Self-esteem is something most people work on in their lives. But what if everything you already wanted is already within you? I was lying in the bath the other night, washing my legs, feeling super sexy, appreciating and loving my body, when I suddenly realised that “Wow, I no longer have the thoughts that I used to have”. Thoughts that had run with me from my teenage years, such as;
- I hate my body,
- I wish I was thinner,
- I wish I had someone else’s body,
- I want longer or thinner legs,
- I wish I had a six pack or a flat tummy,
- I would prefer a more muscular and athletic looking body,
- I wish that my breasts were smaller.
But now… I love my body just the way it is!
I love…
- How my tummy has a beautiful gentleness to it and a little feminine curve,
- That my legs are no longer hard and muscular; they may not look like a model’s, but to me they feel long, awesome and slender and are exactly the way they are meant to be,
- My bum; it’s sexy, curvy and amazing, not pert or ‘perfect’,
- How delicate my fingers are and my cute little toes,
- My breasts are amazing and I wouldn’t change them for the world,
- The graceful and playful way that my body moves.
Then I thought about other times I have felt this way, for instance when I’m in the gym and I move with such playfulness and grace and with a huge smile on my face. Long gone are the days where I’d push my body hard, training to extremes and being obsessed by the perfect body image.
A big support for me has been that I now listen to my body and have such fun in doing so. For example, I leave the gym when my body feels it’s had enough, rather than just staying another twenty minutes when my body is clearly tired. So I leave feeling full of vitality, full of me, full of joy because I have honoured my body; there’s no adrenaline buzz, exhaustion, or pain.
When I eat now there is no form of control, no obsession, no thoughts about calories, no worrying about fat, or whether I can eat this or can’t eat that, or if I eat this then I’ll skip a meal, or not eat tomorrow. I simply eat now to celebrate, appreciate, nourish and love my body, and me.
I have so much fun in doing so. I love going food shopping and cooking now, feeling what foods to buy and eat, whereas before it used to be such a chore. That’s not to say there’s days where I don’t eat things that aren’t the most nourishing and supportive, but every day is a learning – I know what I’m choosing now and most of the time I know exactly why. Before I would give myself such a hard time, which only prolonged the way I was feeling.
Now I simply say:
- Okay – what are you doing?
- This might taste good in my mouth but how will my tummy and body feel about it?
- Why are you really eating it?
- Why do you want to put this in your body?
- Why do you want to make yourself feel awful?
… when you are worth so much more than that: learn from it and move on.
Even the way I choose to get dressed now is so different: no longer do I just put on whatever, but I take my time to choose what I really feel like wearing. Sometimes it may be to celebrate how sexy I am feeling, and this can be in jeans, a vest top and trainers, or at other times it may be to nurture me and keep me warm on a cold day; it may simply be that I feel to wear a certain colour, or it may be to honour how beautiful, feminine and delicate I am feeling. I feel so much joy in honouring this – I dress for me, not to impress or entice another. Even when I put make up on, it’s not to build my self-esteem, look better, cover up or hide what I don’t want others to see, but all of it is in celebration of me.
I can now stand in front of a mirror and claim that I am beautiful and damn sexy, whereas not too long ago I would avoid looking in mirrors as I would be quick to pick out all the faults that I thought I could see instead of seeing the true and beauty-full me.
And the amazing thing is that this love that I feel is not from anything I can do on the outside, it is something that is within me: I just need to allow myself to stay connected to it, to myself, and be present in my body.
I’ve tried so many things to feel lovely but they simply didn’t work as they came from something outside of me. They may have relieved me of feeling my hurts or emptiness for a little while, but it never really allowed me to deal with them and know that I am already more than enough. I used things like getting a new haircut, buying clothes, a new nutrition or diet fad, a thinner or fitter body to feel better, alongside all the self-help and new age stuff, but there was always an un-full-filled feeling there.
The love I now feel for myself and for my body comes from within me. There’s a fullness, a celebration, a deep feeling from inside that simply, play-fully and joy-fully wants to emanate and radiate. It is the loveliest thing and it doesn’t stop with me.
When this love and joy is felt and embraced, I can’t help but share it and feel the love in others, for in truth it’s not mine to keep and hide away. Re-connecting to myself and allowing my love to be has been a support for me to appreciate myself. There is no longer a need for me to work on self-esteem, to look a certain way but to just accept, appreciate and celebrate that I am already enough – I am amazing.
It is with love, thanks and deep appreciation of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Caroline Raphael, for the absolute love and truth they present, live and share, and the constant inspiration, love and reflection from other practitioners and the amazing student body.
