All my life I’ve been a fixer – I’ve listened to other people’s problems, felt that I’ve known exactly what they needed to do to resolve their issues, and been convinced that I was right, and then told them what they should do. In doing so I have taken on the responsibility for fixing whatever their problem is. I’ve spent hours thinking about different scenarios of how I could tell them, thinking of all the different things they needed to do to get a perfect result – and in doing so I have been distracted from living my own life. Continue reading “All My Life I’ve Been a Fixer”
I am becoming aware that when I am talking to people I adjust the way I express and communicate according to how I feel the listener will receive my words.
When I’m talking, I often hold back and don’t fully express what I want to say because I am afraid of the person’s response, or how they may feel, or what they will think of me – this last one in particular is a big one for me. Continue reading “Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression”
I recently came to a realisation about the different ways I express myself with friends, family and people I meet for the first time.
The different way of expressing myself with friends compared to how I express myself with others feels like it came about as a way to offload some of the pain I was feeling in my relationships within my family. Often when I spoke to a close friend about what was happening within my family situation I would look for and gain sympathy, as we would also compare notes about how our parents treated us. Continue reading “Expressing Myself and Being True”
by Oliver Harling, Bellingen, NSW, (with a bit of help from my mum)
Today I am a 14 year old boy, who against the odds, goes to a weekly ‘girls only’ sewing group after school called ‘Stitched Up’.
I love sewing, it’s heaps of fun and a lovely gentle activity, but for me to be attending this group is no small feat. Here I will write about how in my experience, from a very young age, boys in our society are totally ‘stitched up’.
Call it gender stereotyping, or whatever you like, but as a boy there is a narrow way of behaving that is seen as ‘OK’, all the rest and you’re ‘gay’, a ‘fag’, and other derogatory terms (that I’d rather not repeat) that mock any kind of natural tenderness. Continue reading “Stitched Up”
by Carmel Reid, Somerset UK
I recently wrote a blog¹ about Prosopagnosia (Face Blindness). There were some great comments that inspired me to ponder further on how much we do or don’t make eye contact. I have been playfully experimenting with REALLY looking into people’s eyes and it has been truly revealing.
In a SKYPE conversation when the camera is just away from a person’s face, it’s tricky – you either look at them on the screen or at the camera, it’s impossible to do both at the same time, so you never actually make full eye contact.
A short time ago, I was chatting with my son, who is 30 and has Moebius Syndrome – you can read his amazing blog and see pictures in the link at the end of this article². He was born with Cranial Nerves VI and VII (6 and 7) not working, so he has no facial expression – can’t move his lips and smile, can’t frown, and has difficulty blinking. He also has a squint. He can make his eyes look at you but that gives him a bit of a scary look. I explained to him that when I talk to someone with a squint I try to discern which eye is looking at me and talk to that one. Continue reading “Amazing Eyes: Eye Contact & Truly Letting People In”
by Dianne Trussell
My own relationships have increasingly blossomed and deepened as I apply in my life the simple things Serge Benhayon applies in his and shares with others, for the sake of humanity.
I used to keep people at a distance, unaware that I was protecting myself from being hurt. I was nervous, over-sensitive, and had to get away from people just to recuperate my energy. I actually did not like people in general, and very few people seemed to understand me. My own company, and that of animals and plants, made sense and I could rest and feel ‘normal’ when alone with nature. Continue reading “The Gorgeousness Of It All: Falling In Love With Myself, Others and The World”