Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse

I came to the loving understanding at the age of 63 that I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is, and how it truly works.

Suppression was a behaviour that I would go to when I felt defeated and crushed and it seemed the way to avoid not wanting to deal with situations every time I felt overwhelmed and could not cope with life.

At a young age I could feel everything. But I never knew that the body I lived in was sensitive, fragile, delicate and that it has the wisdom of knowing, the power of healing and bringing all that is needed from a place within me that is divine and full of love.

Growing up as a child, teenager and adult, I was in the illusion that everything outside of me was more important than my inner wellbeing. I found I was always making choices to keep myself constantly busy in the ‘doing.’ This behaviour was deeply ingrained in my body and it originated from being told that “time was not to be wasted.”

I was lost in the drive of achieving with no consideration to the body and what this truly meant for my wellbeing and how I was living. I used outcomes and recognition to receive acceptance from others. On the surface it looked like I was a super woman, nothing was a problem that I couldn’t handle, but within I could feel the anxiety building up through the aches and pains in my physical body – there was a deep tiredness and exhaustion. The truth was I was using suppression to mask all that I was feeling; I was putting a lid on everything that I felt, concealing the judgment of self and others by playing the victim game.

What I did not realise is this behaviour was abusing my body by not allowing the self to be honest and express what was truly going on deep within. 

It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon at one of the Universal Medicine workshop presentations that I realised how sacred my body is: the way Serge moves in every step and the quality of the tone of his voice allowed me to connect to my own truth. It was through his reflection of the appreciation of his delicateness and tenderness that I came to the clarity of how important my body is.

Through Serge Benhayon’s teachings and presentations of the true Livingness I have come to learn that the body is a vehicle of expression and with that learning to love everything and every part of my body – after all it is my greatest teacher. With allowing myself the space to stop and surrender, comes a loving understanding of accepting and trusting what my body brings to each and every moment, connecting from a quality of stillness – the wisdom that we all hold within.

Life is full of opportunities when I truly honour my body and what it brings without suppressing any feelings. What I love is when I don’t indulge in any of these old patterns or behaviours and instead use them as my friends of learning and letting go, for deep down they are not who I truly am but a part of creation that I created by not wanting to feel truth in its completeness.

My body – the vehicle of expression is no longer used for needs or achievements but to reflect the sacredness, beauty and grace from within in God’s divine love and light.

I am now choosing to listen to how I feel in my body, treating it with respect, commitment, taking responsibility and honouring the truth that it reveals. Accepting the loving relationship between Soul and my body, as we work together as one.

By Kathy Avram, Melbourne, Loving all that life brings in the learning of every opportunity and living the purpose of serving humanity that comes from deep within a forever student

Related Reading:
Self-Care – Saying no to Abuse
Walking your Walk
Poisoned through Self-Abuse

668 thoughts on “Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse

  1. Prior to meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine sacredness was never something I would never have ascribed to anything about myself. With my present understanding it has brought a depth of appreciation and responsibility towards myself which then extends out to all in my life.

  2. When we suppress our feelings we deny ourselves the awareness of so, so much and hence deprive ourselves the fullness of life.

  3. Reading this reminds me of song lyrics “when we admit that we created it, Only can then we be free from it”. I know a pattern of mind to suppress my feelings but only after this admitting that I actually created it for a reason.

  4. Today I could feel an old pattern creep in which wanted me to hold back and not ask for help, but what I noticed is that the underlying belief was saying that we shouldn’t ask for help that we should figure things out on our own, even if it means to struggle. So, after a while, I asked for help and now I will wait and see what happens with no attachment.

  5. When we continually suppress that which we naturally are, our joy, our expression, our love, it is our very delicate body which is impacted on, often quite severely; but we keep on suppressing as it becomes our normal. To let go of the suppression is the most liberating feeling, like we are taking a long, deep breath and gently sighing out, and in the process returning to living all that we truly are; absolutely amazing beings, each and every one of us.

