I’m sure most people would list living in a clean and orderly environment as being high on their list of self-care priorities. After all, living in a messy environment is not nurturing or supportive for anyone. For quite some time now I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.
When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself. At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.
I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do. My hurried tidy-ups before guests arrive and hidden drawers full of odds and ends don’t honour the importance of my relationship with myself and my environment. In fact, they show me that I am living in a way that is anything but supportive.
Each pile of clothing or solitary utensil left on the kitchen bench seems to make it more difficult for me to feel what is going on around me. When the kitchen is a mess, I can’t even cook a decent meal because I feel ‘all over the place.’ This revelation has helped me to make sense of the tangled relationship I have had with mess throughout my life. I am beginning to see that I’ve often found myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order.
When I was a child, my room was constantly messy. I can remember ‘cleaning’ my room by shoving whatever I was playing with under my bed. This went unnoticed for quite a while. It got to the point where I had trouble sleeping, as I would lay in bed feeling stressed about what lay beneath me. Yes, the mess was horrible but it was my secret; it felt too big to sort out on my own and I didn’t seek help, as I was scared of the consequences.
Eventually I stuffed so many clothes, toys, shoes and half-eaten sandwiches (yes sandwiches!) under my bed that they lifted the mattress! When my ruse was eventually discovered, I felt a mixture of shame and relief. I was in big trouble and I had no choice but to start cleaning up. It was hard to face at the time but when everything was back in order I was able to sleep soundly once again.
I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore. My mum worked hard to keep the house clean for the whole family but I took this for granted as being ‘what mums do.’ I only helped out when it suited me. I struggled to keep my bedroom in order right up until my early 30’s and I often felt ashamed of the way I kept my personal space.
I’ve lived in share houses for most of my adult life and although I was generally able to keep common areas tidy, my bedroom was more often than not a huge mess that I did my best to hide from others. Around seven years ago a friend needed to use my ensuite at short notice and discovered how messy my bedroom was. I was completely mortified and I have cringed whenever I thought of this moment as the years went by as I felt that my messy way of living exposed the fact that I was not a good, ‘normal,’ clean and caring person.
Real changes began for me about three years ago when I had a chat with Serge Benhayon. Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life. I realised that up until this point I would usually only make my bed because I was hastily preparing for a visit from a friend or family member. I viewed cleaning as a waste of time, something that you occasionally did to keep up appearances and I absolutely could not see the point of making a bed that I was just going to sleep in again that night.
After this conversation with Serge I began to make my bed every single day, even if there was no chance anyone except me would see my handiwork. My choice to make my bed has become as important to me as getting dressed.
And if I do leave the house without making my bed or tidying my room?
Well it’s a sure-fire sign that I’m choosing to create stress and complication for myself. Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.
It has taken me a long time to admit that I was making a mess in order to avoid feeling how powerful, aware and responsible I really am. Now I can see that I have used mess as a (somewhat putrid) security blanket to help me dull down what I feel.
Today I started to clean up some mess that I had begun to accumulate. I felt more clarity as I brought order to each part of my room. When judgmental thoughts about the choices that lead to the mess being there in the first place came up, they were swiftly thrown out with the garbage.
Now I know that cleaning up my mess can support my connection to the truth of who I am. When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.
Cleaning up our mess is a task that goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world. As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life. And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.
Over the past seven years I have cleaned up the mess in my body through the elimination of alcohol, cigarettes, gluten and dairy, and I’ve cleaned up my relationships by taking responsibility, letting go of reactions and supporting myself to give and receive love. I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place. When we clean to keep up appearances or meet an ideal, we are cheating ourselves and everyone else. True self-care simply supports our connection to ourselves. When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.
A huge thank you to Serge Benhayon for giving me the support I needed to start pulling things out from under the bed, and making it too!
By Leonne Sharkey
Further Reading:
Clearing Out Clutter – The Room at the Back of the House
The Power of Making My Bed in Love
What’s all the Fuss about Self-Care?
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
I love everywhere clean and ordered, ‘Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.’
I hate mess, I cannot live in mess it unsettles me. I do not need a house to be spotless but I do need to have a sense of space not clutter. When I travel I ensure the house is clean and tidy so that I can come home to a house that is inviting and welcomes me back. I love to clean and then feel how that lifts the room and there is a greater sense of space, space is the most important ingredient because space is the atma of God and God means everything to me.
This is very beautiful Mary, ‘ I love to clean and then feel how that lifts the room and there is a greater sense of space, space is the most important ingredient because space is the atma of God and God means everything to me.’
Leonne as I read this I could not help but relate this to my own life, and what has going on for me. Cleaning up has been a bane in my life too, hoping that shoving things away whether for a rainy day or not, has been disturbing to live around.
Just recently I have been cleaning and decluttering our apartment and to throw, give away or selling things have been amazing to feel. And what I realise is the amount of spaciousness this creates and it is beautiful to live around, I absolutely love it. This hasn’t come naturally for me either.
Cleaning up is becoming fun, if I am pulled to go to a drawer or cupboard, I will clean it and in that it doesn’t become a chore, it feels a joyful experience. I am far from perfect at it but boy has this changed to how I used to be.
So it is our choice to do something about our mess and when we go into this rhythm, others around will feel it too.
“the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” Lightening the load that our body and our home has to carry to feel the light that we are.
Lightening the load has to do with everywhere we are, whether it is our office, car, home, cupboard, garage, etc, it all has an effect on our bodies. So somewhere along the way something has to give to support us…
Taking care in life with being responsible and responding in a Loving way and elimination our reaction to every situation opens the door to our evolution.
I very much appreciate reading this again, and highlighting the relationship between being ourselves and living connected to who we are, and the role that self care, order, and cleanliness in our homes plays in that. I’m in a declutter process at the moment and the house feels so much lighter and spacious, and so does my body.
Absolutely Melinda, reorganising responsibly and reconfiguring our relationships we have with our residence reflects real or Our-True-essences (Soul) of who we are and thus allows us to respond to our role of self-care.
There is cleanliness and organisation that is done lovingly and then there is cleanliness and organisation that is done with an imposition and a demand on the body. The difference is that one genuinely feeds and supports back the body whilst the other one depletes it. In the same way the disregard of being imposing and rigid with ones cleanliness or organisation can drain one just as much as the disregard and lack of care with having left a mess. Neither is what supports, but when you hold a standard of loving care and cleanliness and respect for self and others and the space one is in, then there is so much more to be gained on all levels.
I love having spaces around me neat and tidy and I do feel a little ‘out of sorts’ when things are disorganized or dirty around me. But at the same time, I am very much also learning to let go of an attachment to things being a certain way or clean to a certain standard and allowing my life to be more simple. For example sometimes I am super tired but still will clean up a mess and over-ride my body’s cues to leave it for the next morning to clean up. Or I can get too involved in cleaning up someone else’s mess and then tire myself from taking on what is/was not my responsibility. This is all a learning curve for me and at times I find it super frustrating and other times I am in the flow of it and love the responsibility of this as it supports and energises me right back.
Leonne, I love what you have shared about how a mess around us can really interfere with how can get things done – not just from a practical aspect of doing things but also on an energetic level too how we can feel bogged down. This is something I can certainly relate to.
‘I’m sure most people would list living in a clean and orderly environment as being high on their list of self-care priorities.’ It would actually be really interesting to find out what people’s self-care priorities are and also how easy it would be for people to list these. Would it be something they know instantly or something that would have to be really thoughts about. Also while writing this I am just wondering what my self-care priorities are now and also how these have changed over the years
Absolutely Vicky our evolution is all about self-care, then being self-loving as our foundation to being in a Truly Loving relationship in all we do and thus not to compromise on any task as they all support the next step in us evolving.
‘At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.’ From my constant learning it is far better to look at how we live and work with this than to cast our eyes outside and look at how others live and judge. After all who are we to judge another when undoubtedly we have a lot we need to clear, on all levels, in our own lives!
This is a great blog Leonne and I want to understand where judgement of one self and others come from? Is it a learned expression from siblings, family, school and or the work place? Why do we judge, what do we get out of it? It is after all a horrible trait that human-beings have.
I love your honesty here. What are we avoiding when we create mess? This is so true ‘When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.’ There are quite a few messy areas in my life all around home and work. Which have been really niggling me for ages but I have not given myself the space to just .. well clear space … that is up until now where I have just cleared so much at work and about to start on my home and it feels really good.
Though I have a lot to do I am inspired to clean the house. My life is one of priorities and sticking to completing these is very supportive, as is when other things need to be taken care of, to not be harsh on myself for not having the time to do what I would like to have done.
And how lovely is it to come home to a bed that has been made up with care and love, or to come home to a house that is clean and tidy – so much to appreciate and love you back, a true support to love oneself up.
We have to prioritise in our busy world, bringing support and care for ourselves helps support others, ‘When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.’
“I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore”. I realise I have had a relationship with many such activities being a chore and a heaviness around them, thankfully I am now learning how deeply loving these activities actually are and how adding a bit of lightness and fun makes a world of difference.
As kids, we do seem to see that cleaning up is a chore, we fight it, resent it and avoid it. But even though this was the case for me, I did get to experience and feel the gorgeousness of order, space and lightness when it was done. It left a tangible marker that I have come to appreciate as an adult and I now truly enjoy the feeling of being in a space that has order and no clutter.
Space feels much more beautiful to be in than a cluttered environment, ‘And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.’
Significant that although for a long time you managed to shove everything under your bed, out of sight was certainly not out of mind, neither was this able to stop you from feeling the impact of what you were choosing. It is remarkable the number of things in life we can keep looking good on the surface, when at the foundational level it is all in a mess and regardless of how well we kid ourselves we can all deeply feel it.
Cleaning up the mess in our body is an ongoing task – especially it seems when we are in our elder years and have managed to accumulate many not so supportive habits on the way. Being kind to ourselves as we gradually feel what our body gets nourishment from or not lets us lovingly let go of substances that hold us back from being the vital beings we really are and when we go against ourselves more kindness and firm love needed.
Cleaning provides for the space and clarity to go out into the world. If things are a mess – I cannot support people without making things complicated.
How ordered we are externally is a reflection of how ordered we are internally.
Yes absolutely … very revealing in many ways.
Often when we get to a place where we are living, or maybe working, in a big mess, the thought of starting the process of cleaning it up can become rather overwhelming therefore never begun; and so the mess grows. But I have found that by taking one thing, one pile, one area at a time and working with it very gently and lovingly, I begin to feel enlivened because as the mess decreases, my energy for the task increases and the task becomes easier and easier.
Spot on Ingrid, every little area counts in the clean up and is amazing in its support back. And I have also noticed sometimes when tackling an area that has not been cleaned in a while, there can be a grumpiness or even anger that comes up – I feel this is the grumpiness of having allowed that level of mess to accumulate to begin with! But once cleaned up you feel like your body has been renewed and re-energised too!
When we have an area of neglect (like an overly messy room), it affects everything else we do, all our movements during the day. It is a good way to be less than who we could be.
It’s always such a great read Leonne, packed with wisdom and insight from your experiences. “Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.” This is so different to our usual reasons for cleaning and brings a joy to each activity knowing we are supporting ourselves and our connection.
We can hang onto to something for life time’s so that it becomes an ingrained habit, which is then extremely hard to let go of because we think it is part of our essential make up of who we are when in fact it is not.
To truly self-care we need to first have connected with the fact that we are more than just flesh and blood because then everything that we do will come from a knowing that we are divine and therefore deserve much more.
We are more than flesh and blood, so the quality we bring to whatever we do will have an impact on all, ‘I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do.’
Whenever I leave my house I am feeling into if I want to come back in what I leave behind. Sometimes I go back and bring some order, usually small things, but attention to detail feels important, coming back home can be very confirming or even offering us evolution.
We can fake it as much as we want but if it is not true there will always be a niggle of anxiety that we will be exposed. The only counter to this is our commitment to the way we live.
“I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place” — such an encouraging way to see and to embrace any necessary de-cluttering whatever the inhibiting factor in our lives.
It is the energy that we live with and in that is the key, What use is a tidy house if it is devoid of love?
Yes, the energy we live in and with is key.
I love clearing up but have definitely used ‘keeping up appearances’ as a way to avoid the ultimate clear up within myself. Enjoying a new phase of honesty, I realise that there is such a deep well of appreciation in clearing up when done in love and honouring of myself and others.
I can put both hands up to being one who used to tidy up to simply “keep up appearances” but there was always an underlying niggle that this was being rather dishonest, which was really highlighted when I couldn’t find what I had hidden away. These days I love tidying up for me and I know that anyone else coming into my space will naturally get to feel the quality of that care.
Order around me supports me being at ease and productive each day.
I’ve put myself on a program of completing things when that is on offer, so to put something away straight away and not leave it or put it somewhere where it doesnot belong. I love order and simplicity and completion is helping me to build this more and more in my life in every area and to not take delay for granted.
I love order, simplicity, and things being put in their place, when I am travelling I attend to this first as it supports me to settle.
Keeping up appearances is one of the most dangerous habits to form because you start to live two lives (maybe more) in order to keep the illusion going. The impact on the nervous system just works its way to the surface.
And you can’t hide it anyway – everybody knows that something is being hidden.
We are certainly understanding so much more how important order and attention to detail is.
Yes love it, when we let go of the stale and stagnant there will always be something fresh, clear and beautiful to take its place.
There is no stagnation in the flow. All that is needed in the moment is offered with simplicity and ease.
I love things simple clear and orderly, but I find if I have let things go and am starting to get in a mess I feel very unsettled in my head, I used to do a clean when people were coming and wondered why I didn’t do it just for me, now I can clean for myself and feel the loving care I have for my home and how that supports me and my family.
Beautiful to hear how you now bring loving care to yourself, and your home, ‘When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.’
Trying to ‘keep up appearances’ is such hard work. Equally, rushing round to keep something tidy just so people think well of us is not honouring of ourselves, because it places their opinion of us higher than our opinion of us which clearly isn’t right at all.
There is an area in my life that is messy and that’s my computer, it takes a lot of my time to find the information that I need and it makes it very slow. So I will start to clean up this mess just like i religiously choose to do in our house everyday.
Bringing out in the open our messy behaviours allows us to feel more of the love that we are, as the space that the ‘junk’ was taking up residence in has been cleaned out to reveal our true nature.
‘As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life. ‘ So true. When my house is a mess it’s a direct reflection of my internal mess and when I clean it with loving understanding both outside and in are cleared of the rubbish that was clogging me up.
What I find is when I am present with myself, tidying up and cleaning naturally comes as part of completing an action/task. And your sharing just reminded me how as a child I used to regularly get an impulse to reorganize my drawers and tidy things up to rearrange my room. I used to love the feeling of new each time I did that. But this is not happening very often any more, and what you say about making a mess to avoid power feels to have something to do with that, and I can truly feel how letting go of what no longer serves and creating space for what’s next is so very important. Even going through one pile of paperwork and getting rid of most of it makes a huge difference.
I used to have a room in the house that was like a dumping ground, anything I didn’t know what to do with would end up in there and then every now and again I would do a mammoth clean up. That room now has been reclaimed and it feels lovely to go in there and I realise that I do know what to do with everything , everything has a home and if it needs a temporary resting place that place will offer itself up.
One of the things I have observed with myself is the importance of finishing the clean-out I started. I can make a start in a room or cupboard, but if I don’t really finish it by for example not putting things up for sale, but putting that aside for later, then there is this dragging feeling. It is like my body doesn’t settle completely until everything that needs to go and be done is complete. And it really works for me to stay focussed on one room or cupboard and finish that first otherwise I leave or skip the ‘difficult’ things.
The energetic imprints that we leave everywhere we go are our greatest clean up project….and most of us do not consider the mark we make when we dump our issues on others, or on our bodies. Our attitudes to cleaning up our mess physical and energetic is critical, we can not move on with truth until we are prepared to do so.
Yes that feels very true and yet there are not that many who have walked the path of responsibility on that level before. To the best of our ability it is vital that each and every one of us has a go, because then we can bring deeper understanding to the importance of the energetic imprints we leave, not simply the physical ones.
I am in the process of cleaning my house and garden at another level, which feels like an activity of taking greater responsibility for my own body as well. Another aspect of this clean-up is also to clear out the negative thoughts I have about myself, which really are the most toxic things to have allowed in.
I agree, Janet, what a beautiful clear-out, letting go of negative thoughts. Very inspiring. There will probably be things in the house and garden related to this. (In Dutch we would say:) ‘Something to stay on top off’ otherwise this could be the foundation for a lot of weed or mess.
I have found that too, you don’t just clean one space – the body, the mind, the home – even the car all seem to have a relationship.
“Cleaning Up My Mess” – if you want to feel a change in yourself , sense a new direction, confirm something was the thing for you to do, there is nothing better than to do a spot of cleaning to feel genuinely lighter in the yourself and in how you walk, talk, move, dress as a result.
Oh the game of hiding things behind closed doors. One I know well when in fact I can feel the disharmony which shows that everything is what we feel and the energy first before it is the physical appearance. And secondly – that we are being asked to go to a deeper level of care when we feel the disharmony.
The tucking things ‘behind closed doors’ so doesn’t work for me anymore (well actually it never did but I chose to be blind to this fact)… if I try and get away with a cover up job, I carry the weight of it with me until it is properly attended to.
It is beautiful to have our homes clean and tidy, because there is a feeling of lightness in each room and a lightness in the body, and the more detail we bring the more space we feel.
“When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.” The more loving and tender I am with myself the more I get to appreciate who I truly am.
I used to run around tidying and cleaning my house just before visitors arrive and sometimes I still do this. But now, I enjoy cleaning for me and knowing that this is not just for me but for everyone who enters my house too, and I now see cleaning in a very different light. I am also working on committing to life more and more and can see how this affects everything in my life from cleaning, working, to how I eat and look after my body.
What you’ve shared here about cleaning applies to everything – that messy kitchen drawer, our desk or locker at work, our inbox, our laptop.. if there’s undealt with stuff hanging around, it feels like a lag and a drag, silently draining us because we know it’s there but are trying to pretend to ourselves that we don’t need to deal with it. When we do eventually tackle it, we can feel quite a lot lighter, with the space and awareness ready to deal with next thing ahead of us.
I love what you’ve shared Bryony and you’ve reminded me that everything matters. It is so important to keep our space clear, free of clutter and free of complication. It makes sense that this applies to all areas of our life.
Oh I couldn’t agree more Bryony. I feel every time I go to my outlook the heaviness and drain because it’s full of rubbish. We can never underestimate the pockets we hold stuff in that does not serve us and how that affects our bodies and our relationships.
It is a super loving thing to do to have a clean and orderly space around us but what happens if the space around us is not clean and tidy and is not of our own making? It is also a super loving thing to do to ourselves and to others when we pull them up too to treat the space around them with love and respect as it has a knock-on-effect on everyone whether it is in our home or at our workplace.
I have noticed how many people ask what we have done to the house when we do a clean up – it is like they start breathing more easily from the increased space.
I find the way I am around the house and at work in terms of tidiness or mess is a direct reflection of the way I am feeling on the inside. When I’m feeling great then even the smallest thing out of order I can feel, yet when I have let myself go and withdrawn then the it doesn’t matter comes in and before I know it chaos has descended!
So true James. Back in the day when I didn’t feel great I would let so many things slide. Nowadays I feel so much better about myself and am more empowered I notice what’s awry. Needing to make time to clear out more clutter – again!
I love it Sue, it feels like a never ending declutting and discarding of the old. I find say with clothes if something does not feel like it supports me then I do not go to wear it. Even if it may have supported me before so for me as well it is learning to let go of what no longer supports and embrace the new.
Many years ago we would clean the house in a frenzy, shoving things into black bags and putting them in the cupboard to be re-visited when the guests had gone. Even with all of that effort and everything tidy and cleaned, the house never felt great after one of these episodes and to me did not feel clean.
The intention behind all of our actions is of more import than the outcome, for here in lies the foundation of energetic integrity. We can keep everything neat and in order and yet if the intent is to keep up appearances it is based on an empty foundation.
Well said, the intention behind it all is far more telling than what is seen.
I have committed myself to fully clean my kitchen after dinner. I had this habbit of just leaving one thing (like a knife in the sink) or not cleaning the stove. Since I made the choice to do this, this had a ripple effect on the rest of my house. Really completing things and then move on to the next moment.
Great sharing Mariette, I can relate. It feels amazing when we can go to bed knowing we have completion in our day and when we leave the kitchen clean and tidy ready to greet us the next morning with order and simplicity, it feels deeply supportive.
It is amazing how naturally I keep things tidy and clean when I am feeling great and myself and do it without even any effort, it just gets done. Whereas when I start to let myself go, get tired etc. then I stop doing the very things which support me. And it does not take very long before I find that I am living in a mess and it is effecting the way I am. Just like when everything is in order we feel the spaciousness we too feel the opposite when our place is in disorder, we just don’t always want to admit it!
I just love going away for a few days and coming back to my house with new eyes, so to speak. There are always changes to make and gradually it is becoming a lighter, brighter and more inspirational place to be. There is still a lot to let go of and I have asked for some help with this – I feel this will unload a lot in all areas of my life, not just my house. There is also the area around the house, the sheds and garage and barn, they all have an energetic part to play.
Not only do we have physical mess we also have energetic mess, for example, when we react to another or to a situation. The mess created from our reaction needs to be cleaned up, just as much as physical mess.
‘Cleaning up our mess is a task that goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world. As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life.’ This is a profound connection to make and a profound realisation to have, for the way forward in changing what has always been can be made with greater understanding.
The house is not just the house; it is our body in repose. When we create mess and disorganization, what we are doing is to create the perfect setting for us not to be able to access multidimensionality in our fullest extent. It is a self-organized set up.
When cleaning is completed because one feels like it and is loving up the space, the imprint that is left is far more beautiful to come back to than the imprint that is left when we feel forced or are not wanting to do it. But we also need to ask why we would not want to do something that supports the body and the family etc – perhaps we have over-extended ourselves in one area and are tired, and our disregard from one area is now affecting us in another area? Such simple understanding takes away all judgements, and allows space for true change.
Every thing that we do has a quality about how we do it, like an energetic imprint if you like, and we can make things look a certain way but this does not mean that energetically it is done with the very same energetic imprint that lies deep within our core – our natural innate essence. It is the expression of or the free and unhindered flow of this inner essence that allows a true quality to emanate into everything we do, and this carries with it self care, self love, love etc naturally so. Learning to live and express from this natural essence can be challenging in a world that fosters the opposite.
