The Scale of Recklessness

I’ve never considered myself to be reckless. Even as a teenager I was the one who always ‘looked before I leapt’. However, I did not live a cotton wool-padded life. As a mid-baby boomer with two working parents I grew up with bare feet, no bike helmet, no sunblock, lots of sharp objects, bare electricals, toxic and explosive stuff hanging around accessibly, and deadly plants and spiders in the garden. Also, I had plenty of unsupervised freedom to roam the neighbourhood and the local forests, creeks and storm drains. Many other kids suffered breaks, lacerations, concussions and other injuries due to recklessness. But, me, not so much. With enormous energy and zest for life, I ran, jumped, climbed, rode, splashed, explored, poked and prodded to my heart’s content, but quite consciously and aware of my body, movements and surroundings.

As an adult, that extended to bushwalking, scuba diving, snorkelling, windsurfing, woodwork, scientific laboratory research, house renovating, raising step-kids and various other activities with plenty of scope for getting hurt. And get hurt I did. As an adult, some of that earlier self-care fell away.

  • My hand was sliced open by a glass breaking whilst drying the dishes.
  • Wrist artery sliced open while trying to cut a big block of wax to make candles.
  • Serious mid-spinal injury trying to catch a falling pig carcass in the lab.
  • Electrocuted by a light socket while doing repairs.
  • Lower back whiplashed by a dumper wave while body surfing.
  • Neck whiplashed as a sleeping passenger in a car because I stayed up too late the night before.
  • Nearly drowned in an ocean rip because I went body surfing right after having the flu.
  • Hip ligaments torn jogging too far on concrete pavements.
  • Bare toe trodden on by a full-size horse.
  • Thumb ripped backwards in a ski crash in New Zealand.
  • A 60 kilometre per hour meeting of my head and elbow with the road when I came off a bicycle, going helmetless down a mountain in Japan.
  • Herniated lower spinal disk lifting something too heavy while angry.
  • Bitten by two deadly venomous snakes while not fully present during a couple of incidents of being in reaction to other people’s abusiveness, and more.

You get the picture!

Now I have one leg longer than the other, which exacerbates the spinal injuries. Constant headaches and cramps from the wrecked neck. Constant pain and various levels of disability from the ruined lower vertebral disks. Frequent excruciating pain and joint distortion in my ‘skier’s thumb’. Metal pins and rearranged anatomy in my shoulder. Uneven vision due to retinal damage in one eye. Visible scars.

These things are all blatant and obvious as immediate consequences of actions, movements made with too little stillness preceding them. I became more careful with my body, gradually returning to how I was as a very sensible, grounded child fully participating in life but with care and awareness. And yet….

How about the dangerous and uncomfortable side effects of chronic medications to control the rhythm of my heart because of atrial fibrillation contracted from a parasitic disease from rats as I lived in a contaminated house due to not stopping to discern the house’s suitability before signing the rental agreement?

Or a serious, potentially crippling split in the capsule around my knee joint because I stood up too fast from kneeling too long because I was so focussed on what I was doing instead of positioning my body supportively and not feeling calls from it when it had enough already?

Every moment in life is a fork in the road with subtle differences between the possible ways of moving. Each movement following any level of unawareness, lack of presence, or any degree of checking out or getting ahead of oneself is a disaster waiting to happen. If not right away, then unfolding gradually down the track.

These kinds of experiences and many more like it have shown me that there is a scale of recklessness; an experience-based progression of reducing the self-abuse and disregard with which we treat our bodies. However, is it possible that even as we become more careful and more aware and no longer race around oblivious to likely consequences, it is as if we are still driving forward but looking back in the rearview mirror with our foot pressed firmly on the throttle?

