Anxiety: Why are you Ruling my Life?

I had an anxiety problem. Well, this is what I used to tell myself anyhow. In fact, I didn’t have an anxiety problem at all. I may have all the symptoms of anxiety – a raciness within my body – and yes, it can get to the place where it is a problem, but to say I have an anxiety problem does not quite go to the heart of the matter.

Let me explain.

I remember anxiety affecting me at age 4 as I waited for the school bus and it has been with me ever since. I remember sitting in class at school not being able to answer any questions because I felt anxious and fearful, so I learned to sit and listen and be very, very quiet. I had determined very early on that this was the best way not to get attention and to stay out of trouble. I may have been quiet, but I observed everything around me with an absolute astuteness.

Now let’s fast forward to my 40s. Anxiety had now become a major hindrance to my life. In fact, it was ruling my life, making it difficult to get through each day and preventing me from connecting more deeply with other people and having the relationships that I knew were possible. It was worse now than ever before because I had stopped living in a way that was hard and in protection. What this meant though was that I was more open to feeling everything around me, where people were at and where I was at, and this made me feel uncomfortable, like I could not cope.

Addressing anxiety could potentially change my life, and I was ready for it; prepared to explore what it was all about.

This was all triggered by a situation where I was verbally abused by someone for something very petty. I was shaken to the point where I went straight to my ‘give up’ place saying “this is all too hard.” Over the years I just couldn’t get the anxiety to stop, and this situation was the last straw, so I went for a quick fix and decided to give anxiety medication a go. There was a part of me that felt such relief with the medication because my body was more relaxed and my mind less agitated. In many ways I could say that I felt a little numb. Nevertheless, I knew that whilst the tablets were providing me with a level of desensitisation or relief from the world, it was not a resolution going to the root issue.

I did not rely on the medication alone, but continued with my commitment to understand and heal from the anxiety. I felt well supported by a team of wonderful practitioners that included my doctor, a psychologist and an Esoteric Chakra Puncture practitioner, and here I began the unfolding journey around healing this anxiety.

I stayed on the medication for six months while I worked on my ‘inner’ world. The medication was not a complete fix to the problem. It didn’t stop my reactions or the hurt in my body when I was abused by another or when I felt something hurtful. It didn’t stop the upset, and still I could push through and become racy if I wanted to avoid feeling.

When I was ready to come off the tablets that is what I did, even though I remember feeling apprehensive about whether or not I would be able to cope with life again. So I took it very slowly, supported by my doctor, feeling no rush to this process. By the time I was down to no medicine at all I was prepared as I ever would be to take the next step. It is a phase where many people typically return to the medication – in even higher doses – and the comments on the Internet sites were not very positive at all. With this in mind, over the next two weeks I allowed my body to go through the withdrawal phase from the medication and this felt quite uncomfortable, but further Chakra Puncture sessions and a commitment to being gentle on myself allowed the symptoms to pass very quickly.

To no surprise, I was met with all the same feelings and reactions that I had from before I started the medication, but now I felt more secure in myself to deal with whatever else was there to learn. Similar situations of conflict presented again, just like before, but this time I was able to handle what was before me. Something had shifted.

I discovered three things.

1. Anxiety as a Choice

One day when I was laying on the healing table in a Chakra Puncture session I became aware that I was free of the symptoms of anxiety. At the end of the session I would speak very differently to the practitioner, in a way that was more present and connected, no longer racy or agitated. When I left the clinic I felt steady and with no symptoms of anxiety at all! This was not my first Chakra Puncture treatment by any means, but the first one when I noticed that anxiety was not present.

This was quite amazing. It was like the session had showed me my future: a ‘me’ in the future that was sharper, more steady inside and knowing. For a while after the session I could live life from this ‘new me’ place, but soon it would dissipate and the anxiousness would return. But I now knew that in the stillness there was great awareness and knowing, and not an ounce of anxiety.

If there was no anxiety to be felt when I was on the healing table, then I had to be open to the fact that I might be choosing it. But why would I choose anxiety? Who in their right mind would choose anxiety?!?