Six years ago, we had a loft, and this became our storage unit for all the belongings relating to projects, hobbies, unwanted items, children’s toys etc. The attic was decked out with racking, panelled flooring and orderly to some degree but I got to the point where I could not sleep with this mass on top of me and became very aware of the effects of having this area of the house full to the brim. We have moved three times since then and no longer have a loft space for storage, only a tiny little garage which is too small to fit a modern-day car in.
“Now I can see that I have used mess as a (somewhat putrid) security blanket to help me dull down what I feel.” This is such a common theme across our lives. How often do we use dramas or clutter to mask the simplicity life could be, should be and in fact is?
“When my ruse was eventually discovered, I felt a mixture of shame and relief.” It takes a huge amount of effort to keep up appearances and the stress is all on our shoulders because the illusion is ours!
In cleaning up the physical, material mess we are responsible for in our own spaces, homes, workplaces .. we support in cleaning up the internal mess that is also inside our bodies as well as the communities we live in, and our world. Taking care of ourselves is taking care of everything else we in our whole form and entirety, are a collective part of.
“When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself” – this ought to be part of a work/company’s mission statement Leonne since the relationship with ourselves is what produces the company’s success through its corporate, company, work culture. We set the culture by the culture of ourselves.
Creating mess or being super organised both come with levels of complication that we choose rather than to stay present and feel the simplicity and flow of life that is on offer.
How common is to live in a mess and only tidy up for guests. Of course it will be a chore if we don’t realise the beauty and blessing that occurs when we care-ingly tidy up our space.
Keeping up appearances to the outside world is something most of us are taught growing up. No matter what, suck it up and put a brave face on is an expression I remember hearing – but where is the truth and love in that. Essentially we are being taught to mask what we are feeling so we can fit in and succeed in the world by losing our true nature and moulding ourselves into a chameleon.
Spot on James – you have nailed it here in this comment – anything forced is going to be devoid of true love and care. But that said, we also cannot operate in a world where no one wants to partake and clean and organise things (which can often happen in our real world). Hence, we must ask why we sometimes feel like not doing something that we know will support and help ourselves and others…without judgement and with full willingness to understand.
Thank you Henrietta, no force but plenty of purpose and definitely getting stuck in and hands on in life. No one is above any job however insignificant it may seem. Are we willing to commit to the living the love we are in full not simply for ourselves but to show others they too can do, be and are the same? Or are we happy to have our piece of cake whilst others stay in the mud?
I get up and get ready for work each morning and making my bed each morning has become a ritual, plus my bedroom feels more complete. I have the same routine every morning which is very supportive to start my day, but the key is in the quality I make my bed as this is what I will come back to in the evening.
I love the feeling when I clear out clutter in my home, there is a feeling of expansion and lightness making space for something new.
What we do to our bodies we do to our homes, for example if we trash our bodies then no matter how superficially clean our house is it is being affected by the way we are treating our body.
When our homes are not ordered, clean and tidy we cannot but feel messy ourselves.
Being on the journey of accepting and returning to the greatness we are – everything, that does not belong to it gets highlighted immediately. It is a never ending rhythm of letting go and unfolding. The most joyful, although sometimes challenging, path of life I can imagine.
The highlights can often come thick and fast that can feel overwhelming but we are also offered an opportunity to feel the grandness we come from.
For me there is no better way to leave my home complete, when my bed is done and everything looks and feels like I want to be welcomed, when I enter it again. The moment you leave with a clear and loving energy in any room you are in, this energy will lift you up coming back and settles a beautiful foundation to expandfrom.
Absolutely, and this awareness comes with a simple willingness to see what you have perhaps not been prepared to see to that point. So just as you can feel the support of leaving a room with so much Love that no matter what happens in your day, that is the Love you come back to, conversely if you come back into a room that you have not left to support yourself when you come back you can see it and feel it!
So often my external environment reflects my internal environment – the moment I leave things out and things get messy and out of order I know I too am not living the potential and fullness of the love that I am. One of the things which takes me out and starts me to leave things out is when I get caught up in time and getting things done because I run with the feeling that I don’t have enough time to do that when I actually have ample time. Something I then find is the more everything is in order the more I then can supported and the more I feel with myself, able to let go and surrender without the thoughts of I need to do this or that.
What I have learnt about cleaning up ones mess, is that it there is a greater responsibility to this than I ever imagined. I have learnt that there are consequences for the actions we take in life. For the first time I get the law of physics about the opposite and equal effects of energy. I now really understand passed lives and the effect of Karma that is carried from life to life. I personally feel that I have spent most of this life clearing my irresponsibility from my past lives where now I stand clear as it were ready to go forward.
This I has to say is all thanks to the teaching and presentation of Serge Benhayon and his family who have supported me and thousands of others to understand the great profoundness of life and that we are much more than we seem. I have learnt the truth of this.
When we look at things with a lightness of heart no mess is too big to start cleaning up.
Very true Leonne, we can ‘think’ we or someone else may have destroyed everything but in each moment we have an opportunity to learn and as soon as we do then we can clean it up and go even deeper with the love that we are. Nothing in the world is stronger or bigger or too much to handle than the love we are.
Taking steps towards a responsibility no matter how big or small is a marker of moving towards living at ease with the world.
We cling to cleanliness as an answer in itself, but it’s not. What it offers us is a powerful reflection of what’s truly going on energetically in our life. Maybe our house is spotless but tightly controlled? Maybe it’s pretty clean but cluttered where we go to bed? It’s all just offering us a metaphor for how we choose to live our life – thank you Leonne.
It is utterly important to not get blinded by any ticked boxes superficially. As you say, some households may look very clean, but the energy in which it was done is more than breath- taking in a real sense. We all feel energy way before we react towards any visual end product. Announcing the energy will eventually support you to come back to a true flow of cleaning instead of ticking boxes or staying in the mess of holding back/ abuse.
Thank you Leonne, this is a very supportive blog which I receive healing and insights from for myself with each read. I appreciated what you wrote about keeping things clean and tidy not just being about your dedication to self care, but also about your dedication to order – I had not really considered that point before.
We do know that it is obvious… But starting with the simplest things can turn overwhelm into a flow.
We can present ourselves as being organised but still feel the tension of control that does not allow us to feel the flow and simplicity that we can all live.
I love anything to do with cleaning but do not have as much time as I would like to devote to it. Having said that I’ve just cleaned the living room of my study books and it feels amazing to clear this space – today I finished my course, and it seemed fitting to find a home for the books. Mini celebration in the form of cleaning – love it.
Yes, there is a completion when you can put things away in their rightful place without stuffing them in a cupboard. I always feel like I am either doing it properly or just putting it off for another day.
Learning to clean up our mess is best learned at a young age because it is something that we have to do for the rest of this life and when we return to do it all again and again and again.
I agree Elizabeth, if we learn to clean up our mess at a young age, we are learning responsibility, which is a great foundation to continue building and growing on.
It is interesting, this notion that a messy environment can actually be a barrier to feeling. Because everything can be felt all of the time, there is no great secret to this, energy is present in everything and as energetic being we can surly be aware of and feel everything too. So, to construct or to configure our environments in such a way that creates a dullness is quite clever really, and just goes to show how much sensitivity there is within us all.
It is a truly liberating thing to clean up our own mess, irrespective of how big or small that mess actually is.
Our homes are a reflection of our bodies… Every time I have shifted and cleared or healed something from inside, ( and old belief or hurt), this has always followed by the impulse to clean and declutter my living space: as the old saying goes; as within so without.
When I give care, and attention to any room in my home, it always feels so much warmer, so much more inviting and open. Everything counts even the small touches of love by adding a bunch of flowers or burning a smelly candle. Each touch of love building and communicating what needs sorting or doing next.
Mess can be such a great place to hide but in fact it clouds our view and outlook on life, so when we clean it up, we naturally feel more space and in that space we can commit more deeply to both ourselves and life. And the idea that if we do find something rotten in our clean-up, it’s an opportunity to let it go and in that we have more space to feel more of who we are and the power we really are.
If we are using mess to hide then it could be said that in some of those cases mess is a form of protection. Not something we would normally associate mess with!
I love how life plays out and shows everything what is happening inside us with symbols or scenarios that just represents everything. Like keeping the garbage underneath your bed- showing you you are holding onto stuff and don´t want to be as clear as you could be. Especially during night we clear ourselves from all the intensities of the day, burdening us with items underneath the bed, that are unsupportive, logically will make it harder energetically for us to become clear. How everything is a reflection for us and that true change in the outer starts always first with a YES to ourselves.
I can certainly remember that cleaning up when I was young was a bit of a chore. I still carry the left-overs of that with me but I so love living in a beautiful clean clear house that I surrender to the cleaning and then end up really enjoying it. It is especially lovely when someone else is also cleaning alongside you, as it were, and a dialogue about the new upgrade happens!
‘I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore.’ I certainly felt that cleaning was a chore, something to brace myself for, harden and get on with. But what if we see it as a beautifully supportive tool to support us to feel great in life… who does not feel gorgeous in their body when a room is tidy, clean and everything is in place?
I love cleaning, de-cluttering, cleansing … for the change and shift you can feel afterwards in yourself and in the energy of the place. It feels lighter, brighter, zestier. Conversely, hoarding stuff feels dead, heavy, sluggish.. and the body moves or has those same qualities too. It really is a no-brainer to keep things as simple as you can, to operate in life as simple as you can too.
I love de-cluttering and cleaning as well! It is a constant support I supply myself to have a new foundation of truth and adjusting to the level I am at. And in fact whoever that visits our home, gets the blessing of a pure and claimed space as well.
My personal “no go” area is a drawer full of messy stuff that doesn’t belong anywhere, and often isn’t even needed. It sits like a drain hole sucking any ability to confirm the order that is so loved by me. In my new home, a detox is occurring that is leaving no stone unturned given there is no space for anything that is not needed. It occurs to me that regardless of whether a home is large or small, there is still no space truthfully for anything that is not needed.
That could be a quite confronting but a liberating process, I know for me I have held beliefs that I need to “hang onto things just in case I need them in the future”.
I know that “hang onto things just in case I need them in the future” very well, and at the same time I just love clearing, throwing things out so that I can feel space everywhere in my house and an order and rhythm that supports.
So what do we not want to deal with or truly feel? As to me a mess anywhere in our life reflects this … and I know this one well! Being with this more what I can feel for me is an underlying anxiousness yet when I do clear spaces it feels really good and very supportive so therefore is creating a mess ultimately about sabotaging ourselves to not be all that we can be and for life to be simple and have a true order and flow?
Cleaning up our mess, whether it is refining our diet, saying no to abusive thoughts and behaviours is a necessary part of bringing self care into our lives.
“When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are” .. otherwise it gets hidden under a mountain of stuff!
Cleaning up for me also is similar to completing. Without completion, nothing new and even bigger, grander and more loving and glorious can start. So a very supporting action for me to put in my daily rhythm. Also so that I don’t have to take it into my sleep and cause restlessness there.
No matter how small I may think something is tidying it up no doubt has an impact on my body. It makes me appreciate whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’ the impact everything around me has on me and everyone who lives in and enters my home.
The effects of living in a clean and tidy house (and driving in a similar car) are big. Recently with clearing out the big storage room I have upstairs so much ‘old and not needed stuff’ came out it felt amazing to let go of and feel the space this literally made in my body. Space for more love!
It does feel amazing to work through what we store in our homes and lives, everything either needs to have a purpose or needs to, I do not mean that we can not have something there for beauty and enjoyment, I love flowers, but I can feel how much I have hung on to stuff and how it has physically and energetically got in the way.
More than making my bed, I love feeling how I have made my bed when I get back into it at night. Which leads me back to how I am when I make my bed in the morning. Through this I am learning that no moment is separate from another and that through simple actions such as make our beds, we can deepen what we feel in our bodies. Quite extraordinary really.
I love that fact too, that everything is actually building on the next moment and we can choose how the next movement will have the possibility to expand, because of the movement that led to it. And how supportive it is, when you might have lost your connection throughout your day and you are coming back to your bed made in connection in the morning, you get energetically reminded of the truth. You are actually supporting yourself constantly by your own movements.
Thank you Jennifer, more than ticking the box of getting things done is the reason why we do things, is it simply because it has to be done or because we love and care for ourselves and others? A bed can be made both ways but the one made with love feels amazing to return to and sleep in at night.
We can never judge another person for where they are at, because to even have an opinion would require one to stand in their shoes for at least a year if not many in order to give a clear and concise understanding of all the pressures and challenges that this person faces each day. Therefore we could say that the internal world that another person is experiencing and which is being expressed out in to the physicality of life is not to be dismissed or cast aside as unimportant and is actually to be considered at all times.
It’s very true Shami, a judgement can happen in seconds and label a person, whereas understanding, or at least a willingness to understand, allows us to learn and stay open, and to develop wisdom about people and life. Judgement is a just dead end cutting off the love we can hold others in and the learning.
Connecting with the purpose behind why I’m doing something really makes a difference to the quality in which I do it and my motivation to do it as well I find. Like you share the difference between cleaning as a chore, or to just keep up appearances as opposed to because you know the difference it makes energetically as well as physically to the space you live in and that others also come into…
I love making my bed and keeping the house clear – it feels so supportive and keeps me clear too!
“I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore”. Totally. When I read that I was like, absolutely, that is/was the same for me. I remember my Mum to get my sisters and brother to clean, she used to make it a ‘tornado’ and we had to clean as fast as we can to get it done. So whilst it was a bit fun, the premise was more on getting it done fast, to get the chore over and done with.
There is a vast difference between clearing and tidying up for ourselves and clearing and tidying because of another or situation. The latter is that our movements come from outside ourselves and not from us. I feel like a robot contracted and diminished when this happens as there is no connection to self. When I clear space for myself and everyone who enters it there’s an openess, a freeing up and the room feels so much bigger that it is no wonder that I feel the reflection of expansiveness in my body. Sensing and making it about purpose for the all cleaning, clearing and decorating becomes a joy.
True self care is a key ingredient in returning us to know and live the truth of who we are.
It’s not so much I allow everyday mess to build up around me but when I have an impulse to clear out a cupboard or do some decorating and I begin, somewhere in the middle I get distracted and then everything gets left! So in effect I feel what needs to be done and say yes to that – step 1, I begin the process of clearing out – step 2 and then in the middle I begin to feel the expansion in my body and I wobble! So step 3 is saying yes to the expansion and step 4 is accepting the expansion and the what is more into my life. Sounds simple – work in progress
I too love order and simplicity, and it is great to understand that making our bed daily is a part of us committing to ourself and to life.
The way we do things completely matters – it makes everything healing or harming.
The underlying reason behind why we are doing something can make such a difference to how we feel about doing it and the way in which we go about it as well.
So true Fiona for when we understand the reason why we are not so hard on ourselves for our own and others imperfections.
The old adagio: this is my home, I have the right to do as pleased here has to be read: I have the right to do as pleased with my body. And, you indeed have the capacity to decide the quality you want for your body (ergo for your home).
I can relate too what you’ve said Leonne, ‘I dearly love simplicity and order’ but I tend to delay cleaning up for instance doing the dishes after my lunch or dinner, I just postpone the moment and stay in the mess for an hour or more and this does not sit true in my body, it is a comfort I allow myself to be in, a childish stubbornness of ‘I decide when I will do it’ do you know what I mean?
“And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” I so agree, as i am currently undergoing a major de-cluttering process myself.
Getting caught up in what things look like leaves us empty and hollow. The only thing that fills us up is a true connection with ourselves.
You are not kidding Mary!
I am spending my life now clearing up after all the mess I have made for aeons – not speaking up, giving my power away, judging people and getting immensely frustrated, protecting myself with images about what is pure and failing to discern that there is a false good . . .and the list goes on. Still clearing up!
Lyndy I can so relate to what you have shared here, I’m clearing up the mess I have left behind from past lives and sometimes the feeling I get with this is very unpleasant to deal with.
Thanks again Leonne, some great gems here for me including “I grew up feeling that cleaning was either a punishment or a chore” and that cleaning and making beds etc, are a waste of time. These beliefs still operate in me almost like an image of what cleaning is, instead of it being a natural expression of our self love and the order and support it offers us back. I know for me too getting out of it was always highly prized as a teen, as there was this over riding belief cleaning was somehow the bad job to have to do, and it was something that was resented, often felt exhausting, especially if there were other fun things to do. It wasn’t always like that but overall cleaning was like drawing the short straw! All of those imposing beliefs and reactions get in the way of feeling the true relationship we have with cleaning and what it offers us, particularly when we can clean with the quality of love from our soul.
Having order in our environment is so important as it allows things to flow more easily.
I am someone who lives a clean and orderly life. I work cleaning other peoples homes which is a real blessing and offers me so much in return. It was many years ago I realised I did not give the same attention to detail in my home as I did in the homes I cleaned during the day. So I booked my own weekly clean with myself and wow this was an amazing decision. Wednesday was my booked clean and what I would notice for the rest of the week after the clean was my home sparkled back at me the love and care I had supported it with on the previous Wednesday, it felt so amazing to feel this….
That’s lovely Toni, I’ve noticed I also can give more attention to someone else’s home if I’m helping out, there can be a real “I don’t matter as much” consciousness instead of supporting myself with equal love. Your booked clean is an awesome and fun way to enjoy your expression of love in your home.
Yes I agree Melinda and the fun keeps coming everytime I walk into a room and it twinkles its shine at me… very lovely and extremely nurturing….
When we consider cleaning and caring for our space as part of our commitment to ourselves it really opens things up, and indeed it also supports in our commitment to life. I love cleaning, because as I do it I feel how I’m setting up the space for the next thing whatever that may be, that there is a space for next and there is a clarity I can feel in me and my body. This is all something that’s unfolded for me over the last 10 years and it’s amazing to feel how I live now in comparison to 10 years ago and how with my deepening commitment to order I’m now more committed to life and the world in general.
I agree our quality is always super important, ‘I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do.’
From my experience, something I know too well is that the hardest part of cleaning up any mess is taking that first step as the mess usually feels overwhelming and we wonder where to start. But what I have also discovered is that once I take that first step, and making it a small and achievable one, everything else seems to flow and I end up wondering why I put it off for so long in the first place. Procrastinating doesn’t usually make the mess any messier but it does make it feel so much bigger in our mind, and the longer we put it off the ‘bigger’ it gets.
I agree Ingrid, something that seems big to tackle often only takes me half an hour and I wonder why I put it off.
“My choice to make my bed has become as important to me as getting dressed” . . . just as cleaning up after a meal is just as important as eating it. Making our bed and cleaning up after ourselves is a natural completion of the activities of sleeping and eating. It is great to complete all that we do. In fact, if we complete for example cleaning our teeth with wiping down the bathroom mirror and basin we walk away from the bathroom with everything polished instead of walking away with clean teeth and a basin splashed with toothpaste! It really is common sense in action.
Love the association of completion with the tasks and activities Kathleen. Interesting I have this habit of always cleaning/drying out around the sink after I use it, be it at the shower room at home, work, public toilets, airplane toilets!
Transformation is possible with inspiration, honesty and commitment.
Mess on the outer reflects the inner world just as much as an obsessively created outer without love and presence can reflect a desperate need for a counter to the inner turmoil and chaos.
Spot on Gabriele. There is no strictness to order whatsoever.
I can totally relate to keeping a tidy in order place reflects how we treat ourselves as I am learning that everything is the all and we can’t have one part of our life a mess without it effecting every other part. AS I have said I actually love cleaning once I get started but with everything going on in life for me it is creating the space which I am still learning how to do as well.
If I am honest I have always been a messy person who really doesn’t like the idea of tidying or cleaning until I start, and once started I love it and love the outcome and how it makes me feel so it does make me wonder why my consistency is still a bit wanting.
It’s not the things but the love lived inside the person’s body that makes the home a real home: a place of love.
“When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.” I have gone into anxiousness about this and I realise it is a time to stop and look deeper within, to see what the reflection is trying to tell me.
In my life I have had times where everything was neat as a pin and then gone to a complete mess and I realised that it was my consistency that was really the problem. I am always working on this as it demonstrates my commitment to life.
‘It has taken me a long time to admit that I was making a mess in order to avoid feeling how powerful, aware and responsible I really am’. Love the honesty here, which is a super invitation to get honest with ourselves and how we are living and expressing in our homes, at work and in all our relationships.
I am about to start to do a thorough declutter , starting in one room only (I hope I can stay in one room ). Reading your sharing again has helped me to re focus my energy for the job and I look forward to it!
“For quite some time now I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.” This is such an important point about our quality we are imprinting into the space and objects as we clean them. There is so much to be said about our ‘quality’ of presence and what is left there when we leave it for others.
When the kitchen is dirty or messy I also don’t feel to cook until it is clean… sometimes I’ve cleaned out the entire fridge too and recycled old food so I can see clearly what is there to cook. Like everyday life, it’s the clarity and simplicity that I’m looking for and love.
This brings cleaning and tidying to another level, not as a most do, or a should do, but as a support for us in how we are and how we live, and I was struck by what you said about using mess as a security blanket to not feel how powerful we are, and I’m now considering what I do and what messes I create to do the same … time to let a few more go.
When we first start cleaning things out it is amazing to realise how much we have hung on to, and how little we actually need.
Yes very true Jenny, I recently cleared out about 30% of my wardrobe and I don’t even notice the difference, in fact I can now see what other clothing doesn’t support me anymore.
Once upon a time I was a non-bed maker, now I really enjoy making it with my husband each morning, it is never missed, no matter how late I am for work, it is just a part of my life. I would love to get to this stage with folding my clothes, my room is very clean but my wardrobe can easily go astray. Folding of my clothes is the first thing to go when I am in a hurry and let’s just say that I am in a hurry a lot. Knowing that this is a reflection for my relationship with myself makes it even more difficult, as I can get myself down by critiquing my messy cupboard. I am working on bringing more appreciation to myself in the day and I am feeling that this will grow my personal regard and love for myself. Every day, there is something more to work on and evolve, if you are wanting to shift unwanted patterns and habits.
Well said Sarah, we are works in progress and we use many ways to delay it, regularly.
I am in the midst of moving homes and having moved previously found it stressful at times and tiresome. But this time I have felt a real flow of simplicity and have found it fun too. I have been packing a few boxes each week and not leaving it to the last minute taking care to pack the items and really enjoying the cleaning out process. Showing me that my movements that have got me to the next moment will then support me when we unpack the items into our new home. The quality of our energy will ultimately support us long after the movement had even been made and that feels amazing.