By Gyl Rae, Student and waitress, Scotland
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
It’s great to read this blog again and where I am situated with my body and life. As once upon a time I used to be the hard core person, driven, and needing to be in a certain way. Now it’s so much different in that exercise is essential to keep your body strong and support it as it ages, but there is no set routine anymore. There’s more of a flow. And I totally get it, loving the clothes I wear and feeling sexy in my skin than ever before.
This would not have happened if I hadn’t met Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and their practitioners too. What I love is that I love it more and more as I unfold I get to see more of me and as this unfolds, others get to see the real me too and an offer for them to do the same, if they so wish to too.
Gyl I loved reading this blog as I am learning to love my body more and more. I was so critical of my body, and went to the gym and did so many diets to get that perfect body. It’s reading this, that I realise everything about me is ok, and even though there is more to let go, I’m feeling more and more accepting of me first, and not judging what my body needs to look like to fit it.
We become hooked on images that are not achievable or doable and yet, when we look at everyone, everyone has that unique quality before their bodies. If we are prepared to look further into who they truly are.
Loving oneself comes from within ourselves and not from anyone else. We do not need to be validated by anyone or anything, we just need to be open that everything we need is there.
It’s beautiful to read a statement from a year ago and seeing and feeling the difference in my own expression. I can feel how far I’ve come and realised that nothing occurs over night. It’s a gradual step and loving every step and moment to discovering who you truly are.
These blogs help you to appreciate and celebrate you in a realisation from self and not another.
Anything to do with self-esteem, appreciation, self love etc comes from only one assured place, and that is from you and within you only. Outside of this is the confirmation.
What a celebration that you turned your view of your body and self around to one of acceptance, love, and how this emanates out for all to enjoy, ‘The love I now feel for myself and for my body comes from within me. There’s a fullness, a celebration, a deep feeling from inside that simply, play-fully and joy-fully wants to emanate and radiate. ‘
When we are disconnected from something/someone it’s easy to abuse or disregard it, our own bodies included. Connection brings in the care, love, respect and tenderness, with ourselves and others.
Leigh, I love your sharing, disconnected, means distant and rightly said, abusive. Connection means nil abuse shall pass and only love will enter in and out of the body. A beautiful reflection for others too.
Beginning with appreciation in even the smallest things we feel and do – and who we are – eventually grows and we can build on that. We can be so quick to condemn ourselves for wrong-doing, yet appreciation is of far more value as we evolve.
“When this love and joy is felt and embraced, I can’t help but share it and feel the love in others, for in truth it’s not mine to keep and hide away. ” Beautiful Gyl. When we feel great we cant help but shine and our reflection reaches out to everyone we meet. How they receive that is up to them.
Gyl there is so much to appreciate in us all in what our lives now feel like after we have reconnected to soul. In your case you represent what billions of women and men experience with self criticism, self loathing, and general discontent and dissatisfaction with their bodies and very low worth, and that the answer doesn’t lie is changing how we look, but simply in reconnecting to our soul and allowing its love to become our living way.
“accept, appreciate and celebrate that I am already enough – I am amazing.” A beautiful reflection shining back from any mirror.
Love it Gyl, we can go through life ticking boxes and not feeling what is happening from our mouth to our backside and thus we loose control of so many other aspects of life as we are constantly trying to balance our life with different foods to make us racy to get a job done and to dull us from our days activity so we can shut down and try to sleep.
We live in a world where women (and men) are not supported to develop self worth, but in addition to this we often ignore the inner connection that holds that self worth as Gold. With this combination w then find ourselves easily lacking worth and hence hating our body and seeking to change this from the outside. However a baby in its essence does not feel lack of self worth, so there is something in us that must then disconnect from the preciousness that we all hold and have when we are born, to then choose to be in a way that does not honour and treasure and value the all that we are, and then with that we develop issues of lack of self worth. Thankfully as shared in Gyl’s blog, there is a way to turn it around and come back to that that lies deep within waiting simply for us to re-connect to it.
Gyl – a gorgeous realisation when we can see and feel where we have come from and have now the possibility of living.
This is what the fashion and women magazines are missing that actually the beauty that we can have and are all capable of comes from within and not from any outside source. But I guess if they told the world the truth then the fashion and beauty care industry would take a massive hit in sales.
What I can feel from this is how it really is all in the connection with ourselves, and the beautiful simplicity of it all. We try fixing ‘issues’ not realizing that our disconnection is the only issue. That is a perfect set-up for colouring our life as a very individualized indulgence.
Nailed it Fumiyo – this is so true. Connection is the one and only thing that really matters and from here life can be approached in a different way, a different energetic way.
