I recently took the time to reflect back on understanding my life, the choices I have made, and how these choices affected me.
Writing the blog ‘From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love’ allowed room for me to take time to truly reflect on understanding life in a true sense, and for the self-appreciation that I now know I deserve.
I have gone from someone who only thought about keeping her children warm, fed and safe (or what I deemed to be safe at the time) while giving no thought or concern to my own well-being, to a woman who now naturally does this for herself. This is nothing short of an amazing transformation. I went from hating myself deeply with every thought and action to having a conscious understanding of why I was doing this and replacing these thoughts with more understanding and care for myself. This inner appreciation slowly made way for much more Love and beauty to expand in my body.
Meeting Serge Benhayon & Reintroducing Love into my Being
I remember sitting down with a man named Serge Benhayon ten or so years ago and him mentioning the word Love. I posed the question to him “what is Love?” He replied it is what a child feels when they sense a person’s sadness and, if choosing to hug them or smile at them, just feeling and acknowledging the sadness but not taking it on, to be something they then carry around with them.
At the time I could not relate. I was so far from understanding what Love meant – I thought it was something to be received from others or given to others, not something I could tenderly nurture and grow for myself. I know now what Love is and how amazing, energising and healing it feels in my body. I can feel love throughout my body, through tingly sensations where all areas of my body come to life. I feel a huge sense of completion and joy and I am very content.
Knowing love in my body and freely feeling this only lasts if I keep expanding myself by following through with any true impulses or feelings I have – when I feel them. At the moment I understand an impulse to be a feeling that comes to me, which quite often requires me to put it into some kind of action or expression. This may be a simple thought or feeling such as stopping and hugging my son or husband with all that I am.
I know it is an impulse/thought/feeling that will help me grow: what confirms this to be a true impulse is the contrast when I feel a sneaky thought or feeling inside of my head that is very dismissive, saying things like:
- “I can’t do that.”
- “Now’s not the time.”
- “You will look silly.”
- “They do not want this at the moment.”
or something along those lines. The reasons these afterthoughts are so damaging is because they are thoughts that try to keep me in an old way of being without allowing new ways of being and doing things – which then allow me to live life in a more loving way.
Understanding Life is a Celebration
To understand what I understand today not only makes life enjoyable but makes it a celebration, simply because of how I feel in my body. If you had told me this was possible twenty years ago, I would have thought you were insane or on better drugs than me.
When I listen to the effect my choices have on my body, and I feel tension or unease around a choice I am making, I know it not to be right for me. In that, I am learning to be more aware of my choices simply by listening more to my body.
Now I rarely get affected if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am. I see they are exactly the same as me first – before I see the choices that take them away from who they really are. I now own a parcel of joy called me… and there is nothing like it in this world. I can connect with others and be together with them in all the Joy we are, whether or not they are aware that they too are that Joy – and in that, I am learning to truly appreciate others, and truly appreciate me.
By Anonymous
Further Reading:
From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
“I know who I am. I see they are exactly the same as me first – before I see the choices that take them away from who they really are”, is a great reminder/confirmation that we are all in this together. It helps us bring the understanding that everyone is carrying this illusionary issue that keeps them suppressed. When we take the steps to true healing, then we realise more and more the superficial life we have been living.
What an awakening and freeing when we realise more and more the depth of knowing of what life is constantly presenting to us. Whilst the Soul is patiently waiting for us to finally align so in that we can truly serve, rather than just turn up to work and do the motions.
Knowing who you are is empowering and joyous to be around.
On Tue, 22 Dec 2020 at 2:11 am, The Truth about Serge Benhayon wrote:
Shushila commented, ‘I know who I am. I see they are exactly the same as me first… before I see the choices that take them away from who they really are’, is a great reminder/confirmation that we are all in this together. It helps us bring the understanding that everyone is.
