Understanding Life, My Choices and Appreciating Me

I recently took the time to reflect back on understanding my life, the choices I have made, and how these choices affected me.

Writing the blog ‘From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love’ allowed room for me to take time to truly reflect on understanding life in a true sense, and for the self-appreciation that I now know I deserve.

I have gone from someone who only thought about keeping her children warm, fed and safe (or what I deemed to be safe at the time) while giving no thought or concern to my own well-being, to a woman who now naturally does this for herself. This is nothing short of an amazing transformation. I went from hating myself deeply with every thought and action to having a conscious understanding of why I was doing this and replacing these thoughts with more understanding and care for myself. This inner appreciation slowly made way for much more Love and beauty to expand in my body.

Meeting Serge Benhayon & Reintroducing Love into my Being 

I remember sitting down with a man named Serge Benhayon ten or so years ago and him mentioning the word Love. I posed the question to him “what is Love?” He replied it is what a child feels when they sense a person’s sadness and, if choosing to hug them or smile at them, just feeling and acknowledging the sadness but not taking it on, to be something they then carry around with them.

At the time I could not relate. I was so far from understanding what Love meant – I thought it was something to be received from others or given to others, not something I could tenderly nurture and grow for myself. I know now what Love is and how amazing, energising and healing it feels in my body. I can feel love throughout my body, through tingly sensations where all areas of my body come to life. I feel a huge sense of completion and joy and I am very content.

Knowing love in my body and freely feeling this only lasts if I keep expanding myself by following through with any true impulses or feelings I have – when I feel them. At the moment I understand an impulse to be a feeling that comes to me, which quite often requires me to put it into some kind of action or expression. This may be a simple thought or feeling such as stopping and hugging my son or husband with all that I am.

I know it is an impulse/thought/feeling that will help me grow: what confirms this to be a true impulse is the contrast when I feel a sneaky thought or feeling inside of my head that is very dismissive, saying things like:

  • “I can’t do that.”
  • “Now’s not the time.”
  • “You will look silly.”
  • “They do not want this at the moment.”

or something along those lines. The reasons these afterthoughts are so damaging is because they are thoughts that try to keep me in an old way of being without allowing new ways of being and doing things – which then allow me to live life in a more loving way.

Understanding Life is a Celebration

To understand what I understand today not only makes life enjoyable but makes it a celebration, simply because of how I feel in my body. If you had told me this was possible twenty years ago, I would have thought you were insane or on better drugs than me.

When I listen to the effect my choices have on my body, and I feel tension or unease around a choice I am making, I know it not to be right for me. In that, I am learning to be more aware of my choices simply by listening more to my body.

Now I rarely get affected if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am. I see they are exactly the same as me first – before I see the choices that take them away from who they really are. I now own a parcel of joy called me… and there is nothing like it in this world. I can connect with others and be together with them in all the Joy we are, whether or not they are aware that they too are that Joy – and in that, I am learning to truly appreciate others, and truly appreciate me.

By Anonymous

Further Reading:
From A False Foundation of Abuse to a True Foundation of Self-Love

821 thoughts on “Understanding Life, My Choices and Appreciating Me

  1. This blog is such a gem, thank you so much, when you write ‘if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am’ … it was a lightbulb moment for me to realise that when I feel annoyed in how another is and that they’re not being true, it’s to come back and deepen my connection with me, and know who I am. Great to be reminded.

  2. ‘Now I rarely get affected if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am’. What a powerful confirmation of the changes you have made, this is pure gold when we observe we no longer react. For so long I also got affected by others especially if I felt hurt by their actions. Very recently I received a little package from my Soul which provided the confirmation of how much I had shifted and expanded. The situation that presented itself to me, would have in the past left me feeling a victim and/ or very hurt, and I would have stayed in my protection not expressing. However, I was able to bring understanding and allow this person to be where they were at which meant I did not take on any of their stuff but neither did I impose judgement or criticism on them either. And most importantly I did express my truth, which was a healing for me. Much for me to appreciate….

  3. “When I listen to the effect my choices have on my body, and I feel tension or unease around a choice I am making, I know it not to be right for me. In that.” It is that simple when we stop to listen we know when we feel the unease or tension in that moment its not write for us.

  4. ‘if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am’ we can just connect back to our stillness and see things clearly and deepen that connection.

  5. Love is so simple but we let ‘need’ get in the way and masquerade as love. Once we un-mask this intruder the presence and simplify of what is – Love is there.

  6. Thank you Anonymous. I have a new job in a part of the city where there are many homeless people sleeping on the street. At first I went into sympathy and reaction as it was horrible to see people choosing to live this way. Now I am beginning to see that sympathy does not support anyone. Instead I accept what others have chosen and see who they really are.

    1. I had a similar experience yesterday Leonne. I was walking under a railway bridge where I saw at least 6 homeless people on their makeshift beds. At first it distressed me and lowered my mood, but I soon realised my emotion was not supporting them or me.

  7. What you show here so clearly is that life is a step by step process with allowing ourselves to learn to be loving and deeply caring with ourselves and with that we slowly build a solid foundation we stand on and can keep building form there.

  8. Dear Anonymous I too used to think love was something that was given to me or that I gave to others rather than something I could nurture and grow for myself. This new understanding of being love for myself first has transformed my life and all my relationships, especially when it comes to allowing others to be, and not taking on their emotions.

  9. ‘Now I rarely get affected if someone is acting in a way separate from the truth of who they are, because I know who I am’ – This statement is so true. The more I get to know me and the more I choose me, the more love that I hold in my body and there is no room for anything else.

  10. Very beautiful, Anonymous. What you have shared has brought a greater deepening of my understanding of Love. Thank you.

  11. Taking time to reflect is a very self honouring thing to do as it gives us an opportunity to appreciate who we are and how we are in life.

  12. This is a massive turn around to go from hating yourself to loving yourself, ‘This is nothing short of an amazing transformation. I went from hating myself deeply with every thought and action to having a conscious understanding of why I was doing this and replacing these thoughts with more understanding and care for myself. This inner appreciation slowly made way for much more Love and beauty to expand in my body.’

  13. I love the fact that Love does not take on other people’s stuff. This is a great way to identify what Love is and what it is not.

  14. There is a lot to appreciate and celebrate about life. It starts with the small things with every moment to cherish understanding that through your movement will determine what type of thought you will have. The awareness is the celebration.

  15. Imagine driving to work everyday and continually taking a wrong turn every time and perpetually ending up in a dead end. This is a bit how life can seem to me. I know the way I am to go, know the truth of what love is, but can find myself sidetracked and delayed going this familiar ‘wrong way’. These days the sooner I can realise I have done it again, I can reroute and get my bearings again. But today thanks to your words Anonymous I am wondering if I truly need to get lost, when the way ahead is mapped out so bold in my heart.

  16. Appreciation and confirmation are essential daily activities for us all, ‘I am learning to truly appreciate others, and truly appreciate me.’ Great choice, I too am making this choice.

  17. Very beautifull.
    I can be in my joy in every single moment, just by being in my body.
    And in that hold others in my love no matter what they do.

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