What if life did not have to be a struggle, but could instead flow in a harmonious way without the usual fight for survival against all the things we feel are not right in the world?
I recently came to the above conclusion after what felt like lifetimes of fighting all those aspects of society that seemed corrupt, cruel and abusive in any way and trying to save everyone that I felt was calling out for help. Having always been the one to be in reaction to things like parents yelling at their kids in the grocery store or calling out a manager at work for speaking in an abusive and disrespectful way, I took it upon myself to be the ‘warrior of truth.’ It felt like it was my responsibility to save other people from the cruelty of the world and fix all their problems as if they were my responsibility.
It was this approach of taking on the role of the defender of those I felt were not able or willing to stand up to abuse (especially from authority figures) that resulted in living a rollercoaster of emotional reactions and in the end, a massive amount of exhaustion in my body and a feeling of fighting a never-ending battle, like walking on an endless treadmill but going nowhere.
This obviously became disheartening when it seemed that no matter how many times I went to human resources or called out the corruption, manipulation, lies and abusive behaviours I had seen and personally experienced in all the jobs I have had, nothing really seemed to change insofar as company policy or from those personally responsible for the abuse. After witnessing time and again nothing being done to address these issues by management or in personal relationships, there was a tendency for me to withdraw from both those work situations and from the people I felt were rejecting me or what I was offering in the way of the truth and what was needed to help bring more love and harmony there.
I feel that many people who are very sensitive can probably relate to many of the situations I have previously mentioned. But what I have found is just how much I was using this divine sensitivity in an unsupportive way. For instance, taking on other people’s problems and the burden of their own issues as if they were my own was coming from a judgement that they were not capable of handling the situation on their own and learning/healing what was being offered to address based on their past history.
I now realise how this is both dishonouring of them and myself: when I was walking around with both my own issues and the weight of other’s on my shoulders, it brought on a feeling of overwhelm, as if it was understandably too much to handle. So in a way I was using emotional reactions (getting upset, complaining, gossiping, calling things out, etc.) to avoid simply using that great sensitivity I had to energetically read the situation that was presenting itself, thereby gaining more awareness that enabled me to have more compassion and understanding for the person perpetrating the abuse.
When I held them in the knowingness that we are all equal at the level of our souls and have all had various life events and hurts that may have been the underlying cause for their harmful actions, it allowed me to let go of my need to change them based on the pictures and expectations I had created coming into the situation about what a harmonious job/relationship should look like.
This also relates to how much I have not been in so much reaction to the massive level of corruption that occurs on a global scale with corporate greed, politics, industrial-military complexes, domestic abuse, war, slavery, etc. Although we should never accept any of these things as ‘the norm’ or ‘it will always be that way,’ I feel that a certain level of acceptance that it is temporarily that way can be healthy as long as we allow ourselves to feel how much we know this is not our true way of being. This can once again lead to more understanding and maintain a love of people without giving up on them or judging them, which ironically is actually solidifying a notion that they are nothing more than lesser beings and will never change – both of which are not true and counter to what we really want to see in the world!
I also realised that running away from situations and withdrawing when I felt what I was offering was not being accepted will never solve anything and is a disservice as I am then not trusting others to come to their own understanding in their own time and space, and also not offering the reflection of love and truth that I hold naturally within me.
On a deeper level, there was an aspect of me just trying to fix things that I felt were wrong with the world in order to not feel the pain and suffering that I was so sensitive to. But holding others in a lesser state as if they can’t handle certain life challenges based on their own past and karma is not honouring at the least and can be a way for them to stay the victim and never evolve at the worst when someone else comes in to ‘save the day’. They simply live up (or down in this case) to the expectations and labelling imposed upon them.
Although I am in the fledgling stage of all these developments, I have recently experienced a flow and harmony at work that was previously unattained, with greater communication, understanding and appreciation all around, and working in a way with my team and managers that feels like true brotherhood, even if there are lies and other manipulations occurring on other levels, which I now express concern about in a way that does not trigger further reactions. I feel it is this willingness to go deeper with our relationships with greater understanding – simply living in a loving and deeply caring way for ourselves and in our work and families – that will then inspire others to make similar life choices: the pressure and weight of the world seems to have lifted from my shoulders because of it.
Finally ‘putting down the sword,’ I am no longer fighting the world, but simply being me to my fullest within it. And that is enough!
By Michael Goodhart, Aircraft Technician, B.A. Psychology, Lover of Nature and being playful with life, North Carolina, USA