Recently I had a really sore throat, making it very painful to talk. I realised being unable to talk was actually a blessing as it revealed something about the way I talk and my unique expression that I have been struggling with for years.
I saw how there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside. I have noticed my voice can feel harsh as I speak and then I can sound insensitive or judgemental, which leaves me feeling bewildered because of this inconsistency.
During this sore throat episode I had an esoteric connective tissue therapy treatment. In this session, I pondered on my way of expressing and the lack of gentleness coming through my voice.
When I hear harshness in my own voice, is it because I am trying to make it sound like someone else’s, and in that moment I don’t actually know what my own voice naturally sounds like?
I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.
I was listening to everyone else’s expression and how they talked, then choosing to compare myself to them, and consequently being hard and judgmental on myself, and everyone else.
During my connective tissue session, an image came to me of diverse, magnificently coloured corals growing under crystal clear waters. My insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way.
I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.
I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.
I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.
I continue to be inspired by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Practitioners, Rebecca Poole and Jenny Ellis who support me to investigate what I need to with such love and kindness.
by Suzanne Anderssen
Further Reading:
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression
“Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People
Am I Allowed to be this? Finding a Balance in True Expression
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
It sounds like losing your voice was an enormous gift! so illness and disease can actually be an opportunity to reassess what we have taken as normal and how we have been living, so we can choose afresh.
‘there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside’, yes I have this too, and with the awareness I can immediately feel I have gone into a little bit of hardness, an old habit of mine, but it feels great to clock it and read it, and not go into making myself wrong.
There is something very freeing in allowing our selves to simply be, and to speak with the humbleness and authority that comes from us.
The unique and individual ways we express are all equally important, the key is to express, and to express in our fullness, ‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’
I have noticed this at times with myself too, ‘ I have noticed my voice can feel harsh as I speak and then I can sound insensitive or judgemental’. I keep reminding myself to always express with love, still a refining process.
I have had some interesting experiences recently with my voice and have been paying attention to how it can change beyond tone pitch and volume. When I am totally at ease with myself, and feeling connected to my body, there is a different quality and vibration to my voice. I feel it resonating from deep within. I must admit to really enjoying how my own voice sounds and feels when I’m in this place.
What a simple tool, to feel our voice when we are speaking and allow us to feel it in our whole body. That alone allows me to express more from me than letting an idea dictate how and what I say.
I am constantly amazed at how my voice changes depending on where I am at, at the time. It is an absolute reflection of the truth (or not) of a connection to who we are, to our essence. Working with Chris James in his expression workshops has highlighted this more than anything else. The power of our voice to heal (or harm) is a level of responsibility most of us probably prefer not to acknowledge.
Thank you for the timely reminder Jenny that our voice has the power to heal or harm and that each of us has a responsibility to heal ourselves ( let go of the old baggage and hurts) and in doing so we offer healing to others.
Yes to understand the power of our voices to heal is huge… not in a beautiful sound but in expressing from the truth of something we know or have lived. As a practitioner I have learnt this over many years, some of the most powerful sessions I have offered have been predominantly talking. The shifts and changes possible in another has been profound at times.
Feeling our voice resonate in our body as we speak, supports us to stay present and not calibrate to another so easily.
It is great to listen to ones own voice, as it keeps us in the moment and very present with ourselves. It all reflects a lot about us, which helps in many ways to understand ourselves more deeply.
Comparison is a killjoy and totally denies the immense beauty and the unique qualities we all bring.
Thank you Suzanne, a voice is actually very powerful and healing when it’s spoken from ones love and tenderness, i.e. from the true essence of who we are. I have noticed that recently with some people around me and how I feel like I receive a healing from hearing them speak – it’s not the content of what they are sharing, it’s just the pure expression of who they are in their voice.
As we deepen the relationship with ourselves, with our bodies and true inner qualities, what no longer matches that vibration is very much felt and becomes very obvious.
After reading your blog the word ‘trying’ came up for me. In trying, I am putting effort into being a certain way, that is not me. I don’t need to try and be myself because I am already me. In being myself there is no trying and so there is no strain.
Our voice is a great marker as to where we are, if we are angry, sad, joyful, they all have a slightly different tone, and each person’s tone is unique to them. When we go into comparison it also has its own tone, and is often cutting and destructive which is not loving for either person. When we live without comparison life is more open and more loving.
When we crush our expression we crush ourselves, and it doesn’t take long for this to be reflected in the physical body.
In comparison we are never enough and all that we already magnificently are is instantly negated. Through connection to who we are within we can express the love we are, with a quality that reflects our equalness yet sparkles with a uniqueness that can only be delivered through you.
Feeling crippled and lopsided is how I have been physically feeling lately with severe pain that keeps waking up during the night, and reading your blog reminds me it is my essence that is being put under that crippling before it becomes a physical experience, and for me that is actually reflected in the entire life as expression and feeling that extent is quite devastating.
Beautiful Suzanne. It is amazing what can be conveyed through the sound of our voice. When I allow myself to feel the quality of someones voice this quality becomes more important than the words they are saying.
What’s great about this is that you noticed that your voice did not represent the loveliness of who you are at times. That means you know you are lovely. How wonderful, and an inspiration for us all.
The coral is a truly beautiful analogy for our unique expression and also our importance as part of the whole. It is beautiful to be supported through modalities such as these that can help us to expose when we are not expressing our truth so we can address what lies in the way and ensure we don’t allow for anything less than all of us when we speak.
We all have our own unique way of expressing ourselves and by actually appreciating those differences we realise how our different expressions can not only complement and support each other but teach and develop each other too.
Thank you Suzanne for sharing this observation as it offers a powerful revelation of how being ourselves actually feels natural, as when we are being or expressing ourselves we are in essence representing the All that we are equally from.
I love the coral analogy – the uniqueness and unity is a beautiful message to us to express from our own essence and thereby contribute to the beauty of the whole.
It’s crazy how often I have tried to mimic another because i think my communication will be more effective but it never is because the other person feels the lack of authenticity and then I beat myself up for not expressing something well enough. Accepting that I am enough just as I am and trusting that if I need to say something I will find the right words and way to express it, is something I am working on and it has improved the communication within so many of my relationships and brought increasing harmony to my life.
How we speak to another can be very revealing of how we speak to ourselves.
We all have our own unique expressions, so, going into any kind of comparison simply stunts our relationships and our appreciation of what we can bring to humanity. It can be exhausting to try and be like others when we can simply choose to be ourselves. I have noticed when I get a sore throat it is often linked to an incident where I have held back in expressing myself in full. So, I feel there is more to this symptom of a sore than we think and could it be harming us and others if we choose to not express who we are? I’d say, a definite yes.
I love the open and honest way you share Suzanne. I am often jarred by the sound of my own voice when I hear it play back on a recording. It is always obvious to me when I am ‘putting on a show’ and not being myself and I have noticed that this happens far more than I realise. Your story is inspiring because I can tell you have been gentle, loving and supportive of yourself as you examine what is and is not true for you.
“I saw how there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside.” I experience that sometimes too that my movements do not seem to match how I feel inside. What you describe here reminds how important it is then to not go by a picture I have in my mind and try to change my movements but to simply stay with what I feel and the movement will unfold.
I loved your analogy Suzanne of all our expressions being unique and likened to the beautiful array of corals that we see under the ocean – corals that you cannot compare because they all have their own beauty to be appreciated. We human beings are no different.
I agree Suse. This analogy has me pondering how strange it is that we seek to emulate others rather than appreciate our true expression. My sense is that a lot of the time we are reacting to the fact that we are not being ourselves and then seek to copy another (and unwittingly continue the pattern) in order to deal with this. It feels far more supportive (and way less exhausting) to just be ourselves.
Thank you Suzanne for a great sharing, I realise that I am often tuned into how peoples voices sound, but not really tuned into the sound of my own voice, though when I get crockyness in my voice I realise I am holding back from expressing.
A great lesson that when we are In the appreciation of the beauty of who we are and what we bring we allow our true voice to express forth.
How often when something we take for granted is taken away from us do we then begin to realise what it is that we have lost? When we “lose our voice’, cut our finger, break a bone etc, it is an opportunity to remind ourselves to not take one single part of this amazing body for granted, but instead to honour it, care for it deeply and get to know and understand it more and more each day. How wonderful Suzanne that “your sore throat’ turned out to be a blessing that came accompanied by a timely lesson.
Suzanne what a great realisation so often our bodies are telling us something yet we choose to override and ignore them. What if we asked ok so what is my body telling me? What can I learn from this? Suddenly it changes from being an arduous task to one of learning.
It’s awesome when you’re open to listening to what your body is telling you. A sore throat can lead you to appreciating that your expression is unique and should never be squashed…very very cool indeed!