Well, the symptoms of anxiety were begging me to connect to my body, like a child crying out for support, but instead I would unconsciously create a distraction to run away from the uncomfortable symptoms. Instead of connecting to my body and stepping out into the world with confidence, shining the true me, I would choose to become my fearful, unseen, small and contracted self – just like when I was 4 years old – because this is what I had relied on to get through life thus far. Asking me to be more than this, to be seen and self-assured, was certainly tempting and even achievable, but it brought with it great fear and trepidation.

There were a lot of things that I blamed for my anxiety. For instance, I thought I had a problem with trusting people, but I did not; I thought I had a problem handling life, but I did not; for a while I blamed it on childhood issues, but it wasn’t that at all; I thought it wasn’t ‘natural’ for someone like me to do public speaking, but really it was; I thought there was something really wrong with me, but there wasn’t. I was simply resisting connecting to the stillness and being my true self.

Why resist connecting to the stillness when it feels so amazing? This is answered simply. There is a power, an authority and a knowingness about life that is unshakable when we live from the stillness. I could have chosen this and been more responsible, but I had convinced myself that the disharmony in my life and around me in the world was bigger and more powerful than me and that I was too weak to hold steady. I realise now that I had to work very hard, even to the point of exhaustion, so that I didn’t have to feel what was being asked of me. Instead I would create a momentum of busy-ness that allowed me to enjoin with the buzzy energy around me: I could get caught up in the chaos that would dull my awareness and I could live in a way where I was burdened and could quite rightly say, “See, how can I step up in this kind of world?”

There are probably hundreds of tricks that I would find to distract myself away from the simple act of connecting with the stillness within. In many ways it could be said that I was so busy trying to address the chaos that all along, all that was needed was to connect deeply with the body and enjoy the simplicity that is there. If the world around me was crazy, then I just needed to let it be crazy. Nothing to be done, except to read it as it really is.

2. Discovering the Picture

I also needed to disarm myself of a picture that I had created of how I felt life here on Earth should be between people, and also my investment in making it ‘right’ or ‘better.’ Deep down I knew relationships to naturally be affectionate, deeply caring and where there was understanding for each other, but I struggled to accept all that was not loving between people. By not accepting what was not loving in the world, it meant that I set myself up to react to it when it presented. And it presented a lot!

Coming to an understanding and acceptance that life here on this planet is as it is – with its love and its lovelessness – still hurts from time to time, but the lack of love we experience here is part of life. Sure the lovelessness is not a true way to live, but it is the reality and to me it really does appear to be what planet Earth is all about. Abuse and violence at all levels has been here for thousands of years. It is not something new that has crept in… it has been here from day one.

I am still coming to terms with this aspect in full, and at times continue to find myself foolishly desiring it to be another way, but one thing I do know for sure – the tension in our bodies that we feel when we encounter something that is not loving is quite natural for us to feel as human beings. Our bodies amazingly read what is love and what is not and will clearly let us know what is before us at any given time. How we react to the hurt… well, that is another story altogether.

3. Something to Express

The next aspect for me to understand unveiled itself at a Universal Medicine workshop. What I understood from Serge Benhayon’s presentation is that anxiety is just the body’s natural way of telling us that we have something amazing or important to express. This struck a chord with me – like a lightbulb turning on. I had believed anxiety to be something wrong with me, like an illness, but with this statement I could feel that anxiety was a natural part of me – like a messenger.

Anxiety encourages us to express, and if we ignore those impulses it will become louder.

I didn’t have to wait long for a situation to present and show me this was true. Only hours later, and at this same event, Serge asked the audience to share about an activity that we had done. I have never been able to talk on the microphone at these sessions, or with any large audience in fact, but this time I had something specific to share. I felt the impulse to put my hand up and take the microphone. I wanted to do it but I physically could not raise my arm. I sat in the chair and observed my anxiety kick in and the longer I resisted expressing myself, holding myself back, the more intense the anxiety became until it reached a point that the anxiety had caused such a physical reaction that I was beside myself and could no longer speak. The moment was gone and I held back saying what I had to say.

