A Place to Settle – Appreciating my Body

I was preparing for work this morning and feeling appreciation for the beautiful bed, the brilliant mattress and for the chairs I have, how comfortable my car is, and then I felt something else. I realised how absolutely delicious it is being in my body. And when I say being in my body I mean sitting in it, feeling my legs, toes, arms, chest, spine, all of it, and how deeply stilling it is. No matter where I am, I am learning it is the greatest place I know where I can settle.

Now this may seem weird – one could say we are always sitting within our body, but how present are we when we do that? I know for myself I was always distracted from feeling my body – with thoughts, fidgeting, a raciness that paced around my body from the whirl I lived my life in, and a restlessness to the extent that at times I’d have restless legs that would move and jerk seemingly of their own accord. So I was not sitting within my body, nor was it regenerative, restful or still: in fact I really did not want to feel my body as when I did I would realise how tired I was, and how anxious I was, which would send me into even more of a spin.

And then recently, working with a group of people in a hospital we were talking about body awareness and one of them said, “I don’t actually want to be aware of my body – as I know if I do feel it, that it’s a slippery slope, as my body is not feeling that good.” I would have agreed with this person some years ago… and said exactly the same.

So what has changed, and how can we come to realise and appreciate just how delicious and regenerative it is to settle deeper within our body?

Fourteen years ago I attended a Universal Medicine workshop where Serge Benhayon was presenting. One of the things Serge presented was:

“Your body is always ready and very willing to communicate with you. Be very still, feel and listen.” (1)

Whilst it can feel a bit hairy to begin with, choosing to be aware of the body does become a beautiful inquiry into life.

Initially in choosing to listen to my body, I was confronted with the momentums of the way I had been living, and I didn’t like realising how disregarding I had been, and how exhausted my body had become. But day by day, bit by bit, I began to take deeper care of myself and my body. I started listening more intently. I experimented with different foods, hydration, posture, the clothes I wore, whether I needed a pillow on my car seat, and in fact over time I looked at every detail in my life one by one: no push, no drive, just a simple daily inquiry into one thing, and then another the next day.

Through this I started developing a relationship with my body in a way I had never done before; one where the more I listened, felt and then adjusted things, the more my body would show me what else needed my attention.

Over time, I started to realise that I liked feeling my body, and I liked being more and more present with myself in my daily life. More so, I started to realise that beneath the whirl of rushing around being busy, and the constant anxiousness I could feel in my body, that there is a place of stillness, of settlement, to be felt when I surrendered more deeply into my body. What’s more, the beauty of this is that the settlement and stillness can be there everywhere I go, and is not dependent upon a mattress or comfortable chair.

How many of us also search for the comfiest mattress, cushions, chairs, car seat etc. because we are looking for a place to settle? Whilst all those things are supportive and much needed – what if the place to find that settlement we crave is right under our very nose?

By Jane Keep, London

References:

  1. Serge Benhayon. (2011). Esoteric Teachings & Revelations. 1st ed. Goonellabah, N.S.W.: UniMed Publishing, p.316.

Related Reading:
Anxiety and Expression… Are they Related?
What’s All the Fuss about Self-Care?
Listening to my Body

570 thoughts on “A Place to Settle – Appreciating my Body

  1. Being comfortable in our own bodies is the way to be able to learn to respond to all we feel from outside of it.

  2. Step by step, day by day making truer choices in how we live is totally the way forward, if we try to get it right all at once we are bound to fail and it would be too much to feel and wouldn’t be nice and we would probably give up before we start.

  3. Beautiful Jane; ‘ the beauty of this is that the settlement and stillness can be there everywhere I go, and is not dependent upon a mattress or comfortable chair.’ This weekend I am away and so I will know that I can be settled anywhere I go if I am present and settled in my body. It’s very lovely to feel that we take our home – our bodies, with us everywhere we go.

  4. “What’s more, the beauty of this is that the settlement and stillness can be there everywhere I go, and is not dependent upon a mattress or comfortable chair.” We can take it on the tube train, be with it in a busy office, walk with it at lunchtime and so make it an integral part of our day that lays the tracks for a new way to live.

  5. What is beautiful to realise, is that once you start consciously developing a relationship with your body, and consequently discover the quality of stillness within yourself, as you share, it is this quality that comes with you wherever your legs walk you…

  6. Focusing on anxiety is a great distraction that takes us away from truly feeling the wisdom and settlement innate within.