I can really relate to this…there have been many times when words, or perhaps rather the tone coming from my mouth just didn’t feel like me. I’ve never really pondered it before, but what you say here feels very true Suzanne. I can safely say I have copied others in the past, believing that I should be more like them and less like me. I’m now constantly being reminded that there is no other way to be, other than myself…and it feels much better and far less confusing when you just allow yourself to be.
Until we let go of the image of being something we won’t be able to live what naturally lies within.
‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’ How exhausting ‘trying’ is, as we need to achieve something or be someone we don’t feel in our body. The more I get honest the more I know my life was based on comparison and trying to follow a picture I had in my mind was perfect, which is never truly was.
In years gone by I was resistant to admitting that the way I expressed felt hard, abrupt, dismissive, controlling etc., but I can distinctly look back now and remember that even though I could feel the words I was saying at the time might have been true (or contained truth), that the ‘way’ the words were expressed were often anything less than loving. No wonder there was often so much reaction and resistance from others in this regard!I could feel that when I expressed this way, and although I often felt ‘righteous’, it still didn’t leave me feeling that great. I’m still working on this and learning to take responsibility for how I express – whether I’m willing to be truly open, or whether I’m trying to ‘tell’ someone something – and now (thank goodness!) I’m much more willing to be open to feedback from others and to listen to my own body feeding me back information on my expression… When I’m feeling clear, open and connected with myself and others, the expression feels very different to when I’m holding onto a hurt or judgement etc.
When I are able to speak without comparison or judgement or from my lack, but from the fullness of myself my voice is just right as it is. And its message is not imposing or harsh or misunderstood.
Very true Suzanne, we are all unique and each bring a different part of the puzzle to the picture – without one piece we cannot see the whole. And if 2 or more pieces are trying to be the same equally we cannot see the whole either.
Comparison is a real killer of self-acceptance and self-worth. We all have a uniqueness which is to be celebrated, yet at the same time we’re coral underneath it all, from which we know we’re all equal. The problem arises when we acknowledge the uniqueness and find it wanting by comparison rather than embracing it as our uniqueness in the equality that otherwise unifies us.
“It is also not a lovely feeling in my body when I started to compare myself.”
So true Ester when ever I go into comparison, my body becomes hard, I clench my teeth and my arms become all tense and rigid – not feeling very great at all.
Letting go of comparison is such a huge issue. There is no point in having a bunch off clones! We are all unique, as you say Suzanne, with our own unique way of expressing. Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember this! But nowadays when I catch myself comparing, turning to appreciation is so supportive.
So agree Sue – appreciation is a great antidote to comparison.
Agreed Linda, the more we appreciate the more we are saying yes to being more of the love that we are.
The more we appreciate our own qualities the more we get to feel the power of our own unique expression and that of others around us.
Yes Belinda I recently experienced the deviousness of it when I was thinking I was really pleased for someone but actually I was really jealous! Felt so horrible and ugly it is the subtle stuff that we really need to be onto if we are to be honest and heal what is really going on for us.
Just today I was loving something my daughter had made and then we were looking on the internet for habitats and came across other children’s work for similar project work and saw one that was also good, and immediately I felt hers was ‘less’ now there was something that appeared to be ‘more’. This has been with me my whole life I never pursued art as I knew I was not the best at it. I stop myself from being free to express for fear that I will look stupid and that I will have got ‘above my station’, ‘illusions of grandeur’. What a great set up, this is comparison and to indulge in it this way means you don’t allow yourself to shine. It also sets up an energetic reflection that the other doesn’t want to shine too much so as not to upset others. I feel it is so ingrained in how we are bought up it is something we have to consciously be aware of and call out as not being true at every opportunity.
“What a great set up, this is comparison and to indulge in it this way means you don’t allow yourself to shine”
This is a great line Vanessa, comparison is a insidious trick to reduce ourselves – we surely stop shining when we indulge in it.
I love this analogy of the different coloured corals being our unique expressions and how they work together in harmony through the whole reef. We all have unique expressions and to be completely honest I often shy away from mine and use a small voice to hide behind. But the more aware of this I become the more I surrender to my true voice, as holding its beauty back is be a disservice the to the rest of the coral reef.
It’s amazing how our body sends out a signal for us to stop and understand what is going on and where we are at. I recently had a terrible sore throat too that lasted for days, and it was so painful even when I was just swallowing and I kept saying to myself ‘it hurts to swallow’ and that was exactly what I had to hear: it hurts to swallow = swallowing my words, holding back my expression was hurting me and everyone else. It was a call for me to look at the level of responsibility I was taking.
This is a great step to feeling your true voice..”I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.” I can identify this in my own voice very clearly, especially when teaching.
I have experienced at times people come and ask me what is wrong with your voice are you ok? Our voice can reflect us back when we are not in harmony or something is wrong then it changes it sound and quality.
Thank God we all have an unique expression and therefore comparison does not make sense but rather stops us from freely expressing.
A beautiful awareness Suzanne – comparison is indeed crippling and makes no sense once true expression is understood.
When the voice is affected or not available to us, it highlights the relationship we have with our verbal expression. There are times I speak and I am aware of the fact that I giving my opinion instead of hearing deeply that which the person really is sharing. It highlights much about how much I speak, the tone of the voice and the gift it is to be able to share in this way. Each of us are communicating in every move we make and the essence we carry is felt by all, this blog Suzanne has me reflecting on how much we get caught up in the verbal way of communicating and how we can choose to be more responsibility in choosing when to speak, what we say and the tone of our voice.
Letting go of comparison and seeing that we all contribute to the beauty of the world by being unique in the way we express is accepting ourselves and our contribution to life on earth.
We all have our unique way of expression, it is a beautiful thing we get thought and choose to be a bad thing, that others are better so we should be like that, which isn’t true. We grow together through each others way of expression, everyone supports a part in this world.
Suzanne, a beautiful expression of what brotherhood is made up of. Many different expressions that sing the glory of the one source.
This is a great sharing Suzanne, I can totally relate to the disdain you feel when you hear yourself speaking in a way that is harsh and not what is on the inside of you. There are some voices that you could just listen to forever, it feels like some voices wrap you up like a warm hug – it’s great to hear my own voice like that sometimes for this is my true voice.
I agree Annie, and by not appreciating ourselves by going into comparison means we stop appreciating others. I have realised there are many aspects of me, and this is reflecting to me that everyone is a different aspect of the whole, to be treasured and appreciated. Appreciation and acceptance all come from a deep connection to our bodies which leads to an even deeper love of ourselves.
This is a revealing blog Suzanne, as I feel that I too compare myself in many ways, especially where expression is concerned. I too have learnt, and been reminded, that we all express in our own unique way..
Thank you Suzanne, this is a great reminder of the importance of honouring my own expression and the unique flavour that I bring to the all.
Expression is not my strength so it was encouraging to read your blog Suzanne, our evolution is dependant on our individual and unique truthfull expression
We love the variety in nature, all the colours, different tones the birds have, different shapes from small to very big, feeling soft or solid and so on. And yet we compare ourselves and see ourselves as less or more instead of loving the variety and feeling that everyone’s expression is needed and to appreciated. Nature gives us this beautiful reflection, we are all one.
At times I also feel a harshness and brusqueness in my voice, thus not emanating the true me.
I am so appreciative that you have highlighted this Suzanne; a real and true reflection for me to ponder; an opportunity to take responsibility to change expressions that are harmful to others and myself.
Over the years I have been learning to find my own voice and to stop comparing to other people and how they express. The energy of comparison in the body feels terrible and is very distructive to self and others.
Very beautiful Suzanne and I love the analogy you have shared. Thank you for the powerful reminder of how vital appreciation is, not only for our own unique expression but in all others also, as the Love from which we express is one and the same.
Suzanne, I love how much our voice can tell us, and how much my voice can change as I connect to my body more – it’s like a weather vane showing us how we are with our self, and whether we are speaking from us or not.
Reading this today I became very aware of how in the past I would hold back from expressing which is, another way that I was making a comparison/judgement between myself and another of not feeling good enough or clever enough to contribute! Interesting as mostly now if I observe (not out to please or gain recognition) I become a better listener during conversations and feel so much more open to freely express if there is a need to do so in my own unique way. Great blog Suzanne thank you.
I love the simplicity of this blog Suzanne and this line in particular “everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.” I often say to people about the colours of a rainbow and how it wouldn’t work if we were all trying to be blue…how all our varying colours make one, to step away from that leaves the whole less and we all miss out. I feel it is important to remind ourselves and each other we are part of that whole and that, our responsibility in that whole, is to represent our light in full so we support the whole to simply be all that is always has been.
Great piece and your comment, ‘I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.’ is instructive for me, I can feel where when I’m expressing something that someone else has said or something that I’ve felt from another, but actually it’s not mine to express, I feel false so I push and it feels horrible to both the listener and to me. Great to make that connection with a harshness, that is exactly what it is.