Very cool Kelly. Likewise all your choices and the quality of your movements up to this point are what is making the house move fun, planned and organised at this time.
This is a powerful truth to ponder.
In my experience any mess I create is the consequence of delay and thereby creating even more of a delay by avoiding to take responsibility to clean up the mess; it´s a vicious cycle that actually can easily be stopped. It just needs to do what needs to be done.
I used to judge the tidy up as a boring and a ‘secondary activity’. Because of that, I ended up in the past in a some kind of mess, controlled in some way, but messy at the end of the day. I wasn’t fully commited with this because I didn’t appreciate enough the order and the quality I live in when the space where I live is cleared. Now I don’t differenciate activities between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ ones like in the past did. I’m realising that I am always the emitter and the receiver of what I bring into my life (directly or indirectly). It’s being a process, but what I feel now is that the more I take care of my space, the more the space also takes care of me… and I even enjoy doing it, because is a way of establishing a good foundation in my life, which supports me more than what can be seen in the physical order achieved.
Love your comment about not differentiating between ‘good’ or ‘bad’ activities. I have been experiencing the same as I realised that although the activity changes, I am the one doing them!
So as you brilliantly said, you are the emitter and the receiver of the activity!
When I notice that I do not approach an activity with the same enthusiasm that I approach other activities I have been exploring different ways to do the task – in ways that support my body position whilst doing the task. It’s been fun and interesting to explore it.
So timely to read this again today as I have been cleaning out my house, specifically moving items of furniture that don’t get moved very often and end up with a big pile of dust behind and under them, as well as some items that I had considered lost. It’s amazing how it feels to clean up this mess in the actual physical way but I can also feel a corresponding ‘cleaning out’ going on throughout my body. Although once the furniture is replaced you can’t see the sparkling clean floor the space feels lighter and so do I. Note to self – remember to do this more often!
Love it Ingrid, the note to self to do those detailed cleaning more often! This morning I decided to do a ‘deep clean’ in the shower plug and had your comment in heart! Even if we are not seeing it, it does feel great.
“As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life” . . . Yes my mess is always a reflection of how I am traveling through time and space. It shows me if I am blindly rushing through or if I am travelling at a steady pace.
“At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in” I fell into this one yesterday (not harsh, but judgement all the same) whilst visiting a tenanted property, it was extreme and long term mess, but I had to pull myself up knowing I have no right to judge and in particular and crucially need to observe where do I live mess is in my own life. And I have to be honest, on the surface there seems a good level of ‘tidiness’, but this is the deception, when I feel and clock the things left incomplete, or placed in an energy of distraction, or ‘oh it (I) doesn’t matter’ comes in for example, it is an equal ‘mess’. Appreciative of this understanding I can ‘tidy-up’ and reflect a deeper level of love.
Leonne, this article is so supportive to read, for years I lived with mess around me and just thought I was a messy person, I have recently realised that I actually love order and being tidy and this feels much more lovely, supportive and natural for me.
So cute Rebecca. We naturally love order, clarity, flow and harmony.
Yes and I find that bringing order, clarity and flow to my movements brings harmony naturally.
I have never really seen as clearly before that dismissing cleaning or attending to things left piling up is a way of dismissing something about ourselves. It feels related also to lack of commitment to life and getting on with the details of life.
“Now I know that cleaning up my mess can support my connection to the truth of who I am. When I make my connection to my Soul my first priority, when I am cleaning or in fact doing anything for myself and the quality is truly caring and supportive, I am then able to offer true support to others.” I love what you have exposed here about what cleaning is really about. It does make such a difference to our lives energetically. It actually feels like a science in energy. Cleaning our environment and what that can reflect back to us, about ourselves is priceless wisdom found in the simplest of reflections. Available to us every day of our lives.
When things get disorganised and messy, whether it’s literally when our home becomes a mess or figuratively in relationships, it’s important to ask two key questions… 1) Why is ‘other work’ or distractions more important than maintaining a supportive space for us and others to live in, and 2) what do we get out of having a messy room or relationship? Could it be that ‘mess’ is sometimes a super effective antidote to how life could otherwise effortlessly flow and feel fantastic?
Really brilliant questions Susie.
There are so many books on self awakening and self-awareness, so many courses, so much information… And yet as you say Leone, when we start the simplest things we can truly start to know ourselves and evolve out of the old paradigms… Simply the mess… That we have lived in.
It’s as simple as that and we like to complicate it to avoid our true power. Heaven forbid, someone find out who we really are and what we are really capable of. We need to stop fighting our own potential.
I choose to come back to this blog today as it resonated so much with me since I first read it and the comments some months ago.
I am usually a very organised person and I absolutely adore order and how it supports the flow of activities in a day.
However I realised a similar pattern of ‘letting some mess accumulate’ slowly and surely, very sneaky! Like pilling clothes in the toilet, pilling papers on my desk, pilling things in my locker at work…
it all starts with what looks like just a ‘tiny’ thing but what I realised is that this ‘tiny’ is already a confirmation of a choice to be dismissive well before or to create a distraction from something I was focused on.
So since then, I have been constantly checking in with myself to not let things pile up or to get dismissed. And it has been amazing to see how much simpler it is to keep things flowing rather than causing little disturbances and distractions along the way.
I can’t say that I concealed my life under the bed in the way you did when you were a kid but I have my own little hiding spots even now as an adult that badly need to be cleared out and exposed. My house looks really tidy, I never leave dishes in sink, I make my bed daily and do the laundry every day, so over all, even if I don’t have guests, my house looks very neat and tidy. Hidden though, are draws full of random stuff and clothes unfolded shoved in my closest, baskets under my closet and baskets that my husband refers to as my nests. Every couple of weeks I will fold everything, put it away and then it just slowly reverts over time. I can really feel from your blog how I use these pockets of disregard as an excuse to not be all of me, to not be in my power. As long as I have my shameful mess, then I couldn’t possibly shine? Thank you for your honesty, it is so appreciated.
When there is order and clarity the space to be more of the love that I am is all there in those moments. I could relate to that creating a mess to avoid how powerful we are. Something to consider in a relationship with another, what space do I bring to that union?
One of the many teachings of Serge Benhayon that has hugely transformed my life has been the understanding that it is one life, everything matters and to bring the same love and energetic quality to everything. I used to be fantastic at work but not always so great in other areas such as caring for myself or my body. The opportunity was to take the area where I rocked and bring that to everything. I have experienced great joy, simplicity and transformation in living that way.
SO cool Nicola. This teaching is something I have been exploring with more detail recently and I cannot agree more with you with the feelings of joy and simplicity of living this way.
I too used to have specific tasks that I would do really well or focus more on. The choice to bring the focus to myself before I do an activity has been showing me how I can have joy and fun in any activity.
When I am facing an activity that I do not enjoy so much, I have been playing with myself and asking how can I make that activity more fun. Sometimes what was required was to make a very simple adjustment in my position when performing the task so that the body does not feel any tension. On other times is accepting that I need to do a specific task! On others it just need some playfulness and to drop any seriousness!
It has been super fun exploring it and applying the same dedication and attention to detail to tasks that were previous ignored.
I am now very particular about how I keep my underwear drawers and my wardrobe. In fact in writing this, it has reminded me that there is one drawer in the kitchen that needs sorting out. These details make a big difference to how I feel each day, and it about acknowledging that how I live matters.
Likewise Debra! I recently noticed that I was finding it difficult to keep my scarves visible and organised in my wardrobe. Just got a very funny hanger for them and every day I love spending time choosing which one I will wear. And great reminder about the kitchen drawer, I can point out one that needs some tidying up too!
I have also judged others when I have clocked the mess in the house, but over time I have let this go with the understanding that is where they are at – and that is okay. So accepting and allowing are key factors in not judging others.
Awesome to read Leonne, as I know this so well, loose ends will be left hanging when we choose to not clean up. Keeping us feeling dull and not up to scratch in life. It is a true reflection and it is an commitment to make to ourselves, and not to anyone else.
So true Benkt it is a commitment to ourselves first and foremost.
I have a very specific rhythm when cooking – I’ll start off getting the room tidy (if needed), then the prep and cooking while tidying up as I go, and wash up what I can before I get to the eating. Its a ritual that for me infuses and informs the whole experience. The settlement I experience from cooking in this way, no matter what kind of day or week I am having, is deeply nurturing – making love in the kitchen.
Sounds fun as well Simon!
Very inspired that when we allow more space in our bodies and in our environments we are allowing ourselves to feel just how more amazing we truly are.
Very cool indeed Adele!
I was helping someone clean out their room and what I realised was, it was more enjoyable than I first thought. Clearing, organising and cleaning felt great. I find it is easy to help others declutter but when it comes to my own room or house I hesitate to start or make excuses to be busy with other things. Decluttering is simple and easy but my mind often makes it more complicated than it is.
Commitment is paramount in developing a true relationship with our bodies, as it is through the consistency of it that we can embrace our true nature within.
This is so supportive to read again Leonne, and another great reminder to examine my relationship to my home, and to see cleaning as an opportunity to express my love and the qualities of my soul in every task.
Yes indivertibly Melinda, our responsibility is to look at each loving act as a blessing and then the next place where ever that is will as be blessed so that we appreciate the space in-between.
‘True self-care simply supports our connection to ourselves.’ And when we are truly caring for ourselves we are caring for everybody and the amazing thing is we find ourselves equally taken care of by those around us whether they be friends family or strangers.
Its an interesting thing to reflect on why we would choose not to clean and therefore live in a messy or even dirty space. I find that some areas are easy but others I find more challenging to clean. Its important to contemplate what this means for each of us in terms of the reflection of each area on the house for ourselves. What I can see is that there are areas in my life that I am willing to compromise on, but what is the effect of this compromise?
There is mess on the outside and sure that is a reflection of something (and could be many things), but this is nothing as compared to a mess on the inside (especially when covered up with a nice controlled environment on the outside). I’d rather see the honest mess then a cover up that makes it difficult to pin down exactly what is happening.
Important point made here regarding our inner quality.
There are so many ways we can reduce and distract ourselves from the otherwise vast space that is all around us – in this space, everything is revealed, it’s just a matter of being open and present with it and our movements within it.
The clearer our space the clearer our understanding and feeling of who we really are.
Mess is simply showing me how i am living – living messy! It’s annoying and uncomfortable on some level because it does not support me.
The love of myself now is my motivating factor for a life of clarity, order and cleanliness, from my taxes to my kitchen cupboards.
Starting from the inside out, there is no other way
Awesome Heather you inspire me to work on this, commit to living with more simplicity, clarity, order and cleanliness in all areas of my life.
Beautiful Heather. I had not clocked this in myself until I read your comment. My dedication to myself guarantees that I want to have order, flow, cleaniness and clarity around me and in my life. Agree, from wardrobe, accounts, kitchen cupboard, workspace, handbag, wallet, relationships… so inspiring!
What stands out was reflected in a session recently, that we can be doing the same thing but what is the quality of energy and ultimately what is moving us? What type of energy is this, is it for us to look good to another or are we fully appreciating and multidimensionality of each movement that we make, what its actually doing.
‘Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life.’ So I ‘am getting that cleaning is not a chore but is a commitment to life as is everything else we do. So if we work and are not committed to life does this then reflect in our cleaning? Could it be that starting our day with a commitment, that is to life and that commitment can start to flow into the rest of the day? Then one Loving act leads to the next act, which can then also be Loving because the first was also a commitment to Love and life? Maybe this is how we then move into the day starting out with a Humble act of Love that is a commitment to life so as we go about our day we can be connected to deepening levels of Love and thus greater serves to humanity!
Thank you Greg for your comment about commitment to life in making our bed, and starting our day with “a Humble act of Love” and that “one loving act leads to the next”. When we break all of life down into energy everything is an opportunity to express and be the love that we are.
So true Melinda it is the domino affect. When we allow life to unfold we start out with the first domino being at-least gentle on the way to being self-loving. Then True Love can start to takes it place in our life and that first domino never leaves us for we will always find an area in our life where we can bring a deeper awareness and be at-least gentle.
I like how you have broken this down gregbarnes888. It starts with a commitment to making simple loving acts for ourselves that then ripple out into our days and thus has a knock on effect on others.
So true Debra, we show respect and decency and the rest follows.
Yes!, i love this feeling of clarity and space when i tidy and clean up…” I felt more clarity as I brought order to each part of my room..” The body certainly does relate and respond energetically to the changes we make in the environment we live in… a wonderful reflection – one that indicates we do register and feel everything.
I am finding clearing and refining myself and my environment an ever deepening process and as I do so I am discovering that my horizon forever expands.
Leonne, since reading your article previously, what I have noticed is that now if someone is coming over to visit and I tidy the house for this reason – rushing round to get it done in time, then this feels awful and not loving for myself, my house or my family. If on the other hand I tidy to support myself and my family the house feels amazing and this feels truly supportive.
It is very telling how we can rush around to clean and detail when someone is coming over , but sometimes forget to give ourselves that same level of honouring.
This blog reminded me of cleaning up before a cleaner came to my house to do a spring clean, this was definitely because I wanted to keep up appearances. But I equally know and appreciate cleaning to allow the flow in my house to occur and feel the gorgeous space I can create.
So taught into me is the ‘keeping up appearances’ approach that I have to be very attentive to the quality with which I tidy up… I am freer than ever before of the pressure to to prove my worth through being seen to manage my home efficiently, but the whispers of the rules still appear.
Living an ordered life in honour of ourselves and others, provides for a natural flow that is supportive of us all.
I like the title Leonne. ‘Appearances’ ‘veneers’ ‘masks’ ‘shows’ have all become an integral part of what we see it is to be human. There is so much judgment that we have to protect ourselves with appearances. Also we know what is true deep inside and when we don’t match that we put up a pretend smoke screen or do an imitation of the truth. Time for genuine dedication to being true in our lives not matter how imperfect that may be. Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance.
I find cleaning and clearing for me at times removes the cobwebs and the lingering effect of an old pattern, at times it feels like paving the way for what is on its way, and at times it simply allows me to deepen my relationship with the area that I am engaged in. Whatever the flavour, I could be doing more. Thank you for the inspiration.
Like refining our diet or sleep patterns or exercise routine I find I am always refining cleaning and organization of our home. I can feel when something needs to go or a space that needs to be re-organised but when this gets left and is well overdue it makes a big impact on how the house feels. The same with leaving repairs and maintenance for too long…. it is like leaving addressing and healing something in our selves for too long also.
Thank you Aimee, it’s a great point you make that whether we attend to our body or our home it’s all the same thing.
Cleaning up by putting everything out of sight is like putting on a smile when we actually are sad or unhappy. It looks good but it doesn’t feel great.
I agree Lieke, as years ago we would have visitors from the States come for a couple of weeks and my life was so chaotic that the house was never ready in time, so we would put everything in back bags, stuff it in a cupboard and sort it later. But I remember standing in the kitchen feeling the space around me and it did not feel loved or cared for, yes it was clean and free of clutter, but it felt horrible.
The purpose and intention behind why we do something makes such a difference to how we feel whilst we’re doing it and the energetic imprint that we leave in our wake, and also our willingness to do it in the first place!
“And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” Clearing the things that do not support me is like taking blinkers off and discovering a world I was not able to previously see or feel.
When kids are explained why it is important to put things back in their place and how it supports them and every –one else, then more often then not they will do it with out a fuss. When it from an order and/or control by the parent then they tend to react to the energy and not want to play ball with it. In the first incident they feel connected to and considered, in the second they feel controlled and bullied.
With adults too Mary-Louise I observe that when I share with my husband or a work colleague how things in certain places can either support or cause disruption in the space they understand it immediately and more so, it opens up a conversation. Sonetimes we agree together that there is a different place to keep certain things and it feels great to have this discussion and decision made together.
I love the title of this blog – cleaning can be very much about what is on show or done to relieve the body. It is quite different to clean where the starting point is love and care.
I feel that often when we are faced with a mess that we can get rather overwhelmed about where to start and end up walking away, and hoping it will go away. Well that doesn’t work but what I have found that works is taking one little area of mess at a time and once that is done a feeling of space has already been created and I am more than ready to address the next bit. It feels so great as the mess clears that it becomes easier and easier to complete. I love the feeling of spaciousness in me and around me when I begin to clean up my ‘mess’, no matter what form it takes
Could not agree more Ingrid.
In the past I have chosen to ‘do it all at the same time’ – the quickest route to overwhelm! And gosh it’s hard.
What I have learned and have been observing is that I myself was the one creating the overwhelm in the first place. And how I was doing it was by getting distracted of the priority ‘cleaning up’ and started adding other bits that either would need a cleaning up later on or even extra tasks not really required at that moment.
One step at a time is such a wise approach and to make sure each step is complete before moving to the next also has supported me.
Overwhelming and incompletion are now great markers for me that I need to prioritise and get my focus together.
I feel that often when we are faced with a mess that we can get rather overwhelmed about where to start and end up walking away, and hoping it will go away. Well that doesn’t work but what I have found that works is taking one little area of mess at a time and once that is done a feeling of space has already been created and I am more than ready to address the next bit. It feels so great as the mess clears that it becomes easier and easier to complete. I love the feeling of spaciousness in me and around me when I begin to clean up my ‘mess’, no matter what form it takes
I too am beginning to understand when we let go of the ideals and beliefs that we hang onto thinking they are who we are, that something more wonderful is there to take it’s place… Me, the real me without the props, pretense and masks that I have worn thinking this is the me that the world wants to see.
Thank you for sharing that the mess on the outside is nothing but a reflection of how we live on the outside.
I find my most restful sleeps are when my room is at its tidiest and cleanest and even that is forever evolving as I take deeper care of how clothes are put away in drawers and hung up in wardrobes.
I live in a house with a family. There are many opportunities to learn from one another’s reflections in terms of disorder and order. It makes such a difference to be responsible energetically, emotionally and physically.
You would not believe how dirty our plumbing was unless you talked with our plumber.. boy oh boy whilst we live in a very very clean house there are areas that can still hold pockets of uncleared energy that when recognised and cleaned offers such a great healing and support for us. Such simple medicine.
I hear you Joshua, like looking inside our washing machine and discovering how filthy it was… and it is meant to clean our clothes that we put on our bodies. Nothing is ever nothing.
Great points Joshua and Aimee, it makes a lot of sense.
Before I left to go away, I had a clear out and left my home clean and tidy (no perfection here) and it feels lovely to know that this is what I will be returning back to.
I remember growing up not quite understanding and getting a little annoyed when my mother would want to have everything clean and tidy before going away on holidays…. we just wanted to get going. BUT now I know, and don’t like to leave the place not tidy before going away. It feels incredibly supportive to come back to a home that allows us all to get on with what needs to be done.
How we live matters so much more than what we do. This is how I have begun to cherish and be understanding with myself. If I have prepared well with Love, without an expectation about the outcome, and this relates to all areas in life, then I am able to stay in the quality that feels amazing and steady and the outcome will be what it will be. What is there to attack myself with if I have prepared with Love?
This first sentence – ‘how we live matters so much more than what we do’ blew me away and reminded me that quality has to come first, with everything – and to treat everything I do with that same care and attention. Preparation with love comes first, and assures the quality of everything that follows.
The more I care for my space the more I feel able to deal with what life presents.
I have lived in some ‘clean’ houses in my life, but on reflection I can see they were mostly about strict regulations and keeping up appearances to me. The place would be viciously vacuumed when aquaintences were about to come round in case they should see a speck out of place. It feels very true what you outline here Leonne about our outer surroundings reflecting the inner space. I get the sense we all deeply know this but some of us try to avoid it by using control. I can say from my experience this doesn’t work at all. Step 1 in life seems to be accepting totally with an open heart just where you are at.
It’s an interesting point that we may judge a messy home but not a clean one, when they can both be the way they are from the same source of energy that is not from God or the soul.
‘the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.’ And this not only happens with possessions but also habits and behaviours.
Leonne, I love this article and find myself coming back to read it often as it is very relevant for me, since reading this I too have been considering how I clean my environment; ‘I’ve been pondering whether the way I clean my surroundings is truly caring and supportive, or pure function carried out only for the sake of keeping up appearances.’ I have noticed that if I clean for other people, for instance a visitor then this feels unloving, can feel rushed and not enjoyable, whereas if I clean for me and to have order in my house then I and my house can feel amazing.
Leonne you highlight well how everything is a reflection of what is going on in our lives energetically, all of the time. There is always opportunity to create more space in surroundings and open up more space within and vice versa.
Yes, I recently cleared out a couple of cupboards and loved the feeling of space this left in my body.
My room and my house are not always spotless and all organised. I am not interested in keeping up appearances for others because usually before anyone comes to my house, I would feel compromised not tidying up for me! But yet there is no perfection sought in my day to day, even though I would love a more organized house and more space, I am accepting that as a step by step process with the intention in appreciating rather than wanting to change or not accepting my current choices, would allow it to happen. I have to be very honest to myself that life is constantly asking me to be more, and that starts from within myself and with my closest environments and with my family and home, so with this focus, no matter how busy I may be, I would come back to my home and my room and deepen my relationship with it.
This is gorgeous Adele as I can feel how you put no pressure on yourself to keep your home tidy and by bringing focus to the the relationship you have with with yourself you naturally strengthen you relationship with others and the envirmoment around you.
Superb Adele! I can relate to the step by step acceptance, not in relation to keeping the house tidy only, but to myself, others and life in general. When I find myself wanting to organise everything, to tidy up everything I now know there is something really wrong! I know I left appreciation and the joy of learning behind and became hard, serious and perfectionist.
This has really made me think about clearing mess, creating space and getting rid of stuff no longer required and see if it creates space for me to do all the stuff at the moment I haven’t got time for.
The interesting thing is that we always have all the time we need, it is just a question of our relationship with it and how we use it. As for space it is unlimited!
Sure is and the ease in which the work is done becomes a way of life that make work and play all the same!
“When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.” Giving myself enough time – and space – to organize myself is something I am learning late in life. I used to pride myself on being a multi-tasker which meant that although I was doing various projects at a time, everything appeared disorganized on the surface. Slowing down and staying present with one things at a time – and clearing up after myself as I go is a task I’m still learning to master. The knock-on effect with my relationship with myself is noticeable.
Living tidy can feel loving if done in a supportive way, or it can feel like a prison if created from control.
Absolutely Abby. I can relate to have experienced both sides – the flow of keeping things tidy and organised in a natural and loving way and the rigour, control and rigidity of organising things and life from wanting to control how I would expect things to be. The last one definitely exhausts and isolates us whilst the loving care and tidying up invite and inspires others to participate.