  6. How do we listen to our bodies and so respond from there….my go to has been taking time to observe my breathing…there was a time I would get so anxious and panicky, and not want to feel my body, but eat and drink to not feel. Learning slow, steady and consistently that when I bring awareness to my breath it changed how I felt, was a break through moment and I have been practicing ever since. And this has given me the space to respond to the messages my body offers, loud and clear. Be it a bump, getting cold, tired, hard and stressed, I listen and I chose something to support it.

  7. I never tire of hearing the truth of how wise our bodies naturally are. They are informing us 24/7 and when we listen so much is revealed. A treasured relationship worthy of our greatest love and attention.

  8. Our body gives us a true marker or reference point for the quality in which we are ‘doing’ or living life, and the more I learn to observe what I’m feeling or sensing the more understanding and awareness I have of myself and those around me, which is genuinely priceless.

  9. When we have been hard and rough with ourselves someone telling us we naturally have the qualities of being gentle, delicate and sacred inside of us seems to be something that is out of reach and unbelievable but it isn’t, for in a very short time these qualities can be accessed and feel very real. It is our choice to allow ourselves to go there.

    1. Yes and the more we hold ourselves steady and the more we are able to observe abuse the more we are able to close these openings.

  10. I am so struck by the fact that Serge Benhayon reminds us of the importance of delicateness in our body as we don’t often connect men with that reflection. But why not? It is only when we allow ourselves to see the underlying beliefs that we can challenge them and release ourselves and others from their grasp.

  11. Reading this blog reminded me of the elderly people near to me and how them not living in that honesty is affecting them both mentally and physically.
    This honesty is paramount, when we ignore those signals it compounds the body. The body is just like a car, take loving care of it, it will lovingly care for you too. It is that simple if we choose to do so.

  12. Actually I’m disgusted at the way we raise our children to not know how delicate and sensitive they are. We rob them and ourselves of a huge opportunity to restore balance to this life on Earth. Instead we insist that they toughen up to live in the world that we feel is unforgiving. We have not once stopped to consider it is us as the collective that has made life here so difficult. Watching young children being confirmed in their gorgeous, sensitive, delicateness just the way they are is so heartwarming. How we treat our children I feel is how our future will be. So what future do we want more of the same or are we prepared to encourage our children to fully know who and what they are?

    1. Mary I loved what you have expressed about how we grow up our children to keep passing on the same in every generation instead of appreciating our children in what they are bring and reflect to us as adults that we too were children once but we get caught up as adults in our hurts and dismiss what true divine being is all about… Divine love and truth in expression

    2. We impose on our children wanting them to turn out the way we want them to. We want them to get a good jobs or jobs which fit our picture of what we enjoy doing, we don’t want them become the party animal that dishonours themselves again and again, or we do want them to be the party goer, the popular child that everyone likes. We impose all our ideals and beliefs all the time whilst robbing them of the freedom to be themselves.

  13. There are a million ways that we have learnt to suppress how we feel – keeping busy, the way we eat, alcohol, drugs, relationships… its a dedication we have that is incredible (in a rather awful way), to just the alternative of feeling it all as we once did when we were young. Its all still there and it feels amazing when we do.

    1. Yes there are many ‘shoulds’ that we can impose on ourself that override what we’re really feeling underneath, but it’s never too late to come back to the honesty of our body and re-nurture the sensitivity of feeling and awareness that is innate in all of us.

  14. We do not honour children and all that they bring to the world. I’m not saying we should ‘molly coddle’ them
    but they do have a wisdom beyond their years and if we truly understood re-incarnation it would be much easier to appreciate why they have such wisdom and why they deserve much more respect and understanding than we currently give them.

  15. “My body – the vehicle of expression is no longer used for needs or achievements but to reflect the sacredness, beauty and grace from within in God’s divine love and light.” Once we recognise this, embody it, and honour this every moment of the day it becomes very difficult to misuse and abuse our body again.