How important is it to catch any negative thoughts that we get sneaking in…there is no other purpose to these thoughts than to break us down, wear us out, undermine who we are. There is no need to play this game… But what governs if we fall for this or not is the foundation of self love that we have build – with a strong foundation of self love, those thoughts hold no chance. Hence why this foundation is so important.
Henrietta I could not agree more in the importance of self love. It has to start somewhere. It begins in taking the steps in taking care of ourself first. The thoughts of selfishness will pollute our minds, but we are deserving of this and only then can we ever be there for another.
Once again, Anon, you have shared a huge revelation – that one cannot truly love another if one does not love oneself first. Often we can feel motivated to want to do things for another and this is not a bad way to begin the learning of loving and caring, be this for another and then also for ourselves. Through being with others we learn to love them and ourselves more and more.
Hello Anon, and thank you for your honest sharing – there is true love in not taking on anothers woes, but instead to walk alongside them as you hold your own essence to be with them.
“This inner appreciation slowly made way for much more Love and beauty to expand in my body.” what a beautiful line, this is how it is for me too. And what an incredible blog, I really enjoyed your expression and all that you shared, it was so relatable it felt universal as a truth we can all know and connect to within ourselves. I liked how you asked Serge “What is love?” because it came with such an honesty and openness.
To be with another and not take on their ‘stuff’ is an incredible experience for both parties. The person you are supporting knows they are ok, that they have the skills to deal with what is in front of them and that you are there as a support, and you walk away knowing that they are perfectly equipped to deal with what they have in front of them and therefore do not need to take it on.
Absolutely Linda, appreciative-ness is honouring our essences and putting asunder the wayward energy that can fools us into appreciating physicality.
Appreciative-ness is the corner stone for us feeling the connection to our essence. Also we could say that Sacredness is appreciating everything ,and appreciation comes with an authority and conformation of that connection.
From feeling that we don’t know what love truly is, to knowing it in our own body as something so tangible as reality every day – that is a huge change. And the feeling I get is how this relationship really is a forever deepening one if we make it to be, and the ‘changes’ really are just us returning to who we naturally are, and that is a very beautiful journey that exposes and smashes everything that has kept us away from this gorgeousness.
“To understand what I understand today not only makes life enjoyable but makes it a celebration, simply because of how I feel in my body.” Serge Benhayon presents the true meaning of Love.
So glad I found your blog this morning anonymous as I really related to what you had to say here
“I went from hating myself deeply with every thought and action to having a conscious understanding of why I was doing this and replacing these thoughts with more understanding and care for myself. This inner appreciation slowly made way for much more Love and beauty to expand in my body.”
I feel that I have gone through life times of self-hate as it has been so deeply ingrained within my body. With the support of Universal Medicine practitioners I realised I could go through another life hating myself and self-sabotaging or, I could start to pick apart why I was choosing self-hate and self-loathing rather than making self-loving choices.
Great points here Mary, so many of us can hold a self loathing rather than a deep appreciation of who we are and what we bring to everyone around us. Deep appreciation is so needed as this is what allows us to blossom and take the next steps in life and bring what is needed.
Honouring what we feel is the stepping stone to appreciating and living more of who we are.
So true Jenny and yet we have created a world based almost entirely on dishonouring what we feel. Most of us don’t consciously feel much and when we do we tend to automatically discount it. We also have a dreadful habit of discounting what kids feel, often we’re ‘too busy’ to really pay attention and so our kids, in turn, quickly learn to discount how they feel. And so it goes.
Listening to our body, and honouring what it says is a wise choice, ‘When I listen to the effect my choices have on my body, and I feel tension or unease around a choice I am making, I know it not to be right for me. In that, I am learning to be more aware of my choices simply by listening more to my body.’
“When I listen to the effect my choices have on my body, and I feel tension or unease around a choice I am making, I know it not to be right for me.” This is such a great point because the body does know exactly what is true and what isn’t.
