As I have been connecting with greater depth and awareness to my body, I can feel the shifts and the changes – the delicate and powerful way that each moment impacts upon the next. This has been an ongoing relationship for me since my mid-forties and one that has been forever unfolding. Continue reading “Is my Body the Microcosm of the Macrocosm that is the Universe?”
All my life I have been blowing in the wind, bending this way and that, adapting to my environment, trying to establish a control over all my relationships so that I wouldn’t get hurt. At school when I was teased I pretended I was OK, I was tough, I didn’t need anyone and shut everyone out. I tried to be ‘good’ and not upset any of the teachers.
Love usually comes with conditions, expectations and images of how we want another to be. We say to someone we love them, we care for them, want to be with them, all the while what is expressed comes loaded with conditions of how we want them to be. If they are how we want them to be then we say we love them, although it is not a love that is unconditional. It is conditional. We have a level of judgement that comes with the love we are prepared to show, share and give to another.
Recently I fell into a whole self–created story around my worth and my competence in relation to my work as a nurse. This happened because I assumed something and reacted.
I love to clean my own car. One of my jobs at home when I was a young teenager was to clean the family car at the weekend and I loved getting soap everywhere, all over myself and the car and then being allowed to use the hose to wash it all off and would occasionally squirt someone from the family who happened to be nearby. Our neighbour would ask me occasionally to clean his car too and would pay me the equivalent of my weekly pocket money, so that was always a bonus.
I used to consider abuse as something that wasn’t part of my life. I saw it in the news, films and read about it in papers. Abuse to me was extreme: extreme cases of violence, beheadings, bombings, attacks, rapes, fighting, shootings, stabbings, war, domestic violence, shouting, swearing and attacking people, someone physically self-harming or cutting themselves. Never once did I consider that abuse – which we all normalise and make okay, which we turn a blind eye to daily – is in all our lives.
Have you ever been really busy and caught up with something that is all consuming and feels very important – to discover later that it was actually not that important at all? We can feel quite ‘taken over’ and energetically, it can feel like we are being driven by an energy and a force that is not us.
Life Is Like A Box of Chocolates – A Buffet of Choices
Perhaps for many, one of the most memorable lines in Forest Gump was when the lead character said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” If we park aside the fact that the saying suggests we are not in charge of our own choices, therefore “you never know what you’re gonna get” – which of course is not true – what we are left with at this stage is a proposition that no matter which chocolate is picked, we still end up with chocolate, just a different kind.
One may draw a praline, a truffle, a caramel delight or a coconut nougat, however, is it not still a chocolate, still made up of cocoa, sugar, often milk, and then just a varying flavour to differentiate it from the pieces that lay beside it?
We have all experienced anxiety at some point in life, some more than others. It can be a debilitating condition that creates stress and affects us in many ways; in our ability to relate, to work effectively and to be in the world in a confident and calm way. I know the times in the past when I have experienced anxiety I have felt overwhelmed and powerless, unable to feel clear or be at ease with myself.
I recall experiencing panic attacks and anxiety so badly at times that I felt I would be unable to leave home for fear of not being able to handle the situations or people that I would run into. I felt totally immobilised and would start to get hot sweats, feeling like I couldn’t function properly if I saw anyone I knew, and if I did speak with them my face would go bright red making me feel even more anxious, compounding the stress I was already feeling.
I entered the noble profession of teaching the year man landed on the moon. The numerous primary aged students I have encountered in my 45 plus years of teaching since would more than vouch for my ability to smell a rat a mile off and sense a whiff of a lie if they ever dared to attempt to pull the wool over my eyes. I am nobody’s fool, so when I read the arrant nonsense written by newsprint journalists or watch a conglomeration of lies presented via the TV media about Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all who have chosen to be associated with this religion, I have been wondering what the world is coming to.