Spot on Fumiyo. We look outwards far too much. Focussing on who we are and what we bring- regardless of how that is perceived by others – here is true evolution.
Connection with ourselves is super important, ‘A big support for me has been that I now listen to my body and have such fun in doing so.’
Gyl its lovely to read how you are now appreciating yourself with all your loving ways and it is a true testament to the way of the livingness that there is another way to live in the full appreciation of yourself and everything you bring to the world.
I also enjoy the gym much more when I don’t really push myself hard but just have fun and enjoy the movements and natural strength of my body. It does feel linked to how I feel about myself as well and the more accepting I am of myself the less hard I push myself with exercise.
Bringing more fun and love into our lives is one of the best choices we can make, ‘I simply eat now to celebrate, appreciate, nourish and love my body, and me.
I have so much fun in doing so.’
The word model is an interesting one. On the one hand, we relate it to something out-standing (as in fashion modeling) or as something totally standard. Yet, in truth the word refers to something extraordinary and ordinary at the same time.
Reading this blog I really realised that if you care for yourself in every aspect of your life it’s like every part is accounted for and cherished it’s like your life is a complete sphere so there’s no space for low self esteem or self doubting thoughts because every angle is taken care of.
Beautiful to read such a loving self-appreciation.
“I simply eat now to celebrate, appreciate, nourish and love my body, and me.” There is no greater diet to follow than this.
Reading this morning has put a huge smile on my face. Thank you. Such a beautiful process of surrender. What I can feel is how it is simply about our commitment to just being with ourselves, being ourselves and that is all that is needed, and also how we might be setting ourselves up yet again when we try and be somewhere else while we are here – and this includes even going for ‘deeper love’. We do not have to go anywhere.
It is so beautiful when a woman is in full appreciation and acceptance of her body and all her amazing qualities, the world needs to see more true role models that are claiming themselves in this way as it is deeply inspiring when we do.
It is beautiful and inspiring when we as women start to accept and appreciate ourselves.
It all comes back to the body- the body just and exactly how it is. The power of accepting the natural divinity, beauty and loveliness of our bodies is phenomenal for women and men alike. when we accept our bodies, we accept others too.
I so agree Simone. Accepting and appreciating – ourselves and others – goes a long way.
We can all too often think our imperfections are us but they are just layers of learning that are there to teach us how to let go of all that is not us so we can live more and more our innate qualities from within.
Perceptions of self are key. They feed our movements as they activate how we feel about our body all the time. In that feeling we move.
I loved what you have shared Eduardo, your words are gold, there is much for me to consider and ponder. I remember recently reading a blog where a woman viewed herself on video and the change it made to how she perceived herself. I am going to do the same.
A beautiful appreciation of all that you are.
It is exhausting and painful to be at war with and in judgement about our bodies. Once we start to connect to the love that we are and that can be felt in our body it seems so crazy that we ever were any other way. But this comparison and non acceptance seems to be what is more widely reflected in the media and society. Thank God to Serge Benhayon and others for showing another way.
Love this Gyl. I can feel how honesty has played a big part in the change in the way you are living.
When you were talking about your relationship with your body I begun to reflect back to how I felt about myself as a teenager. Back then, every part of me I wanted to change, from my hair to my teeth, to the shape of my legs, this self-loathing continued all the way into my twenties. In fact, it didn’t truly start to be addressed until I began attending Universal Medicine presentations and then over time, all the problems I thought I had, slowly and naturally faded away. I am not saying I am totally clear of it, as I still have weak moments of wanting teeth that don’t stick out as much or skin that doesn’t get dry but over-all, I am loving myself and that is huge.
This is very beautiful to read Sarah. What you shared here could be written by me. Letting go of this insidious tendecy of critique myself in whatever way, shape or form is a process for me too. But I feel very enriched by have been choosen a way of life where I can re-learn how to treat my body, how to walk in gentleness, how to appreciate the divine being that I am…sometimes is easier than others but now I know is my choice, to be loving with myself or not. I don’t know where I would be today without Universal Medicine, probably quite sad and not really as joyful and vital as I am today. So being in this process of letting go, learning and expressing more of me – the true me – is faboulous and deeply precious.
I can relate to this too Sarah. I felt such an ugly duckling – too tall – too gawky – in my teens. being short-sighted didn’t help with my thick un-beautiful glasses. Things changed a lot when I got contact lenses at 17. And I look back on photos now and think why on earth did I think I was so awful-looking? I was accepting myself far more – but – like you – not until I came to Universal Medicine presentations did I deeply start to truly accept myself. It seems strange that in my late sixties I appreciate and love my body more than I ever did when younger! .