How do we know as a toddler how to and when we are ready to walk? Of course we see others are walking, but that does not show us the mechanics of how to do it and we do not know when they began – for all we know, if we do not have young people in our sphere of life, it is possible they may have started this process later, in teenage years.
Could it be that we are connected with our body and we get the wisdom/intelligence from our body that sends us the message to begin the process, and so we do. We start by standing and we may fall down, and up we go, then we fall again and again, always giving it another go.
Many of us are like bulldogs, we do not give up and we just keep on until we have mastered it. We do not consider we have made a mistake and are wrong when we fall, we just get up and give it another go. Then we move a foot and leg and then another and then we fall and then we give it yet another go. We keep listening to our body and follow without questioning, with loads of enthusiasm and committed to the whole process. And bingo! … before we know it we are walking. I was observing this process with a toddler recently and the joy in his whole being when he took off was so beautiful to see.
So what changes? How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers? What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong. Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.
When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it. There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.
So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk.
By Mary-Louise Myers, Complementary Healing Practitioner, Goonellabah, NSW, Australia
Further Reading:
Listening To Your Body
The Body Speaks Loudly But Am I Listening?
The Body Knows
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Enjoy and embrace the process of learning, ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’
Serge Benhayon in his every move inspires us to retrace our steps and walk in the glory we come from.
Our body knows when it’s time to start walking….so what else does the body tell us it’s time to start?
The body is wise and guides us through life, ‘Could it be that we are connected with our body and we get the wisdom/intelligence from our body that sends us the message to begin the process’.
The way we take off when we walk establishes a pattern for us to follow in our next step, so a steady absolute focus that is absolute then can follow in the way we then walk.
I love the simplicity of this blog, and so spot on about toddlers, the joy of learning something new with no hesitation, so felt by all around them. As we become older, the mind kicks in and feeds us what we can and cannot do and how it will be etc. It kind of over rides the body that is communicating the absolute truth.
It’s a whole new life when we listen to the body’s intelligence, we are energised and even the mundane thing is joy filled. There is no right or wrong, there just is a way to be with the body that will support us throughout the day, if we are willing to go with its flow.
When we are connected to our bodies in the way that small children are, we get to experience once again how secure we feel in the knowing our bodies communicate.
Michelle so true, children do feel secure in their bodies, as we become older, we often feel the opposite. Unless we have the loving and understanding support from adults, who nurture and support that our bodies communication is more important than our minds. We are far from this reality…
Getting things right or wrong is such an intense part of the education process, we begin attributing our worth to doing well with knowledge, and then the agony of right and wrong is taken into adult life. It can be quite crippling, and it’s so different to how young babies are, embracing the joy of what they are learning and focusing on the joy, not on the so called mistakes.
Absolutely Melinda, Joy, comes before appreciation, and thus every step that follows in that True expressing brings us more light to reflect and then as we walk that we deepen our Love by walking our True origens.
Right and wrong can be quite crippling, ‘ why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.’
It certainly helps to see the learning process as a joy instead of a chore or one where we have certain expectations placed upon ourselves. When we are free to learn in a way that allows space and confirmation, the learning does become something we all want to be a part of.
There is a wisdom and an amazing body intelligence that lives deep within us all – and I love the example here of the toddlers, for from their body they know exactly what to do and how to do it. A great example for us all to come back to and give permission for that intelligence to be re-awakened again.
Yes, no right or wrong, instead just embracing a learning process, ‘How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers?’
I watched a short film clip of a baby Giraffe attempting to get up on its legs it was very uncoordinated and it took some minutes to get up on its feet. It was moving in pure instinct and I wonder if this is what humans have lost our instinct using instead our minds which is not anywhere near the same thing.
I absolutely love the fact that, “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop”. When you come to this point in your life – it sure took me a while – it feels like a heavy weight has just been released, with the agonies of right and wrong making way for the truth of the lesson we are being presented with, along with the knowing that the choice as to what comes next is totally ours.
Ingrid, I was watching a little baby recently it was having great fun exploring and was rolling on its side and then back on its tummy and you could see how the baby was feeling into this new sensation and discovery. I realised that we have lost this sense of having fun while exploring something new or old. It has been replaced with getting it right first time so that we can get on with the next task, where is the fun in this?
Then I realised that we do not seem to have simple fun or simple enjoyment of life anymore and that is a huge shame as it is there waiting for us to reconnect to.
Thank you Mary for your comment, it’s s great observation and very supportive. The whole business of getting it right first time is very regimented and no wonder people give up, instead of having fun and exploring the new. We’ve made it about an outcome not the quality we do life with.
Maybe also to get the recognition and approval, ‘It has been replaced with getting it right first time’.
Something my dog reminds me of every time we play ball, is how to be committed to everything in life with the same consistent joy and enthusiasm but with zero expectation. Every ball thrown is treated with the same absolute gusto, whether she catches it or not, there is no giving up or giving in – an awesome lesson from a small fury friend of how to live life to the max by applying all of us to all we do all the time, no regrets, resentment or self interest at play.
I find bringing myself back to an awareness of my whole body is really supportive in learning and living life, it’s something that I keep bringing myself back to, to learn and grow.
Coming back to being with-myself, ie fully connected to all of my body as opposed to living just from my head.. was the most solid choice in my entire life because of the way that embodiment changed how I lived life – fuller, with understanding, and with wisdom.
A lovely reminder how easy we learn as toddlers and that it is ok to fall down, it is part of the learning, and then to stand back up and try again, and again, until we have mastered whatever it is we are trying to master.
It is a lovely analogy .. learning to walk… imagine if babies gave themselves a really hard time when they fell over … hmmm i doubt if the human race would be walking at all 🙂
In relation to being a toddler I do not think for one second they worry if another is walking if they are not or how they walk. It shows how insignificant it is that we do when we are ‘older’.
Absolutely not, ‘I do not think for one second they worry if another is walking if they are not or how they walk.’
So many of us are afraid of making mistakes and being wrong and hold ourselves back from expressing what is there to be expressed – it’s crippling us. Accepting ourselves, and each other, as a forever student is a great counter to that very debilitating posture we have long been adopting.
I so agree about the power those ‘mistakes’ have to cripple us, in many different ways. Making any sort of mistake had the most horrible effect on me, so determined was I to be perfect. It has taken a while to let go of the perfection, to realise that there are no mistakes, only lessons, and to accept myself as I am. And I have slowly discovered there was an amazing woman waiting for me, to accept and to celebrate.
And recognising we are all so unique, and what each of us brings is very different, yet needed.
I completed a task today and I actually thought, how did I learn to do that, and I realised that part was from watching other people and the rest was from just knowing. When we open ourselves up to the possibilities we realise that anything is possible.
It’s genuinely freeing to let go of judging our mistakes and labeling ourselves according to whether we think we did something right or wrong and instead see each moment as an opportunity to truly learn and develop.
When we are not in competition with ourselves or others we are always learning how to move our body with a deeper connection to who we are.
Well said Mary, when we do not compare or judge ourselves with others, we are free to listen and learn from our bodies and what they are telling us.
I never once thought that our bodies, being and mind were all connected until I heard Serge Benhayon present at courses, workshops and presentations. It makes sense on an energetic level that they are all interconnected and how one has an immediate effect on the other. So how are we living that supports a vital body that is moving in a way that confirms and honours such a magnificent way of communicating.
As a child I don’t remember a lot of thinking and now grown up I have a lot of thinking. I sense that this is where that big difference comes from because if we just be with our body and how it moves learning is more natural and there is no judgement but when we go think we need to learn something we come with a picture and when we don’t meet up the picture this is where the complication starts.
I love watching how toddlers try things, learn and then move on. If it is working they keep doing it, if its time for the next thing they totally embrace it. And yet as adults, we fight and resist what is on offer and what is naturally next. Perhaps there is much to learn from a toddler.
I am sure there is much to learn from toddlers.
Thank you Mary-Louise, you remind us of what we are capable of living — a whole body intelligence. No longer living in the denial of this intelligence but choosing to live more in the acceptance of what we are capable of living and bringing forward in life. This only when we connect to ourselves, our forever deepening of connection to God.
When we are toddlers, our learnings come from the body. There is a sense of togetherness. We learn on the move. And there is a lot that is about movement. In that there is no right and wrong. It simply is. Right and wrong comes later into our lives when the body ceases to be the source of our learnings and our mind takes over. Coming back to the toddler’s times requires us to be able to re-connect and re-discover to the joy of moving.
It is true that it would be extremely rare to see a toddler give up on learning how to walk. There is something inside of us that tells us we cannot stay crawling around the place forever and we answer the call and stay committed to our purpose. So why do we give up so easily we adults when we can sense that it is time to move on and up in our lives and our bodies are telling us loud and clear that now is the time to change, grow and evolve?
Our intelligence is much greater than our minds can tell.
One of the most wonderful aspects of reconnecting with our body is how we can feel, start to feel, the resonance of our own voice. This opens a whole series of doors of reconnection, taking us back to expressing with our whole body, the intelligence of our whole body.
Giving it a go, with everything we have got, and not giving up immediately because we can’t do it the first time round. Beautiful qualities in a child, and equally in us as adults if we will allow ourselves to simply be.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ Spot on Mary-Louise, with whole body intelligence we feel wisdom and truth, right and wrong simply doesn’t exist when we connect and live this truth.
For me my first steps were in committing to self-care and making more loving lifestyle choices and as this momentum built, I could feel I was in a process of coming back to whole body intelligence as my old habits and patterns ( of numbing and dulling my body) dropped away.
So true Mary-Louise we definitely need to bring more appreciation and wonderment to the learning process regardless of our age.
Reawakening our connection to the Ageless Wisdom is to share the joy of a toddler learning to walk again.
I love watching young children and their connection to their body. With lots of them I see a real joy and ease with themselves and their movement. No pictures or comparison just letting their body guide them the way. With some I observe a ‘freshness’, like they haven’t been in a human body for a long time and are figuring out how it works.
What a gorgeous and simple sharing, I love it! There are everyday new things for us to discover and this is exactly the attitude that supports us to be open and willing to do that: ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ It doesn’t matter whether it is something new on the computer or a new relationship our body is the perfect guidance.
Reading this blog was a great reflection on how much I leave my body with the distraction of thinking about events before throughout my day. What resurrected me was giving focus continually to my body. Not any analysis, bashing yourself and regrets but to focus on and give my all to what I am doing now in the moment.
It is so true… Our bodies know exactly what to do… How to move, how to be, and especially how to sing 🙂
Hahaha, Chris, I love that: our bodies know exactly how to sing! And it is true if I simply surrender to my body a completely different sound comes out.
And that’s the thing isn’t it Monica…. all we have to do is surrender.
I don’t recall the feeling of being ready to walk but perhaps this is because it does not come from your conscious mind that we don’t. It fascinates me how baby birds ‘suddenly’ know it’s time to fly. I get the feeling it’s the same with us learning to walk. Even without seeing role models I feel this intelligence is there within us and guides us when our body is ready.
So often intelligence is presented as something that appears to come from our brain and then down to our body, like the brain alone is the seat of intelligence rather than appreciating the innate intelligence of our whole body that we can tune in with…
Great example Mary-Louise. It reminded me of a photo that I have a child when I was learning to walk, and I was clapping my hands as I was so full of joy. Now when I think of myself trying to wrap my head around Google Analytics or some other new reporting mechanism, there ain’t no hand clapping! More hand slapping! So a pertinent reminder of the joy of learning and letting go of the ol’ right’n’wrong.
and even though we walk everyday be it from one room of our home to another do we appreciate how we are moving and how our movement and walk can heal us? Through Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon this is something I am learning more and more.
‘Coming Back To Whole Body Intelligence’ – understanding that life is about learning to live and to move truly in one’s body changes the focus to what you end up doing in life because you live wiser and in/with more awareness. Awareness about life from the body grows wisdom.
Commitment to anything always gets the desired result, no matter how long it takes.
This is such a beautiful sharing Mary-Louise of an intelligence we all have access to by virtue of the fact that we all have bodies that enhouse our Soul. As children our relationship with our body is deeply connected and we respond immediately to the messages it communicates, as such we are open to exploring, discovering and learning what is needed for us to evolve, or to take the next step. A powerful reminder of an intelligence that is ever-present and accessible for us to embrace, thank you.
As toddlers we have such determination, enthusiasm and joy in learning and trying something new, knowing we will get there no matter how many falls we experience. What changes? I think you have hit the nail on the head with the issue of right and wrong coming in. We feel the pressure of measuring up to other people’s markers of success and the hurt of not being given the grace to get there in our own way and timing. Luckily this can be reclaimed as you give focus back to the body and look to ourselves for what is true, rather than right or wrong.
Do we re-consider our relationship with learning as we go through life: are we making it about needing to get something right to gain recognition and acceptance, or simply about the pure joy of trying, failing, and trying again until eventually we get it and move onto the next thing?
Introduce the word joy into learning and everything changes. There is an innocence in giving it a go no matter what rather than getting it right… we allow ourselves time and space to improve, hone, practise and so we develop, and in the example of a toddler… literally take the next step!
It is quite interesting: when we are toddlers and did not yet go to school (hence we are not officially intelligent), our capacity to be with the body and to explore life from it as it unfolds is greater than when we get to be adults (and we get to be officially intelligent). The level of pollution we allow in not only clouds our innate intelligence, but also the result of choices that were not that intelligent. So, ironic as it may sound, the path to ‘intelligence’ is about making choices that overall make us truly less intelligent.
True, there is no right or wrong when we are connected to and in our body just an opportunity to learn, ‘why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong’? A great reminder to remain joyful as we learn.
I love the reminder to celebrate any new ventures we embark on….which allows me to feel the joy in life and that joy is a choice, which feels so much lighter than the seriousness I had been choosing all my life.
When we walk with the wonder of simply feeling our feet and arms swing brings a magical rhythm to our walking!
We can and do learn so much from our mistakes, they are like our teachers if we are open to assessing and learning.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” I love this. Yesterday experimenting in the pool after a swim session with Simone Benhayon, she had said the very same thing. Making ‘mistakes’ isn’t about being wrong, They are an opportunity to learn and make changes and behave/work/ be a different way.
This is such a beautiful wisdom to impart to our children, to truly listen to our bodies.
I agree Chris, and how life becomes super simple when we live true to ourselves, when we listen to the wisdom that we all have access to within.
That’s the thing Isn’t it… The simplicity! And this is the doorway to so much for us all… To keep things simple, and to take things one step at a time… Always in stages… Back to the simple things :-).
I love this analogy and yes I feel most of my days I am like a toddler and there could be a lot of falling down at times but somehow within there is a joy to keep going and then it dawns on me that everything is a process towards something unfolding.
We can walk in contraction or knowingly of who we are. The second requires connection to our body and Soul. From this connection we know much and can be living from within – the love we are..
A toddler is always learning never giving up but trying again until the process of walking is gradually mastered. They are one with their body and are impulsed by its intelligence every step of the way, a beautiful example of our evolutionary pathway.
I love to come back to this blog and be reminded how we all had to learn to walk, fall down, get back up and try again (with no fear or any self bashing that we have developed as adults) until we had mastered it, and then there was no stopping us – how lovely to be in touch with that magic again!
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ As simple as that!
When I read this blog I can feel how much time I’ve wasted beating myself up when I make a mistake. This is what holds us back more than anything and it’s completely unnecessary.
I have noticed how great ideas come through when I’m feeling settled and connected to my body.
Yes when we let our children know that “not being perfect in things that we do … Is fine… cause we’re already perfect in just being me” as the song says …☺
Love to read this blog again today, and be reminded that we are here to learn and that learning does not need to be serious, it can be fun! Now that perspective does change things….. I already feel lighter as my old habit is to tense up when I am learning new things.
The mind likes to think it’s in control by planning, creating and thinking – but the body is under a high order, one that is universal and in that a natural flow is delivered and can be lived by.
We know when we are ready to step up, and while there may be a faltering start, like a child we can make mistakes, brush ourselves off and try again.
A great sharing, and after reading this blog, I was watching my 1yr old daughter who has just started walking, and it occurred to me that she has not crawled since she could walk – ie she doesn’t do what a lot of adults do and go backwards. She is focused on the now and the future – she is committed to trying new things – it is a joy to watch.
What is the whole body intelligence? Does it speak to us? It is a vibration in our body that impulses us, the body knows what it is when it moves – and does not seek to know itself – it is our spirit that seeks to know things (by using the mind) and uses the body in a configuration of control to get what it wants.
‘why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong’. This line really brings me to a stop so that I can reflect on why i always have tension in my body when I am learning something new….. What I can feel further is, if I get it ‘wrong’, I feel I have failed in some way or let some-one down, etc so quite some self-bashing goes on. Time to change this. It is a simple choice to make learning fun and to be curious just like we are as children and that there is only ever learning, no matter how many attempts we may have, ( and perceive as a failure) judging or criticising ourselves takes all the fun out of learning.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop” Understanding this, allows us to meet life more through our bodies and maximize every opportunity we have been given to be more loving and understanding in order to return to that which we know so well within our souls.
When you look at our Universities and then at a young child, you really realise the extent to which we’ve got life upside down. We stand there with our mortar boards, our cloaks and paper scrolls, our exhaustion from hours of intensive, stressful study, while the child has a natural joy of discovery and play as their celebratory certificate. The guilt and shame, the wanting to be right, they have no place, as you simply show Mary-Louise, in living a vital life.
Living without right and wrong gives us the space to discover things for ourselves. That’s the beautiful thing with children they live without any right and wrong and just enjoy being present and playful in the moment.
Beautiful blog Mary-Louise – the body has its knowing not only about how its development unfolds but also about where we are going – back to where we came from and it responds to this universal impulse whether we like it or not. All we can do is either get in the way of this and make ourselves sick, or we can listen to the grace and intelligence of the bodily particles and go with it. It is a matter of true alignment.
” What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.” Having recently started a new exercise routine with some balance pads I have found myself gripping and contracting my body to stay on but then one day I simply let go of the need to control the situation and simply fall down. I did this a couple of times and actually really enjoyed the process and simply allowed myself to fall and I had so much fun in the process. Surrendering to the learning and exploring life is a joy and when we try to control the situation we halt our connection to our bodies and the natural flow and discoveries of life we can encounter.
Its that enthusiasm that we need to reconnect to… life is a constant learning and there is no perfection so its littered with reminders and ‘mistakes’. But when we enthusiastically get up and have another go there is such a joy to our movements, an inspiration to those around us, and one can’t help but smile as all that enthusiasm comes into the room to give it another go.
There is such a sense of simplicity and wonder when reflecting how it is as a toddler learning anything. The curiosity and willingness to explore is actually delicious. This is a sense we can re-connect to any time we choose. Anything else that has come-in to interfere with this is an imposition and mental construct – the absolute opposite to whole body intelligence.
I can feel why the statement “Listen to me” when someone is showing us something is such a turn-off to learning. Because we can feel it is being imposed with an order to over ride how we may innately feel in our bodies
All that matters is how our connection is with our body , nothing else – nope not the mind.
I love the simplicity of the truth you present – the body is wise beyond measure and to follow our bodies impulses is really as easy and simple as learning to walk.
We have made learning about getting it right and all coming up with the exact same answer (often even to the dot to be worded in the same way), instead of allowing everybody’s perception and awareness bring us the richness of the universe to all that is required here on earth.
Such a simple observation, lived with ease when we are young and don’t feel like we have to know everything already. If we can just drop our laziness and arrogance then its a natural state to come back to – a constant growth, with a few knock downs, but then getting back up a little wiser and ready to go again.
It is incredibly isolating to reduce one’s awareness of life to what one thinks and perceives through their mind alone. It is in such a reductionist way of being that we lose connection to the fact that the world can be experienced and felt and known beyond its physical appearance.
How lovely to feel, know, and trust that there is an innate process of learning that we are all on, all of humanity, and that we are returning back to our true nature.
Thank you Mary-Louise for this beautiful reminder of how supportive it is for us to connect to our body. There has been numerous times throughout my life where I am hugely appreciative of how my body has guided me to make loving choices through sending me messages in subtle and sometimes very loud ways. Listening and connecting to our body is key.
Reading this I got a different take from what you have shared ‘Many of us are like bulldogs, we do not give up and we just keep on until we have mastered it’. As sometimes instead of being about not giving up it can be how we want to control a situation and in this stubbornness we loose (well disconnect) to our innate sensitivity, overriding the lessons from life instead of learning from them.
Gorgeous to come back to this Mary-Louise and be reminded of the innate wisdom we are already connected to, and already actually respond to in some degree for example, when our bodies tell us when we need to drink water. However as you say we seem to have disregarded this intelligence as we have grown up, yet the beautiful fact is that it still remains in full communication. There is a great power that is at our fingertips to explore and engage, literally, and the more we move in connection to our bodies and in honor our of the wisdom it reveals to us, the more we will live in awe of who we are and all that we are connected to.
Beautifully said Carola, I love what you shared, very inspiring and this wisdom and power is available to us all. How amazing is that!
Entering into a walk that is going to serve our body always delivers such joy no matter what our age as walking reconfigures so much when done ” when we are connected to our bodies.”
There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop. So true Mary-Louise, how many times do we beat ourselves up for feeling ‘we got it wrong’, I did this for such a long time. Everything life presents us with is and opportunity for us to grow and evolve.
We are born with a whole body, some where along the way we have given priority to certain areas, yes they all have a job to do, but all fail or suffer when they do not work together. The Whole Body matters. The liver as much as the head, the kidneys as much as the heart, unite the body and we connect with a deeper relationship and understanding of us and life.
Whole body heath is an interesting concept… due to the fact that is considered ‘new’ or ‘strange’ or a ‘health fad’, how about as children we learn to maintain our whole body awareness, and not begin to separate ourselves into limbs and heads, stay with feeling and not just function. This is something that is gravely missing within our society and something that would a true foundation of health or all if it was utilised..
What great advice to get back to the joy of learning new things. I wonder how much school plays a part in knocking that out of us, with so much,total over kill on right and wrong and grades and competition.
Unfortunately as we get older, the bulldog euphemism applies differently, in that we often become stubborn and ingrained, and never give up on that which is clearly not working.
Simply and beautifully written Mary-Louise… and this is the message that needs to be returned to children… just like this gorgeous song of Jenny james … imagine being a kid and singing ( and feeling) this
I listen to my body it has a lot to say
It tells me how I truly feel like when to rest and play
How to eat and when to sleep how others feel to me
My body is amazing it shows me all the way
My body feels everything that I say and do
And just as much it can feel other people too
And saying everything I feel, I can just be me,
So caring for my body is where I want to be
Babies and toddlers are true role models for us to come back to our body again and experience the joy and simplicity in learning.
To live like a toddler is sometimes very challenging for the mind but is a joy for the body as to me that is its natural way of being in the world.
It is so beautiful to live life as a toddler, to live from that inner impulse that tells us that, for instance as in this blog, it is time for us to learn to walk, as a natural development we have to go and to fully adhere to that because we do know that we need this development to go to the next. That said, adhering to that inner impulse for growth and evolution is a pleasure to take as it will always bring us joy and a broadening of our understanding what life is actually about.
