True Responsibility – My Understanding

I used to live in a world of blame, drive, struggle, anxiousness and images of how life should look in regards to career, marriage, children and family. This brought in comparison, judgement and jealousy. I was not willing to take full responsibility for my choices along the way. When things did not go to plan according to the image I had in my head, I would blame something, someone, or the situation.

The concept of self-care was never in my world. For me it was all about achieving the successful end goal. I had an arrogance about me of being able to play roles and perform tasks like men, and in disregard of my body I would lift heavy tables, boxes and bags. I prided myself how I could do DIY work around the house, from minor electrics, to fixing things, to putting wardrobes up etc.

This had started from when I was young; I wanted to be seen and recognised by my father that I was no less than a man. I would watch my dad with all the work he did around the home. I took on subjects at school like electronics and physics at the age of thirteen; I was the only girl in these classes. I pursued these subjects until university. I then chose to study Information Systems engineering. During this period, I had the determination to be like men.

What I had not realised until the last five years was that the momentum I was living in was harming my body. My body had become very hard and rigid, my periods were painful and then I developed endometriosis.

Looking back at this, it is no surprise: how could my reproductive system be open and alive when throughout my teens to my mid-thirties I was choosing to be so shut down and driven? I had little connection to what it meant to live as a woman, and what I have to offer in this female body. I had completely sold out to being like how many men choose to live – hard, in control, in protection, dominating, and driven.

It all changed for me around the age of thirty-five – and a few years into my marriage – when my husband and I wanted to have children. My body was not responding so we went through IVF. When that failed I was devastated. I had already been seeing an Esoteric practitioner, as she was a friend of mine, and I had started to work on myself, knowing there was something more to life than the way I had been choosing to live. But when I dropped low after the IVF failed, I decided to attend the presentations held by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

From the first moment I met Serge I could feel the pain and deep sadness in my body come up and as he spoke, tears started rolling down my face. At the time I did not understand what was happening and why I was feeling like this, but I felt inside that what he was offering was what I was missing – my connection to truth.

At the end of the course something made me go up to Serge to say thank you and he gave me a hug. In that hug he gave me these words of wisdom: “Be Love.” Those words have stayed in my body ever since and that was a start to my healing journey. I had felt the truth and absoluteness of that connection to Love, something I have not ever remembered feeling before, and I knew then that it was now up to me to start the journey of healing my past hurts. So I started to attend more presentations and continued to have Esoteric Healing sessions.

Through the presentations I began to understand what true self-care and self-love meant. This I took back and started to implement into my life. I started to attend women’s presentations as well; I was committed to working on myself. The journey has not been easy but the love and support I have received from everyone has been amazing, and this has allowed me to go deeper into surrendering to who I truly am. As the years went by, the words I personally needed to embody were always shared in presentations by Serge, at just the time when I needed to hear them.

What it all came down to was taking responsibility for all my choices and to connect to my stillness and to fully express myself. Over the last five years my body has gone through so many changes, from healing endometriosis, emotional issues, and relationship issues, to changing how I work and relate to others. For the first time in my life I can feel my connection to my sacredness as a woman.

And this is just the beginning…

By Amita Khurana, BA Honours, Hotel Business Owner, Director, Practitioner/Therapist, Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk UK

Further Reading:
Energetic Integrity and Energetic Responsibility
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life
True Responsibility

540 thoughts on “True Responsibility – My Understanding

  1. It may sound huge to be responsible to be love, but in fact it is where we are from and are made of, so returning to this state of being is actually our normal and a very natural way to be. The relaxation that this way of being is bringing to my body is extraordinary compared to the anxiety and nervous tension I have felt all of my life, caused by living in disconnection from that source I belong to – that is love.

    1. Nico I know what you mean, when we are not connected to the love that we are, there is that underlying anxiousness and nervousness, which is caused by living in disconnection from the body by numbing it further through the choices I was making, all very self harming.

      1. Until we all will come to this understanding that what we actually are living a lie, the lie of not living who we naturally are, the anxiousness and tension that is so wide spread in our societies will continue to exist and leave its trails of devastation and waywardness in all people we live with on this world.

  2. 5 years ago, I would have never understood how ‘being loving’ and ‘taking responsibility’ could have been possible in one go. It’s amazing how it all makes sense and its simplicity is felt when truth is presented through the livingness.

  3. To be offered truth and to ‘Be Love’ is a blessing. I know for myself, it meant letting go of facades, pretence and protection. I dropped into my body and stopped fighting or ignoring it. I learned to love and deeply care for myself.