I love the words Serge Benhayon offered you to show what love is, so different from what we are brought up to think or expect love to be. No emotional outplay or taking on other peoples issues, just a loving way to be.
Well said, and we need to hear these truths so our body can remember how to live them, because of course, what has been shared is entirely logical to our body and it just needs the reminder.
That’s gold having the understanding and knowing that when you are not effected by another person from what they are doing or saying because you know who you are. All the more reason to not leave who we are and join in on something we are not.
When we honour what we feel life becomes very simple.
To appreciate others and myself has been a deeply healing process and very powerful, and the more I appreciate I notice there is more to appreciate… it is endless what we can experience.
There is a simplicity to love that makes it easy to connect to, without needing to own or hold on to it. I love what you’ve shared here about how connecting to more love, to greater depths of it, can only happen if we keep building on what we’re already living and connecting to. It’s all right there, accessible and available to all equally, and the depth to which we feel it depends on how we live and move.
‘When I listen to the effect my choices have on my body, and I feel tension or unease around a choice I am making, I know it not to be right for me. In that.’ Sometimes a tension or unease in our body is also felt when we go out of our comfort or to be pulled up, when we are offered something new. It is always good to discern what the tension is and what is asked by this tension.
It is so important to observe ones thoughts that keep oneself from expressing what one feels to express and nominate them as not true.
Appreciation offers a deeper letting in of who you are as reflected back to you from life. Not appreciating is no different to being extremely dismissive. It is the same energy.
Appreciation is such an important part of life that we all seem to forget most of the time – but life without appreciation is like the sky without the sun – it can light up our whole lives.
Appreciation can light up our lives, ‘ I am learning to truly appreciate others, and truly appreciate me.’
It is true, we might think we take care of ourselves when we allow to let ourselves be resting and taking time with things but when there is an impuls we have to at some point come in action and move and that is when the true magic happens for us. Great impulses are there to be activated not to be great in our minds…
There is nothing wrong in caring for others. Moreover, it is easy to be highly praised by others for doing so and building an image of such a loving person! Yet, when these actions are carried putting those who care about first and above you. This is telling that is made from a lack of self-worth and that caring for others is like the perfect alibi for not caring about you. Moreover, this overdoing for others is just a way to caress your hurts that impulse you to overdo it for others.
Well said Eduardo, and this does reveal the game we can play when we make excuses for not looking after ourselves. Placing others as more important than ourselves reveals a false and empty care that we can offer, rather than a knowing that we are all equal in importance and actually offering that quality to self as well as others equally so.
The more we appreciate the more loving choices we make.
Yes, it is appreciation that keeps loving choices going. When I make a slip up, appreciation is what makes me understand myself and then I can move forward with loving choices and not in reaction.
The more we bring joy into the flow in or lives the effortless is become and then we have the marker for the ‘new normal’.
The more we appreciate ourselves the easier it becomes to appreciate everyone.
And there’s a profound power in that – in holding another in that equalness, respect and true love.
“…I am learning to be more aware of my choices simply by listening more to my body.” – This is such valuable advice, so much in life is about living from what we have learnt from outside of us and can recall in our mind but without the honouring of what we have also sensed or know from our body.
Just let things flow but don’t hold back that everything is already there. So why would you need to struggle and drive?
I have come to understand that love is also about reflection – and the responsibility of living in a way that supports my body, so that my children see this and understand the importance of it. They are far too busy watching what I am doing – rather than just listening to me telling them what to do.
This is such a beautifully confirming blog for its author and helped me to see just how much negative self-talk goes on in the background of my mind, instilling doubt and delay of expressing my love to others. Also, I love the approach of not following through with a decision that caused you to feel a tension in your body that does not feel like it belongs. This is a good marker to pay attention to when we are perhaps making a decision that will not ultimately support us in the end.
Yes, our body always communicates and it is an opportunity to develop a deeper relationship with that communication so we can respond in a way that expands not caps us.