This blog brings such an important message about whole body intelligence. Once you have tried it there is nothing else like it. When I truly come back to being in my body I go ‘Why on earth would you want to be anywhere else’ – and yet we have been away from it so long that it is easy to slide out. In the body there is no such thing as ‘the mundane’ or ‘the boring’, which is in fact the case when the human spirit is chosen as the dominating factor. Then the spirit thinks it needs to make something ‘exciting’ in order to provide stimulation to stop feeling ordinary and mundane. Simply coming back to the body, living fully inhabiting the body is the only way out of the dilemma.
A gorgeous reminder Mary-Louise of the wisdom and intelligence our bodies hold and allowing us the space to learn something new without any pressure to getting it ‘right’.
Rereading this blog brings me back to the fact that I am all knowing.
I feel walking is so apt in what you have shared Mary-Louise from what I feel when I walk is how the past configurations are held in my body and they lose their grip on me so my walk becomes more free flowing thus I am able to release the old beliefs I have held onto.
For more on beliefs go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=IDEALS+AND+BELIEFS
It’s really fascinating when you give yourself the space to observe your body; when tension arises, what you feel about that tension, what makes the tension dissipate or what you do to make it dissipate and whether the tension has truly dissipated or just numbed/dulled. I am sitting with this at the moment having just returned from the Universal Medicine retreat. Very interesting.
Wouldn’t it be great to have the same exuberance for learning something new as we did as a toddler, and not have an ounce of feeling wrong if we do not succeed straight away.
It is amazing to feel the natural confidence and trust in adults who live like children, in the sense that they look at every task with an innocence and joy at the opportunity of learning something new, and they are not afraid of getting it wrong – they just do it regardless of the outcome.
It is wonderful to relearn the art of making mistakes and not ‘cane’ myself. Just the opportunity to try again and be surprised to learn something new.
There is a huge amount to learn from toddlers. They never do the adult thing of putting a toe in, half-heartedly doing something when their thinking about something else. They are fully present with everything they do and unless we adults make it a big thing, falling over and other learning experiences are engaged with as much dedication as everything else. When I consider it, the reflection is truly inspiring.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ What an incentive to connect.
I have felt the difficulty in truly embracing and understanding the notion of intelligence being in the body – as no amount of thinking, analysing, and considering it will ever arrive at true understanding – we must start with the body first – opening up and allowing the opportunity for the body to communicate in its own language and by its wisdom and in that we will start to truly understand what true intelligence is and the connection we hold with all.
We are so conditioned to be the ‘good’ student who doesn’t make mistakes, but this just boxes us in more and more, Lets make Whoops one of our favorite words…☺
Well said Chris – the need to be seen as ‘right’ runs deep in us and is the sure path to keep us locked up in our old patterns and behaviours.
Being pre-occupied or hard on ourself with having made a ‘wrong’ decision doesn’t help anyone! This I am appreciating more and more in my own life and seeing how it is a waste of energy to judge ourselves in this way rather than just allow ourselves to learn and grow from our ‘mistakes’.
When we realise we have made a mistake it is to be celebrated, because once recognised they provide us with the direction to U-turn out of there and get back on the right path.
“…There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop…” This is a great statement to remember considering how much in today’s society there is a lot of pressure in getting things ‘right’ or being judged as doing something ‘wrong’.
Our natural state of being is where we are meant to be, our body in harmony. Why would we ever leave that? But most of us, if not all of us, have done this at some stage in your lives. Its great to uncover the enticements that we allow and that take us way from our true self.
I love watching children when they respond with their whole body. So joyful.
A youngster would never berate them self if she/he did not get it the first, second or third or even tenth try at something new so why do we?
I love this quote, ‘the whole is greater than the sum of its parts’… it always expands the way I approach life when I consider this.
The more I respond and listen to my body the more in awe I am of its natural, innate and vast wisdom of life, relationships and our true purpose. It is like having a guide and friend that has common sense and the big picture totally ‘nailed’. It is insane not to listen.
How simple life can be when we choose to reconnect with our bodies and let go of the obstacles we create by holding on to the hurts we experience on our journey through life and creating all sort of ideals and beliefs that result in pictures that drive us further and further from the wisdom and intelligence we all equally have access to with our bodies.
That’s such a great question. I know I can sometimes approach learning something new with apprehension for fear of not getting it right away or not getting it at all and then feeling stupid and then sometimes avoiding something new altogether – giving up before I’ve even tried. Society doesn’t like to get things wrong, we’re so hard on others and ourselves, it’s no wonder we play it safe so much.
This is such a simple question to ask, there is so much complication in how I could answer that question which I guess reflects how complicated we make life. Suffice to say that there is something brilliant in the idea of persevering and learning new skills whatever our age.
There is so much wisdom in what has been shared, as toddlers we are openly connected to our body and we allow ourselves to explore the falling and getting up again, until we master whatever we are doing. We don’t get caught in our heads, there is no space for that. But when we get older the roles are reserve we get caught in our heads and have no time for our body.
There is no right or wrong in the expression of a young child – it just is .. How beautiful and necessary it is to come back to that simplicity.
I love the joyful simplicity you share here of how we are as a young child and the freedom and knowing from this that we have lost but can come back to always by our choices to reconnect to our bodies and all we are in our natural divinity and being.
‘Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.’ What is also sad is that over time, as we berate ourselves with these ‘wrong’ doings we stop even taking that first step and thus give up before we even start. We therefore miss out on the joy of learning.
I really enjoy the wonder of feeling the body–before going into any analysing, just feeling oh that’s what it feels like, cool…and keep feeling. But when I go into analysing and interpreting, I lose this connection with wonder and thinking becomes a serious matter!
I have had a glorious time learning to play the piano, making plenty of mistakes hitting the wrong notes or wrong sequences but I love every moment of it and when it all comes together it just makes my heart sing!
As babies and toddlers we are in complete connection and awareness of the intelligence of our bodies. We have no concept of the intelligence of the mind which most people at some stage come to hold as greater that the intelligence of the body.
I like what you propose Mary-Louise, to return to that same way of being how we were like a toddler, not hesitant to listen to what our body wants and needs and to fully rely on that and with that to feel through the body that connection we have with all people around and are in constant relationship with.
I love what this article has inspired me to ask of myself when I self-abuse for not getting things ‘right’… ‘Would I ever talk to a toddler like this if they were stumbling during their first steps?’ The answer is always. ‘No’, so then I get to put the voice of abuse in its place and begin to develop an understanding, respectful, patient and loving relationship with myself and therefore everyone else.
It is true that as soon as we get to be adults we seem to loose the ability to shrug things off easily without being judgmental on ourselves, and everything becomes too serious. From a lot of personal experience of being stressed when learning a new job or learning something quickly, it definitely feels horrible in the body to operate in this way.
“why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong?” It seems the joy goes when we start to see things in terms of right and wrong. This brings in separation and we loose the joy of expression.
Being wrong leaves us with no where to go except maybe right and even that does not feel true how about if life is just full of learning curves that are spherical and we just evolve from one point to the next no judgement.
Hi Gregg, indeed when we allow ourselves to use the concept of wrong, there must also be the right and when entered into that realm of life we are actually going nowhere as right or wrong do actually not exist in in the grander whole we are part of.
So true Nico, life is about truth and when everything else is considered also lies so when aligning to the truth we become open to the lies. When I was aligned to the lies I had no idea that there was a truth! The truth open up the ‘grander whole’ which we are all equally part of so we get an understanding of what life is truly about we evolve.
Whilst the body shouts the consequences of our ill choices, the wisdom of the inner heart waits to be connected with in any moment.
Gorgeous insight!
What I start to grasp is that the body is already love, that it is true and reliable in the sense that it does not lie, the only thing I have to do is to listen and respond. So simple.
Yes. When I remember this, ‘that the body is already love’, the simplicity and purpose of life is a revelation and inspiration.
I would be fair to say that the status quo of thought is that we think, then we move. However, as I discovered in sport many years ago, the body is actually able to co-ordinate itself much better when the mind is focussed and quiet and not leading the show. And so, athletes talk about being in “the zone”, which is essentially when the mind and body become focussed together, and so there is no fight from the mind to control the body. When you are in such a state, your co-ordination becomes remarkably better, and athletes will talk about how in such a state, they are able to see the ball so much better, and the body is allowed to respond to hitting shots for example that the mind could never compute of its own accord. To me this confirms that there is something very real and tangible about the concept of whole body intelligence.
What you describe is the natural knowing of our bodies which step is next while we have made life about a set of rules and stages as to what happens that we believe we have to oblige to. With that all that feels natural to us is suppressed and the stress and ‘have to’ sets in, instead of the enjoyment of the natural movement of our bodies.
The whole body intelligence is there for us all to reconnect to, it takes a lot of effort to go against it, but we can be quite fixated in that old habit or pattern. The most simple natural thing is to allow it to be and go with the flow.
It is very honouring of the body to learn with it and not against it. The body can teach us so much and it is a joy to see that in children – they allow their bodies to be their teachers. I love watching this in my infant and her constant learning.
Affording us the grace to be always learning and inviting us to embrace new ventures – this article is a humdinger – thank you.
When looking back over my life it is amazing how many time I would play the wrong card not only with my own learning’s but also when I judge others in the same way and a judgement of any kind is so much a killer of who we truly are in fact it is the number one way that we loose our connection to our inner-most.
The more I connect to my body the more that bulldog-like determination comes out. A situation may be horrible to experience but my body is willing to go there again and again until the situation is mastered. And eventually it is and feels amazing when I look back on the whole learning process to where I am now.
The joy of babies and toddlers learning and exploring their bodies is beautiful to observe, feel and is a reflection for us all. Their connection exploration and enquiry is ongoing and relentless as is their honouring of all they feel . A beautiful reminder for us all of who we are and how are body is our guide to listen to and honour.
our openness to learn from life without the need to be right or without the filters we put in our way, seem critical and more difficult as we get older
How we are with our bodies is so important. Listening to it, what the wisdom is sharing with us. But are we listening? We have to learn to listen, otherwise we tend to get the same symptoms or illnesses arise in the body, time and time again.
The joyful process of learning…..I love this reminder thank you. I recently moved into a house and was getting in a bit of pickle about something and then I stopped, and offered to myself, the grace of re-adjusting to my new home and a new way of activities around my new home. I allowed the joy of learning how to be in my new home, which was much nicer than the pickle I was getting myself into!
Allowing ourselves to learn rather than pressuring ourselves to get it ‘right’ first time can be hugely supportive for ourselves in life. This reminds me of how school tests are given to us, to breed that sense of pressure into getting things ‘right’.
‘When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it. There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ Love this simple and profound truth Mary Louise – staying with the intelligence of body is all the teaching we need.
Love it – following our bodies without question is very inspiring and I am humbled to watch my infant learning new things with her body every day – she is teaching me so much in how our bodies will always communicate to us. Even when she is not hungry she won’t eat – and how many times have I over-ridden when I am not hungry. Pretty crazy to think about it.
whenever we are not wanting to listen to our body and what it is showing us, the internal war within ourselves begins.
You never see a toddler being self critical or judgemental – two great barriers to joy-ful learning that many of us adults have picked up along the way.
I know, you do not see a toddler saying to himself ‘naughty boy, you fell over just then’ as he explores walking.
The shame of disconnection and given disconnection comes as we get older and give up on ourselves due to the hurts we encounter as we experience more of life. For some of us that is just a part of our return to truly loving ourselves.
There is described here a certain kind of freedom that seems to come only with childhood. I wonder why it is only reserved for those relatively few years, when we then have a lifetime of adulthood to endure without that kind of joy and freedom? Why would anyone choose that and why is it the expected norm?
“So what changes? How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers?What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong. Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.”
It’s so true, we often forget the joy of learning, simply because it all becomes about achieving. It’s crucial that we keep allowing people to experiment and grow and change as needed. There is no need to get it right every time as long as no intention to sabotage self or another exists.
There has been a long held assumption that our bodies have no intelligence and are merely a servant of our brains, but if we consider the world of energy and that we are recipients not the originator of energy or consciousness passing through us, which is what actually provides the intelligence we have access to, then this changes the ball game as to where we actually get our intelligence from and the importance of the body in this process.
As adults we certainly do give ourselves a hard time when it comes to learning something new, and yet we all know that to master something takes practice, but we still pressurize ourselves and at times put unrealistic expectations on ourselves – we could learn a lot from studying toddlers.
It is amazing isn’t it that we know the saying, ‘practise makes perfect’, inside out and back to front, but do not afford ourselves the grace of it in the way we treat ourselves when we are learning.
Thank you Mary-Louise, the whole attitude of right and wrong surely gets in the way of the joy of learning. The idea we have to get it right (especially straight away) also gets in the way of what there is to be learnt and appreciated at each step. The irony is as soon as I take pressure off myself I achieve whatever I am working on in a much easier way. Right and wrong is very outcome based instead of enjoying what is unfolding at each step of the way.
I agree with you Melinda when we take the pressure off ourselves to be right or wrong there is an opportunity to actually enjoy what is going on. We have become so outcome based that all the enjoyment has gone from what we do and has been replaced by time management procedures and there is no joy in this.
I feel I have the tenacity of a bulldog at times when it comes to letting go of the all my ideals and beliefs and as so much of what I have let go of in the past has been evolving in the most glorious way I can’t wait for the rest to go.
I love this metaphor of the toddler stopping to pick itself up and trying all over again, because it would seem that as adults we forget to use our whole body intelligence and lead with the beliefs and ideals of the mind most of the time.
“why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong?” – All too often I take the ‘mistakes’ that I make personally rather than seeing them as the learning that they are and having fun with it…If I could just see it as an oops and then move on then life would be so much simpler. After all, it is never about perfection, as it is about us living to the best of our ability in a non-perfect world with many challenges and so it is for us to learn from our so called mistakes which really are just ‘learnings’.
What we view as mistakes are an opportunity to learn,we can free ourselves from the picture that we fail when we do not get things ‘right’.
‘Right’ and ‘wrong’ are but opposites of the one and the same energy we use to offset what is true. A young child has not yet decided the degree to which they will let themselves shine, or not, and so there exists no filter through which to view the world and thus moderate their behaviour.
Confidence is established through our connection with our bodies.
Some colleagues and I talked about this very topic today at work and said why is it we expect to walk into a new workplace and ‘get it’ straight away? This leads us to anxiousness and stress. If we give ourselves permission to fall over and then get up again without berating ourselves, we would ‘get it’ much sooner.
If I stop to listen to my body it knows exactly what to do and knows exactly what it needs. Knowing this it seems cray to try to live life any other way.
Beautifully simple yet profound. The internal critic has a lot to answer for when it comes to killing the joy of learning new tasks. Far lovelier to simply bounce back up and try again.
We are so much given with our bodies and we do marvel at them how they work but we do not really cherish them for what they are. It so easy to take our own body as the study object and observe it closely as we are always in them and with them.
When we dont interfear with a childs connection to themselves they know innately much that we as adults have walked away from – it is our responsability to reconnect to the fact that within us is an intelligence that may not look like or meet our expectations and picutres of intelligence, but one that is all encompassing of life.
I love this invitation to embrace ‘new ventures’, dispensing with a rigid adherence to needing to get things right, and being open to loving ourselves as we learn.
I really appreciate how much I can feel and read situations now that I am more present with my body and also loving my body. Our bodies communicate so much when we are honouring it and is well worth the effort to do so….
Re-connecting to the body and re-developing that relationship of curiousity and simplicity is such a wonderous thing. So much to be appreciated and confirmed rather than merely viewing our bodies in terms of functioning or not functioning.
The mind is a great and very handy tool, but the major things we learn in life come from the body’s intelligence. Children are such an inspiration with how they live. I love the way they just roll around on the floor when they want to! I remember the freedom of bouncing on my parent’s bed and rolling in the grass and down sand dunes.
Love this Mary-Louise, how limitless is our potential when we listen to our bodies. By example our young reflect a body that is unhindered by do’s & don’ts; expectations and pictures, simply responding with a full bodied will to learn & explore.
So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk. From listening to our body we can open up a whole new world and way of living that truly resonates with our body honouring all we feel and know and this is indeed a gift for all.
“How do we know as a toddler how to and when we are ready to walk?” thats a great question, for me I get the sense its about the fact we listen to our body it guides us and we feel the impulse to explore moving. Each at our own pace and speed depending on what is needed. No pressure no thinking. If i apply this to my adult life the first thing I feel is just how simple things would be.
Listening to the body is a gift. And yet I have spent a long time ignoring it. But what I am finding more and more is just how vocal my body is and supports me to keep choosing more loving actions towards it. the body can never lie – and just as a baby if we get our heads out the way we will know exactly what it is saying.
Watching children grow and develop is nothing short of a miracle.
This is why when we reconnect with our bodies we feel so much joy… we reconnect to the innocence and wonder we had as children. This is not because these qualities are there just because we were children; the qualities of wonder, innocence and joy are akin to being fully with and in our bodies and in surrender to its grand intelligence.
This blog reminds me how much we learn through reflection, not only as a child learning from others that walk but as an adult learning from a child’s natural tenacity. If we are born naturally confident and willing to give things a go it stands to reason that this way is actually natural for us.
“We keep listening to our body and follow without questioning, with loads of enthusiasm and committed to the whole process. ”
This reminds me of how as a toddler we do not give up, but reconnect consistently with our bodies and how we can remember us as adults to do the same again.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” Great line here Mary-Louise, there is always a lot of right and wrong that we live by when we are not in our bodies, it is such an easy choice to dismiss what it is telling us, always lovingly so.
Few years ago, when someone told me to come back to the body, to speak and to come from there, i found it incredibly difficult, rather odd of them to be saying such a thing because as far as i thought, i was coming from my body because i was doing the talking ; ) .. however i gradually realised that coming from the body means loosing the heady mind that in its race and rush, overtakes the stillness [harmony] of the body to come across as sounding tinny, cool, rash. And back then in my life of stress and speed this was exactly how i spoke animatedly. The more i realised the difference in the two, feeling the unique difference in quality where coming from the body which feels deep, solid, warm, words resonating inside your heart/chest area to have a healing effect on a person [and yourself], versus the tinny sound that often left me spacey and heady, there was no difference in where the intelligence lay – in the body, and in a fully connected one.
“Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.” – and this is a harshness that we hold over ourselves, that we would never hold over someone else.
So true Sandra, i have recognised that when wrong becomes our default mode, self-appreciation is less abundant and consequently its harder to see the gold in others.
I am a remedial massage therapist, and often I talk to clients about walking from the whole body. Often there is part of the body that moves forward first, I mean energetically, be it a protective shoulder or a busy mind, however when we surrender more to how we feel and become are of our whole body, it all walks equally. It is really incredible how this feels different to be with all of ourselves when we walk.
Returning to the simplicity of life as it is as a small child is an amazing and very true feeling which we all deserve to live and celebrate.
I can feel that joy of a child in my body, something to be appreciated even though I am substantially older! The joy for me is still the same, the wonder, the sense of adventure in these simple discoveries. Trouble is I get pulled into more complicated adventures which often override the simple conversations. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to remember this feeling and fresh choice to give it a louder voice through a deeper appreciation of its presence!
Being right or wrong sets us up for all types of judgments or comparison that causes emend harm to ourselves and others.
When I watch babies develop from newborn for a couple of years, their development is remarkable. They feel into their bodies at all the different stages, the reflexes change and their tone respond naturally to gravity as they grow. This tends to change when they feel conscious of being observed or adapting their growth for others. When my granddaughter was three, she skipped and danced with arms and legs joyfully moving in unison. By the time she was four, she had learnt some dance steps from a TV movie and her spontaneity had changed. Returning to my true expression, I am returning to skipping and dancing without any attachment to others judging me.
What you share here Gill is a great awareness to have “she had learnt some dance steps from a TV movie and her spontaneity had changed”. This is the start of letting go of our innate connection to who we truly are with-in. Then we can spend our entire lives wondering why we feel a little or lot lost.
I’m loving learning again with letting go of the right and wrong. Sure the stakes might be a bit higher these days, but if my intention is true then it is all simply learning so there is no lingering consequence unless right and wrong are chosen as a measure of success.
Wisdom or intelligence is often something that is referred to as seemingly coming just from the mind but what if there is an intelligence within the innermost of our whole body that is in harmony with everything and can impulse us, our thoughts to know how to approach and live life in a way that is beneficial for us all…
This is a ‘what if’ I am definitely up for exploring, if not simply on the basis of knowing that our current adherence to intelligence being something of the mind, has got us into a big mess.
Children can teach us many things; they can be so graceful and accepting in their learning, seeing more the joy in discovery. How often do we adults give ourselves a hard time unnecessarily and miss the joy?
We do confound true learning by heaping upon ourselves critique, judgement, the iron rod of perfectionism – so that we are guaranteed failure and reinforcement of inadequacy, and we allow others to reinforce this, just as we may impose this on others also. This just begets further disconnection as we seek more fervently outside of ourselves to get things right.. but what if true learning begins with reconnecting to what is within and allowing this to guide our way. If true learning occurs in a moment of space, then what if we allowed greater space in our days and greater presence to live in that space, and what if in that space we discovered a treasure and intelligence far greater than anything we had remembering knowing before – opening up a life of richness we had possibly only faintly glimpsed or fleetingly felt before but now reveals a path of deeper never ending re-discovery of the truth. That is true learning.
What is fascinating is understanding that the body sends us messages constantly regarding life. We seem to get some (e.g., time to start walking) but not others (e.g., this way of living is killing me). The difference is that as we start investing in life to be in a specific way that suits us, the body ceases to be our main concern. Since then, it has to fit the picture and has to accommodate both what we have chosen life to be and us in it.
I am a remedial massage therapist and often people come in with neck an shoulder aches…this is one example of the many ways that contort our bodies because of how we feel / emotionally and the energy we choose…so largely it means that their posture is head thrust forward and shoulder hunched, it is a sort of momentum that we put ourselves in that if built up hurts. I talk about posture and moving from an open chest with the whole body, not the head leading….becoming more acquainted wth the whole body and how we use it, everything can change, how we perceive life and how we feel…it is huge…
“We keep listening to our body and follow without questioning, with loads of enthusiasm and committed to the whole process.” Who ever said now that you’re a grown up you can stop listening to your body? It pays to keep that connection strong and true. Life takes on a deeper quality of expression as we are in communion with ourselves.
Being a true student in life, we embrace every step we take in life. We move in honor of our choices and we stand by them. When we have made an unwise choice, we nominate it and accept it or better yet love it, as a part of our learning process. When we have made a wise choice, we also nominate it and appreciate ourselves to have this as a part of our learning process. From time to time, we take stock and look at how far we have come, as well as how much we can still go. There is no right and wrong in life, there is only a return back to love and the forever deepening process of it.
I am learning that I am allowed to take my time (in fact space) to learn. That there’s never a need for a rush or a drive. That the only one who’s pushing is me. There’s no need. When I take the opportunity to feel into life and allow space and support to learn whatever there’s to learn, I’m provided with everything I need. Lovingly so. Enormously loving. Learning is indeed a joy. And a forever continuing process.
As you say, Mary-Louise, whole body intelligence is always there, we just need to come back to our ‘natural state of being’ and live from the body as we did when we were children. But we get caught up in what is normal in the adult world, judging others as right or wrong, good or bad, and so we are afraid of other people’s judgement and we lose our joyous spontaneity. It has just got covered over and, as soon as we let go of what’s clouding it, our sun can shine again.
