Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse

I came to the loving understanding at the age of 63 that I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is, and how it truly works.

Suppression was a behaviour that I would go to when I felt defeated and crushed and it seemed the way to avoid not wanting to deal with situations every time I felt overwhelmed and could not cope with life.

At a young age I could feel everything. But I never knew that the body I lived in was sensitive, fragile, delicate and that it has the wisdom of knowing, the power of healing and bringing all that is needed from a place within me that is divine and full of love.

Growing up as a child, teenager and adult, I was in the illusion that everything outside of me was more important than my inner wellbeing. I found I was always making choices to keep myself constantly busy in the ‘doing.’ This behaviour was deeply ingrained in my body and it originated from being told that “time was not to be wasted.”

I was lost in the drive of achieving with no consideration to the body and what this truly meant for my wellbeing and how I was living. I used outcomes and recognition to receive acceptance from others. On the surface it looked like I was a super woman, nothing was a problem that I couldn’t handle, but within I could feel the anxiety building up through the aches and pains in my physical body – there was a deep tiredness and exhaustion. The truth was I was using suppression to mask all that I was feeling; I was putting a lid on everything that I felt, concealing the judgment of self and others by playing the victim game.

What I did not realise is this behaviour was abusing my body by not allowing the self to be honest and express what was truly going on deep within. 

It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon at one of the Universal Medicine workshop presentations that I realised how sacred my body is: the way Serge moves in every step and the quality of the tone of his voice allowed me to connect to my own truth. It was through his reflection of the appreciation of his delicateness and tenderness that I came to the clarity of how important my body is.

Through Serge Benhayon’s teachings and presentations of the true Livingness I have come to learn that the body is a vehicle of expression and with that learning to love everything and every part of my body – after all it is my greatest teacher. With allowing myself the space to stop and surrender, comes a loving understanding of accepting and trusting what my body brings to each and every moment, connecting from a quality of stillness – the wisdom that we all hold within.

Life is full of opportunities when I truly honour my body and what it brings without suppressing any feelings. What I love is when I don’t indulge in any of these old patterns or behaviours and instead use them as my friends of learning and letting go, for deep down they are not who I truly am but a part of creation that I created by not wanting to feel truth in its completeness.

My body – the vehicle of expression is no longer used for needs or achievements but to reflect the sacredness, beauty and grace from within in God’s divine love and light.

I am now choosing to listen to how I feel in my body, treating it with respect, commitment, taking responsibility and honouring the truth that it reveals. Accepting the loving relationship between Soul and my body, as we work together as one.

By Kathy Avram, Melbourne, Loving all that life brings in the learning of every opportunity and living the purpose of serving humanity that comes from deep within a forever student

Related Reading:
Self-Care – Saying no to Abuse
Walking your Walk
Poisoned through Self-Abuse

448 thoughts on “Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse

  1. ‘This behaviour was deeply ingrained in my body and it originated from being told that “time was not to be wasted.” ‘ – This is a huge one, most of us are totally controlled by the idea of ‘time’.

  2. IT feels so lovely to feel love in my body more And more.
    The flow of God through the body is what is in service for all.

  3. Using achievements as a way of getting acceptance is a never ending process versus self acceptance that we are enough just as we are.

  4. We all know from observing babies that they come into this world complete with love we know this because we are drawn to their fragility and grace, they are delicate because they are so new born but there is a quality about babies that most of us adore and are attracted to. Somehow we lose this connection with them and as they grow up into young children we expect them to conform to the requirements of society because we want them to grow up to live a secure life. In doing this we dismiss, ignore, the beauty we first held them in and instead we teach children to look outside and measure themselves against the rest of society, this is our downfall.

    At a young age I could feel everything. But I never knew that the body I lived in was sensitive, fragile, delicate and that it has the wisdom of knowing, the power of healing and bringing all that is needed from a place within me that is divine and full of love.

  5. “What I did not realise is this behaviour was abusing my body by not allowing the self to be honest and express what was truly going on deep within.” Intersting how suppression is usually seen as a behaviour that is inflicted on another, by another and not associated with self honesty and honouring of what we feel. Holding back our true expression is far more harming than we care to realise.

  6. I have a little rule of thumb I follow in life that applies to most aspects of it and that is – ‘better out than in’. Now I do not mean to say we should go around like a leaking gasket, spewing our emotions and abuses on everyone, but more so just to say that it is far better to see and feel the source of our discontent than to bask in the illusion it is not there when we can feel it all tremble below the surface.

  7. Loving my body is a feeling of joy and a beingness that comes from within. It does not rely on needing to ‘look good’…although this naturally happens as our inner-essence shines out We feel and look amazing!

  8. We can develop an honest body, one that shares understanding and insight when we are willing to have an honest relationship with it – Allowing ourselves to feel what has been self inflicted and the effects of certain actions and words of others too, helps us come out of patterns of behaviour that may have held us as less than we truly are, for lives.

    1. Yes, the importance of trancparency goes both ways i.e. allowing people to see who we truly are as well as allowing ourselves to honestly read what is going on based on what our body is telling us.