A parcel of joy is well described that we are, and we have to be. We are rich by nature – by our essence that is. Appreciation is something we can truly use in a growing way..
Beautiful, it is a key to appreciate for us to grow in life: without appreciation there is no possibility of setting true and solid foundations. And so accepting is very needed to work together with appreciation.
Our body is constantly trying to bring us to absolute honesty, and if we were to listen to what it is telling us we would realize that it is our best friend because it is through absolute honesty that we deepen our connection with ourselves and the universe.
This is is a powerful quote about love that you share from your meeting with Serge Benhayon. How simple to be love when we can acknowledge another’s pain and stop being in sympathy or trying to fix things for them.
“I posed the question to him “what is Love?” He replied it is what a child feels when they sense a person’s sadness and, if choosing to hug them or smile at them, just feeling and acknowledging the sadness but not taking it on, to be something they then carry around with them”.
Coming from a background where there was an enormous amount of distress and trauma I learnt to do as much as I could for others from a young age, in that I lost my essence of love – to simply be me. Today I walked past a baby who was just being himself in full, absolute love, light and joy, which everyone could feel, he was lighting up the world around him. I’m still learning to be me and that that is enough and not go into other people’s stuff. Reading this blog today and seeing the baby as well really consolidated the truth presented here.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder that knowing love through feeling in the body is amazing, but it doesn’t last unless expressed and expanded through movement. It is for everyone.
When we are assured in ourselves it matters not what another does. As when we hold so much value on what we know to be true.
Knowing who we are is very supportive, we can then just observe another, ‘Now I rarely get affected if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am. I see they are exactly the same as me first – before I see the choices that take them away from who they really are.’
Beautiful, beautiful, as it reveals the burden(s) we have put between us and our endless love.
Appreciation can only start from inside, it has to be re-connected too and breathed as then it is so powerful it can not not be shared. Thank you for sharing your understanding and choices of where you have come to so far.. Appreciation.
A beautiful sharing and a joy to read this morning, thank you Anonymous. There is nothing like this feeling of being fully present in our bodies and open to living life to the full.
Re-connecting to the power of love and discovering all that love is not that I had thought it was is utterly joyfully liberating and exquisite. Unimedpedia Love provides a glimpse: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html
Love is so very much grander and more vast than we can even imagine and yet we all know it for we are of it and know what it is not. To get a feeling for the size of it we know God is Love but even then we bastardise the word by attributing all sorts of totally unloving qualities to God. At Unimedpedia you can also find further insights into God: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-god.html
How many times have we all made a choice and followed through on it all the while our heart and body was saying no.
Anonymous you have offered some very practical step by step guides on how to listen to your body. Little markers that speak loud to us if we chose to hear. Building more trust in the communication from our bodies, then the communication from the head.
A gorgeous sharing thank you Anon, what an amazing transformation takes place in our lives when we open up to truly loving and appreciating ourselves and hold others in this same love. ” I now own a parcel of joy called me… and there is nothing like it in this world. “
When one chooses to not be in the authority of the truth of their body, what are they choosing? Love or lies? Even dismissing ourselves in the slightest can be the outplay of a significant choice of energy.
“I am learning to truly appreciate others, and truly appreciate me.” As we appreciate and live the Love that we are it is felt equally in others.
Delicious to read and feel you open up here Anon. Shows it is never too late to say yes to love and embracing who you are as who you truly are never leaves and remains as a possibility to one day live.
There are two different movements: one is propelled by the doing for the others (perfect alibi to leave you behind); the other is a movement propelled by the all (a movement that includes you, but not the you as in you with your name and last name).
Eduardo thats really lovely to read and feel the difference in doing for others vs moving for all.
Discovering I have love and joy in my body is the biggest gift in my life. This is a precious gift which can be taken away by the seemingly smallest of actions, like putting my body in stress or doing things too slowly, all causing not loving energies to enter to my body.
