I’ve never considered myself to be reckless. Even as a teenager I was the one who always ‘looked before I leapt’. However, I did not live a cotton wool-padded life. As a mid-baby boomer with two working parents I grew up with bare feet, no bike helmet, no sunblock, lots of sharp objects, bare electricals, toxic and explosive stuff hanging around accessibly, and deadly plants and spiders in the garden. Also, I had plenty of unsupervised freedom to roam the neighbourhood and the local forests, creeks and storm drains. Many other kids suffered breaks, lacerations, concussions and other injuries due to recklessness. But, me, not so much. With enormous energy and zest for life, I ran, jumped, climbed, rode, splashed, explored, poked and prodded to my heart’s content, but quite consciously and aware of my body, movements and surroundings. Continue reading “The Scale of Recklessness”
What if life did not have to be a struggle, but could instead flow in a harmonious way without the usual fight for survival against all the things we feel are not right in the world?
I recently came to the above conclusion after what felt like lifetimes of fighting all those aspects of society that seemed corrupt, cruel and abusive in any way and trying to save everyone that I felt was calling out for help. Having always been the one to be in reaction to things like parents yelling at their kids in the grocery store or calling out a manager at work for speaking in an abusive and disrespectful way, I took it upon myself to be the ‘warrior of truth.’ It felt like it was my responsibility to save other people from the cruelty of the world and fix all their problems as if they were my responsibility. Continue reading “No Reason to Fight”
As I have been connecting with greater depth and awareness to my body, I can feel the shifts and the changes – the delicate and powerful way that each moment impacts upon the next. This has been an ongoing relationship for me since my mid-forties and one that has been forever unfolding. Continue reading “Is my Body the Microcosm of the Macrocosm that is the Universe?”
All my life I have been blowing in the wind, bending this way and that, adapting to my environment, trying to establish a control over all my relationships so that I wouldn’t get hurt. At school when I was teased I pretended I was OK, I was tough, I didn’t need anyone and shut everyone out. I tried to be ‘good’ and not upset any of the teachers.
I used to consider abuse as something that wasn’t part of my life. I saw it in the news, films and read about it in papers. Abuse to me was extreme: extreme cases of violence, beheadings, bombings, attacks, rapes, fighting, shootings, stabbings, war, domestic violence, shouting, swearing and attacking people, someone physically self-harming or cutting themselves. Never once did I consider that abuse – which we all normalise and make okay, which we turn a blind eye to daily – is in all our lives.
I came to the loving understanding at the age of 63 that I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is, and how it truly works.
Suppression was a behaviour that I would go to when I felt defeated and crushed and it seemed the way to avoid not wanting to deal with situations every time I felt overwhelmed and could not cope with life.
At a young age I could feel everything. But I never knew that the body I lived in was sensitive, fragile, delicate and that it has the wisdom of knowing, the power of healing and bringing all that is needed from a place within me that is divine and full of love. Continue reading “Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse”