What exactly do we mean when we say someone has low self-worth? Do we mean that they do not value themselves and their place in the world? That they place others as more important or worthy? And if we agree that this is so, does that imply that they do not feel they matter, or does it mean that there is something to fix, and once fixed, then the worth can kick in and the rewards that life can offer will be attained, or at least come within reach?
That has certainly been so in my case, and I can still have spells when all of a sudden my sense of worth plummets. I have a week when life is getting on top of me and I’m surrounded by reflections showing that I’m not up to scratch – the house has suddenly become messy, the sink clogged with unwashed dishes for a few days on end. Work feels tedious, people annoy me, or I feel like I’m not bringing as much value to my job as I could. I take less care with my grooming, I feel fat and like a frump, or I feel old and past it… the list can go on and on and the reasoning behind the self-critical talk can be ridiculous… just an excuse to bring myself down a peg, and then give-up and take solace in checking out by watching TV or overeating, or surfing the net and countless other distractions.
So where does this attitude of self-critique and sense of unworthiness come from? Are we born with it? Have we ever looked at a baby and thought, “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” I certainly have not. A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms, and doesn’t seem to ask “Am I worth it?” They innately know that it is not even a question that needs to be considered.
Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? And that all learned behaviour serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive? As children we develop our awareness of the external world and learn what is acceptable to others and what is not. We learn the social norms and standards of our specific culture from the outside in and are rewarded for some achievements and behaviours and punished for others.
At the same time, the trust in our inner voice and promptings fades. Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world. Most of us get caught up in this miasma to some degree. No parent is perfect and able to always understand what the child needs. Let’s be frank, as parents we muck up. We’re not always attentive and in-tune with ourselves, let alone with a child, and if there are siblings or a demanding partner involved, it can easily go off the rails at times.
As children grow and learn to negotiate life with others, we see different behaviours – no two children in the same family will respond in the same way to the same circumstances. One child may be naturally confident whilst their sibling nurses hurts (perceived or real) for a long time. They may try different ways of getting love and attention and feeling good about themselves in ways specific to them.
I remember at one time, when I was about nine or ten, deciding that I was going to change my attitude and become ‘acceptable.’ How I got to the point of feeling I was not good enough is another story, but suffice to say it was a combination of how I was in the family, the reactions and messages I received, and what I did with that information. At one time I chose to be super ‘good’ and ‘helpful’ because I’d taken on the beliefs that I was self-centred, unattractive, a bit nasty and in many ways, simply not good enough.
Growing up in the fifties I read a lot of books and watched movies where most of the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked. So, looking for redemption, I attempted to re-shape myself in their image. I dutifully devoted myself to household tasks that I did not enjoy to get positive attention, and focussed on being helpful, a ‘good girl,’ loving sister, grateful, appreciative, uncomplaining etc.
It makes me cringe to write this down. Of course, it was a short-lived week or so of reshaping myself in that particular way. Although I was loving and caring by nature, I was trying to shape myself to an ideal, a goal external to me, to achieve a sense of inner settlement and worth in the eyes of others and, quite frankly, it was unsustainable and not coming from any inner feeling that flowed naturally. It was forced and against my rebellious grain.
But to be honest, the same pattern has played out in many different guises throughout my long life. As an adolescent trying to be attractive to boys in crazy stuff, like not farting in their presence, dieting to get as close as possible to the body image and shape presented at the time, being unobtrusive, interested, patient, undemanding… anything but real. Is it any wonder that being the real me felt like an unknown exotic foreign land, and life was extremely unsettling? I didn’t know what I needed to do to be acceptable, I just knew it had to be different.
The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it. I look after myself. I make sure that I have enough sleep, that I have clean clothes that feel great to wear in my wardrobe, that my shoes are comfortable, that there is a selection of food in the pantry and fridge to sustain me, and I enjoy my work and my relationships with friends, colleagues, family and the general public. I do not hold back.
However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed. Do I back myself up or am I so timid that at the first hint of criticism I withdraw back into my shell? It takes courage to step out of comfort and risk expanding into a larger version of ourselves. Like a snake we must shed the skin that constricts and constrains our growth. Or a tadpole that must change form to evolve, or a caterpillar that builds a cocoon to midwife its emergence as the butterfly. We are constantly called to more.
There is also a deeper level of self-worth to be considered. We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential. As humans we are not constrained by the limitations of species specific instincts, but hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul that, in one form or another, forever beckons us to ask questions, to seek justice for all, equality, brotherhood.
The other night I stepped outside to drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament,’ the Milky Way constellation that we are blessed with in the Southern Hemisphere night sky. I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty, constancy, ancient timelessness, expansion and home that the night sky brings.
As I lay down to sleep, I literally had stars in my eyes and felt connected to the glory of the universe that we are all part of, because as science has presented, we are made of the same particles. We literally are all equal on the basic physical level. The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine. Sailors set course by the stars; ancient structures, such as the pyramids, measure the movements of the heavens, and the stars are a constant reminder that we are, in essence, forever part of the infinite, expanding and eternal grandness that is our universe. To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.
We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way. People like Natalie Benhayon, whose love for humanity is so great that she simply and playfully shines a light on The Way, works tirelessly but joyfully to inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire, their true worth and to shine forth too.
By Anne Hart, BSocSc, Goonellabah
Related Reading:
I Am Amazing just for Being Me
Self-Esteem is No Longer an Issue – Appreciating, Celebrating and Loving My Body
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Thanks Anne, it is a really solid sharing on self-worth, and that we don’t start out with low-worth, in fact we are completely OK with communicating moment to moment exactly what our needs are as babies. I find as a woman I can go into behaviour with others that is about doing for them, responding to their needs, but it’s an arrangement and false nurturing / mothering that doesn’t start with the state of my own being and it’s sacred quality, and what I need to do for myself as a first point, not as an afterthought. It’s been very ingrained in me that a woman’s role is supporting others, but what support truly is can be redefined by the quality of my own state of being and self-care, rather than the depletion of being everyone’s ATM of care.
Maybe we just have to shine and be our magnificent selves for all to see, ‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’
Inspiration can come in many ways, ‘The other night I stepped outside to drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament,’ the Milky Way constellation that we are blessed with in the Southern Hemisphere night sky. I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty’.
We may react or reject those who don’t hold back in shining their light. This happens constantly between men and women, in relationships, families, friends…it seems that we have lost our ability to reflect and support each other in being more of the love we really are. Instead of that we compete, fight, defend…losing the awesome opportunity to grow and evolve together.
I love having people like the Benhayon family and the entire student body of Universal Medicine in my life, each one of them are like the guiding light all Humanity needs. The reflection of the fullness that we all can live.
Anne I love the analogy of the cocoon and the butterfly you described. It’s very beautiful how Nature reflects to us that ‘we are constantly called to more’. The deepening of love never ends and we can hold oursevles from the fact that we are already everything and we are ever expanding, more and more…
I love the bit in this article about when we are at ease and settled ‘in our own skin’ everything is so simple and clear. Joyful and awesome too. And it is in this realisation that I see how I play the game of having low self-worth as an indulgence and excuse not to embrace the responsibility of being all of me, in full, always.
The idea of a star having self-worth issues shines a light on how ridiculous it is.
Yes. As does the idea of a baby having self-worth issues. A sobering exposure of what we have set up to teach and reflect as we get older.
I love this example Mary, and its shows how we play games and more at times.
“A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms,” and this happened the other night while baby sitting a 3 month old and its siblings some 10 years older were watching a Star Wars movie and the baby would not rest and continues to cry, which was not normal before or after this movie!!
Low self-worth is rife within most people in the world. And when you described that a baby has none of this feels so true, it is inherited or passed on, serving us to stay away from the beauty that is within. And when a person has self-worth and needs no validation from anyone outside, I often observe what gets thrown at them, jealousy and comparison, to destabilise them.
Another thing I loved is that we are forever expanding, so we are offered an opportunity to evolve, constantly.
I recall when I was a little girl and I could not sleep, I would look out at the dark skies, covered in thousands of sparkling stars, wondering what was going on out there and how I would loved to have been a part of them. And yet it is all there for us, if we feel or willing to receive it. It is innately within us all, its a matter of whether we look within or with outside of our self’s is the key question. It has to start somewhere, so why not within…
I feel self worth is a learned experience where as children we get to feel that somehow we do not matter.
There we are as children full of glory and the world reflects back an attitude of Nah! I’m not buying into your glory because I don’t have it, it got lost somewhere so you cannot have it either and so we get squashed like an Ant. This is huge because if we were to value our children and what they naturally bring direct from the universe then maybe there would be less self worth issues and more people living the glory they naturally are.
Mary I agree, we see children as being small people so they mustn’t know much. If we really observed, allowed and learnt from them, they’re much wiser then the bigger people running the world. There is much wisdom within all, we just need to meet them at that, it is that simple.
Why do people choose to embrace a lack of worth, ‘Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? And that all learned behaviour serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive?’
Claim ourselves or be claimed, so is the energetic law.
Humans beings certainly appear to be the only species to have issues of self worth – I do not know of a bee that is buzzing around feeling worthless in its beehive, nor do I know of an ant that will stop doing what it is doing or allow self worth to affect it in its day to day…So why do we let it affect us so much? Perhaps it is the choice of not allowing ourselves to connect to the all that we are a part of?
Maybe the bees and ants have a purpose, a purpose greater than just for self, and so they get on with what is needed, for the benefit of all.
It’s a great point Anne that we have the term “low self worth” but not “high self worth”. As you have shared, we either are ourselves in full shining brightly with no holding back, or we separate from ourselves and low self worth moves in.
I was sitting with friend’s recently eating lunch in a small café and one of my friends had a baby and everyone had noticed the baby. One man said hello honey as he walked past and we all knew he wasn’t talking to any of us adults but to the baby who was very contented within herself and maybe that’s what we all gravitate to, the fact that a baby is very much self-contained as hasn’t as yet looked outside itself to be accepted and recognised by the world. We all seem to lose this self-containment as we grow from a baby to a child where self-contentment doesn’t seem to be accepted or cherished in the same way by society. Is it possible that at some point we get jealous of the self-satisfaction or contentment because we have lost it in ourselves?
Anne I sense this is what we have forgotten our relationship with the stars and the universe. The light pollution is so bad that for many of us the stars cannot be seen, we don’t look up to the stars any more but look down and so we have forgotten where we originate it’s as though we have become one dimensional.
It is a very liberating thing to feel your value and your worth from an inner connection rather than relying on the outside world to recognise or acknowledge you in some way.
Maybe our inner connection needs to be the leading impulse, ‘At the same time, the trust in our inner voice and promptings fades. Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world.’
In reshaping our selves to earn recognition, approval and acceptance we disconnect and lose our true shape and nature.
“At one time I chose to be super ‘good’ and ‘helpful’ because I’d taken on the beliefs that I was self-centred, unattractive, a bit nasty and in many ways, simply not good enough.”
When you really allow yourself to feel this statement, and how many people could make their own version of this, it is quite heart breaking really. The energy that runs us that thinks we are not good enough, is pure evil.
Interesting how we try to be good or better because we allow the world to convince us that we are bad or broken or damaged in some way.
What a great conversation, I have been in many situations where I wasn’t able at the time to read what was really going on, so I took abuse or bad behaviour to mean there was something wrong with me or I needed to change. I love how the Ageless Wisdom shares that we are whole, complete and beautiful as we are, just as we see in babies who are connected to their essence. Learning to let go of those many harmful situations and messages meant to disrupt our connection to our essence is a huge healing process but very worth it.
When we could allow ourselves be our natural amazing magnificent selves, ‘ We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.’
Just what I needed to read thanks and I love the reminder or the stars and how they don’t have a day when the decide to not shine, as if! It is awesome to experience and be around people who do not hold back and shine the light that we are, in every way all of the time and Natalie Benhayon is a solid rock in expressing this. I can see how possible it is and I am inspired and committed to shine as bright as I am meant to with not an ounce of reductionism.
Having low self-worth is far from something to fix. In fact, the chase and striving to fix it will only dig a deeper hole. Worth is something we were born with, we knew we were adorable just breathing, eating and sleeping. So, it’s a matter of accepting and reclaiming that worth that never goes away.
It is we who create self-worth issues, which are the perfect excuse for not getting on with life and bringing what we are here for. It complicates what can be simple. There may be many so called justified reasons for adopting this way of behaviour though none of them are true when seen from our essential being.
I was intrigued by the title of your article Anne, ‘Self worth, the Stars and the Universe’, and how you present it is anything but natural for us to undermine or believe we are in any way not worthy. Every star in the universe has its constellated place and so do each one of us with our specific reflection. Yes to this, ‘We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.’
‘However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed’. Yes, challenges that come on our path are great reflections of our self-worth and if we are standing on a solid foundation or not.
Anne I have been in the company of a small child recently and it is fascinating that from the get go we bombard our children with our own ideas, ideals and our own beliefs of how we want things to be. The children then become mini mum and dads as we reward and punish for behaviours we like or dislike. It is actually quite shocking the damage we can do to a child because all they know when they are young is their immediate family and if there is any jealousy, comparison or competition between the parents over the child / children then in my humble opinion it is a recipe for disaster for the whole family.
‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ A concious choice we can make to shine our light just like the stars.
The stars shine because it is their nature, and so do we, when we are we truly are.
‘As I lay down to sleep, I literally had stars in my eyes and felt connected to the glory of the universe that we are all part of’ This is such a beautiful way of embracing yourself Anne. How amazing this society would be if we all would walk in life knowing that we are more than just humans, coming from the stars to shine unreservedly.
We create millions of complications and excuses to not shine whereas our true beauty remains pure inside us from our day birth. It simply just not make sense.
A great point – the attitude of self-critique and sense of unworthiness is not what we are born with, but is a learnt behaviour that ‘serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive.’ And I like what you say about how we don’t describe people as ‘having a high self-worth’ – which for them is simply just being and sharing who they are unreservedly.
It is an amazing thing, to look up at the stars and feel inspired, held and loved. To not look and see only an earth based scientific view, but a loving beholding quality that emanates in eternity. And this is so awesome because whilst science is needed, it does not hold the love that the stars do, and isn’t this what at the end of the day every one is looking and searching for? To be loved? Perhaps that is why the stars are seen most clearly at night, because this is at the end of the day, an eternal reflection showing us where the end of the journey will take us back to – at home with the stars.
This is most beautifully expressed Shami.
When we are young we feel on top of the world and slowly we learn that certain behaviours get us rewards, and we start to measure ourselves against those rewards, and set ourselves up to constantly be in motion seeking the next, and as we grow up the rewards are less frequent and we start to question ourselves falling into lack of self-worth, until such time we realise that self-worth comes from within and is nothing to do with anything outside of us.
Lack of self-worth is a game that the spirit knows how to play to give us the perfect excuse not to claim who we are. It is a totally self-created reality.
Compared to the stars, our hang ups are indeed ridiculous, ludicrous and silly – as you write, they don’t one day not come out because they have self-worth issues, they just shine.
In a conversation with a friend, she feedback how I was full of excuses which were holding me back and at the same time causing some struggle because I was being called to be more…. and it was true. I accepted this and have since been making adjustments. It is truth that exposes the excuses.
Love what you are saying here that self-worth is our birth right and natural way and anything less than that is simply a learnt way of denying our beauty.
When we are connected to our essence self worth issues simply cease to exist.
How important is it then to stay connected to our inner-most, our essence.
I have come to appreciate that taking care of myself is not selfish or an indulgence but a part of my day that is needed to reflect to others their worth. As women we have put the needs of others before ourselves, caring for our partners, our children and forgetting the value in deeply loving and nurturing ourselves.
We all equally have the potential to shine but low self-worth immediately dims that light.
I am learning that my worth is everything. How I feel about myself, the worthiness that I feel and live by need to be constantly chosen. The split second that I think, for whatever reason, I am not worthy is opening a massive door way for more of this erroneous energy to fill my body and before I can blink I have slumped, and move as though I am not worthy. There really is the chicken and the egg story happening here. But ultimately what comes first doesn’t matter. What does is our choice to again return our awareness to our worth. As this holds us firm as we walk through our life.
All we have to do is to change our movements and live consistently with the light of the stars, reflecting the light we are and we can walk with through our life.
Leading the way is the way back to where we are from, the way where we were once united and full.
There is just so much to savour here, understanding that there is an innateness in us that is just there ready to shine and all those learned behaviours we adopt never dim what is in us – it’s just for us to learn to allow that brightness out.
We are being constantly called to more so it is inevitable that we are going to experience moments where our self-worth may plummet even a little as we step into the more. The question is ‘how do we respond to the offering of more?’ Do we sink or do we rise to the challenge?
I was talking this through yesterday with someone… why is that I have to constantly working, proving myself, feeling like I have to earn the right for a place here on this planet? Its that lack of self worth, rather than just being confident and content with my place and then taking the opportunity to express everything that I have got to give.
Shared by a wise man- The moment we stop living the truth that we are from the stars that is our multidimensionality, we dis-honour who we are. In this dis-honouring we separate from God and in floods the lack of self worth. If we walked our multi-dimensionality we would have no issues with our self worth.
Anne thank you, I have really enjoyed reading this again, and it’s so true, we are not born with low self worth, it’s not a part of our innate essence at all, rather something we take on and believe to be true.
It is such a beautiful thing to do, to simply look up at night, and to feel the expansion and beauty that is there for us.
Self worth issues are things we take on, not things we are born with and they are very much about self – not about others. They do not expand us – they keep us small which is the game of playing less. This blog does a brilliant job at exposing this and asking me to consider why we let self worth issues be a cloud in our lives.
‘Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned?’ Good question Anne! Yes I feel that lack of self worth has been learned or imposed upon us and we have bought into it – it is certainly not a natural way to be. And this lack of self-worth forms a great identification for the human spirit so that it can stay indicated through identification.
‘To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.’ There is no self worth to build, there is no getting ready to be enough and to shine, there is nothing to improve or be better at. The analogy of the baby shows us that we don’t have self worth issues – does a baby ever ask him/herself if they are worth it?
It’s a new way to look at low self worth, that to rid oneself of its energy is in reconnecting to the essence of who we are where it simply does not exist.
I’d never thought of it like that – you don’t ever hear anyone say that someone has ‘high self-worth’ – we either judge them as being what we perceive as being arrogant (usually out of comparison with our own lack of self worth), or appreciate them for being a shining leading point of inspiration. As our self-worth improves, so too does the opportunity and choice for others to be inspired become more apparent, and vice-versa. We are here to inspire one another.
And being told that you are ‘full of yourself’ is never a compliment! (Usually because its inspired by arrogance, but the point is… that is the whole point).
‘The stars just are and they shine because’ they stay shining, and the only time they are not visible to us is not because they are not shining but because the clouds intervene and cover them up, just as the clouds of lack of self worth hide the spark of the divine within each one of us.
Well said Lyndy Summerhaze. That spark within is forever there. It’s just that we forget sometimes and let what is out there have more precedence. We can reconnect, lovingly so, at any time.
Beautiful Elaine. Yes it is Arjuna’s ‘battle’ of Kurukshetra. Let us shoot down all the false images that populate our Field and bring on the Love that we are.
Beautiful and true Lyndy…love sees through the clouds.
“Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned.”
I would also add self-worth is not alone learned, but lack of self-worth is perpetuated in schools by adults to the kids. I am assuming just about every child has a story about been made to feel less in school.
Insisting on living off the fuel of low self-worth is a dishonouring of God and our own true nature.
‘As humans we are not constrained by the limitations of species specific instincts, but hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul’. This is so important to remember, our SOUL is waiting for us all with open arms.
If we achieve all that we do with self-worth issues, imagine what we would achieve without them?
True self-worth is not thinking well of, or backing ourselves but consistently holding our essence as, as grand as the stars. The part where I personally start to loose it, is when I buy into jobs descriptions and roles. Never loose track of the fact that you are divine and not from this world. Let this be your starting point and all else will unfold.
‘Never loose track of the fact that you are divine and not from this world. Let this be your starting point and all else will unfold.’ A brilliant reminder this morning not to play it small but to allow the grandness to naturally shine through in all we lovingly do.
“We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way.” So true Anne and shows that in the night sky we see each individual star shine just as bright as the next. Some may appear closer or further away but no matter they still shine equally so. If we looked to the stars for inspiration we would see just how amazing it is to value and hold ourselves as worthy lights and all we need to do is simply be exactly as we are the day we were born.
You are so right Anne, ‘To value oneself’ in such a society of ours, is to hold a strong light that calls to others to remember our divine origin. The human spirit has simply trashed the body, and bought into games of putting oneself down or not caring about the consequence of any indulgent act it can conjure up. Valuing oneself really turns the tide on this so that we can look up once again and truly see the stars.
“We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way.” Yes, so true, it shows that we have a tendency to distort everything from what it truly is, particularly ourselves, instead of staying in the light the we are we create issues and dramas that keep us busy forever but hinder us to see the grandness we are and from.
We learn to take ourselves down a peg, it’s not natural to us to do so. And yet most don’t bat an eyelid when being critical of themselves, myself included at times still. It makes me question-what am I truly getting when I take myself down? How does it feel?
Thank you Anne for your honesty, humanity needs more of these blogs to bring some transparent discussion to a topic that many if not most have difficulty with. Self-worth is everything as it forms our true foundation yet so many of us struggle to build it without relying on external factors like looks, wealth etc.
So true that self-worth is a learned behaviour. I watch my toddler not hold back with any reservations – she just goes with her body. Simple as. But as soon as we start to let thoughts come in, to compare to what is outside of us, and to shy away from the responsibility we have to reflect all of who we are – self-worth has a home.
That is a beautiful comment HM, you have described the differences so clearly between the way your toddler is, and the way the mind works to think us away from the natural beauty within.
There has to be a lack of acceptance in ourselves to have self worth issues. When I do not accept myself where I am at but have an expectation that I do not carry out I find myself attacking self. My self worth plummets. I start to compare myself with others and feel disappointed instead of appreciating what is on offer. I may find myself in a situation that I have chosen to avoid because of the responsibility that came with it, I may allow myself to feel more deeply the truth of what is going on and begin to have understanding which I did not have before, I may sense the energy of a group that may feel very uncomfortable which I had ignored and overrided in the past… there is much I am learning in my unfolding and putting myself in situations which I have avoided in my past because of a greater responsibility that is being called for is not an excuse to give myself a hard time and create a lack of self worth. It is simply showing me a call for a greater love towards myself in my every day livingness.
It’s a great point Caroline, that if we are in low self worth we have chosen to leave ourselves.
I fully agree with you Anne – Natalie is like a big shining star lighting the way for all to return to their true power and shine forth equally so.
“People like Natalie Benhayon, whose love for humanity is so great that she simply and playfully shines a light on The Way, works tirelessly but joyfully to inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire, their true worth and to shine forth too”.
I can see how often I have used my claimed ‘lack of self-worth issue’ as an excuse to not really show the world the real me and have held back my natural light-hearted playfulness whenever I came across people who intimidated me. More and more, though, I have felt an inner strength that has at its foundation a stronger connection with my inner self that really helps me hold myself in any difficult situation, as it is so exhausting to play games of being small and identifying with low self-worth and constantly beating myself up over mistakes or other things, instead of learning and moving on.
This is a fantastic sharing Anne, you most certainly have great wisdom to impart. Many will continue to be inspired by your example every time we re read your words and see that it is absolutely possible to have real value in this world all we need to do is allow ourselves to see it!
The way you express is deeply beautiful Anne. This blog stirs up something inside of me and shows me that is absolutely possible to accept myself exactly as I am while I evolve and grow. This is what we are made of and made for.
As a child and in growing up I remember how I could have what I wanted if I fulfilled certain criteria laid down by parents or teachers or schoolmates. If I did what was expected of me by them then I would gain ‘the rewards that life can offer’ from material things to opportunities, to attention, care and love. When this did not happen I felt let down, betrayed. Later this was further confirmed in relationships with boys and then men. They were not playing by the rules they had set down. There was one rule for one and a different for another. No wonder we get confused and our sense of values begins to wobble and gradually gets eroded. As women we tend to put up with a lot and even get rewarded for keeping this false way of living going. It may be a long road to reconnect with that awesome being that we left way back when but boy is it worth it, reclaiming our connection to the magnificence of the universe and the magnificence that is also us.
It may be surprising that a Divine being can have self-worth issues but clearly it is quite possible.
Ha ha, yes and it is very beautiful to watch and connect with them, ‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’
Self worth – we know it as children and then we let it go to gain recognition from others. If we can let it go then we can invite it back by learning to simply be ourselves, no matter what.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Very true – when we feel full or ourselves we look after, care and love ourselves. Looking to others to gain acceptance is a hiding to nothing. I know I’ve been there. As Shakespeare says in Hamlet “to thine own self be true.”
When our self-worth is based on recognition from others and the applause of the world, we are on shaky grounds and nothing that comes towards us in the form of fame, fortune and accolades is ever enough. The inner emptiness remains.
So key what you share Gabriele, when we leave ourselves there is empty void that has an insatiable appetite that in truth can never be filled from anything outside of us. Returning home is a joyful reunion.
‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ This is a lovely way to be Anne. I have been gradually arriving at this place in my life and it feel beautiful. Highly recommended!
Lack of self-worth is the result of a chain of disappointments. Others get disappointed because you do not match the image of what they expect from you and as a result, you also get disappointed with yourself because you could not match it either, and because you have disappointed the others.
“We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential” . . . beautifully said Anne! I love this blog as it made me laugh at myself. Oh, what a feeble excuse to stay comfortable declaring that I suffer from low self-esteem!
To create a self worth issue or degrade ourselves and to feel the tension of this we must know our ‘worth’ to begin with and our true relationship with the universe. Otherwise low self worth would not be a problem and would just be the normal way of living.
This is so true Anne, babies are not born with self-worth issues. It looks like we accumulate them as we grow up. I am seeking more and more young children adopting a lack of self-worth, and this makes me wonder what is going on, why are children at a very young age experiencing self-worth issues?
Thanks Anne, I’m feeling the constriction of an artificial skin that is shedding but the exposure feels a little vulnerable. Babies feel vulnerable – this is absolutely understood, appreciated and honoured and I can choose the same for myself.
We will never measure up while we keep the focus on the outside, our value and worth has to come from inside ourselves, ‘Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world.’
Realising that self-worth issues are a learnt behaviour is a powerful exposé as by knowing that they then feel much more achievable to heal as they are not something that is actually ‘us’ but something gained and therefore can be discarded.
Yes knowing that we are not our issues is very empowering.
‘As children grow and learn to negotiate life with others’ – and once we realise this it opens up a whole new understanding of all those seemingly little moments from our childhood that stand out as significant and poignant. We know who we are deep down but the years seem to erode our connection until something re-awakens us, which for me was being introduced to the work of Serge Benhayon – a moment when I began to return to who I truly was all along……..
I am aware that low self-worth harms not only the person hiding but, like the star, means others also lose their navigation because their mechanism for measurement has altered its brightness and it, therefore, alters the reflection offered to others. If others don’t step in to fill that void then the ripple effect could be enormous. We have a duty to stay true to ourselves, to shine brightly and consistently, we were born that way after all.
Oh there are so many elements of this blog that shine to call me back to a deeper knowing that I have stepped to the side of. “Like a snake we must shed the skin that constricts and constrains our growth” The constraint is life-threatening and this morning I can feel the importance of shedding this skin to live the life I am being called to live, in full.
Wow Anne, you are a BRILLIANT writer!!!!!
No more hiding, time to come out and share your amazing wisdom with the world.
Anne I can feel your amazingness and the more you come to appreciate how amazing you most definitely are, the greater your expansion will be. You will also be sharing more of your divinity with our universe. Win Win all-round for everyone…. and your the catalyst.
Anne, this is brilliant — showing us exactly that we are part of the Universe and that our self-worth issues are never based on any truth but a denial of the heavenly beauty that we come from. In a nutshell. So, whenever we are feeling low — we need to connect, connect to our truth — of who we know. But this takes the power of us choosing to become free of the entanglement and stand out in the beauty that we are representative of.
Thank you for this excellent expose on self worth issues. It was great Thank you for this excellent expose on self worth. It was great to get this explanation as I have struggled with this issue from time to time also in my life. To understand that it is actually a self made issue or a disguise we wear to hide our light behind is very sobering but healing as well.
My understanding is that lack of self worth is self-created, it is not real in a sense that these issues are not who we are.
Me too Andrew, I would say I have struggled with a lack of self-worth in my life big time. When feeling not enough, an issue of my own creation, to call it out no doubt feels liberating and empowering and from then on I gently bring myself back to the worthiness I know I am. The lack of self-worth destroys if we allow it to take over in our lives.
‘A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms, and doesn’t seem to ask “Am I worth it?” They innately know that it is not even a question that needs to be considered.’ When you put it down like this it’s very clear how ridiculous it is to ‘have’ self worth issues. Like you say ‘To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.’ A bit of an ouch at my end but I know with my whole body this is true.
Like a lighthouse shines its light so sailors can know their way, when we shine our lights, our fellow sisters and brothers know their way and that they can shine their light as well. When we doubt ourselves, and have this lack of self-worth, that is what we are reflecting out, which shows others that this is normal when it is not.
A question I have been asking myself recently is ‘where am I on my list of priorities?’ Am I putting myself at the top of the list or am I left somewhere at the bottom, to deal with my stuff when I’m already exhausted and depleted from focusing on others first. Things like renewing my parking permit or filling in my tax return often get left and then I have an excuse to self bash and criticise myself for not living up to the self imposed picture I have created. I can feel by shifting this old pattern I will naturally create space for so much more as it’s utterly exhausting walking through life carrying all this baggage of unresolved stuff.
yes ‘unresolved stuff’ gets heavier the longer we leave it. So re-freshing when we attend to what’s there to be dealt with. On a similar note I found this week that I am ready to let go of bags of material and old clothes that I have been keeping nicely hidden away. I know that in releasing these old goods I will make way for so much more space in my life and a clearer way forward.
I love that when you tried to be good it all fell apart!!! “The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” I know this from having kids, working with them and my own experience growing up! I have learnt that the moment I try to be something I am not I have to work twice as hard and eventually the wheels fall off. I have learnt to embrace who I am, where I am from and all that I am made of – lessons and all.
It is true that the stars shine bright and don’t hold back, a reminder of where we are from and the fact that we can be this too. If we connect to who we are, underneath all the beliefs and ideals, then we can connect to the fact that we are part of something so much bigger – we have a relationship with the universe that is unquestionable.
“We are constantly called to more.” This is so true. But there is no drive or push to get to the more, just a settlement and acceptance of our own love and the willingness to respond from it in every situation.
Anne, this is really interesting to read; ‘dieting to get as close as possible to the body image and shape presented at the time, being unobtrusive, interested, patient, undemanding… anything but real’, I can relate to changing myself to be more liked and more accepted, this feels awful and now i am coming back to being me, to being real and this feels much more lovely and true.
Someone reminded me the other day that these things that bring us down are thoughts…and where do they come from? They are not even truly ours, they are fed to us and then if we choose we grab them and think we own them but are they not really owning us?
A most beautiful story Anne, and I thank you from my heart for sharing it. There is so much we make life about and yet simplicity is where lays the door to true grandness and the whole universe.
When we look up into the sky at night we can feel our connection to the Universe and the reflection it offers with it’s magnificent array of stars, and this reminds us that we too are shining lights with the same sense of purpose. This is our true way of being in the world and nothing can take this away as we slowly return to our true place in the Universe at one with the all.
Beautiful Susan. I don’t appreciate the night sky nearly enough. Thanks for the reminder.
When we see ourselves as shining lights we know what a difference we make and our sense of purpose becomes clearer.
Lack of worth is a choice – a culmination of many many choices prior to not shine our divine light that is our natural birthright and true expression.
We can create a life that ticks everything we have ever wanted – be that misery, success, low self-worth or fame… or we can live the truth of who we are and not hold that back from the world in any form.
I love the point you make about self-worth, that is it a learned behaviour and not something we are born with.
We are all totally worth it so to speak , but the world does not reflect that to us , but the key is to change the game . Self appreciation cuts the energy of the worlds reflection . As explained in this writing the baby lives self appreciation.
Lack of self-worth is simply lack of connection, as from here, everything we are is always a value.
To read how you talked about the stars,the Miky Way, and the vastness of the Universe felt so heavenly and expansive Anne, I could feel my body connecting to the grandness. Yet in the next sentence when you talked about the lack of self worth I could feel myself sink back into my chair and lose that expansive feeling, it just shows we have a choice at every moment to connect to the expansiveness that is within us all, or chose to hide in the confines of our lack of self worth and self esteem.
Yes! we take ourselves from the Universal expansiveness, the Universe doesn’t leave us – it simply is. Such an obvious point but feels like a revelation to me in this moment!
I’ve noticed this morning how panicking and making situations bigger than me is very tiring. In reading this I can feel how it’s also an excuse to say “I am not worth all that life is presenting” thus I shut the door on further expansion. But when I don’t expand life becomes harder and a struggle so I might aswell say yes to the grander love on offer.
Lack of self-worth is a great story if you want to cop out of life and I think it is a story we have all run at one point or another. I love how this blog breaks down even the concept of “lack of self-worth” and how it is actually a ridiculous thing to keep running. Well done for seeing through the game Anne and bringing it back to us all to reflect on in this blog.
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‘when life is getting on top of me and I’m surrounded by reflections showing that I’m not up to scratch’ Life’s education of reflections serve us greatly – how awesome to have that instant feedback that shows us the way without judgment, its simply there for us to observe and learn from.