  16. What an absolute treasure this is with regards to dishonesty with ourselves as being a form of abuse “What I did not realise is this behaviour was abusing my body by not allowing the self to be honest and express what was truly going on deep within.”

  17. The more that we love our body the more we get to appreciate that it is in fact the vehicle for the divine to come through.

  18. This has given me a new perspective on those behaviours I do which are abusive, how they can be used as a mark to see and understand where I’ve created something to avoid the truth, how in being willing to deeply feel their impacts and understand that they are not me, but a choice I’ve made to avoid truth that I can let them go and more deeply honour the body I live in and inhabit.

  19. It fascinates me that we behave in ways where we bury what we feel. It is an age-old pattern when in fact we are just masking how sensitive we all are.

    1. I really appreciate how Serge Benhayon has shown me how possible it is to actually stay deeply connected with our sensitivity and awareness of energy in life in a very practical and loving way, without being emotionally reactive to what we’re picking up on…

    1. Yes, suppression, distraction, anything to not feel. It is also, when we peel it right back, an abdication of our responsibility to ourselves because we leave ourselves ill-equipped to deal with what is in front of us.

  20. The body has to live all the choices of the mind especially ones where there is no regard or care for the body. In doing so dismisses that it is within the body that our true wisdom lies.

  21. Living on other people’s recognition of us can work for a while until we don’t get the recognition for some reason and it is shown that this way of living is not working. When we are running our body without any acknowledging of it and just for the outer recognition or reward, we will run our bodies down and that is why many of us get so exhausted, especially when we take away coffee and sugar, emotions and distractions.

      1. Agree, I remember there always being a focus on physical exercise and the outer expression which I loved, though do not remember any discussion or attention brought to honouring what was felt from the inside, from the connection with how our bodies felt.

  22. This one is a big one for many of us – being “in the illusion that everything outside of me was more important than my inner wellbeing.” How many of us have fallen for this one, and continue to do so? Give our all to a project/cause/family member etc…only to come out the other end exhausted. I know I have.

  23. I think it’s a good point how you say that we can be aware of our feelings and emotions that may be there without indulging but simply to learn from them and with that we can evolve with being more true to who we are in essence.

  24. -I listen to my body, it has a lot to say
    it tells me how I truly feel and when to rest and play-
    as the words of the children’s song go, we really do have to listen to our bodies

  25. Suppression is the self-censoring that we do in order to be accepted by others. This can never work because we end up not knowing who we are.

  26. ‘Growing up as a child, teenager and adult, I was in the illusion that everything outside of me was more important than my inner wellbeing.’ To me, not only is this a very honest and clear observation of oneself, but also a very accurate understanding of why the world is the way it is. Why we have such chaos, such violence and aggression and disconnection from our neighbours and one country or race or religion to the next. We’ve made the outside world more valuable than the inner Kingdom.

    1. This really highlights to me the importance of the quality of relationship that we have with ourself for the benefit of everyone.

  27. When we indulge this just goes into circulation energy, that is staying stuck in the same feeling or emotion and not being able to move away from this. However, once we have more awareness, and start to love ourselves more, the truth then becomes clearer as it did with you. It is great you were honest enough to feel how you were using suppression and just how abusive this was to your body so this could be truly healed.

  28. “I came to the loving understanding at the age of 63 that I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is, and how it truly works” – when it comes to touching even the sides and a hint of the beauty of sacredness, we realise then or at that point the extent to which we have not and for a very long time used this reserved space for the quality [of sacredness], but instead utilised and junked it with abuse.

  29. Being part of Universal Medicine shows me everyday how important is stay humble and real with what I feel. This is a very self-loving choice that supports me to be expanded, very joyful, alive and still in my life. Not having anything to hide or protect frees me from the pride and makes me see how needed is this way of being in the world we live in. A unifying way of living where we are all the same.

    1. Inma I agree with what you have expressed, we are blessed having Universal Medicine to bring the truth of the wisdom of The Livingness to come from the loving understanding of how to truly live life with responsibility integrity and honesty with respect of what our body brings through awareness.