After this situation I began to practise speaking up in everyday situations. It was harder with those things that I feared could potentially end in conflict, but as long as I stayed connected to myself as I spoke, the words were there and were more often than not received with their loving intention.

Practising this helped prepare me to speak at an Engineering Conference, to a large audience of over 210 people. In many ways I found it easier to talk at the conference than to express about those sensitive matters or things that made me vulnerable, and this was a surprise. On the evening of the Conference Dinner I felt the anxiety in my body begin to run about 2 hours before the event, but I did not allow myself to run with any silly story, I just told myself “You have something amazing to say. You may not know what that is just yet, but get up there, let go and enjoy being yourself.” And that is what I did. Within minutes the audience was laughing and I relaxed to the point where there was no anxiety at all. None. And it was fun!

Today I look at anxiety very differently to how I have in the past. It is no longer about ridding myself of the symptoms of anxiety or running away from what I may feel, but responding to it when I first notice its presence in my body so that it does not reach the heights that I have allowed it to go in the past. All along I believed there was something wrong with me as it has been so debilitating in my life, and here now I have been given the freedom to know that anxiety does not need to rule my life. It is more like a friend that pops in from time to time to remind me to express what is there and to let go and be myself without fear of repercussion. Anxiety may be there as my personal little champion to help me be all of me whenever I am taking another step, and that is something I can now deeply appreciate.

By Maree Savins, Australia

Related Reading:
Anxious Much?
Anxiety is not Something you Just Have to Put Up With – There is Another Way
Nervousness and Anxiety – A Scared Little Boy

681 thoughts on “Anxiety: Why are you Ruling my Life?

  1. Gosh expression is so important, it just seems to lay at the bottom of everything, causing every situation in life to be what it is and always with the potential for being more the more we express from our inner-hearts.

  2. Its wonderful Maree, how you expanded to embrace the challenge that appeared in front of you…And when we take that step we realise that we always have everything we need within us.

  3. I remember always withholding what I felt to say and allowing others to speak up in meetings. It was a pattern of behaviour that I used to hide myself. I am realising how healing it is to express and not hold back. It has changed my life and reduced a lot of the anxiety I used to feel.

  4. Its great to flip anxiety on its head and see it as our body’s way of signally that there is something to express, rather than there is something wrong with you.

    1. There is forever a deeper reading we can go to rather than immediately see a symptom and sign only as something ‘wrong’.

  5. “Anxiety encourages us to express, and if we ignore those impulses it will become louder.” and indeed it does! as the more we express not just with words but through the quality of our movements the more we have the opportunity to change ingrained patterns or default programs that are detrimental to our health and well-being.

  6. I like the responsibility you took in getting all the support you needed at the beginning from the medical approach and esoteric chakra puncture for the first six months whilst you were addressing your inner world, allowing you to take those first steps at looking at why the anxiety was there.

  7. When we feel like we aren’t equipped to deal with what is in front of us, anxiety presents. In order to let it go, it is to build up within us resources and a connection to who we truly are, this can support us to not go into anxiety, but have confidence in ourselves and choices.

  8. Wow, this is the most amazing take on anxiety I have read to date. We are so used to be being sold that our conditions are the problem and the only way to win the “battle” is to get rid of any symptoms. To actually appreciate the anxiety as a message and a blessing is extraordinary. Thank you for sharing your story, it is extremely inspiring.

  9. Having been one who has suffered anxiety my whole life and has seemingly got on top of it, it surprised me somewhat to hear, through the words of a very understanding esoteric practitioner that this anxiety was still in my body due to the fact that I was still getting nervous before I had to publicly present. To me this was just normal and compared to my everyday anxiety I was so riddled with since I was a child, much as you have described Maree, it seemed a fairly good trade off…but it was not completely healed in the sense that if this anxiety was surfacing prior to me presenting publicly, then where has it been hiding in my body for me to not notice I was still carrying this with me? This has really lifted the veil for me and helped me go way deeper in being able to bring a greater sense of settlement to my body.

