what can happen when we choose to feel and live with that inner fire, when we know we are beautiful just as we are, and there is no need to be proving ourselves in any way. How much more simple life can be when we do this, no more complication, which is what we ourselves do to ourselves in our lives otherwise. For me, it is still a work in progress, but I too am living with so much more joy and vitality, I am now committed to life, which was not truly so before I met Serge Benhayon. I too have so much to thank Serge Benhayon for, in helping me turn my life around.
Finding that life can bring us joy and vitality was a huge shift for me.
‘It is still a work in progress’ for me to live fully connected all the time. After 13 years of being a student of the Livingness, life has shown me we are all on the path of return and we cannot judge where another is at.
At the same time my life is now so much more – abundant, joy-full, vital, with a commitment to live life in full – and I am also taking responsibility for all that happens in my life! Thanks Nico, Beverly and Serge Benhayon; every chance I get to deepen my expression and awareness, is a blessing, so that my being can come to a new level of understanding and healing.
When we see just how truly amazing we are and what we bring to all relationships, workplaces and the places we go, we begin to truly appreciate how important it is for us to be exactly as we are without the need to fulfil the continual onslaught of images and beliefs we have held for so long. Beautiful Nico thank you so very much for sharing.
Beautiful blog Nico. I can totally relate to everything you’ve shared and it is gorgeous to read how you have found vitality and joy through just being you. I never knew it could be this simple but it is, and I too have experienced this shift. Now, I am living more connected to myself and therefore to others through inspiration from the presentations and workshops presented by Serge Benhayon. I am also appreciating from reading blogs and comments of many people experiencing similar changes from choosing to be more connected to our essence and living a truer way of life.
Beautiful Nico – a true testimony of how we can make life simple and true or like we are all professuonals at; make life complicated and hard. It seems like the first one is the most beneficial option, even though it might feel uncomfortable as it is not familiar – which is another way to face it and actually test it.!
It feels to me like all our relationships offer reflections and we can learn and grow form the parts of these that don’t feel true, that don’t bring joy and or that feel devoid of love and care. I can feel from what you write Nico that you have really developed a loving relationship with your family and this is a very solid base from which to live your life.
I feel it is true that all relationships are reflections for us to learn from. Some times it can look ugly, it is confronting to see the choices I have made in the past, concerning what people attempt to label me with, but learning to see it as something to learn and not react to it, I feel ends the perpetuating cycle of blame and protection.
“I cannot remember ever being as joyful in my life as I feel now. Living in a vital body, having amazing, deeply loving relationships with my wife, my family and friends and enjoying my work throughout the day to the best of my ability in full conscious presence” – wow. How many of us on this planet right now can claim the joy and glory of our life with this absoluteness? There may be many who claim that they are making more money, living in a bigger house, driving a better car etc. and I can feel how there needs to be relentless striving to keep up with that ‘success’ as long as we are choosing to avoid the true success we are actually guaranteed and equipped with. It really is just a choice apart.
This is amazing Nico, thank you for sharing your experience of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. My experience has many similarities, my life seemed fine and pretty typical prior to discovering the Ancient Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon. However, there is now an amazing joy and fullness to my life and an absolute appreciation of myself, my family and all around me that I did not even realise could exist.
I feel the same, Lee. I remember being defensive about UniMed before going and hearing Serge present, saying that my life was amazing as it was – great job, great friends and family and great lifestyle. What I’ve come to find is that the more I have connected to myself, acted on what I felt from within and appreciated myself the more amazing I’ve felt. How wrong I once was!
This is pretty much anyones story Nico, as most of us have lived our lives either in part or in full striving to do more, be more and bring more to our work, families and friends as this way of living life was imbedded from within our families when we were young and from all that we observed as we grew up. What a blessing to have met Serge Benhayon and all that he presents so that more and more of us can surrender to being ourselves and begin to look at the quality that we bring to everything we do, say and think.
What a stunning blog Nico. How powerful it is to simply appreciate ourselves and how vital this is to the depth of the connections we have with others.
…and that’s what makes this work, the Way of the Livingness so amazing. It isn’t complicated. It’s within each one of us – it’s almost like the world’s most obvious secret and I’m so grateful to know the ‘secret’.
Thank you Nico for sharing your lovely story of your reconnection to your true essence and what that has brought to you- “joy and vitality of living life”, thanks to the ageless wisdom shared to us by Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine.
This is really beautiful to read. I can really relate to my lack of self worth meant I felt I had to work hard for people to even want to spend time with me – so be funny, be entertaining. I couldn’t appreciate why they would want to because I wasn’t feeling how lovely I am in my essence. It was so exhausting putting on this show whilst feeling a fraud. As I’m connecting with the essence of who I am and appreciating myself, learning I am enough as I am, I’m enjoying the company of others and feeling more at ease.
The inner warmth that you mentioned Nico is the most amazing feeling that we can have with ourselves, it absolutely changes everything in life. This is the feeling of connection with ourselves, a deep love affair we can open with the most intimate person we have in our entire lives, a relationship that can be deepened every moment, we are worth so much more than we have allowed ourselves to live, but that could change right now.
So true Adele, we always have the opportunity for never deepening, intimate relationship with ourselves.
Nico van Haastrecht has a wonderful understanding of himself and of what he brings when he speaks from his heart. Also, it is beautiful to read the writing of a man who is so willing to admit that what he worked so hard to keep going was actually not working at all and was in fact just keeping him away from all that he truly sought.
When you go into a shop there are a million shiny products. We buy them take them home and use them. But what would it be like if we were told one day the device we had paid for had a secret button, that made it transform, expand and soar? This to me is what you describe with our body Nico, except that the ‘button’ is not so secret, we just made ourselves blind to it. So no matter what we look like on the surface we all have this inner capacity to be great.
I love this Joseph. It is simply allowing us to see more, to look beyond the flat screen of 3D.