Thank you Willem, it’s a great comment, our lives are now about observing what works and what doesn’t to hold this precious love and joy within, not only for ourselves but for everyone we meet and for nature and the animals… in fact it is our responsibility to the entire universe.
It’s amazing, Anonymous, that you have taken your body from one that appeared to be completely lacking in any form of love and was so very abused – not only by yourself but by others as well – to one that is love and holds love in a manner that can be felt simply from the words you have written. You embody and are a living example of the power of love.
We truly learn how to appreciate others when we start appreciating ourselves – in who we are and what we are worth, and I dont mean money wise. We need a deeper acceptance of ourselves to give then space of love and appreciation to others. Hence our key lays within our own living – how we are with ourselves ends up to how we are with each other.
Beautiful Anonymous, we can become so used to living hard, to pushing through and ignoring what truly feels good that we think it is ‘normal’ to feel sore and exhausted. But there are certain things in life, like the Esoteric Modalities that cut through all this stuff and reveal that our body naturally knows love back to front. Just give living it a go and see how it feels. My experience is our bodies revel in being cared for.
Appreciating the many little things that we feel about ourselves, even if we have got something wrong it does not matter – accepting our imperfections is part of the process. Building appreciation in this way changes our perception of ourselves and then the world.
It seems ridiculous for us to not know what love is, we have made so many variations to what it is in truth and have come so far from what love is. It was very refreshing to read the description Serge gave you in your session. True love is a holding not an absorption.
What a beautiful transformation – thank you for sharing how the power of appreciation ignites our will to re-claim the love we are, be the love we are, live the love we are and share the love we all are in essence.
“To understand what I understand today not only makes life enjoyable but makes it a celebration, simply because of how I feel in my body. ” This is simplicity and love all rolled into one, because it is a confirmation of who we are from our bodies movements from what we first feel and then it is also an appreciation of who we all are as we are all connected via the joy and freedom we feel from our bodies as an expression of all. That is a true celebration.
I have started connecting more with my joy lately. It sounds weird but I feel it in my feet first and that gives me a marker of joy for the rest of my body. Slowly I am allowing the joy to spread to other parts of my body, for it is the shoulders where I hold back expressing joy the most.
Beautiful Thomas, I have visions of your feet dancing and your body deciding whether it will play along.
It’s absolutely miraculous to feel the changes we can make when we choose to live with love and responsibility as our focus.
By feeling the love in my heart I confirm that who I am and just by deepening it is to allow the endlessness of it. That is to me the deepest form of appreciation. to accept we are that love by surrendering to it in our body.
Very beautifull.
I can be in my joy in every single moment, just by being in my body.
And in that hold others in my love no matter what they do.
Appreciation and confirmation are essential daily activities for us all, ‘I am learning to truly appreciate others, and truly appreciate me.’ Great choice, I too am making this choice.
Imagine driving to work everyday and continually taking a wrong turn every time and perpetually ending up in a dead end. This is a bit how life can seem to me. I know the way I am to go, know the truth of what love is, but can find myself sidetracked and delayed going this familiar ‘wrong way’. These days the sooner I can realise I have done it again, I can reroute and get my bearings again. But today thanks to your words Anonymous I am wondering if I truly need to get lost, when the way ahead is mapped out so bold in my heart.
There is a lot to appreciate and celebrate about life. It starts with the small things with every moment to cherish understanding that through your movement will determine what type of thought you will have. The awareness is the celebration.
I love the fact that Love does not take on other people’s stuff. This is a great way to identify what Love is and what it is not.
Very true Elizabeth… without markers like this to guage what is love and what isn’t, it’s very easy to fall for the idea of what love is, rather than what it actually is. Many times l’ve been pulled up for something l’m doing or saying and much as I don’t like it at the time, I can easily feel if it comes with judgment and critique or whether it comes with love. The former is very hard to let in and feels condemning, whereas the other feels holding and supportive.