That is so true and applies to many other things too!
It is beautiful when cleaning and clearing up become a joyful act of Love.
Yes I agree Jenny. I used to do a big clean and tidy up when we were due to have visitors and this was exhausting and not loving because it was done in a rush, with stress and for appearance. But what a lovely difference it is to tidy and clean because I feel to and when it is done with love.
I am finding that the more attention I bring to clearing up and sorting out things in my own life, the more of a knock on effect this has with everything around me. When we bring an order and rhythm to what we do it has an inevitable and organic impact on every part of our lives.
What I love about clearing mess or cleaning is that as I clean there is more and more clarity, and I have a much lighter feeling inside me too. You can really feel how you’ve shifted old energy around so that you have a new platform to begin on.
What a great blog to read, to think of all the times I have seen a messy room and yet never made the link to it being a reflection of life. What we create is a mess or it is order dependant on what we wish to live in.
This blog reminds me that judgement is more polluting than any physical mess we make.
“I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do”.
I have begun to appreciate this also Leonne, along with the loving self care that comes with order, rhythm and simplicity.
I arrived at my holiday apartment yesterday and the place was quite messy to be honest and I could feel the disregard of the owner. But after a bit of cleaning, clearing and unpacking, within a few hours it was feeling lovely and homely. Bringing back order and flow feels pretty magical!
‘I am beginning to see that I’ve often found myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order.’ I also love simplicity and order but have chosen to live with mess and clutter through many different phases in my life. It’s interesting how I so easily slip into old patterns of incompletion and recently it has got somewhat out of control so it feels amazing to be starting to change this one small pocket at a time.
I had a lot excuses to clear the hidden mess in our house until I got support from a dear friend who continuosly helps me to see the hidden beliefs I am holding onto especially concerning my family.
Since then already a lot has changed not only in my house but also in my relationship with my family.
It’s incredible how changes to our physical environment can support us to make other much needed changes in our relationships.
Yes… Once we start to ‘ clean up our mess’ on so many levels the effect is far reaching and of course doesn’t just affect us but all those around us
“Cleaning Up My Mess – True Self Care or Keeping Up Appearances?” – hmm, the eyes can see what they want to see though there is always more that lays beneath; denying this fact is ‘keeping up appearances’.
The hurried clean up before people arrive is a clear indication that we know we don’t like the mess but we are more willing to do it to keep up appearances to others than to support ourselves in the long-run. That is a pattern of behaviour I saw a while back – OK, I didn’t exactly see it for myself but my kids very kindly pointed it out to me very bluntly! As a result, I was able to see how much I valued others over choosing to support myself and, indeed, the others in my home.
A brilliant experiment to do is to fully clean out a cupboard, fridge, office or room at work or in someone else’s home, and feel the difference before and afterwards but also how we often LOVE cleaning like this (and the satisfaction of knowing how much more this will support work or that person!). Why should it be any different for our own homes and personal spaces? If we were an onlooker, would we have things the same way?
I love to have a clean up of my house before I go away, because I appreciate my home so much when I return to it. In the same way I know I have to clear out some drawers, because when I open them, I am met with a mess and have difficulty finding what I’m looking for. The contrast shows me there’s a little inconsistency still in my life, so I’m clearing them out today, bringing more care for my home and deeper care for myself.
What you say Leonne is a beautiful reminder, not to judge myself or others when things are a mess. In our true nature we all enjoy simplicity and order, but we get overwhelmed at times in our life to the point where mess seems like all there is. This explains why it feels like such great medicine to clean something up – it’s like the complexity I have struggled with in my head is removed. How cool that cleaning is so powerful on so many levels.
“I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do” – living knowing the quality we do things in is living with awareness…and living with awareness is the freedom and expanse of life and living we want and love so much to have.
A great article Leonne , thank you for your honesty, I find if I have an untidy home I feel very unsettled in my body, I love simplicity and order but sometimes let this go, i realised the other day that i have a keeping up appearances syndrome and often leave the house cleaning till someone is coming, I love the feeling of a clean house so why not do it just for me,? this I am working on.
It is incredible how clearing things happens on the outside but it has such a huge impact on the inside.
When we leave a clear space that is what we set up for when we come back to it, be it in 5 minutes, at the end of the work day or back from holiday and so on. If we leave a mess, that is what we return to and when we return to it, it’s as though we are being held in the past by what has come before and we have not set ourselves us to be with each moment in life that presents.
I know I cannot put on a facade anymore… if my room is a mess then however well turned out I might be the mess is with me.
I can still be a bit of a clutter collector, often thinking I might need something that is tucked away in a drawer. But my drawers have been so full, when I am looking for that certain thing, I can’t find it. So each time I go through a cupboard, and throw a couple more things out, I am creating a little more space . I love what you share here Leonne,.. ‘And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.’ It is not simply creating the space , it is having the space to reconnect to being our amazing selves.
I love cleaning up to feel that space you mentioned. And over the last few years I’ve accepted that mess will be made, it’s part of human life. It’s not about keeping the house spotless and not living in it or not using something just to keep it clean. Accepting that mess will be made or accumulated and that I don’t have to let it slide but continuously clean bit by bit is a joy rather than leaving it to build and clean in reaction to the mess.
“I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do.” how beautiful and from this comes a natural caring and appreciation for ourselves and everything around us from within.
It used to really puzzle me that I would often find “myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order.”. It almost felt like it was someone else that made the mess as it simply didn’t fit with the order that I loved. And when the mess was made it used to take a while for it to be unmade; those were the days, like you had, when it went in cupboards, drawers etc to prepare for the arrival of visitors. I am now loving the fact the I am more orderly than messy; but it is still a work in progress.
It is amazing how much clearing out a space that has accumulated mess has an impact on the whole house including our own bodies. Everything is interconnected.
Yes, this connection between the outside mess and the inside mess is a pretty good revelation and has to be experienced to be understood fully! A good clear out really supports good mental and physical health – who would have thought?! Medicine through our way of living. Until I experienced this I would never have valued it as highly as I do now – it is well worth the experiment.
Thank you Leonne, it s a great realization to know that it is the quality we do things in that matters the most and not what we do, but if we want a distraction away from reponsibility we make it the other way around and usually ends up pretty messy!
Cleaning up does go way beyond the physical world, this sort of cleaning is the tip of the ice-berg. What is underneath can either be an underworld of disharmony with-in us or a deep connection to spaciousness that expands like the universe. We have a choice every time to be with ourselves to complete a task, or give over to the tension of delay.
When life is cluttered, we feel cluttered in everything we do, I agree my perception / awarenesss is not as strong when I have mess and disorganisation around me. Clean space, lines, flow enable clarity.
We have many rituals during the day, some we are aware of and others not, and some truly support us while others contribute to the patterns we don’t like. It is very helpful to become aware of how we live our life and allow ourselves to observe what effect this has on us to then be able to bring true change.
Leonne, reading this article I can feel how simple and supportive this is; ‘Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.’ Since reading your article the first time I have been enjoying tidying up around me more, I feel that I have more awareness now around mess and the negative effects it has on me and my family, it feels really supportive having the house more tidy and ordered.
It is a beautiful feeling when things around the home are given a specific space and returned to it after use. It brings simplicity and order to life.
‘Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.’ Absolutely Leonne – it is brilliant when this rhythm is set up whereby there is a basic marker below which one never goes – make the bed, keep the kitchen tidy and dishwasher stacked, clean up the living room before going to bed. I love rising in the morning to be greeted by a beautifully clean house, just as I love coming home in the evening to such a home. It is a joy.
I wonder how often I actually create the mess around in my home so that I don’t have to feel what is really going on… and take responsibly for my part.
Once you start cleaning up it becomes habitual as it feels so much better when your environment is clean, tidy and ordered. I find if I feel overwhelmed by life and do not complete tasks then it’s not long before clearing up feels like such a struggle to do and I slip into patterns of laziness and disregard.
To live in a mess is not my ideal but I have had clutter in odd drawers or cupboards that I have put off clearing out for some time. I agree that it is easy to add more to an untidy area.
Once a space is messy and unclean, there is a tendency to add more mess to it. It can be a momentum that might be difficult to break – but it is well worth it.
Being tidy and respectful of the space I Iive in is a supportive feedback loop as I go about my work and life.
The example you give of when you where young and sticking things under the bed, reminded me of many situations we have all likely experienced when we try and hide our chaos, lack of care in our life from those around us. It can not in truth be hidden in the end the mess is exposed. This is actually fabulous, I say air our dirty laundry and have a spring clean in more ways than one!
It’s awesome to reflect that even though I am inclined to have been an obsessive tidier I can relate to the feelings you express Leonne. However the underlying motives are the same. When we make life about ‘keeping up appearances’ we are not truly fooling anyone except ourselves – and by doing this we are denying ourselves the opportunity to let go of the need and only living a shadow of who we truly are.
‘I’ve often found myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order’ – It’s strange how we choose to do things that go directly against what we love. Could there be elements of self sabotage in the way we live? Knowing that life is actually too easy, and too amazing if we were to choose all that we know is true?
Mess and disorganisation are not only the result of our way of moving in life; they also set us up to continue moving in such way. So, they are part of a movement that we choose… until we cease to choose it.
Changing our movements changes the quality we are in and then there is a juxtaposition between the mess and what we are feeling in our bodies so we are impulsed to tidy up and clean the mess.
Most of my life I have functioned in organised chaos, it was my filing system for life. It only fell apart when someone tidied up what looked like a mess to them. I am now like a dog that has shed their winter coat, everything that is not needed is gone. I now have little left of the things; I may have a need for and hang onto them for that just in case moment. It is amazing the space within that has opened up from choosing to let go the things inside and outside that are no longer needed!
There is so much pressure in keeping up appearances, and it takes so much energy. Much better to do it out of love and support for ourselves. This gives us energy rather than draining it.
Each time I clean up a space or clean out my wardrobe for example, I can see that there is another level of cleaning I can do. It can be a tiny change in the detail but the overall feel can be quite different with another level of care.
Such an important point, how we are and how we go about things is so much more important than the outcome. There is no need to just think about goals, how we are when we initiate and explore something matters. If we leave our house in a mess and leave no time for a good dinner, this can only have a ripple of consequences and effects in the rest of our life. And duty duty does not cut it, I would suggest making all we do of equal importance in life allows us to see how these ripples of choices flow.
‘the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do’ – We can find ourselves overwhelmed with things on our to-do lists and go into a drive/panic to get it all completed… But really what is the point in just doing tasks or activities to tick a box? When there is no quality, our actions end up being very mundane and sometimes feel quite empty because our ‘just do’ attitude works against the potential that we could inspire others and introduce integrity, responsibility, respect etc. into an environment.
Bringing order and greater care to my environment I find really supportive in how it naturally allows me to have greater awareness and more clarity within myself.
And then vice versa: the two support one another and give us a foundation on which to develop and grow.
Yes, it always goes hand in hand. And sometimes we are more aware of what is going on in the outer and other times what is going on within ourselves.
All I did yesterday was commit to clearing a small pile of clutter from my kitchen work top and I ended up clearing out two cupboards and it made such a difference to how I felt in my body that I think I will commit to another small patch today. I feel for me the key is baby steps.
What this blog has reminded me today is that the way we live every day, every moment, accumulates into a momentum of livingness which cannot be faked or covered up. Our livingness or the predominate quality we live with every day can be easily felt by everyone and anyone we meet, no matter how we make it look on the surface.
The “quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do” is a true and very relevant statement, building a self loving relationship through the little, detailed acts of self care and self regard are what have helped to change the way I live and therefore the quality in which I do my daily things.
The space around us is like a feedback loop. If it is disordered, it reflects to us our own disorder and care. If it is ordered it is constantly offering us space, and calling for being prepared for whatever is coming in the next 24 hours.
Order is beautiful and harmonious, but you can also have a place that is a neat as a pin and yet there is no love in it in any way, shape or form.
So true Jenny, you can feel the difference between a loveless home and a home full of joy and love the moment you walk through the door.
My kitchen worktop creates little piles of ‘to do later’, or I must keep that somewhere safe because I need to know where it is. Today I’m going to set myself the task of clearing my kitchen counter and see how it feels. I will report back……
After committing to clearing a relatively small space (i.e. a small pile of ‘to do later’ things on my worktop, I got immersed and one thing led to another, I ended up clearing out and reorganising two cupboards. It felt lovely to do so but what really struck me was how much more enjoyable cooking my evening meal was.
I love the freshness you bring to this topic Leonne, and your keenness to find out what is all behind this mess.
‘My hurried tidy-ups before guests arrive and hidden drawers full of odds and ends don’t honour the importance of my relationship with myself and my environment. In fact, they show me that I am living in a way that is anything but supportive.’ – Yes, and I love how you have also exposed that it is quite common that there is something in us that, in front of others, needs to look ‘better’ than we actually are.
This is a great illustration of how it matters what is our intention and quality is when we do things. On the surface the action might seem good but unless the quality and intention is done in love the act is empty.
There is something about cleaning up our own mess and completion, I can feel I clear complete each ‘thing’ when I put it away, deal with it…if not it is just left hanging around, a loose end, and so it could feel like a drag. I like completion, a circle to life, feel supportive to live it this way.
The true beauty and support we offer both ourselves and others in cleaning is amazing to feel in the reality and something not appreciated enough in the world. It is a reflection of the love we bring and hold and the clarity that really does make all the difference . It allows the beauty and expansion to our divineness and is a constant cleaning and clearing that is part of our everyday days .
It always feels lovely and very supportive to come home to a clean and tidy house. If my space isn’t tidy or is cluttered my head feels cluttered also. I love how it feels to go into my bedroom with everything folded and put carefully away and I am aware that this most definitely has an effect on how I sleep, just as in the kitchen when I begin preparing each meal with a clean and tidy workplace it has an effect on the way I cook.
What a beautiful concluding paragraph Leonne. You are cleaning up on every level, your relationships, your health, your home, your everything. Connecting to the inner heart brings that wholeness, that unity between all areas of our lives where we see that nothing is separate – everything is connected and interrelated in one living whole.
And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am. This is so true Leonne, because when we choose order in this way, we are aligning with the order of the universe and so naturally feel our truly divine selves.
What we may ordinarily think of as ‘boring tasks’ or ‘life’s little nuisances’ turn out to be in fact, very impactful acts of self regard.
Well said Rosanna – when we dismiss the ‘annoying’ details we are simultaneously dismissing true gold.
Yes, very much so. And it is interesting that we have made them to be the‘boring tasks’, as you say, because, in fact, they are not boring at all but stupendously supportive and love building.
Love your re-naming of ‘boring tasks’, NEVER can they be belittled again!
It really comes down to what is the intension behind cleaning. Is it just to show face or is this because it genuinely supports one another. In my experience, these 2 x styles feel very different. I know right away what is true and what is not.
Even when I’m traveling my hotel room is kept clean and tidy by me, some times I clean after the cleaners have been in my room re making my bed as well, so that I own the energy of the room I’m staying in. This helps to keep me focused on what I’m doing and why I’m there. The more I’m with me the more I’m naturally with other people.
True Mary, why would we change our values and live in a different way simply because we are not in our own home, it doesn’t make sense to do so.
I’m going away soon Mary and I have never thought to re-make my bed in order to change the energetic quality of the space. I love this idea and will put it to test when I go, thank you.
A clean house is far different from a clear house. How we clean and tidy is of equal if not more value to the visual outcome.
Beautifully said Nikki. How we clean a room/house/office has a far reaching impact – how the space feels when we walk into it is key here, not how it looks.
Something I have found very profound is that even with excessive and stringent attention to cleanliness and order, this can even be holding us back if it is done with a want for the out to be a certain way with first connecting with the inner and allowing that to order our surroundings.
Many’s the time I have raced round and cleaned things up because I had people coming around so as not to show what a slob I was, but it is far more simple to keep things in order in the first place so there is no keeping up any sort of pretence.
Doing it for ourselves from a place of value and respect rather than to present a facade to others… yes please.
It is great to look at the greater picture and what we are producing by our output – both in a physical sense but also the effect of our every movement, expression and intention.
Making our beds was something we as children had to do each day as part of our practical contribution to the home.We also had to wash and dry up the dishes as there were no dishwashers in those days. These were the basics and other jobs got added – my brother washed the car and I ironed my school uniform Sunday evening. Just simple little things but they got us into a rhythm, and also knowing that these were the basis of an ordered life. Now I am so much more aware of the love with which these things are done.
Cleaning up the house always feels amazing so I have to ask myself why is it I can let it go to ruin? Is it because I lose focus and don’t care and only when it gets too messy that I have to take note. Where am I at to not notice the little things? How about I complete one task at a time rather than getting all the toys out at once and leaving everything in a mess?
Interesting comment ‘ even if there was no one else who would see it except me’. So often we put ourselves at the bottom of the pile of important people in our lives. How about if we made the bed precisely because or burnt the incense and we would be the only ones who got to enjoy that. That making sure we take care of ourselves, that our honouring and care for others would be so much more sincere and heartfelt because it comes from deep within.
Order and simplicity naturally go together, and inspire so much more.
Could we be limiting the definition of mess to just mean that of a physical disorder and or disharmony? What if we applied the same principles of what we deem a mess to be to that of disharmony and disorder in our relationships, in the way we think about ourselves or the way we treat our body? Not that our relationship for instance is necessarily a mess but we tend to accept tensions, struggles, abuse, and conflict as normal but what if these aspects of our life could be so much more grander?
I love your example of hiding your mess under the bed as it shows so clearly we cannot truly hide it because we will always feel it even if it is unseen.
Cleaning is a powerful way to confirm ourselves and let go of what doesn’t truly support us.
I am loving living in my home having to clean up nearly every day because of having it in sale with people traipsing through. It is so very easy to do this every day (even deeper than usual) clean. The idea that cleaning is a chore still weighs a bit on me, but it is always surprising how joyful and how wonderful it is to be received in the evening by a clean and ordered home.
It is important the point you raised about growing up feeling cleaning is a chore. I would think most of us in western cultures would have had the same. I felt no joy or love of restoring harmony and order to the home in the role models I saw cleaning. I now know how much this can be there through cleaning with presence and purpose. However the tendrils of treating it as a chore and something that women begrudgingly do are still there. It feels great to be aware of this and give more focus to the quality of cleaning I know is possible.
Though I have been someone who has always been tidy I can relate too pushing other things aside in life and not wanting to deal with them only to have to come back to them later. At the time you think it doesn’t matter and that you are moving on but in truth you are carrying it with you and there will be another time or situation that presents that asks you to then address this.
There are always stones that have not been looked at – it might be your room is tidy, but do you take the same care with your finances, or perhaps your achilles heel is the loose ends in relationships and the things that don’t get said. For me the gold in this blog is how we have pockets of behaviour that are private and we think no one notices, but deep down they are affecting us. One way or another that always gets exposed.
The mess we create or clean can be around us in more than just our home but how we choose to live our day and make our choices – there is much opportunity here to cleanse also.
Yes, an opportunity to appreciate, confirm our truth and to make our every movement and expression a loving one.
I too find it super supportive when I have a clean environment, especially when I am cooking. I used to be a very messy cooker and now I clean up as I go and the order makes the whole process much more enjoyable and with a lovely flow and no big major clean after the meal has been cooked.
Mess = Stress! Thanks Leonne, a very honest sharing, there is always some little pile of mess making me a little anxious, defiantly more to look at than just time to tidy.
It does make stress, and the fact is the stress can’t be shoved under the bed it is in or bodies 24/7. Not worth carrying around I’m discovering.
Yes, I agree the little piles of clutter leave us with a feeling of incompletion and anxiety.
Taking regard for ourselves is reflected instantly in our whole life, our environment and our every living way.
To retrace each step and put things back in their place allows for a simplicity and flow in life to emerge.
‘I have used mess as a (somewhat putrid) security blanket to help me dull down what I feel.’ Good insight, Leonne which leads us to a possible cause of why we tolerate mess, the next question being, why do we want to dull down what we feel? I never could understand how people could live with clutter all around them and I did have a judgment of them, but understanding why they might need this ‘security’, has helped me to let go of that judgment.
‘And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.’ This is so true Leonne and when I start clearing out one drawer and feel the space I have created it is only natural that I want to clean another.
I used to live in chaos and the mess in my house, particularly my kitchen reflected this, some days much worse than others. I remember a friend once commenting how he always knew how I was by either looking into my eyes or into my kitchen. Those days are now past and both my eyes and kitchen now sparkle. This has happened through being inspired by Serge Benhayon to bring loving choices into my life, my home and my body.
I love leaving the house or going to bed with everything sorted and put away. I’ve also done it before when going away on holiday. It’s like a present I’ve given myself when I return or wake up and go downstairs to have a lovely, clear space. If I can give that amount of care to a space, the possibility to do the same for me is equally offered.
I have a new relationship with order, simplicity, space and my home now reflects this. I’ve moved on to my computer files, very messy and with the support of a student, have been shown how to re-stucture and order folders and files. Using the streamlined and structured filing system makes me feel good, lighter, especially filing documents in a way that makes it easy to retrieve them. The work continues – I’m also off-loading old documents no longer needed – a huge job as my tendency was to hang on to everything. Cleaning and clearing is an act of love, and affects every aspect of our lives
Yes Kehinde the cleaning is often seen through the house and associated with chores – but what about all those emails sitting in the inbox for days, week and years later.
We can clean so it looks good and may look that way to others, as long as they don’t look too close! Have you checked the top of the doors and the corners of the windows? Is this the same thing we do with the issues we have swept under the carpet within ourselves, so on the surface everything looks good?
We can indeed clean to look good but if the quality is not there then lovelessness can still be felt.
Thank you for exposing how we can live our lives based on wanting to be seen by others but the levels of commitment to others lies in our commitment to live this quality with ourselves first.
There needs to be a whole revolution around the way we see cleaning and this blog opens up the way for this, along with several other great blogs in this series about cleaning out houses and back rooms. Cleaning is a sacred activity and that brings a divine holding space for us to live the day from. To walk into a divinely cleaned office, work place or home is a great blessing and gives us the space to be who we truly are.
Cleaning up my mess for me includes cleaning up my psychological mess – when I find myself going into reaction and getting angry, I am now able to stop and say, ‘I don’t need to be angry, I’m just reacting, what am I reacting to?’ and then I can express how I truly feel, to me cleaning up my emotional reactions is a good mess to clear up because it makes relationships messy. It is me not honouring how I feel inside when I know that honouring what I feel helps me to develop self worth.