    1. What you are sharing here Liane shows me that our bodies are as Serge Benhayon has described
      “The body is the marker of truth” And even though you may have felt you had got on top of the anxiety, your body was telling you otherwise and asking you to go deeper to heal and bring about a greater settlement. I feel that our bodies are quite remarkable in the way that they are constantly communicating with us we just have to listen.

      1. What I love about building a relationship with my body is that there is always more, and that the messages are constant. I recently had an experience where my body really shouted pretty loudly about what it needed in a situation, and when I listened and acted on that, instead of what I’d wanted to do (all the plans I’d made to do this and that), then the symptoms immediately cleared up. Our body really is an incredible truth-teller and communicator, that never gives up.

    2. You are so right, if there is ever anxiety then it is still in us and still hiding. This is not about perfection and never feeling anxious, I feel it is about reading the body, listening and then having an opportunity to address the communication. This is a gift to both us and to all others.

    3. Liane that is a really great point about how comparison works, we accept a lower form of discomfort because it’s so much better than the intense discomfort we once had. As you say the compromise is in the true settlement of the body, however for most people their marker is in the comparison spectrum and to just feel ‘better’. Our ‘normals’ now are not beautiful experiences like feeling settled, but aiming for lesser forms of discomfort, or settling for more intense discomfort but managing it by medicating ourselves with food, drinks, or activities that often harm us in the long run.

  10. I have been no stranger to anxiety myself, but was able to keep it in check with a few beers and the odd joint or two but having stopped those habits about ten years ago I have had to address what is really going on. This blog has been a great help and you are inspirational Maree in that you now get up and publicly speak, something that I still avoid like the plague.

  11. Love your honesty here Maree – “I could get caught up in the chaos that would dull my awareness and I could live in a way where I was burdened and could quite rightly say, “See, how can I step up in this kind of world?” – It’s great to uncover some of the excuses and justifications we use to avoid the simplicity of being and expressing who we truly are in life…

  12. It’s so liberating when we self discover that the flows and familiar patterns we recognized ourselves by in life don’t have to be carried out – anxiousness doesn’t have to rule us and someone letting go of anxiousness to embrace their awareness and sharp joy in life is equivalent to a drug addict learning to live with out their addiction.

  13. ‘I had an anxiety problem. Well, this is what I used to tell myself anyhow. In fact, I didn’t have an anxiety problem at all. I may have all the symptoms of anxiety’. This is such an important learning, we put things in place that deliver the illness we carry. Thank you Maree for sharing.

  14. It is very interesting when we start to be honest about how anxiety has ruled us… Just simply your reflection on childhood reminded me of the intensity of the anxiety that I felt… And this continued into my 20s, when I searched far and wide for something that would allay this feeling. Fast forward a few decades and I also echo that deep gratitude for being able to now feel something that is not a suppressant, like so many of the meditations that I used to do, but now to be able to feel that sense of deep trust and connection

  15. I have found this a very powerful blog to read. Your lack of expression is certainly not evident in writing this for all of us to see! You have broken the anxiety down in to bite sized pieces that has helped me see there is likely to be anxiety hiding in my day to day and an opportunity for me to address it on a deeper level. This is medicine in itself so many thanks.

  16. This is quite a new way to look at anxiety, with our choice to not be in Stillness being part of why we feel anxious. There is a lot here to ponder on and it might take a few reads!

  17. Maree, I can so relate to this; ‘I struggled to accept all that was not loving between people. By not accepting what was not loving in the world, it meant that I set myself up to react to it when it presented. And it presented a lot!’. I can feel that I react to what is not loving, this results in me feeling bitter, tired and helpless, instead observing what is happening around us feels key and not going into reaction.

  18. When we are connected deeply to our essence, we are one with God and it becomes clear that the entire Universe is with us all the way.

  19. Exquisite reading, Maree. I’ve enjoyed hugely with your blog, as it exposes wihth such love and clarity how anxiety may lead or trick our lives.
    ‘I would create a momentum of busy-ness that allowed me to enjoin with the buzzy energy around me’. I can relate to this choice of allowing the external to numb myself to not feel the great distance between what I feel and what I see. We are always aware as we are always reading everything around us, so we can’t avoid feeling and being ourselves for so long. We can fight against it for some time, but in the end our body takes us back to the truth.

