Giving Your Power Away: Why Being ‘Good’ Doesn’t Work

I made a choice in my childhood to give my power away in exchange for some attention, the second best thing to love, or so I thought. In essence, I wanted to be seen by my parents and I wanted their affection, so I found a way where I knew I could make this happen. Continue reading “Giving Your Power Away: Why Being ‘Good’ Doesn’t Work”

Who I Really Am

A few years ago the expression “Become who I really am” came to my awareness and slowly transformed into a life-changing revelation. When I first heard it, I felt empowered; it was like a call to become who I always intuitively knew I was. However, it didn´t stop there – it got complicated as I went through a lot of thinking:

  • Who was I really? If normally I am not who I really am, then who am I most of the time?
  • Am I being invalidated in some way?
  • Is someone going to know who I am, better than I do?

Continue reading “Who I Really Am”

Truth about Little White Lies

When I was a child I often heard the expression “little white lie”. It was used for justification when children caught and called out adults for telling lies. Adults often responded with “it’s a little white lie,” which was supposed to mean that adults could tell lies when the intention was somehow ‘good’, like not telling the full truth to a child in case it was “too much for them,” or doctoring the truth to an authority to smooth relations and not get into trouble…. How dreadful is that?! Continue reading “Truth about Little White Lies”

Responsibility to Not Be Small In The World

As far back as I can remember I have chosen to be small in the world.

For me, being small meant that I would try to be invisible as I lived each day, ensuring that I never stood out or attracted attention. I was afraid to let go and just be myself as I was petrified of feeling vulnerable, hurt or rejected. Continue reading “Responsibility to Not Be Small In The World”

Being an Elder Role Model

When I was a kid we were often told: “Respect your Elders!” Back then, respect was ‘earned’ by what you did, so this demand to respect elders by the standard of the day was to me a contradiction. I could appreciate the principle, but was constantly frustrated about having to respect people who were making choices and behaving in self-degrading or abusive ways that did not meet up to my own principles. Continue reading “Being an Elder Role Model”

The Power of True Surrender

In the past when I heard the word ‘surrender’ I envisaged white flags and lost battles. A part of me always felt that those who surrendered in war were simply willing to end the madness. I also noticed that for most people, surrender meant admitting defeat and handing yourself over to another.

Indeed the Oxford dictionary provides various definitions including: “Stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority”(1). Dictionary definitions aside, an experience I had while going for a morning walk recently showed me that there can be great power in surrender. Continue reading “The Power of True Surrender”