  30. We are encouraged from a very early age to look outside of ourselves that this is the only way to be. I feel from my own experience that this leads to a disassociation from our bodies and it is in this disassociation that we can and do abuse our bodies in so many different ways. The moment we stop looking outside of ourselves and reconnect back into our bodies we discover how harmfully we have lived with ourselves and others, but more than that, its actually impossible to stay in the abusive behaviour. To me the science of the changes that take place is fascinating.

    1. Danna I love how you came from the beautiful understanding from a deeper level that everything we are and do is love and suppression is abuse but in that there comes love that brings awareness of the behaviour that shows us the truth

  31. ‘What I love is when I don’t indulge in any of these old patterns or behaviours and instead use them as my friends of learning and letting go, for deep down they are not who I truly am but a part of creation that I created by not wanting to feel truth in its completeness.’ I can relate to what you are saying here Kathy, old patterns can be like an addiction and it is something to look at without judgement, to see them for what they are and that is indeed not a part of our truth but a part of creation, and to let it go.

  32. When I think of suppression it can appear to be fairly passive in activity. It usually comes with a power difference where one gives their power away and another takes the power. I see this normalised in society, between kids and parents for instance., partners, work colleagues. It is an act of abuse to treat anyone as less or more than ourselves and to inflict this energy on ourselves is just as abusive. We need to be very aware of how we are treating ourselves.

  33. Children have so much wisdom and knowing most adults don’t know how to handle. And then you see children being busy doing sports or indulging in foods, TV, social media etc that suppresses their awareness further, it’s a vicious cycle. Then society wonder why we have issues with teenagers.

    If we allow our children to be who they are from a very young age, we would see they are unique and have their own expression of wisdom – they know who they are.

    1. Shushila thank you for your sharing. It would be great if we were taught from young in each generations to honour and allow our children to live and bring all that comes naturally to them in their expression and not have to change them in the way from our ideals and beliefs of controlling and holding on to them as some sort of prize possession.

  34. When we suppress living the light of who we are, we are basically abusing ourselves and this then is the quality we reflect to all through our movements and bring to all our relationship in all varying degrees. Yet abuse is abuse regardless how subtle it may seem and this is not who we are or our true way of being.

    1. Carola I agree that abuse is still abuse when we don’t live our true beingness
      We do not realise how much abuse we do to ourselves without the knowing of the truth of who we truly are which hold us in the illusion of separation.

  35. Our bodies are our greatest friends and mentors for they always reflect back to us the truth of our choices.

  36. You say at a young age you could feel everything – actually that never changes. We all feel everything but as we develop (which is really the opposite of develop) we develop (that word again) more and more ways to shut down, override and disconnect from what we feel – end result we still feel it but become less consciously aware of what we feel.

    1. Being aware is the greatest protection as choosing to not be aware of what we feel and are picking up allows us to be fooled, interfered with and harmed in many ways.

  37. It took me a little while to trust what I felt – and it has become really cool to find that whoa, I know a lot more than I was giving myself credit for. I then realised I could become more clear in hearing what I was feeling by cutting out certain foods, drinks and habits that could cloud my ability to feel what was going on.

  38. I can feel the iron bars of suppression in my own body when I hold back, our body feels it all, let’s listen and feel and break free of our self made prisons.

    1. Yes so agree davidsonsamantha, and in that suppression we are magnifying the very energy that we so do not want to be part of .

  39. Our body is a constant reflection of the Love we are from and as such, if we choose something that abuses our body it shows us in whichever way it can, for example, we might be more moody, more resentful, more irritable. I have noticed a very clever brain can justify these, perhaps more ‘negative’ emotions, with the balance of the highs and euphoria that comes from injection of adrenaline from whatever substance I have consumed or activity I have done. Yet the rollercoaster of highs and lows does not offer me any consistency and this is incredibly draining.