If it is true that our body holds our true intelligence, then how lost are we when we get caught up in the mental world of academia, the distractions of devices and entertainment, and the numbing effects of junk food, alcohol, drugs and stimulants. our body is our greatest ally and friend – we just have to allow the connection.
Learning to understand the vast intelligence of our bodies is truly humbling.
I totally agree Eva. The more I listen to my body the more wisdom is revealed. It is through the body we can access the intelligence of the universe.
So just how much are we holding back from the steps that we can feel in our bodies that we are being impulsed to take?
The body always tells us when we are ready for our next step.
Being open to learning from our body and what it communicates with us can be one of the greatest supports in life; it offers a method of getting to the truth of anything that comes up or unsurety we experience, because our body is so sensitive to how we hold ourselves so reacts even if we’re just considering something stressful etc.
‘How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers? What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong’ this question is paramount – to look at the how, the why, and the when for each of us.
‘I am enough’ has been an appreciation I have battled with after a lifetime of failing to meet my own expectations of myself. We set ourselves up with negative messages instead of appreciating who we truly are.Letting go of right and wrong has gone a long way to supporting a turnaround in this regard.
“So what changes? How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers? What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong. Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.”
I was pondering on this statement. There are so many ideals and beliefs and expectations, imaginations and pictures we have collected as adults and now are emprisoned by them. There is no more place for joy and the joy of discovering new ways of being and dealing with situations.
The only way to reconnect to our true nature is reconnecting with our body.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop” – yes, only in the mind is there rightness or wrongness as within the body it is harmony or disharmony that is only ever communicated.
What we all bring when we are simply ourselves is unique and not something to be dismissed.
And it’s very beholding not only of ourselves but of all others – who we truly are.
Indeed, when we start to accept that we are part of a bigger picture, we learn to understand that every step towards our true selves serves everyone else equally.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ this is a great point of truth to keep at the fore of our minds.
Every moment is an opportunity and it’s very refreshing to see all moments in life like this. Thanks to Serge and Universal Medicine my perception and understanding of life and what we are offered in each moment has completely changed. Now I can feel that there is no right or wrong but what feels true and belongs with our innateness and what does not – and the path and moments that are offered to us to see and feel this.
This presents such a fresh way to approach each day.
The way we are with our bodies is so important. If for example we are dishonouring of our body then we are preventing for ourselves the loving wisdom that can be felt through the body, in other words we are preventing access to divine intelligence.
It’s through loving choices that we can build a relationship with our body that allows us to feel the Gracious, warm, loving and divine being we are. I’ve experienced how the lovely moments are followed by an offering to deepen the relationship with myself. If we choose to deny or ignore this, we’re blocking our natural flow. Until we choose to feel again.
It is such a shame we lose this no right or wrong attitude to learning, as we do learn from our mistakes. Therefore mistakes must be good. If we were taught by our parents and in schools to bring it back to the body or stay with the body instead of it being all about the mind we wouldn’t lose it and there would then be no bounds to the intelligence on offer.
If you consider the simple bee, whose brain is the size of a grain of sand, and then you consider its amazing navigational ability and ability to communicate the exact location of a flower back to the hive, taking into account as it does the changing angle of the sun, then you have to sit back and really consider – what exactly is intelligence, and is it limited to what we consider to be an aspect of the mind alone?
Great example Adam. I would say that the mind is more like a prison for most rather than the tool of understanding great universal knowledge and wisdom for all. How many of us get so caught up in life that we try to plan life to fit a certain picture or idea from our heads instead of simply enjoying the flow of naturally living from our bodies?
In this blog, as you describe the way a child persists at learning to walk, I am struck by how this comes from within us, as if we are, at such a young and tender age, actually already and innately parenting ourselves.
‘Coming back to whole body intelligence’= Coming back to the intelligence of God.
This is a great example of the intelligence held in our bodies because it requires no mental activity, just a connection with the body. If we as adults have to work everything out mentally we are missing out on tapping into the vast intelligence of our bodies. Good one Mary-Louise.
The more I respect and honour my body, the more tender and understanding I am able to be with myself, as I open myself up to be a learner rather than thinking I have to be someone who appears to have it all sorted.
There’s no rush, no push, no stress, no expectations, no fear etc when I choose to simply choose connection with my body. Yes, there might be these emotions, but I can clearly observe them when I am with my body. As the love and stillness is so strong, that I can’t deny that this is me. Each moment that I choose to surrender I do feel the intelligence of the body. Silent, but so super lovingly intelligent. Wow.
I looove this! How you viewed toddlers enthusiasms in learning something new – off ‘cos they are totally joyful in it and go on till…. No in fact they go on and on and on. Till they become teenagers and at once we are often not so enthusiastic anymore if it is to learn something new. And especially we are no longer totally pulled to expand our possibilities. Or are we still pulled but have learnt methods and technics which ‘allow’ us to not feel this pull anymore? Since I study with Universal Medicine I made many choices back to my awareness – and here I did find the pull to expand again. Natural and strong. And when I chose to surrender to this pull, I feel a joy and zest for life which reminds me of the toddlers playfulness.
Thank you Mary-Louise the connection to body as a child does without judgement or critique is a great reminder of the joy that can be had even in learning the toughest lessons in life.
There are clearly two forms of intelligence which give us how we use our body, one that is love and is constantly evolving, and one that is anything but that love, which requires constant effort to be sustained, otherwise there is an immediate spring back effect.
“We keep listening to our body and follow without questioning, with loads of enthusiasm and committed to the whole process.” How different our lives would be if we continued to listen to our bodies in this way as we grew up? But it is never too late to start again, regardless of our age. Listening to our bodies and what they have to say, and then actually responding to what is being asked is probably one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves, as the response from our body can often be nothing short of miraculous.
‘Could it be that we are connected with our body and we get the wisdom/intelligence from our body that sends us the message to begin the process, and so we do.’ I would say a resounding yes to this question and as you share Mary-Louise toddlers are a leading light in reminding us of this truth.
Coming back to whole body intelligence means coming home to ourselves in a way that championing the intelligence of the mind alone never ever will.
When we allow ourselves to learn and keep to our own rhythm then we are able to evolve and expand to where we are naturally designed to be, no control or pictures simply an allowing to let life unfold and for it to come to you. When we understand this, life becomes very simply, yet we can be so attached to the complicated life we have created instead.
There is something else for us to learn here as well. If a child touches something hot and burns itself, then it will more than likely not do it again. They learn from their mistakes. And yet I often make the same “mistakes” over and over – stubbornly refusing to change my ways because of my investments in life or the images that I hold of how things should be.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” It’s taken 10 years of study with Universal Medicine to get back to this truth, to know that making a mistake is not a terrible thing, there is no need to crumple myself up, just tenderly observe my choices and resolve to learn by it.
What a revelation to discover the body is the font of wisdom and all learning, and trillions of particles connect us to universal intelligence too when we connect, feel and listen to the body shown the way forward.
We tell ourselves that we’re teaching children and yet in truth, they are the masters reflecting a truer way to be to us.
Already the first lines, where you are sharing about our innate knowing of what is needed to do or of what we are capable to learn and master, in this case walking, without any teacher is bringing me back to an absolute knowing, which is divine and brings me into a diivine rythm with myself.
The toddler knows about true rythm, so why should I do not know as an adult anymore?
Universal Medicine is presenting everything and confirms us in our inner knowing and brings us back to our innate divine rythm.
Children are awesome at reflecting for us how we too used to approach new things, in that natural innocence and wonder, it’s only when we start to get older that we feel the pressure to be and do things in a certain way that we eventually abandon any of that natural curiosity and make ourselves into an unfeeling and serious version of ourselves.
The problem with our seemingly brilliant ‘solutions’ and ‘advances’ in life and society is that they don’t come from the whole, and thus don’t develop the whole.
Or, instead of being a bulldog and trying to get it right! Could we just be frustrated in re-learning to walk in a new small body?
The offering here is so important and to be truly appreciated. Bringing the wonder out that is trapped in our bodies allows for any learning opportunity to flow through our bodies without resistance. There is no barrier of right, wrong, perfection or failure, it simply and like magic happens without tension of thought making the body tense.
Beautiful Mary-Louise, what I appreciate from reading this is the way we can bring the quality of the ‘bulldog’ you describe, to our development and quality in life. No matter what issue or difficulty might come up that seems like it would stop us in our steps, we can walk on, and forge ahead, simply saying ‘ok issue, I’m going forward towards truth, stillness, and Love, see if you are able to keep up’.
When I get really busy and have ‘deadlines’ happening I get tempted to forgo whole body intelligence, almost as if I am trying to ‘steal’ time by leaving the body and accomplishing all I have to do in some ‘realm’ outside of life , that won’t ‘take up time’. But this is such a myth. This is the very time to stay in the body and align ever more deeply.
I love this exposure of the belief that we can ‘escape’ or trick time by pushing forward in disconnect from our bodies… put like this it is obvious that it makes no sense, short or long term.
As it is with a toddler who has to learn to crawl before they can walk, the body needs a strength, mechanical balance and rhythm to initiate walking. I feel as my body intelligence increases it is part of my rhythm to relearn how to walk again along with many other multifaceted patterns that need re-imprinting as I re-establish my connection to my divine aspect.
I understand this Greg. Lately, I’ve found myself re-learning how to walk.
As a student I am always feeling what my walk feels like so that the foundation, which has supported me remain as those baby steps, so that I am able to expand what is already there. Yesterday I found that as I walked I was opened up to a greater level of awareness of the stillness I was walking in it felt very empowering, so thank you Kehinde, I can feel how your appreciation has had a flow on effect as I opened up to share my day.
Many of us have talents and skills that we dismiss because ‘It’s just what I do’ and then we think we are stupid because we can’t do something another can do. This is crazy – we are all different in what we can do, that’s what makes us part of a whole.
So true Carmel, we all are one with unique expressions. Instead of appreciating what we have been blessed with to serve humanity, we have jealousy and envy present to focus on others and detract from ourselves.
I love the simplicity and power of what very small children constantly teach us. It’s really quite something that we then think we have to ‘teach’ them knowledge and forgoe the wisdom that lies within.
When we come from our body we know exactly how to be as our body has all the intelligence, as its particles are made from divinity.
It is crazy how a lot of people live with the feeling of being ‘wrong’ all their lives based on old hurts and a feeling of failure. We need to understand that there is no such thing as failure only yet another opportunity for learning.
Imagine how quickly we would evolve if we embraced our ‘mistakes’ and learnt from them, moving forward with self-forgiveness, humility and appreciation. As I write this, I can feel a lightness in my body when I accept this – it shows me what a weight and tension I am still carrying from all those ‘mistakes’ and ‘wrongs’.
Sadly many adults avoid alltogether doing things they are not already good at.
After having done a singing workshop with Chris James recently I got to feel what it is like to communicate from my body in a sustained way for a day, rather than simply from my head. It was a pretty profound experience as the whole quality of my voice and expression changed. There was no tension or holding, I could feel a vibration throughout my whole body, my voice had a deeper, richer quality to it, there was no rush and what came out of my mouth was simple, economical and to the point! Coming from my body too I could feel a much deeper appreciation of myself and everyone around me.
I can feel the joy and innocence when I allow myself to play and ‘try’ something new. It feels spacious and lovely within my body. There is no wrong or right, in fact not even a goal. It is just an expression. And mastering a ‘new’ expression is nothing more than learning to be with myself within what I’m doing / expressing. Thank you for the delicateness and preciousness of this observation in a toddler. I am re-connecting to myself as a child by expressing the above and connecting to the above process.
Being right or achieving outcomes seems to become more important in life than the opportunity of learning itself when life on earth is in itself all about learning.
The joy of learning. I am so hard on myself and so often expect myself to be brilliant at things, to have mastered them immediately…I have lots to learn from toddlers – that total lack of self-judgement and simple, joyful embracing of getting up and going again.
I agree Otto – it is something very humbling about observing the delightful joy and corageous continuation of a toddler learning to walk.
And we would never berate a toddler for not getting it right first time, so why are we hard on ourselves. For me I have seen that it is actually a clever trick of the spirit that keeps me less. Appreciation is one of the foundations and springboards of evolution.
Me too Ariana. All my life my body was just a machine that got me from A to B and did what I needed it to do. It’s a joy to be re-connecting to my body which, if I listen, can be my greatest teacher. There is still plenty of naughty school boy in me that refuses to hear what is being said and my body still has to ‘tell me off’ sometimes!
And actually one of the best ways to re-connect to God is to go back to something as simple, basic and instinctive as walking.
So true. And in so many many way we have to learn to walk again – to walk in unity, in harmony, in love, in truth, in joy.
Great call. Remembering simplicity and its immense power by choosing to pay attention when we are doing something really simple.
Yes Matilda and Otto. And consciously bring all our value and essence to those movements.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ This is such a big thing to accept when we are all brought up with right and wrong and punishment and guilt. Our whole lives are part of a cycle of learning, we simply re-live situations over and over until we learn, there is no punishment, only opportunity. It is an amazingly different approach from how so many of us have been brought up.
Right and wrong according to who? Right and wrong change from person to person, family to family, culture to culture, country to country and potentially planet to planet. The only thing that remains constant throughout all of those places is truth. And when you place truth next to right and wrong it shows them up to be the charlatans that they are.
“Coming back to my body” over the years – meant i came back to my true self from prior living away from my body and in the whirring of my mind, like a ‘talking head’, where i stayed (feeling) disconnected and isolated, not to mention the excruciating crick necks i used to suffer.
The whole process of learn, explore and develop without failure or regret is something that inspires me greatly when I see children growing up, learning to crawl, walk and express.
The age of the driverless car is a reality that is approaching us rapidly. But, have not had them years ago when we disconnect and go into our heads when driving? How many time have you driven someplace and don’t remember the journey? When we reconnect to ourselves everything we do is a new journey!
It is in our body that we hold true intelligence, and it is so showing how we discard this when we get older. We deny this wisdom and choose mental intelligence as the way we protect ourselves in this world. Becoming extremely judgemental of our performance and the way we learn. It is our choice to reconnect to the body, and discover the enormous joy that is in learning new things.
This is such brilliant and beautiful observation Mary-Louise: ‘We keep listening to our body and follow without questioning, with loads of enthusiasm and committed to the whole process. And bingo! … before we know it we are walking.’ I have had this very experience lately. I had been ‘wondering’ about a course I was putting on for the public and not sure where to go with it. Then I forgot about it and one day I was preparing tutorials for a student and while writing I suddenly completely had the course there – it just landed in my lap. Just what you have described.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”
This sentence contains the pure foundation and truth about life. Our body contains the magic of God and of course we’re to use our brains, but not from separation to the body. Because only when the two are in union we’re in union with both God and ourselves (our Soul). Only when we’re connected. So this is why the above revelation is to be read a thousand times if not thousands of times more, until we render the separate spirit naught.
“How do we know as a toddler how to and when we are ready to walk?” There must be a blueprint in our bodies, an intelligence that knows how to learn to walk as well as there is a blue print for all parts of life. It is the education we get that often makes it seems we don’t know how to do things but we do, yes it is still important to learn things like me as a dental student I am studying my theory and doing my practice hours but there is an innate knowing of how to do it. It is a matter of knowing it is there and connecting to the body.
Whole body intelligence is the ability to move one part of the body without losing the integrity of any other part and thus the whole it is a part of. It is knowing how to be consciously present in all that we do, say, think etc. so that our mind does not get a-head of our body and thus lead us astray and therefore at the whim of a lesser ‘mind only’ intelligence that not only inhibits access to the greater universal ‘whole body’ intelligence we belong to, it also won’t let us know about the ‘amputation’ it has performed.
Learning and beginning a new is so important, otherwise we tend to bring in stuff from our past. Starting a garden with lots of old weeds is challenging and hard work and with a new relationship, starting a new job or any thing really, it is so common to carry all our baggage, our issues and hurts from the past and lace the current moment with them rather than give it the opportunity to grow without the weeds thwarting their growth. Its important to do our own weeding and let go of patterns, behaviours and old baggage that is not needed, perhaps it is just a story we have been carrying for way to long that we may have even used to be identified by.
Re-reading this article an understanding came to me how a young child learning to walk Is not THINKING or directing from the head about his/her body at all; thoughts may arise as the body moves, but the body isn’t directed by instruction from the head. As we grow older we try to make the body do things from ideals and beliefs about how we should be and what we want, and we tell it to behave in a certain way, then when it gives up we worry about it and blame it for giving us pain. It is we who have given it the pain through the abuse we inflict on it in so many different ways, and by not listening to its wise messages. To return to that beautiful untrammelled movement of the child, we have to return to our true essence, connecting with the love within and the love we are, and then the body begins to move more fluently and coherently as one organism.
To reconnect with this innate ‘joyful learning process’ is a wonderful thing. In my experience it adds a new dimension to life that enriches every day. When we make life about learning and evolving, every day is an opportunity and not some mundane event. Asking ourselves ‘what can I learn or how can I evolve today?’ is a blessing that touches not only our own lives but the lives of others too. It adds true purpose to life that is essential for our wellbeing.
“Many of us are like bulldogs, we do not give up and we just keep on until we have mastered it.” We have such a natural and powerful tenacity that seems to get a bit dented and suppressed as we grow up. How glorious to meet Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and be empowered to re-discover the tenacity that is still there inside us, waiting to be re-connected to and expressed once more, returning us to the joy of learning, commitment and evolution again with the same innocent delight we had as toddlers.
I have just re watched Serge Benhayon.TV it’s the interview about whole body intelligence and it is fascinating to watch and to listen too. I’m sure most of us never consider our bodies, like really consider them. We seem to just move around in it and use it like a rubbish bin, putting all sorts of foods, liquids and drugs into it, and then wonder why it breaks down and even when it breaks down we think it’s un fair and expect to take what ever medication the Doctors give us and carry on just the same. There is no consideration that our bodies carry an intelligence far greater than any of our universities and as such it should be treated with reverence and respect at the very least.
Powerful reminder of how natural we start out, ready to get going and take the next steps in the world, “We start by standing and we may fall down, and up we go, then we fall again and again, always giving it another go.” This relates to everywhere in our lives, like not seeing it as wrong when another doesn’t want to hear what you have to say.
Very young children first have to develop the strength in their body to sit up unaided, then to move on all fours, then to stand up supported by something or someone they are holding on to before they take their first steps. It is a gentle process that has a necessary progression before they can walk beside you having taken numerous tumbles and bumps along the way. There is always someone there to inspire us to take the next step. It is the same for us as we evolve back to the beauty of the Divine beings we are and we appreciate those who inspire us to take the next step with no judgement or expected perfection.
Absolute Gold Mary-Louise. When we approach life as students we become masters.
The fact that I can do this is because of the relationship I am developing with my body and allowing its wisdom to inform my movements more than before
I used to get very frustrated when working on my laptop and I didn’t know how to do what I wanted to do and often gave up. Now I am able to bring a more steady approach and even a chikdlike curiosity at times that really supports my relationship with this medium and my enjoyment of the work there is to do.
Learning new things can be an attitude of mind rather than of age – I love learning, always have. I don’t have a particularly good memory, never have, so I forget a lot, but what I feel in my body I remember. Being open to change as a result of learning is important, we choose to be stuck in our ways, it’s not a fact of life.
“So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk.” I agree coming back to our natural state of being and from their enjoy our new ventures which will allow us to explore.
Correct we have access to great wisdom through our bodies. Every-thing we need to know can be accessed through our body.
Watching children learn to walk is so amazing, seeing how they keep going, feeling what to do, observing how its done but learning their own way to get up, to stand and to move. It not only shows the power of reflection but also highlights the importance of what if we continued to live life this throughout our life? There would be far more love and appreciation within us and therefore between us.
How do I know how to live my life when I am young? How do I know that crying is a way to communicate that I need sleep, a cuddle, milk etc.? How loving would it be if we’re able to communicate what we need as adults? We’ve already learnt to communicate with words, so why we’re making it so difficult to openly express this? Why not choosing to be raw, real and fragile. Vulnerable at times. Only when we do open our hearts and live from the impulses inside we’ll come back to the only true intelligence that we have, the intelligence from our body.
It is interesting that when we get older we no longer seem to give ourselves the permission to make mistakes and see not being able to do something first time as a failure, or a judgement on ourselves. This can only be that when we choose to use our mind instead of our whole body intelligence, there is a shift and a hardness to our movements which does not feel joyful or easy, and takes the fun out of things.
How ignorant are we to look down on those cultures that can’t read or write, completely missing the fact that they have access to all the knowledge in the world through their bodies.
I love the listening to our bodies without questioning. Herein lies true confidence, a natural connection with ourselves.
We go into right and wrong because this is what the education system teaches. It doesn’t cater for or allow the space for children to explore and truly learn. The focus is on reciting which shuts down the child and does not allow them to recognise what they do know and allow this out. It is more about telling them information and getting them to relay this and this is measured by being either right or wrong.
It is a practice to bring the mind back from judging the ills of the body and allowing the observation, acceptance and constant communication to inform our choices rather than the solutions of the mind.
Having a whole body intelligence means we have to be and feel connected to it, and not just operate from the head only,
Thanks, Mary-Louise. We cannot go wrong if we continually refer back to the body for the truth about how to live and move.
Much appreciation here for this blog and all other reminders to connect with our bodies.
The innocence and joy of a child learning how to walk is so beautiful to witness. What has been an even greater miracle is returning to this innocence and joy within me as an adult, thanks to the healing work of Serge Benhayon. It is a quality that never leaves us, just gets buried under a great deal of false expectations.
Mary-Louise, what you are sharing is very simple and yet very profound, i see in children the joy of walking or running, hopping or skipping, just being in their bodies is joyful. I notice with myself and other adults that there is often not this lightness and joy of simply being in our bodies, there seems to be a heaviness, more of a stomping than a light, joyful walk, for myself I have been very aware of this recently as my legs have felt very heavy and tired and so I feel that this is making me more aware of how I am moving and so rather than dragging myself along I am working on not rushing and pushing myself but staying present in my body and feeling how my legs would naturally like to move.
What I love to see with children at this age is that when they are just giving it all there all and learning along the way they are 100% consciously present. They are full involved in what they are doing and their mind is no where else. This for me is great reflection, to always be consciously present in what I am doing and have fun through the process.
I am just appreciating and observing just how much our body communicates with us and just love to take care of my body. I so enjoy taking it for a walk every day in the fresh air surrounded with all the open space at the harbour.
“When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it” – when we’re toddlers, everything is about the/our little body, from there life is everything, and we feel everything from this place. I recall being very at-one with myself and would have silent ‘grown-up’ conversation with myself about the skies, the stars, what i saw…felt…i never expressed this ‘knowingness’ and it remained an internal one-way dialogue, passed by/over into adult years.. until i came to Universal Medicine where everything re-ignited.
The judgement I have learnt, which can override my body intelligence is a killer and I can feel that it definitely keeps me away from my body intelligence. So how do we learn to judge ourselves and others? Could it be by putting a focus on right or wrong rather than what is true takes us away from our-self? Knowing that when we go into comparison of something being good or right is the start of being set free. Then our whole body can start to understand it is body intelligence that will bring us back to truth and the truth shall set us free from the trappings that keep us away from body intelligence.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” The beauty and simplicity you share Mary-Louise allows the flow and joy of life we come from to be reconnected to again beautifully.