‘to try to be like another’ what a useless exercise and I used it a lot in my life. I feel how my body is tired of this exercise because it knows the truth, I am unique just like you and you and you.
Beautiful, everybody’s expression makes together the unity we are. That’s the true meaning of equality we have to come to as humanity. Expression is not there for individual expression, but always in harmony with everybody else, only then our expression truly serves and offers evolution. I realized that when my voice gets hard, that I am pushing for something, I want to get somewhere or people convince to do something or to be in a certain way. This creates hardness in my body and feels not harmonious. There is no equality in my voice then, there is individuality. It is beautiful to learn, specifically through the Expression workshops with Universal Medicine how to express in equality always.
With Universal Medicine and the expression workshops we are given the opportunity to really appreciate our expression, how we deliver our feelings and experience about any topic, and how we appreciate what others bring that is expanding, each person’s expression making the coral reef that you described Suzanne. And as you have stated Rachel, “everybody’s expression makes together the unity we are, the focus shifts from being about me to about everyone.
Yep and the unique ways of everybody are so beautiful and special and there is no one like the other – there is only one version of you, therefore everyone’s voice and true expression is so important. Everyone is an important part of the universe.
What a lovely way to see how expression can have so many different versions and colours. I agree that comparison is a separation from self and from another, what is the opposite of what we all naturally looking for – our union in equalness and brotherhood.
We are all indeed unique in our expression and that is so beautiful. There is no need to try and express like another as the other is not you. Accepting and allowing us all to be who we are and express in our unique ways, and then there is no room for jelousy or comparison
We all have our own unique qualities that we bring and many different ways to express them, learning to appreciate and accept ourselves is the first step in working together as one.
Gorgeous sharing Suzanne. How often do we pay attention to the tone of our voice. It is always revealing where we are at and this is a great reminder to give myself permission to be me and express from that place versus taking on the polite role of trying to be the perfect employee or friend.
Agree Katie, there is so much that can be felt by the tone of someone’s voice no matter what image is being presented.
Absolutely Katie and I have had the most amazing experiences where I have been shocked at the sweetness and beauty of my voice like it was someone else speaking!
In my experience comparison is completely destructive. In comparison one places them self either higher or lower than another, either position is equally harmful. Only when we realise we are where we are, because of our choices and comittment to life, or lack there of, can we let go of comparison and it’s close companion jealousy.
Suzanne, I love that image the corals and the reef and how the reef would not be the same without each coral, and the differences in how each is. Such a great way to describe us, how we each express in such a unique way and how that is absolutely needed, each of us has a line in the chorus and without it the whole thing is less full.
I love the way that you expressed this, Suzanne, “my insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way”. That is beautiful. I have for most of my life been a very shy person and found it very difficult to express myself. I have been prone to throat infections on and off for a long time also, not so often nowadays but I still have throat problems at times. It is always such a good reminder and inspiration to me to watch that I am expressing from who I truly am and not to be trying to make a good impression or fit in with others. Thank you for a very inspirational blog.
Embracing who I am has enabled me to start finding my ‘true voice.’ Its been a long process and is ongoing since I have held back from expressing for such a long time. When I do express my true feelings, it can come out a little awkward or stilted, because I’m not used to it, but slowly its becoming easier as I practice speaking up.
I too am enjoying finding my true voice Debra. The word essence is now also starting to become more real for me and not just a word or concept. It is the uniqueness in everyone’s expression or essence that I love feeling.
Yes Belinda, I have been observing that its well after the comparison has happened that I then get a chance to notice I’m doing it. Same with noticing my voice is harsh. Still its great to be aware of the patterns and behaviours we have. I am working on being more aware before I act.
Thats a very good point- I know this too Caroline and thank you for bringing it back to yourself. We are so fast caught in YOU did something wrong and react to it.
The only reason why we react so intense is, because a part of us is the same & we don’t want to look at that.
Yes Steffi it can be a bitter pill to swallow those reflections of what we don’t like to look at! I sure do like to wriggle and squirm my way out of these things! The more understanding we have for ourselves definitely the more loving we can be with others also.
Interesting what your voice let it sound hard.
Comparison is absolutely not obvious in this case. I will ponder, if I go into comparison aswell.. Thank you for your inspiration.
What a great discovery it is to get to know your unique expression and get to love it. Every second of it. Cause then there is no need to compare.
I have also felt sometimes surprise at my own harshness in my voice, as I was not feeling that way at all, but was using the voice with that energy, as I was so used to expressing the difficult, the painful, the problem. Always first the difficult. No wonder my voice had got into that harshness. And my voice also changes a lot when I let go, when I surrender, after a session with an esoteric practitioner, when I express love.
Our voice is such a give away isn’t it! I would never have considered it till before and after a session with an esoteric practitioner as you mention, there was a lack of push, drive, persuasion in my voice and I heard it and felt it very clearly. From that marker, of hearing and feeling a difference, I have been able to be more aware and give myself a ‘session’ every time I open my mouth!!
ha ha Lucy that is commitment to be aware of the tone and expression of every word spoken, I recently had to listen to myself speak after being interviewed and my voice was so beautiful and sweet it really blew my perception of myself out of the water.
Good on you, others can hear it and say it but when we allow ourselves to hear it…that is powerful because the negative speak hasn’t had a look in.
I love the connection to the different peoples expression and the different Corols. Very beautiful. As I was reading this I understood too how silly it is to compare two peoples expression. Both are so different but just as beautiful and needed !
Yes Emily, that’s so true, everyone’s expression is unique but so needed, just like the links in a chain, take one out link and the chain breaks. Accepting our uniqueness, yet knowing we are part of the whole, allows for letting go of comparison and then we can truly begin to appreciate each other. Just like nature works together without comparison, so can we too, because we are part of nature, what a lovely reflection nature is.
When I speak it reflects back exactly where I am with myself, from saying something from being disconnected, to something that comes right from my heart. It is a very powerful marker, and reminder for myself when I don’t express in the fullness of me.
It is really interesting to consider how the disharmony we feel on the inside, if not attended to, is imposing on others. Often times when I am being hard on myself I think that it’s just going on inside of my head, my own little secret world of beating myself up and that it doesn’t have any impact on others if I just keep it too myself. However your blog absolutely blows the untruth of this totally out of the water Suzanne for the indulgence and abuse that it actually is. I can now see how ‘beating myself up’, not only hurts me, but that the self-abuse vibrates throughout my whole body, through every cell and out of every pore, and has no option but to come out of my mouth in this polluted form. Every word, every sound, every movement I utter in this disharmonious quality is quite simply abusive and imposing on the receiver. This is awesome to expose and disturbing to feel, but I am also really appreciative for the openness I feel within myself to explore and experiment with this more.
So true Stevie, we cannot hide any inner turmoil as it will find its way out in ways we have no control over and will that impose on others. To be honest, open and true with wat we feel and giving it true expression is such a healing, not only for ourselves but also for all people we meet. For me this is an art of life and something I just start to understand the amazing beauty and power it has.
There is no sense trying to be like anyone else, its enough to know that when I am in my body how much richer my voice is and allowing it to evolve into what it is naturally without any comparison. Our voices are such amazing parts of our expression.
My voice is a great indicator of where I am at- if it is hard, sounding flat / disconnected or if it has this vibrating, warm sound. Being aware of this it is amazing to read voices of others, that helps immensely to observe and understand.
I always find it interesting when I hear my voice say something that feels completey off. Often this will happen at work, where I occasionally slip in to an old pattern of trying to fit in and be like everyone else, usually by adding an agressive edge to the tone of my words. These days I’m aware of it the moment the words have left my mouth, and then I have an opportunity to snap out of it and not join in any further.
It’s with our own voices, our own words that we will come to be unified because each one of us contains a unique aspect of God that can not be represented or delivered by another. There is nothing more important in life than to allow one’s natural expression to flow as part of the grand orchestra of divinity – quite the opposite of the systems that on the one hand stress the importance of individuality and on the other demand that we conform and regurgitate that which does not come from within us.
Another great analogy and clear symbol to illustrate your story Suzanne, I am connected immediately to what you say when you use nature in this symbolic way. I am a master at doing my hair and makeup and dressing up to present myself as being more together than I really am but I can never truly mask how I am feeling because it is heard in the sound of my voice. And I agree wholeheartedly, that when I am not comfortable in my own skin, and something is troubling me then my voice can come across abrasive and non-caring which is the total opposite of me, and equally if I am trying to look like something or be like someone else it can be heard as an arrogance. It is horrible and this blog is a great reminder to always just be myself.
This was great to read Suzanne. I always pay attention when I have a sore throat, and I find when I acknowledge immediately that it is more than likely from a lack of expression and take the time to ponder on what is going on for me, it resolves the sore throat really quickly. It is beyond amazing how the body will reflect so clearly to us what is going on – we just have to be prepared to listen.
