Healing Anxiety with Self Love

For most of my life I have had anxiety of one degree or another, manifesting as compulsive hand washing at the age of eleven, to constant checking in my teens and adult years, along with panic attacks which I experienced palpitations, sweating and shaking… It was very exhausting and debilitating: a reaction to life’s stresses and all the beliefs in the world… the “shoulds and should nots“, “got to’s“, “it’s this… it’s that“, “it’s because of“…  All the external views and opinions as opposed to what I was feeling within, along with a lack of trust in myself and my decisions.

I had tried many self-help strategies and various orthodox and complementary treatments, none of which had any lasting effect. I learned to live with it the best I could.

When I started attending and listening to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine this began to change, and with the support to understand myself more deeply from Esoteric Practitioners, mainly Simone Benhayon, I began to care for myself and build a foundation of love for myself.

I developed an understanding of eating foods to support myself rather than feed my reactions and emotions, to really listen to my body and what I felt was right for me rather than doing what I thought was expected or that I should do: it’s amazing how these have underpinned most of my decisions and choices in life.

I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.

When I could feel the anxiety rising I started to bring myself back to my body by feeling my hands and feet, how my body was moving, how my food tasted and felt in my mouth – just simple things that brought my focus back to me rather than the situation that was scaring me.

When I had times where this level of anxiety happened I would take extra care in nurturing myself to support myself through it, and afterwards, to help my body recover, by having a soothing bath with oils or bubble bath then tenderly putting cream on my body. Or by going for a gentle walk, making a calming cup of herbal tea or sitting quietly and listening to the birds in the trees.

Over time, as I continued to love and care for myself, building my foundation, I found that I wasn’t reacting in the way I used to. I noticed the situations would occur but I would stay steady. I may have wobbled a bit but I came back to a steadiness that was within me – it felt strong.

This steadiness is growing as I continue to build love and I find more and more I stay steady in situations that before would have completely thrown me: my trust in myself has grown so much.

I continue to work with this and now my anxiety is at a level where I feel it as a tension in my muscles, for example in my arms and across my shoulders. When I feel this in my body I know there is anxiety at play and I am then able to look at the cause and can stop it pretty quickly by bringing myself back to my body. I am now aware and can feel how it is a choice I am making and I can change that choice at any time, whereas before it just seemed to happen to me.

I no longer feel the need to check things now I have this steadiness inside me… it’s just not there. If from time to time my heart starts to pump, I say to myself: “It’s a choice, Ruth.” I can choose to feel differently, which I do by connecting to my steadiness, and it stops.

Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.

Each day I experience how my steadiness keeps me much more balanced and able to deal with life, moment to moment. My energy levels are sustained and I get to enjoy the day so much more.

Thank you Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon and Universal Medicine for inspiring me to care for myself and helping me to understand that how I live affects my health.

By Ruth Ketnor, London, UK

Further Reading:
~ Anxiety Is Not Something You Just Have To Put Up With – There Is Another Way
~ Beating Anxiety Gentle Breath Meditation
~ From a Life of Depression to a Loving Life

803 thoughts on “Healing Anxiety with Self Love

  1. “Each day I experience how my steadiness keeps me much more balanced and able to deal with life, moment to moment. My energy levels are sustained and I get to enjoy the day so much more.” I have experienced this too Ruth being inspired to be far more tender and caring with myself and when I truly support myself the steadiness I feel in my body supports me back.

  2. It’s great to read another article that is basically let us know that the key to anxiety is to feel and not just to accept it or try and make it better. Once you are anxious it’s more difficult to see it but by taking care of yourself more and more deeply we are able to feel more of the subtle feelings of anxiety and not let things escalate further. We often fight, accept, distract, harden and suppress our feelings when in fact just allowing ourselves to feel what is going on in any moment is the key and the power to unlock what and how the feeling is there in the first place. The more we stop running from feelings the simpler things become.

  3. I love this technique of coming back to being aware of my body, as it seems to work everytime there is anxiety rising up inside. And it can be as simple as feeling my toes, or being aware of my jaw, or how I open a door.

  4. “Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.” I find this is the case with a lot of things – over eating, rushing, being messy, allowing abuse…when we work on loving ourselves it is amazing what simply falls away without even trying.

  5. This is great what you share Ruth, deepening self love and care to bring a steadiness in the body and to be able to choose that anxiousness is a choice and we don’t need to choose it. Bringing it back to the body, really is a lovely simple way to reconnect to the self.

  6. It is very much keeping my thoughts in line with what my body is doing at that moment and boy oh boy how easy it is to let my mind wonder and to get anxious over what might be going to happen, or going over all the possibilities how things could go wrong and how to control these situations. Pretty exhausting way of life. But like you share I have a choice to connect to my body and breathe my breath and to deeply care for the precious lady I am.

  7. Serge presented today the possibility of anxiety being us bottling up our divine expression. It’s like heaven knocking at our door and us keeping the door closed.

  8. Once we come to the awareness that our anxiousness stems from our reaction to certain triggers that we allow affect us in life, we are well on the way to uncovering its root cause, and from here we can choose the appropriate healing route which may be as simple as coming back to our gentle breath and connecting more deeply with our body, or in seeking the support of an esoteric healing practitioner.

  9. Anxiety is not who we are. Love is who we are. Therefore when we feel anxious, we simply have to return to being who we are, which is love. This process of deepening the love within us through self-care feels simple, but it is very effective.

  10. There is such a delicateness in what you’ve shared here Ruth – that in dealing with anxiety, we needn’t judge ourselves, or be hard on ourselves as if we’re ‘wrong’ or ‘at fault’… What you’ve shared here on building a ‘foundation of love’ is key, and how practically and simply we can all takes steps with this in our own lives.
    Deeply inspiring, thank-you for sharing this.