Cleaning up a mess / disregarded part in our house brings such order and spaciousness to not just the environment, but to our body too. Its such a healthy clean feeling in the body.
We can tangibly feel in our body the blessing of cleaning up a messy part in our house. This clearly demonstrates how inextricably connected we are with everything around us, our body of energy interacting with or in relationship with another form of energy (mess) that leads to a product or outcome… Life is a chemistry equation – seen and unseen – biological, physiological and physical.
I love the symbolism between cleaning up our environment and how this is reflective in cleaning up our body.
Yes I love this reflection too
Yes, my car feels completely different when it has been cleaned and any rubbish removed. In the past I have let rubbish accumulate but it feels horrible so I have started making sure that when I stop at the petrol station, even if it is just for groceries that I give my care some attention too.
It’s what is felt too, clear up our environments and feel clearer in our bodies.
This is a cracker of as blog Leonne, I love it. There is always another layer to our every move, and you have uncovered the layer of mess beautifully. I love how our home beautifully reflects our body. We can’t stuff our things under the bed without them being felt. Just as we can’t push down our issues without them showing up in our body. True self care for being is felt and seen in all we do.
‘I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.’ this is certainly something I have experienced, feeling sensitive to other people’s mess, when in fact I was being judgmental of them because of the way I am with myself.
I can always tell when I’m off and that’s when my house gets messy, it’s like I give up on keeping up with where I’m at and just let things slide then do a big tidy up. Learning that keeping tidy as I live each day brings me the consistency to live me much more than holding back because I am ashamed of how things are at home, inside me. It’s the difference between letting the rubbish mount up and get smelly or clearing up as I go along. I don’t have a laundry basket upstairs but each day take my laundry into the laundry room from the pile I put it in upstairs. Humm perhaps I could get a small basket for upstairs and continue this practice of emptying each day knowing I’ll not let it accumulate.
There is something about the practicalities of life that always acts as a great mirror for us to see exactly where we are with ourselves at any given time. This is such a gift and makes me appreciate how there can be purpose to every single little thing that we do.
It makes me laugh reading about how you used to clean your room up by shoving everything under your bed because that is how my brother and I used to help ‘clean’ the house up by shoving all the clutter, including dirty crockery, under the furniture. We were so proud of ourselves because we thought no one could see the mess that later our mum pointed was quite evidently on show! To me it is symbolic of how we try to hide things within us that we don’t want others to see shoving it under some facade or other, all the while failing to appreciate that is it always on show.
The part that really got me to laugh was when the repeated piling of everything under the bed got to the point that it lifted the mattress! What a gorgeous predicament which you just can not escape.
A perfect reflection of how far we can go in trying to ignore things…. until life tells us enough is enough.
I was raised from a very early age to believe that “keeping up appearance” was what you had to do to fit into this world. I realise now how exhausting that was as well as a very dishonest way to live; dishonesty that not only affected me in so many ways but also affected those around me. After all pretending to be who you are not is going totally against who we naturally are at the moment and you can’t make such a choice without a consequence.
The mess begins on the inside long before it manifests on the outside. That said, we can not ever sully the divinity we are in essence, we can only layer on top of it a way to be that is not in keeping with the love that we are. Thus we invite in a movement that does not move in accordance to this holiness and it is here the first mess is created which then filters though to our external environment by way of how we are impulsed to move from this pollution.
I am really seeing things quite differently since reading this the other day, I can see that my propensity to create mess is a subtle sabotage of a willingness to be aware and connected to the universe.
Totally agree, I’ve noticed it’s great way to stay in overwhelm keeping ourselves always on the back foot.
I was always asked to make my bed as a kid – where I would’ve done it out of duty I now do it because I love to.
It is so true, the way I am with my life, with me tells everything about the relationship with myself. Do I live in appreciation of myself, do I walk away from myself etc. What I felt is that I am to really do things with my heart open and feel the impact of cleaning, walking, cooking, working with me. It’s been a while that I’ve chosen to be with me in the things that I do. In here lies the key in making the difference in my (own) life. The quality of everything I do is different – either loving or not.
It starts to make so much sense when you see the mess in our lives as a reflection of a disorder that’s there in ourselves. But what you share Leonne here takes it deeper than that, and helps us to see that this mess is something we actively choose to create. Like driving your car around with the handbrake on, on purpose, we create struggle, complexity and difficulty where in truth there is none. So what if the mess the world is in, is not because we are bad or mad, but all resisting the simplicity of the Love that we are?
Bringing value to cleaning up and tidying – as in appreciating how it truly supports us and everyone else brings a purpose to the activity that makes it so much more than just a chore.
Leone I get the same sense of your example that if you leave the house without making your bed or tidying your room it’s a sure-fire sign of choosing to create stress and complication…I get this when I haven’t cleared my emails or responded to something promptly – those daily house keeping chores that help keep life simple!
What role did our parents and then us play when raising our children by clearing up for them? This also works as an example of not cleaning up after one’s self. By being messy, as you have said Rosanna, it opens the door and invites in stress and complication every time.
Since reading this blog I have seen how I treat communal spaces differently from my own spaces. Where I know the space is used by others, I am more careful to leave things tidy and neat, but when it is just for me, I am less careful. I see this as a reflection of my patterns in life – to put others first for example. This is a negation of myself and not healthy – and of course, there are no ‘my spaces’ in truth for we are all affected by each others choices and how we are in life. Thank you Leonne for the awareness.
I still have a problem keeping my desk tidy, the tray with papers nearly always looks a mess and they can sit there for a while until I have a clear out. The rest of the house is tidy and in order but I allow my space to be cluttered, I am going to have a tidy up today and see if I can keep it decluttered.
There’s mess, there’s tidy but there actually so much more to both extremes and inbetween. Not only are there many contributing factors to mess, but in being tidy there is the quality of a room and it’s important to pay attention to how the QUALITY affects how somewhere feels, not just what is visible on the surface.
An easy question we can ask ourselves to expose this is, do we do things differently when we know our actions of the consequences will be viewed by others?
I remember a time when mess never seemed to bother me – I could sleep in my room even when it was a tip, I wasn’t bothered if the house was a mess, because the disregard around me was just a physical representation of the disregard within me. It was only when I started to develop my own self love that I began to feel the disharmony of mess around me and start wanting to keep the space clean to support the new found love within.
‘I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do.’ – Leonne, this awareness is gold.
Today as a family we did a deep clean of our home, well a first stage of a deep clean and it feels amazing and so supportive of us and where we can go next, having cleaned in this way it shows how cleaning can be about truly supporting ourselves and is a responsibility to the order and therefore the levels of evolution we are willing to step forward into.
Feeling the enormous opportunity when we say no to loveless choices and start to make loving and caring choices that respect our body and being is what changes our life. Saying Yes to what we deserve and realise that we are the ones that make it happen.
We literally have the capacity to light up our lives through such simple tasks, such as cleaning our space. It no longer feels like a chore when we connect with the purpose of why we are doing it.
When we don’t take care of the details in life when they present themselves – they pile up and we can get caught in the overwhelm of not doing what needs to be done. It can be a vicious cycle, but this can be broken by simply facing it head on and committing to not only the task at hand but life at large.
Absolutely Leone, the placement of any one item affects everything, “Each pile of clothing or solitary utensil left on the kitchen bench seems to make it more difficult for me to feel what is going on around me.” Such an interesting science.
This so inspiring Leonne,
“I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place.”
To let go of all those security blankets that we hold onto as a just in case, I can let go of them now because I have felt the wonderment in my body and there is nothing in this world that can compare to this feeling.
I am so appreciating this wake up call to deeply consider how I am living and not only exposing any mess that I have allowed to sit and fester, I am really enjoying the action of bringing more order to my life, discarding anything that doesn’t belong. I can feel how very draining it has been to have things left, unfinished.
When we ‘clean up’ as a result of a strong loving impulse for us to do so, it feels really beautiful and very supportive and the end result is quite different to how it would be if we were simply trying to make things ‘look’ better.
For years I have periodically emptied my clothes cupboard, thrown things out and placed things back in order but I never associated this with my body, but I did noticed the feeling of space within my cupboard and the deep feeling of appreciation for having done this task – it makes sense to me now why I was feeling more uplifted in those moments.
During my single years, I would crawl out of bed and leave it that way like a book mark so at the end of the day I could slide back in and continue where I had left off. How many people when going on a trip, when they get up, it is a rush to ensure you have everything, who has time to make the bed! Now, getting into a bed every night, that was made with love, is a welcoming end to the day.
I love the way that you are now throwing your judgemental thoughts out with the garbage. That’s exactly were they belong!
I love this Leonne; ‘Cleaning, keeping my environment tidy and making my bed each day have become essential parts of my commitment to self-care and order.’ I can feel how essential tidying and cleaning are and what a huge difference it makes to how I and my family feel, it feels great to make it part of my daily rythum and commitment so that it does not get left or forgotten, what a great commitment to make.
Cleanliness is something I want in my life but also a work in progress, to have a level of mess is sometimes accepted, yet when I clear it away i know it always feels much better. I would not underestimate now the importance of clean and tidy space for a healthy body, the two are in my view inextricably linked.
I’d totally agree with this Stephen. I love how a room or even a small space or area at home or at work feels when I have tidied up and cleared away what is no longer needed, and even by rearranging one or two items can make all the difference. And what I love most about this process, is going into that space after it has been cleared and feeling how ‘spacious’ and ‘clear’ it is. We really are clearing a path for energy to flow both around us and inside our bodies and this is the reflection we receive when we tidy up our mess.
I love that description Sandra of energy flowing around us, it definitely feels easier to be in life when I am in a clean space. I guess we all feel the difference, but it is how willing we are to accept just how much we feel.
‘When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.’ It is a beautiful journey, getting to know oneself above and beyond who we think we are. Self care is a big part of this journey and allows us to have a tangible feel for what our life is really about.
I normally clean my home once a week but I’ve been having to clean up and keep my home immaculate every day because with the house on the market there are people coming through everyday and it feels lovely to vacuum around the fireplace and put every cushion back in order. It has been even more of a delight to step into the house after work and be greeted by this order and light.
This was awesome and very confirming of how important cleaning (and not just superficially) is for our personal and household wellbeing. It may seem ridiculous that cleaning out old stuff in a room makes you feel clearer and lighter but I have experienced this many times. It really is symbolic of cleaning out the old patterns, hurts and beliefs that we carry in our bodies.
“It has taken me a long time to admit that I was making a mess in order to avoid feeling how powerful, aware and responsible I really am” – yes Leonne i too have experienced the fact that what we avoid or resist something, or when it comes to what we consider as our own personal greatest ‘weakness’, that it’s actually in fact our greatest strength.
Reading this blog has prompted me to observe my relationship with the messy areas of my life. I have noticed how every neglected areas is a reflection of a moment when I was totally checked out.
‘When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself’ and these reflections can be quite small or quite huge – from placing a tea towel down on the rail with love and care to letting a whole room be filled with mess or a detail of love and care. I’ve found that mess and lack of presence when placing things stands out like a sore thumb when I am fully honouring and caring of my body then I must adjust and bring it all to the same depth of care.
And we can also flip this around by noting that when we support our spaces in detail with love, care and attention then this can also offer us a space to be brought back to ourselves and surrender after a tricky day out at work or the like, that has perhaps put us a little out. Energy works both ways and we can use this to our advantage in holding the truth of who we are.
Self care is so profound and supportive on so many levels and we only need to start with one area then what I have found is that that imprint and quality pulls and encourages me to bring this love and care to other areas. A true step walked inspired another true step. Love in action.
Doing things for appearances or only for part of the time and not consistently feels false and not honouring of the potential in how we look after the environments in which we live.
Totally agree Michael – when we don’t bring our all to every part of life then all the parts fall short of expressing the fullness of the whole. In other words, any gaps in life lessen the quality and consistency of how we are in the areas we want to give full attention to.
I love detailing – and it has taken me years to allow myself bring more of that, and to truly appreciate what it brings. In the past I never ‘had the time’. But I have learned that when I do apply the detail that I love, life is so much simpler and time becomes spherical – I have so much more of it.
I have always loved the clarity and order of having a clear space – you know where everything is whenever you need it.
Me too. I feel disturbed when things are out of order and always adjust constantly as needed when I feel that another level or care, attention and order need to be brought to my body and space around me.
Great how the little details in life are so supportive for us… clearing our mess away – even if its only a few items – so we have a clear space to have clear sleep; maintaining a clear space so we are always able to do whatever is required next.
Just imagine if Humanity decided to take responsibility for the state of the world, and decided to clean up its mess!
I love making my bed every morning – it feels so good to get back into each night
To clean up the mess I’m to nominate all that I choose that takes me away from me and confirm and appreciate the lovely, precious, sensitive and precious man that I am.
Do we really get the fact that Everything is Energy? That every thought, impulse, movement, gesture has an impact? and that that impact is far reaching beyond the realms of what we understand life to be?
Today I learnt that all aspects of life reflect the value we place on them, and part of my problem was that I didn’t see the same magic and value in cleaning as I do my job. But with everything being one life it makes sense that every aspect is as important as another because it affects the next moment, it’s very cool.
A great observation. Sometimes our need to ‘fix’ things is driven by not wanting to fully see how things are. On many occasions I notice how I direct my attention to correcting what is on the outside, but not allowing the outer to be a reflection of the inner.
When we start to observe and learn from the reflections that life is offering us, our lives take on another dimension, one that we can constantly evolve in . Everything means something and in the appreciation of what we are being shown, true growth is available.
I came home from school one day and put my left over roast lamb sandwich scraps from lunch in the bin in my room.. to my absolute horror I woke up to find my floor covered with maggots. To this day I have not left food in my room or office!
Another one along these lines is being busy – are we truly purposeful and committed or are we keeping busy so as to look needed/productive, to avoid something etc? I know i have done this in situations where I feel awkward or on edge, I will find something to do to distract myself and keep me busy
I agree and I reckon it is one of the most insidious and undermining things we do to ourselves, each other and our relationships.
This is a brilliant read, intimate, insightful and honest. I had an opposite manifestation of the same root ill behaviour – I kept my room immaculately tidy as a veneer for the devastation and sadness I felt inside and for many years maintained this facade: looking good, feeling awful. In the last 15 years I have incrementally released by vice like grip on life and let myself feel some of the things I was avoiding… painful at times, absolutely, but nothing to the years of incarceration. I am still pretty orderly but this is re-imprinted these days from a sense of self worth, love, respect and responsibility for myself and others.
‘When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.’ – You’ve nailed it here Leonne and I love how you have shared your process of putting this into action and implementing it in your daily life.
These patterns of feeling that cleaning up is such a chore are patterns that get passed down by generations. Once we view it as all a part of our self care, it feels very different and much more joyful.
Gill this is very true, being trapped in patterns of chore that have been passed on to us keeps us imprisoned and unable to feel the joy of flow and natural order.
I have noticed that most people, including myself, who are finding it difficult to see their way through life have a backlog of things to attend to, we have procrastinated about certain things so those things are still in the drawer of our mind weighing us down. We then override other details like keeping our houses tidy and clean or getting our cars washed and cleaned regularly or any other job that would otherwise free us up and have us feeling the spaciousness and joy that we are keeping ourselves from.
The footprint that we leave behind really does matter as it affects everyone. Imagine if we lived with that level of responsibility where we knew that every word spoken, every action taken actually affected everyone? Would we not have a completely different society?.
I know ways of teaching that encourage children to get in a mess. It’s a way of encouraging their natural expression and creativity. To a certain extent it’s natural. Sometimes we can get so tight and controlling if we have an ideal as to how tidy we should be. Perhaps the key is in keeping it fresh. Making a mess but then clearing it away. It’s important to let ourselves live without restrictions that we can place on ourselves.
I have never liked mess even as a child I found it disturbing, we had a huge Golden retriever dog and he shed his hair everywhere and I hated this fact that the carpets never seemed to be without dog hair and I would rile inside about the mess, but writing this I wondered why it was I never thought to brush the dog everyday then there would be less dog hair!
Great realisation Mary – the key is to bring it back to ourselves and see our own contribution to the whole.
I can totally relate to when you say ‘When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.’ For me it signifies that something is not quite right with the way I am living and treating myself. After all why would anyone want to live with mess and disorganisation – and it is even worse when you are living with someone else as it can make them feel like you do not care about them.
“I am beginning to see that I’ve often found myself living in a messy way, despite the fact that I dearly love simplicity and order.” I can really relate to this Leonne. I love the simplicity of order of the spaciousness of having a place for everything and only to have what is really needed ie has a use or a ‘purpose’ in the house. But I have realised over time how I have allowed myself to get attached to certain things that I have, so everytime I have a clear out I am not only doing so on a physical level, but can also feel how I am letting go of attachments and how much more spacious this feels in my body.
The less I rush the more space I seem to have to clean and tidy.
For me, being messy has been a reflection of my lack of responsibility.
Leonne, this is an article that is really supportive for me to read over and over again, mess has been a part of my life since I was a child, I have slowly become less messy as I have noticed how it effects me, but it is consistently having an ordered, tidy house that I have struggled with, when I get busy the house gets messy and so i can feel how important it is to see tidying the house as essential and bring this into my weekly rhythm.
“I have begun to appreciate that the reason why we do things and the resulting quality we do things in is more important than what we actually do.” The quality in which we do things everyday is the magic ingredient that leaves a tangible glow behind us. Well worth focusing on.
I used to wake up in a mess and at the end of the day go to sleep in a mess, my life was literally a mess, I could never find my wallet or car keys or anything else when I needed it and although I am definitely a long way off perfect life runs so much more smoothly without the mess. In fact if I when I make time for it, it is one of my favourite things to get rid of.
Mess for me indicates such an unkindness in our relationship wth ourselves… that we do not deserve the care. The bed making in the morning thing is such an amazing way to love ourselves back at the end of the day and a great reminder of how something we do in the day has a knock on effect and impact later.
It’s interesting how each end of the mess/cleaning spectrum can be dysfunctional. Having a super pristine home might ‘look better’ than total chaos but is it really? If there’s a neurotic element to it, chances are there’s more going on than meets the eye; a hiding beneath the perfectionism.
It always feels so amazing to clear my space/environment and to bring order and simplicity to my home or office. When I choose clutter and complication it doesn’t support me at all. I really appreciate the importance of simplicity and order for sure.
I am finding it very interesting and alarming that since first reading your blog, Leonne, I seem to be so much more aware of the mess I have allowed to accumulate around me. I feel a large part comes from not allowing the time to finish what I am doing and putting things away before moving on to the next project, or allowing a distraction to take me away from what I am doing prematurely.
Last night i found myself decluttering a couple of my kitchen utensil draws, and both the process and result felt so fantastic, i felt amazing too, and my body felt different, lighter, spacier — the condition of a drawer or cupboard reflects the condition of living, of life and the body too.
Yes, I did too. I found containers and items which I haven’t used in a good few years taking up space in my cupboards, I imagine I have the same with foods that are past their use by date which I no longer eat any more. I amaze myself with how long I leave it before my cupboards get a good sort through.
Feels amazing Zofia, Speaking of drawers, I’ve also noticed those moments where I go to be a bit sloppy or rushed about putting something away in a drawer and then I feel how that would be to allow that to happen, and how easy it is to choose instead to place it back in a way that considers the effect it will have overall.
Every imprint we leave behind is a reflection of us and we are responsible for its level of integrity.
Wowzers and yes. Big words and big responsibility – a joy to embrace and exhausting to resist!
That’s an interesting point. Many of us (I certainly used to) are convinced that a lack of responsibility is relaxing and can ease stress levels. But when you flip it on its head and say that we already have responsibility and that it is an effort and a drain to resist it, you’re in a whole other playing field.
When I was at University I lived in a share house of students and we did our best to eat regularly and clean up but a few times a week we just left the big washing up cleaning up mess on the table. To my enormous shame a cousin of mine who was quite a few years older than me and lived in a posh suburb turned up out of the blue to visit (hadn’t seen them for 10 years), and it was one of our mess days. I saw the place through the eyes of a visitor and really turned things around after this. Though I still occasionally lapsed – the things of the’ mind’ seemed more important to me at the time – getting essays in, having a good conversation etc.
It has only been since attending Universal Medicine courses and presentation that I have come to realise that clearing and cleaning up somebody else’s mess can be imposing when it is their opportunity to learn from the mess they have created.
Very true, Michael – it can be a challenging process, somehow someone else’s mess seems so much worse than your own!
Interesting question: true self care or putting on an appearance? We can so easily make it about ticking boxes for living a living life and pay ourself on the back. Yet it is our body and our experience of life that is real indication of our true relationship to ourself and to life.
We use so much time and energy ‘keeping up appearances’ but who are we doing this for? We can all feel energy, and so everyone can feel the falseness of this, the lie that is presented… so in fact we are wasting a great deal of time and energy on something that doesn’t even work!
Well said Paula, this is why it is so exhausting to keep up appearances. If we choose to live a lie, this never support us or others because it works in a way that drains our energy.
A profoundly honest sharing Leonne. I have always been rather tidy however have to admit that it is sometimes easy to ‘forget’ stuff that is living in a drawer and that it needs to be regularly cleared out and kept up to order.
There is no doubt for me that the space around me is a reflection of the space inside me. I used to think the space around me affected how I felt (affected the inside of me) but I have come to realise it is actually not that simple. My internal clutter can mean I am less bothered by clutter on the outside, it just feels normal. Yet when I do an internal clear out then I can be apalled at what I have taken as normal.
Do we all have a perception or perceptions of what we think “clean and orderly” is? I mean just for me it seems to change and while it’s not a perfect thing there does seem to be a living part to this. I can look back at my life and laugh at what I thought was clean and having order to now where I can see it’s messy. As you make changes your view of what things are takes the same change and so yes there is a base line that I would say these hit while at the same time like many other things there are forever subtle changes taking place. It’s great to consistently bring a forever freshness to things, having a look around you and seeing how things feel and then from there make adjustments to things that are out of place even though yesterday they were spot on.
As life never stand still but always evolves we need to clean up what otherwise keeps us from moving onwards, ie we need to take care of not carrying the past that otherwise hinders the future to be the presence.
Alex wise words, I love this it applies universally to everything. With that intention behind cleaning things are very different.
I love those words of wisdom Alex. So true. I have found it staggering how many old patterns and behaviours I carry around with me and hang onto just in case, and reflecting how I can do this with objects shows how easily I can let things get cluttered and disorganised hindering me moving forwards and keeping a foot (if not more) in the familiar patterns of the past.