  7. Get up, read emails, put on our clothes and head out to work. The daily treadmill we exist in is focussed on tick boxes not on the quality we live. Imagine if we just felt the beauty of the sky in the morning – then we would be forced to see there’s a particular unique flavour and depth to every moment that is important to savour.

  8. “What’s more, the beauty of this is that the settlement and stillness can be there everywhere I go, and is not dependent upon a mattress or comfortable chair.” indeed and this is everything most people search their lives for, a full body settlement.

  9. Not only is it under our very nose it does not cost anything. So instead of thinking we need to spend hundreds even thousands of dollars on the ‘right’ bed, chair etc. to settle into we can simply settle into our bodies for no charge.

  10. I find that the more I let myself be at ease or settled in my body the more I can be aware of what’s going on around me too and from that awareness be more tuned in to truly do whatever is needed in that moment…

  11. I love the opportunity you offer us here to see that supporting the body on the outside with the pillow the clothes, the mattress are important and, perhaps, a great starting point, but none of them will offer us as deep a settlement as the settling in our body.

  12. ‘the more I listened, felt and then adjusted things, the more my body would show me what else needed my attention.’ This is a wonderful because we can start at any point to listen and respond and continue this.. Our body doesn’t get into a huff and say I’m not speaking to you any more because you didn’t listen, in fact, it often talks a little louder!

  13. It is like that. We can avoid feeling our body as feeling what is there can be very uncomfortable.
    We will feel the hurts of the past and sometimes the damage in how we were abusive to ourselves.
    But the beautiful thing is that we also feel to start living more of who we are when we embrace our body.
    Which makes me feel very rich. The joy can be there together with the discomfort.

  14. If we spend so much time stimulating and numbing our bodies, it makes sense that we are avoiding the tension we have in our bodies from not living in settlement and stillness.

    1. Avoiding the feeling in our bodies leads to more and more avoidance, whereas embracing the feeling in our bodies leads to more and more embracing. One is an away from God and the other is towards God.

  15. ‘How many of us also search for the comfiest mattress, cushions, chairs, car seat etc. because we are looking for a place to settle?’ – Yes indeed, we keep looking outside of ourselves for a solution.

  16. Sometimes when something happens such as a challenging conversation, I am now aware of an uncomfortable vibration in my body. I guess this unsettlement was always the case in such situations but I was not aware of it. I think it is great that I now can feel this because I can take actions to enable me to come back to a settlement in my body.

    1. And thats it isn’t it – we are sensitive and more aware than we care to feel, and actually feeling that unsettlement is a great thing as it supports us to understand and navigate our day.

    2. Doug it is beautiful now that we are able to feel the different levels of vibrations, giving us a warning of where we are at in our lives. With this understanding we can make a different choice.

  17. I love now being able to feel my body more and more without the numbness of before. I can tell every morning when I wake up how well I have treated myself the day before.

    1. Love it – how we live today is how we will feel tomorrow, cumulative – we can take super care and feel great the next day, or not – its a simple cause and effect.

  18. I often notice that my legs are not still when I am sitting at my desk at work -the amazing thing is that when I bring attention to them and bring stillness my whole body feels different, my thoughts change and my focus on what I need to do has more purpose.

    1. Micheal I can reasonate with that, I use to be like that where my legs would shake alot. I could be sitting in a group and notice my legs shake.That just exposed how much anxiousness and nervous energy I had in my body. Now I have more of stillness and a settlement in body.

  19. It is interesting when you get to that point of realising you have been connected to your body and then when you start to build this relationship it is actually something that feels really beautiful, empowering and something that makes you feel really steady and solid. It is a totally different connection to the function of building muscles and being fit, it is a deep connection within and feeling that emanates in our bodies.

  20. A place to settle, within my own body that no-one can take away or change, that is very powerful Jane. When we know ourselves that well, we always have somewhere to come home to.

  21. Jane, this is very lovely; ‘what if the place to find that settlement we crave is right under our very nose?’ Reading this I can feel how we so often search outside of ourselves for a place to settle; we move around thinking the ‘grass is greener’ somewhere else, looking for a place we feel comfortable, when as you say true settlement comes from being present and settled in or bodies.

  22. Finding and having a place of settlement within our bodies is key and fundamental especially as pretty much everything in the world is trying to take us away from being who we truly are. With settlement we start to develop a sense of knowingness and authority to what we are presenting so rather than relying on what we have learnt or been told, we begin to resource within much more.

    1. That’s the beauty its just under our nose we don’t need to look outside of us. The stillness and settlement is available to us all of the time.