  40. Trying to suppress what we feel and know leads us to continue to swim in a murky pool of our own making, through our habits, hurts and we can only climb out of that pool when we begin to choose to be honest about how we feel, what we know and live life from that place, otherwise everything we choose and see is veiled in the murkiness.

  41. To feel into the sensitivity of the body gets us to the place where suppression feels like abuse, because we can become aware of its beautiful delicacy and sacredness, and just how much it has been putting up with and carrying us until we get to a point where we can feel this. It deserves a huge thank you.

  42. We look around and say how sad the world is with military juntas, dictators and no freedom of speech – but overlook the fact that we suppress our own true nature every day, with seemingly small but brutal acts.

  43. “Growing up as a child, teenager and adult, I was in the illusion that everything outside of me was more important than my inner wellbeing. I found I was always making choices to keep myself constantly busy in the ‘doing.’ I can so relate to this Kathy. @make yourself useful’ was a phrase I heard a lot. Coming to appreciate my own body – and the messages it brings me was such a revelation when I attended Universal Medicine presentations, it seems strange to think I lived for sixty years with this unknowing…..

  44. When we deepen our awareness and connection with ourselves, the more we understand our innate delicateness and sensitivity and the more we naturally refine our choices, to keep us aligned to the harmony and natural rhythm within our body and to let go of what does not honour our true quality of being. As we build and deepen our level of love what feels loving is constantly being refined as we evolve.

  45. “learning to love everything and every part of my body – after all it is my greatest teacher.” It is a beautiful awareness when we realise that every ache and pain is not a problem but an opportunity to look at how we are living.

    1. I like this too Mary. Rather than looking for a quick fix or blaming someone or something it offers us an opportunity to reflect on our daily choices and to make appropriate changes.

    2. I agree with you both, Mary and Sue. A friend once told me that they were told by an Esoteric Practitioner to appreciate what their bodies were communicating and for me, this message has been a godsend. Now I have a different relationship with my aches and pains when they occur, and the messages from them are always spot on, and so much can be revealed with regards to our reactions in life.

  46. What you have shared is so important for children growing up to not suppress what is going on for them.
    As a child once too I could feel inside of me things weren’t right or things didn’t quite gel with me but didn’t have anyone to support me that what was going on was ok and just honour the feeling.
    Since meeting Serge Benhayon I started to learn more about my body, I may not have perfected it but I can honestly say I’m honouring me and my body more.

    1. Shushila thank you for your sharing. We are truly blessed, since I have meet Serge Benhayon and choosing to go to the Universal Medicine workshops I am learning how to live life in honouring and appreciating my body in all that it brings and what it shows me.

  47. Suppression is draining, exhausting, delays and holds me back. Being honest with myself when I can feel I am suppressing myself is a continuous learning but key in my unfolding. When I am honest, I am love, honouring and adoring myself to let go of the old behaviours that hold me back from evolving.

    1. Yes, so draining and such a denial of ourselves. We then play a game to pretend we are not feeling what we are feeling and bizarrely encourage others to do the same so we don’t offer each other a reflection of the insane game we have all bought into!!!

  48. This just goes to show when we are willing to be truly honest with ourselves and feel what is there to be felt within our body we are never too old or it is never to late to truly heal, learn and change.

  49. Suppression is something the Catholic Church has used with great success. Certainly in my case I grew up with absolutely no idea of the true meaning of Sacredness and no idea that it was something I was born with, that is natural for me. Only now, nearly 68 am I getting an inkling.

  50. “Suppression – The Behaviour of Abuse” – abuse and suppression cannot feature when the love we are is expressed and lived. The more we love, the less we abuse.

  51. When we hold back (suppress) our love, we create an ‘emptiness’ within us that allows the force of all that is not love (evil) to enter the equation and wreak havoc. Hence the pertinence for us all to express every ounce of the love that we are, in the many different facets of our lives, in every single moment of the day. This does not mean we go around gushing like a Hallmark card, but more so we attune our movements to be in harmony with all that the heart sees, feels and speaks.