  4. Many years ago Serge Benhayon offered me this: ‘ First love is to self, then lovingly embrace all others as you go’. At the time, I felt the truth of his words and understood it but at the level of knowledge. Today, I embody and live it.

    1. That’s beautiful ‘ First love is to self, then lovingly embrace all others as you go’, we have to start with self otherwise we cannot embrace others. When we work on self we are able to then embody and live it, this has been my experience.

    2. Love the words you were given Kehinde, when we choose to love ourselves deeply and unconditionally then we naturally embrace others as we go about our day. No need to try it all naturally happens, I can really feel these words they resonate in every cel of my body, thank you for sharing.

  5. Taking responsibility for my choices after many, many years of blame is not easy but as I know without a shadow of a doubt this is the way to true harmony on earth I cannot but remind myself in those moments of blame that life is about taking responsibility for every thing that comes my way. It is with this consistency that I learn to take responsibility for my life.

  6. I had exactly the same experience with Serge Benhayon. Not the first time, because first I resisted, but next courses I went, on the last day, he walked by me and I cried: I surrendered to the truth and love he is living.

  7. Responsibility is a beautiful thing, it literally frees us from the chains of selfish endeavours that are narrow and lead no where. Responsibility brings in a wider, deeper and more spherical awareness of life that is rich and expansive…

  8. “What it all came down to was taking responsibility for all my choices and to connect to my stillness and to fully express myself.” Surrendering to our stillness and letting go of the need to push and the intensity of drive in our bodies is an amazing thing. Each step we take can be a greater step to more unfolding of who we naturally are and that is love.

  9. Life is absolutely full of moments that may not initially appear to go the way we would have liked it to go in our head. A lot of the time we are living with ideas and pictures from our minds in complete separation to what is true from our body. I love it though just how the body always brings us back to truth eventually

  10. Thank you Amita, we are all precious beings and it is only through our willingness to care and treat our bodies with love and respect that we can begin to understand the power within and the reflection we can support those around us with.

  11. “Be love”. Just two small words but they contain the whole world and more. From first hearing them from Serge Benhayon it took me a long time to appreciate their significance and I am constantly finding their meaning deepening for me.

  12. Thank you for sharing Amita. Too many of us today as women go into drive and become like men to succeed … like you I tried to please my Dad and doing things that I felt he would like all the while suppressing that I was and am a beautiful woman, and of course my body showed this, with irregular periods and if this did come painful ones. It’s taken some time and like you I’ve been on a journey of rediscovering who I am, and how I express as the woman I am, and how deeply precious and sacred I am. And you’re right, it’s a never ending journey and isn’t that just amazing.

  13. The healing of our ‘original’ reasons to choose something is a very powerful and responsible choice. So much can un-ravel from there, be let go of and release tension for our bodies, allowing the space with-in to return to its natural state. In this our bodies give an opportunity to return to well-being as they aren’t carrying the burden of the un-dealt with baggage of ideals and beliefs about who we are, should be and do that isn’t true for us in our essence or our bodies.

  14. The truth is my body already knows what it is able to manage with due care and honouring. There is a ripple effect through my body when anyone or I approach ‘heavy lifting/work etc.’.
    With the understanding that I’m working with-in my range of physical ability and approaching this with the utmost conscious awareness, gentleness and choice of movements, the task completes simply and efficiently or becomes super clear very quickly that it is not do-able. Or there is the: ‘has to be done, get in and do it’ approach which can come with complications and frustration.
    They feel very different in the body and one can leave after affects.

  15. About 6 years ago I would of only been able to relate to the first paragraph. As I read it today, just as Serge Benhayon has this way of presenting exactly what we need to support us in any moment in life. I could relate to the first paragraph but everything else on a much deeper level. With the support of Universal Medicine my issues are no longer bigger than me, nor are they able to have control over me unless I allow them. They never go away never to return either but ask me to be more of the love I already am.

  16. Thank you for sharing your journey so far Amita! As you say you are only just beginning like many of us.

  17. Healing starts when we get the understanding that our body is not it and we are more than this flesh and when I first met Serge Benhayon I can say that for the first time I had a glimpse of what the illusion about our body was all about. Connecting to this truth has been an amazing journey as I have undone so many patterns of the past that would have ended up being a devastating disease / diseases in my body. Connecting to our ‘sacredness’ is so important, as we become more selective in our choice of energy, then the rhythm and flow of the universe can be felt within our bodies. Thank you Amita, what you have shared has deepened my relationship with my body.
    For more about our body go to;
    http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=BODY+INTELLIGENCE

  18. My picture of what success is has changed through knowing Serge Benhayon – from being a picture to being about an energetic quality in the way I do things, a tangible feeling in how I live my life rather than an attachment to an end goal. I still catch myself locking onto images or ideals of how I want or think things should be but it is becoming clearer to me what I am choosing when that happens and so can then choose to bring myself back to my whole body and the quality in the way I am moving with and living life.