A quote from W.C. Fields a gruff actor of the early 20th century was ‘If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.’ Are we as adults falling at the first hurdle? As you have said Mary-Louise when we are in our natural state of being everything is a new adventure.
We have a lot to learn from babies and toddlers. They may be small, as yet uncoordinated with physical movements of their little bodies and needy of our support and protection for a while, but they are just as present and aware as the rest of us. And what is more their yet unadulterated ability to be totally present and throw their all into whatever they are engaged with is a wonderful reminder of the watered down life we tend to settle for.
Re-learning a whole body intelligence has been, for myself and many people that I speak with, a process of un-learning much of what has taken place throughout our lives. It is a process of unpicking, untying, unknotting, and unravelling all that we have accumulated which is not true to who we are. And, the more we discover what is hidden under all those heavy layers the more inspired we are to carry on and to find out more. It is the most beautiful process of unfoldment and return.
There’s in truth a true joy in learning something new. Although I’ve got to be honest that I’m only recently learning and giving myself the gracious space to love to learn again. Away from perfectionism. The hardness that I’ve chosen for a long time made me drive myself over and over again to be ‘mister perfect’. Even though it never gave me that what I was (and am) longing for: L O V E. But if I listen to my body, it responds with everything it has to any loving choice that I am making. No matter how much I’ve mastered it or not. As long as it’s true, coming from whole body intelligence. Nothing smarter than the simplicity of my body’s messages.
Our bodies know so much including our potential if we can just surrender the mind enough to follow the body there is a whole universe of options waiting for us.
I love this line, Mary-Louise – “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” When there is no right or wrong we can accept ourselves as the forever student.
I agree there is always an opportunity to learn which is one of many reasons why there is no right and wrong in that if you do something “wrong” and learn and develop from that maybe it was exactly what was needed.
There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop. This is something that I am coming to accept more and more as I choose to connect to my grace and allow my body to guide me.
You can get such a sense of a childs commitment as you watch them learn and grow, no different to adults really.
It always did amuse me when parents would worry that their 2 year old isn’t walking or 3 year old isn’t talking… like how many 40 year olds do you see crawling to work? We all know it, and we will all put in to practice when we are ready.
Ah the innocence of being a child, where there are no mistakes just experiments and trying another way.
I noticed this happening as I got older and become more self-conscious because of how I was reacting to what I could feel around me. Reflecting on this I can feel how I had begun to impose an image of how I should be in doing anything.
It is true as a child we just know what to do, we don’t question it and things naturally happen like walking, This is a powerful reminder in it’s simplicity to listen to our body when ever there is a possibility we may want to give up.
We learn so much from observing children. When allowed to be, they don’t think before they act but move with their whole bodies are natural, spontaneous, playful and curious. We are the ones who have gone into our heads and left our bodies behind.
Rereading your blog, Mary-Louise I realize how often I take my body like a robot, function, get through the day and do not listen. How different is it to truly stay in the connection with the body and explore it and life as if I would do things the first time. Your sharing impulses me to open up and take life as I did when I had been a toddler myself.
I wonder if a toddler has more than whole body intelligence. The ability to simply keep going and not to consider setbacks to be anything more than they are is quite something.
Be with the body, be with truth. Separate from the body and be lost in No Man’s Land.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ This is beautiful Mary-Louise, it confirms how powerful our bodies are when we choose to connect and honour its intelligence.
When I read this Mary Louise, I wonder why we ever went away from our whole body intelligence? We close down on this intelligence we know as we grow. When a toddler knows what to do, and can hold this way of learning with an upbringing that supports them and an education at school where they are allowed to be themselves, we will have some very ‘whole body intelligent’ adults to reflect to the rest of society how we can be. Or we can also choose to reconnect to this intelligence as we come back to its wisdom as adults returning to being like toddlers.
Young children are a great reflection for showing us how to be with ourselves when we slip up or make a so called mistake, as they simply try again and never do they judge themselves for it because that feeling of of pure enjoyment and wonder in themselves and their surroundings just pulls them up and onto the next thing.
I have often longed for the enthusiasm, joy, passion and purely open attitude to the ‘process’ of learning that toddlers have… instead I have felt terribly inadequate and been so self critical & negative about life’s challenges…
…however, the wisdom Serge has shared with us inspired me to try something different and I now realize that it is about me ‘being with myself’; when I am ‘with’ my body, there is a sense of knowing who I am, what I need and that I am OK.
When I feel and listen to my body I know I have all I need and so things don’t easily discourage or disturb me.
In the past I have often gone the opposite direction (away from feeling my body) when I struggled to know what way to go in life. I would spend a night in the forest hoping that sleeping in the snow would bring me clarity or I would fast for many days or chop holes in the ice and submerge myself in ice water hoping this would cleanse me and I would find truth… these things never helped, in fact they brought me numbness and degraded my relationship with self and body even further…
Now I know that the more I honor, care for and respect how tender and sensitive my body and my being is the more ‘in touch’ I am with the wisdom that is in the same in my body, in others and in the Divine Universe.
This is huge and has transformed my life in so many beautiful ways.
I can feel the given upness of ‘oh I’ve done it wrong ‘ like a resignation to it, but seeing it as an opportunity to learn from takes all the heaviness out of it and the limitation that comes with right or wrong.
I know when I have allowed myself to learn and try again that I feel a huge relief and the pressure that I have put on myself starts to fall away. Having a picture that I am perfect and that I have it all sorted is rather exhausting and being honest which is an every evolving process really allows us to be who we are.
Yes, being open and dealing with whatever comes up is an amazing life skill to have.
I love this article as an inspiration to never give up and never give myself a hard time as I practise anything. As long as there is willingness to learn and give things a go, the potential to learn, grow, appreciate and love is ginormous.
Beautifully said Matilda!
I am noticing that if I really pay attention to the way my body wishes to order my day and which task to do next, the more the day flows. If I choose to override these inner directives, it usually ends up getting a bit chaotic and rushed. I love how my body always knows the bigger picture and so often, when I have surrendered to its wisdom, something unexpected may occur, but my body’s wisdom has enabled me to be prepared for. Never ignore the impulse to take an umbrella with you, leave that little bit earlier for an appointment, or not go shopping today, there will always be a reason and our bodies know it inside out.
We judge ourselves so harshly as adults. Instead of simply enjoying the moment we make ourselves miserable by viewing everything from our head and having an opinion.
It is such a simple process to listen to my body and adhere to what it says….. I have struggled with putting this into practise consistently. At these times I over ride my body and push on, due to a need for recognition and acceptance outside of myself, from a lack of truly knowing my own value and knowing that I am enough just as I am.
We have become masters at ignoring our own bodies, how else would we be able to ignore the very thing that enhouses us?
I love how you say there is no right or wrong Mary Louise, we have been taught this from an early age, and it is a complete set up. It simply is what it is.
The process of learning to walk can apply to anything that is before us to do in life..
Children ask hundreds of questions a day, college students will ask a handful? How many of the questions the child asks, are about why we do things that to them don’t feel right? Are we providing role models on how to override what the body is presenting to us?
A great point Steve, by the time we become adults we have largely learnt to hold back our natural curiosity and our questions, often because we judge them to not be smart enough or we have become indifferent and numb to what is going on. We basically reflect that it is normal to hold back and to not express our true selves.
Just the other day I was captivated by watching a two year old discover how much fun it was when his shoes were slipping on a shinny floor, and his feet were getting wider and wider apart. His attention on his feet said it all, and his laugh was infectious – I could have watched him all day.
I love the ‘loads of enthusiasm’! I smiled when I read it. We do LOVE learning! Why is it that we’re not allowing each and every one to learn not only at their own pace, but also when they choose to learn something about life. There’s so so much to learn in life and in my own experience it is my Soul that guides me back to me, through life. And I love it! No push, no need, no worry, just impulse after impulse to learn something new. Even though I catch myself being resistant at times. Which is also fine…
It takes a degree of stillness to truly listen to our bodies and that may require a refinement of diet, a reduction of busyness and other distractions, and giving ourselves permission to be aware of what we are feeling all the time.
And as we get a sense of the preciousness and potential in this stillness, the refinements you talk about, Carmel, are simpler to apply.
It is beautiful what you are saying here Carmel as it invites us to forever keep tuning in with ourselves and refining the way we live to feel more and be more in the rhythm of the universe, the all.
Learning can be so filled with trauma when we judge ourselves on success or failure We need to be able to play with this in order to try new things or we just end up stuck
There is a wisdom we know that cannot be explained by intellectual intelligence from the mind or learning from observation or experiences.
Considering the right and wrong as a mere construct is very exposing of all the pictures, ideas and beliefs we hold either consciously or unconsciously as without preconceived images there cannot be any right or wrong or judgment or expectation.
WOW – the way you describe our perseverance and dedication to master walking as a toddler really shows how quickly and easily we give up as adults, there is no way we would have given up on trying to learn to walk, it’s simply inconceivable, yet day-to-day as adults the moment something gets tough we give up, what if we approached our evolution with the same approach we did to learning to walk? Not learning to master life, or giving up, is literally inconceivable.
Our body really does know, how beautiful it is if we just trust and allow. “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”
It feels like are bodies are always asking us to live and learn this way however we allowed our minds to become dominant over it rather than allowing our body to take the lead.
Note to self ‘your body knows, trust it’.
“We do not consider we have made a mistake and are wrong when we fall, we just get up and give it another go'”this sentence is absolutely key because it is as a direct result of judging ourselves to be wrong that we often avoid repeating whatever it is that we did ‘wrong’. If we think that we said something ‘wrong’ to someone then we may avoid that person for ever more or equally if we believe that someone else has acted ‘wrongly’ then we may ignore them for the rest of our life. That one simple label of ‘wrong’ is responsible for desecration on a global scale and to think that we believe we’re good parents in teaching our kids ‘wrong from right’.
Our bodies know everything because they are part of everything, which really highlights just how far removed we have become from the natural intelligence of our bodies when you look around at the impressive mess that we have created. And to add how arrogant are we that we strut around as if we’re intelligent? The word neanderthal comes to mind!
Our body is immutably connected to a level of intelligence way beyond our current awareness and therefore is the wisest and most perceptive teacher we could ever wish for. The most intelligent advice we can ever receive is “listen to our body”, a multi-dimensional marker of Truth that is innately tuned in to the future and knows without question what to do. When we choose to surrender to what our bodies know and stop over riding them with our own agendas, the most amazing miracles occur, learning to walk is just one of them.
I am in train to study more about the anatomy of the body and am amazed about the delicacy, wisdom and harmony the body is working in. If we would apply the same amount of delicacy and harmony in our daily lifes, we would certainly not have to suffer as many illnesses we do today as humanity.
“Could it be that we are connected with our body and we get the wisdom/intelligence from our body that sends us the message”. Before Universal Medicine I always thought the brain was the most “intelligent” part of the body, how wrong was I. There is no doubt the body and the whole body is where true intelligence comes from, in the brain we can abuse in the body we can’t unless we override with the brain.
Beautiful Mary -Louise a joy to read and connect to our childhood simplicity of being in our bodies and everything being a learning with no right or wrongs. A Very loving and caring sharing and way of being for us all to recapture and live.
The sacredness and partnership with the body is obvious when we observe a toddler – they are totally aware of what is going on and responding with uninhibited expression. To support our children as they grow up to keep this awareness would change the world.
This is true Bernadette, they are totally aware and there is no sign of doubt or hesitation – it would make a huge difference if they were supported to continue to live this way as opposed to slowly but surely feeling forced to fit in with the demands and expectations from the outside.
If we did not interfere with out bodies and dis-regardingly manipulate them we would be a lot healthier and a lot wiser. It is a no-brainer, and yet we have somehow been led astray. Time to wake up and walk back to the stars.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ You can’t have ‘right’ without implying a ‘wrong so if you think you are right then you automatically judge someone else as wrong. This comes from the mind. As you say, Mary-Louise, if we are in our body ‘there is no right or wrong’. We just see What Is and we do not hold ourselves back by any judgement on ourselves or others. If we can connect to the truth in our body this allows us to unfold by opening up to opportunities that are being offered to us.
This is a great reminder to be a lot more caring, understanding and loving toward self and others.
It is powerful to observe children’s approach to life, so many of us adults are busy attempting to fill our childrens brain with information and neglect to appreciate what is already known and lived, we perpetuate the cycle….we adults also have an innate knowing and yes joy when we allow ourselves to feel it.
So true Samantha and how ridiculous of us to think that we need to teach our kids how to be, completely ignoring one of the most natural miracles in the world, learning how to stand upright and move with such refined precision. It’s only when a child is unable to do this, through disability or illness that we realise just what a precious miracle it is. Everything we need to know in life is naturally available to us when we are encouraged to tune in and follow the impulses that come from our bodies, just as we did when we were toddlers.
This is a beautiful example of how life’s coming towards us. To learn walking comes natural from the inside out. We’re just to follow. And we love following or obeying what is there to ‘step up’ (learning something new) to. I’m becoming aware that life is meticously coming towards me. I am to simply respond. Not questioning, not having pictures in my mind, just set one step. Step by step, impulse by impulse. Living like this stops worrying and is requiring (only) surrendering. Yet, it is the exact opposite to what life’s imposing on us which is ‘having everything under control’.
Floris what you have shared had lead me to consider how we have got life completely the wrong way round. We act as if we are striving forwards, somehow carving out new territory, feeling like we are inventing as we go but and it’s a massive ‘but’ we’ve done it all a thousand times before and in truth the only way forwards is actually the way back we came. We have to retrace our steps not tread anywhere new.
Thank you Mary-Louise. Today I realised that comparison is one of the main things that I use to give myself the excuse to give up. The great thing about this is the fact that comparison is a choice I make and I can choose to be inspired by others rather than give up and feel less.
And to add to this leonne- something that was brought home for me today was when we make ourselves less or more than others we can not be in brotherhood – only knowing we are equal to all is where brotherhood can be.
When we listen to our bodies and follow it’s impulses without questioning it, we literally set ourselves free to be all that we – step by step this enhances true mastery.
Slowly learning how to build a relationship with my body and accessing whole body intelligence allows me to detach bit by bit from the mental intelligence I favoured most of my life and put much effort in achieving – two complete different ways of living, two differnt worlds.
The more I allow myself to feel my connection with my body, the more I understand just how completely different these two worlds and ways of living are.
Yes, “…When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish … a relationship…” with ourselves where we simply can’t ignore the signs, symptoms, feelings and impulses, which simply indicate ways to us to deepen self care and self love. Paying attention to our body makes a huge difference to our whole health and wellbeing.
And following the at first what seem like subtle impulses from the body when we choose to be aware – allows us to build on our connection and trust our body and the wisdom it is constantly offering us. Sometimes I feel to do this or do that or wait etc without knowing why and when I listen and adhere to these feelings it always pans out as the best choice as well as revealing to me why I felt it on the beginning. Our body always knows before our mind does.
This is so true, as adults we do tend to hold alot of expectations on ourselves and others.
The energetic forces that are employed in keeping us from remembering the truth of who we are, work tirelessly to keep us from accessing our ‘whole body intelligence’. They know that once we do re-connect with our bodies then we shall be back with God in a flash and so the world is set up to constantly distract us and make us look the other way.
I loved watching the young children around me learn to walk – there is something so sweet and unhurried about how they approach every step, and every fall. As you have so simply shared, life is full of these steps and seeming stumbles, and yet what if no part is a failure, but every part is needed to learn and grow.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ – This gives us the grace and space to be open for evolution and allowing what is there to just be. We can learn a lot from this indeed.
What a refreshing way to remember back to the times we were toddlers. Seeing every moment of life as a chance to discover curiously and joyfully what is there about to learn and to experience.
This a great reminder to make sure that learning is a joyful process, no matter how old we are.
So true Janet, I watched a baby do true movement today with around 100 adults and the joy he expressed in his movements was contagious. He didn’t worry for a second about making the ‘wrong’ move. When he fell on his butt he giggled and got straight back up again.
When our mental intelligence is celebrated by our parents it is easy to assume that is ‘It’ and to ignore our body, seeing it as a weaker part of ourselves to be ignored, mis-treated and forgotten. Only it is not that and it makes its presence felt with an illness we can’t ignore. We need parents who can help their children to honour their bodies and who can help them to retain their clairsentience even when they go to school, where it often gets suppressed. The wisdom and intelligence of the body is boundless.
When whole body intelligence is what we live from and use as our intelligence I’ve found we can’t ignore the truth of things, from food, conversations to relationships… in the head we can override and justify whereas in the whole body intelligence life is simple and there is no wrong or right.
We do most definitely have a natural state of being. It feels to me to be the flow we can feel when we are 100% at ease, when the body is feeling balanced in all its mental, emotional, physical and spiritual states, with the feeling of connection and awareness of our body. When a toddler is playing in their own world, perfectly content with all around them, they are totally unaware of anything or anyone else. It is a beautiful state of harmony we have all felt in our bodies so we can all return to it.
You’ve touched on something key here Mary-Louise, as children living in the wonder of the moment we don’t give up – we try and try again but never giving ourselves a hard time. That is what we are robbed of as we start to grow up and we see the critic everywhere as this false way of being is what we have effectively sold out to.
Coming back to whole body intelligence is essential and takes quite a bit of dedication as we so used to living detached from the body and letting thought, desire, and all manner of wayward forces run the show. Also being truly connected to the body means that we will start to feel things again and that can mean having to feel things that are not so pleasant. The beautiful thing is that as we begin to feel again we also gain access to the greatest beauty and wisdom because we begin to observe instead of being swept away by forces that are not congruent with our truth.
I love the simple analogy of the body knowing how to walk even though nobody has every told it how too. This really does show that the body has intelligence and is in fact a huge marker of truth if we were to listen to it. This makes everything very simple because when we are confronted with life’s dilemma we just have to feel into what our body is telling us about the choices we are making or are about to make. When our choices are truly supportive of the body there is a settlement in it.
What if it’s our body that knows exactly how to respond in every situation. The more I learn / choose to stay with my body, the more and more obvious it becomes that I am to follow my body in each and every situation. It knows exactly what to say or not say. Simply because it’s in union with life and what happens in that life. Whether this being with other people or in nature or in relationship to the universe. Our body holds our intelligence. It’s up to me to let go of every choice that hasn’t come from the connection with my body. An incredible beautiful and delicate process.
I love this Mary Louise. It exposes the expectations we have on ourselves and can also impose on others. Who would expect a toddler to walk first go? And who can deny the joy in the process of discovering to walk that is so evident in a toddler. When we impose demands and expectations on ourselves it not only creates anxiety, it take so much joy out of life.
Image how we have naturally being connected with our body as children, receiving the impulses to learn walking, expressing, speaking etc all from the body and not from thinking or using the mind and then as adults most of the time we are so disconnected from our body that many even have difficulties to relearn feeling, understanding and expressing from their body. There must be some not so intelligent intelligence be at work as proven by all the consequences we are challenged by from not listening to the body anymore.
From working full time at a desk in an office, I notice that when I don’t walk, swim and or stretch regularly I feel less confident and certain of executing whatever tasks the day may throw my way. The more I connect with my body the lighter my moods become as well. So yes, I absolutely agree that the body holds an intelligence more profound than any theory we can think of from a mind that is disconnected from the body.
Simply connecting to my body and it’s delicacy supports me to make more self loving choices, finding my way back to those toddler years of complete acceptance and joy!
We make listening to our body into such a big deal or hard thing – when the truth is in fact it is very simple and easy to do – yes I understand for many it can be difficult to start with as we have ignored it for so long – but for many it’s just a game of self indulgence and delay. We can all feel exactly what’s going on, we just choose to ignore it as it avoids evolution.
“When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it.” And when we do it restores simplicity to life, a true guide and marker as to how to move, what to do and when to do it. It may sound odd, but when we ask how our body feels in relation to a task, problem or issue, it knows exactly to what to do. The real issue is, can we trust this guidance with the same absolute knowing that we had as toddlers or dismiss it because it doesn’t fit our agenda.
It’s refreshing to realise that we can celebrate any new venture, big or small, as it’s our connection that brings that quality to it.
Our body is talking to us all the time, sometimes it is positively shouting, and we need to take time out to feel what’s truly going on and to learn from its wisdom.
If we would only but grasp from the above that our intelligence stems from our body than we would already initiate our process to re-turn to the loving beings we are!
As we are ‘coming back’, so too are we coming home. It feels eons since we have all been there together.
Until we walk with the love, truth and wisdom of a child, in the sense that we have not imposed onto our bodies and beings layers of ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’ts’, ‘rights’ and wrongs’ that are all fed from a pool of ill seeded beliefs, ideals and images that have naught to do with the truth of who we are, we will continue to walk inhibited as a race of beings here on Earth. We have a lot to learn from a toddler in terms of finding our feet again.
Toddlers don’t have pictures of how life should be, and therefore there is nothing to judge as right or wrong – life is the way it is. They joyfully accept themselves as they are, and allow life to be impulsed from their bodies innate wisdom and intelligence.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” Well said Mary-Louise…our bodies only know truth – what is true and what is not.
This makes me ponder on food and our relationship to what we choose to eat, how we choose to eat and how much we choose to eat. A baby is very very very clear with when it needs to eat and what and when it does not. The body’s messages are very loud at this age. Yet we live in a world with obsesity on the rise and many other eating disorders becoming more normalised. Something is not quite right with how we see our intelligence.
You are so right Joshua about the baby being very clear about what it will and will not eat. I was recently watching my toddler granddaughter being very clear with her mother about not eating the various foods presented that day. The one thing she really wanted was the broccolini and she ate a whole meal of that and nothing else. It was a wonder to watch! I loved the certainty with which she knew what the body required, and the willingness of her mother to heed that response.
I agree, Mary-Louise. We spend so much time judging ourselves for not living up to our pictures rather than being open to exploring all that we can be in the moment.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ beautifully written.
What you write here Mary-Louise should be written in any parenting book, not only for parents to understand about their children but for all of us to understand ourselves and the wisdom that our bodies bring.
How interesting that the innocence we have as children in our approach to life is not generally considered an intelligence that needs to be nurtured in order to grow healthy well balanced and deeply intelligent adults in and throughout our societies.
Mary-Louise, this is a great question, ‘What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.’ I find myself doing this, I have started a placement and am noticing thanks to your article that I often go into getting things ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ and that I can be very harsh on myself when I get them ‘wrong’, it feels like there is no allowing for learning, making mistakes and simply giving it another go, this is really helpful to be aware of and definitely worth working on. I feel the schooling system instills this ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and stiffles the naturalness of learning by giving it a go, there seems to be much pressure to get things ‘right’.
Learning to walk and in deed do anything with our bodies is a very innate directive, hence our steady and joyful persistence when we are toddlers to accomplish one of the most magical tasks we can do, stand on two feet. And not only stand, but in time run around, jump, hop and skip and we take it all for granted. What joy it is as an adult to begin to appreciate these wonders, and also to appreciate everything else we learn to accomplish, enabling us to reclaim the simple joy of being alive.
It is hugely important to foster in a young child their knowing that their body holds the wisdom and intelligence, and that it’s OK to listen to it.
It is beautiful to get reminded how toddlers learn to walk in giving it a go and falling again and the falling is part of the process.