I often plague myself with self-worth issues and used to drink a lot of alcohol to cover this up but it never really worked. I love the milky way which is a real treat to see now as I now live in the Northern Hemisphere, but it is hard to imagine that anyone looking at it cannot feel that we are all part of something so much bigger than the lives we confine ourselves too.
There is so much in this article. The night sky has always held mystery and surrender all in one for myself. Camping and literally sleeping under the stars has been a past time that I have loved. I have spent some time in western Qld and the crispness of the night sky in those areas always made me feel like it came down and enveloped me.
Lack of self worth is a condition that much of humanity is constricted by. Our go to, taught by beliefs that are ingrained and lived by generations before us and those around us reinforcing lack of self worth as ‘how it is’.
My experience is that the thoughts that create self worth issues never come from the stillness of my inner essence, they always come from outside of me, they drop in and condemn and constrict and re configure how I am in my body. It is the greatest of gifts to feel this as an absolute truth and to know I can either ‘give in’ to them or recognize their falseness and surrender to the truth of the stillness and purpose of my essence.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it”
How many of us do feel comfortable in our own skin? I for one have spent most of my life not even knowing how it felt. I do now and as is shared here, you get on with it. However in doing so you bring a presence, a heart to all that you do and the joy of feeling this way is palpable, a way of living that you simply want to share.
“most of the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked. So, looking for redemption, I attempted to re-shape myself in their image” – Isn’t it absurd that we can model our whole life and personality on fictional characters, and take an idea written down onto paper to be the comparative model of what ‘real’ life should look like. The responsibility of directors, writers and producers of this content is huge, but even more important is how we use it. If there was no demand for these type of heroines and characters would the entertainment industry be as successful as it is today?
Absolutely Susie. Because of the pain of our ceaseless unease and our inability to settle because we are not living from our true essence, we call for entertainment to pacify this agony. We fall for the slick magic of film and its beautiful heroines so that we may inhabit, if only for a while, a realm which is not our own made creation but somebody else’s! Even as a mostly joyful young person I remember being captivated by the romance of the movie Gigi and did not want to then live in prosaic Goonellabah wearing jeans, but wanted to walk the boulevards of Paris in gorgeous long dresses. What an illusion. I know where I would rather be now– but even that isn’t the point.
‘We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way. People like Natalie Benhayon, whose love for humanity is so great that she simply and playfully shines a light on The Way, works tirelessly but joyfully to inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire, their true worth and to shine forth too.’ Beautifully said Anne. The dogged hanging on to lack of self-worth and self-loathing is ridiculous when you connect to the innermost and realise that we are Sons of God. The creation of suffering is the biggest trick on earth – it has absolutely no substance.
That we can simply walk outside and look up and be so inspired is truly one of the wonders of the universe.
Yes I agree Chris, one of my favourite things to do is to look up at the night sky and be blessed by its incredible beauty.
We spend our whole lives living up to pictures of our own creation, only to miss out on the fact that we are so much more. It seems such a waste that if we were to drop everything and come back to us, we would find that we had everything all along and that no amount of changing ourselves to fit in would ever bring us back to our true self. Talk about going around in circles.
The more we value ourselves the more we uncover the oodles of support, love and care we have around us and we see how our movements either propel us forward or hold us in struggle and tension. When we move with appreciation for who we are we begin to feel the purpose and quality of our movements and how this in turn then supports all.
One point that really stood out in this blog was the fact that we never question our worth as a baby, we proudly and fully claim what we need, be that food, water or sleep. We do not hold back out of fear of upsetting our Mum. Lack of self worth is a story we run, in order to avoid shining. I love the reflection you offer us with this article and the eternal offering from the stars.
Yes, I agree that lack of self worth is learned behaviour. We are not born with it, but it can take a while for us to let go of behaviours that have been ingrained from childhood. One loving step at a time.
Often we think that the choices of a child are unimportant but these choices actually shape the adult we then become, and the life we will go on to have.
I love this sentence: “However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed. Do I back myself up or am I so timid that at the first hint of criticism I withdraw back into my shell? ” It’s the difficult moments where we are asked to step up and back ourselves that call us to make the choice of how we want our lives to be – a life where we are constantly moving forward and embracing life or one where we are stepping backwards.
Looking up at the stars at night at the vast firmament I feel so expanded and connected and I appreciate myself in a way that there is no question as to my self worth.
That’s true, how can you question your worth when you are part of something so magnificent?
This is beautifully said Elaine and brings us back to simplicity and purpose. As how could we not play a part in this entire universe when we are in it and part of it?
It’s beautiful the sense of simplicity that I get when reading where you describe how you feel and live when you do not question your worth – this is what I find with myself too – that beating myself up and undermining myself breeds complication and stress whereas when I allow myself to just innately value who I am then this makes life much simpler…
When we live in a way that does not put the being and body first, we can suffer from lack of self-worth from not feeling the truth of who we are. In other words, our body is always willing to show us that we are divinity through a physical form – when we resist we reduce ourselves and our feeling of worth.
“does it mean that there is something to fix, and once fixed, then the worth can kick in and the rewards that life can offer will be attained, or at least come within reach?” This is a biggy for me as I often feel like there’s something that needs fixing within my life and within me. The first step towards a healthy self-worth is to know we all actually are capable of having one, it is within our reach because it is who we naturally are. It is a process of remembering rather than fixing.
“Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world” which is an incredible rabbit hole as that is not at all self-worth.
At some level Anne, while not denying the images we bought into, I actually feel we had a better chance in life of connecting with equality and quality growing up in the fifties than we do now. I saw a photo recently at a presentation of a family in the fifties and I remembered so vividly a sense of purity and freshness that is very lacking in the jadedness of our present-day world.
There is so much in here that I want to read it again and read every comment to see what other people also took from your blog. I appreciate that lack of self-worth is a learnt behaviour, that we are not born feeling less. I love the reflection that is there day in day out – consistently reflecting our grandness back to us as an inspiration to be that ourselves for others. I appreciate the reflections we have in people who choose that same level of dedication in their lives and yes, hats of to Natalie Benhayon who inspires by her lived way – not by a need to approval or recognition.
The universe is constantly reflecting back to us the wondrous nature within ourselves, and once we connect to that we realize that, that is only the beginning as there is much more than we can imagine when we connect to and live from our soul and to be of true service for all.
‘The other night I stepped outside to drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament,’ the Milky Way constellation that we are blessed with in the Southern Hemisphere night sky. I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty, constancy, ancient timelessness, expansion and home that the night sky brings’. This is such a lovely thing to do Anne. To look up into the night sky is so nourishing for every aspect of our being. Feeling the beauty and authority of the star and knowing that they emanate within us is a real tonic. We feel humbled and yet full of value and worth. True Medicine.
I love to do this regularly also Lyndy and I feel so refreshed and expanded whenever I do take a moment to observe the heavens constellations.
The path we traverse to make ourselves ‘better’ ….when we are already amazing all along.
I am amazing.
Re-Building my sense of self worth came when I began to appreciate my qualities and my expression; knowing that along side everyone else’s unique expression, mine was also unique too and therefore worth valuing.
You’re right Anne – no one is born with lack of self-worth… So could we say that it is a choice? Do we choose to lack in our own self-worth and do we get something out of it?
Very pertinent point Rachael. The human spirit indeed gets a lot out of identifying with lack of self-worth. This stand in life is not only a protective device which spectacularly backfires and opens us to even more peril, but it is also a very effective mechanism to keep us out of the magnificent power and beauty that is our birth-right. Lack of self-worth has nothing to do with us! It is simply an identification of the human spirit to keep itself individuated and separate from the Soul.
‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’- Ha! How true is this, our true nature is to never dull our light no matter what situation we may find ourselves in.
This ‘self-worth’ world can seem like a jungle we are eternally stuck in, with endless paths, patches, hollows and heaps of creeping vine. Once stuck in there we seek a way out by pushing ahead and attempting to slash at what’s in our way. But what your words say to me Anne is that ‘self-worth’ is actually more of a fog that descends from time to time and masks our true vision of the world. Whatever landscape we see when we are in its midst of this mist doesn’t matter – it’s all a big illusion and lie. We don’t need to solve or go into the complex weeds of the issues, but see right through the dark clouds.
Very true. When faced with challenges we get to come face to face also with our self-worth. We can stand by ourselves, speak up about what we feel, or we can be intimidated by life and people and feel knocked down.
This is a pearl of wisdom Anne – everyone matters and the more each one of us knows that and values our own magnificence, power and love, saying an absolute ‘NO” to the lack of self-worth game that has us spiralling down into the pit you so well described, the more humanity will be lifted and strengthened. We will be able to heal the cess-pool of misery ad disease that we misguidedly revel in.
‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ – How profound this claiming is, and simply an amazing confirmation that you know perfectly well who you are, and by that, are able to honour and deeply appreciate what you bring.
Thank you Anne ,a gorgeous inspiration to remember connect to the universe that is inside all of us.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Beautiful when we are connected we simply know and shine our light lovingly and when we are not self doubt raises its ugly head and takes over if we let it. Just look at the stars and the universe and all can be seen in its glory.
Ahh that old chestnut of trying to be good at everything so as to not let others done and all the time I just need to be me.
I am sure there is a trade descriptions act that comes into play when we are not ourselves! There is only so long we can keep up the charade before the illusion crumbles.
At the age of 50 I am returning to have a relationship with the world, nature and the universe that is full of the wonderment of a child… and much of the awe of this is realising that we are all part of all this.
‘We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way’. And boy, do we need those shinning lights so that we all get the reflection that we can shine our light too and be accepted!
This resonates wth me, feeling connected to the universe, my life is no longer limited to my life within the walls of my home or work, I know that I live in a universe and on a planet that is spinning around the sun, with beautiful starlight shining on us. We limit ourselves with ideas, of family, borders, nationalism, gender, locations etc, we can break these patterns by building a connection with our bodies, the gateway to the universe…self-care is the key to this exploration.
When we get caught up in the details and the hoop jumping of physical life, we reduce ourselves to human beings, where as, if and when we can allow ourselves to feel the grander picture of things, then we can also feel that we are far greater than the human being itself, that there is a connection to dimensions beyond what we can see, dimensions that we are reminded of through the stars. This goes well beyond any spiritual aspect, but goes right to the core – the Soul and the Universe itself.
Imagin if a caterpillar refused to become a crysalys it’s ludicrous right ! Yet that’s what we do we want to stay the same, for things to not change. We need to look to nature for our inspiration. It’s is more than evident that the flow of magnificent is normal.
Love it Vanessa – magnificent is indeed normal, and true change can only happen if we allow it.
Love the simple honesty where i’m sure this would resonate for the majority of us in how do we actually value ourselves as we are? As you powerfully stated if we live..’anything but real.’ It is living the anything but real that we loose our sense of value and or self worth as we make a decision somewhere along the line that if i am this or than i will ‘get’ from out there, the love, recognition, acceptance. approval or whatever it may be. It’s like who I am just does not cut it in life. BUT if we give it to ourselves what we want from out there, such as love, beginning to value ourselves intrinsically, then life begins to change
As
‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine’
A very inspiring article , thank you Anne – I just love.. ‘As I lay down to sleep, I literally had stars in my eyes and felt connected to the glory of the universe that we are all part of, because as science has presented, we are made of the same particles.’
We are called to constantly be more, in my experience that ‘more’ doesn’t come from outside of me like we ‘learn more’ at school. It’s actually asking that I stay connected to myself more, longer, deeper, in different areas of life.
Yes Leigh, I get that one, I can see how easily I leave myself at work, so to be more, it is for me to ‘stay connected to myself more, longer and deeper’. This makes a lot of sense!
And when I look at it in this way it’s not that connection gets harder or requires more effort but about remaining with myself and then that more comes out as thats what it is designed to do and be.
A great offering and pertinent questions to ask of ourselves… do we back ourselves and do we shine our natural true essence without dulling down our glory?
I too can’t imagine anyone ever looking at a baby and saying “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” So, what happens between our issue free introduction to the world and the issue filled life we often we live as adults? From my life experience I can see that the world isn’t set up to support young children to retain the beautiful way of being that they are born with, but just imagine a world in which this was the normal thing to do!
I love to consider what the world will look like when we honour our natural qualities and connection to each other and the universe.
It seem to me that we ‘stuff up’ when it comes to raising children, that we are given something very precious and totally complete and by the time they get to say 10 and it could be younger we have squashed their preciousness and got them to conform to what we think society expects and we do this because we want them to be tough enough to cope with life. But what if we have this way of parenting all wrong? And lets face it when we look around and see the mess we are all in, surely we have to question our current way of parenting and be honest enough to say its not working and it has never worked.
A great killer of self-worth is comparison.
And a great antidote to lack of self-worth is appreciation.
I love how you bring us back to the shining stars that we are and the simpleness in that there is no reason to not be who we are.
“… Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? …” A great question, giving insight to just how much energetic interference there can be to prohibit a person remaining with that true sense of themselves.
‘Growing up in the fifties I read a lot of books and watched movies where most of the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked’. Yes Anne, this is one of the prime places where we accessed our role models. With me it was mainly books. I remember heroines like ‘George’ (Georgina) in The Famous Five, who was like a boy, acted like a boy, and was rebellious. I remember another heroine who could row boats across choppy lakes in a very ‘plucky’ way and was celebrated for her heroism in this field. Certainly in English books the heroines were praised for their boy-like qualities, while in American Movies of the fifties they were championed for their wonderfully homey/household roles (which didn’t appeal to me at all) or the sexy/destructive roles (which were bruised). I am afraid that I fell for Sandra Dee, an innocent who was extremely cute looking, and somehow managed to have slightly rebellious qualities without offending anyone!
“dieting to get as close as possible to the body image and shape presented at the time, being unobtrusive, interested, patient, undemanding… anything but real” – We often complain that the world is getting crazier every day, and that our current generation is tolerating extraordinary levels of abuse, corruption and irresponsibility even with incredible technological advancements etc.. But, if this is something going on under the surface for many people; the lack of any realness to the way we live in order to come across a certain way, then no wonder this distortedness is amplified in our relationships and in society.
“We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way.” Such a great point Anne. It is a bit crazy how we put so much emphasis on the negative aspects of ourselves, whatever that maybe, but we rarely celebrate the positive aspects and attributes of ourselves or each other unless there has been an achievement. Its surley time something changed in this respect.
‘Self-worth, the Stars and the Universe’ . . . ah I feel a song coming on! Oh it’s already been written “you bring the Light of the Universe, So precious you are, Love Divine’. Track one ‘Sounds of Soul’ [https://www.soundsofsoul.com.au]
“Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned?” very few people grow up knowing what appreciation truly is and therefore, everything else we experience reflects the ‘lack of ‘ and not being enough and so we grow up trying to fill the void of that which we have disconnected from and is a natural way of being.
True – living with appreciation and confirming all that we are leaves no room whatsoever for self-doubt let alone self-critique and living to another tune.
The universe and the stars and that fact that we are all part of this is so beautiful and magnificent to realise and appreciate with a responsibility to shine brightly also as we all made of the same particles.I love this sharing and the understanding of lack of self worth and the claiming of our essence shining out from within .
There is a huge difference in looking to see what my needs, my preferences and my expectations are, to observing what is required to support myself and the whole equally. One seems to encourage me to become more and more insular, dissatisfied and controlling, while the latter inspires an open, inquisitive and expansive relationship with life in which love, responsibility and empowerment is assured.
When we begin to realise the majesty of the Universe and the reflection it offers we can connect to the glory and wonder that we also hold within. Beginning that connection with oneself allows the space to gradually let go of the layers that have eroded our natural sense of worth and our part in the world.
Well said Susan, we are from that, we are part of that, therefore we must play our part, step up and shine brightly back 🙂
As we are light, we are made to shine just like the stars, and no star shines any less on any one night, or holds back in any way. Young children are definitely proof that we started off enthusiastic in our shiny-ness but then realised if we wanted to fit in we had to dim our light and tone ourselves down. Thankfully, all we need to do is reconnect and we are back as shiny as ever.
Low self worth just like self doubt is a crippling comfort that keeps us in the delay of ever having to step up and take full responsibility for ourselves.
When we stand in our essence, there is no criticism. When we step outside of our essence then there is a free reign on any negativity and criticism. So the question is do we come from our essence or not?
The stars remind us we are grander than we ever thought possible.
So true Heather – I love gazing at the stars as it makes me feel so small and humble yet so grand and powerful all at the same time!
What is beautifully raised here is the idea that our appreciation for our divine nature can be an ever deepening process.
I observe my children and children around us and I have not doubt that we are all born feeling like we are enough, children live, respond and enjoy life without questioning themselves. I know that my issues with self worth developed as I grew up…they are healing, but I know I am not alone when it comes to this issue. So what is that saying about how we parent and raise our children society?
When we get to know the thoughts you describe Anne, as energy first and stop entertaining the layers of ridicule, giving up and critique they supply, we’ll get to see that falling asleep with magnificence of the galaxy, talking with the warmth of the sun in your chest or walking with absolute love in each step is not a once in a lifetime experience for us but who we true are and what we deserve to live every day.