More recently, I’ve been reading various excerpts from books by Serge Benhayon out loud to myself. Its been interesting to hear and feel the deepening full-bodied quality of my own voice, and how my body responds and softens with the expression of truth in every word I read. I feel the responsibility to speak from the truth deep within me and the fullness of who I truly am as my words are not for me, but for all humanity.
Hi Barbara. I love to read out loud from the books by Serge Benhayon too – it works like a meditation for me because it connects me deeply to my body and the words resonate through my whole being. I find it can be a great way to wind down at the end of a day and develop my awareness at the same time.
It used to crack me up a lot when I heard people putting on a phone voice to sound more important or intelligent or something or change the way they spoke in different company but reading this blog made me aware of how my own voice changes at different times especially if I am not expressing fully.
I love what you have shared here Suzanne, it is so very common and something i have been bringing more awareness to within myself. How i speak, the tone i use at any given moment. It is so true that when we are not speaking from within us, from our bodies that it is easy to be expressing based on someone else’s view point, or ideals and beliefs. I certainly have a lot more awareness of this for me and continue to bring my true expression not anyone else’s.
We are exposed quite possibly to millions of different voices with our technologies today – a situation way different to how we lived in the past, where we may have known only relatively few people: no wonder, then, that there is, at times, confusion about our own voice when we have listened to a multitude of others, given that we do tend to copy and mimic what we like and what we don’t like. I feel there are many factors associated with losing one’s own voice – this sensory overload is definitely one contributing factor.
There is such a true joy in saying what you feel, from your heart and in a loving way. For years I felt that any voice outside me held more authority than me and I gave my power away to what another said. I’ve recently realised I can stay connected to me and express what I feel to say amongst a chorus of other voices, and enjoy simply being with me.
Comparison is such a poison and so limiting – constantly distracting us from who we truly are so we don’t focus on all the love, beauty, harmony and grace thats within every one of us, and is limitless.
Fabulous outcome for you kathleen. It tells me expression doesn’t stop at the voice, but that other parts of our body are telling us what’s going on inside us – there are many markers that are unique to me that reflect a love and acceptance of myself and conversely reflect judgement, or self worth energies in me too.
SO very wise gillrandall; our expression doesn’t stop at voice; movement, breath, thoughts, feelings et al make up the end result that is reflecting the truth of what’s going on inside. We may be able to hide for a short while what’s going on inside, but not consistently, as our expression one way or another will give us away for sure.
Yes, a wonderful and very wanted marker for me, Alison too.
Suzanne I love the way that you saw the opportunity in the sore throat to look deeply into how you were speaking, and that you were able to see how comparison diminishes us. I loved the analogy of the beautiful coral formations in crystal clear water, representing all our different expressions, and how together they make the reef.
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef”.
I love the analogy you use here Suzanne. You have inspired me to be more aware of where my expression is coming from
Awesome.
And when we compare ourselves with others, the world misses out on the amazingness of us.
Definitely not worth it I say.
Absolutely Thomas, we all have something unique to share and offer the world. Let’s not hold back!
The voice is a great marker. When I am not in my body and not connected to myself there is an emptiness in my voice, sometimes insecurity, harshness or any kind of emotion. Whereas the more I am in my body and connected to me the clearer, stronger and deeper becomes my voice and what I am saying.
Yes Jenny, this is something that i too have noticed and felt. The voice becomes a great marker or tool to have, as a way of checking in with ourselves. I particularly notice the sound, tone, and quality of my voice after i have had any esoteric bodywork sessions, theres a deeper richer tone that seems to come from my body rather that produced at the throat. Its quite exquisite to hear and feel, and in itself very healing to hear and recognise that this sound is generated from me. Learning to have consistently with this is a commitment to self care.
I agree Jenny, sometimes I notice my voice can sound more high pitched than normal and it is an opportunity to come back to my body and connect.
For us proud chameleons out there, this blog is a great reminder of the ills (literally) of choosing to emulate or adopt the pitch of other people’s voices at the expense of our own unique expression, our own unique essence. Trying to be something we are not – in anything – is always going to bring us discomfort eventually, because we’re working entirely against who we know we naturally and truly are.
Perhaps this is why a true role model is very hard to find. Most public figures, celebrities, sports stars – people often thought of as role models – are chameleons. They alter their expression according to the audience and theme they are targeting. For me, it is very easy now to see through this. I am looking for consistency in my role models, not a behaviour that makes me feel good about myself in that moment, but not true.
I find this experience amazing as it is simple proof that the deepening of our awareness unlocks the potential for a far truer, gentler, and deeply loving way of loving with all.
So true. It all matters, every detail, not only what comes out of our mouth. That is indeed the end result of all the choices I made before I spoke,
I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” This is great Suzanne I am sure we can all relate to this in many aspects of our lives. Bringing our unique expression feels so freeing.
‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another’ – so true, it really makes no sense to try to be like another person, yet we spend so much time and effort doing just that!
It is interesting how the voice changes concerning from which place I speak, if it is from an emotional or reactive place or coming from my stillness.
Yes kerstinsalzer15 I have watched this with myself also. When I speak from my stillness my voice comes from deep within, and resonates from my whole body, as if all of me is speaking, as opposed to my emotional or reactive voice which feels one dimensional and from the throat or head.
This is beautiful and very reflective to read and identify what we all know inside about our voice and what we say and where it comes from. I can relate to it very much and know that expressing through my voice truly and powerfully with me is an amazing feeling and that when I do not do this I cannot be heard and do not want to be really and it is very exposing.This is a huge subject and brings revelation and understanding and the need for healing our hurts and expressing our truth lovingly.
Suzanne I’ve been noticing recently how my voice and way I am can change in different situations and feeling that its not actually the situation that means my voice changes but in fact the way I approach it – do I come to that as me or as you and other share – do I come acting in some role or way I think I need to be or a role that gives me some form of attention.
Your comment David reminds me of what public figures do: they morph into a role, changing their voice, their appearance, their personality for the audience receiving them. There is nothing true or accepting about this behaviour. I think it all stems from a lack of self worth or self esteem is knowing they are enough as is, and no changing is ever needed. It is very very good I know many people personally that continue to show me I need never change who I am, because my way of expressing is fine if it comes from the true me.
Thank you David and Suzanne- I really connected to what you said about to not change yourself for another but to begin to create that relationship with ourselves to be connected to ourselves in any situation. “I will not sway” as Michael Benhayon so beautifully says in his lyrics. This is something I am working on.
I love the words you have written here Kathie – “..to sing the same notes is called unison, but when that changes into singing your ‘own part’ that is known as harmony.” – that is so beautifully expressed and those words sing to me.
Yes I understand what you mean, it sounds very different to speak naturally that way.
This is so powerful. I’ve recently begun a new profession and it’s illuminating to feel how I can take on the voice and demeanour of what I think I should look like within this role. These ideals and beliefs come entirely from observing others and are definitely not naturally me. What you’ve shared is really worth pondering on and has so many layers… thank you so much.
I agree Heidi, l am a teacher and lve noticed it’s quite easy in my profession to take on the “teachers tone” where the students are concerned.
For teachers it can be a harsh authoritative voice that signals “l’m in control and what l say goes”. I realise this caps communication and doesn’t leave room for true, open, sincere expression. I notice how I can take on the voice and demeanour of what I think I should look like within this environment.
This can also carry through to friends and family, when l am not myself. Thank you for the reminder to feel the true qualiy of me through my body and to be more aware of how this is reflected through my voice.
I know that ‘teacher’s voice’ Irena! My mum has used it many times! And there is also the ‘phone voice’. It is a personality adopted for that moment the phone is answered; I wonder if it’s because there isn’t enough self worth within to feel you don’t have to change yourself for another?
Yes Irena, I too can relate to taking on the tone of my profession at times, in my case ‘the manager’s voice’ which can be harsh and controlling’, which shocks me every time I hear it coming out of my mouth. By using this tone I’m saying ‘I have the control here and I’m really not interested in what you have to say right now’. Whereas what I’ve come to know about myself, similar to Suzanne, is that this impostor tone is nothing like the tenderness and deep care for other people I feel on the inside. It’s so great to expose this and I’m looking forward to exploring more with my voice in the workplace.
Agree Suzanne re phone voice, and even not just when we receive the call and pick up the phone, but also when we’re speaking in the office with other people of different levels of authority or importance like a ceo, colleague, reception staff etc. I recall noting the differences when I spoke with family or even certain friends, that my voice or accent would vary. How we like to measure what comes out of our mouths through voice – to get a result of alignment, agreement, likeability, acceptance, and how restrictive this feels when we become aware of what we’re doing and how far we’re changing to ‘fit in’. Voice carries a quality and expression of us through how we live, and so long as that quality is held, the true way of speaking will naturally be according to how it’s needing to be said or heard.