    1. What I have come to learn as we take responsibility, those images start to drop off as we become more connected to the present and the quality in our movements. The end goal is already taken care of for us, that knowing is felt in the body, how we get there is no longer important, but staying present with the body in each moment is the key.

    2. So true Fiona, and the pictures and ideals can be there as normal so they can be hard to spot sometimes. Coming back to the quality of how we do something, the energetic responsibility has been a game changer for me.

  19. My ideas of self-care was one that was would have been considered by society as ‘pretty good’ and ‘normal’. On the surface I was healthy, fit, and took care of myself. But within I was anxious, unsettled and constantly feeling and deep sense of unfulfillment. Through the presentations of Universal Medicine, I discovered that there was a whole other level of self-care that was waiting to be explored, which was guided by my connection to Soul. This was the measure in which I began to understand true self-care, not only for the body but also for the being within the body. Understanding that the quality of our choices is the determining factor of the quality of life we live and share with others, is the true responsibility through which we all have the opportunity to live a life filled with Soulfullness.

  20. “Be Love” is our major task in life you could say, as when we make our life about love first then everything that comes from that will be impulsed with that same imprint, the imprint of love and eventually will change the world into a place where all people will live harmoniously together and where people will prosper and evolve.

  21. the truth of our ways gets reflected back to us in the body one way or another – we can learn gracefully as we go, or we will have to learn by the consequence of illness, accident or disease… either way is a deep healing on offer, just that with one we use our time wisely and the other we waste it.

  22. Every single woman who returns to living the sacredness that we know and we are, is inspiring another and many other women to know they can too. Thank you Amita.

  23. We come with different stories, but it all comes down to that before meeting Serge Behanyon, we were not living a life with Truth and Love. I was always looking for the right way as you might call it, but could not find it distracted by all the offerings out there that just don’t present the whole truth. After resisting (from my head) Serge for a year I surrendered to the love he is so clearly emanating. My body knows all along what my head was resisting.

  24. I too used to live with blame and struggle… and large dose of lack of self worth. It took a while to get over the hump of really understanding what true responsibility was. Responsibility is freeing in every sense of the word as we begin with honesty and make our way to truth there is nothing left to cause resistance in the body. And if there is – I know I have something to work on!

  25. I am learning that it is never too late to change the patterns that may have dominated us over the majority of our lives. It is the willingness and the dedication to see there is another way that has supported me to look beyond the barage of frustration and self doubt that rears its ugly head in those first few days, hours and months.

  26. I have spent years looking at ‘issues’, talking about the difficulties I face, listing out the things that don’t feel great. But nowhere in that time of looking for solutions did I accept where I find myself, and stop blaming life, situations, others and myself. Blame just stops us bringing Love and understanding to help us see the truth. The saddest thing is it’s not restricted to just one thing but effects everybody and everything. Thank you Amita for this great reminder of my responsibility.

  27. Of course it is difficult for humanity to understand the depth of responsibility and what it really means … if it was understood, of course the world would be a very different place.

  28. What are we doing as women that make us think that we need to be like men to be recognised? What are we putting our bodies through? I recall many years ago being overseas on an overland trip with 20 others. One of the jobs was to assist in packing and unpacking the trailer everyday of all everyone’s bags and I thought that this would be a good job for me. Lifting heavy bags in and out of a trailer twice a day. I pushed myself to do this and I did it as I thought that a woman can do this too, “I’ll show everyone”. But really is this true for a woman to put her body in this circumstance or situation? Is this the way for a woman to connect to a feel what is at our core. From my experience its not and all that does is push us further away from our very natural and beautiful expression that being a women naturally is.

  29. Wow, just in your first paragraph I got how indulgent it is to live from our ideals and beliefs. It’s a great way to stay in comfort and avoid the truth of the world we live in, and the power we hold for change when truth is walked.

  30. Thank you Amita for sharing your beautiful story, your choices to become more responsible and commit to healing your hurts has supported you to feel more deeply connected to your sacredness and power allowing space for the body to truly heal.

  31. I agree Amita, taking responsibility for our choices is the most powerful healing support we can offer our selves. Then the choices we make to support our responsibility can reflect back and magnify the potential to heal.

  32. Thank you Amita for your tender sharing on your life and endometriosis. Your experience with your true responsibility and your understanding of how it plays out when you do choose to step up and when not. Clearly we can see a vast difference and end result when we play small and hide (playing ourselves and our true potential and purpose down) as to when we choose to be full of who we are.