Reading the energy of our thoughts is great wisdom Joseph thank you, as when we can catch the critical thoughts it is a moment to look at ‘where was i to allow this bully in?’ The stars and the sun and the space all around us show us that we are much grander than the limiting thoughts, and that we are deserving of love and respect.
‘As I lay down to sleep, I literally had stars in my eyes and felt connected to the glory of the universe that we are all part of, because as science has presented, we are made of the same particles. ‘ – Very lovely Anne, I can feel the beautiful connection.
Low-self worth often seems a sophisticated strategy to me for a person to be less and to justify that way of being.
“Have we ever looked at a baby and thought, “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” I certainly have not.” Ditto, its quite funny to even consider this yet why then do we have self worth issues as an adult when we have the ability to objectively look at life? Something else is going on yet nothing around us confirms that feeling we have as a baby so we end up going down a path that is the opposite of who we truly are. And opposite to what the stars shine on us.
This is a gorgeous blog, bringing a truth that we all need to hear. It takes courage but we are meant to grow and shed our skin, letting ourselves not be small but the grandness that we are.
I had a big realisation recently that I too often dismiss the power of my presence and cast myself aside believing that it doesn’t matter if I’m present or not. But it does matter a great deal. My presence is as important as anyone else’s, and to believe otherwise is a huge devaluing of myself.
That is true. The moment we are ready to withstand the avalanche of criticism and jealousy we realise what you have described so beautifully, Rebecca.
“Like a snake we must shed the skin” ….. and step out of our comfort zone into new territory as our selfworth grows. Having inner confidence allows those who oppose our views and try to take us down, have less impact than previously, especially when we stand up for truth.
‘We don’t describe pepople has having high self-worth….’. Yet it is interesting to note that when this is noticed such people are sometimes described as being above themselves, or need taking down a peg or two. Or is this a peculiarly British trait? It is as if bringing people down to the lowest common denominator allows others to feel content with where they are at, i.e. not shining.
“…inspired by the reflection of beauty, constancy, ancient timelessness, expansion and home that the night sky brings….” Yes, looking up at the night time sky has a re-callibrating ability to put things (stresses, concerns) into order, into perspective – reconnecting you to a sense of space and timelessness – to pull you up out of any clouded vision reconnecting you inwardly and expansion at the same time.
I remember feeling quite in awe of stars at night when I was a child, I loved it when we had to travel late and I would get to see the night sky.
I know very well the cycle of lack of self worth and then the choice to numb that feeling with food and the inevitable self critical thoughts.
‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ Lovely Anne, when we are connected we know that we are already everything that we need.
I love that you ask the question about babies having self-worth issues – it absolutely shows it is a learnt behaviour and one we should swiftly unlearn! Of equal inspiration is, of course, the stars who, regardless of what is reflected to them still shine brightly.
Yes, lack of self-worth is a creation not something that is innate in us. How can we truly place value on something as precious as a child, or the stars…it is nonsense of our own making.
Aye Lucy, no baby sits there and thinks “I am not worth having my nappy changed” or “Do I deserve a cuddle?” No, they feel and know and never question their worth. Claiming that we are worth the love that we are is beautiful.
Yes I do, it really got me to think about why I allow such critical thoughts of myself when a baby would never entertain low self worth.
Self-care certainly is a foundational step in one´s process of living and being the love that we are and as you say, the more we unfold on that path self-care needs to be refined and adjusted with every step along the way. As with everything regarding evolution, the principles remain consistent but the expression develops.
Love is a pristine brilliance, as opposed to lack of self worth which is a tarnished implosion. Love is real and lack of self worth is part of the illusion. It is for us to be the love that we are.
I can feel how when we appreciate all that we do in the flow of movement, this expands all that is great and diminishes all that is not us. We have so much support of the universe and the stars all around us when we ask for help, which brings us back to relying on our inner feeling again.
‘We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way.’ This feels very different from talking about self worth and self esteem. It is as if these terms have been used ‘to death’, bringing with them a trail of psychological and self help information that has dulled our senses.
It is very true that in our so-called modern societies self-worth is promoted as something that we can gain or achieve, but what if it is the case that our self-worth actually comes from how we are with ourselves on a deeply intimate and personal level. What if our self-worth lives in the tiniest choices that we each can make about how we move our bodies or what we allow ourselves to think or ingest. What if self-worth is a state of living that comes from a series of choices that are made so subtly and yet they have the most enormous amount of power – the power to confirm who you are.
To value our selves in full is probably one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.
I love the analogy of the stars. Simone Benhayon made a similar comment in a recent group in the U.K. To paraphrase – a star doesn’t shine or feel less because it’s not part of a big constellation. It is our responsibility to shine our light, for we are made of stardust.
‘We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.’ Not a truer has been spoken Anne. Our whole society and its education system is based on security; and the security forces that protect our countries enter into unspeakable acts of inhumanity. There is nothing wrong with security per se, but it is how one pictures that and acts on it that is the problem. The greatest security is in surrendering to evolve, to release pictures of security, to stop ‘controlling’ and know one’s own innermost beauty.
“We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.” so true and so important to claim for ourselves and regain our inner knowing love and shine like the bright stars we are from within.
“The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.” I only can agree Anne the Universe is a wonderful reflection and also very inspiring to help us to come back to the light we are all already are.
When we want to change ourselves to fit in, first of all appreciate deeply that we feel. We feel what is expected of us, in fact we are masters in clairesentience it is natural to us. In the patient process of re-correcting and re-imprinting our old patterns, for example, a sudden reaction to want to change myself apparent or subtle when I feel the slightest non-acceptance or unloving behavior from another, to starting to nominate that the behavior received is non-loving and how I feel about it rather than like auto-pilot drop straight to the thought of “I have done something wrong”. This gradual process is re-familiarizing my body to let go of this reaction and when there are the same non-loving behaviors expressed to me now, I am able to stay more steady. Sure I still feel how the behaviors are hurtful, but I do not straight away get smashed and think I have done something wrong and I am the only person who has done something wrong without seeing the equal responsibility of the other, instead I am able to observe in much more clarity what the true situation is about.
‘However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed’. How true Anne! We have to be able to feel that incredible value and magnificence of who we are no matter what eventuates because we are Sons of God even though we have made some mistakes.
Isn’t it interesting how hard it is to take responsibility for our actions sometimes because we find it so hard to move on from the judgement – our own judgement that is, in fact, far more harsh than we would get from others.
Lack of self worth has a very destructive effect on all aspects of our life as it is a fundamental belief about who we think we are. And when you consider that it’s a total mis-truth then this really is devastating.
I love your point about how a baby knows exactly what they want, who they are and without any hesitation will let you know this. Once we allow influence from outside of us things start to change.
We have to be the only species that plays down who we are. The trees, animal life, birds even the sparkle on a river, none attempt to hide there beauty ever. It’s not in their frame of reference at all and yet this is something that the majority of the human race do constantly. What does this say about the most intelligent (so we think) species on earth? Perhaps we are the one that have been fooled?
I agree Ariana. The world would change very quickly if we began to express the truth more, as opposed to what the majority are currently doing, which is to silently collaborate in a lie of gigantian proportions. In a nutshell that lie is to pretend that we don’t know that we are actually the consciousness of God. What’s quite ridiculous is that in order to support that lie and avoid taking responsibility for our atrocious behaviour, we carve out painful lives of immense suffering. We could pull the plug on the whole charade pretty quickly if we were to start expressing the truth at every opportunity.
I have gone from ‘dutiful to ‘rebel’ ..to now learning about practising Obedience to my own natural inner knowing.
The more I get to know myself the more obvious it becomes that lack of self-worth is not me but something I use when I feel I am doing really well, however silly that sounds. I use it when I stand out too much and sense having so much responsibility for showing the way. What supports though is feeling how important it is to shine and how everyone is looking for this reflection just like we love to look at the stars at night.
As parents we become disconnected from who we truly are and our beautiful essence and so do often not parent from this space. As we awaken to the truth it is never too late to live what we have reconnected to and reflect this to our children and all we interact with in life.
“To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.” And what a great excuse we have made it to be and a perfect reason to not take full responsibilty for ourselves and how we live.
Is it also possible that lack of self worth is a negative energy that we can bring with us when we reincarnate and it plays out as we grow up and therefore gives us another opportunity to clear it from our bodies?
When we entertain lack of self worth and self doubting thoughts, one ‘bad week’ where we feel down and out, lack vitality, feel stressed etc. can turn into a whole month, or more! When we notice our body feels dense or our week is becoming a cycle of tension, arguments and disharmony, we always have a choice to look at the underlying cause of this and make choices that aren’t a part of this configuration, or beat ourselves up.
Anne, this is really interesting and feels true; ‘Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned?’ What feels empowering about this is that lack of self worth is not natural to us and so just as we have learned to live with lack of self worth, we can learn to live once again with self worth as we did when we were young.
Seeing a 3 year old at a wedding recently dancing – alone on the floor – while the band were warming up, I could see how utterly free he was and enjoying every moment, totally unselfconscious. Not a selfworth issue in sight. And yet his sister, just two years older, was hanging back, longing to join him.
‘…I read a lot of books and watched movies where most of the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked. So, looking for redemption, I attempted to re-shape myself in their image.’ there are so many images portrayed in the media and popular culture that this becomes, for many, along with the experience from the parents and schooling determining factors in how the are guided to ‘grow up’ into adults. This entirely negates our true nature; the knowing inside of who we truly are and everything that we are in out being.
If we are like the stars why would we then feel anything less? A question for me to ponder deeply on today.
Quite simply I can feel the moments when we make our worth about doing things according to the world and people in it rather than knowing our self-worth for simply being us.
We get to know the depth and solidness our self-worth when we are challenged or even attacked, discriminated or denigrated by others – every challenge is a reflection and chance to forge our true connection with the innermost in the fires of transmutation.
Such a super blog with so much wisdom shared. Thankyou Anne.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” This is a great point. So what stops us feeling comfortable in our own skin? I would name millions of things, and every one of them involves not being true to the love and not honouring the awareness that I have within me.
‘Growing up in the fifties I read a lot of books and watched movies where most of the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked. So, looking for redemption, I attempted to re-shape myself in their image.’ And this still happens – just another shape to match the trends of the day.
I love this article, the inspiration, realness, opportunity to ask myself questions… and today’s one is, ‘Do I back myself up?’ Thank you, Anne.
Yes Matilda, I love this question too and very insightful.
Interesting Mathilda, I had the same, that questions popped up after reading this blog. I like your idea though to just take one question each day.
When I have low self worth it is me not wanting to take my rightful place among the stars and refusing to shine the bright light that I am in the world.
This is such a great question to ask
“What exactly do we mean when we say someone has low self-worth? Do we mean that they do not value themselves and their place in the world? That they place others as more important or worthy? And if we agree that this is so, does that imply that they do not feel they matter,”
I have watched someone struggle with low self worth and I have to say it seems to me that their self worth issues are more than this one life. That it is deeply ingrained in their personality which shows me the possibility of reincarnation. That the self-worth issues were not dealt with and cleared in the last life and so the energy that reincarnated has brought it into this life, and so it goes on until the self worth-issues or any other issues are cleared from the body.
We are the livingness of life itself, the fact that we believe that we have self worth issues is testament to how far we’ve strayed.
It is so true that by using responses from the world to gauge our own self-worth we are putting yourselves in a position of disempowerment, we are negating what is there inside already fine and full and needing of nothing other than to be confirmed.
Its a whole different ball game – on the one hand trying to live up to an ideal we see outside of ourselves (what I always call the cereal packet family becuase they always had these wonderful marketing images) which is lets face it both impossible and miserable…. OR….. living what we naturally feel, allowing us to be ourselves and therefore offering a connected person to the world in what ever shape that takes. Now that is something people can connect with and relate to.
Today I had an experience of not holding back despite the feeling that there would be a reaction from what I had to say from what I felt. Staying steady with this has felt very different and I could feel how this has built to support me in my next expression in the same way.
Once I saw that the self-worth guise was a destructive game I could not fall for that again – I could clearly see how enabling that role to sit in my body and be played out I was every bit as corrupt as the bully.
A beautiful reminder that we are constantly called on to be more and to not hold back from shining our light. Thanks Anne.
And because we are all constantly being called to be more and do not allow ourselves to be naturally pulled up, that just demonstrates how dedicated we are to staying put. Ridiculous when you consider that we can have it all and yet choose not to.
I remember the first doing a workshop with Chris James. Although I love music but I could not recall ever singing in tune, so I wanted to hide in the background somewhere. Yet the playful, loving open and inviting way Chris was with everyone and everything he was presenting, was infectious. There was no way I could stay separate and be judgmental of myself or anyone else. I looked around and everyone was beaming and expressing with such joy. There was nothing asked of us but to be ourselves with no apology or holding back.
This is a super example of how we could bring up our kids. Instead of encouraging them to seek attention and recognition as the proof of their worth, to confirm that they are already amazing and the world is richer because of them simply being and expressing who they are.
“Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world” is how we have become so lost Anne depending on comments and praise from others But there is always the connection to our inner selves there that we can go back to whenever we choose to return to it.
I remember learning once that confidence was something you achieved after being good at something or doing it for a while, but from my own discovery it is quite the opposite, confidence can come from stepping into the unknown also, but with Full knowing of oneself and being in the moment.
“being helpful, a ‘good girl,’ loving sister, grateful, appreciative, uncomplaining etc”
Yucky indeed Anne, its a game, a contract that we make, be it ‘good’ or ‘bad’ its all the same, a choice to play the system that surrounds us.
And everyone can feel the difference between the sugar coated ideal, and someone who is genuine in their care and love because it comes from deep inside.
What a beautiful analogy with our self worth , the stars and the universe always shining brightly no matter what I love it . You bring a brilliant clarity to how we are born and the choice we have to live this from our bodies shining and knowing who we are to hiding our light and the comfort of this that does not feel nice underneath at all because it is never our true potential that is growing every day. An inspiring blog and admiration for the stars and all of us .
An inspirational blog Anne. I love your sharing of your own experiences some, of which I can relate to .
I seriously lacked confidence in my teens and was confused at the behaviours of some of my friends but looking back can see we were all confused at what life was all about and our own part in it.
Low self worth is not only about ourselves and people. It is about life, the universe, the stars. It is a pattern of movement that is uncapable/unwilling to connect to anything that is grand and of saying yes to it.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it” . . . there is nothing as beautiful as feeling comfortable in our on skin and there is nothing more beautiful as a a woman that is comfortable in her own skin, not matter what their physical appearance or age might be.
I loved this part of your blog, Anne: “The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.” I have a huge smile on my face imagining the stars saying, “I do not feel worthy enough to shine today”! It is nonsensical isn’t it?And yet we, who have 45,000 stars (called nadis -energy centres) within us, can say we are not worthy, especially (as you say) when we are faced with a challenge -this is what can get me…but what has really supported me to come back from that place of low self-worth is to remember that we are never given more than we can handle.
“Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world” – such is the horror of identification [through eg job, title, position, profession, salary, social standing…] and the illness that happens as a result of getting whipped up through wanting such measurement.
‘ People like Natalie Benhayon, whose love for humanity is so great that she simply and playfully shines a light on The Way, works tirelessly but joyfully to inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire, their true worth and to shine forth too.’Yes, beautiful Anne. I would love to add that Miranda Benhayon’s latest CD ‘Debut’ also very powerfully shines a light on the way – the particular song that sprang to mind was ‘Power Couple’ in which true, glorious and powerful Love and our true purpose in the world is sung to ring throughout the world and the heavens.
So beautifully described, we are born knowing our self worth but separate from this sense of self when we are not met with the love that we are.
“So where does this attitude of self-critique and sense of worthiness come from? Are we born with it? Have we ever looked a a baby and thought “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues?….Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth and that lack of self-worth is learned?” Love this Anne it puts those lack of self-worth issues we hold onto into the true perspective of how utterly ridiculous they really are by buying into the need to fit in with what we think is expected of us and not remaining true to ourselves. When we look up at the beauty of the stars in the night sky we are reminded of the grandness we are all equally apart of and that we too can choose to shine by simply accepting ourself as we are.
Out perception is key around self worth – how much are we influenced by our mind or thoughts and others people’s comments etc? When all we need to do is to listen to the one true feeling that lies within us.
Anne thank you for this beautiful delivery. And if I may say this paragraph is hilarious as it exposes how we play a game with ourselves rather than tune into what is truly there for us to be with: “So where does this attitude of self-critique and sense of unworthiness come from? Are we born with it? Have we ever looked at a baby and thought, “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” I certainly have not. A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms, and doesn’t seem to ask “Am I worth it?” They innately know that it is not even a question that needs to be considered.”
It is very cool and clarifying to admit that we are not born with self-worth issues, that it is not natural to have them. We can then review when we picked them up and how to dispense with them.
