We have all experienced anxiety at some point in life, some more than others. It can be a debilitating condition that creates stress and affects us in many ways; in our ability to relate, to work effectively and to be in the world in a confident and calm way. I know the times in the past when I have experienced anxiety I have felt overwhelmed and powerless, unable to feel clear or be at ease with myself.
I recall experiencing panic attacks and anxiety so badly at times that I felt I would be unable to leave home for fear of not being able to handle the situations or people that I would run into. I felt totally immobilised and would start to get hot sweats, feeling like I couldn’t function properly if I saw anyone I knew, and if I did speak with them my face would go bright red making me feel even more anxious, compounding the stress I was already feeling.
Continue reading “Anxiety – could Connection with our Body be the Key?”
There is a breed of people swimming in the ocean of life called the ‘Gotto fish,’ though it is best pronounced “Got to.”
There is always something for them to do; there is always somewhere they need to be.
“I’ve just ‘gotto’ do something for work” one would say before running off from his wife and children.
“I’ve just ‘gotto’ get this done around the house,” another would say before they might actually stop for long enough to deeply connect with others or themselves. Continue reading “Life of the ‘Gotto’ Fish”
I was preparing for work this morning and feeling appreciation for the beautiful bed, the brilliant mattress and for the chairs I have, how comfortable my car is, and then I felt something else. I realised how absolutely delicious it is being in my body. And when I say being in my body I mean sitting in it, feeling my legs, toes, arms, chest, spine, all of it, and how deeply stilling it is. No matter where I am, I am learning it is the greatest place I know where I can settle.
Now this may seem weird – one could say we are always sitting within our body, but how present are we when we do that? I know for myself I was always distracted from feeling my body – with thoughts, fidgeting, a raciness that paced around my body from the whirl I lived my life in, and a restlessness to the extent that at times I’d have restless legs that would move and jerk seemingly of their own accord. So I was not sitting within my body, nor was it regenerative, restful or still: in fact I really did not want to feel my body as when I did I would realise how tired I was, and how anxious I was, which would send me into even more of a spin. Continue reading “A Place to Settle – Appreciating my Body”
I recently visited family on the other side of the world. It was a long way to get there – three countries and a total of three days. I travelled standby with a young family and had to interact with a lot of people in order to secure getting on various planes.
There were some challenges along the way, but nothing that was not insurmountable; in fact, mostly it felt like an exciting adventure we embarked upon.
However, it could easily have given rise to an enormous amount of anxiety for me; especially because of the fact I was travelling with two children. But I have been addressing my anxiety for many years and now have tools to support me. So what could have been a tense journey was not at all tense for me… it was amazing confirmation of how I have supported myself out of what appears this global condition of anxiety. Continue reading “Anxiety – a Global Condition”
I had an anxiety problem. Well, this is what I used to tell myself anyhow. In fact, I didn’t have an anxiety problem at all. I may have all the symptoms of anxiety – a raciness within my body – and yes, it can get to the place where it is a problem, but to say I have an anxiety problem does not quite go to the heart of the matter.
Let me explain.
I remember anxiety affecting me at age 4 as I waited for the school bus and it has been with me ever since. I remember sitting in class at school not being able to answer any questions because I felt anxious and fearful, so I learned to sit and listen and be very, very quiet. I had determined very early on that this was the best way not to get attention and to stay out of trouble. I may have been quiet, but I observed everything around me with an absolute astuteness.
Continue reading “Anxiety: Why are you Ruling my Life?”
As long as I can remember I have always been a clock-watcher, constantly checking the time or racing with it, my wristwatch firmly placed on my bedside table and an alarm clock ready to start my day. This was my safety net that I thought would give me a good night’s sleep, but often left me worrying whether I would get up on time or get to work on time.
I would often feel like I never had enough time to get everything done in the day and was clock watching at every opportunity. To others I was known as the punctual, hardworking and reliable one that could be counted on to get to work on time. I was prepared and would wait ahead of time for others. As a result, I often found it hard to unwind at the end of the day and this would lead to my collapsing into bed feeling exhausted. Continue reading “CLOCK WATCHING – A Race with Time”