Self-Doubt: It’s not a Little Problem

Recently I have come to see just how insidious self-doubt is and how it plays out. I once viewed self-doubt as something that was just there, that I accepted as a normal part of being a human being and that it was something that I couldn’t change.

I know there have been times in my life when I would feel the Truth of a matter ever so strongly. I knew exactly what had happened, what had played out and why – but I would not hold it. Instead I would hang on to something that was said about me, and it was this aspect that would have my full attention. From here I would be pulled into the black hole of confusion and doubt, swept to a place far away. I would so easily let go of the Truth that I had felt and would make things complicated, defer to another’s opinion or the majority view, become confused or upset, or even want others to feel it as I did, although they did not.

At times I found myself standing alone, where the Truth that I felt wasn’t confirmed by those around me and it was this aspect for a long time that I found most difficult. 

In the past few months I have been provided with many opportunities to feel the game of self-doubt in its true colours. These opportunities have been quite amazing in fact, but it was a situation between a group of people that provided me with the opportunity to observe and to understand in greater depth just how destructive self-doubt is in our lives. That was the light bulb moment that inspired me to give up the self-doubt game.

I was reading through a Facebook thread and noticed that initially some of the comments were very sure and certain – concrete in fact. Another person came in and planted ‘the seed of doubt’ – a person who is very much respected. As I read through the thread, I began to see how those who had commented initially became more and more wobbly and then other people commented in doubt as well. I was surprised at how easy it was for people to lose their confidence, their authority, their assurance in what they had initially felt. How easy it is for Truth to be buried when it comes to the surface, although it is never hidden for long.

Although for a lot of my life I have been a bit wishy-washy, never sure about myself, and searching for right and wrong instead of what is true, what I have come to know is that when I do feel Truth, I feel it in my body with an assurance and an unshakable knowing. 

Although there is often an opposing energy that comes into play at these times – to tip us over, to make things complicated and to bring in doubt – we must learn to back ourselves all the way and be mindful of our own false beliefs that are always at play.

One of the things that really stood in my way at such times is that I did not want to be irresponsible. I knew that I held hurts, and that at times those hurts tainted my view of things and so I quickly let go of my Truth. I did not want to be arrogant and hold on to what I felt was a Truth, just in case I was completely off track and was fooling myself. For instance, a situation that presented numerous times was where someone would verbally berate me, using particular words in their accusations. If they said I was controlling, for example, then I would bury what I felt was really happening in that moment and go into self-doubt.

It played on my knowing that in the past (or in my life) there were times when I was controlling in my behaviour and this was the very thing that would unravel me, as I began to unreasonably question and interrogate myself about whether I was being controlling again and not open enough to see it. My focus left the initial feeling or reading of the Truth and became all about me. It’s a tricky and underhanded technique, but on me it worked every time.

What I came to learn though is that Truth is a very solid aspect felt within ourselves – a place where there is no emotion, not an ounce. We must hold it firmly and if there is more to feel, life will simply present that to us and all we will need to do is be open for the ‘more’. This allowed me to honour my Truth, but allow expansion and greater understanding of any part of the situation that needed to be learned, should it be offered. In other words, if we don’t learn something in full the first time, there is always another loving opportunity offered, to have another go. This is the blessing!

If we don’t know who we are, if we don’t know that we are Love, then we are easily played with. If we feel we are not worthy, not gorgeous, not enough, not beautiful, not intelligent, not knowing, not graceful, not sexy – or if we simply do not appreciate all that we know ourselves to be – then we provide an opening for the game of self-doubt to play with us, enhancing the doubt in ourselves that already exists.

Honouring the Truth that we feel is not to be arrogant nor fight another with vengeance. It is about being open to hear what another has to say, to be honest about our own reactions, to consider and feel for its Truth in our body, and to be open to learn and understand what the situation offers us in our evolution. We must register the energy that is felt behind all that comes through us and to us. Whilst people can be very influential, charming in fact, and argue a good case, it is the energy in our body that is the marker of Truth.

Self-doubt flows out to affect not only ourselves, but others around us, people who have the tendency to play with self-doubt too. From this, I can see the level of responsibility that is offered. Self-doubt is not a silly little thing that we do and cannot stop – it’s a choice.