We have been blessed to have the reflection of Serge and Natalie Benhayon that reminds us of our true nature, that which is in perfect sync with the universe with no individuality just the livingness of our soul.
Having read this it is well worth pondering how we are with children – do we support them in their innate knowing and expression or force them to be something else?
Lack of self-worth has been a painful aspect of my growing up and it is astonishing that it is a learned behaviour “which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive”!
It appears what we are calling self-worth is not self-worth at all. We are learning to ignore our innate certainty of our worth and instead seeking ‘recognition’ and making that the ‘new measure’ of worth. A very very poor substitute which even at its best will leave us feeling empty and forever craving more.
‘I remember at one time, when I was about nine or ten, deciding that I was going to change my attitude and become ‘acceptable.’’ I remember being told to never speak about money, politics or religion and I will always be like. This used to make me furious as I would think, why do I have to be liked?? The truth is when you are full of your own love it’s no biggie if someone doesn’t like you. life isn’t about pleasing people, yet, when we doubt ourselves and hold ourselves less we crave any form of recognition and confirmation we can get – instead of just seeing what we have aligned to as not being our true nature.
Amazing, to consider that our love reaches as far as the stars, and it simply not be words but something lived – awesome. The fact is there is more to life that what we see, and our thought, beliefs, patterns, behaviours and momentums can all be studied and traced back to the energy we carry in our bodies.
‘Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world.’ Our true worth we can never measure as it is always expanding.
What is this self that we consider is worth or not worth something and what is it that it is worth or not worth?
How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? I had to re-read your sentence a few times Nicola to really get it with all the worths in it and then I felt a similar question come to me: How much Worth could a woman hold if she allowed herself the blessing of tuning into the worth she is from the day she was born? The answer is endless for this grows and deepens constantly from the day we are born and it is simply for us to accept this and develop a relationship with this.
I can so feel the universality of your words Nicola, as you ask that question. As I asked myself ‘What is that self that I consider is worth?’ my whole being expanded into a richness and beauty that exceeded the bounds of earth. Thank you!
‘the stars are a constant reminder that we are, in essence, forever part of the infinite, expanding and eternal grandness that is our universe’ – because we have free will, the choice is always there for us to feel the truth of who we are, or everything that we are not.
‘As humans we are not constrained by the limitations of species specific instincts, but hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul that, in one form or another, forever beckons us to ask questions, to seek justice for all, equality, brotherhood’ – beautifully said, Anne. Heavenly words reminding us all of who we truly are.
There comes a moment when regaining or reclaiming self-worth is no longer for self but for what needs to be done and expressed for everyone; that´s when the universe kicks in.
Yes Alex, the re-claiming of our self-worth is a valuable and necessary stepping stone, without which we can never cross over the turbulent waters of creation to become true servants of The Hierarchy on earth.
It is so very loving when we back ourselves, when we hold and carry ourselves knowing who we are and the qualities we uniquely bring that no other can, thus we each have our part to play on the grand stage called life.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” It would be an interesting exercise for any one of us to clock how many times a day we actually do feel comfortable in our own skin, or not.
“… just an excuse to bring myself down a peg, and then give-up and take solace in checking out by watching TV or overeating, or surfing the net and countless other distractions” I wonder then by reading this and recognising my own behaviour in there too, do we have more of an issue with flow, success, grandness and glory than we do with failure and giving up?
Great question Rowena, and something most definitely to ponder on: do we have more of an issue with flow, success, grandness and glory than we do with failure and giving up?
I agree, Rowena, I have also been questioning how I can find it easier to feel everything I am not versus the divinity of who I am ….
Great point Rowena, I have certainly created a problem or two to avoid feeling the gloriousness that I am.
The reasoning behind any of the self critical talk or self abusive behaviours for that matter, are “ridiculous” as you say Anne. We are very well versed in them but so too have you exposed that there is no place for them and that it is entirely natural to feel amazing in our own skin.
Anne you describe so well what happens when we have self worth issues, how we let go of things that we would normally do as part of looking after ourselves, and that grumpyness and self criticism raises it’s head seemingly from nowhere. We loose sight of the bigger picture and what life is about, and make it about ourselves and it feels like the world closes in on us.. Looking at the stars is a great way to see the bigger picture and takes out individuality. The stars never shine for themselves they shine for everyone and they know their true purpose.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Ditto and this is something that for me is priceless, no matter what we have in life if we have our connection to truth we have everything. I used to strive to be more than I was because I never felt comfortable in my own skin, I feel deeply blessed to have that connection.
“… when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it. I look after myself….” and the looking after ourselves feedback, confirms and deepens the value and relationship we are developing with ourselves… it is a perpetual movement.
Anne when you said about a baby not having lack of self-worth .. and even the stars, it could also be a flower too… it makes it completely absurd to think as human beings that we can have lack of self-worth really… and yes, that it is something introduced to us through a thought from a belief, and a thought/belief that moves our body to seep into our communication and cause a ‘gap’. When i feel truly connected to myself, to nature, flow, harmony, there is no [room for] lack or this ‘gap’ sense because instead there is fullness of connection – as nature and the night skies show and reflect.
True Self Worth feels like it’s innate but it becomes something tangible to me when I’m in a flow with the day. It’s like its inescapably obvious that my body is part of something much bigger. Things arrive I could never have expected, knowings surface just as they are needed, what I say is wise in a way that teaches me plenty. Then it’s clear I am an equal part of this stunning universe you describe Anne, in a way that’s beyond doubt. The more I confirm this connection the more I can see – just like the stars you mention, the longer you look the grander and more profound the scene seems to be.
You make it so clear that we let go of our connection to our precious essence in a calculated attempt to ‘be acceptable’ and accepted by others. Recognition is a poor substitute for self worth just like sugar is a poor substitute for vitality. Both ‘solutions’ keep us hooked and hungry for more.
It is so simple! We value ourselves, know the truth of our being, and everything else in life, including the way we are with others, the state of the kitchen, the way we dress, all falls into loving place.
Beautiful blog Anne and yes, very relatable.
I am in the process of packing up and moving house, and though i am quite organised and orderly, the very act of moving stuff around, sorting through things and deciding what to discard and what to keep, means there is a bit of disorder. I have noticed that while I am doing this there is also a similar process going on within myself. Every now and then I feel quite vulnerable with lots of feelings being exposed. It may be that I have taken the lid off a box or opened a cupboard and removed the contents for inspection, remembering what those things meant for me and this has exposed anywhere my worth has been lacking. It is also a joyful process. As each cupboard is cleared I feel that clearness and spaciousness in me, more room for the starry light to up the ante on volume.
That’s the thing when we’re in our own skins, just being ourselves we get on with it, there is no self worth issues, so you’re correct Anne, we manufacture those, in a deliberate way to be less than who we are. For we are part of the stars, the matter in us is, and when we consider and look out at the expansiveness of the sky we cannot but feel the vastness from which we come, and that this is inside of us ready and waiting to be expressed.
Lack of self worth is a big issue and holds many from bringing all they are to the world. If every person lived knowing they have everything they need with in them, all ‘need’ disappear and true equality becomes our natural way.
All too often we get caught up by the dramas of life and forget all about our real home and heritage, this ginormous and awesomely beautiful Universe that we are literally hanging out in!
So true Rowena and its there to mirror our potential here on earth, as it is above, so it is to be below.
Perhaps rather than holding on to the often unreconciled hurt that we are not invited to shine by our peers, our families and communities unconditionally and fully, we can simply choose to look above to our celestial brothers. We are in fact here to on earth to glisten and sparkle with the all that we are, just like them in the skies above. There ought to be no difference.
Amazing blog Anne and I can so much relate to some of your sharings. Yes when we feel comfortable in our skin it is natural to be dedicated to our selves, to care for ourselves and to take this cared being to the world!
I walk away today wondering what would happen if the stars in the sky only shone if they got attention from someone. The consistency and the brightness of their reflection is inspiring and yes, Natalie is unwavering in her commitment to supporting others to re-awaken that commitment in themselves by shinning a constant reflection. No holding back, no boxes, no turning the light down, it does a disservice to the Universe as all our lights are needed at this time to remind us of the divinity we are from.
It is hugely significant that none of us have ever thought “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” They very clearly show us just as do the stars, that our innate essence is to be open and alert, and to shine and express all that we are. No holding back.
‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ – this is a great point Anne. Is it possible that we use and are comfortable with lack of self-worth as a form of delay from doing what we need to do on this planet?
“We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential” – One of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves all the time is ‘what’s the purpose, and what are we doing here?’, not as a criticism but to actually see that everything we do has a ripple effect and can bring about change, inspiration, love, joy and vitality.
“I remember at one time, when I was about nine or ten, deciding that I was going to change my attitude and become ‘acceptable.’” how crazy is it that we end up doing this, I thought I was the only one that changed myself to be “acceptable” and to fit in, yet what comes across is how this is common. Why have we not stopped and asked ourselves, “does it really need to be this way?” the stars don’t change for anyone so why do we stop shining out truth?
I have found that whenever I work on something and feel like I am mastering something I realise I have only just started to scratch the surface! Yes I have worked on self-worth however in working on it I am realising the extent to which the lack of it has impinged on my life – a bit of a shocker. As mentioned above, however, this is learned and we learn it so well that we almost totally forget that once we were full to the brim with it and didn’t have to try – it was just there!
I love the title of this blog, placing self worth, the stars and the universe together pretty much sums up our part in life.
“The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.” How different would the world be if we were all to shine brightly, and consistently so – because that is our true nature!
This is beautiful Anne I love the part ” courage to step out of the comfort and risk expanding into a larger version of ourselves ” We are hear therefore we are part of the universe ,” there is nothing that is not in the all ” as a wise person said one time.
I like this part too John about accepting more of who we are.
I wonder how much the so-called imperfections of life are so very necessary in order that we question things. When things go ‘wrong’, we are offered the opportunity to question what has happened…and maybe to look at ourselves and how we are living. Perhaps the imperfection of this life are part of its perfection.
Indeed Richardmills, when we bring understanding and acceptance to messing up, we are then open to seeing it as an opportunity to grow and continue on.
If just one star suddenly got a self worth issue and decided it wasn’t worth shining, the entire map of the universe would be slightly out, those who rely on it for guiding their way and setting their course would be unable to do so, because no matter how small, each star plays a part in the vast grandness that is the universe and by reflection so to do we.
Great example Rebecca, it’s ridiculous even saying a star would decide not to shine… that’s like saying a tree decides not to stand tall and instead slouch over and hide. Yet, this is what we do all of the time and don’t flutter an eyelid about it. It really puts it all into perspective especially when we are all part of the universe.
I agree, and even at the end of a stars life when it collapses in, it is simply a stage in its process before it is reborn a new – when we are faced with challenges or struggles or life seems to be changing, if we hold on to who we are and what is true we might find ourselves on the other side greater than before.
We are the gloriousness of the Universe and yet pretend to be mediocrity.
Love it Rebecca 🌟🌟
I have found that self work can often mask itself in expectations – never being enough or constantly striving for more. Either way not being true to what is naturally our way to be with levels of ever increasing perfection.
It’s great how a challenge, and what is revealed by that, can show us what is next. It’s not necessarily going to be comfortable but well worth going with, when we consider we are, as you say Anne, “forever part of the infinite, expanding and eternal grandness that is our universe.”
How my home feels is a great reflection of how I have been living, as soon as I loose focus in caring for myself, I seem to loose focus for caring for home and considering others.
Everything is connected. One always affects the other no matter which part of our lives or selves we are speaking about. And this also works the other way. If I for example decide to deepen my care and relationship with myself and one person then all of my relationships and interactions will be called to be st that depth.
Lack of self-worth is feed to us and we choose to take it on because we can use it as an excuse to not take responsibility for the service we’re here to do.
Absolutely. Yet sometimes things such as self doubt, anxiety, responding with frustration can become something that is used so often that it appears normal and we can believe that that is who we are. How does a world caught in living the untruth of who they are know such ? – through the reflection and movement of others who show another way.
This goes to show just how damaging and harmful seeking recognition and acceptance really are that will begin to undermine our knowledge of who we are and all that we bring.
If we let go of all the things in this world that impose, undermine etc then our natural powerful beauty and glory is there.
Sometimes is just takes one hurtful comment or one word of critique to make us shrink in remembrance of the days when we were scolded as children. I experienced this recently and was surprised to find my natural confidence and radiance disappearing, and I felt like I used to feel when I was a teenager struggling with the world. It’s so easy to think there is something wrong with us and slip into believing the critique. It feels horrible. It’s so important to claim ourselves as we are. And to keep claiming it, so we build a foundation that is solid and can’t be rocked.
This is a great observation thanks for sharing Rebecca.
I totally agree and the moment we slip into that feeling it becomes very easy to make unloving choices.
”The stars do shine bright because it is their nature’ they are an amazing reflection of how we can also equally shine bright. Measuring, calibrating and compromising to fit in nudges us off course. We do no one a service by hiding our light.
And just as the stars shine bright naturally so, so do we. Every baby is born with that light there ready to go.
I agree Samantha, the stars do not question, doubt or hold back, they simply are unapologetic in their shining as we should all be
Your blog has given me much to ponder Anne. Appreciation is one of the biggest keys to health and wellbeing, and i am not referring to what we have done or achieved but to the innate qualities that we each bring. Indeed it was not until i began using an app called “Our Cycles” to track my menstrual cycle that i realised there is a whole deeper level of natural qualities to appreciate in ourselves and in others that we rarely express or nominate.
I believe that as we grow from babies to children we absorb the feelings we pick up from the adults around us firstly our parents and siblings then school. And I have been around enough parents with their children to watch how as parents we undermine our children all the time, we do not seem to appreciate the sensitivity of children or of ourselves. In fact I have seen some parents try to harden their children so they can cope with school and the pressures they will face there. When we take a look at what is going on in society has this way of living been successful? Have we raised a generation of bright, confident well adjusted children?
This is a great exposure of all we can get caught in, like hamsters in a wheel, which is all false and total illusion of what life is. You are spot on Anne, we know there is no plateauing, we are constantly being pulled and called to be more.
Low self-worth is a construction of a spirit which has said no to the divine (reducing the being to merely human) and who live and judge life based exclusively on the point of view of humans. And that is the interesting part. When someone with low self worth place others above him/her it is still the human point of view operating there (so what is at the basis of that judgement? And how do we know that it is not just images?) . Never the divine. Reducing us to exclusively human traps us in a labyrinth that seems not to have escape. It is all a construction though.
There is this wonderfully ridiculous phrase ‘high self worth’ – it beautifully parodies its alter ego ‘low self worth’ in that these people are simply, gorgeously and beautifully just being themselves and don’t allow anything less.
Self, self, self, I know that game well Ariana, a game I am no longer playing , although sometimes if I drop my energy levels, the self game is playing again.
We are constantly called to more. Oh yes I am hearing that call…..
“We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.” I love this line Anne and how you later describe the stars, when we look at the stars we cannot possibly deny that we are part of something infinitely grander, and you are correct in saying we are not here to live safe comfortable lives, but to discover and unfold who we are and our own grandness.
I find that a dose of self-appreciation, looking at how I’m doing in the big picture, is an antidote for the self-worth issues that inevitably arrive from time to time…or should I say that I let arise.
When our inner light is burning bright, there is nothing that is unknown to hold us back in whatever it is we are here to do!
How true it is that low self- worth is something we create and bring into our lives and is not innate to our natural expression – it therefore stands to reason that this is an issue we may heal and let go of.
“The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.” What a beautiful and timely reminder Anne, thank you.
Low self-esteem – denying oneself, one´s unique expression and power, withholding oneself from contributing to the all: As much as one may understand the emotional inner conflict of low self-esteem and the need to heal the causes it nevertheless is a selfish self-absorbed behaviour holding others for ransom, a power game whereby one appears to be weak but actually is in charge.
‘The other night I stepped outside to drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament,’ the Milky Way constellation that we are blessed with in the Southern Hemisphere night sky. I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty, constancy, ancient timelessness, expansion and home that the night sky brings.’ – there is so much divinity around us, reminding us of who we truly are, but it’s always our choice to accept and appreciate this truth, or to hide away, dim our light, blind ourselves with stories as to why we’re not enough. Yet, the truth is always, the truth, however long it takes us to claim it.
As our way of living has a lot to do with self-worth or lack off, then feeling our connection to the constellations definitely brings a focus to our “Soul” . So when we also have appreciation this must also find its way into the way we live then our movements will confirm and consolidate a forever deepening level of accepting who we are as a “Soul”.
Sometimes I get into a vicious cycle of self abuse where I exhaust myself and crave sugary foods and if I eat sugary foods, that makes me feel tired and depressed, because I’m feeling depressed I give my power away and feel worthless and that exhausts me even more and so it goes on. It is a very successful way of avoiding just about everything, especially valuing who I truly am.
A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms, and doesn’t seem to ask “Am I worth it?” This is absolutely true Anne and I see this everyday at work. They are so open and present with their world and every part of them just sparkles with the light that they are.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it” – yes, because when there is definiteness in the body, there is no compromise on what is so certain.