  23. Listening to and re-developing our relationships with our bodies is something we do one step at a time as described. Sometime I hear people saying ‘oh, i could not live like that and make that change’ as if it’s one change made all at once. This would rarely every happen and instead it is easy to do in stages as we feel to from our body not from our mind.

  24. True settlement comes from allowing the light and love of the Soul to infuse into, and work through, the physical form we are enhoused within.

    1. Liane I agree, its allowing a deeper connection and embodiment of our Soul of the light and love. The more we allow this the more settlement we feel within.

  25. Jane, I love coming back to this article, when I read it I feel myself settle into my body, it’s such a great reminder.

  26. Settlement in my body is true joy for me. There is nothing better than being connected with the vehicle that is capable to connect to space-my precious body.

  27. Reconnecting to our body is a bit like diving into the see. It can be rough at the surface but very deep, still and settled underneath that.

  28. “Your body is always ready and very willing to communicate with you. Be very still, feel and listen.” SB
    It is this willingness to be very still that we so often avoid, and then we miss the opportunity to hear the messages that are being sent to us.

  29. Sometimes we may not want to stop, because when we stop we get to feel the momentums that we have been in, and these are not always fun to feel. But at some point we need to face them, feel them and let them go in order to allow a true way of being to unfold and come forth from within.

    1. and with the body on our side, in choosing to feel our momentums, we can feel the body supporting us to return to truth – as it is relentless in supporting us.

  30. I have been ill the past few days and in quite a bit of pain and tension in my body. It has been a great opportunity to listen intently to the reflection of how I have been living and what I can now let go off, without any self-critique or judgement of past choices.

  31. I’ve been considering this blog a great deal lately, and allowing myself to feel how much it’s okay to be me. I’m starting to give myself permission to be a student who is learning about life on this planet. This is okay, for we are all learning to be who we are again.

  32. Jane I would agree with you building a relationship with our bodies is a day to day experience as we re learn to take deep care of ourselves because we are worth it.

  33. I also used to avoid my body, just not to feel what was going on. In hindsight that is a pretty interesting scenario: I live in a body and don’t want to be there. When I started to allow myself to feel more what there was to feel in my body, slowly a ‘dialogue’ took place, a re-connection. This has been going on for years now and is forever deepening. I would have never thought that just like you Jane my body is THE place I want to hang out and be with. My best buddy!

    1. Same here! My body was almost exclusively used to function for me. Stillness and true settlement was a foreign word and state to me. Now 10 years later after I met Serge Benhayon and his teachings I can just sit and be superjoyful just being with me and my body. No excitement can ever counter that.

  34. Isn’t it interesting how we are all born with bodies which are naturally, innately sensitive and communicative and yet we are taught throughout life to celebrate the mind and its control over the body. whether this be through sporting or academic or financial or parental achievements, how the mind works the body is seen by society in general as a good thing. But then where does all of that sensitivity go? What happens to the constant communications? I have learnt that these parts of us never stop, they simply become background to the business of life, which is comforting because this means that we can never truly leave our innate sensitivities behind as they are always there and it is just a case of returning to them.

  35. “Whilst it can feel a bit hairy to begin with, choosing to be aware of the body does become a beautiful inquiry into life.” Indeed Jane in the face of old and unloving momentums it is this duvet of deeper care that holds us steady and open to the potential of greater enquiry.

  36. I’m finding as I get older and probably more sensitive it becomes a matter of importance to listen to my body, yesterday I didn’t and over worked myself and woke up this morning really feeling the consequences, the day before however I wasn’t rushed, had the right amount of work to do and didn’t go into drive, had a great sleep and woke up feeling like my body was a good place to be.

    1. Super experiment Kev, and it matters not that one day felt different to the other, as it was a learning and an opportunity to feel the different ‘markers’ in the body so as to catch the signs earlier the next time.

  37. So true Jane, as we need the creature comforts but at the same time ‘not-to-be-comfortable’ in the comforts in life that distract us from being divinely connected, which is our natural way.

  38. No where to go, we are already home. Whether we want to settle in this home (our body) is due to the choices we have made in how caring and attentive we are with our bodies. But with each choice to care, we are opening up more love with ourselves.

  39. It makes sense for us to rely on our body for everything because that is the one thing that is with us 24/7, our bodies are always with us, are always absolutely honest with us and offer us access to the wisdom we need every day.to evolve.

  40. ‘No matter where I am, I am learning it is the greatest place I know where I can settle.’ – I love the empowerment in this statement – settlement is something we allow ourselves through our connection with and our choice to surrender in our bodies, feeling the exquisiteness of every particle. It has nothing to do with anything outside of us.

  41. “Your body is always ready and very willing to communicate with you. Be very still, feel and listen.” – And so we avoid stillness so as not to hear the constant call to adjust our lived way to support the body, and discard comfort.

  42. It is my body that carries me to work, it walks me to all the places I go. It is to honor my body each single moment by being present and loving with my body. This feels beautiful and very empowering.

  43. There is a norm in society that we don’t admit when we are exhausted or allow ourselves to rest. We want to keep pushing on using whatever we can to do so. But it takes only to feel the body and start to respond to what it needs that this exhaustion can turn around.

    1. Absolutely Fiona. I was feeling exhausted recently and I could feel myself pushing my body in order to keep going. I realised that I was choosing to eat things out of reaction to my exhaustion rather than ask my body what it needed to support it. I chose to turn this around and within a few days I had all the energy I needed to continue to work hard. No extra rest needed.

  44. ‘No matter where I am, I am learning it is the greatest place I know where I can settle’. I am learning this too Jane, the steadiness that comes with it, taken with me where ever I go, and something I can come back to if I leave it.

  45. To connect to the body, be still and listen gives us access to the inner wisdom of our soul, so we have to ask ourselves why this is not something we choose for ourselves on a day-to-day basis.

  46. I have often experienced a restlessness in my legs and my feeling is that it comes from a raciness, where I perhaps haven’t walked much in any day but I have been active in a stimulating way or I have eaten something sugary and sweet. When I am racy my body disconnects from its natural stillness

  47. ‘one could say we are always sitting within our body, but how present are we when we do that?’ – I would say in today’s modern society it is a rare thing to be present in our bodies, everything around us is geared at distracting us from being present e.g. mobile phones, TV, the constant background of music wherever we go, the list could go on and on.

    1. I agree Eva, the feeling of having ‘arrived’ in our bodies is rare and if we haven’t arrived in our body then it’s not possible for us to meet anyone else in their body. Hence we are living in a world where everyone is permanently on their way somewhere, even when their body is not moving.

  48. The more delicate our bodies become the deeper our connection is to our essence and this is felt so readily when we do Sacred Movement as presented by Natalie Benhayon.

  49. I was very much stuck in the belief that if only I could make the outside perfect and right I would feel settled in myself. But that is an illusion we are chasing. The settlement comes from within, as you so beautifully and simple describe, and it will never be achieved by focussing on our surroundings or others but more and more felt when we allow deep love and care for ourselves.

  50. To settle into our bodies and enjoy feeling that is something we all can do, I’m wondering if the massive rise in food sales in the past few years would be the case if we all would connect and feel our bodies.

  51. Great question Jane…what if the place to settle is inside us wherever we are? Living from that settlement, we get more and more confirmation and messages we can listen to from the body and that communication is priceless.

  52. The key seems to be to get passed the awful feeling of seeing things you don’t want to see, in order to let them go, renounce those ways of living and to come out the other side. Until we are prepared to feel the ill choices we can’t come to a true place of choosing otherwise. It is so well worth it.

  53. “What’s more, the beauty of this is that the settlement and stillness can be there everywhere I go, and is not dependent upon a mattress or comfortable chair.” I love the sharing here Jane about making friends with the process of refining the detail with your body and taking this inner stillness with you everywhere – it feels so appreciative and confirming. Every step of this journey of ‘me’ has been more and more delicious and so bring it on I say, let me come to know me more and more.

  54. “Your body is always ready and very willing to communicate with you. Be very still, feel and listen.” I love this quote by Serge Benhayon, everything is there for us.

  55. It’s true, the good the bad and the ugly will be felt in the body when we are willing to be very still, feel and listen.

  56. My husband and I recently invested in a super duper mattress for our bed. In the process of trying out the many mattresses in the furniture store, like Goldie Locks and the three Bears, it was our bodies that chose it and we had to agree, as it was the one that our both bodies wanted to settle and rest on.

    1. It is such a loving thing to do for ourselves to buy the mattress of our dreams, when our daughter was born we bought a super king bed and the mattress was just divine and then when we moved house years later we upgraded the mattress and I absolutely adored getting into bed at the end of the day to that mattress. The only down side is when we stay away I miss that baby but am sure glad to feel it when I get home.

  57. We look outside of our own boy to compensate for what we miss though not appreciating and living in a way which honours and support our own body for us to feel but it is always there for us to return to any moment we make that choice.

    1. Very true, Michael – the more I connect with my body and feel the enormity of everything I already have, and the ever expanding joy I feel in my relationship with my body, it baffles me how I could have been so blind to this for so long.

  58. It is very easy to overlook how we feel in the body, as we so used to being in our heads. We need re-education programmes on body-awareness and connection. Thank you Universal Medicine for showing us a truer way of living. We live in a divine body that must be supported, cared for and treasured and when we do, it feeds us back abundantly.

  59. Lying down flat on the floor on a mat, no pillow, with silence, a great way to feel what’s going on in our bodies and how it truly feels. Connecting to each part with breath, a loving way to bring us back.

    1. When I lie on the floor and allow myself to ‘let go’ and feel into each part of my body, it offers me an opportunity to appreciate how much I can’t feel, as much as all that I can feel. Rather than going into judgment or reaction, I’m learning to simply allow the awareness to be honest about how I am feeling in my body in that moment, giving myself permission to go to a deeper level within.

  60. Jane, there is so much in this article that is deeply supportive to read, today this stands out for me; ‘I started to realise that beneath the whirl of rushing around being busy, and the constant anxiousness I could feel in my body, that there is a place of stillness, of settlement, to be felt when I surrendered more deeply into my body.’ This is very beautiful. I have felt the rush and whirl and got caught up in this which is exhausting. I have also experienced surrendering and feeling still and steady. It is this surrender that I am working on as this makes life so much more simple and enjoyable.

  61. I feel that when children experience a way of life they cannot comprehend they go into their minds and look outside of themselves to compare with others to find a sense of themselves. This is not a true sense but there has been no other model of life for many years.
    Since 1999 we have had a reflection of a different way to live which reflects that we are all ready everything – we don’t need to look outside to compare and judge ourselves or other people.
    This has taken a few years to accept but I can honestly now say there is no way I would want to go back to living my ‘old way’ of life. I have connected to a quality within myself that I had no comprehension of being there and it is such a feeling to be cherished and appreciated now and always.

  62. We can abuse our bodies in many different ways or we can appreciate our bodies and all they do for us, both choices produce very different results. When we do start listening to our bodies, they have much to communicate in all areas of our live.

  63. I love the quote from Serge Benhayon referred to here “Your body is always ready and very willing to communicate with you. Be very still, feel and listen.” … it’s a great reminder that our body is there ready and willing to speak to us and as it does; layer upon layer gets refined and we learn to adjust and deepen our care for us … we have the most amazing barometer, our body.

  64. Love this article, it is practical, simple, and immensely helpful as a way of living that is joyful and builds a daily foundation of self support.

  65. It is one thing to have a body, it is another thing to have a healthy relationship with it. And with such a healthy relationship comes a true relationship with oneself, ie. one´s essence rather than be caught in the unsettlement of the personality coping with life.

    1. Yes, so true, the body is literally God given but how we use it and treat it is up to us, or more so our responsibility.

    2. Personally our “personality” persuades us predictably to seeking comfort in life. And it is up to each of us to under-stand this predicament so we can practice true restorative pharmacology and healing.

    1. It’s beautiful to feel, Kathleen the depths we can keep going to in the surrender and settlement. I feel much more solidly myself now, than at any time. I can appreciate where I have got to, whilst in the knowing that there is never an end point and there is more to surrender to.

    2. This is beautiful, a mantle piece reminder that it is false to think we have to get somewhere and thats it, done – … a ‘tick that box’ kind of thing… as you remind us, the depth of surrender is a never-ending surrender into a body of love.

  66. Wow you have to respect the person that is so honest about not wanting to be more aware of their body because they know that this will just confirm how awful their body is feeling. This level of honesty is a great start to being more aware.

  67. True appreciation is amazing – it has a huge impact – it is not just your token gesture, superficial platitudes but a deep and honest valuing of what is on offer.

  68. The more I connect to my body and listen to the messages it is always sending, the more I come to appreciate it.

  69. Our bodies give instant information when we allow it to be opened or returned to the natural preciousness and tenderness we all come from. Then as you have so Lovingly shared Jane, our bodies feel so much and we are only supported by energies that are Loving in every aspect.

      1. Even when we don’t say yes to being love we are supported. We are never not supported, it’s just our skewed perspective that makes us think that we’re doing it alone.

      2. Things invariably don’t come to us via the pictures we create – we like to think we can control our lives but there is a much grander plan in place.

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