I’m staying overseas at the moment and attempted this morning to order breakfast. Between my attempts to hand signal and the staffs basic English – my requests failed. It was ‘no big deal’ but as I sat there choking down on a soup I didn’t want, I felt myself going ‘oh well that’s just how life is’ ‘there’s no point to trying again’ and this attitude was very strong. It’s made me question just how I have forgotten this natural way you describe Mary-Louise and how there is something beautiful about staying open, no matter what goes on in our lives.
The power in whole body intelligence is amazing, whatever I am doing when I bring it back to how I am in my body first then all the confusion, the complication and the mess seems to vanish away. The key is now living with that commitment first and foremost.
For all the technological advances in our current society, we are but toddlers when it comes to understanding our world and how it truly is. We may have been born with awareness, but the systems are in place to dull that awareness so that we live our lives as only a fraction of our true selves. Now we are re-learning how to sense energies, how to be in relationships and we make mistakes, but we can also, like the toddler learning how to walk, learn something each time and keep trying until we get it.
If we dont connect and stay with our bodies, we are missing out on so much wisdom, both from our own living and that from our open and surrendered body. Leaning to trust and go with our bodies in this way is natural but can feel unfamiliar as we haven’t trusted in ourselves for a long time due to thinking our mind is the most powerful and knowledgeable tool we have. But the mind cannot feel, it is only a thinking/working out device, and a very limited one at that.
I love that ML – ‘that there is no right or wrong when you are in your body, only an opportunity to learn and develop’. The body holds a vast and infinite wisdom and we do well to listen to and be guided by it’s wise counsel.
Returning to whole body intelligence is a must. We live in a blame culture and this level of stress, and I speak personally here, is not good for ones health! The fear of putting a foot wrong and being reprimanded is a reality. The recession and job cuts have created a climate of work harder and longer hours (a recipe for making mistakes) or be replaced. At some point ones health has to take precedent and living from the loving intelligence of our bodies will be the way.
There is so much for us to learn from the body and it’s innate intelligence… letting go the tight grip we have on life for one. I know I have lost the art of listening and honouring my body’s impulses, instead overriding them with my own agendas. When you watch a baby learning to walk there is no push, no stress or strain, and certainly no self-recrimination. That requires a picture of how it should be first… but the body doesn’t provide that, just the impulse to start learning.
Whole body Intelligence is the way to go. We do, however, have to learn how to read the body. For example, suddenly we feel hungry and start walking to the fridge, but is that the body speaking or is it the fact that we have just been upset by someone on the phone and want to dampen down or numb out our reaction to them. In this case it is our spirit speaking and trying to dominate the body and not the body speaking. If we ask the body itself, it will know.
I remember a time where I was with a 3 years old little boy that had difficulties walking. When I was with him, I held his hands and said after a little while “You can walk, just walk”. And there he went, walking. I could see and feel the grandness of him reconnecting to the choice that he was able to walk. And simply by somebody supporting him in the absoluteness of the knowing he can walk, gave him the choice to choose differently. Allowing to trust our body from the inside out is something very precious and beautiful.
This teaching of listening to our bodies is relevant throughout our entire lives, for there is nothing more grounding than feeling deeply connected with your body.
Remembering that tenacity of a toddlers’ has been good this morning. We so often give up when it gets hard, only to miss the gem that is awaiting consistency and commitment! Choosing what we stay committed to is the key – do we stay committed to an self destructive way of living or a loving supportive way of living – which is easier – which are we prepared to keep getting back up for?
My feeling is we lose touch with our body – I remember considering my body as something to be managed and the messages from my body not as messages but mostly as inconveniences, holding me back from doing what I wanted – drink more coffee, eat more, read longer, be on the computer for more time etc.
You don’t see babies or toddlers giving themselves a hard time for not getting it right. They enjoy the process and actually think nothing of falling down, unless they really hurt themselves! But there mood doesn’t change, their relationship with themselves remains and they don’t reject themselves or make it about what they can or can’t do.
When we discard the mindset of right and wrong there is a great joy in developing and learning, it becomes a voyage of discovery that we look forward to and embrace.
The system is designed to make us doubt, hence ignore our body’s innate knowing and intelligence.
This makes so much sense of those days where we plan to do certain things, but what actually completes naturally is not what we expected. Our bodies are brilliant leaders when we allow them to lead.
This is such a joyful reminder, Mary-Louise, of how free and naturally in tune with our bodies we are as children – “…we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it.” And this can be felt again as an adult once we re-establish a loving connection with our bodies and start listening again.
Wow in reading this I see how much there is to learn from babies and the relationship they have with their bodies. Quite incredible when you think about it and the wisdom they hold because they are not living in their heads. All they have as a marker is their body.
I love this Mary-Louise, this whole body intelligence has a wisdom we all crave but forget is already inside us to tap into whenever we wish to connect to it. It is time to wake up, feel and appreciate the amazing body.
We know when our bodies feel connected and free to move in a natural, easy and light way, and we know when they feel cramped and held and tight way and some movements are difficult; which will we choose? We know it is reflection of how we have been responding to life around us, and we can choose to change those responses and then the body falls into its natural alignment and rhythm.
Yes, the idea that our body actually has an intelligence, in fact a deep intelligence that is more reliable than the mind, sounds preposterous, except that it actually works in my experience.
That is so true Christoph, and that is why Serge Benhayon always says that if we have an issue we are stuck with change our movement and then everything will start to shift and we can let go of it. The body leads the way.
Our education is based on right and wrong and sadly we learn to feel bad about ourselves when we make a mistake and as a consequence try to avoid them, which really stops us from developing ourselves further, as making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process.
That’s always a great thing to remind myself of Judith: a. It’s not a ‘bad’ thing to make a mistake and b. mistakes are a natural part of learning.
“So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk.” When you say it like this Mary-Louise it brings the innocence and joy back to life, as adults we can lose that naturally gaiety yet it is always there asking us to be more and to not get stuck in stagnation.
Coming back to the connection with our bodies allows us to be open to learning and growing. And this need not be restricted to the young but at anytime in our lives. Thank you for this reminder Mary-Louise.
I love this simplicity of what is being shown here. Sometimes it is hard to believe that it can actually be so simple as to allow the impulses from the body to make our choices!
So true Michelle – we just need to get ourselves out of the way and let our body do the talking.
…and the walking! How many of us let the wayward mind steer the ship that is our physical form into a stormy sea?
Mary-Louise, great question; ‘What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.’ I have been observing this lately, that if I am asked to do something I can kind of go into a mini panic really wanting to get it ‘right’, it i get it ‘wrong’ i am very hard on myself and embarrassed, thinking I should have got it right the first time, this feels very hard and not playful, experimental or joyful, it’s great to observe these reactions and to bring more lightness and understanding and less criticism with things.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” What a contrast to what we are led to believe so much of the time. So much of life seems to be about what is right or wrong, and so many of us live in the anxiety of this, and that we will either be depised or judged for getting something right, or reprimanded for making mistakes. How refreshing to be able to accept that there is no right or wrong, and that everything we do can potentially teach us something more about ourselves and other people.
Is it not fascinating that we have lost this innate ability to marvel and appreciate the simple yet powerful beings that we are. Such a great reflection to be reminded of Mary-Louise and that every movement we make has this potential whether we connect to this or not.
There must be a point when we are growing up where we become aware of what others think, or are made fun of for getting something wrong. This probably happens at school from older kids who had also had it done to them. If we were taught at that age not to lose the connection to ourselves therefore not caring to much what others think we would probably learn a lot more a lot sooner by listening to the wisdom the body has on offer.
“When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it. ” beautifully said, it’s a type of relationship where we more than trust ourselves, we innately know the truth our body holds and as we move through life with this knowing things unfold ahead of us. From time to time the mind may kick in with how something should be but that always then restricts the true magnificence of what is possible in that moment should the whole body be our guide.
“… why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.” This question seems to me to expose our current approach to education, making it about ‘right and wrong’ rather than about the natural joy of exploration, discovery and the sheer delight we can feel when all the practice pays off and hey presto, we can suddenly do it!
So beautiful and so true what a lovely reminder to come back to the simplicity of being as a child listening to our body and the flow and harmony of this and all it shows us so lovingly by our movements and the effects of these. Our whole body intelligence is amazing and very powerful and has the wisdom of God, the whole Universe with us if we choose it and it is never to late to reconnect and live with this. Thank you.
“What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.” – Mary Louise this is a great question and for me I see this as a wonderful clue to how I am going about things…if the joy is lacking then this means that I am going about things in a way that is not natural, that is forced and that is fighting against the essence that we so strongly are connected to as children. It is not about right or wrong, it is simply about working with things in the moment and allowing ourselves to experience what is happening at that moment in time, and having fun with it.
When I first started to be around my friends and their kids I quickly found myself saying “ooh careful..” or “watch out!” in an alarmed voice. Yet what I noticed was the kids themselves had no thought as to what could go wrong or of ‘taking care’. They were 100% into what they were doing, rather than thinking about it in their head. Occasionally – they’d look at me quizzicaly – as if to say ‘hey what’s up? That was a fearful thing that you just said’. How crazy it is that we have great big institutions dedicated to ‘higher learning’ when we are so wise at such a young age. Thank you Mary-Louise for highlighting that our fearless wisdom need not have age.
Have you ever watched the world’s strongest man competition? Its like tryouts for Hercules. Where is the body intelligence and the purpose of being that hard? And, with every competition, there can only be one winner… so what happens to the others, other than working harder or till you break something that makes you stop.
Our bodies are the markers of truth and clearly let us know what is needed at every moment, and nothing is forced or hard, just what is next if we listen to it’s impulses and move accordingly.
This is a beautiful way to look at it Mary-Louise, that toddlers just keep on until that moment when they set off and walk a few steps in absolute delight and why do we lose that and what if we chose to take that determination and instead of making ourselves wrong accept it just takes a little practice to learn a new skill.
Our whole body intelligence is an integral part of the intelligence of the whole Universe. Intellectual intelligence is a lone pony.
Our body is so fine tuned, it always gives us a marker and a loving hint what it needs and not.
‘When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it.’ – And when we listen to the wisdom and intelligence of the body, we know where to draw the line, we don’t incessantly keep pushing to reach a goal. Like the toddlers KNOW that if they don’t learn to walk today, or even tomorrow – they will eventually learn it and that there is no need to push to get there, just a joyful process of learning and not giving up.
When connected with true intelligence, which is awareness, joy and truth, than the whole body works as one for this – but when separated from this intelligence the key works in parts and there are always some parts fighting the whole.
We can be our own worst enemy if we get stuck in admonishing ourself for making a mistake or not doing something exactly what we consider to be the ‘right’ way and this can distract us from the learning at hand. When we don’t judge ourself or our choices it makes it easier to see clearly and have a deeper understanding and honesty with ourself about what it was we did and how we can make a different choice moving forwards.
The concept of whole body intelligence is nothing to fear, and certainly nothing that needs to threaten our traditional concept of intelligence. It is rather an expansion of our understanding of intelligence so that we are not actually limited to the narrow confines of what our mind understands. To give but a simple example, the esoteric does not say ignore what you think. It simply says learn to develop a relationship with what you think and what you feel equally. To do so in equally measure is called contemplation. And what are you doing exactly when you feel? You are simply registering forms of communication that the body is already receiving. So, for example, you can feel quite easily when a person is angry across the room. That sense is not registered by the mind, but by our sense that something our mind cannot quite grasp on its own.
Oh yes to treating ourselves with the same tenderness and understanding of a young child as they explore and learn about the world.
All of us will return to our true divinity, but how long this will take to occur will depend on how quickly we get ourselves out of the way. Watching babies is an inspiration of self-less-ness.
We have access to the greatest of intelligences, yet we have reduced it down to little more than knowledge and regurgitation.
There is an arrogance in adults that breeds the judgement. A child doesn’t assume that it should know and certainly doesn’t believe they have all the answers, so thus there is no judgement when they don’t nail it. Adults however are under the illusion that they have the answers, thus judge themselves when they get it “right” or “wrong”. If we first had the humility to accept that there is a gigantic amount of stuff about which we are utterly clueless then we would never be so hard on ourselves! So first must come humility and transparency.
It’s an illusion to think that you leave learning at school, because there will never be a time in life where there’s nothing to learn or an absence of teachers!
The commitment of a toddler learning to walk is a beautiful reminder of how to be in life when coming across challenging situations. No cynicism or critique…just keep getting up with every wobble and fall and giving it another go.
Seeing it in this way, every wobble and tumble is a simply part of a fine-tuning exercise along the way.
What a fantastic reminder Mary-Louise, and isn’t it interesting that this ability to embrace and enjoy learning does get wiped out from us at such a young age. I recently have been having these stages at work, and to read this now has been super helpful. Thank you.
“Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.” wow its a good point, what if kids took this approach, nothing would happen! It’s the magic of seeing babies experiment and play feeling equally great about themselves when they succeed or fail, why because they see both as the same just playing and experimenting. It’s our job to support them to stay like that and not see the fact they can walk as any more important than the way they are.
“Coming Back To Whole Body Intelligence” Shame that we left it in the first place, such an innately wise knowing that we steadily learn to override, ignore or dismiss, yet it will always guide us with such tender and all encompassing intelligence, to the benefit of all.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” Coming back to the body is coming back to the whole selves we were when we were children. Innocent and pure in our true essence.
Whole body intelligence never ever makes a decision that adversely effects either the body that it is in or any other persons body, whereas intelligence that comes from the head is responsible for the destruction and annihilation of millions upon millions of bodies. Bodies are cheap cargo to the intelligence that comes from the head.
You know I love that question Mary-Louise, “How do we know as a toddler how to and when we are ready to walk?” because it brings home the wonder of our makeup and that we actually don’t need to think or know it, but that our body can be our guide to what’s next.
Watching my 8 month old niece crawl about and stand up and fall over is lovely to see as she just carries on and gives it another go. If she happens to bump her head there may be a few screams but then immediately back to whatever she is doing. No I shouldn’t have done that or anything like that just simply continuing on. Seeing her this way shows me we really can’t make any mistakes when we allow ourselves to learn. I know for me it is when I go into beating myself up that I cause the most damage.
“we really can’t make any mistakes when we allow ourselves to learn.” Thank you for this gem James. If we allow ourselves to see life as something to learn from I get this feeling that there is far more space to be curious rather than cautious or critical.
I know for sure I have always been my worst enemy and critic which has generally meant when I have made a mistake I have been very hard on myself instead of seeing life as a place to learn. It is amazing how things change the more I see life as a playground to learn to return to being and living the love that I am.
We have all those moments when something in every part of our body was telling us something just did not feel right. Children try to express it, but we take their, ‘I don’t want to’ as being stubborn. As adults, we just override it for external reasons. By listening to what our body’s tell us, does allow us the opportunity to learn and develop!
Fear of failure is a massive thing for many of us, but so too often is fear of success, for with success comes jealousy, and that is something many of us struggle to accept and deal with.
Thats so true Stephen I feel on some level (even though it sounds absurd) many people do fear success! There may also be the feeling of ‘I don’t know what to do in my life if I don’t have something to worry or get stressed about’, because we are so used to living this way! I know in truth if we get ourselves out of the way, do not hold back and live all we can and are how amazing life would be … and this would just be the beginning.
Fear of just being in all of who we are for whatever reason . . . Yet the crazy thing is when we are completely with our heart, self, soul – there is nothing to fear. So it’s the game many of us play.
Yes so true Stephen and what I realise from your comment is that we also acquire jealously in the same way we acquire ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. After all, when we’re toddlers we never get jealous because someone can walk when we can’t, we just keep on trying until we can. Somewhere along the road, ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ creeps in and hey presto, we open the door to jealously.
I’d never thought of it like that before Rowena, but for sure, if a baby doesn’t compare and get upset then it is a learnt condition, and one that only negatively affects us.
Great point Stephen – we have become very good at measuring how well we perform according to the measures of society rather than being in our fullness and bringing our all to every situation we are in.
Love this Mary-Louise wisdom from the very young expressing through their movements to never give-up and that there is no right or wrong.
We can learn and be reminded by so much from the reflection our very young can offer us. They are still with something that as adults many many of us have chosen to leave.
I remember even as a young child trying to force the issue – when my legs hurt, I didn’t sit down, I rather shouted out loud.
When i came back to the body, i started to live life, and to live it truly. My whole quality of life and relationships changed from the simple fact of the body over mind intellect, being the key to life and to harmony.
Bring on the return of the innate inspiration that has us try and try again, get up and keep going, bouncing forward with wonder and simple delight and surprise and what we discover. ‘Bringing it back’ starts with my next movement and thought to I touch these keys with the wonder of an explorer of what will come next? Now there’s a thought worth pondering.
There is aa freshness in your contribution that I really enjoy, a new perspective on how amazing our body is. How does a toddler know when it is time to try and get up, attempt to take that first step? As you say, for all they know people around them might have started walking later in life or were born with the ability to walk. It would be so great to recapture that innateness and unhindered communication from the body, well worth paying more attention to. Something tells me that it doesn’t go away and that it is called whole body intelligence.
The ‘whole body intelligence’ can be felt when we are feeling connected with our body, and it has been through attending Esoteric Yoga classes that I have found this to true.
It is a great trick to teach our young to disconnect from their bodies, and load them up with ideals and beliefs, pictures and images… so life becomes complicated and is then lived from the superficial mind, rather than from the simplicity of the multi-dimensional wisdom and truth of our bodies.
Just yesterday I had the opportunity to catch myself being defensive about something where I thought the other person was criticising me, my chest tightened and I felt my whole body harden ever so slightly. It was awesome to feel this and appreciate the effect this had, not just on me, but towards the other person also. Being defensive means going into protection mode, so I was no longer open or even really listening. Turns out, I wasn’t being criticised at all, it was just a suggestion to do things differently. What a great lesson.
As children we can feel so much but that gets educated out of us as we learn to avoid other people’s reactions to our expression. We become guarded, protected, hard, put on a false smile and pretend everything is OK whilst feeling deeply miserable inside. It is so refreshing as an older adult to realise how falsely we have been living and to let go of the hardness and reconnect with our natural tenderness, to allow harmony in our body and in our relationships.
It’s interesting how as adults we can think we know so much more than children, yet, in truth, the opposite is often true. When we listen to the wisdom of our bodies, as children naturally do, we are all knowing. As we grow up and allow ourselves to dis-connect, getting caught up in being right or wrong, we stop listening to our innate wisdom and in turn we stop learning and evolving.
Thank you Mary Louise I can feel the joy of a toddler learning to walk when reading your blog, right and wrong is such a harsh way of judging life, where we beat ourselves up for not getting it wright, but when we connect to the intelligence of the body and follow its flow, life is there for our learning, just like the toddler who gets up and has another go until the next step in development is mastered.
I often get caught in an idea that there is a picture to attain. From that moment on it becomes about fulfilling that picture, right/wrong, success/failure. I usually end up quite exhausted. Yet at other times I am able to see the whole process as a delightful opportunity for an unfolding learning and development. At the end of these situations I usually feel empowered, inspired and energized.
What I get very clear from the above blog is how we’re actually impulsed to do what we’re to do. In our early years as a child we’re obeying to these impulses quite naturally. That is the way we’re able to learn so much so quickly. What if we would stay connected to this rhythm of life? What if all that’s needed is to be connected to our body. If I look at children, if they’ve got pain, feel sad or are sick, they simply accept, express and move on. That is very gracious to watch. Often as parents we’re over-worried, yet that’s not what they’re asking for. As an adult I feel how lovely it is to come back to this innocent and gracious connection to this way of living.
After reading this again I am left wondering how many new things we do not even try to do because of an inhibition developed as we grow up into adults instead of being free to follow the intelligence in our bodies.
Beautifully said Mary-Louise. ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ It is amazing how much I can catch myself going into the thinking is this right or not, rather than just being me and doing what is there to be done, and with that there are no regrets only learning.
Right and wrong are such kill-joys aren’t they? The body doesn’t play ball with them. Thank you Mary-Louise for this example of the toddler whose joy and commitment to learning to walk define success.
Watching children naturally develop is fascinating and such a great example of the intelligence of our bodies at play.
I can feel the tension I place in my body as soon as I think I need to ‘get it right’, the ease of a little toddler learning to walk has none of this tension but an absolute focus on what he’s doing – and is happy to fall and try again, as many times as it takes. A great lesson on connection with the body and how innately we are able to learn.
There is so much we can learn from children in their natural confidence.
What you show here Mary-Louise is that we have all that we need with us already and that we simply need to allow ourselves to trust in this knowing and step by step connect back to our body so we can use/work with all of its potential.
Coming from the body and whole body intelligence there is not just a different way of ‘thinking’ but a different language with words having different meaning.
When a child is leanring we given them all the space and encouragement we can to stumble and get back up again. If we gave ourselves the same grace, life would become far less of a struggle between right and wrong.
It was great to read this blog this morning,as we are at point of some major decisions, and what you shared is beautiful “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop. So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk.”
I too grew up the same, and even now sometimes I catch myself asking, is that right thing? Great to catch it when I say it and turn it around.
‘Could it be that we are connected with our body and we get the wisdom/intelligence from our body that sends us the message to begin the process,..’ This busts through the concept of intelligence and where it comes from. At school we learn that it comes from memory and the head, In this we learn to ignore the amazingness of the body and what it communicates to us. As you explain we don’t have to urge it to develop and grow – it just does! It already knows how to heal when we get injured or sick, it knows when something is safe and when something is not, and so it makes sense to live from the body to connect to the wisdom it imparts rather than override these signals from the head and all the ideals and beliefs we have taken on.
I have noticed when children hurt themselves and have a cut, however small, they really notice it, not alway with lots of crying, but they want to show you, this thing is not part of my body normally, something has changed. They feel the pain of it and want to heal it. As we grew up we often deny this subtly in our lives and brush over bumps, bruises, cuts, illness etc and become hard and have a lack care of ourselves….children are role models concerning how they connect with their bodies and relate to them, adults can certainly learn something from something from this reflection.
There is nothing on earth like whole body intelligence Mary-Louise. It is the way to go.
I love this – “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” This takes off all the stress of making mistakes etc – just viewing every learning as an opportunity to grow.
We can view mistakes as mistakes and make ourselves wrong or we can backtrack and see the choices we made leading to the mistake, so there is only ever learning from the choices we make and the outcomes they produce, and no matter what age you are it is important to stay open to learning and growing.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” It’s an awesome moment to truly appreciate returning to the same innocent relationship we had with our bodies when we were toddlers, no shame, pride or competition, just the joy of accomplishing a new expression via a deep trust in our body’s intelligence.
It is so true Mary-Louise, we do innately know, our only issue is the fact we override what we know. Like your great example of a young child learning to walk, it is all there, just a matter of following impulses. No right, no wrong, no striving to do better or get ahead of themselves, just the methodical development of something the body innately knows how to lead.
Back to seeing everything as a ‘joyful learning process’ – I am definitely up for that – thank you, Mary-Louise.
What a question to ponder on Mary-Louise, “How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers?” this really stopped me in my tracks, remembering watching my own boys with the joy in which they rolled, sat up, crawled and took their first steps. There is no right or wrong or beating themselves up when they move along the ground on their bottom and it’s not crawling etc. But we do as adults, even when our bodies become sick, we judge it as bad and no good. I will be coming back to read this blog again and again.
This is a beautiful statement full of simplicity which reconnects back to the days we still lived our truth.