I can relate to putting on a different voice when I’m trying to get a particular response from the person I’m talking to. It’s strange to consider that I don’t think just being me and speaking in my normal voice will do. There is also an element of manipulation in the change that doesn’t feel very good. There are many interesting things this blog has brought up for me to contemplate.
The word ‘completely’ in your comment really stood out for me Matthew, its a straight choice between ‘yes’ and ‘no’, there are no maybe’s.
To give myself the permission to be the real you and to express from there- change the tone of my voice immediatly. It is an amazing experience to practise it and to feel the affect on the body.
Ah there is such relief when I let go of trying and just be myself. There is just such an allowance then to express what I bring in my own unique way.
“I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” Comparison is crippling. Every single one of us is important, bringing our piece to the whole. A jigsaw puzzle with just one piece missing can never be complete. But what sort of puzzle are we making? One of truth, joy, harmony with everyone and every-thing – or one of separation and individualism? Our choice.
Suzanne, I was drawn to read your blog again this morning – there is much for me to reflect upon with your words – thank you for sharing your wisdom and your experience of becoming more deeply aware of the impact of the quality and the resonance of the voice in expression.
It is wonderful to read how you felt that your expression didn’t reflect the real you and the other realisations that came from that. How beautiful it is to feel the congruency of expression matching the essence of the speaker, thanks Suzanne.
How true Patricia, there is so much variety and uniqueness in all of us yet together we are so connected and similar.
The voice is such a powerful instrument actually it is the oldest instrument. I have been singing more then ever recently and this has extended into how I speak. This new found awareness of my voice has changed the way I speak. I can feel if it is easy and free flowing or not.
I have found that in knowing my voice more it has aided me in expressing. It is like I have confidence in my voice and now more then ever I have confidence in saying what I have to say. Finding my voice as allowed me to open up more.
There is so much freedom when we accept that we are unique in our own expression and that we don’t have to try and match up to being like another. I know as I have started to claim this more it is quite a relief not to have to be anyone else but me.
I have just re-read this blog and, like Zofia, have had the same deepening of awareness that it “doesn’t make any sense to want to be like another, but instead to accept ourselves in our uniqueness”.
What a beautiful way to look at things more deeply and as I can see from the comments above one that everyone can relate to. My voice is deeper when I’m truly present within myself and at one with my body. I’ve also come to realise just how much drivel – as in pointless conversation – can come out of my mouth when I’m feeling anxious about something or trying to fill a silence that I feel uncomfortable with rather than sit with the feeling and ponder why I feel like that.
The voice is huge and it’s a greater marker to see how we are in ourselves and with others naturally. To be aware of your voice and these little ways is a step forward to taking a deeper level of responsibility in how we communicate to the world. Thank you Suzanne for sharing this.
Hi Suzanne, I very well know what you mean. I started a while ago to send voice messages instead of written ones which gives me the opportunity to not only feel while speaking but also to re-listen to what I have said. So I have a direct mirror to how I speak, how it feels in my body and how it feels while I am listening to it again. This is a very interesting tool for me to experiment with.
When i read this it brought to a moment of stop and i remember a friend recently saying to me that my voice did not sound like my voice….at the time was speaking with her i was angry about something so there was a harshness in my voice. I know those moments when i’m feeling loving and how beautiful my voice feels when i speak, it comes from my heart and as it expresses it has a depth and silkiness to it, even i love how it feels and sounds and i know others also enjoy it and open to listen..….I know many people who do not even like the sound of their voice and say that does not sound like me, could it be that we know what our true voice sounds like and when we hear different its because our voice is expressed from something else like an emotion….just as you, Suzanne have shared.
Absolutely Joel, and I feel so much more content within myself when I’m expressing in a way that is completely true to me.
Thank you for sharing this insight Suzanne. I find that when part of my expression doesn’t feel true, whether it is the way I am talking, walking, dressing or anything, it is a reminder for me to connect deeply to who I am and re-establish my sense of self and then express from this connection.
I notice this too Rebecca. I have also noticed that the more I am connected to my body the deeper my voice becomes, it feels like my voice is coming from inside my body, and the opposite is true, when I am in my head, or feeling emotional, my voice becomes higher and I start to speak faster and faster. Our voice is a very good indicator of where we are at!
What a great reminder that any harshness in our communication isn’t ever from who we truly are and so is harsh, and not just in our bodies but everybody’s body!
It is such a gift to realise you don’t have to sing the song on your own or stop singing because someone else is and/or “better than you at it.” It takes all of us to sing the song (maybe a strange metaphor but I’m going with it :-)!). I am realising that the comparison that you talk about holds humanity back so much because we choose not to say something because we won’t look as good as that person – or whatever the reason is – but it is our unique expression that makes up the whole. And when we hold back the whole is less. And this is not what is needed. It is our daily commitment to expressing yourself – without judgement and without comparison and not in perfection that will bring us back to singing as a whole. (yep went there again!).
Yes Sarah, holding back with our voice expression because of comparison is actually crippling…how many of us have stopped the joy of singing because of the idea ‘we can’t sing…’
It is amazing how the tone of my voice changes according to the quality of the movements I make.
Yes, that is connected to the tone of our voices, our movements…i know when i’m joyful and feeling loving my movements are tender and flowing as is my voice which becomes silky and from the heart….even i enjoy my voice in expression.
I agree Suzanne, ‘it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’ It seems so common in society that we compare ourselves to others and think someone is better than us in how they express, but we all have our own unique expression to bring to the world and they are all equally beautiful.
Thanks for sharing your insight Suzanne. I feel this is a great statement to be shared again and with all. “I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef”.
Thank you Suzanne for your deep honesty in this blog was beautiful to read. I agree it is time to appreciate and accept we all have our own unique expression.
This is gorgeous Stefanie moments like this show us that when we do not hold back our expression, how graceful each of our expressions can be in the unique quality that they offer and at the same time how they are part of a one divine whole that blesses everyone equally.
It’s worth dedicating your life to being yourself Michael.
Beautifully expressed Suzanne, it’s crippling to compare our-selves to others and the way they speak and express. The way you express is amazing the unique to you.
Our voices can tell us so much, the pitch, the tone, the words we use. I used to speak with a really high pitched voice and I still find when I am anxious it becomes higher again. I notice sometimes it will not be consistent and change throughout even one word. I also have compared/ judged myself and others with regards to the way we speak. As you say we are all here to express in our own way just like the multi colour coral.
‘We are truly this important’ – every single one of us, every single grain of sand – this is the beauty and urgency of our responsibility. Thank you, 1heart1love1earth.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to fit in with others, my family, my friends, never wanting to raise my head above the parapet and be true. It’s so freeing when you finally say : this is me – no excuses, no apologies.
I have for such a long time hated hearing my voice played back to me, be it on an answer machine or anything. I hear many people say the same. This article has inspired me to ponder why and supported me to see that it is because often times I am not letting my voice be a reflection of the true me. Lots of things are at play: wanting to fit in (I change the accent, rhythm and tone of my voice to match someone else’s), lack of trust in myself (another wanting to disappear into the crowd rather than simply express me), fear of rejection if I do not toe a party line and there is more, but if lots of us are doing one or all of the above then where is the richness of our unique and varied expressions (‘magnificently coloured corals’). Have we settled for grey uniformity as a mediocre comfy?
Just recently I have been supported by friends to realise that my voice is actually one of my greatest gifts and that in its quality is great stillness and grace. This has been a very beautiful wake up call. Right at my fingertips is a something that I can share freely every day, effortlessly. So, with appreciation and responsibility I am putting into practise spotting the times I modify my voice and then affording myself a little space and grace to let my voice by mine.
Beautiful Matilda, this is something I am gonna explore, this gift of my voice, because as you say I never like my voice when I hear it played back at me.
Beautiful Suzanne thank you for sharing this so clearly and lovingly to feel. The wisdom to learn to let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is is something I am learning in my life also and this resonates strongly. Our devine expression is what is needed and who we all truly are and it is bullding this that is bringing harmony and love with ourselves and everywhere.
Thank you Suzanne – you talk about a great subject and one that we generally pay little attention to. How we speak and how our voice comes across to another is so important and how something so small can affect our body. I know my body used to be very hard and the tone of my voice was hard. I can only share this as today I know there is a difference.
Once upon a time around 5 years ago, I attended a one day workshop where Serge Benhayon talked about “giving yourself permission to be the real you” or words to that effect. That was it – I immediately made the choice to be me with my voice that has a ‘common London accent” (so I am told). Gosh the relief of not having to be anyone else or sound like I am posh when I am clearly not was harmony to my body. My style has not changed and I find it easy as I am no longer pretending, trying or faking it. I accept more of me and how I write is how I talk and I really am not bothered what others think of me as I did in the past which was a big issue. As long as my expression in anyway is NOT harming anyone or anything then that works for me.
