Recently I fell into a whole self–created story around my worth and my competence in relation to my work as a nurse. This happened because I assumed something and reacted.
Love was always an important subject in my life, because I’ve been missing it so much. I’ve always been a bit shy and I had no circle of friends like everyone else around me seemed to have. I thought I was just not fitting in, too boring for others to be interested in me, so I gave up trying and settled for isolating myself more and more. I can see now how I got trapped in a mindset of anger, blame and judgement.
First, I blamed my parents for my perceived inadequacy – wasn’t it their genes and the way they brought me up that had produced this lacking person that I was? Then I blamed everybody else for not loving and liking me as I was – turning it all around. Now something was wrong with the world, not with me, and I could feel angry instead of sad. Finally, I blamed God for creating this whole mess where there is this good but helpless me, surrounded by a loveless, hard world. Continue reading “Love is so Much More than I Thought it Was”
Looking at the human beings, it is evident that there are many traits, behaviours, illnesses and diseases, dramas and destructions, not to mention wars, rape, murder, corruption…. and the not so extreme behaviours such as comparison, jealousy, lack of appreciation etc, many of which are not replicated anywhere else in nature or as presented by Serge Benhayon, indeed in the Universe.
Take self-doubt as an example – Does self-doubt occur in nature? And/or the universe? Continue reading “Self-Doubt – The Bees, The Birds and The Buds”
Recently I have come to see just how insidious self-doubt is and how it plays out. I once viewed self-doubt as something that was just there, that I accepted as a normal part of being a human being and that it was something that I couldn’t change.
I know there have been times in my life when I would feel the Truth of a matter ever so strongly. I knew exactly what had happened, what had played out and why – but I would not hold it. Instead I would hang on to something that was said about me, and it was this aspect that would have my full attention. From here I would be pulled into the black hole of confusion and doubt, swept to a place far away. I would so easily let go of the Truth that I had felt and would make things complicated, defer to another’s opinion or the majority view, become confused or upset, or even want others to feel it as I did, although they did not. Continue reading “Self-Doubt: It’s not a Little Problem”
Sometimes I am aware of how much I doubt myself. It is definitely not there all the time, but then something happens and it is like a tsunami of doubt enters my mind. I start to doubt my decisions, my choices and second-guess everything I have done. As it sounds, it is actually very exhausting!
So I ask myself, why do I doubt me? Why has this doubt been allowed to enter? Continue reading “No Doubt”