We are living both ahead of and behind our present movements, instead of focussing our sensitivity on the present moment so that we can feel what’s coming. We stuff up and then go over the lesson and review how we moved inappropriately that led to the hassles, dramas and hurts we suffered. It’s very good to look at the past and learn from mistakes rather than dismissing them as ‘all behind, move on’ and repeating the same stuff over and over. But it’s also not good to dwell in the miseries and self-flagellation of past mistakes instead of being so present, open and self-appreciative that we can sense ahead of time. I always say: “Drop the guilt but keep the lessons.” But there’s way more. Thanks to Serge Benhayon for expanding my understanding of presence and movement beyond anything I had come to before in my adult life.

It’s a platform that never stops evolving. The bar can always be raised a bit more. Nowadays I even check my presence and awareness in just leaning against a table. If I’m a little bit out of my full presence, it actually hurts to lean gently on the table! Even thinking about something less than ideal for my sensitive body hurts in an intangible way. The meter on the scale of recklessness (and disregard and abuse) is being tuned finer and finer and will continue to be. It now includes all humanity. If I make a move with my body or my mind from an energy that hurts me, even subtly, then it hurts everyone.

But it’s not all doom and gloom by any means. I can allow myself to be on the front foot lovingly and joyfully – aware and unafraid to live life to the full. And… with all my painful reminders to never drop my level of awareness and energetic responsibility!

By Dianne Trussell, BSc Hons, Scientist, Lismore, NSW

Further reading:
A Relationship with Stillness
The Body is a Temple for the Soul
The Power of Rest

37 thoughts on “The Scale of Recklessness

  1. We live in a world full of fantasization, romanticization and idolization of a life lived full of thrilling and unique experiences; the more extreme the better, the more dangerous the merrier, the more death-defying the more merits given. Scars and wounds are worshipped like evidence of bravery, of true ‘carpe diem’, of breaking free from the mundane norm, of courageously staring death in the face. More and more we are encouraged to jump off a plane, off a cliff, off a bridge all in the name of thrill and of making our marks as ‘overcoming fears’. More and more we are encouraged to take risks by leaving behind our ‘boring’ life in chase of the ancient nomadic way of living. More and more we are encouraged to push our bodies to the limit, and even beyond that limit, of their strength, flexibility, ability to chow down on humongous portion of food or drinks, mental capacity, endurance in sports as well as in extremely long hours of work, so on and so forth, all in the name of standing out for a few moments, of recognition, of not wasting life, of not being forgotten by history. This reckless abandonment of our true purpose and our own sense of self-appreciation and worth ironically deliver to us all those things we fear of, with the bonus of physical and mental hurts and scars.

  2. Simple it is when we connect 💡 first 🤞and move 🚶🏿‍♂️ In a way that keeps the 😇 connection 💡as it opens the door 🚪 to deeper awareness 🧘🏼‍♂️as is also found in the Stillness obtained in Esoteric Yoga.

    1. I am noticing the energies we are using in our day to day living and how the energy we use makes all the difference as to whether we are reckless or not. But for many of us we do not discern the energy we have called in that is dictating our movements we think we have control but by observing energy I can see there is no control at all. And we are either using negative energy or positive energy the problem being that many of us have not been taught the difference between negative and positive energy and so we call in and live with negative energy because that is what for life times what we have chosen. I can honestly say that I was using negative energy most of my life, I was what we could call a ‘negative Nancy’, it wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon and heard him talk about the only two energies we can choose from that it dawned on me I was choosing negative energy and that is why my life was in so much disarray. I am learning to get go of using negative energy which is difficult because most people are using it because like me they know no different.

  3. We like to think incidents are circumstantial and if we ‘look out’ we will be safe. But true safety and protection comes from living in connection and trusting that. If only we as parents focused on encouraging that rather than all the terrible dangers we perceive maybe our children would be healthier and more at ease.

  4. Dianne this is very inspiring to read, it is common for people to check out of life when pain is felt in the body, but here you are deeply and fully checking in to life with a much deeper care of your body and very aware of how you care for you affects everyone else.