I love listening to an accent when a person is just being themselves … it is like music!
Suzanne I can feel how letting go of comparison and truly letting ones own voice and own expression out is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and society. It’s inspiring to read your appreciation on how each of us is unique like the coral but all equally glorious.
Yes Rebecca I agree. It is so beautiful to start to reflect on things like my voice feeling harsh or unnatural at times and see it as a little ‘heads up’ that I am not totally being myself or something is up.
This is great Matthew, looking back I used to be such a ‘yes man’ so learning to say no has been such a positive thing for me in the growth I have made as a person and a major improvement to my expression.
Thank you Suzanne, This blog is very timely for me. As I am only just now starting to appreciate the sound of my voice. I have spent a lifetime hating the sound of my voice, how sad is that !
Suzanne you have such a beautiful honesty and ability to self-reflect. With this brings such healing. As a practitioner I know a healing session is only as good as what the client is willing to bring. With your honesty and willingness to self-reflect you are your greatest practitioner and thank you as we all get to benefit from your observations.
I too can hear and feel the difference in the resonance when I speak. What I notice is the depth, clarity, and strength in my voice when I am just speaking from me. It is such a fantastic reflection to see where I am at.
“If I detect any tension or hardness in my voice it is a great opportunity to check in with my body and drop the tension.” – True, a great point you make here Rebecca Turner.
Hello Anne McRitchie, it’s great to appreciate the so called ‘differences’ we have as people as them being “all unique expressions from the same divine essence”. In this way it feels like we appreciate ourselves and what we bring but also appreciate everyone else in the same way. It is a great way to look at everything that also brings in a natural balance.
Thank you Suzanne, this is a beautifully supportive reminder for me. All to often I have held my voice back in times it’s called for. I can feel how in doing so I am not expressing, to not express is to not let out the light I am – and a little more colour is drained from the world – this can not be.
I recently facilitated a workshop for a class of 17 year old boys. At the start I was a bit shy because I put myself under the pressure of being a good presenter and having something to teach them. As a result my voice became thin and small. I had to push extra hard to project my voice. When I settled down into the workshop and just allowed myself to be me and equal with the participants, it became natural and easy. I just presented what there was to present and my voice became rounded and easy to project without force.
A beautiful appreciation of a stop moment and invitation presented by your body to honour the quality you hold within and become aware of the moments your outward expression does not match this. A brilliant insight that presents an invitation to all of us…thank you, Suzanne.
I love the insight you’ve shared that when we compare ourselves to others or even to an ideal we’ve created, we then judge ourselves and this hardness is expressed through our voice and in what we say, think and do.
I’ve felt how hard I’ve been on myself and how I’ve stiffened my body and my voice. It used to be very obvious in that whole sentences were clumsy and muddled. The more I stay in my body and am there supporting myself not criticising the more I can feel just how gentle and lovely my voice is.
It’s not just about the words it’s my whole body and voice expressing what I’m saying.
Yes Denise I can relate to what you share here in regards to hearing your true voice. I get glimpses at times of what my true voice is and it is super powerful. I can feel in my voice at times where the tones I use are a means of protection.
“I can feel in my voice at times where the tones I use are a means of protection.” – As I read your comment Donna Gianniotis, I can feel that I do this too.
I train to express my true voice since years now by the wonderful work of Chris James. This turned my life around. To really feel that every word I say is even healing or harming is really empowering and it can let me shy away from saying something at all… but this does not work because we express all the time – with or without words. We are always radiate the energy we are in. So, if I want it or not: I have a Voice! With this realization I decided to not fool myself any longer with the idea of I cut hide my expression and I claimed what I am in truth, accepted & appreciated what I am and then went on stage and sang for public…. I did know in this moment that what I presented was serving all. I did not do it to produce myself. I did it to share the beauty & grace of God witch I am reflecting and to inspire others to do so as well. It was and is an empowering statement to shine our light in full. I did and do it on stage and I work on to do so 24/7 on the stage of life.
It is a joyful responsibility to shine our light, to voice in our unique expression and I celebrate everyone how start to do so.
Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrating our Way!
Beautiful comment Sandra – to express ‘to share the beauty and grace of God.’ Imagine a world in which we all express in this way.
Sandra what you have written is very gorgeous. That you realised we are always expressing with or without words, and you chose to “share the beauty & grace of God” and “inspire others to do so as well”. This is what is reflected to me by Suzanne’s example of the diverse and magnificence colours in the reef: every one of us expressing in our fullness the beauty and grace of God that is within us.
Indeed Adele. Our unique expressions are the pieces in the big puzzle of human life. Only if each piece becomes visible, there will be a complete picture.
I notice when I am rushing, my voice is more high pitched, there is a feeling of nervous tension, and the words are blurted out.
Whereas when I am connected with me, my voice sounds deeper, my body feels more spacious and there is an effortless flow to my words.
Thanks Suzanne, having just completed a road show for workshops, I ended up with a sore throat and YES…it was absolutely about my expression and the degree to which I was relying on memory or my lived experience.
Our voices change in so many ways for us to observe what’s gong on in the body, when we honour ourselves the time and awareness to observe this.What a fantastic re-read to connect with.
A long time ago at a Universal Medicine event, Serge Benhayon shared that when we are connected to our innermost,we feel everything we sense – be it hearing, taste, touch, sight or smell. This gave me an understanding of how we can truly pick up what is being expressed by another, in its energetic quality and whether clear or anything being masked. The ongoing connection to feeling everything in life is a deeply enriching process, that requires just as much attention to how I am receiving and interpreting information as much as how others are communicating.
Indeed we are Anne and when we realise this truth and accept and embrace our own beautiful unique selves, it really doesn’t, as Suzzanne expressed “… make any sense at all to try to be like another”.
Rereading your blog I realized how comparison is a game which confirms us in being not enough or not good enough and how harmful this energy is. Our voice is a great tool for our unique expression and the appreciation of this expression.
The tone we use with words, that is a very big topic … and true it makes a huge difference to how people will hear us depending on what tone we use.
Once we all start singing in our true voice (and that can be with or without audible sound), there won’t be space for evil amongst men. As I start singing my Soul’s song, a whole new coral reef grows around me, my friends, family and loved ones to equal beauty.
Suzanne, as you so beautifully expressed, we all have our very own way of expression, being the way we voice something, how we move, or how we express on paper. When we express from our truth there is an amazing power that comes with that expression.
We cannot grow into something we are not naturally designed to be – as hard as we may try.
Finding a way back to ourselves and our essence and growing from an with it will let incredible beauty and a magical life unfold. A life full of wonders and true care – for ourselves and every one else.
Our voice is a great indicator of how we are living and what we are choosing. If I am feeling strained or tense in my thoughts and body then this comes through my voice instantly – I cannot hide the fact.
I can agree with you SusanG and it is not only my voice that has changed its rhythm and pitch but also the words I use. I am sometimes surprised what words do actually come out of my mouth when I have gone into any old form of self. The words that I unconsciously choose are not who I truly am but are protecting the hurts that I have not dealt with.
I know exactly what you meannvanhaastrecht. And I feel very different in my body when I speak from my Soul or when I speak to protect and defend myself in any way.
Very true susanG – my voice instantly reflects how I am feeling on the inside.
Absolutely. No hiding when we afford ourselves the grace to truly listen to our voices and the quality they emanate.
Suzanne, thank you for a timely blog. I have been aware for some when I hear and feel myself speak that something is often ‘off’. It just doesn’t seem to be ‘me’ that is using my voice and it seems forced and/or false. I have also been prone to sore throats over the years but didn’t see them as offering me golden opportunities to better understand this aspect of my expression. You have provided me with plenty of material to reflect on …
This is beautiful what you have written, I agree every single person is equally important as the next. There is no complete picture with anyone missing.
Super beautiful comment – ‘there is no complete picture with anyone missing’ – we are all in this together, pieces of a jigsaw that support the whole, thank you, Vicky.
Hello VIcky Cooke, a simple yet so revealing comment that should make any of us stand up and take notice, “There is no complete picture with anyone missing”. So we can go on irresponsibly thinking it’s only about us, or our family, our friends etc. But clearer and clearer it is coming through that it is in fact about all of us together, “every single person is equally important as the next”. Imagine if the world held this as true, where would we be? Thank you Vicky Cooke.
Yes Liane, absolutely. Our bodies don’t let us get away with anything…thank God!
I notice the harshness in my voice at times when i am expressing and realise that this feels like an old pattern that doesn’t belong to me. I am grateful for that awareness and to allow my own voice my own expression to come through.
I notice this too Susan. And all I have to do to let my natural voice come through is to drop the harshness that is covering it. It is naturally there underneath.
