What is abuse and how does it look in the world today? The definition of abuse according to the Oxford Living Dictionaries is:
“To use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse”
“To treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.” (1)
Many people would recognise domestic violence as abuse or in the case of an alcoholic, the alcohol consumption as abuse. However, ‘abuse’ is being recognised as meaning so much more in the media today. It was thought in the past that abuse wasn’t that common but its spectrum has widened these days and includes emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is seen in both the home and the workplace in the form of bullying behaviour. Abuse is also seen in other areas such as in the sporting arena and nowadays on social media. This latter has even driven people to suicide and is deeply shocking. Continue reading “Abuse in the World”
Why is it that when we hear the words domestic violence, people often look the other way or feel very uncomfortable? It’s as if we don’t really want to know that it exists and think if we talk in hushed tones, others won’t overhear what we are saying.
In the media and throughout the community it is not given enough airtime or is toned down considerably. In fact, it is now called ‘domestic violence,’ when in reality is it simply an extreme form of abuse. Continue reading “Domestic Violence – have we Normalised this Abuse?”
I read two blog comments and a couple of articles recently that made me sit up straight – very straight indeed. The topic was abuse and it made me realise how relatively easy it is to talk about abuse when it concerns an identifiable victim and a perpetrator as two or several people, when we talk about physical, mental, emotional, financial or sexual abuse. Even the term ‘self-abuse’ has become part of our daily language and we associate it with any kind of visible self-harm, as in cutting or under-eating for example.
But what about the application of the term ‘abuse’ when it comes to drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or marijuana, kicking the dog in anger, spending hours gaming or watching TV, punching a hole in the wall, slamming a door? Continue reading “Are We in an Abusive Relationship with Ourselves?”
For most of my life I was locked into complaining about the abusive situations in my life being unfair and unnecessary. It was my “Why me?” war cry. I felt picked on and bathed in a tremendous amount of self-pity at the personal nature of the abuse.
And yet abuse is experienced by all of us at one time or another. We don’t always allow ourselves to feel it, preferring to pretend that it isn’t there. Maybe we feel unable to deal with it or maybe we don’t want to deal with it, or perhaps it is so commonplace that we’ve just become submersed in its subtle ways. When the abuse becomes extreme, we often become much more motivated to explore what it might be about, because the tension in our body is so uncomfortable. Continue reading “Workplace Abuse: Are You Being Followed?”
I was going to write this blog from the perspective that I was in an abusive relationship with my partner, and he was the perpetrator, and I the victim. I genuinely believed this, at least, until… I started getting really deeply honest and truth-full with myself. Continue reading “The Truth about the Cycle of Abuse”