  20. To have the experience of being deeply settled and not anxious in our body gives us a marker to know what is possible and perhaps be more aware of when we’re calling back in the anxiousness or nervous energy so that we can be more aware of the way that we run ourselves in life.

  21. Living in anxiety prevents true settlement and surrender in our body and the connection with all that we are and the magnificence we are from.

  22. So many aspects of our life today are about speed and taking the faster way. No matter what though it seems as if there are not enough hours in the day. We lurch from one cup of coffee to the next, looking it seems for any short cut that will help speed things up. The futility of this all starts to make more sense when we look at it through this anxiety lens. For as you show Maree it’s just like a drug we take to go faster so our feelings are numbed and we go harder. Anxiety is just a thing use to hide from the truth.

  23. Another great blog Maree, one I can certainly relate to . . . although I never took medicinal medication I did my fair share of self medication. I can honestly state that my anxiety came from being too much in my head and not even remotely enough in my body. This I have turned around thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for at one stage of my life I found it extremely difficult to even leave the house!

  24. ‘It is no longer about ridding myself of the symptoms of anxiety or running away from what I may feel, but responding to it when I first notice its presence in my body so that it does not reach the heights that I have allowed it to go in the past.’ I still find myself getting anxious over things and I recognise that tendency to distract myself and not deal with the situation that appears to be bringing on this disruptive feeling. I know choosing to be on the front foot, so to speak, is vital and to honour myself in the process. In order to do this it helps to have this be the way with everything…..not rushing in where angels fear to tread but centred in myself, aware of the whole picture and dealing with things as they present themselves, taking each step one at a time and not dancing to someone else’s tune.

  25. Thank you Maree, a super helpful article on anxiety and what underpins it. l’m sure most can relate at times, I know I certainly can and agree, it is always present if I step back from expressing what’s needed in a situation. Once I hold that back, the anxiousness is palpable and remains for some time. l’ve also noticed that I don’t sleep well that night either, it’s much harder to get to sleep and sometimes takes a few hours to dissipate enough to fall asleep.

  26. Well, the symptoms of anxiety were begging me to connect to my body, like a child crying out for support, but instead I would unconsciously create a distraction to run away from the uncomfortable symptoms.

  27. Opening oneself up to feeling what is actually going on in life warts an’ all has been a challenge for me. As I have preferred to hide away and not get involved and therefore not feel where we are at as a society. Actually turning to face the world face on is not quite so scary as I have made it out to be as underneath all the dross there is still much beauty in the world to be celebrated.

  28. What’s super for anxiety is what you share here Maree about choice, pictures, expression and in addition to all this this I found is just learning to physically slow down in my movements as well.. and thats what’s great for this is Esoteric Yoga, or The Yoga of Stillness. Through paying attention to gentle body movement I learned to be gentle and not so harsh on myself or critical which had led to self-anguish and lack of confidence. With those things no longer packed inside, there’s more space.. and when there’s space there’s the visibility to see, feel and express more truly.

  29. What a wonderful example you have provided for not just settling for the eradication of symptoms offered by medication. Whilst this is a very welcome and supportive first step, such experiences are not random. There is always a far bigger picture to explore and work through, which offers us an opportunity to expand and deepen our awareness, responsibility and empowerment in life.

  30. Only today I was reviewing my levels of anxiety and how they have dropped significantly, as there was a time when I would be shaking in my boots if I had to speak in public, but now I do not lose any sleep over getting up in front of people.

  31. This is a great blog as Anxiety is now so common. It is very empowering to develop an understanding of what behaviours triggers our anxiety, what settle it and what escalate it. There is so much for us to learn from our bodies. Making choices that honour our bodies guarantee a life with joy.

  32. I so like how you describe anxiety as a messenger Maree. We so often try to avoid or cover up what we are feeling, and it just buries everything deeper in our bodies.

  33. When we can accept that things are as they are and are not as we may wish them to be, then we are far better equipped to deal with what lays in front of us. It is our lack of acceptance that creates anxiety and spurs us into the activity of constantly having to control our environment.

    1. Yes, an environment we simply cannot control. We are equipped to deal with so much more than we know or feel because we do not make a practice of accepting what is before us.

  34. I feel that what you have said here Maree is important
    “I knew that whilst the tablets were providing me with a level of desensitisation or relief from the world, it was not a resolution going to the root issue.”
    Admitting that there is a problem I feel is a big step forward so that it can be picked apart which gets to the heart of the matter so that actual healing can take place. When the healing takes place it is such a release for our bodies as they become much lighter and freer.

  35. A testimony to the fact that medication for anxiety gives a very welcome relief and break from the intensity of the symptoms but in and by itself does not change the underlying problem; it is the connection to the body, honesty and the willingness to dig deeper and truly heal that make all the difference.

  36. “Nothing to be done, except to read it as it really is.” I Love the ease and simplicity of this quote.

    I found this blog on anxiety to be one of the most supportive I have read to date.

    Beautiful, simple, inspiring.

    Thank you for your wisdom….

  37. The greatest thing I’ve understood about anxiousness is working on feeling solid and connected within myself through understanding who i truly am that’s helped give a level of clarity about what’s coming up or ahead of me.. so i feel ‘prepared by connection’ and strong enough to deal with whatever it is. Solidness of ourselves helps us to read ahead so there are no surprises; it is already felt-known and therefore anxiety has no place.

  38. Anxiety has been a big part of my life too. But until recent years I didn’t connect to my body in a way that built foundation, solidness and an inner knowing that develops self-confidence. With the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have come to understand so much more about the body, energy and choices and how anxiety doesn’t need to be a part of life.

  39. I absolutely love your honesty in this blog Maree, what particularly struck a cord with me was, “I was simply resisting connecting to the stillness and being my true self.
    Why resist connecting to the stillness when it feels so amazing? This is answered simply. There is a power, an authority and a knowingness about life that is unshakable when we live from the stillness.” We avoid our power at all costs until it costs us our health. Your wise words are truly inspiring.

  40. Maree, I love this article, there is so much wisdom here, I can very much relate to what you are sharing here; ‘Instead of connecting to my body and stepping out into the world with confidence, shining the true me, I would choose to become my fearful, unseen, small and contracted self’, it is very empowering reading that being anxious and contracted is a choice and so we can choose to connect to our bodies and be confident and full of ourselves, very inspiring, thank you.

  41. I was interested in the comments on the internet that suggested that success with stopping anxiety medications was not likely and some go back to even higher doses. This is where consulting Dr. Google can be harmful, especially for people who are anxious! Starting out with this fear may very well attract it. The comments also show that most people do not heal the inner world and find themselves just as anxious when they try to stop medications. It is this self-healing that is essential.

  42. Beautifully put, Maree: ‘If the world around me was crazy, then I just needed to let it be crazy. Nothing to be done, except to read it as it really is.’
    To read what is going on and accept that instead of judging, controlling, wanting it to be different creates space for the body to be with itself and from there offer a different reflection.

  43. Wow wow and wow Love this, and oh how I can so relate, this is perfect for me to read this morning as I can feel an anxiety in my body from a situation in work that I need to deal with, reading your blog has reminded me of the power of expression. Super thank you Maree

  44. ‘the tension in our bodies that we feel when we encounter something that is not loving is quite natural for us to feel as human beings.’
    Accepting this as a fact, as a signal that there is something to look at and not as something that is ‘wrong’ creates space to let go of an old pattern of reacting.

  45. It’s about knowing that you are never alone, that you can handle all situations given to you, and that you are powerful just as the person you are. These are what dissolve anxiety because the truth is far greater than any moment of doubt and, when the truth is known – there can be no doubt as to how beautiful you are.

  46. ‘It is more like a friend that pops in from time to time to remind me to express what is there and to let go and be myself without fear of repercussion. Anxiety may be there as my personal little champion to help me be all of me whenever I am taking another step, and that is something I can now deeply appreciate.’
    I have something similar with my right upper arm and shoulder: it reminds me to let people in and not to protect otherwise it gets very very painful.

