Being told at the age of 28 to either have children now or risk the chance of never having them was not something I had counted on happening.

Nor had I expected to be told that even if I did by some slim chance conceive, the chance of having a normal, healthy pregnancy was slight, and that the birth would be tainted with all sorts of initial problems, as well as the fact I may not even be able to carry full term due to the scarring and lesions that previous operations had left on my cervix.

Basically, if I did conceive there was the potential for many problems to follow, more than most doctors wanted to deal with.

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I had known for many years that I had become a victim of time. I always felt that there was never enough time to meet all the deadlines that life and my profession demanded. ‘Tempus fugit’ and ‘time waits for no-one’ were haunting conceptual spectres which dominated my life and, in spite of being clever enough to work out some excellent time management strategies that were much commended by my colleagues, the truth my body revealed, indicated that I was exhausting myself with my breathless and compulsive ‘hamster on a wheel’ existence.

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Alcohol is Not Normal

November 17, 2014 — 256 Comments

I grew up in a family with a lot of alcohol. A lot. My mother was and is an alcoholic, though to single her out as the only alcoholic is in fact the very first step in society’s clever and insidious avoidance of the whole picture.

An addict is defined as someone who is “…dependent on a substance and has formed a physical and/or psychological habit around that substance…

Which also exactly describes my father’s relationship with alcohol and all of his friends. Because they all ‘needed’ to drink pretty much every single day. And all did. They were all “…dependent on a substance and had formed a physical and/or psychological habit around that substance….” Continue Reading…

I recently took the time to reflect back on understanding my life, the choices I have made, and how these choices affected me.

Writing the blog ‘From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love’ allowed room for me to take time to truly reflect on understanding life in a true sense, and for the self-appreciation that I now know I deserve.

I have gone from someone who only thought about keeping her children warm, fed and safe (or what I deemed to be safe at the time) while giving no thought or concern to my own well-being, to a woman who now naturally does this for herself. This is nothing short of an amazing transformation. I went from hating myself deeply with every thought and action to having a conscious understanding of why I was doing this and replacing these thoughts with more understanding and care for myself. This inner appreciation slowly made way for much more Love and beauty to expand in my body.

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“A teacher must be CELEBRATED and HONOURED in everything they are and in everything they bring, EACH AND EVERY DAY! Equal to this, they must be given ALL the tools of how to do this for THEMSELVES, that is, to truly celebrate and honour all that they are and all that they bring to our lives.” [Michael Benhayon, Director, Teachers are Gold! Project] 

I recently had an amazing conversation with Michael Benhayon – founder of the Teachers are Gold Project – about how I had been feeling at school and teaching; stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated with the education system and all the ‘extra’ work I had to do. Only two weeks into school term I was becoming a teacher I didn’t want to be, exhausted and looking forward to the end of the week so I could come home and rest. Continue Reading…

All my life I’ve been a fixer – I’ve listened to other people’s problems, felt that I’ve known exactly what they needed to do to resolve their issues, and been convinced that I was right, and then told them what they should do. In doing so I have taken on the responsibility for fixing whatever their problem is. I’ve spent hours thinking about different scenarios of how I could tell them, thinking of all the different things they needed to do to get a perfect result – and in doing so I have been distracted from living my own life. Continue Reading…