Rather than judge myself when life feels like it’s a bit messy what understanding can I bring to support myself and others? I’d say it would be to just stop and take a moment to reconnect and feel my true quality so none of what can feel like invading energy is not given precedence. Then I’m able to be in the quality I would like and don’t get caught up in making life perfect, then only when this is tidied will life be ok. Life is already ok and in that movement all does get cleaned up.
I remember as a child I hated cleaning my room – it was always looking like a bomb of clothes and toys had gone off – I never put anything back, everything just went straight on the floor. At the time, I felt no motivation to clean up and no matter what my mum did I never wanted to clean my room – I couldn’t feel the disregard and abuse I was choosing to sleep in. It was as I got older and I started to get a sense of the possibility that my room could actually be a space that was supportive that I started to try to be more tidy – it took a long time to develop but slowly I had enough sense of self-worth to actually want to take care of myself, my room and my clothes and keep my room tidy. But it is only in the last year that it has gone to another level, one where my room never gets anywhere near untidy because I maintain it more on a level of quality than physical appearance – my room is a sacred space where I am supported to let go and surrender into sleep, or work etc and therefor the space reflects this – i can finally feel worthy of keeping my room in this quality of love and care, because I am that quality of love and the love feeds me back
Like exercise – I alway feel much better after a good clean.
It’s such a great gift to ourselves when we do choose to throw out or clean up our living space, making way for even more self loving choices.
Cleaning up a mess is a wonderful opportunity to change something to a quality that truly reflects what we stand for and represent.
There are many small ways in which we can care for ourselves and our environment: emptying bins rather than constantly crushing more stuff into them till the bags burst, folding up old shopping bags so they take up less space and are nice to re-use, putting things away when they are not required, folding up our clothes at night, putting away what we don’t need the next day – all these things we often don’t bother about but feel lovely to do.
We all know when we get around to sorting out our clutter, it feels great. It is not simply a physical sorting of the accumulated stuff, we are clearing out the delay in our lives. Making some space in the house makes some space in our bodies too.
That is what I am finding gillrandall, they are one and the same so it is such a great support for when we get a bit stuck in our lives, or find life getting emotional and complicated to come back to the simplicity of a tidy up.
I have never liked being in a mess and will often have to tidy up or shift things around and I always feel so much better when I do. The environment that we create for ourselves plays a big part in our wellbeing.
When I was a teenager, I feel my lack of commitment to life led to an untidiness in my room etc, an attitude of ‘why bother?’ I can recognise now how much this attitude has changed, thank goodness, because what supports me greatly throughout the day is order and flow.
Leonne I remember walking into someones home and it was so clean and tidy but what stood out was the warmth, love and support. For me this quality in the home was far greater than the tidiness, yet they supported each other. To me it shows the amazing power when we combine true self care with order and precision in the home.
‘Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life.’ I used to clean in resentment, but knowing that when I now clean I am committing to reimprinting energy makes a huge difference in how I feel when I am doing it. This doesn’t just impact myself and my family but does ripple out much further and so there is also purpose in this commitment that feels true.
I love simplicity and order too, and as a child I would tidy my room and keep it like that for ages. However, the time would always come when it would change and I would start leaving things around. It would only take the misplacement of one or two items and the feeling of my room would change. This is still the case today. Even though my whole life feels better when my room is gorgeously tidy. clean and spotless I still allow the mess to creep in. It then takes more effort to rectify.
We are only cheating ourselves when we clean and tidy up for the sole purpose of keeping up appearances – there is no power, no spaciousness and instead just an image that we think we need to chase after.
I can relate to that Gabriele. I find that when I am cleaning or tidying up to keep up with appearance or to get the job/task done it is hard, it feels ardous and long… the opposite of enjoying the task, doing it almost effortlessly and feeling the change in the environment.
Great point. The desired outcome of a tidy space is completely false when it is done for appearances rather than true care of ourselves and others.
‘When the kitchen is a mess, I can’t even cook a decent meal because I feel ‘all over the place.’’ We can sometimes let mess affect us for days, weeks or even months, where piles of paperwork or untidy clothes, dishes etc. pile up but the crazy thing is that after a few minutes of clearing away, everything could feel totally amazing and supportive! We just have to dedicate a small amount of time to it…
Agree Susie. Sometimes we can over complicate or think it will require a lot of time to clean or organise a space, but once you start you notice it was quite straightforward and simple. I noticed recently I was postponing organising my shoes. One day I needed to pack specific shoes and noticed I had enough of that postponing. Whilst I was picking the shoes to pack I cleaned the shelves, organised the other shoes and even considered giving some shoes I have not been wearing to a charity shop. It felt great and took very little amount of time.
I recently decided to clean and organise my shoes too Priscila and found that I was holding onto old shoes which I could no longer wear because my walk has changed significantly and it no longer feels like my feet roll in as much.
It seems like most of us experience doing an extra bit of cleaning when guests are coming around. The difference though when we keep the house in order on the rest of our lives is huge. I know for me it means when I come back after work my body can let go more and rest without thinking I need to do this or that. I also sleep much better when I know what has needed to be done is done and the room is not messy with clothes all over the place!
You summed it up beautifully by saying the more space there is, and you create, the more the opportunity to feel our amazing you are.
I can certainly relate to the pattern of the facade or order whereas beneath the scenes I had stuffed things in cupboards and boxes. I’m enjoying more transparency in my life and the simplicity and order I’ve brought to my home.
What a grace to be able to move from the attitude of keeping up appearances into the activity of doing the housework for yourself, to support you through your day and to confirm your commitment to life. The quality that is put into your home is then a joy to feel, the resulting simplicity and clarity will support so many more people than we realize.
The more we feel energy the more we will feel uncomfortable when something is not where it is meant to be and then do something about it. When we put things where they are meant to go it creates space and feels more harmonious. Our house has very little clutter but the garage is another story and one I can feel every time I open the door.
To be honest about doing things ‘just’ as a task has been very exposing for me. What I realise when reading these experiences is how I want to get a reward from what I am doing. It feels lovely to have a clean and empty house, yet I can feel how often I choose to allow myself to feel how lovely it feels. As if I don’t deserve the worth I’m giving myself. Giving permission to feel my own worthiness feels very loving and important. Thank you Leonne for inspiring me.
For many years I worked as an estate agent and there is an enormous difference between the feel of a home that has been cleaned and organised with love and care to one that ‘looks good’ where there is a lack of love within the home.
When we see cleaning like this we can start to appreciate the impact of all our choices and how one simple choice to clean and tidy with purpose builds a foundation for the next.
Leonne, so much of what you have written here I can relate to, especially judging others for living in a mess and then equally judging myself for having mess at home. Clearing out and creating space is key for us feeling spacious within ourselves.
Whenever we leave a mess behind us, there is always something there for us to reflect on as to why we have left it incomplete. What I have come to realise is that I have accumulated ‘stuff’ in my life which then has to be dealt with, and that requires my time which is a great distraction that takes me away from the things that are being called for me to do. So it is a way of me avoiding bringing all of me to all that I do. The less stuff we have, the less time it takes to keep everything in order and consequently the more time we have to be of true service when it is called for.
It is beautiful to place the question of ‘why’ before what we do. It gives us an opportunity to address the underlying intentions behind each of our activities, which will always eventually lead to a greater sense of responsibility towards eachother.
Having done the odd job of professional cleaning here and there, this blog got me thinking, that if we make a mess and get someone else in to clean it, then do we accrue karma for not taking responsibility for our own mess in the first instance???
Leonne, I love this article and can really relate to what you have written; it is very supportive and exposing for me to read. This shows me that it is irresponsible to keep my house messy; ‘Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life’.
I had to smile at your hidden drawers full of stuff:) How many of these drawers do we have inside of us that we don’t wish to open?
Living in a mess is really about not finishing things. We move on from one thing before we have completed the last thus creating a state of chaos.
Reading this again has made me think about the back shed and my work lock up, both of which need a good tidy. Because most of the time they are out of sight out of mind doesn’t take away from the fact they will still be affecting me energetically if they are in a mess.
We can never make it about pleasing others because if we do it leaves us empty and disconnected. It is never about please others but about being real and true to ourselves and others.
“As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life.” I love that Leonne and therefore cleaning up our rooms is such joy as we allow ourselves to feel the love we have for us, the world and to god.
I know that to from the past, big cleanups before we had visitors coming and making myself stressed and exhausted at the time the visitors where arriving. It was like keeping something up, a false facade that I thought the visitors expected me to be, but actually was not. That is completely different now, since I found that rhythm and order in my life is enormous supportive and the fact that I do know how to do and maintain that effortlessly, I feel more honoring to myself and my being as I live who I am and now can see that how I lived in the past was in denial of that which I am and know from my essence. There is nothing to rush anymore when people want to visit our home as it is always prepared to welcome visitors with the same respect and love I have for myself.
Order is my absolute rock and without it my life would be built on quicksand.
The words “energetic mess” comes to me when I read this blog. The clean floors, the polished surfaces can be pleasing on the eyes yet the quality that we live in each movement with ourselves and each and everything around us speaks just as loud.
“Serge shared that he religiously makes his bed every day, as this is part of his commitment to himself and his commitment to life” – a few years ago i once left my bed unmade because the cleaner was coming in that day and i thought it would be easier for her to take the sheets off the bed if it was unmade. Horror. To leave my bed unmade [when i religiously make it every day too] made me feel anxious and off all day, and when i came back to a made up bed it actually all felt wrong — a simple case of incompletion on my part spoiling the otherwise joy of a nicely ironed sheeted bed — despite appearances, i was coming back to the quality of incompletion.
Indeed zofia, it feels like returning into a place that is unprepared, that is not expecting you te come in and not at least, is not able to honour you with the grace and decency that we all know so well inside out.
Haha, I love your ‘horror story’ Zofia and what it teaches us.
Each pile of clothing or solitary utensil left on the kitchen bench seems to make it more difficult for me to feel what is going on around me. When the kitchen is a mess, I can’t even cook a decent meal because I feel ‘all over the place.’ I agree Leonne. It is so beautiful to walk into a home or kitchen where there is loving order and space as I immediately feel a response in my body as it smiles back to this welcoming energy. And I am not talking about a strictly order made by rules, which can be saying ‘don’t touch me, don’t surrender to this place’ – it is an expansiveness and a clarity that is the sweetest thing.
I always know when I haven’t left enough space around what I am doing, or that I have just gone into a drive to get something done without any presence when I look around and see things are left unfinished, or placed in a way that was not loving. That’s a great stop moment to stop and breathe and then bring grace and tenderness back into the equation.
From memory this is much more a part of the Montessori Education system. One of my children attended a Montessori school for a few years and I remember they were very particular about children only taking out one thing at a time to work on, there was an order in the way things were taken out and put away, always requiring the same level of care. They weren’t allowed to move onto another project until everything was in it’s place. In the same way, there was an order in the way they learnt to write, first drawing letters in the air, then using a finger to draw them in the sand and then finally being able to start using a pen on paper.
Growing up I don’t recall ever really having a messy room but I do remember feeling quite distressed when the rest of the house would be left messy. When the whole house was tidied and organised I would feel the change very acutely. Now though, I have started to not make our bed which after reading this today I can feel how much I dislike it and how much it affects my sleep. There is so much love and respect in looking at our surroundings and our environment and how we keep them.
I live with my family and as five adults we are capable of creating a lot of mess. What I am appreciating more and more is the power of reflection. Until I have fully addressed my own ‘issues’ with mess, I am not going to be heard or taken seriously when I ‘have a go’ at anyone else for their mess. Somehow I always seem to notice other people’s mess so much more than my own! Definitely time for me to address what I am not wanting to see.
Great sharing, how easy it is to hide behind mess around the house and rooms. I can complete understand when we have cleared up space and our surrenders how more spacious it feels and how there is more of a flow. The whole body feels different as there is space for deeper connection.
I love this subject and it is close to my heart – I love the beauty in things being in order and this is never just about appearance but on a deeper level. This can be felt in the way we live in our environments and is of true support.
I grew up with beliefs that messy living was shameful and instead of being inspired to assess why this behaviour happened for me, my strategy became forcing myself to change the surface appearance. On reflection I realise how such a strategy has resulted in me feeling a fraud, and kept me under the cursed of the label ‘shameful’ without questioning the whole thing.
Leonne thank you so much for going there and the gorgeous honesty with which you have shared your experiences and strategies. It opens it up for me and others to more openly asses where we may be in our own unfolding.
“I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place.” What a gorgeous incentive to let go of the rot, and allow the space for wonderful to come in.
Although I have always made my bed, I can so relate to doing a quick tidy-up and clean before visitors arrive – putting those papers in drawers so the outer appearance is always one of a clean and tidy space, but still having to deal with them and file them away later. And what intrigues me about this is why don’t I maintain a clean space for myself everyday anyway? I have always seen cleaning as a chore – something that ‘has’ to be done. This is where it comes down to the true self-care you share here – of feeling I deserve that clean space and honouring myself by maintaining it… and enjoying the process!
What makes me laugh and cringe all at once about this blog, is how we kid ourselves thinking that we can get away with unloving or disregarding behaviour when no-one is looking. Universal Medicine has taught me that everything is everything, that each movement (or even thought) has a ripple affect out into the world, and there is no getting away from that fact!
This is so true Leonne…”I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place.” When we let go of our ideals and beliefs, all those pictures we chose to believe in and which contained us in a set pattern of tension, there is so much more space and freedom in our bodies for truth, for love and harmony, and to be the divine sweetness of who we truly are.
A physical mess, even a small one can be a good indicator that there is something to deal with – it could be neglect or overwhelm or one of many other things.
I recall years ago being in a university library and photocopying pages from a journal and running out of money to copy the very last page of this journal article which was a half page with a couple of references on it. I sat there for ages wondering what to do and then made the decision to tear the last page out and take it home. I had never done anything like this before, I had been brought up to see books and journals as almost ‘sacred’ – It felt akin to stealing. So, I did this, but for months on end I felt terrible – I could not sleep, I just wanted to cry for what I had done, and the guilt was all-consuming. I never got found out (other than my roommate, who I confessed to – and my room mate just laughed saying he had never encountered someone who was so honest and felt guilty about such a ‘small’ act of delinquency. But to me this was still not ok to do). To this day I know I would never ever do this again. It was my lesson and did not matter that no one else knew, as it left a tension so awful in my body that I would not want to live with that again. So I can relate to your sharing Leonne about the lack of sleep whilst your stash lay under the very bed you would lay down in!
Beautifully laid out Leonne, it is true, ultimately cleaning and keep a space clear of clutter or the chattels from previous activities, allows the space to feel yourself and for whatever is needed next. I can completely relate to feeling scattered if I attempt to cook in a messy kitchen. Even dishes in the dishrack from the night before I find disturbing if I am trying to prepare a meal.
If we appreciate who we are in essence first and then care for ourselves and our home from that appreciation it leaves behind a very different imprint to cleaning from a foundation of thinking we’re not good enough or ‘unclean’.
Fiona, that’s beautiful as it takes away any judgment or criticism and leaves such a different feel behind us.
My young son is a ‘stasher’ – I will find his dirty socks stashed under the couch cushions or his PJs shoved under the bedside table or jeans shoved behind his cupboard door. Or to not have to pick up and fold and put back clean clothes he will put them all in the laundry basket for washing – this means a LOT of washing! I have actually learned to see this as quite hilarious, and these days it cracks me up, but there are times when I get annoyed by it too. With what Leonne, has presented here, it gives a better understanding of what is happening and I do know that he actually wants to be found out on one level as the tension he feels from what he has done that is ‘secret’ makes him unsettled, and his whole body relaxes the moment we have discovered a new stash of his! And the reflection for me has also been to ensure that I do not impose upon him, but keep encouraging the order and cleanliness as I know that to be of support to him in the long run.
Your blog is really timely Leonne. Some days ago I noticed that I was leaving some tasks unfinished, like leaving clothes in the wrong places, leaving papers where I normally do not leave them… And I looked at it and clocked that I was sabotaging myself as I knew that I would have busier days and weeks ahead – and these unfinished tasks would create disorder and extra work for me. I clocked it, laughed and immediately acted on it, completing the tasks. It felt very powerful yet so simple.
Why are we not all encouraged to like simplicity and order, there is often a put down if we embrace order in our lives. How often do you hear the phrase, they’re a bit OCD about this. What if its not OCD but just our natural love of being organised, and having everything organised for ease in our bodies.
Your blog made me giggle as I used the under-the-bed tidy up as a child and can see my kids use the ‘behind closed doors’ approach today! It is clearly an out-of-sight out-of-mind approach and must be very common because there are expressions to describe it. The danger comes when we use that same approach to other areas of our lives thinking that what we do behind closed doors does not affect what we do in our working day. The simple fact of the matter is we do not sleep well when we are sleeping on a pile of undealt with ‘stuff’ – even if it is behind closed doors.
Spot on Lucy, well said! There is this “out-of-sight out-of-mind approach” which we must watch out for. And in effect how we live behind closed doors when we think no one is watching, is our real base-line behaviour, in other words our real and honest way of living. This can be very exposing to feel, and I know sometimes I will catch myself doing or thinking things differently to when I am alone versus when someone else is there with me. This alone exposes that there is a ‘fake’ front that we can show others. A good one to reflect upon and learn from.
I found it was never out of mind for me but always a little oppressive, though many times I found that oppressiveness quite comfortable.
When cleaning to keep up the appearance of something that is not true will always feel like a chore or burden that has to be done usually with no care involved, however, when we live in the appreciation of our beingness cleaning our spaces is a joy and celebration of who we are.
Lovely to reflect on what you have written Leonne. Most of the time I like to keep things tidy and can appreciate the spaciousness that this generates. There are times however that I allow my own work area to get messy or I too revert back to an old habit of stuffing items of clothing into the drawers rather than taking the time to fold them and placing them in more lovingly. I now realise these habits are a reflection of my disregard and lack of commitment to self and to life. Thanks Leonne.
What comes out here is the care that we take – the way we hold our quality within every moment and this means that even behind closed doors we stick with the quality. Cleaning up is something that brings me back – if I allow clutter in my life and all around me then nothing seems to flow – so it is so important to how I live.
Great blog Leonne, showing that everything is energy and everything is because of energy as the teaching of Serge Benhayon goes. Everything we do – even if we and others cannot see it, because the mess is hidden under the bed – it will affect us in more ways than we care to admit. Your blog is a beautiful exposure of this fact.
I have always thought it was crazy to clean the house because someone was coming to visit. It is because it is the wrong reason to clean your house.
Are we ashamed of how we are living, and we do not want people to know, especially our mom?
Just because we look good on the outside, does that make everything ok?
I am really getting it, that I know truth all the time, I just have to trust the feeling I am am always feeling about what is going on.
If we live like that we will change the world.
Clutter really bothers me. There are some areas I am very organised and I need to appreciate this and the fact that I do keep in refining this. But when you mentioned the mess under the bed ( something I’ve changed in my room where I stored my summer or winter clothes I now store them elsewhere and keep area clear- generally speaking!) and feeling unable to tidy because it had got too much. I have this with sorting through my finances. But I know to clear the space and just make a small start as I know there are some realities I can’t ignore. Ignoring what’s there to see takes energy and is draining.
For some order is scoffed at for being controlling and anal. For others, it provides a sense of space and flow, whether that is inside or outside of our bodies.
“And the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” It never ceases to astound me how much time and energy we put into dimming ourselves down… when we could be living the amazingness we truly are!
It makes sense that when we throw out unwanted items space is created and simplicity can be lived.
How beautiful it is to open a cupboard door and find the contents in order and in harmony.
As I read this, I couldn’t but not think my daughter and how messy her room is and it has given me a lot more understanding of where she is at!
The mess we create around us does affect us on many levels. The example you gave us of not being able to sleep with the mess under your bed is a great example. Everything affects everything and our choices affects us more than think.
I love this blog – how would we live if there was no one to watch us, and conversely how would we live if there was always someone we respected highly watching us always. Some might see this as ‘big brother’, living in fear or under constant critical observation. But the exercise is an interesting one – if we would change, perhaps live more tidily, go to bed rather than staying up super late watching TV, cook dinner rather than just eat ice cream out of the tub, not gossip and make fun of someone – if we wouldn’t do this in front of someone who we respect, we do we do it when it is just us or people who let us get away with being less than the all we are? What is our standard everywhere, do we act to keep up appearances but let it all go when we are seemingly alone or do we treat ourselves with the same respect and love always?
A very tidy house can sometimes feel cold a loveless – so tidiness in itself is not a virtue. A loving order and cleanliness in the house is a very beautiful thing and a bit of mess is entirely okay as long as the love is there. I know sometimes when I am writing something that has needed research I have had to have papers all around me and have had to leave them overnight so that I can take it all up in the morning and know where every bit of info is to apply it. I just surrender to the mess knowing that a beautiful article is being written.
I always made my bed in the past but it was more just pulling the duvet up and not with the love and care that I do these day. These days I am aware that the quality that I make my bed with leaves an imprint that greets me when I return to it. Therefore I make my bed super lovingly for the precious person (me) who will be returning in the evening and that is the gorgeous imprint that greets me and spends the night with me (as well as my gorgeous husband).
There is a vast difference between doing anything for appearances sake, and actually doing it with love and purpose. We are obsessed with facades and veneers on earth because we are judged by these things when all the time the only thing that is worthwhile is the quality of the energy in which we do things. Doing something to keep up appearances cause an energetic barrier between us and others – such a protection device.
Mess is something we try to hide from others but in the end we are not fooling anyone as there is no way we can truly hide what we are choosing.
So true Leonne, we can’t hide anything really. We think nobody can see what we are choosing and therefore our choices don’t always matter but it does and eventually we will have to take responsibility for all our choices. This is a loving way to learn and evolve.
So true and in the end the one that is affected most by our mess is ourselves and no trying to hide the fact will change that.
I used to think it was ok for teenager to have untidy bedrooms because that was my experience of myself, and my children as teenagers. But I hadn’t fully understood the impact energetically on the rest of the house, I used to think when I closed the door and it didn’t matter.. out of sight, out of mind. Feeling the world energetically, I am now aware that everything matters so my cluttered drawers are reflecting something to me about my cluttered mind and body, time for another loving clear out after reading this, thank you Leonne.
Amazing reflections Leonne, our physical environment revels so much, and on that note, I am now going to tidy my desk!
When I have cleaned through my home, washed, vacuumed, cleared away clutter, I feel amazing – lighter, more joyful, open, inviting, this is evidence it is deeply nurturing and claiming of who we are.
