Love usually comes with conditions, expectations and images of how we want another to be. We say to someone we love them, we care for them, want to be with them, all the while what is expressed comes loaded with conditions of how we want them to be. If they are how we want them to be then we say we love them, although it is not a love that is unconditional. It is conditional. We have a level of judgement that comes with the love we are prepared to show, share and give to another.
Love was always an important subject in my life, because I’ve been missing it so much. I’ve always been a bit shy and I had no circle of friends like everyone else around me seemed to have. I thought I was just not fitting in, too boring for others to be interested in me, so I gave up trying and settled for isolating myself more and more. I can see now how I got trapped in a mindset of anger, blame and judgement.
First, I blamed my parents for my perceived inadequacy – wasn’t it their genes and the way they brought me up that had produced this lacking person that I was? Then I blamed everybody else for not loving and liking me as I was – turning it all around. Now something was wrong with the world, not with me, and I could feel angry instead of sad. Finally, I blamed God for creating this whole mess where there is this good but helpless me, surrounded by a loveless, hard world. Continue reading “Love is so Much More than I Thought it Was”
I came to the loving understanding at the age of 63 that I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is, and how it truly works.
Suppression was a behaviour that I would go to when I felt defeated and crushed and it seemed the way to avoid not wanting to deal with situations every time I felt overwhelmed and could not cope with life.
At a young age I could feel everything. But I never knew that the body I lived in was sensitive, fragile, delicate and that it has the wisdom of knowing, the power of healing and bringing all that is needed from a place within me that is divine and full of love. Continue reading “Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse”
Getting dressed each day is a pretty standard activity. For some of us it can be done with very little care and effort at all, whilst for others getting ready for the day can bring about great distress. The conundrum of what to wear! Continue reading “Dressing to Impress: Are you Ever Enough?”
I was born Hong Kong Chinese.
I have never liked being Chinese because it never felt natural, but I have lived most of my life feeling trapped within the picture of what being Chinese meant. I was always looking to run away, to be any nationality, to live in any country but to be where I have incarnated to be. Continue reading “Being Chinese – Being True to My Self”
We are all beautiful. This is not an advertising jargon or a casual clichéd comment, but it is an absolute truth that my body knows. But what is beauty? Continue reading ““Beauty is Much More Than Skin Deep””
How easy is it to judge another person? How easy is it to assume that people are exactly the same as when you saw them last, particularly if it was many years ago? How easy is it to see what we want to see, rather than what is truly there for us to feel? How easy is it to label and imprison ourselves in the harshness of judgment? Continue reading “Imprisoned by Judgment: Understanding & Accepting Life Just as It Is”
I made a choice in my childhood to give my power away in exchange for some attention, the second best thing to love, or so I thought. In essence, I wanted to be seen by my parents and I wanted their affection, so I found a way where I knew I could make this happen. Continue reading “Giving Your Power Away: Why Being ‘Good’ Doesn’t Work”
A few years ago the expression “Become who I really am” came to my awareness and slowly transformed into a life-changing revelation. When I first heard it, I felt empowered; it was like a call to become who I always intuitively knew I was. However, it didn´t stop there – it got complicated as I went through a lot of thinking:
- Who was I really? If normally I am not who I really am, then who am I most of the time?
- Am I being invalidated in some way?
- Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?
When I was a child I often heard the expression “little white lie”. It was used for justification when children caught and called out adults for telling lies. Adults often responded with “it’s a little white lie,” which was supposed to mean that adults could tell lies when the intention was somehow ‘good’, like not telling the full truth to a child in case it was “too much for them,” or doctoring the truth to an authority to smooth relations and not get into trouble…. How dreadful is that?! Continue reading “Truth about Little White Lies”