From here it is clear that staying steady in the tension, connected to ourselves, and backing what we feel all the way, has never been more important. Self-doubt is not a harmless little thing that we do – it has consequences; it opens the door to thoughts that are dripped in ever so quietly, only to spread through us and out to others too.

Self-doubt is not a little problem: it’s a big problem, and has big ramifications. Self-doubt is rife when we live a life from right and wrong, instead of what is true. It holds us back from expressing who we are, from voicing what we feel and from acting as is needed. A tiny seed of doubt can easily become a forest so thick that we cannot find our way, and that was once the nature of self-doubt for me.

By Maree Savins, Education Outreach Coordinator – Tertiary Education, Australia

Related Reading:
No Doubt
Self-Doubt, Ostriches and Clairsentience
The Importance of Expressing Truth

405 thoughts on “Self-Doubt: It’s not a Little Problem

  1. ‘Instead I would hang on to something that was said about me, and it was this aspect that would have my full attention.’ I don’t think there is one of us on earth that has not experienced that Maree. The presentations given by Serge Benhayon about honesty, openness and expression have hugely helped me with this one. I was recently told something that someone (person A) had said about me which was detrimental about my contribution to someone’s (person B’s) learning. So I said to person B ‘How would you be if I got together with person A and we work out a joint plan to help you?’ And she said ‘yes’. In the course of this I asked Person A what they had said and it was quite different from what had first been reported to me. We ended up with a great relationship, simply from expressing and asking, (without pre-judgment) and then moving on to what was needed to be discussed about the plan. There is no point to holding onto lies, or going into doubt about yourself or others.

    1. Thank you Lyndy, I enjoyed reading your comment and it’s helped me realise that I can choose to have a relationship to the truth of who I am and another is, instead of letting in the wobbles that doubt brings.

  2. Isn’t it self-doubt that allows our world to be as it is? Because we choose to doubt ourselves when we feel something is very accepted as normal is not true to us. In fear of standing out and getting reactions we choose the seemingly easier path of self-doubt yet it is not as innocent as it seems, because it is the thing that keeps lies and suffering at the same time going.

    1. That’s very true Lieke, how often do we feel a true impulse to care for ourselves in some way and then second guess ourselves and let doubt change our decision?

  3. It is great to expose self-doubt for what it actually does – how it in fact separates us from each other and makes us so much less than who we are. The antidote to self-doubt is something I’m still learning, but I have certainly felt how it is something that can only come from within me, from me backing myself to the core. In the solidness that I know I am, I cannot have doubt. I simply observe. So it’s about deepening that connection to that inner solidness so that this becomes the automatic default as it were, and not the choice to go into self-doubt and self-annihilating thoughts.

  4. When we get respect and decency towards our-self our journey starts as the self-doubt drops away. Then as our honesty builds we learn that we have a true responsibility to appreciate all we do. These are the stepping-stones on the way to absolute honesty, which will eventually deliver us the truth that we are all equally the Son of God without any doubts!

  5. Letting go of truth so easily really struck a chord in me, allowing doubt to run amock which when we think about us being a reflection to others. What do they get to feel instead of truth they get doubt and heady nonsense!

    1. I reckon the worst doubt is about our being and true selves, as we can constantly feel we are much less than who we actually are.

  6. Love this the more we know our selves to be love in our body the more easily we can stand in what we feel to be true.

  7. ‘what I have come to know is that when I do feel Truth, I feel it in my body with an assurance and an unshakable knowing.’ This is the marker that we can continuously clock, confirm and appreciate until it becomes our every day.

  8. How true it is that we need to love ourselves to the bone and then, there is no way in the world that self-doubt can enter let alone take hold.

  9. “Self-doubt is rife when we live a life from right and wrong, instead of what is true.” How true it is that right and wrong is the door to doubt.

  10. Interesting that one of the thoughts that came up for you was: “I did not want to be irresponsible”. I know that one so well. In fact I seem to come up with many really good sounding ‘conditions’ that hijack my focus to simply express love. Each time the floodgates to self-doubt open because I have simply chosen to focus on an ideal over the truth presented in the moment.

  11. Building a foundation within you of who you are, and who you know yourself to be eliminates self-doubt. That is one of the many gifts of the work offered to humanity by Serge Benhayon.

  12. Self-doubt is like a crack in the pavement that widens and deepens, the more traffic it gets.
    If we build a solid foundation of knowing us in the first place, our concrete will be impenetrable..