Low self-worth is absolutely learned, passed from one person to the next with judgement, jealousy or anything else directed towards one another that isn’t loving.
“Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world.” And so we gamble our worth on what other people think of us, whether they truly know who we are or not, which makes for a very erratic and unstable existence. There can be no better education in this world than teaching people how to claim our worth based on our inherent values, qualities and natural talents and build a strong foundation from which to engage with and serve one another.
It is clearly not worth having lack of self-worth
Love it Anne, the way you write your frank accounts of your choices and exploration into self worth. It was such an enormous revelation the day I realised that there was actually nothing wrong with me, nothing whatsoever. It changed my life and the way I viewed myself practically over night. Since then I have slipped into old patterns of feeling that perhaps I’m not quite up to scratch but I know this not to be true and when I bring it back to moving with and from the body these negative thoughts have no place.
“However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed. Do I back myself up or am I so timid that at the first hint of criticism I withdraw back into my shell? ” I can relate to this especially growing up and while I was at school. This then set a pattern that I would go revert to when things weren’t quite going my way.
Beautiful Anne, ‘We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential’, it’s great to be reminded of our true purpose on earth – to learn and evolve.
Its a great reminder Rebecca, to keep going for it, expanding, reaching out for every opportunity that brings us closer to God in this life…. arms outstretched!
You share some really important points here, especially considering how rife lack of self worth is in most people, though we may not recognise it. Most people would not question who they are and how they live and where they got their behaviours from, but you raise the important question that is it possible they are learnt behaviours to make us able to fit in and be accepted rather than simply being ourselves?
I’ve noticed that ‘lack of self worth’ is simply a way to keep myself in the comfort of not having to take responsibility for all that I have been given. Now, when I can catch those thoughts or perhaps behaviours that have mutated the very way I move, I can call them out knowing the trick that is being played, and know I have instead an opportunity to deepen my relationship with myself rather than choose to denigrate.
We can become so use to the lack of self worth and negative self depreciating way of behaving, we miss all the signs of support all have around us in the world. But these things don’t stop, the constellations remain there, the signs from nature still reflect there when we take one step to turn around and see them.
Natalie Benhayon is so strong, she has a way of fully engaging with life without allowing it to drain her.
Yes, along with all the other Benhayons and many students of The Way of The Livingness. I feel so fortunate to be surrounded by so many truly inspirational people.
There’s a lot of things that can be complicated in life, go wrong, become an issue or an argument with another, but when you feel that immense divine connection with the stars or within a relationship, none of these have any power, and perhaps these ‘full’ or divine moments can be lived 24/7 and not just momentarily.
The wisdom of the Universe pours through as I read this blog Anne. Thank you for reflecting the beauty, ancient wisdom and timelessness that we are all a part of.
I would agree that a lack of self-worth is learned and is not an innate response to life. When little there is an all knowingness and a contentment with ourselves, until we end up not being confirmed in what we know we begin the slippery slide of self doubt, and then lack of worth kicks in.
This blog puts things into perspective and reminds me to go out now and again and connect with the sky at night or the early hours of the morning and ‘drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament’.
How true – seeing our place in the magnificence of the Universe is deeply important and healing.
Yes indeed, Anne. Living by a set of unattainable ideals is unsustainable and utterly exhausting. Thank heavens for Universal Medicine and the continual support to accept and celebrate ourselves in our true nature, and not what we think society demands of us.
A great sharing Anne on self worth issues, and one I can relate to, I first read these words ” It takes courage to step out of comfort and risk expanding into a larger version of ourselves. ” and then felt sad, but then latter on I read “The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.”it is a known.
I find that the more I truly value who I am in my essence then the more I become aware of the things that I choose to do or ways or expressing that are not in line with this quality and so there is still a discarding process going on but one that is coming from a foundation of knowing my worth rather than thinking that I need to fix something to then be worthwhile…
So little is the appreciation of who we truly are that as you say, our self-worth is built on recognition from outside.
It’s actually a terrible feeling when your in the pit of your own self created misery. But at the same time there is something that we are attempting to get out of it. Recognition, acceptance, making it all about ourselves. It does take time and lots of tender love and care to re-build our true self-worth, from the inside by ever so gradually letting go of all the things on the outside that we hold ourselves up to.
“So where does this attitude of self-critique and sense of unworthiness come from?” A question that I used to ask myself often as the voice that criticised me often, although coming from me, didn’t seem to be mine. And no, I certainly wasn’t born with this inner critic – you only have to observe a baby to know that – so therefore this self-criticism must have been learned by listening to and absorbing similar sentiments from those around me who obviously had their own inner critic voicing its deprecating words; and so the cycle was perpetuated.
Yes Anne, I can relate in full to this beautiful description of the nights sky. An ancient connection known by all.
“I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty, constancy, ancient timelessness, expansion and home that the night sky brings”.
“We are constantly called to more.” this morning as walking I saw the most perfect crescent moon, it is one of my favourite moons, something about it takes my breath a way in appreciation and awe, venus was to the left and just above it, how magical that we are so easily confirmed in our constellation and movement under the stars of the vastness of the universe, the absolute magnificence of the universe. We are more than we can even imagine.
Anne this is so gorgeous and I love your reference to the stars and how they don’t have a day off shining because they have a purpose. And I can feel that when I have a down day, then I am choosing to be in that instead of seeing what is needed for the day and really appreciating where I am at. We are all part of a much bigger purpose and picture, and self worth keeps it personal, when really there is so much more.
“The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.” what a powerful point for us all to consider, if we choose to be like the stars then our society would dramatically shift overnight. I love connecting to the magic of the universe and the more I live in connection with the universe the more I see and appreciate.
I remember on a trip to New Zealand up in the Coromandel seeing the Milky Way in all its glory and I mean all its glory, absolutely zero light pollution and I hadn’t see it like this since I was a kid and even then I can only remember being it like this a few times, the whole sky magically lit by stars. I remember thinking how we were so insignificant to all that glory but now realise we are all part of that glory.
I would have to say that lack of self-worth can run so deeply that we stop becoming aware of it, and worse still, actually stop clocking abuse as abuse. In my own case and as a woman I have allowed it without batting an eyelid. Now I have developed in self-worth it has been interesting turning over some stones to truly see what is lurking beneath exposing exactly I have been saying yes to.
Self worth is what we are within being solid and steady despite what is happening on the external of us. When we catch ourselves in a moment of lack of self-worth all we have to do is to acknowledge it, to be clear that that is not our natural self. Acknowledging this truly does not bring in a feeling of guilt or punishment, as there is no need to critique what is not from our truth to begin with. It is through this deep beholding of ourselves, we then get to see why we have allowed in a lack of self-worth to control us.
‘no two children in the same family will respond in the same way to the same circumstances. One child may be naturally confident whilst their sibling nurses hurts (perceived or real) for a long time.’ – I love that you raise this point, Anne. Having experienced this within my own family, your comment reminds me that we all come into this life with a lot of past history, and the importance of allowing understanding for where everyone is at, appreciating that we can never presume to ‘know’ why people struggle with certain aspects of their lives, or react to certain situations. All we can do is offer our love and support to help them with their learning.
‘As children we develop our awareness of the external world and learn what is acceptable to others and what is not. We learn the social norms and standards of our specific culture from the outside in and are rewarded for some achievements and behaviours and punished for others.’ …. and so the ‘conditioning’ begins. We start to dis-connect from our innate knowing in place of our ‘perceived need’ to fit in, be accepted, liked, recognised and rewarded. We trade in living the truth of who we are, to become a puppet for whatever energy flows through us, to our own detriment and that of everyone else.
“… because as science has presented, we are made of the same particles… The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine…” Looking at the night time constellations is a wonderfull way of pulling oneself up and out of any lack of self worth one may be entertaining with.
“Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned?” — I know for myself [pre Universal Medicine] that self-worth was something i’d acquired or picked up, was an acquisition through my job/career/profession, salary i made and the (social and professional) standing in life i managed to create for myself, or, would [one day] marry into… not for a moment did i consider that self-worth is innate, something inbuilt, a true bodily wellbeing that keeps a person steady, poised and naturally self-confident [and hence less in comparison, competition] — and the quality I found to be re-connected to, is stillness and through that, sacredness. Without feeling and living with these two innate bodily-felt qualities, self-worth is always an outward struggle to attain where we never feel quite good enough as a result and suffer ‘lack’ as a result because of what we perceive we ‘don’t have’ or ‘haven’t acquired’. Exhausting.
Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? This is an awesome point Anne… we are indeed born without self-worth issues – it is our choice to create them – how crazy is that?!
I love the way that you have made the point that the stars are the reference point for man in so many activities Anne. The stars are most definitely and at a very deep level that reference point that us continually communicating to us the wisdom we need to come back to our true north, to who we truly are.
Absolutely Lyndy, in ages gone by the stars have always been a strong reflection of our divinity and purpose, yet today it seems humanities references are more earthbound, understanding & embodying that our true might is as galactic as the stars is a lived way not a momentary reminder.
All around us nature reflects the magnificence it is without a need to ask itself how it is doing. It just is. When I am in the flow of being me life is simple, people magnificent and no questions exist of how am I doing? Better than yesterday?! Life isn’t coming from a mental analysis but a connection with the all.
Pretty much everyone lives a very reduced version of themselves, but this is considered normal as are self worth issues. We have such few reflections of the true grandness we are, reflections that show us we are not our issues or the way we live, but part of the magnificence of the Universe. Serge and Natalie Benhayon are two people who reflect something greater than how we currently see ourselves and live human life, and for me that reflection has allowed me to clearly see more of who I truly am, and challenge things I have seen as normal like low self worth, and live connected to love instead.
It’s a very big ouch when we admit that low self worth is our own indulgence to not live all the love we our.
Anne, what a beautiful blog chronicling your stepping up and being your beautiful self.
Anne I love love love your blog, I love your honesty, your openess, your realness and on top of all of that what you are sharing. Self-worth I feel is an issue many of us scratch our heads trying to figure out exactly just what it is … how do we get it … when did we loose it and I feel you sum everything up so beautifully here. ‘Have we ever looked at a baby and thought, “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” I certainly have not.’ Not only that you are so right we don’t look at someone and say ‘oooh they have high self worth!’. So how are we born being perfect as we are and accepting of ourselves to later along the path have this plummet? Comparison to others, competition against others (schools seem to be encouraging this more and more), reactions from others, reactions we have to others, judgements or expectations or ourselves or from others the list could go on and on and on. But here is the beauty in what you have shared when we look up at the stars we cannot but know we are part of something so beautifull, and that this beauty and light is equal and held within us all and that all those niggly thoughts or mundane things or even feeling of lack of self worth no longer have a hold over us. Living in a town (London) I do not get to see such beauty in the sky every night, apart from when there is a full moon, but yes the stars are a true blessing shining to us reminding us there is more and we are part of something far grander than what we are currently living. And yes Natalie Benhayon is such a shining star lighting the way for all and reflecting that we are all equal.
‘We are not here to live mundane lives’ this is so true and yet almost everyone I know lives only a tiny percentage of the grandness they are. Imagine what the world would be like if we lived in full who we were on mass!!!
Or even if a small percentage did so or even if a larger percentage lived more of who they are, bringing others along as now there would be a lot more role models.
Laying a foundation of care for ourselves sounds simple and most would think they tick the box. But it’s the connection to the quality of the care that makes a difference as to depth it goes in supporting our-self worth. Ticking boxes is 2 dimensional, connecting to ourselves with a choice of conscious presence and commitment deepens and expands until we feel the sparkle in the starts equals the sparkle with in.
“And that all learned behaviour serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive?” Really interesting question. I currently can’t think of a behaviour I’ve taken on that doesn’t make it easier to survive. An observer might say that’s not true in that the changes I have made to my life and therefore the way I predominantly behave is so different to how it used to be when I really didn’t care about myself very much and did anything to fit in. But the way I behave now is not through learned behaviours, and most certainly not to survive. It’s come about through unlearning the learned ways of being and returning to may natural qualities and expression which have been buried beneath the former like a bottomless pot of gold beneath an avaricious dragon.
We use lack of self worth as an excuse to not bring all of us to the world. This serves noone, least of all ourselves.
It is such a blessing to read a blog written in deep appreciation. Appreciation is foundational in our growth and evolution.
‘As children grow and learn to negotiate life with others, we see different behaviours – no two children in the same family will respond in the same way to the same circumstances. One child may be naturally confident whilst their sibling nurses hurts (perceived or real) for a long time. They may try different ways of getting love and attention and feeling good about themselves in ways specific to them.’ The consciousness we subscribe to firmly believes that children are empty vessels and that they are born this way and it is up to us as adults to instil in them everything we want to see come out of them. However, this observation puts paid to this notion as we can see that everyone is unique and comes into life with a momentum of behaviours and responses/reactions that are not clear. As such is it worth asking why. Is it possible that our behaviours and choices stem from a momentum of having chosen to align with a particular energy in previous incarnations? Is it possible that reincarnation is, in fact, a fact and that we have had many lives but that we keep returning to life here in order to clear those patterns with the far greater purpose of returning to soul?
You say this with such normalcy Anne… “We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.” and yet the majority have settled for a ‘safe, comfortable life’. In truth we all have a deep unsettlement in us however because we know that what you say is absolutely true and that we are living far from this glorious place. Not living who we are is a lack of self worth already.
What you shared here, ‘no two children in the same family will respond in the same way to the same circumstances.’ this is so true. I have observed this in my family and it is so interesting how we respond to others or certain circumstances varies depending on our relationship with ourselves and our connection to who we are. We can either swim in our hurts for example and react, or we can simply observe and not absorb, choose to understand the circumstance with openness and love.
My self worth plummets when I feel I’m not ‘doing’ anything useful, for example, in supporting a sick friend recently, I felt unable to help, but when I appreciate that my simply being there was all the support that was required, especially if I was able to stay present and not go into sympathy or pander to them.
Just being there for someone and feeling held is true support which the other feels, it can be that simple.
Lovely description of being held by the night sky and feeling the connection through your particles. So important to align to our ability to shine in this time of darkness for many and relinquish any self-worth issues that get in the way of this.
We can create a lot of complication in our lives by trying to live up to an ideal or picture we think we need to fit, rather than valuing who we innately are and unfolding our expression from the inside out!
I am aware of the constant pull to be more and not allow the self doubts to creep in. It was a pattern but I now know it is a game played to stay small. I know I am light inside, as we all are, and we have a path to unfold into our ever-expanding potential of who we truly are.
It is a great point, Anne, about babies not being born feeling unworthy or undeserving of the utmost care. If we have internalised a false belief about ourselves in the process of growing up, it is never too late to let it go.
So true Janet, if we have created it we have the power to choose again.
Is it any wonder that we lose our self-worth when we learn to constantly measure ourselves against things outside of us however being able to reconnect to the same essence of who we are that we are born with naturally reinstalls that self-worth as we feel all that we are first before we go out into the world.
On one hand we only can have a lack of self-worth when we are ‘self-conscious’ but then it is being self-conscious that allows us to have self-worth as I can only value what I know and am aware of.
“Is it any wonder that being the real me felt like an unknown exotic foreign land, and life was extremely unsettling?” Indeed Anne no wonder life becomes a struggle when we choose to leave what feels true & natural for a picture, a construct outside of ourselves. The world has stopped valuing the innate qualities that people bring and instead heralds all that we achieve and do as the pinnacle of our success. Today we have a responsibility to self-care, self-appreciate, to consistently stoke the deep well of worth that lies within – a whole body glove of confidence.
I like that you say it is our responsibility to self-care and self-appreciate, because you are right – the world certainly isn’t geared up to do it for us!
What I notice when I hit a slump is how it is a pattern I have repeated many times before, it shows to me the value of seeing our life in cycles, how we are always coming back around to the same point. If it feels deja vu or similar in anyway then the pattern is still imprinted and if we don’t like it we need to make moves to change how we are, to essentially move with more care for self if self worth is the issue and break the cycle which is leaving us trapped.
” Is it any wonder that being the real me felt like an unknown exotic foreign land, and life was extremely unsettling?” without a doubt that is what I felt like, I did not know myself and the more I got to know the true me the more I realised I had not been living even close to who I am.
Self worth for me means constantly viewing myself and feeling in my body and my movements that I am a son of God meaning that I am a spark or star in the universe that is equal to everything else and everyone else and am a vital part of the whole picture of life, meaning that everything I do, say and think matters. I am a vital part of the whole.
Exactly and if we see ourselves as Divine and equal to all others, then by rejecting ourselves we are rejecting God and all others.
How painful it is to try to fit in to the world by becoming ‘acceptable’. It is the perfect way to say to ourselves that we are not good enough as we are. We don’t need to become anything. We already are beautiful divine beings who have a great deal to bring and to give. Living knowing this and living with integrity is all that we need.
Here, here. A call that needs to be answered and repeated again and again.