The disconnect for me feels like it is not me talking. I am an observer of words that are harsh and cold. Beautifully orchestrated, that awareness in that moment sets me up with a choice: quick change back to connection and me, or let the weird puppetry play out. A no-brainer of course but one that requires practise as old habits cling on.
That’s gorgeous simonwilliams8…now you know how your voice feels when you’re connected and when you’re not. My voice comes from my throat and it feels constricted when I’m not fully with myself, and when I am, I feel it deep in my chest and the sound just glides out. So much fun getting to know this about ourselves 🙂
The other thing that occurs to me also is to note that verbal expression and communication is just one aspect of expression, though often I tend to think it’s where expression stops and starts. But expression relates to how we are with everything and anything in any given moment… which leaves the comparison door open even wider. The sooner we can accept and rejoice in who we are and feel confident in expressing that on every level, the better.
Yes Victoria, our voice is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to expression.
Interesting story Dianne, thank you for sharing this. I remember that feeling as a child, at times doing something well or better than the others around me. Although it did give me a feeling of elation it did not hide how awful it truly felt as I put myself into comparison to them. Comparison is simply a poison and a pointless behaviour that only serves to impede our evolution back to harmony and brotherhood, our natural way of being.
By claiming and bringing out our unique expression without comparison, we are supporting the equality we all come from – great revelation, thank you Suzanne.
Absolutely Kate Chorley. This is as true music in my ears.
Great insights Suzanne, thank you. I suffered with sore throats for years and years, since I was a young child but thankfully now only rarely since I started working with my Universal Medicine-trained practitioners. I did however manifest a thyroid condition two years ago, which although is very much about other choices I’ve made throughout my life, is still obviously centred in the throat. Expression is so big for so many us and a hard nut to crack – especially the holding back part!
My voice has always been a great marker of how i am.
It was not until i began to listen to my body with more awareness that i now see how truthful a voice can be. The more we unburden ourselves with self criticism, comparison & low self esteem, underneath lies the purity of our true voice.
And how often is it that it is not so much what we say, but the tone of voice we say it in, is what causes people offence. Bringing attention not only to what we say but to our voice, could really change our relationships.
When sitting in large groups of people I know and there is interactive discussion, I love taking a moment to tune into the voice without having to look and “see” who it is that is speaking. Its a game I play with myself, to see how attuned I am to a person’s vibration – which is conveyed in their voice.
Such a beautiful and inspiring metaphor of our individual expression and gorgeousness together and as a whole….and so supportive in healing any comparison when the magnificence of each is deeply appreciated.
It seems right from young we are trained into comparison and competition. Yet whenever I have engaged with that game I have felt sad and lonely afterwards, as if the whole experience alienated me from everyone and from my own joy. And when I have been in a situation when each of us was inspired to shine, the result was unity and joy.
Very astute when you say: “I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.”
This is a very interesting way of looking at the expression of our voices Suzanne. I too often hear the harshness in my voice and compare it with other family members. I also stop and feel what energy I’m in.
Beautifully said, and so true Liane.
‘I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.’ I can so relate to this Suzanne, I have spent a lot of time in my life deciding that what I would like to say is not significant or ‘smart’ enough and have chosen to hold it back. I too am learning that we are all equally needed to make up the whole.
I love how unifying this blog is, and the sense of equality it brings.
Me too … all comparison must end for everybody’s sake.!
Like coral in a reef, we grow together and support each other in that, yet stay individuals. A reef will grow strongest when all corals grow constantly. Let’s grow constantly like the corals, stand together as closely and be nourished by what the tides of time bring to us.
I admire the depth of truth and honesty you have been prepared to go to , to write this blog.
Just the other day a little girl told me how she changes her voice so her friends will like her more.
She was really clear that she liked these other children and wanted to play with them but could feel they didn’t like her the same so she knew ”she had to talk more like them so they would play with her”. I asked her how she manages to change her voice and she said ” easy, I just eat sugar because that makes me different to me”
I sat there in awe listening to the absolutely gorgeous honesty in this child and we all shared how lovely it felt in our bodies just listening to her talking in her real voice.
Comparison is indeed destructive and crippling. We all have our own unique expression. It makes no sense to compare.
“…to compare ourselves to other people and express in a way that is not our true nature is a massive poison and a pollution…” Love this Joseph!
Yes, me too! Seeing dead coral feels such a waste when coral is so vibrant and alive. The beauty is that when its not being poisoned it grows back as if it were never poisoned.
Oh and I am currently experiencing a sore throat and losing my voice. When I stopped for a moment to connect with what my body was saying with this, I realised my body was releasing the trauma of not having been speaking with my delicateness, instead there has been a tendency to speak with a hardness. This is an amazing clearing of the old way and making space for me to now embrace speaking with more of me and my natural delicateness. YAY!
I can relate to that Robyn, the hardness. It’s so interesting how our voices mirror what we are holding on to or reacting to.
Great sharing Suzanne It reminded me of a message I got some 10 years ago when my hip started to give trouble and I was pondering on what was going on for me that was causing this loss of flexibility. The message I felt I was getting from my body was that if I didn’t walk my own walk then eventually I would not be able to walk at all. And sure enough the problem got worse until I started to seriously shed all the ideals I held of how I ‘should be’. With great support from my sessions with Curtis Benhayon | Universal Medicine Practitioner I am now able to walk my own walk. This is a bit like talking one’s own talk.
Thanks Suzanne for this great blog. I remember growing up not liking the sound of my own voice. Looking back now I realise it is because it didn’t really sound like me instead it sounded hollow. Recently I heard a recording of my voice and it was so different. I was able to feel me in my voice, instead of hollowness there was tenderness, rawness and loveliness.
I love the simplicity of this blog Suzanne but how profound what you present is. I know the feeling of a strain or struggle in my voice and it is as you’ve said, when I’m not being me. This sentence sums it all up beautifully “I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety”
I love this sharing Suzanne, It is incredible how much or how little my expression can change through the contact of others and that is all down to not feeling confident in my expression in the first place, leaving myself susceptible to change for others. I find the way that I talk, when I really hear what I sound like, can act as such a prominent marker for the confidence and quality of the way I have been living
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.” Such a beautiful analogy Suzanne. We altogether make up the whole, yet each of us is unique. Note to self; No comparison necessary.
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole” So true Suzanne what a great realisation. The world needs our own unique expression when we hold this back we can fall into comparison and jealousy as we know we are not living our truth.
I love what you share here and how our bodies are always letting us know what is really going on.
Haha, I agree Liane. How can we expect to not get a sore throat when we don’t say the things we feel to say.
I have loved reading the blog and comments and will be more aware of how my voice sounds and feels. What I have noticed is that if I hold back or do not say everything I want to say, I will get a sore right tonsil. On most occasions it will go quickly if I realise what I have done and why.
That’s magical, isn’t it? If we listen to the subtle cues from our bodies we can sometimes heal without needing to go through a much longer physical process.
It is great observing what comes out of our mouths – especially when things come out which I have no idea where they came from! And other times when i start saying something but half way through the words seem to change and then come out completely differently. It usually happens when I am trying to fit in with others and so adapt what I am saying – the problem here is it often comes out quite mixed and they don’t really understand what I am saying!
The old expression ‘Did you hear what you were saying’ normally in a state of misbelief; those words were never uttered after someone who was speaking the truth. So, where did those words come from?
Imagine all of us would have ‘one voice’ and when we are in harmony we have this harmonious sound in our voice which unifies everyone.
Our voice and what it sounds like is a great marker. I know instantly if I’m not with me, it’s like it is impossible to hide with speaking.
I feel this too Matthew, ‘I know instantly if I’m not with me, it’s like it is impossible to hide with speaking.’ If i feel a bit annoyed or in reaction it comes out in my voice, however nice im trying to make it sound, my partner and son pick up on this straight away.
That is true Matthew, there is no hiding when we speak. In connection my voice comes from a deeper place and when I am not in connection it sometimes wants to catch a train. Even if we try to speak in a kind way when we are actually upset about something, we can feel and hear it in our voice.
Thank you Suzanne. I have noticed how much deeper, and more naturally powerful my voice is when I feel very connected to my body. I find at these times i can actually enjoy my voice and what I offer others when I speak. At other times, when I feel a degree of tension in my body, my voice sounds different, held back and it is uncomfortable to speak. I hand’t really explored how this relates to comparison but am sure there is a component of this in the tension I feel and why it has built up, well before I go to speak, so great to explore this further.
I feel that too Simon, the way my voice can resonate when I’m connected and not feel right when I’m not.
Great Article! Thank you for sharing. For me, expression is something that is ever evolving, involves whole body (not just throat) and there is a feeling of freedom and fullness in delivery.
Great blog Suzanne highlighting how each and every one of our own unique expressions is essential to the bigger picture and that comparison is the greatest of squashers!