  13. Maree, self doubt has affected me hugely for a lot of my life until recently, articles such as this are really supportive and make me realise that it is important to read the energy from another and not always assume that what they are saying is true and what I feel is false, so reading the energy and trusting what I feel as-well as appreciating myself feel key.

  14. Coming back to my centre and reconnecting, sometimes closing my eyes and focussing and dropping deep into my body is the only way i can keep self doubt at bay. If I am in self doubt I am undoubtedly in my head and have let the access to true awareness go.

  15. Dealing with our hurts is so important and being prepared to be honest about how we are really feeling, for otherwise so much ‘stuff’ gets in the way and sabotages our true expression.

    1. Here here Brendan – with self honesty and reflection we can continue to develop a relationship with our true un-tainted selves and not be identified as who we think we are through our hurts.

    2. Awesome wisdom here Rachael, “to develop a relationship with our true un-tainted selves and not be identified as who we think we are through our hurts.”

  16. Discovering that self-doubt is actually a falsity came as such a revelation when I first heard it. Plagued my whole life by it, and aware how debilitating it had been in justifying holding back in so many ways, it was quite liberating in fact to give it no further air-space beyond the nomination of it’s presence whenever I found it at play. Thanks to work presented by Serge Benhayon, this no longer has the sway it once had. Instead I look immediately at where it is I had chosen to step back from being all of myself in a given situation, as it is always in that moment the self-doubting thoughts would begin.

    1. Thanks Jennifer, I liked the term “to give it no further air space” and that you had noticed self doubt comes in after you step back from being all of yourself.

  17. I find when we live from right and wrong we are boxing ourselves in and stopping the natural flow of movements that can then enable us to not only deepen our understanding of a particular situation or behaviour but also halt our evolution. Self doubt can knock us around and tip us off track but it is our presence and connection to self that can brings us back on track and evolve our movements thereafter.

  18. Backing ourselves is important – in the sense of accepting what we feel by just feeling what we feel and not doubting it… there is then no wrong or right because it is about having a relationship with yourself and how can that be wrong on any level…?

    1. Yes Rachel the idea of backing myself is relatively new to me. From a place where I am now valuing myself and feeling that I matter, I like that I now can back myself, even when faced with opposing views.

  19. I find there are many layers to self-doubt, for you can be in the thick of it or it can be something that comes up momentarily and goes away, it is all the same as it delays our own evolution and those of others.

  20. ‘If we don’t know who we are, if we don’t know that we are Love, then we are easily played with.’ – and herein is the responsibility each of us have: to come to know ourselves, and to always be willing to deepen this most precious relationship so that there is an absoluteness in that knowing of who we are. When we take steps towards this, we take these steps for all.

  21. It seems important to know the difference when words are spoken with a desire to cause doubt, or when they are given to you as a confirmation of all that you know. And it is important also to know that no matter in what manner any word is spoken, we always have a choice in how we respond.

    1. Shami this is so true, assessing the quality of energy and intention of the person speaking is vital, as is claiming our ability to know the truth and be willing to stand alone if needed. We do in fact know when someone is not speaking with love and clarity.

  22. ‘A tiny seed of doubt can easily become a forest so thick that we cannot find our way, and that was once the nature of self-doubt for me.’ True Maree, if I let in one thought containing doubt it is spreading through every thought as I don’t choose, claim the quality of my thoughts and this is poisoning every single thought and has the same effect on my body.

  23. Searching for right and wrong instead of what is true, what I have come to know is that when I do feel Truth, I feel it in my body with an assurance and an unshakable knowing. I can relate to both of these sentences Maree, as right and wrong became my way of life until I was shaken from this false sense of how to be in the world and started to feel truth in my body, and then couldn’t deny the difference, as it was absolute.

  24. It’s far better to be sure of yourself and make a few mistakes than to self doubt and constantly be riddled with the tension of getting it wrong or worried about what others think. Within this there is of course discernment but ultimately we learn through our actions and our feelings then become clearer. Trusting in what we know and who we are, is a very powerful thing. If we know our bodies are loving and lovely then doubt becomes obsolete.

  25. Its true when we allow that gap of not being full within ourselves then it allows for something else to come in. Self doubt is an easy one, its time consuming like you describe and takes you into a worm hole so that you don’t focus on what’s needed.