Since learning to appreciate and value myself I have come to acknowledge and understand how much I have not valued myself and how that has impacted upon my life. With regaining my self-worth through my involvement with Universal Medicine, an ever deepening process, my appreciation of life has expanded, deepened and been enhanced.
Same for me jstewart51. I realised self-appreciation and learning to value myself is the key to re-building my self-worth, reconnection to the strength and power that is already present.
“We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential. ” So true and yet that is how most of humanity live, in the safety of a comfortable life. It is something we seek rather than seeing each moment as a moment to expand just as the Universe does.
And perhaps that’s just it Alison, humanity does not (on the whole) want to see the truth of what is going on around them.
Anne, this is a very beautiful, inspiring article, I love reading how we as human beings are all part of the universe, it is so easy to get caught up in everyday issues and a lack of self worth and forget the truth of who we are – that we are naturally as bright and beautiful and the stars above; ‘in essence, forever part of the infinite, expanding and eternal grandness that is our universe. To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.’
It’s an important message to present to everyone, that our self worth is innate in us from birth. If we take this on board as an adult, we enable our selves to unpick all the impositions that have clouded this immutable fact and restore our sense and knowing that we are a natural part of the glory that envelops our planet.
It seems ridiculous to think that babies would have self worth issues, and yet we do not bat an eyelid when we see that children are getting anxious or baying for attention.
Imagine how much our evolution would speed up if everyone dumped their self worth issues, there would be a lot less food eaten, alcohol consumption would drop and we would all just get on with it.
We absolutely are . . . ‘hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul that, in one form or another, forever beckons us to ask questions, to seek justice for all, equality, brotherhood.’ This is pure gold. A paragraph that is billboard worthy.
Wow Anne. Thank you. I love this blog. I love the honesty, realness and divine truth presented here. I laughed out loud a few times.
The mundane and comfortable life is often sold as the way to live – yet underneath the surface the universe and the stars are constantly showing us another way.
Just as the night sky is peppered with stars bright, our day to day life is littered with pictures, images of how we think we should be. If we come closer to meeting one of these pictures, we might say we have much better self-worth than yesterday. But what you show here Anne is that true self worth isn’t a sliding scale based on betterment but an absolute and complete knowing that we are a son of God – naturally magnificent. We don’t have to work on being different – we are already everything innately.
There is so much support that we can offer each other during our ‘wobbles’ when we momentarily forget who we truly are. We know when someone is not quite themselves, when their light is dimmed …. sometimes all it takes is a tender hug, a cup of tea, the space for someone to be reminded of who they are through the power of reflection, a listening ear …. we always have the choice to care, to support, unite, inspire – to turn up the sparkle meter.
Yes, the stars just are, and so is nature. A flower does what it does and blooms because thats what it does as its part of a natural order and flow that it knows and moves with. Likewise with young children, they know they are amazing so what’s the big deal?
‘the self-critical talk can be ridiculous… just an excuse to bring myself down a peg, and then give-up and take solace in checking out by watching TV or overeating’ ….. I know this pattern well, when I step away from myself and allow the self abuse to start, it’s amazing how quickly things can escalate with unloving energy running the show until I lovingly choose to put an end to the abuse and bring myself back.
Inter-galactic look at self-worth through the stages of life Anne, love how you write.
What a stunning blog Anne. I am in awe. You are shining like a star and inspiring others to do the same. Thank you.
I love the reflection a baby gives and it is so important to come back to this – there is no question of self worth issues here which confirms that this is something we to develop or impose on ourselves. We are enough, we come from love and love is who we are.
I love the point you make here Anne, about not labelling people as having ‘high self-worth’ we see them as shining lights who lead the way. This shows that we know that low self-worth is unnatural and being a shining light is totally natural. I can clearly see now how low self-worth which we have used to pass through the midst of life’s roughness unnoticed, is itself an abuse and a real blow against divinity and God.
Beautiful Anne. One of the great points this blog makes is how important true role models are. When we do go into low self-worth, usually to protect ourselves, and focus on being this way and that way, based on novels we have read or movies we have seen, it can really lead us astray to follow this external role model. My granddaughter recently offered me such a powerful example of how parents are role models. She is one and a half years old, – she found a mandarin, put it in a bowl, peeled it, ate how much she wanted, put the remains and peel in the bin afterwards and stashed the bowl in the dish-washer and closed the dish washer door. I was astonished to see this and asked my daughter if she had taught Bronte this. And my daughter said ‘no, she just does what we do’.
“The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine”, and I want to add that I seriously doubt that that they do comparison either!
Low self-worth is definitely something that we bring in, considering that is not there as a baby, nor mirrored to us elsewhere in nature or the universe.
True. It is only mirrored in humans. And then we continue the cycle by making the same choices to be less than that which we were born as and to be.
Absolutely – the whole is amazing by virtue of each of our full expression and never will the universe express a lesser version of itself – and nor should we.
Awesome article Anne! I can absolutely relate to ‘when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed’. Just this week I have felt myself go from feeling very steady in myself to plummeting, and it’s been interesting to observe just what happens to my food choices followed by the onslaught of terrible thoughts that come through me. It’s an awesome lesson in observing and knowing how to be with myself differently rather than to fall into an old pattern that has clearly not ever served me.
Thank you Anne, how lovely to read about self-worth in relation to our place amongst the stars.
“Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? And that all learned behaviour serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive”? This seems a bit crazy that we learn lack of self-worth to survive. Other animals learn hunting skills, how to swim, fly, find shelter that help them survive predation from other animals. Whereas we humans find survival methods that harm us and help us ‘survive’ amongst our species. Are we the only species that expects our offspring to learn to feel less to fit in to the lie we have jointly created?
‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’ I love this because actually, there is our essence within that is always shinning. We may try and make up clouds to put in the way to obscure our light but when we get that we’re amazing and there are lessons we are here to learn and grow from, the need to invite the clouds into the sky lessens.
The fact that children learn to have lack of self worth should raise very loud alarm bells in every adult as soon as it is noticed.
This is a great point Sandra. Adults will only be alarmed by this change if they have not accepted lack of self worth for themselves. Adults with ‘low self worth’ will simply accept a child’s choice to let go of their self worth as ‘the way things are’ or actively encourage it as a result of their own jealousy.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if there where global campaigns for share this kind of awareness, rather than the information that is circulated that encourages people to think they have to strive to be accepted?
Exactly. This point alone should turn parenting and the education system on its head.
I’m up for that, what a shift this will make in a few decades. This isn’t long in the big scheme of things.
Which means all our self-worth issues actually have their origin in us not accepting the light that we naturally are. A completely different approach than the current accepted psychology teaches us. We do matter, we are – literally – brilliant. Thank you for sharing Anne, simple, very relatable, loving and powerful.
The stars are such a powerful reminder of the bigger picture that it’s almost impossible to stay in our own issues when we relate to our bodies being universal and therefore in a relation to the universe itself.
The way we shape ourselves into what we believe at the time is the required form by the world, leaves behind all the joy, delight and steadiness of being who we naturally and awesomely are.
‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’ This is a great reminder for us to always keep our lights on!
Self-worth (or lack of) walks hand in hand with comparison.
“To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding” – this presents a totally different perspective on having an ‘issue’, like an issue is not really the issue.
Interesting that we don’t talk of ‘high self-worth’. I wonder if this is because when a person has a full appreciation for themselves, there is no question of who they are and the notion of self-worth is void. It seems to me the idea of self-worth is a creation not a reality.
Thank you Anne for your sharing your wisdom around self worth, I loved reading this and will definitely return to this blog. This is my experience too ‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ So why not choosing this all of the time, as it is a choice, we can always come back and appreciate ourselves for who we are and again get on with it!
What I have noticed is that self worth is something that is rare among men. How many men feel comfortable in their own skin simply for who they innately are and not for what they do? Not many and this is where the definition of self worth shifts because we can say we value ourselves but is that truly based on who we are or is that because of the amazing things we are otherwise doing?
I love observing babies and how unequivocally they are themselves, no apologies, they don’t care if they are at the supermarket and want to scream or poop, they just go for it. Beautiful reminders of how free we can be.
True – a baby just is, without a construct or ideal to aspire to or strive for. We are often times more accepting of a baby and where they are at, than allowing ourselves to equally simply ‘be’.
Is it possible that a self-worth issue is one of the best excuses to not take responsibility?
I like what you say about the sailors and the stars and it shows how vital to the whole it is that that each and every single one of us is shining our absolute fullness. For if a star turns itself off a sailor might get lost or crash – and so too, if we turn off our own light we are inviting another to do the same – hence the gigantic number of ship-wrecks amongst humanity.
Do I back myself up or withdraw into a shell? Backing ourselves up is so so crucial – any time we don’t we leave the door open for self worth issues to walk right in and take over. When I see myself as a part of the bigger whole, my so called issues melt away. When I make myself the centre stage, give attention to the issues instead of what’s working and going well, then the issues take over. Growing into more solid, real and expansive versions of ourselves is about what we choose to give our attention and focus to – what confirms us, and not giving too much attention to what doesn’t.
‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine. ‘ This is a great reflection of how absurd our human behaviour can be when we decide that we will not ‘shine’ this week as we have low self worth. Imagine if the stars did this?
We all know the path of lack of self worth and where it leads us.. What would life be like if we didn’t take this path?
Lack of self-worth is seen almost every where and it has become so accepted and normal yet your question is great: is lack of self-worth natural or a behaviour we learn?
Its funny how we have included the word ’self’ as a part of ‘worth’ in self-worth when we are worth so much more. I was not brought up to know how much more I am, and in all honesty I am still discovering my amazing power and extensive awareness knowing and feeling so much more than I see. Without Serge Benhayon and the modalities he pioneered especially Charkra Puncture I would not of known and been accelerated to have this awareness as I do today, and, continually expand on.
It’s actually quite revealing how we don’t look at those that let themselves shine and say they have ‘high’ self worth. It reveals the fact that low self worth is something we create – in the truth of who we are it does not exist.
Growing up in the same era as you Anne I too can remember those books and was always aware that “the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked”, and I too attempted to emulate the way they lived, to no avail. How amazing it would be for all children to have parents who are able to foster their self-worth but it’s understandable that they don’t as most parents have their own self-worth challenges as their parents before them and this cycle will continue to be perpetuated until we reclaim that natural quality we all had at birth.
Babies are an awesome reflection for us all… no hiding, no judgment, no calibrating – just full of themselves in every joy-full moment… so very inspiring!
There really is no excuse to shine as bright as the stars – consistently so.
Thanks for this, Anne. A great study of self-doubt and all its permeations. As always, it is so inspiring to bring it back to how the stars reflect our grandness.
When we actually stop to question the pictures we hold of ourselves that contribute towards our lack of self worth, it is very easy to see them for what they are and where they come from. What I have come to realise is that even the fainted pictures that have been lurking in the background, seemingly unimportant are still chipping away and holding us back, and the best thing we can do is bring these things out into the daylight.
Just pondering the fact that a lack of self worth is learned, is staggering, it puts everything in a new perspective….you observe a young child and you just know they do not have self worth issues, they are happy in their own skin, if in fact they are not, it really stands out, so yes it is learnt…and if it is learnt it can be changed and something else chosen…buckets of being more than enough and shining bright.
Thank you for exposing how hiding in low self-worth allows us to not shine brightly and potentially be a target for others. The more I do what feels true for me the more I feel settled in my body and as you point out the rest then flows without any questioning or doubt.
Love to read this blog today, so very timely as I feel I am being called to be more, but somehow I am feeling restricted, limited in some way by capping myself. So this line really resonates with me today: It takes courage to step out of comfort and risk expanding into a larger version of ourselves. Like a snake we must shed the skin that constricts and constrains our growth. Thankyou Anne for this super, delightful blog.
‘..the list can go on and on and the reasoning behind the self-critical talk can be ridiculous… just an excuse to bring myself down a peg, and then give-up and take solace in checking out by watching TV or overeating, or surfing the net and countless other distractions..’ When we choose to disconnect, sometimes it doesn’t take much to go into indulgences that we know are dulling, and then we like to justify it and indulge some more! However just in the observation of this, creating space – without self-bashing can support in truly feeling the body and making different choices, especially when we understand why we make the choices we do. Combine this with deep self-appreciation and we have the antidote to the self-judgment and indulgence.
I loved what you shared about babies, it is so true. Babies and most young children don’t shy away from expressing who they are and the glow of their essence shines brightly. I was observing a 5-year-old yesterday and his face expressions and the way he moves is with confidence, steadiness and beauty, it was exquisite to observe.
What a refreshing blog. I love the honesty here. Yes the truth is that ‘self-worth’ issues are an excuse to not shine. They are ultimately an indulgence. If we see ourselves in our place in the universe there is no need for self doubt, as we are innately an important part of the whole,as i everyone else. Our purpose is to be an equal part. No room for shrinking!
‘We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way’
This is beautiful Anne.
Anne this is definitely a blog I will read again. You have covered so much in it. Not having my own back has been a pattern of mine so this line stood out for me, ‘Do I back myself up or am I so timid that at the first hint of criticism I withdraw back into my shell?’ It’s a known science that we are made of start dust, since the conservation of matter states that it can neither be created nor destroyed. If we connect to that fact, then we would know we are all equal, with no need for any lack of self worth issues.
With true appreciation we become our own biggest fans.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Very true. This then offers others – who may be feeling less than – a reflection of how life can be lived. Equally when we are feeling less than, we can see reflections of those who are living comfortably in their own skin – and shining. Supporting each other to evolve is the way forward.
“Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? ” A great question Anne. As you describe, no baby has self-worth issues. Comparison and competition starts very early tho. I have witnessed young baby and toddler groups where young parents almost vie with each other with regards to their child’s progress in walking and talking etc. Children must pick up on this as they feel energy keenly. And on it goes……..
“Have we ever looked at a baby and thought, “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” I certainly have not.” that is so true, when I look at my daughter there is no sign of self worth issues, she is a bundle of joy and reminds me of my joy, my magic inside.
Great point in this blog that self worth is not something we are born with but a habit we learn along the way in life and therefore can be unlearnt for our natural way is to know our value or our worth.
Anne lovely sharing thank you, I agree with you that lack of self worth is something we learn when we look outside of ourselves for something and essentially compare ourselves with another. We are all exactly where we need to be to reflect what we need to reflect. Just because we may not be the brightest star in the sky does not mean we are any less important. Stars don’t compare or have self worth issues so why should we?!
What a gorgeous blog Anne, so very timely and so beautifully written. I could relate to much of what you have written. When things are going well then self worth is not an issue but if we hold a picture of how things should be or want them to be, then it is easy for lack of self worth to creep in. It can then be quite easy to go into comparison and further cement the self worth issues. What I am learning that these issues creep in when we make it about self, and by choosing this we miss out on the bigger picture, this is why I love the fact that you have brought it back to the stars and the Universe.. When we look at them we know everything has its moment and that we are here to shine and be all that we are and not a lesser version. As you say a star never stops shining or goes into hiding or feels it needs to compare itself to the star next door.
Lack of self-worth feels so real and innate yet in truth it is an illusion. An illusion that has become more comfortable to live within its restraints than to dismantle and break free from. As you so correctly say Anne, “To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.” However, it is achievable to come out of hiding and to shine and each person that does becomes a shining light for others to do likewise, as proven by the Benhayon family.
While reading this I did wonder – what purpose does it serve to hold and treat myself as deserving of less? Because lately I’ve been dipping down into lacking self worth and it sucks. I don’t care for myself (which feels amazing even just stroking my wrists tenderly) I want to run away from my job (which is completely not like me) and withdraw from all human cotact (again totally not me). The purpose of going through these motions of a lack of self worth no longer feel true to me. But has it ever been true to not value ourselves?
During my life, whenever I have felt out of sorts, the natural support has always been to stop and be still whilst gazing up at the night sky – feeling the vastness of space and seeing the stars there, brings an order back to my body and the busy mind can once more be let go of.
Anne, this is a great question; ‘Do I back myself up or am I so timid that at the first hint of criticism I withdraw back into my shell?’ I can feel how important it is to back myself up, appreciate and love myself and not shrink away and go into self doubt.
Thank you Anne and when we are brought to the basics, the quality of our particles and the truth that we are all essentially made from stardust, then even the phrase ‘self worth’ becomes redundant. We simply are a part of this mighty and glorious Universe and our lack of self worth can never negate this fact. Natalie Benhayon very gracefully and powerfully reflects our true purpose, to reconnect with our fiery essence, to realise and relinquish all those beliefs that keep us from being anything less.
“anything but real” when we are playing the chameleon we don’t know who we are. “The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.” This is a powerful reflection and call to shine as who we truly are.
Self-worth issues, even when we feel that we no longer have those issues and we are complete and comfortable in our own skin, we can fall into a false level of security. Just like a trap door spider, self-worth can come to bit us when are not connected to ourselves.