Our bodies learn through movement and the repetition of these. Once learned we will never forget. For instance our bodies do know, once learned, how to drive a car and we never need to look up a textbook or manual to check how we have to do it, even when we have not driven a car for many years. How different this way of learning is compared to matters we have studied from the mind, if not regularly used we tend to forget this easily and need the text books and manuals regularly to remind us about the details of the subject at hand.
It is very interesting how hung up we can become over being right or wrong …. is it to do with pride, self-esteem, security, competition or is it something more. It feels that by reducing something to being right or wrong, we are putting it in a box, there is a finality to the judgment and in the process we are missing so much, particularly the ability to look at the big picture, to understand that the ‘mistake’ was needed to see that there is another way of doing something, so the wrong is actually right ….. there are always multiple way of looking at things, but the way that leads us forward is to be always feeling into the ‘learning’ in every situation, without judgment.
As adults we put pressure on ourselves to get things right, often the first time rather than giving ourselves the space to have a go and if we make a mistake, pick ourselves up, learn from it and have another go…like the toddler.
“How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers? What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong” – good, bad, right, wrong, perfect, not perfect, a theme that has run my entire life since school with the education system, gold stars, streams, grades, awards, certificates, school reports, now work appraisals, … even before going into meetings with my boss if ‘he wanted to see me’, i’d be freezing inside thinking i’d automatically done something wrong, or pulled up on something. This constant state of measurement is a constant source of anxiety where connection to the body and true confidence is weakened. Developing loving attention to my body, and being in it/consciously present has helped beyond anything and continues to deepen each time as i age in years… back to the humble innocence and playfulness of younger years.
Getting up and having another go when with one’s body is without critique. It’s very different to doing something again trying to catch up to where someone else is or trying to erase past ‘mistakes’. It comes with loving understanding and acceptance.
I love this ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ The key part here is being in the body completely and surrendering to this not wandering off with the mind. The body is incredibly wise .. it is naturally in accordance with the divine.
We try to resolve things by thinking about them when if we took time to stop and breathe and feel our bodies, the answer is always right there.
It is so true Mary-Loiuse we have disconnected from the true art and joy of learning, because we are avoiding making a mistake and the disapproval of others if we do.
There is much more going on within our bodies that we are not even aware of, nor can we comprehend in full. It makes sense that our bodies belong to a much greater form of intelligence than we allow ourselves to consciously live with, and thus is something for us to be humbled by and surrender to.
I grew up with the whole right and wrong thing and this had a negative effect on my self-esteem. Thank you for your simple message Mary-Louise it’s a great reminder for anyone at any age as it allows us the space for understanding and acceptance – ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’
Through a conversation with a friend, I came to understand that the body has a relationship with time as well as with space depending on the choice we make to align to either one or the other. The intelligence awakened by syncing with space is all-knowing with and from the body, the intelligence when we are in time is from the mind and very limited.
Thank you Alex for sharing this conversation with your friend….. which I am still digesting, but makes a lot of sense.
Such a gorgeous reminder Mary-Louise – thank you.
If I am walking with my whole body, there’s a lightness, a lovely flow and it is as if I’m confirming me with every step I take. I’m learning to accept this naturalness back into my life. Coming back to the choice that I’m to and am to give myself permission to walk as a toddler.
The dedication without giving up or feeling less because of falling down is very inspiring.
And it is key – ‘without feeling less’ – this is so fundamentally important and ought to be taught from very early on.
Our whole body intelligence includes our mind but if we seperate our mind from our body in a way that we give it more focus or importance then we lose sight of what is true intelligence.
Our whole body intelligence is often not celebrated or acknowledged in our current society because our main focus tends to be on the intelligence of the brain. I have heard of the term ‘great minds’ but I know true intelligence comes from our whole body.
Thank you Mary-Louise for this wonderful reminder to have fun and enjoy our learning(s): “When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it. There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.
So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk.”
This is gorgeous Mary-Louise. It just goes to show how much gets in the way of our natural inquisitiveness and enthusiasm to explore our own expression. What is actually learning has become twisted and categorised as right and wrong, which is the best way to stop us from enjoying the whole experience.
I noticed recently how important perseverance can be to break what seems like an energetic spell. I was trying to fix a wifi connection for a laptop for someone on a newly set up portable wifi router, and not being brilliantly technical, it wasn’t working. But I was very calm and kept playing around and investigating links, even read the instruction, and lo and behold the connection was made. I love the fact that our willingness to learn and not react, and in this case have no fear of failing allows for what can seem like a spell to be broken, a barrier, self imposed to be overcome.
Great for me to read today Stephen as I have some resistance (block) to begin my study course which I bought some 6 months ago and hold the belief ( or spell) that I don’t have the time in my day to fit in study as well as work! It feels such a hurdle to pick it up again, but I want to so I will heed your advice on perseverance!
This is beautiful Mary-Louise. At what point in life did I begin giving myself such a hard time and having the expectation that I should be able to do everything? I sure wasn’t born with it and it is quite uncomfortable to feel how much I have strayed from that natural joy of a toddler learning to walk.
Coming back to the joy of learning is a wonderful and enriching choice – one I’m choosing for myself at 56. I’ve tired the many versions of ‘can’t get it wrong’ so now I’m embracing learning like a toddler walking – listening to how my body feels and not what the mind would have me believe. There is a very huge sense of freedom with giving myself this permission.
I often don’t find it easy to see mistakes as learnings and can often go strait into beating myself up. However I recently just had an experience where a friend asked if I was tired and shared that I didn’t seem myself – rather than spinning out, I pondered and actually came to realise I was very tired and still upset from something the previous day, but had been carrying on and not felt it. It was an amazing opportunity for more honesty, and to be open with my friend and accept the love and support offered in that conversation.
We don’t have the same attitude as when we were young because we learn to not rust in our innate knowing and instead to choose to want to fit in and be accepted.
When we stop and re-tune into our bodies, we are like toddlers again, as we learn how to express, how to walk, and how to be in a way that creates harmony inside.
I think this topic is so important, because without exception we all have slip ups and are all presented with the opportunity to grow from them or contract and get frustrated/beat ourselves up… The former allows us, as you’ve shared Mary-Louise to ‘enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on’.
Young children are never focused on or concerned about a destination… there is too much joy and fascination in the journey, in each and every moment.
Children are fascinating to observe – maybe because they remind us so much of how we once were.
As adults…”why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.” What indoctrinates us with right and wrong, and how does it happen? Perhaps it comes back to the way we educate our young as parents, and through the education system, where recognition and achievement – a destination, becomes more important than the journey. There can be joy along the way on a journey, but a destination either has a right or wrong, a good or bad, a winner or loser – and there is little joy in that.
We spend so much time championing the mind and its intelligence when our whole body intelligence is a zillion times more intelligent. I love your example of the toddler learning to walk and the joy that can be felt by all of us when we ‘give it a go!’
‘Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up…’ – Could it be that we learn a lot of this attitude in school, where in effect everything is about right and wrong, and we basically make this the way we see everything in life, right and wrong… and that we expect everything to be ‘right’. Crazy really, because how can we ever expect to get it right if we are not willing to ever get it wrong first?
Right and wrong are killers of impulse, spontaneity and connection to our bodies
We have so much to learn from children but unfortunately in today’s crazily busy world many of us just don’t take the time to stop and observe them, and in so doing miss out on some wonderfully magic moments. And then of course the learning is often obscured by the fact that many adults consider children to be empty vessels needing to be filled up by us, instead of the very wise beings that I have come to know they are; there is much to learn from every child that passes our way.
The body really does know the way. When I listen to my body and have the willingness to act on what it tells me I start to feel amazing. When I know this why would I ignore it?
I agree that if as toddlers we berated or judged ourselves for falling over we would never learn to walk! Great lessons here to consider for the process of growing and developing and evolving ourselves in adult life.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” Thank you Mary-Louise there is so much to learn when watching small children especially if we are open to reconnecting to that same essence within ourselves.
“Many of us are like bulldogs, we do not give up and we just keep on until we have mastered it.” I love the commitment that kids have as they start to walk, there are no issues just something they feel to do and they are deeply committed to exploring how to walk without any issues or dilemmas that they have not walked in this life before. It shows that when we listen and stay with our bodies anything is possible.
Intelligence of, or from, the mind is a virtual reality while whole-body intelligence is real and true intelligence.
“What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong.” It is a superb question Mary-Louise that makes me aware of how as adults we lace this natural process with ‘right and wrong’ by the way we praise children. When we applaud the success of something very innate, the ability to walk, but don’t applaud the falling over in the process, we begin to implant the notion of getting it right and getting it wrong. Changing our focus to observe and appreciate the whole process a child goes through in their learning many things could go a long way to enabling us to truly appreciate all aspects of learning as the exploratory unfolding of a skill or talent it naturally is.
Life is full of new experiences and adventures and when we are in our bodies and listening to all they communicate, it becomes easier to enjoy and celebrate the new adventures that life presents us with. For example, I moved from Holland back to Scotland, which is a pretty big adventure…. I did not have a job lined up, but I just knew without a doubt that this was where I was to go, and so trusted that whatever I needed would be there including the job. From the minute I landed in Scotland everything just flowed.
It seems so much in life is designed to take us away from staying connected to ourselves, schools seem to be designed for this and University or the work place, also seems to be designed in a way that new learning is stressful instead of fun. I left school at an early age because of how learning and exams stressed me out and made me feel and I’ve never really been able to get back on that bike again. If we are able to stay connected with ourselves and learning remained joyful what an amazing world we would live in.
I agree that we need to learn to trust our bodies totally by recognising the intelligence that it holds and acknowledge this by listening to it first. In the past most of us would not have recognised this fact and without Serge Benhayon and his presentations of the Ageless Wisdom I would not have learnt so much in such a short time about my body.
I love this reminder that we cannot really get anything wrong and that we can be very judgmental and hard when we treat ourselves like this – everything is just an opportunity for us to learn and have another go. Even more so that we are lovingly supported with these opportunities by the intelligence we have within every cell of our being.
There is an intelligence, a knowing and a wisdom that comes with being in connection with our body, as you so clearly present in observing toddlers. It is interesting how in the process of growing up, we start off with this, then exchange this for some outer influence of intelligence, but then, hopefully re-turn back to developing that innermost relationship with our body.
“We keep listening to our body and follow without questioning, with loads of enthusiasm and committed to the whole process. And bingo! … before we know it we are walking” – so very true Mary Louise, and what i have found is that ‘the walking’ [whatever that is for us], turns out to be such a joy, though in the falling down phase it can seem like the worst ever, and often you don’t really wan’t to keep doing it. I know this myself with speaking in front of a public audience, though the more I get up to do it, and feel the commitment for it in my body, slowly, gradually speaking in this way has become enjoyable and something i’d never have thought possible.
‘Whole body intelligence’ feels so solid and strong. Filled with a natural inner confidence to move from and walk with, in the world.
You are so right Mary-Louise. We lose the joy of experimentation as we take on the yoke of ‘right and wrong’. We do not dare to experiment for fear of being humiliated, rejected, made to feel stupid. This judgmental habit is a very sad and constrictive way of running our relationships. When we understand bodily intelligence we understand that there are only two energies to choose from . . . love and not love. When we unknowingly, in unawareness, choose ‘not love’ we do some pretty stupid things. But there is no cause to judge as it is an energy that is not our truth. Let’s get back to ‘giving it a go’ and keep observation to the forefront!
Although not consistently I can feel a freedom in the intelligence of the body as this is purpose in itself as opposed to chasing images in my mind.
I love the simple and practical wisdom of your writing, Mary-Louise, and agree that many important learning experiences take time to master. When we ‘get there in the end’ it feels fantastic because it has been truly lived and embodied.
I have read this several times but only just now connected with the power of the title, Connecting with Whole Body Intelligence, wow that is such an amazing thing to be able to do and actually as you describe a very natural thing to be able to engage with. The fact I see it as amazing shows how far I have travelled from the simplicity life offers, just by breathing your own breath.
There is something deeply intelligent about getting back up and having another go.
Yes Shami, as what other possible way is there but that one …
Indeed Shami, because it is the intelligence straight from our body and not the so called intelligence that has first been filtered through our mind.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” This is a wisdom for all moments, an all-time priceless gem to be chosen when ever that sneaky feeling slips in to say “I can’t” . The older I get the more I realise how I might not even try something because of the doubt. Keeping the wonder and joy to try anything is what supports us all to live our full natural selves, just like when we where learning to walk – it is that simple.
Keeping the wonder to forever explore maintains agelessness.
I really appreciate what you share here – there is so much space for potential expansion that you offer.
This is beautiful – “… the wonder to forever explore maintains agelessness.” I fully concur – lets keep on exploring deeply.
Yes, perhaps we really do hinder our own process by being our own worst critic, the limits to what we are capable of are far beyond where we have set the benchmark, and we often have instilled in us a culture of fear to fail. Watching a toddler is a great reflection of how to learn, and that learning does not have to stop because we have grown up. I know the satisfaction that is there when I stay open to learning, to persevere when things are challenging.
It is a good point Mary Louise to return to our natural state of being. The wisdom inside will support us with any venture when we let go of pushing and simply allow the flow. We can be quite arrogant as human beings thinking we know better but the body has such innate intelligence, when we listen to it, we can learn a thing or two.
It is a beautiful invitation you make to us, life can be so much simpler when we choose to not go into right or wrong but just allow ourselves to enjoy life, and enjoy the process of learning.
Yes I agree completely, Benkt, that it is a ‘beautiful invitation’ to live in a way that gives us permission to joyfully make mistakes and learn from them as we go along.
Love those comments too Benkt and Janet, awesome and right on the mark. How good would it be if this was taught in schools everywhere too…
If we ever ‘fall’ as an adult, it is never our bodies that judge it to be a mistake, but our minds. Our minds are at a constant mission to find flaws with ourselves. If we learn to re-connect with our bodies, by being consciously present in everything we do and aware of the signals our bodies are giving us, we will come to understand that it is never a mistake, but rather an opportunity for learning whenever we ‘fall’.
I loved seeing the little girl I looked after come to crawl and walk – there was no way we could force her to do anything before she was ready, and we appreicated every time she gave it a go, got up and yes fell back down again. But as we grow older our expectations of ourselves and others to perform and get it right with a few if any mistakes as possible creates a lot of tension and prevents us enjoying the experience of learning and growing.
How much simpler would it be to let our bodies do the talking so to speak!. The more we listen to our body the wiser we are.
Absolutely Elizabeth . . . our bodies are by far a much more loving source of intelligence than the mind.
So true, the mind comes up with all sorts of things that make the body just cringe …
Agreed Karina, I know my body cringes – gets tense, tired etc. I’m discovering these symptoms are due to the fact that I cut off the natural flow of the messages it is designed to communicate.
I think it’s safe to say that if we all let our bodies do the talking in life Elizabeth, then 100% of the issues with in humanity would not exist.
The simplicity and joy of re-connecting to my body is something that I am beginning to embrace. I haven’t quite got to the joy of falling down and getting up and doing it all over again but I am opening up to the idea that I do not have to be perfect – that it’s okay to not know how to do things and accept gracefully the help of others. When we allow ourselves to feel within we do know what our body needs and when we respect this feeling our body expands with appreciation.
Gorgeous Susan.
Putting expectations and judgements on ourselves kills the joy that we otherwise experience in the freshness and aliveness of doing something new and as every moment is a new moment this could be pretty much all the time.
And it’s that joy that is naturally there well before the expectations are placed. A bit like a beautiful warm fire being dampened down.
‘why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong’ – What strikes me is that it’s actually much easier/comfortable to look at our choices as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’; when we do slip up we can dismiss it as an error and not an opportunity to grow, not take anything from the situation or do much about it . However the latter asks us to be more and look at WHY we made that choice, and requires a lot more commitment to our personal evolution.
A great point of view Susie. On the surface it seems that the right and wrong are hard and even a judgemental way of being, however as you have pointed out it allows us to remain in comfort and not go deeper with the why this or that is or has happened to us for us to grow from. So this is in fact a choice to either be in the right or wrong way of life or to question and evolve from experiences.
And so it comes back to responsibility – if we just stay in our comfort without looking at our choices, we do erroneously so believe that we are not responsible for the effect our choices have on ourselves as well as others.
Just what I needed to hear this morning! Many of us, including myself , really give ourselves a hard time when we feel we have made a mistake, but that is actually very self centred and cuts us off from opening up to the bigger picture and reading what is actually happening, and the opening up to new possibilities. It is also a fact that in our human development that little piece of set back is necessary to have time to allow the body to integrate what it has learned.
Good point Joan. Being hard on ourselves does stop us from being open, being with our observation of what is happening and understanding the whole picture.
Exactly, and being hard on ourselves also makes learning so much more difficult as we are then not in the forever expanding flow but feeling uptight and contracted,which is no good basis for any learning at all.
A beautiful reminder Mary-Louise of our natural state of being as toddlers with no right or wrong, or pushing and driving to achieve, only enthusiasm and committed to the process of learning and following or listening to the bodies intelligence.
I agree Jaqueline – the committment to learning and ‘up and go’ as a toddler is very natural, and even if we as time goes by learn to dismiss this natural behaviour, it is something we can choose to re-connect to at any point in time.
Enthusiasm and fun while learning is something we really see in very young children, and it shows us so clearly that there is no need to give up, and that we can laugh if we don’t make it straight away and that there is always time and space to try again.
What I realise is how much seriousness there’s around learning. Striving for a goal, perfection in relation to giving up. As if we do a lot to not be seen, to not show how much we love learning. To undo ourselves from the destructive patterns and behaviours as well as accepting the beautiful qualities that we bring. We’re not like anyone else and anyone else isn’t like us. There’s a beauty in simply being with our body and let it guide us.
This is a great questions “why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong” as if we took this approach through life then not only would we enjoy life far more but no doubt we would be a real inspiration to others. We have no concern over a child joyfully learning about the world so why is it that we think once we hit a certain age we should suddenly be experts at everything?
Would we still be living in caves if it were not for us giving it a go? There were 23 other people working on the light bulb around the globe that did not know about the others all at the same time. The same thing happened with flying, the car and the list goes on, history has a habit of only recording who was first. We can all tap into this pool of intelligence; it would appear most often when it is needed for us all to evolve.
When we bring life back to the simplicity of a toddler and the joy in their first foot steps then I can feel all the complications and barriers we put in the way to make things difficult and complicated fall away. We find joy in the simplicity of things and your blog Mary-Louise is a great reminder of this.
It is fallacy to think that intelligence starts and ends with the brain, or that the brain holds the only centre of intelligence. Even science has alluded to the fact that the heart has capacity to operate on its own free from the brain, and actually has the ability to make decisions quicker than the brain.. There is much our body can tell us, if we are ready and willing to listen to the signals, and if truth be known it is amazing how much information can be gleaned from the body. To develop such a relationship with the body is the true meaning of sensitivity.
Not striving for perfection supports us to not beat ourselves up for not getting it right first time. Instead we say Oops! reflect, learn and try again.
I recently experienced the sheer joy of learning something new. My whole body brimmed over with insatiable energy from deep within and brought an aliveness to my being.
It is quite awesome how our body knows how to do these things – we don’t have to study a manual to learn how to walk, our body just knows what it needs to do to bring all the co-ordination, muscle response, balance and spatial awareness together in perfect harmony. Therefore our body is our greatest teacher, paying attention to it is our life long lesson.
Wise words Rowena and so true that paying attention to our body is a life long lesson simply because it is our greatest teacher……
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ This is great to take on board, knowing that everything we do has a purpose, that we can learn from the consequences of our choices It helps us to let go of judgment of others as well as of ourselves.
“How is it that as we get older, when we try new things we don’t have the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers? What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong?” This is a great question Mary-Louise. As how can we ever truly learn something for ourselves if we do not experience it for ourselves first by giving it a go and then feeling whether or not it is beneficial to our body?
How easily right and wrong comes into my agenda and this in turn stops me from moving forward in my life. Thank you Mary-Louise for showing how whole body intelligence knows exactly what and how to do, especially if it is something totally new that I have never experienced before.
We have so much to appreciate about our body, its intelligence is not often recognised or understood by many, but I am seeing more and more people sharing that our body is a marker of truth and divine intelligence. I feel this is so, so true.
“Coming Back To Whole Body Intelligence” – when i came back to my body as opposed to formerly living from my head and all its mental whirring activity, i received its intelligence which was easily confirmed by the excruciating neck pain i used to experience, which then subsided. Coming back, or being connected to my body (which includes my head, body and being altogether, not in isolation), meant i no longer endured such neck agony, and was/is great example of body intelligence.
I could watch toddlers as they learn to walk for hours as they stumble, fall and simply get to do it all over again.
The only way forwards is back and the only way back is through the body, there is no other way.
Such a profound and wonderfully simple message. Thank you, Marie-Louse, this takes doubt and comparison out the equation as well.
Mary-Louise I love this, what a great refreshing reminder that it is ok to make mistakes, that its ok to fall down and wobble we are all just learning all the time and it never ever stops.
How gorgeous it is to know inherently through every cell that you will get there. The dedication is there, you designed for it and regardless of how many falls and tumbles there is no question of the unfolding that is taking place. This is so for a toddler learning to walk as it is for each of us returning to living the light of the Soul.
This gorgeous example shows so clearly Mary-Louise how polluted we are by judgement and knowledge as we grow up and age. We tend to look down at children as novices and somehow incomplete, when really it’s they who are the masters with so much to teach us ‘grown up’ human beings.
Yep, I agree Joseph. In the culture I grew up in, children are often seen as lesser than adults and what children have to say is often not considered as wisdom because of their age. How untrue is this? There is no equality in this way of thinking or treating our children, we all have equal access to great wisdom and intelligence no matter what age we are.
I really love this sharing Mary-Louise and find it full of permission to be human warts and all knowing that at the core of us is divine perfection!
As adults we judge ourselves so quickly if we can’t get something ‘right’ after a few goes, we write ourselves off or choose to no longer try doing that, or worse yet label ourselves as incapable. But what if we just practiced with the joy that comes with re-discovery, who knows what would unfold from that…after all, toddlers are wonderful teacher for us…they keep trying and just have fun, no expectations, no judgements and no writing themselves off! How refreshing to witness!
Coming back to our bodies and our whole body intelligence is a really beautiful thing Mary-Louise. As you say it makes every new venture enjoyable and, this continues as one gets older. There is no winding down-hill to die but an ever-unfolding joy in life, with every moment being made new through this divine connection with the body.
Being a mother, I have also experienced the joy and determination of a toddle learning to walk first hand and you describe it beautifully. I was so inspired by this article that I am in fact, now attempting to learn something I have been avoiding for the last 15 years -touch typing. I remember I was always a little slow when it came to computers in school and then when I was out of school later, I felt I was behind (classic comparison and self critic) and so I just avoided using them until about 6 years ago when I got a laptop. I made sure I never typed much and made fun of myself in a light hearted way about how I was the one finger wonder but how innocent was it? For I had given up learning, resigned to being a slow typist. Then joined a program/study that required me to write daily, I have been on that for the last 2 years, my typing out of necessity is now is very fast and includes, 2 to 3 fingers on each hand but it is still not touch typing, I liken it to a toddler that has mastered the bum drag crawl, if you are unfamiliar with it, its like a half walk, half crawl, half bum drag, it gets them from A to B rather fast but its not actually walking and looks a little uncoordinated. So today, now, here, I slowly attempt to learn to touch type, I am back to typing as slow as a snail but at least I am giving it a go. I want to walk, no matter how many times I fall down!