  26. This is everything here.

    “Honouring the Truth that we feel is not to be arrogant nor fight another with vengeance. It is about being open to hear what another has to say, to be honest about our own reactions, to consider and feel for its Truth in our body, and to be open to learn and understand what the situation offers us in our evolution. We must register the energy that is felt behind all that comes through us and to us. Whilst people can be very influential, charming in fact, and argue a good case, it is the energy in our body that is the marker of Truth.”

    Can you imagine how many work place politics could dissolve if the above was applied to the work place?

    1. Hello Fiona, thank you for your comment, it’s absolutely true “It’s amazing the complications and dramas we can create for ourselves when we actually know the truth.” How steady and still we could be if we stayed with the truth.

  27. Maree I am loving your blogs, here is another complete gem. What you share is so timely – time to give up the self doubt for good.

  28. Self doubt is not good, I have found that if you give self doubt in inch, it will take a mile. This isn’t good for anyone and usually over complicates an issue, so agree, it is time to give up self doubt for good.

  29. Doubt is no doubt the played with button that we can so easily fall for when we choose to ‘think’ rather than feel what is going on for us.

  30. Having many experiences now of truth and many of self-doubt I am starting to appreciate truth far more. It has a stilling affect through the whole body whereas self-doubt makes my head spin and body harden!

  31. If I recognise that I’m in self-doubt it helps me to focus on doing something physical, and the way that I’m moving whilst I’m doing it, and then to come back to what I was doubting and re-assess it in a fresh energy.

  32. I only feel doubtful when I try and assess things from my head. When I let go of that and bring things back to my body, I am able to get clarity and feel sure again.

  33. I have been caught in the right and wrong belief system for lifetimes. Hiding behind the vail of wishy washy self doubt, it is a choice and it is a comfort. It might feel like a struggle but in this struggle you can coast and refuse to move through things, after all “you don’t know” or “your not sure” all the classic BS self doubt lines that we spew out in order to avoiding reading life to the depth we know we are capable of.

  34. Waiting for others to confirm us in what we feel will always end in tears. If we weigh so much on that confirmation from others to makes us feel a sense of worth then we would also be at the whim of criticism and judgement. In other words, it goes both ways when we make it about outer validation over the inner.

    1. It doesn’t make sense does it when our body and being is equal to anothers. The confirmation is already there in ourselves.

  35. When we get hurt by something or someone, we often do not want to feel the hurt, and so we bury it deeply within and in order to not feel it any more we must harden or react in some way. Sadly though this does not allow for the healing on offer. Our learning in this is simply to be honest with how it hurts, and allow it to be seen and give ourselves permission to be vulnerable…in this the hurt would remain at the surface and be expressed rather than burried. There is a simple healing in just understanding this alone.

  36. It’s a great term, “to back ourselves”, as this is exactly what’s needed when we feel doubt trying to edge its way in. When we feel the absoluteness of truth that’s our next move, to back ourselves and stay solid in it via the quality we feel in our body. Thanks Maree.

  37. Choosing to look at the basics of who we are and what we come from is a supportive tool when doubt sets in. Knowing we are love and choosing to be just love gives no space for the doubt to mask life when lived with a marker of love in all its movements.

  38. There’s nothing in this world that is less than anything else, yet we have passionately and determinedly manufactured scales where we try to measure ourselves. We think that winning a gold medal or getting an award is everything we dream to do, but from what you share here Maree I can feel it all flows from letting self-doubt in our lives. When you remove this from the picture you get to see the truth: we are all already everything and more than enough.

  39. When we at first feel the truth within our bodies it is our movements that then provide the true outcome or path we take. Backing our initial feeling with a movement that reflects this truth will be great clarity to our lives and also offer us a greater awareness to this knowing and how to back ourselves thereafter.

  40. When I look back on my life I can see how I have let self-doubt hold me back in so many ways and in so many things and I suppose this has been because I have compared myself to others instead of just getting on with it myself.

  41. Put a room full of people together who don’t have self doubt, and moreover are also able to respect, appreciate and learn from one another, and you have the potential for some very special projects to take place.

  42. Thank you for reminding me that self doubt isn’t something we can dismiss or worse – wear as a badge of honour. I am left with no doubt that self doubt is a choice to be irresponsible.

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