  9. Embracing the deliciousness of me, my natural loving expression, my love of humanity, how I never tire of meeting people every day and helping them to detach from their issues and to ease pain with bodywork is all just the antithesis of that suppression, so with that awareness I playfully go on expanding all of me.

  10. Gosh as I read this I can feel how much I have suppressed my awareness and observation in life in order to not feel – by contrast I am loving the increasing awareness in my life today and it feels really empowering.

  11. We keep looking for peace, for calm, for easy but suppressed beneath all the layers of these ideals and beliefs is grace, stillness, sacredness and universality. It’s crazy to block out such beauty.

  12. The shift to being present in our bodies (listening to and reading the constant responses and feedback) from being caught in the busy-ness of any moment could be considered to be imperceptible. The impact however is properly huge.

    1. So true Matilda, a whole different way of being when we are present, before having presence with ourselves and our bodies I wonder if we are actually ‘being’ at all or just surviving.

  13. The relationship with our bodies is super super important. We can either be in denial of it and just use the body to experience all the ‘pleasures’ of life or we can choose to surrender to it and let it be our guide in life. The latter is now my choice, but I have been in the first one too. The difference is enormous. A whole new world has opened to me in choosing the simplicity and wisdom my body holds. There is now love and true relationships in my life instead of the need for recognition and reward and to only connect with people because I needed something of them – functional, but without any love.

  14. To suppress the livingness of the body is one of the main causes of all of the problems we as a society have in the world.

  15. Drive and achievements go very deep and it can be surprising how much they still motivate and affect us even after we have noticed many aspects of these distractions.

  16. Those, like you, who reflect the sacredness and beauty from within God’s divine love are a God-send. I get to feel and understand what this is in the world, a living example I can relate to. I learn so much this way, I can feel what is being lived. Like my friend talking about her relationship with God I got to feel how real this relationship is and that I too could develop one so true.

  17. “I am now choosing to listen to how I feel in my body, treating it with respect, commitment, taking responsibility and honouring the truth that it reveals” . . . . Beautiful Kathy! Dealing with the abuse in the world has to start with us and how we treat ourselves.

  18. ‘I used outcomes and recognition to receive acceptance from others.’ – We live at a time where we are incessantly looking for confirmation, recognition and ‘likes’, a constant disempowerment of ourselves.

  19. I feel the effort of silencing myself, the energy required and the exhaustion it creates… I am working on this and am coming to realise the simplicity, sweetness and support of speaking up.

  20. “What I did not realise is this behaviour was abusing my body by not allowing the self to be honest and express what was truly going on deep within” – developing an honest body through expressing feels so different to be in, to hold, to touch and feel, because of the lessening of protection and hardness that results from not being honest or admitting what has hurt us. Losing the protection to open up to honesty and eventual love, is dealing with abuse.

    1. The simplicity and wisdom of the body is one of the gifts we are blessed with, we only have to give up that wayward mind and surrender to this wisdom and simplicity of the body instead.

  21. What a beautiful unfoldment you have expressed Kathy. We are indeed masters of suppression, holding back all that we truly are.

    1. That is true. The consequence is that we get transformed and shine for all to see and this can lead to a backlash and we need to learn to deal with the backlash.

  22. I recall from a very young age I started suppressing my feelings because I thought my sensitivity and awareness were the reasons why I felt deeply hurt. I thought if I could stop feeling so much maybe I wouldn’t be able to get hurt, but this didn’t help at all, in fact suppressing my feelings made things feel a whole lot worse. It meant I was burying my feelings deep inside my body which cause a lot of tension, hurt, dis-ease and I simply didn’t know how to deal with them. From choosing to suppress my feelings, I also felt overwhelmed, stressed, helpless, went into victimhood and the list goes on. So, I agree suppression is a form of abuse on our body. And, thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for showing me how to live in a way to reconnect to my awareness, sensitivity, be more loving, connect to my feelings and work on healing my hurts.

  23. Respect should be the minimum when it comes to how we treat our body, but sadly the ‘norm’ has slipped as far as self abuse in society today. Being role models for each other is so crucial in bringing change to this, and we do have an enormous impact on others in how we look after ourselves.

  24. I find that if I am struggling with something I tend to shrink and withdraw which is an abuse to myself. By holding myself small I do not do myself any favours, and everything seems harder as a result. To stay open and expanded even in times of difficulty is something I am learning how to do. It’s important to not assume the victim stance and always know my true worth and my value, even when times are tough. Being hard on ourselves is not helpful!

    1. I absolutely agree Rebecca, I have tried both methods and I can definitely say, contracting, shrinking and hiding from difficult situations never helps, it just causes more complication, pain, and suffering. Whereas when we stay open, be honest, be willing to take responsibility and allow ourselves to feel everything and read the situation with an open heart, all the answers are right there.

      1. Yes, I agree with you both. A lifetime of making myself small to be a harder target to hit may have worked to some degree but how I’ve abused myself to be so small, under an illusion that it’s ok because I’m in control when actually the result is the same. Observing how, when I don’t contract or shrink, life may at times feel raw but the fog that otherwise surrounds me lifts and a wonderful clarity, feeling of space is lived.

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