I enjoyed reading your blog Suzanne, thank you. I have also struggled with my vocal expression in my life, often comparing myself unfavourably with others and holding back my expression. I shall remember the different’ magnificently coloured coral ‘ that you write about as a metaphor for our ‘own unique expression’. I also found your blog and other comments very helpful on how true expression feels in the body. I shall enjoy practising being more aware of whether I am expressing from my body or my head.
If I live in a different place for long enough I pick up a different accent, especially if it helps me get understood. If it’s a foreign place I even pick up a new language. They are all the true me. My voice is forever evolving.
Strong words Kylie, well said.
Great comment Joel. For me, it wasn’t always about “trying to share from what I think people want/need” . Rather, it was ‘trying to share in a way that another person thought I should share”.
I agree we should be sharing from our lived experience.
Comparison is crippling. I was under the illusion that I was not good enough because I could not engage in intellectual conversation about legal matters. I seemed to be surrounded by brilliant minds and I made myself less because I thought I could not contribute to the conversation. Now I am starting to appreciate the depth and beauty of what I can offer and I am finding my voice again. I realize now, as you did Suzanne, “the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid”.
It’s gorgeous isn’t it Sandra when we find our voices again though appreciating the uniqueness of expression that we all bring!
My mother never liked the way the kids at my school spoke and was always correcting me when I spoke like them. When I spoke like my mother did at school the kids would laugh at me and not always in a nice way so I had two ways of speaking at a young age.
It’s beautiful, what you say Mariette, “We are all needed and therefore, all of our expressions are needed”.
I love your blog Suzanne. Comparison sure is destructive and crippling. Diversity reigns supreme. We can grow up aping and mimicking each other as a game which some of us are naturally good at and I guess become real life actors. As I have got older I have tried to isolate just the one real me.
Thank you Suzanne for this inspiring blog. I have often wondered why my voice felt so different in different situations – now I can grasp that this voice I have been irritated about simply did not sound like mine, because I was not me then. Simple :o)
I began to notice that when I held back from expressing something, wanted to speak but didnt or told myself I didnt have anything valid to say, in effect stifling myself, I would get a lump in my throat like a golf ball sitting there. It felt awful, like food stuck in my throat. This has eventually cleared with the commitment to be more loving and less judgemental with myself so if it happens now I am aware of it before it can fully lodge itself there again. “She/he loves the sound of her/his own voice” is often a disparaging remark made to someone who talks too much or is a bit arrogant with it. However when I speak now from the tender and loving place I know to be truly me, I do find that I love the sound of my own voice! It feels like a gentle vibration through out my whole body. Equally, I love the sound of another’s voice when they are speaking from that deep connection to their unique selves with no reservation. It hums in the heart.
Beautiful Suzanne, I feel inspired to pay closer attention to the sound of my own voice, and what I am expressing, and if this is a true reflection of what I am feeling.
Me too mccannelizabeth – the sound of my voice is a great marker of how I feel and the quality that I’m in in that moment, a great example of this is how when I feel let down, frustrated or annoyed with others my voice becomes very cold and harsh.
I agree Susie, the frustration and annoyance that can occur often causes me to speak or bark in a very hard and cutting way as if I am trying to make these people pay for the way I feel. This way of expressing makes me feel quite alone compared to when I express freely in a supportive way when I am feeling great.
Often people will make a comment about someone ‘loving the sound of their own voice’, referring to someone being arrogant or ‘up themselves’. Rather than continue to buy into that, let’s turn it around. Why wouldn’t I want to love the sound of my own voice? What’s more, I’d rather be ‘up myself’ than down on myself!
I hear you Susie! What interesting instruments our voices are… instruments that can be wielded in any number of ways, from the blunt, harsh and cutting to the exquisitely delicate and tender. You could say we all have a pretty good range –opera singers move over!
Yes mccannelizabeth, a great inspiration and reminder that the sound of our voice can tell us where we are at and expose what is going on on the inside.
Since first reading your blog, Suzanne, I have been reflecting on the times when I use a different voice for different people or different occasions, and that these voices are false, rather like wearing masks, and conceal my true voice. Probably this is to protect myself, or to cover up my lack of confidence. However, I know when I am living true to me and appreciating all that I am, my voice comes out true too, and it is much more resonant and deeply felt in my body. So the false voices, when I catch myself using them, are a great way of recognising when I am separating from myself and I can become aware of what is going on.
Years ago someone pointed out to me I used different voices for different situations – a work voice and a non-work voice in particular. I had no idea – and it took me a long time to realise it was true. As I’ve attended presentations with Serge Benhayon I’ve learnt to be the real me and, as I have, my voice has become more consistent and authentic too. The gap between any persona I might adopt and the true me is much, much narrower and the personas are no longer needed either.
I love that – “our Heart Voice”. I used to call it the ‘Voice of my Soul’, and that’s actually what it feels like.
That’s exactly how it feels to me too Annie – positively liberating.
Thank you for sharing this Suzanne. As I read this I was pondering on my voice and the realisation that while I don’t think my voice is ever particularly harsh – the way I say things can be and does not reflect the tenderness that I usually feel. This is something I will continue to ponder on to establish why this is inconsistency with my expression and who I am has come to exist and why I feel reluctant to express the tenderness that I feel.
Yes me too merrileepettinato. My true voice comes from a particular resonance in my whole body also. I love that feeling and I love the feeling in those instances of being very connected with myself.
Great blog Suzanne, I have stifled my true expression all of my life; but thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon I am opening up to allowing the true me to express. I love that fact that we each have our own unique expression.
I love that too Lynda. We have our own unique expression and it is gorgeous watching people open up and allow this true expression through.
Me too Lynda to the point where it was making me ill. From the teachings of Serge Benhayon I am turning this round and am learning to express myself and my truth which has turned around my health.
Yes, Sara, and there is so much more we can express and our voice then becomes more and more whole.
I love how you have expressed, Sandra “what ever we say with truth is our unique expression”. That makes such sense. We are being ourselves when we speak with truth.
Susan Lee, I can relate what you are saying. When I feel a lack of self worth, I speak with a small voice that people have a problem in hearing. Gradually learning to claim myself, amazing the power I feel when I do that, and my voice is so different.
I agree Beverley – our voices have a more spherical and inclusive feeling when we are claiming who we are and our whole body comes alive. When I speak in a ‘small voice’ I am now realising that I go into the behaviour of being a victim again and this is just me trying to gain identification. It feels so perverse that I would go out of my way to minimise who I am in order to gain a place in the world – even that of a victim!
This is beautiful Kathryn. Love it “use your heart voice”, I am going to borrow that one 🙂
Since being more aware of my voice and the realisation the impact this has not just on myself but others who listen to me when I’m expressing – the quality and tone changes considerably with how I’m feeling at the time. In the past if I have lost my voice because of a sore throat or a constant tickle did I really appreciate the wonderful gift of speech and communication. Being ‘without’ really brings the focus back to appreciating these gifts and to take more care of how we live and self nurture. Thank you Suzanne a great blog to return too.
Yes I am confirmed through my voice when I am speaking from truth because there is a rich, deep resonance to my tone. It is something that I feel I need to pay more attention to as I know I censor what I say quite often and hold back that truth from coming out. In letting go of getting it right or ok for another I give myself permission to simply express naturally without worry or fear of the reaction.
When I am talking with my real voice it resonates through my chest and is quite low, my speech flows, when I am emotional or trying to be someone I’m not it goes into my throat, feels restricted and higher, jerky with words. It’s fascinating when you start to notice these things. Great blog Suzanne.
I can relate to this too. How awkward we can be and sound when we’re not truly ourselves. Nerves will do it too – when we’re feeling anxious about needing to sound a certain way or ‘perform’. In other words, living outside of ourselves in that moment.
Currently I have a sore throat too and I can fully relate to what you write Suzanne Anderssen. I also can feel harshness in my voice and in the occasions I do feel that I can also feel that what I say is not me, but from a guard I have put in front of me to protect my hurts. From this I have to take conscious choices to stop this way of expression and to allow myself to feel why I have the tendency to react like that and from there to heal the hurts that are the underlaying causes of this way of reacting. That is the responsibility I have to all people I live with.
Beautifully and simply expressed Joan – we are all equal and when we are feeling less it is because of our unresolved hurts, so we react instead of respond and this is heard in our voice….reconnecting with our love within, our voice changes too, it becomes much more tender, our voice can reveal so much.
I find it really amazing to listen to my voice and I now always notice when I notice it doesn’t sound like me. The more I pay attention the more I can glean from the sound of my voice. When it resonates deeply through my whole body and I can feel expansion when I speak, I know I am connected to me. It still makes me laugh a bit when I speak out loud and it is so noticeably not the voice I am now used to – great reflection for taking stock of where I am at!