All my life I have been blowing in the wind, bending this way and that, adapting to my environment, trying to establish a control over all my relationships so that I wouldn’t get hurt. At school when I was teased I pretended I was OK, I was tough, I didn’t need anyone and shut everyone out. I tried to be ‘good’ and not upset any of the teachers.
For all the relationship advice I have received over the years, I can safely say that little of it served me well; if anything it contributed only to the fact that I stayed in relationships that I really ought to have ended long before I did. In fact some of them I never should have started!
I do recall my mother’s not-so-sage advice when I was embarking on my first serious relationship where she said, “try living with three different men before you decide to marry as you don’t really know someone until you live with them!” Even when she told me that something in me thought, “But what if I decide it should have been the first or second one and l’ve already moved on!” Continue reading “Relationship Advice”
I was going to write this blog from the perspective that I was in an abusive relationship with my partner, and he was the perpetrator, and I the victim. I genuinely believed this, at least, until… I started getting really deeply honest and truth-full with myself. Continue reading “The Truth about the Cycle of Abuse”
Have you ever stopped to consider if there is a difference between having sex and making love? That the way you live, the quality you choose to live in and from, govern whether you have sex or make love?
These are questions I never pondered on, never considering that there may be a difference between making love and having sex.
Making love is more than what happens between the sheets: it’s a way of living, a touch, a gaze, and a gesture in every movement in me, and in another. Continue reading “Developing Intimacy with Myself & Making Love”
After dinner we decided to have some walnuts that, although dating from last year’s harvest and looking dull on the outside, still tasted magnificent. One of them split exactly in half and what we saw brought joy-full laughter and a deeper understanding to our dinner table.
Recently I read a blog called “A Sharing for Men About Women.” It was an eye-opening blog for it started to challenge how we should look to define abuse in relationships.
In short, this blog was asking us to consider that anything less than a truly open and loving relationship between two people should be seen as abusive. Continue reading “The Light of Comparison and Relationships”