  47. It is so amazing to know that anxiety doesn’t need to rule our lives, I have been fine with most things in my life but for some reason public speaking still terrifies me, so it is time I got to the bottom of this problem that doesn’t exist and your blog is of great assistance Maree.

  48. Yes anxiety is not something that just ‘happens’ and we can sometimes assume, as an honest review of our choices will reveal…

  49. “If the world around me was crazy, then I just needed to let it be crazy.” How hard is that to do?! Yet considering we are talking about so much we have no control over how smart is what you have just shared? What is very true is when you don’t get worked up about the craziness around you, I have noticed that it starts to calm down and be more sporadic than constant.

  50. I have been practicing clocking where there is something to express when I feel anxiety. I have noticed that although when I express verbally it may be a bit clumsy or clunky, I definitely feel that I have at least honoured the message from my body and then my body feels it can communicate more frequently. Like learning to walk – it takes space and humour!

  51. I have experienced both situations where I have felt to express something and felt like my chest was going to explode from the anxiety and then just can’t express, to being able to say exactly how I felt in a moment in my rawness and felt totally supported by the person and myself. The first time I just kept letting in more and more judgements until I basically judged myself out of saying what was there. With the second experience, it felt so natural to do it in that way, even though the first reaction that prompted me to just share, was from a huge discomfort. In staying with myself in the discomfort, allowed me to be open and true.

  52. “Anxiety encourages us to express, and if we ignore those impulses it will become louder.” I remember how riddled with anxiety I was particularly during my high school years and my twenties. One thing I remember in those moments when I was anxious is that I held back how I felt which later resulted in other illness and or things to come up too. Allowing ourselves to express how we feel gives us the opportunity to be honest and open which holds us in support. Not only does this movement then support us but it also offers us a moment to be transparent and to build on that movement which can help alleviate our anxiety but also create a greater awareness for our bodies and how we feel, making it a great foundation for growth too.

  53. Living from our power and knowingness can be challenging when we have avoided this, coming back to our stillness and connection is a great start, ‘I was simply resisting connecting to the stillness and being my true self.’

  54. It is very freeing when we understand that we do not need to choose to go into emotional reaction that leaves us at the mercy of situations and people around us but respond to life by coming back to the inner wisdom within our body and allowing it to lead the way.

  55. Anxiety was debilitating for me too, I felt there was no way out and I remember so very clearly the first session I had with Sara Williams, it was also a chakra puncture session and I left her clinic feeling connected to stillness. I could not believe how amazing my body felt after such a short time. Now this is how I have started to live, from a place of stillness that is forever deepening. Anxiety no longer owns me, if it comes up I know I can say no to it and by committing to connecting to my body the wave of anxiety disappears.

  56. I had not clocked that by making myself racy I was creating anxiety in my body but of course if we are reliant on stimulatants like coffee to get us through the day it is inevitable that we are going to feel anxious.

  57. Awesome blog Maree unravelling the truth around anxiety and showing us how we can tame it by allowing, accepting and finally appreciating, very beautiful.

  58. I enjoyed feeling the acceptance in your blog Maree. I have also used many notions of myself – not good enough being one- to not be in my stillness, always creating an issue around not being good enough instead. ‘There is a power, an authority and a knowingness about life that is unshakable when we live from the stillness.’ When I connect to my stillness, there is so much understanding and acceptance of life, there is no tension, just knowing and acceptance of myself and life. Feeling both the love and the lack of it is what we are here to experience and understand. I can definitley afford to accept this more.

  59. Maree you have come to a great understanding with anxiety, how it plays out, and the consequences it has on our lives. I could relate to everything you said, all the reason you went into as to why you might be anxious. I had never heard that anxiety is the tension of having something amazing to say but not expressing it… and as you say ‘Anxiety encourages us to express, and if we ignore those impulses it will become louder.’….this makes sense, there are many times when I have felt to put my hand up at a presentation and the anxiousness start to play out and I then withdraw not sure I will still be able to express….crazy really but I know this comes from wanting things to be right snd say the right thing

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