    1. Beautifully put Liane, it makes me ponder on the fact that our every movement of suppression has an impact on our next movement and how evil escalades when we are not careful and aware of what is happening. The more we call out and unravel suppression in our day the more committed I am in service to the all in my day.

  52. “I came to the loving understanding at the age of 63 that I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is, and how it truly works” – yes, when we connect to the precious delicateness quality of ourselves we realise just how much or how far we have gone the other way and used the quality of abuse to sabotage ourselves.

  53. Playing small so as to not attract the mire of others is a another form of self abuse in which we deny the responsibility of bringing our all to life and others.

  54. Generally speaking we don’t know (or honour) the power of our sensitivity, our ability to feel, or our ability to know what is true. The Ageless Wisdom teachings have shown me I have access to all of these.

  55. Sometimes it is really is just about coming back to the simplicity of being in one’s body. There is nothing more than this perhaps to open the doors again and to let out the love that is there to be felt, seen, and appreciated.

  56. This is great Kathy and may I expand on what you have expressed by sharing that when walking and “feeling” our body and the depth of Love within can be a deeply amazing. When we add the Sacred Movement as presented by Natalie Benhayon we can feel an even deeper blessing in the way our bodies can move and continue to heal from these movements.
    So as you have shared Kathy “the way Serge moves in every step” is an inspiration.

  57. It seems to me that we innately know that we are never alone or separate from everyone else because we can talk inwardly with another or ‘others’ from our childhood days onwards, that being our deep knowing of God, or Soul, or a ‘someone else’ but not just being by ourselves. And then at times we know we don’t need to say anything, for all is already known between us and all others, either way, we do know.

    1. Well, we can avoid it short term but our bodies keep talking, expressing and correcting our choices so the indulgences and irresponsibility simply back up until we are honest enough to face them or until they erupt in our faces.

  58. I feel that there are so many of us that are brought up in this manner
    “Growing up as a child, teenager and adult, I was in the illusion that everything outside of me was more important than my inner wellbeing. I found I was always making choices to keep myself constantly busy in the ‘doing.”
    We are taught this from the very get go from our parents and then reinforced with our current form of education. So it is difficult to almost impossible to know any different. Until we are shown that there is another way to be with ourselves and then there is the resistance because we have got used to a certain way of being even if it is so very damaging to our health it is familiar and comfortable. Breaking the comfort so that life can be seen for what it truly is… a big fat lie that we have become so attuned to for me feels difficult to break away from.

  59. Suppression of our expression to punish others is a big one but in that expression, we are paralysing the body and squishing it into contraction. So, who are we really harming the most?

  60. My body – the vehicle of expression is no longer used for needs or achievements but to reflect the sacredness, beauty and grace from within in God’s divine love and light. What a beautiful place to get to and a real inspiration and reflection of how we can live and the choices we can make lovingly that changes everything very healing and powerful.

  61. ‘Life is full of opportunities when I truly honour my body and what it brings without suppressing any feelings.’ This feels wonderfully freeing and honouring of oneself by being in tune with ones body, and the universe as that’s what it’s an integral part of – it’s in no way small or insignificant which is something I often deny.

  62. What a beautiful development in your relationship that confirm the power of the body and how much they communicate with us. If we listen, there is such a depth to working with our bodies rather than against them.

  63. To live in a way which honours my body first and foremost is the way forward.
    Not easy as the old patterns are strong in its abusive ways where I didn’t nurture myself at all but for sure worth While.

  64. ‘I was using suppression to abuse my body without any consideration of how sacred the body is.’ This is a huge realisation to come to and one that is powerful as with the awareness we have the power to change.

    1. Agreed Ariana the experience has changed my life as I deepen my understanding of how sacred my body is, I would never have considered using the word sacred to describe something I felt before and that was indeed because I would suppress myself it so many ways to fit in.

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