  5. Thank you Dianne for this article. I really enjoy your writing. It is real, accessible, poignant and funny. And as a point of inspiration I love the simplicity of being present in the present. Moment by moment to the best of our ability actually being in attendance to what is happening right now. This makes great sense and science.

  6. Our recklessness is extreme, we’re packed in a vehicle that’s way too small, with no registration, no working headlights, no horn and flat tyres. Our driver is over the limit and blindfolded and we’re insisting that he drive down a mountain at high speed backwards. Yep humanity’s reckless alright and we’re heading for a very nasty accident. What am I saying? We’re already crashing on a daily basis, maybe it’s an almighty pile up that we’re heading for!

  7. Life as you have shared Dianne can be like skating on thin ice but once we connect to our essences again the alignment to our God given wisdom takes the explosive 🧨 behaviours out of life and opens the door 🚪 to heaven and the constellations 🌌

  8. Being open and transparent in every transgression we have ever made opens us to being more Loving as we explore the other side of life and openly understand that when we are less than Loving it is the individual seeking spirit that wants to control the body and not the forever deepening Love that available from our Souls.

  9. I’m am beginning to love my awareness – and feel there is so much more, it’s incredible, joyful –
    and not want to fight my awareness anymore.

    1. GR I agree with you allowing myself to be aware is fascinating it opens up the world again. I had made life so narrow (tunnel vision) by dismissing my awareness. Too me awareness is feeling the pulse of life which is a rich deep current that has a flow, when you are in the flow everything is known to you without knowing you don’t own the knowing it just is. The moment you try to own it it’s gone your out of the flow.

  10. You have so much zest for life already, and I’ve only seen you do presentations, a that was quite a few years ago, I’m like woweee what’s more to come! I can feel there’s a powerhouse of energy there.

  11. Dianne your list read to me like a list of violence towards yourself, assault if you will. And although your list to me feels unusually long I doubt that it is that unusual. If, for example you just take the actions of a goal keeper, we don’t stop to consider what they’re doing but when you think about it they’re repeatedly jumping in the air and then voluntarily landing without using their arms to brace their fall, they are simply landing their full weight on their ribs from a height. That to me is a very violent act because ask any of us to jump up in the air and stretch our arms out in front of us and simply land with a thud and we wouldn’t do it. My point is that we have integrated violence towards ourselves so invisibly into our lives that we don’t even recognise that we’re doing it.

  12. I can totally relate to your life of follies and misadventures. The number of times I had entered the Darwin awards, to elevate the dumb gene from our species and only came in second without a scratch were many. I have also learnt to feel my actions, the ripples they cause and the far-reaching effects they can cause on everyone. There is a wisdom in dumb things we have done, when we learn from them. And, the body it full of reminders, lest we forget, with scars and bits that don’t quite work the same way as when new.

  13. Ouch! What a list of injuries! When I look at injuries in my own life it’s been at a time when I’ve been in some kind of momentum, in a reaction that’s not shifting, and I am not with myself and as aware of my surroundings. I appreciated what you shared also about the subtleties or self care and of what’s harmful, and the refining of our awareness to continue to support ourselves and our body, as there is no stopping point for love and presence.

  14. “Drop the guilt but keep the lessons.” I love this Dianne, thank you for sharing your story about your life, it offers people the opportunity to review their own which I have done. To see where is my level of recklessness.

  15. Every moment and every move matters and can be supportive or not supportive for us and all. This may at times feel like a responsibility that is too big to fathom, and yet when we apply it lovingly so, it is the most amazing experience. I still struggle to hold the awareness to do this all of the time or even half of the time, but yet I love the power and steadiness that can be felt when this is applied genuinely.

  16. Diane this too is Gold, for I can also get bogged down with beating myself up with mistakes rather than simply taking them for the amazing learning that they are and deeply appreciating this situation: “It’s also not good to dwell in the miseries and self-flagellation of past mistakes instead of being so present, open and self-appreciative that we can sense ahead of time. I always say: “Drop the guilt but keep the lessons.””

