All my life I have been blowing in the wind, bending this way and that, adapting to my environment, trying to establish a control over all my relationships so that I wouldn’t get hurt. At school when I was teased I pretended I was OK, I was tough, I didn’t need anyone and shut everyone out. I tried to be ‘good’ and not upset any of the teachers.
For all the relationship advice I have received over the years, I can safely say that little of it served me well; if anything it contributed only to the fact that I stayed in relationships that I really ought to have ended long before I did. In fact some of them I never should have started!
I do recall my mother’s not-so-sage advice when I was embarking on my first serious relationship where she said, “try living with three different men before you decide to marry as you don’t really know someone until you live with them!” Even when she told me that something in me thought, “But what if I decide it should have been the first or second one and l’ve already moved on!” Continue reading “Relationship Advice”
I was going to write this blog from the perspective that I was in an abusive relationship with my partner, and he was the perpetrator, and I the victim. I genuinely believed this, at least, until… I started getting really deeply honest and truth-full with myself. Continue reading “The Truth about the Cycle of Abuse”
After dinner we decided to have some walnuts that, although dating from last year’s harvest and looking dull on the outside, still tasted magnificent. One of them split exactly in half and what we saw brought joy-full laughter and a deeper understanding to our dinner table.
Recently I read a blog called “A Sharing for Men About Women.” It was an eye-opening blog for it started to challenge how we should look to define abuse in relationships.
In short, this blog was asking us to consider that anything less than a truly open and loving relationship between two people should be seen as abusive. Continue reading “The Light of Comparison and Relationships”
by Anne McRitchie, Chilcotts Grass, NSW
After many years of living together, with a love based entirely on mutual needs, my husband Greg and I found Serge Benhayon, attended our first Heart Chakra workshop and gradually embraced a way of living as presented by Universal Medicine. We reached a point where late last year I could truthfully write:
“Now, ‘making love’ is a confirmation of the way we have been together during the day. But in truth, it is how we are in every moment of the day, not what we do. It is how we smile at each other, touch each other in passing, prepare a meal together or feel the other when they are not there. Unlike ‘having sex’, there is no beginning or end to ‘making love’. It is a feeling that is forever with you, and the physical act is a glorious and joy-full confirmation of our loving connection.”
At the time of writing the above I felt that we had somehow arrived at a place where our relationship was near perfect, despite the occasional little hiccup. Continue reading “Relationships – A Never Ending Journey”
by Anne Malatt & Paul Moses, Newrybar Australia
One recent Saturday I went to a Universal Medicine event. I entered the hall and proceeded to walk to the back; on doing so saying hello and hugging people that I met. After a short time a beautiful woman came and asked for a hug. She said that she so wanted a hug from me, that she had seen me hug many men and it felt so loving, but she asked why I had not hugged many women. I love her hugs and this one was no exception; however this time her words and her hug delivered something that left me needing to go deeper. Continue reading “Learning To Love Women And Men”
by Judith Andras, Germany
Up until I turned 32 my life was a constant emotional drama. I had been through six relationships, and in between flings and one night stands always looking for my fairy prince, for Mr. Right, the man who was supposed to be my soul mate and who would complete me.
All these men were ‘good’ men, they tried hard to make me happy, but they couldn’t fill the emptiness inside – they could not give me what I was yearning and looking for. And so there was always something not ‘right’, something to complain about, to argue about…. the grass seemed so much greener on the other side of the fence. Continue reading “From Emotional Rollercoaster to Steadiness & Love”
by Ariel, QLD
My body feels great. There are no butterflies in my tummy nor do I have the shakes or the constant thoughts or fantasies running through my head. My head is clear and I feel strong within myself. I’m in complete control.
With my descriptions here I am showing the two different sides of ‘Love’ (feelings I have and the feelings I don’t have) the first side is the mushy feelings (the ones I don’t have) which includes the butterflies, the shakes, nerves, feeling weak but happy and fantasies of someone you have feelings for. People would describe this as ‘Love-sick’ or ‘Love-struck ’. If you Google the definition of ‘love’ it will say – “feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). Affection – fondness – darling – passion. Like – be fond of – fancy – adore.” Continue reading “The Difference in Love”
by Toni Steenson, Coraki, Australia
When I was living in a very abusive relationship I let the fear of the unknown keep me captive in the relationship: I would rather have faced extreme abuse than take a step into the unknown, and end the relationship. Looking back several years later, this now seems crazy.
So, in this scenario I allowed fear to run a program of thoughts through my mind: it was this fear-based program that actually supported me in making the choice to live in a very unsafe manner by continuing on in the abusive relationship. From this experience and others, I have come to see that when we put a lot of time and energy into these thoughts, we can actually make it our physical reality by creating situations that support and prove the ideas/fears in our head to be physical facts. Now this is scary… Continue reading “Abusive Relationships: Breaking the Vicious Cycle”