How we feel inside is reflected by how we look after ourselves, as well as our rooms, homes, cars and workplaces… When we feel amazing, mess and untidiness totally throws a spanner into our flow, and it’s impossible to feel completely content when there is such a difference in how we feel and how we are living.
There is a saying that goes something along the lines of ‘if you make your bed you have to lie in it’, which basically means that whatever we do in life and however we are when we do it, we have to feel and experience the consequences of that. In this case Leonne, you literally were lying in your bed and feeling the consequences of not tidying up! A great blog, thank you, showing us all how important it is to clean up after ourselves regardless of how small the task is, what it is or where we are.
The mess under the bed and not being able to sleep is also a beautiful metaphor for everything in life we have swept under the rug and hence is incomplete, disorderly, out of sorts, disharmonies, not dealt with, hidden, secret, suppressed, troubling us – it is a way of living on the basis of avoiding responsibility and carving a way through life. No wonder that we feel unsettled and or everything we need to do to not feel the unsettlement.
Good point Alex, we all have a tendency to hide things and sweep them under the rug, not acknowledging how much that actually affects our daily life.
Well said Alex, how we hide things in our homes, in drawers, in cupboards or even under beds is no different to how we hide emotions and hurts in our bodies and also hold on to beliefs and ideals in our minds. This affects us so much more than we like to acknowledge at times.
Revealing to acknowledge how I have always seen cleaning as a chore rather than something that supports me to be more of me. Thank you for exposing how twisted so many of our default behaviours are and how we sabotage ourselves from shining our light in so many ways.
Deep appreciation for your honesty and the parallels that you draw between the mess we allow in our bodies and the mess in our homes and the reflections that are available to us all the time. I can relate to tidying up to keep up appearances and also to being perfunctory in how I take care of myself and it has been a gradual process to begin taking more loving care of myself and my surroundings which I am constantly refining.
Yes Helen it seems to need constant fine tuning doesn’t it? Initially, it is about tidying the space around us, then that doesn’t quite do it and we realise it is the space within us that has equal effect, therefore, we look at what we are eating. Then there is the realisation that how and even why we tidy and eat equally have an effect. There will be a constant unpeeling of understanding I suspect!
I guess if we feel ashamed about a mess that is a big sign we need to change, but all of us feel affected by our own mess, whatever the scale. For me it is leaving jackets about, or my latest developement, to commit to deeply clean a space and not settle for the superficial. Whatever it is, my experience is the collective sigh and relaxing in my body when I clean and tidy for my health and wellbeing.
I love the playfulness and honesty in this blog. Thank you for being so transparent. I’m sure many of us can relate to this.
I have recently made a commitment to keeping my car clean of empty water bottles and rubbish and it feels very supportive to get into a car that is not cluttered. If clutter builds up I feel anxious about the mess and there is a constant nagging in the back of my mind that needs to get it sorted. What a waste of energy when it would take no time at all to go and get it cleaned.
My environment is a reflection of my connection to me, the more connected I am the more organised my space around me is.
Sweeping mess in our life (whether it be physical possessions or issues) ‘under the carpet’ or ‘under the bed’ puts it out of immediate sight but it still affects our state of being.
Even if we can’t see things, they do affect us so better to clean it up rather than sweep it under.
Just because something is tidy and neat does not mean it is full of love and care. I also fully understand and appreciate this fact as it can be easy to get deceived by the eyes unless we feel the quality of that room or space. The same goes for our homes, I know I can make something look good when in fact it is missing the fullness of love as its been done not out of love and care but out of having to complete a task or keeping up appearances.
Leonne, I love this article, I grew up in a very messy household, I even used to pride myself on my chaotic room as a teenager, more and more I have realized that this way of living is not supportive and I now love it when my house is tidy, it is keeping it consistently tidy that is a work in progress for me, but when I tidy without it being a rush it feels very joyful.
Thank you Leonne for a wonderful blog. Having chosen chaos over order all my life until recently I am amazed at how beautiful the act of lovingly tidying and cleaning the house now feels when it has been something I have fought for eons.
This blog has brought up a number of issues for me, memories of the past and pondering as to how I am now. As a child I was at Boarding school where we had to make our beds and keep our cubicles tidy, and I was good at that. Once my parents were back in the UK we had a house where I shared a room with one of my sisters and if I recall correctly, I was pretty good at keeping that tidy too. Where I fell down seriously on the tidiness stakes was some years into my marriage when we bought a big house – we used to do the stuffing things into drawers when we had people coming and also I had my own office which became very untidy – I have a photograph somewhere of the piles of paper, books, projects, things that flowed off the desk onto the floor. Every now and then I would have a spate of tidiness and it would look amazing for a few months but soon become untidy again. Now, years on I am in a new relationship in another country and we have just moved into our first house together. Everything feels a bit chaotic while I am adapting to the new space, but what supports me most is keeping the kitchen tidy, washing up after every meal and making the bed. It felt great once I’d unpacked all my clothes and found a space for everything. There’s an old saying, ‘A place for everything and everything in its place’.
How tidy I am has been concisely reflective, in how I feel about myself, do I feel order, love, care, do I want to support myself, then everything finds its place, if I am dis-harmonious, unprepared, rushing than my home reflects this….I am still working through years of disregard in my home, removing things I do not need, saving up for new furniture, keeping what I have in order, fixing things, getting through the hoarded photos and letters etc…it is a process and one I have to say I am very much enjoying the home is becoming more spacious, there is more flow and it feels more amazing all the time….like me….they correlate.
Often I find little piles of unfinished tidying which I tell myself I will put away later, and then it’s still there the next day, and the next. Then I can feel the resistance of completing the task telling myself I don’t know what to do with it all, but then the other day I committed to completing two tasks in my bedroom and it only took minutes. It felt amazing to finally find a home for the items and to complete the task, leaving the room feeling clearer.
When we tidy our houses only before guests arrive, we do not honour ourselves and our own living space thus cleaning and tidying up at home is to look good for others. It is far more nurturing and honouring to choose order, simplicity and harmony for ourselves first knowing we are worth it.
As I grew up I became more and more tidy and when I left home became quite obsessive about it. However my relationship with housework was actually driven by a great deal of toxicity within me, an untidy or dirty environment was actually too much for me to physically bear. Learning to care deeply for myself, to clean up my diet as you have done Leonne and throw out the toxic thoughts with the rubbish has delivered a genuine love of the quality of my inner and outer environment. While still a very naturally tidy person, the drive and obsession has abated. Keeping my home and work space clean and beautiful is a joy, a natural part of creating a welcoming space for everyone to enjoy self included, beginning with making the bed every day without perfection but with a great deal of love.
I love this Rowena. The distinction you make here is really important, because of course how we tidy is the direct outplay of our relationship with ourselves. I used to tidy and clean too in hardness and resentment, especially if I had to do it after someone else who refused to take responsibility for their mess. Having worked on creating more space in my body it is a natural consequence that there is more space and lightness in my home environment, which in turn allows for a deepening of the space in my body.
Great point you make here rowenakstewart in that it is not necessarily just the act of tidying up but the quality it is done in that counts. I have definitely been to some houses where everything is very neat and tidy and clean but the space still does not feel right – there is a coldness or emptiness if it has been done in a way that is obsessive or without true self love as its intention.
“When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.” I have found this too, Leonne but I have also found that if I am trying to be tidy rather than it being something I naturally do, then it is done in a controlling way and reflects the control I am seeking in my life. If I can control I don’t have to look at certain areas of my life that I may be avoiding because on the surface everything looks fine, but look in the garage or a few cupboards and the cracks appear.
The simplicity of tidying or cleaning brings so much love to a space that not only supports us but everyone. I find myself tidying my work kitchen when I go to rinse out my lunch container, it only takes a couple of minutes just that simple act prepares the area for another to enjoy.
I too grew up feeling that cleaning was a punishment or a chore. Imagine if from a young age we were taught that cleaning was a joy, an important part of life which cleared our space so we could be unencumbered with what ever we needed to use the space for. As well, that the quality we cleaned in is felt by and has an affect on any one that enters the home. I know that that would have supported me with a different attitude to cleaning then the one I had from a very young age.
I, too, experienced as a child tidying up as a chore and still find there can be a reluctance. Whenever that occurs I have found that there is a reflection of something else in my life that I am feeling reluctant about. When I deal with that, then cleaning becomes flowing.
I always used to have a bit of a rushed tidy up before having guests over and liked the feeling of everything in its place, but didn’t always maintain the order for myself. But now I appreciate having that order as I can feel the support it offers in every way.
This behaviour of cleaning up any areas of the house that other people see and leaving private areas, as they are, is very exposing. When someone mistakenly wandered into my bedroom, trying to find the bathroom, I felt panic, remorse, then a sense of being invaded. I was very uncomfortable with them seeing a room I hadn’t expected them to be in, why, because it wasn’t tidy? No, the real reason was I was hiding the fact that I was not putting in the level of self-care and self-love that I deserve, and I was exposed.
It is such a bummer when we grow up thinking cleaning is a punishment or a chore as it is such a loving thing we can do for ourselves. I grew up thinking I was just a messy person and there wasn’t a lot I good do about it. The fact is I really enjoy cleaning and things just feel so much better afterwards but sometimes I still lack the motivation to start or I let things get out of hand in the first place.
Leonne this is a real treasure and very supportive to read. Understanding why we truly choose mess can support us to let go of judgement, shame and embarrassment and begin the process to simply choose self care and self love in our homes and work environments. This was a great line that emphases focusing on the benefits of cleaning and tidying, as opposed to focusing on being messy “Now I know that cleaning up my mess can support my connection to the truth of who I am.” Thank you Leonne, your blog is a wonderful study that covers so many aspects of this topic, much appreciation for your generous sharing, one that I will read and be supported from many times over.
I find that the appreciation of completion is a great key, it leaves one with a feeling of completeness.
Yes we feel motivated to go to the next job, task or chore.
Lack of completion is a great way to avoid going to the next level with ourselves. Brining in more appreciation of how it feels to complete is a great food to keep completion happening, (note to self).
‘Each pile of clothing or solitary utensil left on the kitchen bench seems to make it more difficult for me to feel what is going on around me. When the kitchen is a mess, I can’t even cook a decent meal because I feel ‘all over the place.’ I can so relate to this – I love to have an ordered and clean kitchen before I cook anything. How tidy I am when I am cooking is a real barometer for where I am at with myself!
What I am coming to realise, appreciate, and put into play more and more in my own life also Leonne, is just how important a sense of order actually is. In the many years I’ve denied this of myself, I’ve realised it’s been due to my reaction to a world that I haven’t felt is supportive.
Bringing order into one’s life offers the space for us to live and express from the divinity that we are, and no less – denying it, is to deny the quality that would honour our innate divinity in every way.
I can relate very much Victoria, the world is a mess and therefore not supporting us in our natural order. So being confronted with this mess on a daily basis can wear one down and give up on the innate beauty of divine order that we all come from and intrinsically know and adhere to so naturally.
This is a brilliant blog Leonne – number one for your utter candidness, and number two, for the message you have shared here. We honour ourselves deeply when we bring order and maintain order in the way that we live. There is no ‘perfection’ in this, nor any need for being restrictive or controlling about it whatsoever – but the smallest change, e.g. making the bed every single morning (I’ve gone the same thing with this), can make the most enormous difference… if we are willing to give it – and ourselves – a go.
When growing up the reason that sleep was a problem came about because of the disincarnate beings that would haunt me at night from under my bed.
I’m loving everything about this blog. I often didn’t make my bed either, or if I did it was done very quickly without any true care. Now, I find there is something very beautiful about the time I take to make the bed for me and my husband, when I get into bed at night, the love feeds me back, it’s like receiving a warm goodnight hug, from me.
I too use many forms of excuses and delays to dull my awareness, responsibility and love. Understanding why I make certain choices and being honest about these choices really support me to shift my patterns and behaviours. Reading your blog is so supportive for me, thank you Leonne.
Thank you for being so honest Leonne! I find that I can justify keeping many items that I ought to have either passed on or thrown out! I feel the saying that before we bring a new article or possession into our lives we need to let go of one or two! I like to live in a tidy home but I am not always a tidy person so here lies the challenge!
I don’t need the let go of two before one enters. It has taken me 10 years to de-clutter both inside and out my life. At one point I had over 1000 DVDs, enough camping gear to support a small scout troop. I have found Free-cycle is a great way of having people come to you and take away your unwanted what ever! Disposing of unwanted items is like a snow ball rolling down a hill, it gets its own momentum.
Yes, I am at the start of the ‘big de-clutter’ and I can feel how once you start yout start to see other areas glaring at you that need your attention and the process gains momentum.
“Cleaning up our mess is a task that goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world”, I agree Leonne and would add that everything goes far beyond our relationship with the physical world
Stuffing odds and ends into drawers is a great apology for what we do with our behaviours and hurts, we stuff them away, thinking that they’re not going to get in the way of our ‘clean’ appearance but we carry those drawers around with us and others can feel them overflowing with stuff that we haven’t attended to.
I agree Alexis, others can feel how much stuff we carry around. As we start to carry less and less stuff some people can react as it exposes to themselves just how much they are carrying and some people become inspired as it reflects that they too can let go of their stuff. Serge Benhayon has provided to me a glorious reflection of how it looks to not carry stuff and that constantly inspires me to keep letting go of more and more.
Not only are Serge Benhayon’s ‘drawers and cupboards’ clean, spacious and clutter free but he has used love to line them.
I feel this too Alexis, cleaning analogy relates also to our behaviours and patterns. ‘Cleaning up our act’ is both internal and external.
When we do a job just to get the job done then we are not there whilst doing the job. We are as real as a hologram. On the other hand when we are in conscious presence whilst we do an activity then the whole of life is able to flow through us. The difference between the two states is what creates the world as it currently is or the world that we are from.
Beautiful Alexis there’s a world of difference between a job completed with presence and purpose and one done ‘just to get it done’. I love this ‘The difference between the two states is what creates the world as it currently is or the world that we are from’
Your story Leonne reminds me of the office/workplace kitchens and how dirty they very often become from all the people using them and dumping unwashed plates, cups into the sink.. and walking away expecting someone else to clear it up… it’s like you can feel the energy humming from all the unwashed things.. but also the hum too of utter disregard that’s being added to the cluttered sink. When I see such mess, I see-feel the mess of irresponsibility from not living with the regard of harmonic order.
Our rooms/houses/cars are most certainly a reflection of our lives and bodies.
Thanks Leonne, I always love reading your blogs. It has occurred to me that cleaning up as we go is really only completing every movement. If we cook, and then serve it up on a plate and eat, the very next step is to clean up. If we clean our teeth and make a mess of the basin and the mirror it seems logical that the completion of this act would be to wipe down the mirror and the basin. We only neglect these things when our mind has raced ahead to the next thing for when we are present it is the obvious next step just as chewing is when we place something in our mouths. So now I view cleaning up in a whole new way – where have I not allowed the space for completion and why was this so.
How many of us have played the game of ‘keeping up appearances’, while all the while the mess of what we have chosen to live lays buries beneath the polished surface? It is beautiful to feel through what you have written Leonne, that there is a way to deeply honour ourselves in each moment of our day and thereby prepare the ground upon which will then walk.
I used to live in an absolute mess also, to the point where I would claim that I couldn’t find things when it was tidy and hence the reason it needed to remain messy. Hilariously ridiculous! Since starting to care for myself some years ago, I have naturally become more aware of the effect a messy space has on me. It certainly does evoke a ‘given up’ type feeling, as we move one pile of stuff from one spot to another. Having a clear space that invites me to get going on whatever the task, cooking in the kitchen, working at my desk for example, is so much more conducive to getting things done with far less drama and upset.
There’s such settlement in tidying, sorting and clearing and finishing things, whether it’s physical stuff, tasks or thoughts.. when we allow things to accumulate unchecked we feel disordered and disorientated within ourselves.
For me, in my house and home, I feel like everything has a place…I dislike leaving for work knowing that things are out of place, or that the bed has not been made, or that I have not brushed my teeth! It leaves me feeling ‘unsettled’ till I get back and then, it matters not what time of the day it is but I have to make my bed even if just before hopping into it to go to sleep again! For a long time I thought that was strange compared to most people who would not make their bed in the mornings. Now I have realised these actions to make the bed and brush my teeth daily, are all an important part of a foundation I make for myself to grow further, just as Leonne has shared here in the blog.
I used to live in total oscillation – from mess to no mess and back again. It was rather exhausting as I loved living with no mess and so when I reverted back to being messy again it was the perfect reason to beat myself up, especially if I put off cleaning it up. The oscillation is not so pronounced these days but I still have messy moments; the only difference is that I don’t beat myself up, but take the opportunity to feel into whether there is a message from the mess – and there always is!
Leonne – a gorgeous blog and one that is easy to relate to for all of us I am sure! I can certainly relate in that I like to have things clean and orderly, but I need to watch out that the cleanliness and orderliness does not come as a priority over how I am when I go about doing it. Sometimes I seek the order and cleanliness from the outside as a means to control how I am feeling on the inside. I don’t like disorder and I don’t like a mess, but if I clean it all up out of ‘distaste’ and frustration then this does not make things any better – it is about clocking that the mess is unsupportive and then from there accepting that I am cleaning or organising in order to bring more flow and to love-up the area and hence myself and those around me. Thanks for this great reminder!
Thank you, Leonne, offering a truth and start realizing of what is so often the case: mess and or keeping up appearances, and how we are left to feel that we just need to be honest. Seeing truly what lays underneath and address that. To see it for what it is – feeling the truth of what you want – let go of that which is not that – and move on.
Oh My Goodness I can soooooo relate to this blog with regards to the mess I live in .. my bedroom being one of them where I will tidy it up and then as the weeks unfolds suddenly paperwork etc appears all around my room! As you have shared this is a reflection of how we live so it is showing me what I am not truly dealing with for things to creep back in … aka mess! Also it is a completely illusion that if we shove things in draws it is suddenly better .. or looks better as energetically this has still not been addressed and the mess is still there behind the door waiting to be dealt with.
Beautiful Leonne, you have written about something that is very dear to my heart, cleaning….We can definitely underestimate the impact of objects in our home and the effect they have on our movements. I have the saying in my head ‘to heal or harm’, this is how we can choose to set up our home. And I couldn’t agree more that our home is an incredible reflection for what is truly going on within.
It does make such a difference the way we care for ourselves and our home – whether we are trying to just put out a facade that we think we need to or whether it is because we appreciate the worth in how we care for ourselves and the impact that this has on everyone else…
‘ I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place. ‘ I love that I am seeing the rot so much more clearly too Leonne. It’s great to become more honest about what’s really going on and consciously let go of things, behaviours or ways of being that really don’t belong and to allow for the changes to take place. It is very much an enlightening process and it’s great when our friends support us in this.
Universal Medicine supports letting go of any shame, so we can look at our lives without shame or judgement and really see what is working for us and what is not, and then we have the choice to continue or let go.
Love your writings Leonne ans the lightness you bring with it. I have usually been a tidy person and would have ‘messy’ periods when I would relate to being ‘messy’ with myself. I love order, tidying up and organising things (I love boxes, containers and labels), but recently and as others have mentioned in their comments, I am now letting go of the way I perceived organised and tidy to be and becoming more aware about how the place/space impacts or supports me.
This blog talks about tidying the house to ‘keep up appearances’. But isn’t this something that many of us do in so many other aspects of our lives; the way we dress and present ourselves, the way we don’t say something that might upset or the way we try to sound intelligent to impress….It’s all lies and in the same way that it is deeply loving to clean our house for ourselves rather than others, it is deeply loving to dress for ourselves rather than others…as it is to have the self-love to be totally OK with saying “I don’t know” in a conversation or “no” to something that doesn’t feel true. If we live to honour and nurture ourselves we will change the world with our movements.
‘there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place.’ yes it’s great to keep clearing out that clutter with our homes, our lives and ourselves.. revealing the space and gems beneath.
And life can become quite joyful when we focus on what we are choosing to bring into our lives and simply let go of what’s not true or loving, rather than being in recrimination for what we did “wrong”.
Saying that I keep my room or house tidy somehow doesn’t feel quite right. When expressed in that way it’s as though I’m somehow controlling it and it wants to break out of the tidiness. I have a commitment to restoring my home to the loveliness it is. Mostly that means clearing what has come before. By this I mean things like straightening the cushions on the couch so that yesterday’s imprints are not there, or putting my clothes away so that when I walk into my walk in robe, I have a clean slate as opposed to previous goings on to be seen, felt and dealt with. It’s about not spreading myself over my house, both with my possession and energetically, so that I impose upon my space.
The bed is a great example, it is what we come back to every night, and if prepared with love and care in the morning, it sets us up for a good nights sleep. There is no doubt we leave imprints wherever we go, and we get to feel the choices we make through our imprints, be it the way we make our bed, complete admin, talk to someone, it is all the same.
Love this point Samantha of leaving imprints everywhere we go all of the time.
Yes I do too Samantha, I can certainly feel the quality I have made my bed with when I return to it but do I appreciate that the way I speak to someone also leaves an imprint. I find I can get caught up in conversations and do not bring the same quality love and care to people as I do to making my bed. Now that’s nuts.
I find that when my living space becomes disorderly, rather than just everyday living stuff not always in its rightful place, and starts to feel too much and uncomfortable in my body it is simply a reflection that stuff is coming up in me to deal with and rather like sometimes wanting to bury what is surfacing in my body, my outer environment stuff doesnt get put away and tidied. In addressing either one of these situations the other gets taken care of also! Magical!
I love your honesty Leonne in your sharing. Its true that when our rooms are out of sorts it compounds us being out of sorts. I find it fascinating that you couldn’t sleep as a child because of the mess under your bed. A room being put back to rights is simply gorgeous… and living in a house where order is maintained is even more gorgeous!
Wow I can really feel how I can avoid the order and tidiness I naturally want to live by when I seek to avoid awareness and knowing. This clarity would bring the knowing of what is needed and what is no longer acceptable in how I live, avoiding this is courting comfort and collusion with all that isn’t love. When I know each drawer, each compartment of my house is ordered, not perfect by any stretch, but ordered in a way that supports me, I can also feel how I have supported myself to be in the world.
Sometimes this isn’t always possible – so at work I would like all my cases to be just so but often things are intense and the time needed to order the files isn’t there. So remembering it’s about quality and doing what ever it is in this quality actually supports each file to feel up to date and present.