‘Whole Body Intelligence’ is not a term that most would understand. Intelligence is so often linked to the brain and how much knowledge we have. But your example of the toddler demonstrates beautifully how if we follow our bodies they know what to do. The intelligence of the body cannot be questioned.
I remember my daughter walking her first steps. The absolute gorgeousness, beauty, innocence and pouring joy was amazing to see. It’s melting. I’m learning to come back to the joy of learning as well as the joy of loving what I love doing. There’s a naturalness in all the things I’ve mastered. It’s lived! Over and over again and it is like ‘settled’ in my body. There’s a wonderful knowing, a knowing that ‘only’ requires connection.
‘Many of us are like bulldogs, we do not give up and we just keep on until we have mastered it’ – it feels that in the young this process is innate and that the timing of the movement is perfect for that little one – it is absolutely trusted and no opinions formed unless interfered with by adults. Left to following from within our natural rhythm our life will unfold in perfect unison, it is this way when we are tiny and it is still this way when we are older – but do we listen?
The thinking mind often thinks it knows the way. It tells us we aren’t intuitive, it creates limitations. Yet with one sentence, i.e. how do we as a tiny child learn to walk, to speak, to grip. The body has intelligence far greater than the mind.
I love how babies can show us such wisdom lived from the body. I was looking at my 8 month old today and I noticed her podgy arms and legs and I thought wow how incredible that the body gives her fat to protect her when she crawls and falls. Even that is just science and wisdom at play. We forget just how much we can learn from them just by observing. But we also forget that the same wisdom is offered from our bodies no matter what age we are – it is up to us to listen.
I immediately felt a freedom in what you shared there May-Louise, a freedom that comes from trusting the body to give us the awareness and the impulse to know when is the ‘right’ moment. That there is an order and a rhythm that actually guides and advises and if I can surrender and trust then magic can happen. It is not about abdicating our responsibility, quite the opposite, in fact it is about being responsible in every moment to pay attention to the small details and then respond to that impulse.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”
Wise words here Mary-Louise, and our body so knows this, it is when we choose to live from our heads that we forget this and make it much more complicated.
There is a sliding scale with wrong and right that shifts within each individual person and from person to person, as opposed to what the body knows to either be true or not true, which has no sliding scale and never alters.
Today I was sitting in the car before a traffic light and it took a long time to get through. There was a beautiful view of trees in front of me creating beautiful patterns against the blue sky with clouds. In the past I would be impatient or stressed because of my already full evening and not allow myself to feel the joy in my body of seeing this. But, this time I felt my body and felt the space to just enjoy in, no matter what and it is gorgeous how my body honestly did not stress when I allowed it the space to be. Our body does know so much more how to enjoy the moments in our day than our head and busy mind does.
It is funny how we need to re-learn what we all naturally knew as babies.
This means when we do make a mistake, stuff something up or get into a mess about something, it is actually our loving responsibility to hold ourselves in love and understanding, see what we did, why we did it but equally not bash ourselves for it is not helping but in fact making it worse.
Clocking the deliberate use of the words “Coming back to” in the title, for we are returning to, rather than learning something new. Every day we are students of life, and masters returning.
I love this Mary-Louise, returning to the whole body intelligence allows us to simply let go of anything that we are doing, because we don’t need to attempt to take over and take control, the body knows and it will do what is needed when we trust.
It’s very interesting how we accept it is normal to lose our innate joy and curiosity as we get older, and life becomes effortsome and complicated and make a big deal out of a little whoops. And the thing is a baby wouldn’t even consider a bit of a fall as a whoops. It is wonderful to remember that that joy and curiosity are never not lost and always here to be re-connected.
It’s so true. As children we just give it a go. We don’t give a thought to what will happen if we fail. As adults we all too often get in the way of ourselves.
It makes sense to tune in and feel our whole body when we are involved in life, because our whole body comes with us in everything that we do, so why do we leave bits out and only focus on the bits we class as the acceptable bits, or the ones that everyone else focusses on so they need to be paid more attention to get the attention that we desire.
Yes there is an aspect of us that revels in the misery for there it finds great identification.
The more I liberate myself from that aspect (aka spirit) the more I connect to the Joy I am. Unimedpedia Spirit: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-spirit.html sheds more light on this joyless disconnected aspect of the human being.
Right and wrong is a huge subject in that it is really wrong to get into the whole right thing and just like right is wrong, wrong can be right on occasions which makes the whole thing wrong or right depending on which way you look at it. What matters in life is TRUTH not right which is an imposter.
I love the joyful example of a toddler learning to walk Mary-Louise . . . and agree wholeheartedly that we can used this to be inspired and to remind ourselves of the trust and commitment in the intelligence of the body that we all must have had as a toddler. . and yes we all learnt to walk so the body actually does know what it is doing. And we all possibly had a lot of fun learning as I have never seen a baby berate itself for falling down. So having read this I am totally with you . . . as it is very much time . . . “to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk”
Haha, yes indeed Mary-Louise. Learning to walk is the ultimate ‘check me out!’ moment, and I must admit to having those moments even now as an adult when I figure something new out or go deeper in my understanding.
You have shared something very important here – that a young child does not give up, or judge themselves for what we would see as a mistake or failure – to them, it is simply a part of the process, it is something everyone has to do at some point, be it learning to walk or ride a bike, at school or in relationships or at work, we will all fall and have the choice to get back up and either try again, or back away. The fall is not a mistake if it is seen as another step in the process of getting to where we want to be, whether that is walking or having a loving relationship.
Thank you Mary-Louise, this is a delightful blog. I can feel the lightness and joy children have in taking steps, falling, getting back up and having another go. I am reconnecting to my joy more and more; falling and getting back up for another go is no longer the big deal it used to be. Children are great teachers for the natural flow of life, coming from their bodies.
I love this blog Mary-Louise – a beautiful reminder to appreciate that we are designed to be all that we truly are and movement comes naturally to us – when we start to measure everything with being right or wrong, as we leave early childhood, is a cause of separating from the inner joy we know ourselves to be.
I had a Esoteric Connective Tissue exercise session yesterday and in the movements I was doing with my body I could reconnect to that fun, trust and intrigue we had with our bodies when we were toddlers, I’m re learning to feel from the body the wisdom and intelligence it holds to guide the way I move.
Beautiful what you share Mary-Louise “When we reconnect with our bodies we re-establish the type of relationship with it that we had when we were toddlers, where we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it.” our bodies know the true wisdom and if we just allow ourselves to connect to that, that is when we can feel and see the change. Life becomes a beautiful journey as the flow begins to happen.
Whole Body Intelligence is something i had not heard spoken of before meeting Serge Benhayon however its something that all of us have and naturally are, its quite amazing really that our greatest Wisdom is the one that we often overlook and ignore yet in every child we are reminded that our body is what guides us and is our greatest gift and through that true wisdom can flow instead of simply using the brain to recall a textbook we can live and express the universe.
What you’ve shared about how when toddlers are learning to walk and keep falling down, they do not see it as a ‘failure’ or mistake, but focus on what they can learn from it and the fact that they want to get back up and try again. What if we applied this same attitude to life as well? Would we still have the same relationship to self-bashing, criticism and regret as many people do today?
There is such joy in a baby taking their first steps, yet as adults we are full of worries and fear when we venture into the unknown. As you say Mary-Louise “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” This is something I am learning daily as I let go of the right and wrong and openly and lovingly accept each step in my ongoing development.
So very true, that our bodies can move and be in a way that is light and flexible, just like when we were kids.
Light hearted as well as light footed, if we all were able to live like this, there would be a lot more playfulness around for sure.
The fear of failure is such a big block on feeling the joy of simply giving it a go.
Very true and we can all be role models for young people in our lives about the opportunities that come from being at ease with ‘failure’ or… opportunities for our bodies to learn!
It feels great to just re-connect to learning new things without worrying about getting things right or wrong – it brings in more a sense of wonderment and joy, instead of anxiety. Thank you Mary-Louise for the reminder of what it is like to be connected to the whole body intelligence.
I love this Mary-Louise. Recently, offered a new project in a related but new subject area that required research and mastery of new information, I said Yes. I was open to learning and banished beliefs that said ‘not for you’ or ‘No you can’t’. My first outing was OK but I wasn’t fully myself: racy and because I over-prepared went into too much detail. I reflected on this, decided to do nothing and simple allow space to flow. Preparing for my second outing, what previously appeared ‘difficult’, became clear. My body seemed to know what to do and, like the toddler, went from crawling, to tottering, to walking upright, steadily and knowingly. Consequently my second outing flowed was ordered and clear. And yes it was a moment to celebrate.
For me this is ultimate commitment to life “We start by standing and we may fall down, and up we go, then we fall again and again, always giving it another go.”
Having the same attitude when things do not go the way wish, particularly when that is painful, that a baby has when learning to walk – in that when he or she falls it may hurt but they just get up and have another go without judgment – makes life so much ‘lighter’ and simple.
I was pondering how to tackle an issue I have been struggling with and your blog popped into my mind Mary-Louise, to gently remind me that tackling these things is just like learning to walk – you have a go, you fall over, you get up and have another go. Little by little, step by step we can take on the most enormous challenges, in the same way that we took on the challenge of defying gravity in order to stand upright on two spindly little legs and learnt how to not only walk, but run, skip and jump too with an incredible ease.
We have let the mind become dominant over the body at the expense of our own wellbeing – coming back to enjoying our bodies is a great way to restore balance to our way of being and allowing whole body intelligence to come to the fore.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ This needs to become the starting point of any education system. Re-connecting to the joy of learning and letting go of the need to be right or wrong is crucial to re-defining learning for all. Fear of failure casts a long shadow over so many enterprises but if we let go of expectations and re-connect to our bodies we once again experience the wisdom of the body and the joy in connection.
Our children can teach us so much of what we have forgotten. The way they communicate, move and express is beautiful to observe. Children are often so playful and very much connected to their body and hence they move in a way that doesn’t consider the time pressures or perfection, they simply move with purpose and grace.
Mary-Louise, I really loved reading this,article, what you have written makes so much sense, I observe as adults how we think we have to get things ‘right’ first time and are harsh on ourselves and each other when we don’t rather than seeing everything as a learning process and there is no perfection. I recently started some new work and could feel how there were thoughts that I had to get it ‘right’ straight away, but I didn’t go into these and instead was gentle with myself seeing it as a learning and development and that it can take a little while in a new job, this is the first time i have felt this with work – before I would have been very hard and critical of myself and pushed myself to prove that I can do the job.
If we all learnt to reconnect to our bodies, and stop being ruled by the mind we would just never stop learning and it would be mostly joyful, and the evolution of the human race would increase dramatically.
‘Often we go into ‘wrong’ if we do not get it ‘right’ first off, and then at times we just give up… pitiful really.’ Yes, Mary-Louise when we look at it from the perspective of the toddler who keeps getting back up in joy, keeps learning and giving it a go with no judgement, remorse or self-criticism it is saddening that we can give ourselves such a hard time and give up. We do seem to live loaded with expectation and pressure for getting things quickly, or first time without the grace to learn and develop.
They just know they want to get up and keep getting up until they are up and moving. The crawling is what they know at that time so there’s no wrong in it yet the walking is just the next step of moving forward – not a pressure or judgement is they fall.
It is very natural and therefore normal to be with and come from our body even though in society at the minute it is not the common.
I love the title ‘Coming Back to Whole Body Intelligence’ – it further reiterates that we have it all with in and it was once our natural and lived way as children therefore it’s still very much there to reconnect to and live at anytime we so choose to allow our bodies to guide us in life with what feels true, and not our head with the rules, judgement and the rights and wrongs.
As we get older, we are shaped by the outside world what we can, and can’t do. Within living, memory girls were told in school they would be secretaries and housewives. Small boys would never be strong enough to do real man stuff. We are often put into boxes by others and our self, of what we can do and then just accept it without trying. We all have the tenacity to walk where we have not walked before… we just need to believe in ourselves again!
Very wise blog May-Louise, the joy when a toddler is doing such learning like walking is unmistakable and we could all be inspired by this, because the fact that we learn new things everyday is ever waiting for us to be in the same joy.
Thank you Mary-Louise this really takes the sting out of ‘failure’, in fact it reminds me that there are no mistakes, just opportunities to learn.
I love what you have shared Mary-Louise – “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” It seems to be that most of humanity are missing something very important.
Recently i was looking at applying for new jobs. I found myself looking at positions in my field that looked interesting and I was very quickly going into talking myself into why I was not suitable or couldn’t do the job advertised. I stopped and wondered when I became this fearful cautious judgmental person? In my twenties and thirties if i saw a job that looked interesting even with no experience I would go for it and quite a few times I got the job. Reading your blog made me realise how in may areas the right wrong dynamic can pop in and become so limiting. In the last few years I have also learnt some amazing new skills and none of that had such judgment and self criticism as a part of it, which to me shows how limiting and debilitating right and wrong can be.
Having been involved in the field of training singing voices for most of my life, everything you’ve shared here can be equated to this. For the way I ‘teach’ and work with people now, is all about coming back to what the body does naturally know – and getting ourselves out of the way that the voice can be produced unhindered, using the full resonant capacity and support so naturally available to us (as its ready…).
It’s amazing how much we take on in life that does hinder what can be so naturally there. Equally, a great learning to see just how much we can resist just ‘having another go’ with something like singing – like the toddler finding his legs – most especially revealing of just how attached to outcomes we can be (as in, ‘I want a super easy and great voice – now!’), rather than allowing our bodies to adjust, recalibrate and naturally find their/our own way…
Well said. What DOES get in the way of our natural enthusiasm for life as we get older? Clearly we become so very complicated, and unnecessarily so…
I agree with you Mary-Louise, there is indeed an intelligence we naturally already hold in our own bodies, that though we may have become adept at getting in the way of and sabotaging, ever remains there for us if we are willing to connect back to it.
Thanks Mary-Louise, you debunk the forever trying to be better, and to better ourselves. If our intelligence is an innate knowing that comes from within the body, there is nothing to ‘try doing’, just impulses to follow when we feel them, allowing ourselves to develop as the body knows how to do.
I love watching babies and toddlers exploring their bodies, they have a full sense of themselves up to a point then they start to look outside to their parents, relatives and eventually teachers and lose that innate sense of being.
Its funny that we can experience such joy in learning when young but develop almost and apathy towards it as we grow… losing sight of the beauty of mastering something with loving determination. Maybe the magic in learning comes from being in connection to our bodies when we learn something and without that everything becomes a mental exercise and drive.
Lovely and insightful read Mary-Louise, my eyes and heart broke into a smile about seeing a toddler walk for the very first time after stumbling before, and feeling their body alight with beaming joy as they use their legs to move, so often on the balls of their feet : ) It shows the natural lightness of a body, its movement and the joy of this…and also to adulthood where movement has become arduous and heavy from things taken on to densify what is light. Love how your post gets us to reconsider how we are in our bodies, and how we treat ourselves – lightly, or heavy-handedly.
It’s true Mary-Louise – when we make choices and lead from a place of whole-body intelligence, focusing on our movements rather than our minds, there isn’t the same concept of ‘right’, ‘wrong’, stress, time or ‘should’s’… It comes down to what’s true and what’s not, and our connection to this is something forever to be refined.
Very good point, we start to make the initial steps when we’re ready for it. It’s interesting to understand why we fight it, even when every cell in our body tells us that we’re ready.
What would life feel like if we all allowed the timing of our lives to be governed by our bodies? If we continued from baby to toddler and beyond. When we first switched from breast milk to solids, when we first felt ready to ride a bike, when we first felt ready to learn to read, when we first felt ready to kiss a boy. My goodness me, what a different world we would live in, it would take away so much societal pressure to conform and be a certain way and more importantly we would each be living our own natural way.
Connection to the body brings harmony and truth, disconnection from the body leads to disharmony and mistruth.
Comparison is one of the main culprits responsible for the unnecessary stress and tension we bring on ourselves when learning something new. Toddlers on the other hand never consider who’s walking first or who has the best way of walking.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”-
So true!- but why is it that we listen to the negative thoughts that creep into the head, causing us to doubt ourselves or put ourselves down? In truth- this can only happen in disconnection to who we truly are. We have a divine inner intelligence where so much untapped wisdom is held.
A toddler has endless space and patience to learn what is to learn. I’m re-connecting to this feeling. And rather than going into overwhelm I can allow myself to just observe and be honest if I’m not sure, if I don’t know the answer, if I don’t know how to do something etc. It’s a wonderful innocence and true power to just simply ‘be’, enjoy learning and knowing that I’m giving my everything in all that I do (as far as I know now).
Reflecting on this blog I can see how much the joy of learning through a whole body experience had changed for me and how I had turned it into a cycle of struggle of trying to get it right and if it didn’t work out the first time then seeing myself as a failure. I’m realising more that the more I let go and allow myself to be with me in all that I do, then the more I can enjoy the learning from living in my body.
What a fantastic reminder Mary-Louise, and I love that doggedness you talk of, that we did not give up until we walked and to be reminded that this does not leave us, it’s about whether we are connected to our bodies or not, and we can reconnect at any time and then that strength and grace are there ready and waiting for us to be with us and our bodies and letting our body show the way. For that’s the thing with children they move from their bodies, not their minds with some fixed idea of where they should be, and each moment is what it is, and once done it’s done.
Comparing the learning journey as joyful like a toddler learning to stand and walk is a clever thought, because we can make learning something new a very arduous task. But understanding it as the same as picking ourselves up and starting again, until we get something keeps it very simple and just a process to be learnt.
In moving with the intelligence of our body there is a confidence and knowing that doesn’t need outer approval to be ‘right’.
This is a potent truth: ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop’. What a liberation to be free of the paradigm of ‘right and wrong’ which is a bastion and stronghold set up by the mind to protect its interests. Express and move on and stay connected to the body!
Very powerful blog Mary-Louise. I love that it is short and sweet and the message is bang-on clear.
‘What happens; why do we no longer see things as a joyful learning process but go into right and wrong’ … we allow life, the judgment of others to pull us away from feeling and trusting in our own wisdom and then we are lost as nothing seems to make sense anymore. We are like ships on the ocean without a rudder. The awesome thing is, the choice to re-connect is always there, our bodies never give up on us, they are always communicating, sharing the love that we innately are.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop’. So true, thank you Mary-Louise, what a beautiful reminder of the infinite wisdom that is available to us, through our bodies, when we allow the space and commitment to stop and listen.
Thank you Mary-Louise. A poignant part of this blog, is when you talk about the enthusiasm and the joy that comes with learning to walk. This speaks to me of how true intelligence and true joy are never far apart.
It is interesting to notice that when the mind supposedly starts to ‘develop’ as we grow is often when our true intelligence of the body is overridden. Our head is actually such a small proportion of the body and yet it so often is given precedence over our whole bodily intelligence. The wisdom of the body is simple and clear.
It seems that as we grow up we start to forget our connection to ourselves and look for a substitute for love, truth and wisdom outside us. We are then easy prey for ideals and beliefs such as ‘right & wrong’. We bring in comparison and think we are separate: I’m an individual who has to strive to make my mark, or I’ll give up because it’s all too hard trying to be someone I am not. Mary-Louise, you have reminded us of the simplicity of reconnecting to our innate wisdom/intelligence and the delight of putting the joy back into learning. This banishes the need to look outside for it or to look up to anyone else. We can then celebrate being ourselves as we are.
it is a great point about right, wrong, good, bad and all the other judgements we come up in our head, and yet the body in its natural intelligence and wisdom is simply reflecting to us what is next, and in learning to read the signals we naturally are in a movement that supports us in our next evolutionary step. I learn so much through the beauty and expression of younger children. Thank you Mary-Louise.
And there is always another learning to be had when we are open and connected to our body – evolution in truth.
We seem to lose trust in our body as we get older, perhaps this is because the education process values the intelligence of the mind only. Babies really live so naturally and connected to themselves, they actually have immense wisdom to share just by being themselves. Society would do well to model our systems (including education) on preserving that exuberant natural essence and way of approaching life babies have.
This blog offers the opportunity to consider that labelling something wrong is something we have created rather than an innateness within us. I wonder what harm we do when we judge something like falling when learning to walk as ‘wrong’ rather than see it as a simple and natural step towards our outcome. The whole business of judgment is worth pondering to see if it is actually a natural thing or something we have created. The animal kingdom no doubt offers us a powerful reflection here…no judgment there when the baby calf struggles to stand up for the first time. Perhaps we can learn from them.
Lovely to be reminded of how we all were as toddlers when life is simple and we are so connected to our natural way of being. It’s true that ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body’ so where did we get this concept from? Why do we not constantly see things as ‘a joyful learning process’ and treat our ‘mistakes’ as steps in the learning process without judging ourselves as wrong or putting pressure on ourselves to perform to some standard?
I love this blog Mary- Louise, absolutely as babies it is our body intelligence, its wisdom that moves us to crawl, walk and grow, this is true body intelligence, how can it be denied. Yet many of us deny our body’s intelligence and are ruled by our ‘head’s’. Not so easy walking on our heads!
I notice for myself it can be an easy trait to focus on what is not going well, rather than appreciate all that has occurred that is awesome and confirming. Just like the toddler this is always a choice.
As right and wrong are not part of our body it must be introduced from outside and thereby interfering with our innate and natural relationship we otherwise have with our body. Hence also the false and devastating attitude that we are supposed and often expect from ourselves to be knowing and capable even of things we actually need to learn first and the joy of learning and experimenting thereby gets lost.
I hear myself having this kind of conversation with someone who perhaps is trained to think in a way that is completely opposite to what you’re presenting Mary Louise. And I get that they might think that way, because so many of us have also been trained to think a certain way and for me I believe that the biggest reason for that is we don’t want to accept just how easy we have it….just how simple it all actually is, because how would we prove our so called mental intelligence if we just left it to our bodies to guide the way?
I’ve often wondered when it comes in to give ourselves a hard time when we are doing something new. As you write, when we start off ‘there is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” When we go into ‘right and wrong’ there is such a hardness and force in the body – either from the exciement of ‘getting it right’ or the low/hardness of ‘getting it wrong’. But when there is only an opportunity learn and develop, it is much more even even and more room for joy as we realise we are learning and developing along the way.
It has occurred to me as well that we don’t ever blame a toddler for not being able to walk – we just keep encouraging and are overjoyed at every little step. And then we swap that joy and ease for the rigidity of right and wrong and the need for perfectionism as we get older and negate the intelligence of our body in the process. What would we rather have?
I was just chatting to a friend yesterday about building love and trust. My friend mentioned it’s like building up a muscle. Reading this I could feel how love and trust are already within our bodies intelligence, we’ve just let the muscle go limp. And as you shared Mary-Louise if we connect back to our bodies intelligence all the wisdom is there. We can start the work out of confirmation and love to build up our muscle of connection.
Thank you Mary-Louise, it is true, we as toddler are so yummy and feeling so sensitively our surroundings and our movements. It is so no coincidence that we now can observe that something is missing when we get older.. But the beautiful thing is that this intelligence , body intelligence, we once lived, can be brought back to life, as it is in our body, that we still can connect to everyday! Let’s start.