A lack of self worth can be so debilitating it can literally destroy a persons life. To me It’s a poisonous energy based on ideals and or beliefs that we absorb usually as children from the environment that we live in. I also feel it is only because of people like the Benhayon family reflecting a different way to live that has highlighted the self worth issues we all live with.
You are so right Anne, we aren’t born with self worth issues, we acquire them along the way, but when we can just be ourselves the truth is there is no issues.
‘Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world’ that is how we have all been brought up, we choose to measure ourselves by what we see on the outside and lose touch with our innate sense of knowing. We can choose to return to that and therein we can recover our sense of self worth.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Yes I only can agree Anne and therefore it is so important for me to be more connected with my body as my body is the best marker to reflect. In the moment I feel hard and contracted I know I am not feeling comfortable in myself, I am not appreciating my values. For me it is important to understand what was the reason to feel so hard and contracted as with this understanding the feeling of my values can come back!
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Yes I agree Anne it is as if each fine detail of my movements then confirms my worth and life flows beautifully. I find these days when I have a bump in the road or feel off I am also able to re-connect to myself much quicker and reaffirm who I am by simply changing my movements.
Changing myself makes me feel very depressed and having done this for years and years eventually I was diagnosed (with no surprise) with depression which was the choice I subjected myself to. I still have reactions now when I am asked to be someone other than myself, but it is observing first from my body that actually I know who I am and I can simply express myself in the world, no matter what is being asked of me.There is actually no issues in life when we feel this solidity with ourselves, nothing can touch us and there is nothing is worth to change the lovely feeling we feel of ourselves, this is when the worth within us is greater than the worth outside of us. We just have to keep going through life in all its different experiences, and every time when the outer worth becomes greater than our inner worth to ask ourselves what was our choice at that moment that allowed this to happen, and why did we choose what we did? Sometimes it could be that we are too rushed, we could have failed to read or understand the expression of another, or it could be the slightest judgement of ourselves that has brought in guilt, it could be a moment of lack of self care that has allowed us to feel tired or cold or hungry etc…when we have allowed something of the external to enter to control us so that we leave the place of feeling constant joy and warmth, we have to be aware. And being aware of our choices, we can also choose to express our inner worth despite what the external situation is.
What I’m coming to understand and appreciate is the importance of building a connection with our bodies, with what we can feel, because there’s a solidness and a stillness in that, that relies on nothing from the outside to confirm it. When we switch off from how we’re feeling, it’s easier to find ourselves totally at sea – defined by the outside world and not by the quality that we know ourselves by.
Having connection to purpose beyond what is comfortable is when we truly start to shine.
Self worth is a choice in any moment, we either accept and value ourselves or we don’t Of course there is care we can take in how we are that makes this easier or harder for us to accept. So quality of thoughts and decision builds upon each one before.
There are many times when I feel that everything is possible and there is nothing that I will not do and this shows me the truth of who I am and the love that is there in abundance. When I am not this I am not connected to me and I have allowed something to come in, something to be planted that questions my worth. It is not natural to feel less and it has felt beautiful to read this and know that when we are feeling disconnected there is a way back – just look at the stars.
I absolutely love this blog. Self worth is something that is innate to us and we never stop expanding. These two facts dispel the barrage of lies we are sold about life.
There is a lot to ponder here with all the points you bring up. Most striking is the example of our babies who just let us know what is needed, no holds barred, plain and simple, forthright and vociferous. No self-worth issues there at all. We acquire them on the way when we start comparing ourselves against others or adopt certain ideals and beliefs of how we should be in order to be accepted.
Superb Anne – what I can see is there’s a huge difference between who I truly am and what I feel. But if there’s not an acute awareness of what’s going on around me, the two can soon become quite mixed. When you consider the stars, the flowers, the sky or the sea you’d never question their worth or their beauty, so truly it’s equally odd to question our own. To go deeper I’d say the choice to go into this self-doubt world is a deliberate and specific one to avoid our true power.
This really hit home reading this, “To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.” If it was real or true or needed to have self-worth issues, and if we are the same as the universe, then wouldn’t that mean some stars would choose not to shine? Silly question I know but it puts it into perspective for me.
This is a great exposé of self worth Anne. Self doubt is always an opening for low self worth to come flooding in. Low self worth can also be an hiding place and an excuse for us to not step up and take responsibility for whatever is required for us to do at the time.
Understanding that we are all equally an essential part of so much more was a turning point for me in terms of making it so much easier to let go of ‘self worth’ issues. Knowing that our particles are from the stars … how can I consider myself to be anything other than divine. It’s allowed me to feel myself as a part of the divine whole, rather than reducing me to being just an individual.
Anne, where have you been hiding with such beautiful writing! I love this blog!! Thanks for sharing it. You really are a star and please keep on shining so we all get to feel your light.
Boom! Love this appreciation. Triple ditto from me. The expression in this blog, with this level of humility and transparency is the way to close all the doors on any self-doubt issues.
It is with such beautiful transparency that we can see so clearly and are all inspired. We can all learn so much from each other when we share openly and honestly.
Yes and yes again. After 40 years of going it alone, I am finally beginning to see the immense wisdom in transparency – because only then do we truly learn and only then do we truly evolve from what we have learnt. Without transparency, there are always conditions and with conditions we are immediately nudging, tweaking and bastardising the truth of what might be being shown to us.
‘We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential’ …. there is a dis-ease in being comfortable as we are choosing to resist being more, as crazy as that sounds, this is what we are doing – holding back our love and light to stay still and exist, rather than ‘be’.
So beautifully shared Anne! There is so much I connect to in your words, and much food for thought and action.
It’s a great point you make Anne, that a lack of self-worth is a learned behaviour. It feels like it’s the result of taking on the beliefs and ideals we’re presented with rather than simply shining our own light despite all that happens around us.
What a gorgeous blog! Your words are wonderfully restoring of the truth of who we are Anne, an absolute blessing to read. It seems we suffer low self worth when we put too much importance on the self. This may seem like a conundrum for neither is it healthy for us to sweep our ‘selves’ to the side. The key is to value ourselves not as an ‘individual’ but as an important and intrinsic piece of a gigantic whole – the absolute stupendous beauty and grandness that is the Universe/the Body of God we live within and to let the majesty of this shine forth through our eyes, our smiles, the way we move, speak, think, act etc. That is, to move ‘as One’ and not ‘the one’.
Brilliantly explained Liane. The conundrum between self and self-value can appear to be tricky, but is in fact super simple and makes total energetic and scientific sense. We are all one and thus each one of us is of the all. If this is lived, self-doubt is a puff of dust in our distant wake.
Equally well expressed ottobathurst. So we could say that the aim is to be so full of our true selves (Soul) that there is little room for the lesser self (spirit) to be so ‘full of itself’ so as to usurp the throne on which we otherwise sit in full majesty of who we are.
Indeed “we” could say that – though they way you say it is super glorious!! Love your way with words.
The contrast from the beginning to the end of your blog is remarkable. When we connect to the truth of ourselves, and simply be us in expression there is absoluteness, no room for self-doubt or comparing with others. Thank you for sharing Anne.
I absolutely loved reading this Anne, thank you for sharing your understandings and observations of life. We are one under the stars.
We are ‘hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul that, in one form or another, forever beckons us to ask questions, to seek justice for all, equality, brotherhood.’ So any trying to attain a certain level and rest having ‘made it’ is so not it. It’s an illusion – a little like me wanting a holiday to have a rest. I only want a holiday to say stop, I’m not coping with being asked to be more and I want to opt out just for a bit. You guys run on ahead.
August is UK summer holidays and I’ve felt myself want to take leave like many around me. I’ve wanted to catch up on things. But what if I’m only wanting that pause on the world while I catch up because I’ve been taking sneaky breaks around the track already and my Soul is saying keep going, it’s the stopping that is exhausting because you’re fighting the universe’s flow and that’s why you are struggling to breath. Just surrender to its and your rhythm and you’ll be with the flow. Practically this is me letting go of control and force to make things happen. With observation and connection is how I know what is needed. This needing to take a break as a means of combating overwhelm is erroneous.
“We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.” We are indeed, thank you for the reminder.
It is very much like we have symbolically collected layers of snake skins that constricts and constrains our ability to unfold and evolve to the next level of our potential… there is forever more to unfold to reveal the true beauty of who we are beneath… and like the stars we cannot allow anything to get in the way of our ability to shine that forth. Unimpeded… we cannot but inspire through our light.
Loved reading your blog. Beautyfull expression and feels really steady and strong.
“To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth”. I have also come to this realisation, that ‘worth’ is our natural state of being and low self-worth is a chosen morphing of our true selves. We are just as light as the stars, who never question their role to shine in the universe and inspire.
We cannot hold on to the lie of low self-worth when we connect to the grandness we are actually from. Lack of self-worth is dished out to us, and we lap it up when we have disconnected from ourselves and hence all that we truly belong to. And sure – there is a whole lot in this world that wants to drag us down, to make us ‘forget’ and disconnect. But conversely, there is so much around us that is straight from Heaven and beyond, and looking up at the stars at night we cannot but be reminded of our celestial home that one day we will return to. In that grandness low self-worth is just a speck that we can see is a created lie that can only exist if it is being circulated and fed.
“It makes me cringe to write this down.” So much can be healed when we open up to feel what we are expressing, otherwise it just sits at the back of our minds, until we explore the phalluses we live by depths with in our whole body especially mental constructs!!! This is great what you have share Anne, for we can always look to the constellations for expansion.
Beautiful Anne, you present that we can either live in a way that keeps us small and just consumed with day to day life or we can live in a way that opens us up and allows us to be connected to the all.
This shows up all the excuses we can make, like low self worth and lots of doubts, because then we don’t have to shine in the world, we can stay in the background. But look how others miss out if we don’t shine. What if Natalie Benhayon didn’t shine a light on The Way, and inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire either? We can all follow her example of shining brightly to all.
Babies certainly show us innately who we are. That we disconnect from this truth means we have been become a domino in a game of being less so others can falsely believe that they are more- equality lost. Great reflection Anne
If self worth is learned then it can be unlearned. Just imagine we’ve put on a coat that’s too heavy, old and smelly- would we keep it on? I don’t think so – unless we’re really desperate – which some people are. But the beautiful thing about this is those that do take the coat off, shine magnificently so those that don’t feel they can, have a glorious reflection of what they look like beneath it. One day they will be curious enough to have a peek and eventually take it off too.
Love this Lucy how simple it sounds to just take off the smelly horrible critical coat/voice that keeps us down. But like you share we are quite invested in the being down in the dumps, not succeeding, never quite making the grade. For me that is all sure signs of ways to give up and indulge and be completely irresponsible. Having self worth is innate and not special it is for us to simply shed what is not and allow the what is, and with that lovingly embrace being responsible.
I agree self worth and looking after ourselves is normal yet it goes to show how far away we have gone that we make it into this special thing to do. What if it became our very basis and then we went from there rather than making it the all. How would life then look?
This is lovely, Lucy. We all have the ability to shine, it’s just a case if we’re ready and willing to take off our coats.
There are many things that as young children are not present and are something we pick up along the way as the article presents. Children aren’t self critical of themselves when they are learning to walk etc, there is just a fresh approach to keep attempting something they know isn’t them but a function, merely something they do. As we grow this changes and we take on the world and bring these two together, basing what we do with who were are. So if we were learning to walk again and if we couldn’t do it the first time we would think we have failed, some may never try it again, some may try it latter behind closed doors etc. There wouldn’t be the child like approach of virtually seeing yourself as a forever student of life. At some point as we grow we see the world change and in thinking we are what we do we lose not only the truth of ourselves but build a life on ‘do’s’ and so we are forever doing. When a ‘do’ doesn’t come off we take a hit and depending on where we are we feel worthless and no longer know who we are. There is a relationship to be had with ourselves that is old and it was there from young. The relationship is with the real, true you and can never be built on what you do.
Beautiful to read and feel how nurturing this relationship with oneself can be. ‘The relationship is with the real, true you and can never be built on what you do.’ Just not having that outside point of reference allows one to feel for oneself from the essence of who we are what there is to unfold. I have always wondered how I can be so self-critical – less understanding of myself than another would be perhaps. But when I am using an outside point of reference on a doing without an understanding of what’s going on I am essentially imagining what another would say so of course it is heavy in judgement and not even an actual real person so of course that self critique is harsh! Coming back to me and bringing loving understanding to myself makes all the difference. I get to see how it is I can support myself.
Well said and from there our perception is almost always critical of what you are not doing or have done etc. Stand steady in yourself and no matter what you are doing the imprint has this same quality. We aren’t what we do, we are and from there we do, it’s the relationship with ourselves first.
i love this observation Ray -the simplicity of a child learning to move their body with a play-ful curiousity and no doubt, but rather taking the steps in that moment knowing it is a building block and not needing an end outcome at the start. there is a beautiful steadiness in this and, as you indicate, a connection with themselves that does not need the task or activity to define who they are. we have all lived this and it is available wthin us all to connect and return to.
I agree and it makes sense, don’t go into the world looking for answers that can never be there and we have tried and still try this. The only way it works is from within out and as is said it just makes sense. Be whatever you see is needed or at least be aware that this is possible and from there baby steps.
There have been many times where when I was feeling out of sorts or had low self worth I would go outside at night and look at the stars. Their stillness and consistent emanation of light reflected back to me my own true nature and if I stayed with that feeling it reminded me that I am from those same Heavens myself-our true home indeed.
Yes, looking at the stars never fails to fill me with awe. I can stare at them for ages, which confirms to me that there is something about them that we deeply connect to.
I love this expose on self-worth, thank you Anne, and I agree we are not born with self-worth issues, on the contrary we simply are as babies who we are and do not disguise nor do we question ourselves.
As babies we don’t hold back expressing how we feel. I notice the other day how often adults try to distract babies when they are simply expressing how they feel through crying, being very verbal and expressive. I remember doing this myself because I felt uncomfortable but now I am learning to appreciate what they are expressing.
This was beautiful to read before bed – confirmation that we are divine – that this is our true worth.
I once put my young son to bed by asking him to connect to the stars. There was an absolute exquisite energy that I connected to and as I put my hand on his back, he instantly surrendered to sleep. The energy and vibration I was in was a marker I will never forget, a beauty that although the stars shine so bright we can just as equally, and energetically in our own being.
One travesty of relationships growing up and as we go through stages in our life is being rewarded or given recognition for playing roles or putting out a version of ourselves which is not our deep essence.
I agree it is the reward and recognition factor for doing things rather than just being which is one of the reasons we let go of the love and truth we know. After all I could be feeling horrendous but do something that ticks all the boxes and get a gold star so to speak but what about the quality of how I have done that in, what imprint have I left for the next person. The focus becomes on the gold star and so the doing becomes more important than the being. I foudn this especially the case because often I can do amazing things but because it does not get recognised think it is not enough etc.. when actually it was. The best remedy I have found to this is to constantly confirm and appreciate myself and so I do not need anything from anyone else.
Totally agree James confirmation and appreciation is so so Key here, i remember being asked many times to consider what it is that i appreciate about myself and it would most frequently be for something that i know i can do well, however what i have come to understand is that there is a plethora of divine qualities that as a society we do not value. A good example would be my daughter, she takes her time with getting herself ready in the morning, dressing and grooming herself, now there is many a morning where i get frustrated & exasperated with this when we are due to leave the house and she is not ready. But to flip this on its head, i am also able to see what a beautiful reflection she is for us all, the delicate way she brushes her hair, tucks her shirt into her skirt, folds over her socks, I can see how the absoluteness of her self-honouring then supports her in her day. The fact that she will not compromise on this quality and refuses to rush maybe a frustration to many parents in this situation but actually it is a blessing; a reflection that shows us how we can offer ourselves space to nurture and support ourselves and take this into our day.
That is a beautiful example Lucinda, so often we are willing to compromise ourselves for another and then end up being lesser as a result of it. There is such an honoring of ourselves when we take the time to get ready and not rush. I know I have felt a similar thing with others when the agreed ‘time’ to come has come and gone and yet i’m still waiting. What I have found is that we usually did not end up late but I ended up getting anxious for no real reason and did not appreciate the care and love being taken by another person. Naturally is takes women longer to get ready for example just the reality of longer hair taking time to dry and brush or putting on make up. I know how jarring being rushed can feel in my body so can feel how abusive it is when we try to rush another. Sure there is always a reality of not being late. So when I know this is likely to happen I plan to leave say 10-15mins earlier so then am ready and hvae given the space to the other person to be ready without any rush.
If we are feeling low self worth then we have moved away from our connection to our self, as innately we are love and lack of worth does not exist in a body of love.
Yes, I agree Mary-Louise, I find when I am very present with myself and my movements then there is no space for negative thoughts.
I think that parenting and our position in the family influence our self-evaluation a lot. Even if we can later decide on other behaviour patterns and values, it is generally a really hard work to re-position ourselves in the world and challenge the initial self-picture. We need contrary feedbacks and courage to defy our parents’ communication. Not a mission impossible. However, it is difficult if the family feedback remains the same while we have already moved on.