I know that I absolutely love everything being in order and everything being clean. When it isn’t I feel a level of stress, and yes I judge myself too. We need to reach the place of actually wanting to take care of things rather than doing it from a ‘should’. If there is a ‘should’ the judgement comes in. If we are doing it out of self-love we just get on with it with no judgement.
I love having a clean and tidy home. I find it so supportive. When it does get messy – which it does- i have often felt frustrated or sad in the past because I’ve been avoiding feeling the reflection being offered of my relationship to myself and because I live with my husband, our relationship to ourselves and each other. I’m less likely to react these days as I welcome the reflection as a point of learning, of evolution. Reacting is just a way of burying our heads in the sand.
There is nothing like a nice clean house, with everything tidied away in an ordered manner. Makes it much easier to find something when you need it and allows harmony to flow nicely!
For me things like making a bed are an important part of the day. As the article is saying at one point why make a bed that you are only going to sleep in that night, the statement makes sense but the feeling doesn’t. That is why things like this are an important part of the day because at some point you will return to them and I love the feeling of returning to something you have taken true care of when you left. There are a number of things similar like the house, it’s great to return to the house when you have taken true care when leaving. It’s not a tick box or a perfectly tidy thing but more the feeling that you have when you leave that is there waiting for you when you return.
It’s a sort of post-it note on the front door, from you to you, that says; “Welcome home. A small token to express how much I love you.”
It is like that, a reminder of when you return to it how much you do care. We often leave a place long before we physically walk away. We are already thinking about what we are doing in the afternoon when it’s only 9am in the morning. In other words we don’t spend enough time having all of ourselves in the one place. You don’t do something so it looks good when you come back to it, you more bring all of yourself to one spot as best you can and from there touch everything. From here naturally we take care in what we do from the mere fact you have all of yourself there doing it.
Ooohh, that is a beautiful detail you bring Ray. “you don’t do something something so it looks good when you come back to it, you more bring all of yourself to one spot…” This is supreme. Am I making my bed for tonight or am I making my bed for right now? I have definitely done lots of the former – function, appearances, going through the motions. Thank you Ray – great pull up.
Spot on Ray, “I love the feeling of returning to something you have taken true care of when you left.” it is a blessing that feeds us back two fold when we return to something that we have loved up on our departure.
These things are an imprint and you can have an imprint that supports you or one that goes the other way. The choice is ours because as is said these imprints “feed us back” and so you can have one that will support you more and more to expand that feeling of “true care” or you can have one that continues to take you away from that. It’s not that we don’t care as this comes naturally it’s more that we move around and leave an imprint that then feeds to us the other way. It makes sense that if you are always thinking about what’s to be done next or the next day etc and don’t dedicate yourself fully the best you can to the moment you are in then this is void of a deep care for yourself, an imprint is left of the same nature because part of you is somewhere else. So when you move back past that point what is it giving you? We like to think that the world isn’t like this, our view can be narrow but yet from this narrow view the world continues and has never made sense. If we open up more and more that the way you move around will either support you to see more or keep you seeing narrow and we are the ones that can be the driver in this.
For years I begrudged cleaning the house, feeling like it was a burden. But what I have come to realise is that I actually love cleaning and feeling the end results – there is nothing like it, and it makes a huge difference to the house depending on what energy we clean in.
I cannot stand leaving a mess, it is deeply disregarding of yourself but equally of the next person. Imagine if you had to use something someone else has left in a mess? In this way it is a crucial and fundamental part of being in brotherhood with all.
Our bodies love order and rhythm therefore having a rhythm that includes making our bed is very support for us.
It is lovely to expose our old behaviours Leonne, mine was that I would flick everywhere and not clean properly until someone would come and stay. Then I would do a blitz of cleaning in case my mucky habits were found out. The house would feel gorgeous after a great deep clean and I was aware I was not valuing myself because I would do this for others but not be bothered to do it for myself.
Every monring before leaving the house, I turn back and look at my room. I look at it both on a physical level – have I made my bed, are my clothes away or at least folded neatly, is my desk tidy etc – but I also feel it, what quality am I leaving behind because it is this quality that will greet me when I come home and may be the thing that supports me after a long or hard day, or be the thing that allows me to let go and just be myself, to deepen the amazing day I have had.
Coming to the realization that to only clean to keep up appearances or meet an ideal does not truly support you is a profound awareness… for superficial cleaning is not choosing responsibility, and it is only when responsibility becomes a part of your foundation does your life, mind and relationship with self and others truly begin to transform in light of the clarity and commitment you now bring.
What an amazing blog Leonne thanks for sharing. We have something in common we used to leave half eaten sandwiches in our bed eww how gross! And when I reflect on this now as I am a very orderly and Tidy person – it seems I was living the opposite to my nature at time. And what a great sharing of wisdom that these way our things are organised used is a reflection of how we are with life, ourselves and our thoughts, beautiful.
It is true that in letting go of what no longer serves us, creates space for more of what is true.
When something feels incomplete and neglected, I feel messy – as you say ‘all over the place’ inside and outside.
I love your way of concluding this great piece Leonne: ‘A huge thank you to Serge Benhayon for giving me the support I needed to start pulling things out from under the bed, and making it too!’ Ha ha! It reminds me of that saying: ‘you’ve made your bed now you have to sleep in it’ All about the consequences of mess, but interesting that they are both about beds. I too used to think that cleaning up is a waste of time, but now I cannot bear a really messy house, and I feel I am flying when i walk around my clean house – so so beautiful.
Cleaning up the rubbish and letting it go has to be celebrated as it is making even more space for what is true to take its place.
Mess anywhere correlates to mess somewhere within us. It might be a messy shed, a messy desk or even a messy drawer but wherever it is, it relates back to a lack of order in a certain part of us.
Order in my environment has become an absolute non negotiable, as it provides me with the foundational support to do everything else.
I too used to stack stuff under my bed. I can remember coming home from school one day to find everything from under my bed in the middle of my floor. I then had to go through it, put away and through out. I can’t say I learnt from this valuable lesson at the time because for most of my life I put cleaning off to the last minute. This is something I no longer do. I have come to honour that I have always loved a clean, clear space, and this is now my normal.
‘When judgmental thoughts about the choices that lead to the mess being there in the first place came up, they were swiftly thrown out with the garbage.’ That’s where they belong, judgemental thoughts create a mess too, a mess in our body, causing pollution which will make us frustrated and exhausted in the end.
Annelies this is so true! To be clear in our thoughts is what allows us the external reflection of clarity in how we live. I am so going to appreciate more greatly having a tidy house in my head!!
And I’m wondering how, in the same way that when I clear out old cupboards the place looks a little messy as I sort through things, that clearing out old thoughts and beliefs can be written down and more and more come out of the cupboard so to speak until the last, underlying stinky belief that’s hiding way back at the back of the cupboard, can be thrown out too.
Thank you Leonne, a messy house, room or area is something we constantly feel even though we get used to it. It is holding us back and taking our energy even if it is only slightly. So cleaning up has much more purpose than just making it look good it also helps us to feel clear and light.
Love your comment, Lieke, it’s so true, we do get used to our mess. Looking around me I am suddenly aware of how much mess I have accepted, not as being ok, but I’ve not done anything about it, yet. Energetically I can feel how this has been very draining. Time for a big clear up.
Absolutely Leonne, and I feel the same goes for what clutters up our minds!
Yes Janet, and bodies. A truly simple mind is a joy to communicate with – it’s like making love.
I have always been very tidy, but it was often executed as a function thus offering no support or evolution. It has to be embraced with the purpose of self-care and support and understood as foundation on which all of our life is supported.
After so many years of hiding the mess it is great that you are now being so transparent in expressing about it. That is in itself a big ‘tidy up’.
Thank you for writing this blog, there is so much I can relate to and it brings such clarity to the way I have sabotaged myself in the past. When I was feeling totally overwhelmed by life when my daughter was young I purposely kept the house messy so I couldn’t invite anyone round as a way of hiding from the world. Over the years I have gradually brought more order to my house and can really feel how this supports me in my daily life. However I still choose not to be consistent with this and it is always a reflection of my relationship with myself and a distraction from connecting to me and my purpose and thus avoiding responsibility.
What an amazing blog to share the reality of our mess and how we live and the real effect this has on our selves our body and our relationships. True self care and the quality of how we clear things and tidy up makes all the difference with the connection to our soul and this is a beautiful sharing of this so lovingly and honestly.
I love the connection that the mess was a way of avoiding awareness, that makes perfect sense to me and really helps me with understanding when I get into a mess or in fact as a child I was very tidy and then an incident happened where I was really supported by my soul and then became super messy for the next 20 + years, realising now that I reacted to the level of awareness I had and the support on offer by that which I cannot see but deeply feel is a major realisation – THANK YOU Leonne for writing this!
I used to pride myself that, although my office was different piles of papers i could always locate where the one I needed was. Taking time to sort, discard and file feels far more self-loving – something I did yesterday, just before your article was published! “When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself.” True, but a bit of an ouch!
I can so relate to your article Leonne. I have tended to put clutter clearing at the bottom of my ‘to-do’ list, but when I do tidy up my house and I feel more spacious. “True self-care simply supports our connection to ourselves. When we choose self-care we support ourselves to feel the truth of who we are.” Very true.
‘As I bring order to my environment, I begin to see that my relationship with objects and mess is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself and with life.’ I have noticed that when I am in disarray there is a propensity for my children to reflect that back to me in the physical mess they make and the lack of commitment that can be there to tidy it up. The disarray stems from any complication I have let in that I allow to own me.
I love order and harmony in my living space as I can feel how much clarity I have. When there is no clutter, I find it makes it easier to listen to my body and all it communicates. For example, I will get an impulse to clean the kitchen cupboards or look through my clothes and take out what I no longer way, but the point is every time I follow the impulse, it is never a ‘chore’, but actually it feels very honouring and loving which is part of deepening the relationship with myself , which is an on-going process.
I can really relate to what you’ve shared here Leonne and I feel inspired to appreciate how order and cleaning does bring so much space to my life, I absolutely love it! These days I don’t clean to keep up appearances but to feel that sense of space, order, lightness and completion.
This is amazing Leonne, that alongside giving your body an enormous clear out you felt the need to take tidying to a whole new level. The quality of the environments we live, sleep, eat, cook and come back to at the end of the day is what we make them to be, and it’s undeniable that a room full of disregard supports disregarding moods and behaviours.
I have definitely noticed how much order and simplicity supports me both at work and home. When my environment is ordered it feels like I can breathe fully again!
Thank you for sharing. Wow how interesting is it to read that the body really tricks you into self destructive behaviours that take us away from who we are. The mess we create is complication, and in this we have something to focus on rather than appreciating what we bring.
Wow Leonne, what an inspiring, honest and power-packed blog to read. There are sparkling gems of truth in every paragraph to ponder upon and appreciate.
Wow Leonne this is brilliant, i can relate to what you are saying here, as there is such a difference between cleaning and caring for myself as the quality of energy is something that I value and appreciate compared to doing the cleaning to have a house that looks good. No matter how good or tidy something may look or appear to be, if the quality is not love then their is always an emptiness and something missing, I notice this when I pick hotels that look good but when I turn up the coldness is palpable.
A beautifull account of how our surroundings reflects the how we live inside i.e. self love. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly, Leonne. Clearing out those aspects of our life that are not loving and supportive can be very challenging as it requires being honest as to why one is behaving in that way in the first place. Mine has been being reactive and defensive, which has led me to face and heal my feelings of self-loathing and lack of self-worth. A cleaning that has been so worthwhile and achievable with the loving support in particular of the Serge Benhayon, his family and my darling wife.
Leanne thank you for sharing. I know exactly what you mean about living with mess! I find as soon as I feel tired, or low my house reflects this because I start to leave things out and before I know it I find myself in a mess. Yet as soon as I would tidy up the whole house would feel so much better and more supportive. It infuriated my wife that I would do as she would feel surely if I know it feels better tidy and clean then why don’t I keep it this way. As you say it shows the way I was/am living so I can’t just say well I will keep it clean but rather need to address what it is which is causing me to be tired and not care about how the house is.
The power of an apparently small and simple daily commitment to self-care is immense. Like making the bed with love in appreciation of how sleep supports us to be well. This has become a ‘ritual’ of sorts for me and sleep has become a vital part of my wellbeing regimen. And then this commitment ripples into other areas of life, like cleaning the kitchen, keeping my desk space clear etc. Our environment dutifully reflects back to us how we are in our relationship with ourselves and others. It can be a wonderful support if we are living in support of ourselves and our wellbeing. Thanks Leonne, great sharing.
I used to tidy the house when people were coming round and one day I realised that this is not the way to be, that it puts unnecessary stress and a slight annoyance that I could easily pass on to the friend that was arriving. To tidy up and and put things away as I use them even thought it may take a little more effort at the time is worth it because the space when I walk into each room feels clear and does not have the feeling of disregard when things are left lying around..
I am appreciating the importance of cleaning up my mess -it could be the obvious things like dishes or clothes but what about the clutter on my computer. As you say Leonne mess/clutter can be in every aspect of out lives.
Absolutely – every detail matters and counts and has a flow on effect to us and to others.
Complication goes hand in hand with clutter. It could be said that no one chooses clutter but the truth is that we are always saying yes to something and if we live in clutter then we have been saying ‘yes’ to that. Physical movement is something that supports the body and goes exceptionally well with clearing clutter, so if you are looking for a ‘healing’ then cleaning out clutter with consistent and gentle movements is the way to go. It is as simple as that.
Thank you Leonne for such an honest sharing, it is huge subject to address. I love this sentence “I am beginning to see that there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place.” It applies to both the inner and outer world, a truth that has to be lived in order to be appreciated. There is an immense beauty to be claimed when we bring simplicity, order and clarity to our physical realm via our internal reality, a transparent honesty and joy that support us all.
Thanks for sharing Leonne reading your blog this morning I immediately was drawn to a ‘odds and ends’ draw in the Kitchen that is messy and need cleaning out thanks. This shows me that there are pockets of mess still to be cleared so that as a vehicle of expression I can express all that I am with clarity.
Thank you Leonne for this wonderful piece. What you bring here is a beautiful testimony to the fact that self-appreciation can be the key to great and profound change, but it all starts with the love for you from you.
Leonne, thank you for writing this article, this really stands out for me; ‘When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself’, this is a bit of an ouch for because my house is often messy and I do the tidying when a visitor is coming thing, which never feels great. I can feel how amazing the house and I feel when I have tidied for me and my family and not just for visitors and if I have not rushed but lovingly tidied and cleaned, I feel much more spacious and clear and able to work and cook and enjoy the house and being with me and my family.
How we live is always a great support. The problem is what is our true intent capping our evolution? or supporting it? How we live in one scenario or the other cannot be equivalent.
As a teenage my bedroom was a real mess. I often could not see the carpet because it was covered in clothes. I agree that how we keep our living space is a reflection of how we feel about life and the relationship we have with ourselves. These days I keep finding new ways to simplify my life and keep my home clutter free. Even my outdoor space, which I don’t often see from the house, has an impact on me.
“the more I throw out the things that do not support me, the more space there is to feel just how amazing I really am.” So true, whenever I have a session at clearing out another layer of ‘stuff’ that has accumulated around me I feel so much lighter and freer.
Most of my life I was just resigned to what I thought of as fact that I was a messy person and there wasn’t a lot I could do about it. My life was as messy as my room. The dumb thing was when I got started I actually enjoyed tidying up and getting things in order but it was just getting started that was a problem. My life, room and house still get a bit out of hand at times but there are no more sandwiches under the bed anymore.
I absolutely love that, ‘there is always something rotten to let go of and something wonderful waiting to take its place’ as it is so true.
There certainly is a direct correlation that can be felt between creating more space in our homes via cleaning up/organizing and that spaciousness and expansiveness we feel in our body after we have opened that space up around us.
Leonne, I absolutely love your blog. It is so honest, super gorgeous and inspiring. I can totally relate to everything you’ve shared. I have in the past year or so started to make my bed with more love and care because I have developed a more loving relationship with myself. Making my bed is now not a chore but something I look forward to every morning because it is a time to connect with myself and to how lovely it feels when my bed is made. Simple things does matter and the energy we do it in definitely matters too.
Amazing timing to have the inspiration this blog offers on the day I have felt to spend time looking at what is in my wardrobe – all the hanging onto ‘just in case’ garments.
PS I so get the making your bed thing. I have made mine almost every day of my life and it’s a sure fire pointer that I’m out of sorts if I don’t. Now to become more aware of other signs I’m leaving around the home to support me to become more aware of where I am with myself.
Faking it to keep up appearances never works because there is no foundation and purpose to support us deeper. But knowing why we wish to commit to being in order and how this affects us if we don’t, is a strong testimonial that needs no convincing when we feel and see the effects. Keeping our lives/rooms/beds in order is then done religiously because this is what we truly deserve–simplicity and order in our every day. Any day when the bed is not made is a day of potential conflict and unrest in our household, true story, and no, this would never be my choice, but if it has happened once and the consequences truly felt, it would never be repeated again.
A brilliant example of the practicality of this work that we do inspired by the teachings of Universal Medicine. Everything in life matters, there is nothing less or greater than something else, and everything has an impact on everything else.
And – it’s an amazing way to live.
The great thing about cleaning is that the the job is never done. This means there is nowhere we need to ‘get to’ the quality is always what truly matters.
So very true Leonne. There is always things to be done, this will never cease, therefore it comes back to the quality we are choosing, in our every move and how we are with ourselves.
So true Leonne, it is a continuous flow of clearing, discarding and cleaning. This is true for our body as well as our environment. Imagine if the various systems in our body decides to take a break from clearing, filtering, discarding waste from our body? We would get very sick and potentially die. You’ve inspired me to look at cleaning, caring and clearing our environment in a different light.
You are the space you live in. No one might ‘see it’ (your space) but we all feel it.
Well said and very true. We take everything with us and our homes are a reflection of the way we are feeling and living.
Superb post Leonne, love the parallels you draw between the physical cleaning of one’s space/room/home/bed, and how that can feel inside and even impact the body…to actual body cleaning through eliminating food stuffs etc. that densify and clutter. A de-cluttered ‘space’ or ‘area’ is exactly that; de-cluttered. And when’s there no clutter, instead there’s space to see, feel, read, hear and taste.
For a while I’ve seen this mess you describe Leonne, as only to do with physical things in my room. But today I am getting in a whole new way that when I say no to what needs to be done, in any sphere of my life, it creates disorder. It’s just a matter of time but sooner or later I’ll have to address this chaotic pile. Now imagine if I say ‘no’ 59 times a day! Wow, no wonder we feel overwhelmed by the end of 24 hours. Your words bring great understanding to the fact that when you finally choose to tackle the mess – it’s not a 1 day job but a steady step-by-step process to recover true harmony. Thanks for your help!
Ahhh, the relationship with mess and the battle between mess and order. If we look at the quality of how we do anything, create the mess or clean up the mess then we introduce a new level of responsibility in how we live and as Leonne has stated this can generally be tracked back to our relationship with ourselves. I just love how everything we do or don’t do is a reflection of something for us to learn more about ourselves.
“When I create mess and disorganisation, I know it is a reflection of the relationship I have with life and the relationship I have with myself. At times I have found myself heaping harsh judgement on others when I clock the mess they live in, and I’ve certainly harshly judged myself too.”How true this is, we are quick to see the mess in others lives and slow to clock it in our own,however if we are seeing it we are being reminded to see it.
The comparison you draw between our lives and our living spaces is extremely apt Leonne – we often talk about our ‘messy lives’ or say ‘my life is / was a mess’ or ‘I’m a mess’. It’s important to clean up our acts on all levels.
I had some real light bulb moments reading your blog Leonne, reading your blog … in particular the idea that we made a mess to avoid feeling our power, our grace and all that we do bring, this I recognise and reading today I can feel how in fact there is a way we can be with us and our environment which allows us to be clear, loving and aligned with our soul.
I like how you use the term ‘all over the place’ here, it shows exactly what it is.
Disorder vs order, mess vs neatness, patterns vs flow and harmony. I often look at my desk or my office and think wow what a mess as I have books and piles of notepads and notes I’ve scribbled to myself strewn around. However, when I stop and consider how does it feel over how does it appear I can feel that there is sense or order and purpose that supports a flow to how I work. Having everything out in the open keeps it in check that things need to be attended to and allows me to stay on purpose. yes there are times when this gets out of balance and a sort out is required but it can not come from what i think tidy should look like. In fact once a team member ‘tided’ my desk for me and it took a month to to get back on track and find where things were. For me Mess is when there is no care or purpose in the way things are attended to or placed and order is the feel, the quality of the alignment and the angles, interaction between things that support me and offer the space to do what is needed to be in harmony with my work space and my body.
“For me Mess is when there is no care or purpose in the way things are attended to or placed and order is the feel, the quality of the alignment and the angles, interaction between things that support me and offer the space to do what is needed to be in harmony with my work space and my body.” This is awesomely put. As even a tidy looking space can feel very messy or constricted. So it very much comes back to the quality and not the looks.
Love what you are offering here, Rachel. So true – with purpose, there is an order.
This comment has afforded me a very interesting perspective on ‘mess’ and it has offered a way of my seeing differently and being more aware of the requirements of others, especially most of the men who have been in my life as I could never understand why they did not really appreciate their areas, rooms, desks, work-sites etc. tidied up – this also included my boss from a zillion years ago, who worked on a construction site of a large Melbourne Hospital. I then had no appreciation for their specific need for a particular alignment of tools or piles of work sheets etc., and the precise angles that embraced a knowing of where to exactly put their hands on certain items or pieces of information in an instant. I see now there is a difference between ‘cleaning’ up and ‘tidying’ up what I may perceive to be a mess.
More and more I feel the disturbance of mess, and I no longer want to have the chaos of that in my life. Keeping things clean and spaces tidy has a profound affect on my wellbeing.
Being honest about our hidden messes does release a lot of tension and absolutely opens up space for something far lovelier and supportive. Done with tenderness, understanding, appreciation and love cleaning, tidying, sorting, letting go is actually delicious and a pleasure.
It’s amazing what we can learn about ourselves when we begin to look at our behaviours and patterns. By bringing consistency to one small part of our lives like making our bed or how we dress in the morning can help to re-imprint and old behaviour and begin a new foundation for self love is a beautiful thing we can bring to our lives and from one consistent movement we can then build another and so on and so forth. A very cool blog thank you Leonne.
Whenever I start to leave things on the bench or in my room that need to be put away, it lets me know, I’m not giving myself the space to be with me and do what is needed from the loveliness of my body, as when I do this, everything is a joy to do.