How would our movements in the world be if we knew at birth we were this amazing being 10ft tall with the wisdom of the universe inside of us, having come into this little body and so each moment is about growing and adjusting our movements and bringing out into the world all of the wisdom this amazing ‘Being’ already has within – now claiming this would bring much learning with Joy.
Thanks Mary Louise – this raises the question deeply so about the joy in the process of learning. When did the shift happen that we stepped into learning because we started to believe we were not enough. It feels like the education system is there from the earliest days to teach us things, to bring what is not within us and if that means we have ‘less’ within us then there is much more to learn. If as a toddler we are fed the picture that we are ‘dumb’ or useless not already knowing simple things, for example how to clean our teeth and this is approached from ‘we should know’ instead of it being a ‘joyful’ learning opportunity where we are developing a skill that is already within us, then instantly this is already shifting the way we come to learning or developing the growing amazingness of our bodies. This blog exposes how learning becomes an ‘adding to’ rather than an ‘unfolding’ what is already within. There is much to ponder here. Thanks for initiating this discussion.
Great questions to ask Mary-Louise… why do we not continue to follow the wisdom and intelligence of our bodies? Why do we choose to disconnect from our bodies, and go into right and wrong… what happens in life that we decide outside influences are more important than the innate and natural intelligence and wisdom that comes from within our own bodies?
Brilliant Mary-Louise. A great call to return to move and live in a way that is impulsed from our Soul, embracing the universal intelligence of our bodies to guide us in truth, so that we simply explore, learn and develop living our true and natural way, our Divinity.
I have often wondered how babies/toddlers know how to do the things they do but never considered it further. This makes so much sense! They are so connected to their bodies that they are following every impulse coming from their body, from the wisdom and intelligence of their body which knows the next move, the next step in its evolution… and as youngsters we naturally allow this.
Spot on Mary-Louise, you have described this so lovingly and playfully. Just 2 days ago I realised that the older I become how the resistance to learning something new can be great and I could feel it is because on the getting it ‘wrong factor’. But with a wonder and playfulness it doesn’t matter, if it is all about exploring and discovering and growing. There is no wrong no matter how old we grow there is never a point that says you stop learning now and MUST get everything perfect from here or don’t do it at all.
‘we just knew our body held the wisdom/intelligence and we listened to it’ when I read this I feel such an ease. It’s so true. As soon as I leave the connection with my body I go into a spin and this lets in a jangly feeling into my body, an anxiousness that I then when I reconnect with my body I get to feel. In the past this has put me off re-connecting but every time I actually do re-connect there is a beautiful harmony beneath that then what doesn’t belong is able to be released.
I have found there are enormous benefits in listening to my body for my health and my awareness. The key seems to be to create the condition where we start listening to our body because I can very clearly remember some 15 years ago that I was receiving messages from my body but I ignored many of them.
Our children are such great teachers which many of us do not truly appreciate.
Is it possible we already know everything? If so, is not the case that it just needs to be brought out and expanded upon rather than linearly educating actions and behaviours.
It is indeed beautiful observing toddlers when they are learning to walk. The lack of push but a steady dedication, the lack of right or wrong but an obvious joy of being in a body that is learning to coordinate its movements can teach us a lot about how to relate to learning and evolving.
Thank you for reminding me of the commitment we have as toddlers to learn to walk. In that moment there is no thoughts just a feeling of wanting to learn to walk and yes why do we change this now to having to be perfect and feeling bad when we don’t get it straight away?
It is beautiful to come from the observation you made of the toddler in full joy of the learningprocess knowing in our hearts that we can do it but just need some time is what we can return to, coming back to the innate knowing. Knowing we are more than enough already.
I agree Mary-louise, we often say that children will get there in their own time, when they are ready and sure enough just like magic a child decides they are ready to crawl, to stand and walk when they are ready. No one tells them how to do it or what to do, but through observation and feeling what the body wants to do, they just know. A bit similar to how a baby just knows to smile to express joy or happiness – no one tells them that when they feel happy they should smile, they just do.
This is awesome! I have an infant who is crawling and trying to stand up – and just as you share here Mary-Louise – she does not give up – she is so committed with no right or wrong, just the simplicity of listening to her body and trying again and again. What wisdom she teaches us! That by listening to our bodies it is all there for us!
A beautiful blog Mary-Louise. Unfortunately as children grow the focus is on whether they get it right or wrong rather than joyfully embracing the opprtunity before them to expand their awareness.
This shows that our body is made up of a natural Divine innate wisdom that is not touched by the outer world. We just have to make the choice to reconnect and not be in our mind about life.
That is such a great reflection Mary-Louise – we are never too old to fall and get up again, in fact it is perfectly normal…
Our bodies have this way with growing in life that is joyful whereas the right and wrong education system there is no joy. When I am connected to my body and feel into the lessons before me (say from at work for example) there is no withdrawal but a joy to go back to work the next day and try again!
We often rely on certain parts of our body to make decisions but it is those that come from the whole which are nourishing and expansive.
That is true. Listening to our gut feeling has, in my experience, very limited value. That seems to be the one exception where listening to our body may not be particularly beneficial, unlike listening to all other messages.
A simple and profound message to connect back to the wisdom of the body, as you say Mary-Louise ‘We do not consider we have made a mistake and are wrong when we fall, we just get up and give it another go.’ Our bodies are leading us the way in learning and enjoying our lives.
I have proven to myself on several occasions that if I go into a stress or tension around something, my mind does not support me at all, in fact it usually tells me all sorts of unloving things. Whereas my body is always there for me letting me know whenever I am choosing something that is less than loving for myself, but does not judge, but just keeps on doing what it needs to do to bring me back to homeostasis.
The joys of walking, thank you Mary-Louise, walking is something that I am still learning how to fully connect with. I often find myself not being present when I am walking so I feel I could bring a lot more focus and purpose to every step I take. Maybe if I start with my connection before my every movement this will bring a purpose to my walks?
I can relate to those John Wayne moves.
If we haven’t done something before then its like having a weak muscle that needs regular workouts to get it to be strong – we can’t expect to lift a 10kg weight if we’ve not lifted anything before. We often set high and unrealistic expectations on ourselves rather than being understanding, patient and loving as we would with a toddler.
Ah Mary-Louise the absolute simplicity of what you have shared is stunning, I love it! What it highlights for me is just how unnecessarily complicated we have made life as a result of becoming so detached from our bodies. Solution, re-connect to the simplicity and wisdom of the body and return to the simplicity and joy of childhood.
Mary-Louise this is a great analogy for life. To keep on going until we master something. It’s not about perfection at all. Mastery is all about how we approach whatever it is we are learning much more than the skill itself. I was pondering on on this for myself and how I have been in my work. Over the last 12 months I have been on a learning curve in so many ways and have days where I learn more than others. When I have those days when I learn more or the opportunities to learn more are greater, it’s so important for me to not go into self doubt or have expectations of myself. But to simply observe what I choose and not choose and why and then that’s it. Once I start questioning myself, I’m gone, that’s it, trajectory into ” I could be so much better”. Back to your analogy…Imagine that small child doing that as they tried to walk, giving themselves a hard time every time they fell over, aiming for perfection. We would literally never get off the ground.
Very true Jennifer – to have expectaions, judgment or doubt, is the sure way to kill the joy of learning.
As babies and children there is a marvelling of life that we tend to forget about as adults. It is true that this needs to be revived – and I will be the first to say I need some reviving in this regard – for this also brings a deeper and greater appreciation on all levels! Thank you Mary-Louise!
Re-establishing a relationship with our bodies also reveals our relationship with learning: are we beating ourselves up for not being able to feel, or not feeling what we want to feel, because it doesn’t fit a picture of how we want things to be, or are we lovingly accepting all that we can and can’t feel, with no judgment?
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” Our bodies are amazing and we have so many moments throughout our day to learn, explore and discover more of what makes us tick. Loving the body we are in, opens us up to true joy and connection on so many levels too and what’s not to love about that?
So very simple and undeniably true. It is time to explore more deeply as to why we spend our days in worry and stress. When we all hold the intelligence to allow ourselves to enjoy the life we have, not in moments, but in every moment.
Yes, Mary-Louise, since when is it so terrible to make mistakes and to learn as we go along? What does this say about the way we treat one another when we feel there is no room for error or exploration, but rather a dog eat dog, one faltering step and you’re out kind of working environment, and schools are becoming super competitive too?
I used to have a textbook called ‘Wisdom of the Body Moving’ – a title I think of often as I come to understood the absolute truth of the body’s wisdom. It’s fascinating that we are so utterly divinely programmed to know what to do without having to ‘think’ it. Indeed, bringing the mind into alignment with the body (rather than having the mind run the show) is integral to bringing forth more of our natural, bodily wisdom.
Hi Mary-Louise. I love the simplicity, short length yet at the same tie the grandness of this blog.
Great reminder Mary-Louise to not give up when we might fall or feel that we’ve made a mistake. Isn’t it the so called mistakes that makes us succeed in the end!
This is such an awesome reminder of how our body absolutely knows what is needed and when. All we have to do is get ourselves out of the way and let it lead the way.
Whole Body Intelligence offers us an understanding that comes from a natural knowing, right and wrong have no place, when there is innate wisdom.
I really enjoyed the questioning of how we know when and how to start walking. I see it in babies of all species nut I have never thought about it before. It seems that all young just know what to do next. Perfectionism and wanting to get things right first go is very common in adults and makes us give up on learning through trial and error. The big difference I can see is that babes are always listening to their bodies whereas adults are listening to their thoughts, which often are very critical.
A brilliant highlight Fiona – thank you! “. . . babes are always listening to their bodies whereas adults are listening to their thoughts, which often are very critical.” Clearly babies haven’t yet been imbued with ‘critical thoughts’. Begs the question how and why when we develop does the thought process come in to create critical judgments of ourselves?
This is a beautiful reflection Mary-Louise. The body contains so much wisdom that we don’t even consider like its ability to heal a cut, fight off infections, or rebalance itself if it wobbles. We have so favoured the mind that we have lost connection from the communication that our bodies bring. I agree, ‘So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on…’
I agree when I am truly connected to my body there is no right or wrong only learning. Our bodies are very non-judgemental.
What joyful adventures we are missing when we are put off by the judgement of right or wrong – from self or others. A great reminder that there is no right and wrong when we are in our body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.
A beautiful sharing Mary- Louise of our natural state of being and the joy felt as we connect to it is so freeing. The absolute determination as a baby and toddler learning to explore its movements and enjoy the world in every tiny detail they can grasp and see is very inspiring and intriguing to observe. Determination and embracing all that children are offered wth no right and wrong is a reflection for us as adults to bring this back and not lose this commitment and love our body offers us in its connection to the all. A great reflection thank you.
It is so hammered into us growing up that getting it right is the key and not so much that learning from our mistakes is part of the process, although there is the saying we learn from our mistakes, but how can they be mistakes when it is all part of the process.
As adults we give ourselves such a hard time for not being able to do something for the first time, and yet common sense tells us we may need practice. We could learn a thing or two by observing young children, and the ease of how they approach life.
Our body’s intelligence is beyond what most of us will ever understand.
You say “there is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.” – I completely agree and even when you are not connected to your body there is always the opportunity to learn.
We never stop learning to walk, so to speak. There is always something new that we are learning either about ourselves, others or the world at large. Giving ourselves the grace to be new at something, and understand that we will not always get everything right is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourself.
Mary-Louise witnessing this in my daughter at the moment is one of the most amazing experiences, seeing her stand, fall, stand and keep going – not phased, upset, hurt or having any issue over the process is incredible. It does very much remind me what commitment to life is, she is not being taught by us to do this her body is guiding her and she is in full commitment to it.
Thank you Mary-Louise. We lose the joy of learning when we start making everything about right and wrong. It is wonderful to have babies and toddlers reminding us to keep learning light, fun and joyful and to know that our bodies hold an innate wisdom we can tap into at any time.
This makes so much sense. Life is a learning process and there is no sense in giving up. As adults we tend to place far too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect.
Perfectionism = anti-learning and anti-evolutionary. When we’re trying to be perfect all the time, we’re putting an unrealistic expectation upon ourselves to live up to something that isn’t true or real. There’s no room for growth, by making mistakes and learning from them.
I love what you’ve presented here Mary-Louise – it’s so true! It makes me see how silly it is to go into perfectionism or berating myself for making a mistake or getting something ‘wrong’. It also reminds me how we have the potential to be learning and developing all the time with connection, commitment and joy.
There is a simplicity in being in your body and learning from the intelligence it holds as opposed to being purely lead by the mind which can introduce complication and complexity to life.
It seems we have to relearn what we already know and perhaps go back to basics and simplicity of listening to our body. When we fully embrace the intelligence of our body everything from here is a breeze and joy.
A lovely post, Mary Louise. And as a father of a walking toddler, we recognised that by introducing an ‘uh oh’ when our little one was learning to walk and fell, we would be introducing him to the notion of failure. Uh oh, you made a mistake. It’s what most of us heard when we were children so it’s been a cool lesson to learn that falling isn’t failure, it’s just the way things happen in life. You get up, with no sense of ‘I made a mistake’, and give it another go.
Great point Nick. By automatically ‘Uh ohing’ we are setting up an equal reaction in a child. Here we see how our responsibility in our expression can have a deep and lasting influence. How awesome to change possibly generations of beliefs by being true to ourselves today.
“There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.”. I so agree Marie-Louise. Every so-called mistake or hiccup is an opportunity to grow and evolve. Yet we often expect perfection at every turn – which is an impossibility. Bring back our toddler way of understanding!
Great analogy Mary-louise and one I use in my work with children to help them to overcome the shut down many experience in not getting it right first time! It is all there within us but we turn off the source.
When a true impulse comes to us and we are obedient to it (and honour it in full) we bath in joy. When we learn to override true impulses coming from within, we come into the realm of calibration and cold calculation. We are no longer obedient and do not allow our body to move as it naturally should otherwise.
Brilliant Mary-Louise – no right and wrong, just learning. Such an important lesson in life. In my personal experience understanding this has been key to being able to express myself more openly and not be afraid of being judged – and the value of this is inestimable.
Same for me Richard, I too am letting go of fear of getting things wrong or worried about how people might judge me. I noticed my expression has deepen the more I let go of fear. Crazy how much our thoughts can hold us back, I realise the key is to listen to our body and express from our hearts.
It’s so true Mary-Louise, we never consider that we might fail at walking, or that we are stupid because we didn’t get it first time, we just keep giving it a go until one day our co-ordination and muscle strength finally unite and we are away, gleefully so. Its only when we allow the opinion, praise or criticism of others to become more important than our own relationship with our bodies, that we begin to withdraw from this natural relationship with learning. How joyful to reconnect to the wisdom in our bodies that know exactly what to do and appreciate that beautiful moment when all the practice, focus and muscle dexterity harmonise and we accomplish the activity with that same innocent childlike persistence.
Right and wrong comes from us imposing on one another, telling people what to do, so really we only have ourselves to look at and blame for this. We can’t blame anyone else or any system.
What a lovely reflection Mary-Louise. For a child there is no right or wrong only the what is. Children when they learn to walk know how to listen to their body and have yet to be influenced by the outside world, and therefore have no concept of what is right and wrong, they just listen to their body and respond. Knowing there is no right or wrong is like returning to our childhood and I will remind myself of your blog the next time I find myself seeing something as being right or wrong.
Mary-Louise, I love this, ‘So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on… as we did when we learnt to walk.’ I can feel from what you have shared the joy that toddlers have in learning to walk and also with young children learning to speak and possibly to read and write and it seems that as they start school this often changes and that from year one children can have this attitude, that is often endorsed by the school, of ‘right or wrong’ and so the natural enthusiasm for learning can as a result be replaced with a hesitancy and unsureness, there are often pressures and timelines that the children have to keep up with and having to do things in a certain way, the lightness and playfulness seems to get less and less as the children move up the school.
Beautifully simple but so to the point Mary-Louise! And how true. Whether it is walking, learning to eat or to talk, a toddler will just keep on ‘giving it a go’ unitl it learns how to do it. There is an innate willingness within the body that just wants to know and it is this willingness that so often seems to subside as we get older if we don’t get something first time round which leads to a giving up. How differently we would approach life if we did just keep having another go at something until we got it, rather than resigning ourselves to not being any good because we didnt get it right first time round.
The more I embrace that “There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop” and live from my body’s intelligence, so my joy and enthusiasm for life, which I had like all toddlers, is growing with everyday.
I remember my first daughter being at a birthday party when she was 1 year old. All the other children at the party were walking, however she was still crawling. She had a great time and so did the other children. It was me that went into comparison thinking my daughter was delayed in some way, but sure enough when she was ready she began to walk a few months later. At that age we have no judgement of ourselves. Its a shame we lose that.
Could it be when we are learning to walk it is for our evolution and as we age and try new things we allow ourselves to be affected by things outside of us… like reactions of others, beliefs and many other reasons to not evolve?
Life is full of new beginnings where falling supports us to learn, sometimes we stubbornly continue on the same ill path until such time as it breaks and the inevitable fall comes. It’s in these moments great healing can occur as we realise the path we were on just was not working and we pick ourselves up dust ourselves down and start again. What if in those moments when we dusted ourselves down we did so with joy at the amazement of the opportunity to learn rather than looking at them as some kind of failings. I love this post. There is a huge amount for me to reflect on.
Love this celebration of the enthusiasm and commitment of toddlers to listening to their bodies and going for it with all the new skills that they are learning. I can feel how awesome it would be if I were to let this be my way again rather than the contraction of feeling I have to ‘get it right!’ which holds me back from expressing on so many occasions. Thanks for the inspiration Mary-Louise and here’s to falling down and getting up again however many times it takes.
My Dad used to always laugh at new Mum’s and Dad’s who were worrying about whether their child should be walking by a certain age – “have you ever known a three year old who can’t walk – it’s gonna happen – stop worrying about it.” Our evolution is going to happen so do we fight it or joyfully embrace it?
The perfect blog for me to read this morning before I head off to work which, currently I have found to be very intense. A childish spring in my step and if things go wrong, I’ll get back up and have another go.
‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ We can learn so much from children, especially before the education system knocks a lot of that beautiful joy out! Thanks for this Mary-Louse – a gorgeous observation.
Beautiful Mary-Louise – this blog is like a breath of fresh air and cuts the complexity that our current lifestyle trues to undermine us with. I have recently been with my toddler granddaughter and it is such a joy and delight to watch her in her body. She loves being in her body and experiments all the time with different movements. At one point she was experimenting with walking backwards and then letting herself go and free-fall into my arms! The delight of this between us was so inspiring for me. Back to the body I say, ‘let’s get physical’ And multidimensional.
When we see a toddler learning to walk we see a young human being that actually knows how to walk and what walking brings to him or her. It is actually the developing and growing body that has to re-learn this in this new incarnation. But the funny thing is, when the body has relearned this way of movement, the body will never forget this for the rest of its life and in that there is never the need to look up any user manual for how we should walk, which is the case however when we learn things from the mind. This shows to me the intellignece of the body which cannot be grasped with the intelligence of the mind.
It shows how very much we know and yet have created a world where we are treated as if we are empty vessels that need to be filled. A big yes to, “So let’s come back to what is our natural state of being and begin again to enjoy and celebrate any new ventures we embark on.”
Infant to toddler to child to adult to elder shows us that we first have to feel our feet and legs, learn to balance, take the first step before we can trust our body to move whenever we choose. Each step we take in reconnection to where we come from is as precious to our evolution as our first step as a toddler.
How amazing life would be if when we were trying new things in our lives we did so with “the same attitude as we did when we were toddlers”, there would be no right or wrong leaving us no reason to beat ourselves up. Instead so many of us seem to get so serious about getting things ‘right’, trying to be perfect, and oh how painful it is when we don’t achieve what we have set out to do. I’m looking forward to bring some childhood joy back into the next thing I decide to try for the first time.
This blog brings home to us the fact that as we grow up in life we settle for so much less than the true joy and fun we experienced as kids. Just because we are adults does not mean that we cannot have joy in our life. The fact is that it is imperative that we do because it is our true nature to be joyful and if we are not joyful it is an indication that something is missing in our lives.
Great blog Mary-Louise, ‘There is no right and wrong when you are in your body, there is only an opportunity to learn and develop.’ This is so, so true. It shows with true intelligence there is no right and wrong just a constant opportunity to learn and grow.
What a beautiful writing Mary-Louise! To see it like that makes so much sense. The enthusiasms from a toddler to learn/develop is so natural. And we all supporting this also naturally. How does it come that it shrinks and disappears when we get older? Anyway – lets claim it back! To re-connect to the body deeper and more honest is a very good start.
Yes, I love that Sandra ‘lets claim it back’ and allow ourselves to feel the truth our bodies present rather than dulling and trying to run away from what is there for us to learn.
Claiming back normality. For what is natural is normal.
Yes, we brought us into the situation where we have to learn again what is oh so natural for us. That’s why I guess it is that we have the tendency to run away from it – to not feel and take the responsibility about our unnatural, boring and frustrating way of living. Thereby it would be so empowering to claim it back!
Great blog Mary-Louise, you remind us how in the process of ‘growing-up’ we tend to disconnect from our body, and then the complication comes in, shifting from “… the opportunity to learn and develop…” to it being ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Re-connection to our body offers the opportunity to be less judgmental on ourselves.
A beautifully simple blog Mary-Louise, thank you.
I also love the simplicity. Simple yet the message or reminder of what we know and are part of is profound and grand.
Thank you Mary-Louise for sharing this about toddlers as they begin their walking – it is so true, they just keep on getting up until they master standing on their legs without any sense of getting it wrong if they fall down. There is always much to learn from children of all ages.
It is great how babies and children remind us to just be and also be in the wonderment and pure joy of life.
Very true! If we were more like babies, we’d certainly make more choices from our bodies.
A simple and to the point blog sending out a clear message. Why do we give up? What is going on for us that we allow all other aspects of our life to take over and lead us to not living the quality that is possible? Working for years in the early learning environment in my younger days I was blown away but the levels of determination children had to learn how to tie their shoes, build constructions that would take days of patience and a lot of communication and support. What was evident was the level of will that they display. There was no giving up or the idea that it was for the too hard basket. What is interesting to observe now many years later is how our future generation have lost the same spark. Could this be a result of what we as adults have modelled to them through our behaviours?
The truth as I know it comes from our body. I am discovering again to not hold back what is there. Somewhere along the way when I did not hold back I was shutdown – I registered a new way in my body that was then the way supposedly. However, today my experience has been to allow what is there to be expressed out and forth and feel for myself my own truth.
Great point Rik. Our bodies know what the next step is. If we allow ourselves to feel what is true for the body we will know exactly what movements are required.
We’ve traded the divine intelligence of the body for the reductionist intelligence of the human mind and in so doing we have reduced our potential, way of living and relating and so much suffering has ensued as a result.
Well said Katerina, I can see this everywhere I look. As a race we celebrate this reductionist form of intelligence that is contributing to our suffering and mistrust. It is refreshing and very much needed when people start to question this form of intelligence and connect to our divine intelligence that does not compete nor need any form of recognition but it is available to us all to truly support humanity to evolve.
Very well said Katerina. Choosing ‘the reductionist intelligence of the mind’ is choosing to wear blinkers.