  17. Mistakes are not really mistakes so long as we learn from them, hence why reflecting on them rather than forgetting about them is key: ” It’s very good to look at the past and learn from mistakes rather than dismissing them as ‘all behind, move on’ and repeating the same stuff over and over.”

  18. Diane this is brilliant – and I love this part which is essentially saying that the best way to prepare ourselves (or front foot things) is by living in the moment with full awareness: “We are living both ahead of and behind our present movements, instead of focussing our sensitivity on the present moment so that we can feel what’s coming.”

  19. Dianne, your level of self-honesty about the previous abuse on your body and your willingness to bring more awareness to every movement in the present moment to support your body in a different way, is inspiring to read. And now bringing this energetic awareness to a bigger picture to include humanity, is akin to ripples gently and consistently moving out from the centre of a still pool, to touch others in ways and places you/we may never know of.
    “The meter on the scale of recklessness (and disregard and abuse) is being tuned finer and finer and will continue to be. It now includes all humanity. If I make a move with my body or my mind from an energy that hurts me, even subtly, then it hurts everyone”.

  20. I love this expression “Drop the guilt but keep the lessons”. It offers a much less self-abusive way to consider our past choices.

  21. The fact that you’re still around, contributing fully, working hard and smiling is a miracle – as is your body, the human body.

  22. Thank you Diane, unmistakably your gorgeousness in expression and an unmistakeable childhood! And.. What if we don’t need to learn from our mistakes as much as trust ourselves to feel each situation in the moment? Then we wouldn’t need the post cause learnings in the first place?
    Its such a great point too that any disregard is not just affecting ourselves but everyone. Much to ponder there I feel.

  23. It is interesting what you are saying Dianne, that there was an awareness you had as a child that you disconnected from as you grew up and in that disconnection there were many incidents where your body was communicating to you but you had dropped the connection. That by meeting Serge Benhayon you were able to re align to that knowing you had as a child that has once again become such a intimate part of your life. The ability to be in tune with your body and read life from there, which is tapping into the universal mind that gives space this enables you to read ahead as there is no time only space; we have invented time because we do not live in space as we used to.

  24. It could be so easy to beat yourself up Dianne, when that long list of abuse is read, but the return to yourself as a sensitive young child is the full circle. Our bodies show us so much, and maybe you need that level of gross disregard to bring you back to the delicacy and tenderness you are living now. that is a phenomenal learning you will never need again.

    1. Spot on Gill – we have all had this level of sensitivity as children so it is not a new thing to learn but rather an old thing to come back to or full circle as you have said…the body is such as wonderful tool in supporting us to do just that.

    2. I love what you say Gill, that our bodies show us so much, that is if we let it in. it is beautiful to see and feel that our gross disregard can bring us back to our true selves of absolute delicacy and tenderness, indeed a huge learning of love.

  25. ” If I make a move with my body or my mind from an energy that hurts me, even subtly, then it hurts everyone.” And equally, every move we make aligned to Divine energy supports everyone.

    1. The thing that trips us up constantly is that we’re conned into thinking that movements that are outwardly seen as for the benefit of others actually benefit others when in actual fact they don’t. The only thing that benefits others is for us to be aligned to the soul consciousness, it’s as black and white as that. I have made trillions of movements in my life that have outwardly been for the benefit of others to now know that all of those movements just cemented others deeper into the illusion. Is it a bitter pill to swallow? No not at all but I am now dedicated to letting others know what I now know.

    2. So true Mary, and when we reach this level of sensitivity we know that this is still only the beginning of the return to enjoining the particles of the Universe………forever unfolding and deepening.

      1. Love is super sensitive to everything that is not love but we have bludgeoned and numbed ourselves to such a degree that we’re no longer conscious of this fact.

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