  33. ‘ I had felt the truth and absoluteness of that connection to Love, something I have not ever remembered feeling before, and I knew then that it was now up to me to start the journey of healing my past hurts.’ Very beautiful Amrita, with Acceptance, Love and Appreciation we can start healing our hurts and begin taking true responsibility in our lives.

  34. It’s an awakening and a gift when we realise that we are complete and absolutely responsible for our lives in the tiniest of details. Every problem or issue is an opportunity rob become absolutely honest with ourselves and allow ourselves to heal the hurts that drive us to blame, judge, be a victim etc…..

  35. This is a beautiful blog showing the power of one’s reflection when they live all the love they are. Serge Benhayon is a walking clearing symbol, as we all are if we chose to live a life of energetic integrity.

  36. What you have shared here is that we don’t have to accept just what we see in peoples behaviours, well we can just see people as their behaviours, but when we do, we miss out on being able to truly know who they are. Yes sometimes it can be hard to see past behaviours, but that is ok that can take time, but to just know and understand that people are ‘not’ their behaviours is key.

  37. When we are inspired to open up and feel the truth and love within us, we are impulsed to start to take responsibility by being honest about the way in which we are living and initiate true change.

  38. Something so simple as ‘be love’ can transform our world. In these two words is all the wisdom we need to unlock the prison we have locked ourselves in. We are love, and to live this in our every movement turns our self made prison into the kingdom of God within.

  39. That pattern of shirking responsibility is a big one Amita and I still get caught in it sometimes. It is so normalised that when things don’t go the way we expect or have planned that we look outside for something to blame rather than stopping and really considering what the situation is showing us about ourselves or life and what part we may have had to play in the way we were living in the build up to that moment.

  40. Healing is an unfolding back to who we really are, to our essence, and not a development or improvement on the implied ‘broken’ person this latter approach starts us out as. A beautiful example you share Amita thank you, a very inspiring story of re-discovering who you are in truth.

  41. It is very interesting to see the journey that a little girl can make, from sweetly precious to something else, something perhaps not so sweet or precious, something maybe that has been created to please others or to satiate a depths of sadness that simply will not go away. Whatever it is that we choose to transform in to, that sweet and divine child can never truly be lost, she is always there inside ready to be re-connected with at any given moment. This is just one of the many gifts that Serge Benhayon has shared.

  42. It’s very true Amita, most of us do live with the ‘end goal’ driving us, rather than any sense of self-care, let alone love towards ourselves. Making the shift is huge and clearly well worth it.

    1. It is a big hook the ‘end goal’, the drive it gets us into and we can end up in so much disregard for self and for get about self-care. Bringing the awareness to this is is a great way to start a shift.

      1. Yes exactly, and this ability to not leave ourselves out in the doing of life comes back to a sense of self-worth and knowing we are already everything we need to be by our presence. Not as an excuse to not do what needs doing, but that we don’t drop the self-care in the process.

  43. The moment we start to embody what we hear in the presentations and courses of Serge Benhayon our lives start to change and we can let go striving for the end result and choose to live in a self loving and caring way everyday.

  44. Blaming others is a reaction for not take responsibility of our part, for not looking at the truth that is revealed in front of us and/or within us

  45. Oh how I have felt the hardness of trying to keep up with the men in my life and prove my worth! I mean what is with that – where did feeling less in terms of my worth than a man come from? Yet there it is, being lived and really harming our beautiful strong yet delicate female bodies.

  46. “Looking back at this, it is no surprise: how could my reproductive system be open and alive when throughout my teens to my mid-thirties I was choosing to be so shut down and driven? I had little connection to what it meant to live as a woman, and what I have to offer in this female body. I had completely sold out to being like how many men choose to live – hard, in control, in protection, dominating, and driven.” This is fascinating and powerful information. It makes sense and should be added to the list when people are researching the causes for endometriosis.

  47. Sometimes we get it into our heads that life should be a certain way, and this distracts us from taking good care of ourselves, and making that our priority.

  48. Women will not compare or compete with men once they realise and honour their own value as a woman. This is only a ‘male’ driven society because women have allowed it by not having a deep relationship with their own body, cycles and feelings.

  49. We can do so many things but if we do not take care of ourselves and live in a loving way the many things become a burden and stress as our bodies cannot cope with the workload because they are busy with their own un-wellness.

  50. This blog brings us a great point to reflect on: what roles are we taking on, pictures are we trying to live up to, that are causing us to live in a way where we dismiss and hurt our bodies? Ignoring our bodies and constantly overriding them hurts us because we’re not taking care of it and so we allow it to physically wear out, but also that constant dismissal of what the body needs means we’re constantly dismissing ourselves, telling ourselves that we’re not worth taking care of. That disregard then becomes the bedrock for our relationship with ourselves, and all others – for if we’re abusing ourselves, why would another to treat us any differently?

  51. “I was not willing to take full responsibility for my choices along the way.” i think you are not alone by far, this is the reality that so many of us live with today and how society is formed, we avoid responsibility at all costs. Not only that but we don’t even consider “energetic responsibility” and like to see that we are entitled to our own indulgences, often citing they don’t hurt anyone but being ignorant of the fact that anything we do anywhere impacts everyone – even if we do something with no one watching us.

  52. I can relate with what you share in this post, and I see so many women are now living a far more masculine role, ‘I had little connection to what it meant to live as a woman, and what I have to offer in this female body. I had completely sold out to being like how many men choose to live – hard, in control, in protection, dominating, and driven.’

  53. We do miss our connection to truth, in fact we are often in so much reaction to the lack of truth in the world that we display all sorts of behaviours that do not support us at all.

  54. Thank you Amita — the way you walked has now all the truth and love in it — it is just a matter of re-connecting every time again.. These tools to re-connect to who we are, to the love and truth inside us (that we deep down carry), have been offered by Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine in its many many ways. For everyone. Thank you for that — each day I enjoy life more in connection of my true self with all others.

  55. Attempting to live life to fulfill a role and create an identity is a ‘killer’ to being oneself and living a truly fulfilled and joyful life.

  56. “What I had not realised until the last five years was that the momentum I was living in was harming my body. ” I can so relate Amita. Changing my choices and my life style has literally transformed my life.

  57. ‘the momentum I was living in was harming my body’, these momentums of our own making which come from all our choices can become so ingrained and put us on automatic pilot – my old momentum of putting everyone first and myself last, so very little self-worth left me exhausted and miserable. It took me to get breast cancer to break this momentum. I sensed the opportunity that breast cancer presented to me to change my life. The first thing I did was decide that I would no longer put others first ( that pattern had to go), and second thing I did was to ask for all the support I needed – and that felt so very loving to allow myself to receive.

  58. We often set off on a track and it takes us away from who we are, how our bodies are and eventually our bodies bring us to a stop, and the question then becomes what we do … do we embrace what is offered or do we ignore it, and to hear how we can in fact embrace it and then expand out to feel more of who we really are and to come back to living the tenderness, joy and sacredness we are and can live as women. Thank you Amita.

  59. The quality we live in, how we live and move does have a huge impact on our health. It is great to hear that you now take care of yourself and live being love – choices I have equally made.

  60. It is easy to blame everything outside us not realising how we set ourselves up when we conform to an image that fails to deliver what we expect from it, and thereby distracting us from acknowledging and taking true responsibility for our choices that led to that experience.

  61. It is great to read how many old un-loving ways of behaving you have let go of, to the extent that your life and health is completely different, and you now have a sense of your value as a woman.

  62. Blaming someone or something else for how we feel doesn’t get us anywhere; if we want to truly change how we feel inside then that comes from inside of us and not something that another has to deliver to us…

  63. Beautiful Amita, when we take away the doing, we are left to be still, knowing and re-bounding to who we are.. this is where the stillness of who we are truly lays and that is where our sacredness remains.

  64. When we begin to understand the word responsibility, the resistance and avoidance that was once there just fades away simply because our life transforms as life becomes simplified and we feel the joy of being true to ourselves.

  65. Amita you really show what happens to the body when we try to do all the things men do, unnaturally so. There are some things we can do if done in a gentle tender way but if we go into drive or push our bodies to perform, the only way we can do this is to harden and numb ourselves so that we don’t have to feel the extent of the harm we are doing to our body. Our body is not a machine, it responds to love and gentleness and we over ride this to become noticed and seen, and as you have shown Amita this can start from an early age.

  66. It is true there is an arrogance that comes with thinking we can do everything men can do, and the sad thing is it is still championed by many as being a good thing, instead of seeing the harm it is not only doing to our bodies but to everyone we meet. To harden and override the body’s innate way of being we have to bring in a force that is not part of our normal make up and with this the arrogance can follow, and I know from my own experience that it is not nice for others to receive.

  67. If we didn’t have these markers from our body what’s to say we wouldn’t keep going down a path of irresponsibility and not looking after ourselves? It really is a blessing that we are constantly shown the effects of our choices.

  68. The simplest of words said in truth and complete love, can unlock life times of patterns brining truth back to our breath.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s