  11. Ruth, I have also found that bringing awareness to my own body – being ‘consciously present’ in my movements and connecting with how my body is feeling is key, not only to anxiety or anxiousness, but any nervous tension whatsoever.
    The simplicity of returning to feeling our feet walking on the ground, to being attentive to our posture and the way we are holding our bodies, the way we are breathing… is fundamental in holding ourselves in this world. Serge Benhayon’s teaching on this, inclusive of the modality of Esoteric Yoga, are invaluable in this regard. My life has also changed remarkably since applying these concepts – step by step – in my own daily living.

  12. Ruth this is a very beautiful and deeply healing way you dealt with your anxiety, rather than feel like the anxiety owned you you chose to take loving steps to heal this condition and bring a quality and a steadiness that has supported you immensely.

  13. For much of my life I lived with no awareness of the low grade anxiety I was in. A few years ago I became aware of this and have supported myself to make changes. What I found interesting was recently when some things were coming up for me to look at, things that were quite uncomfortable and revealing, one of my coping mechanisms was to go into anxiety. I realised how I use anxiety to not feel and to check out.

  14. In reading this blog this morning I realise how much more tender with myself I could be, not just at certain times, but all the time. Thank you Ruth.

  15. ‘I am now aware and can feel how it is a choice I am making and I can change that choice at any time, whereas before it just seemed to happen to me.’ It’s absolutely revolutionary to know and feel that if we are feeling emotional in any way, it is a choice we’re making and so therefore we can make another one. A wise friend once expressed to me that feeling overwhelmed is actually a very powerful choice – one that is saying ‘I don’t want to take responsibility for myself in this moment and so I’m going to be overwhelmed so I have a seemingly good excuse not to’. This has helped me enormously to be able to come back to my steadiness in my connection to my body when I have been feeling the first signs of being anxious and overwhelmed.

  16. I can relate to your experience Ruth as I had been an anxious person most my life starting in childhood when I would worry about things ‘a little girl should not be worrying about’ (I overheard my parents say that about me). I saw and felt EVERYTHING but instead of staying steady within myself, I lost myself by absorbing all that I felt, which included the toxic emotions, thoughts and movements of another, and then identifying with it all as my own. What this meant was that I walked around in a constant state of overwhelm, like a dam ready to burst. I was prone to many anxiety attacks and panic attacks as well as emotional outbursts. Coming to the Universal Medicine presentations and learning how to observe the world and let myself feel all that there is to feel without absorbing it all, has been a lifesaver for me. It is a work in progress because it requires as you say, a steady rebuilding of love so well worth it for the steady footing it assures you in the world.

  17. Ruth this is such a supportive blog for anyone who experiences anxiety, the choices you made to begin to heal this condition to now living your life with more ease and steadiness reminds us what’s possible when we begin to truly love and care for ourselves.

  18. Having also suffered anxiety and stress for most of my teen years and well into my twenties I now find the consistency to keep coming back to my connection to my body and how I move helps significantly. Even something as simple as feeling my feet on the ground or how my hands feel when i touch something can really bring me back to the present moment and my mind does not stray because the focus is on the simple movements. I find it’s the consistency to keep checking in with myself and how I move really can halt the anxiety and bring true love to the fore.

  19. Ruth I really enjoyed reading this again and could relate to many things you shared. Anxiety has been so normal in my life I had not really questioned where it still arises – for example double checking things. It’s definitely ok to re-check things but I can feel how much of this is done in anxiety. I could also relate to this “a lack of trust in myself and my decisions” but I hadn’t actually realised this about myself until I read your words. The initial feeling is ok, but when the “what if’s” come in then the anxiety starts. You’ve given me great inspiration to look at trusting myself more.

  20. “Anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over” – this is such an amazing realization, and by coming back to our body we come back to ourselves. I recognise how I get carried away in my own reaction, identifying with it, creating an issue when I am disconnected from my body.

  21. It is so important that when we are dealing with an issue like anxiety that we see it as a habit or a pattern that we have adopted and not part of who we are. That underneath the anxiety we have an inner essence that is not anxious at all.

  22. Anxiety like all other emotions are constantly being felt by us and we can never stop feel the tensions that emotions create but when we express the truth from our inner-most connection we can feel that we are actually nothing to do with any emotion. This connection is happening from our movements well before any thoughts about being anxious come up, so we stay connected through our divine movement.
    There is a great course that is available to everyone so for more on anxiety go to;
    Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
    http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14

  23. A super sharing on how you got to discover that anxiety is a choice and that you can choose differently. Simple, but powerful, but then we are all super powerful when we stop playing small. And self-love is the medicine that can heal and literally transform our lives. I have learned to make loving choices that truly support my body and now I love to give to myself and take care of all my needs.

  24. Ruth I remember trying to ‘fix’ my anxiety. One of the things I would do was put ‘don’t get anxious,’ on my list of things to do. I chuckle a bit to myself when I remember those days. What I have realised is it’s the small day to day decisions I make to support and look after myself that build into a way of being that then eventually caused my anxiety to dissipate. Thanks for writing this blog, because I know anxiety is something that many people are living with.

    1. Yes, Debra, this blog is definitely very supportive and practical. Affirmations as an attempt to ‘fix’ behaviours never work, as they are lies we tell ourselves and lies never resolve anything.

  25. I found reacting to life always brings stress and complication, we let go of our inner connection and allow anxiousness to take hold. I have found committing to self-love and a deeper relationship with myself has built an inner steadiness and strength and a trust and acceptance in myself which is truly empowering.

  26. ‘I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.’ This is great Ruth as we are only ever providing our-self with the answer to take away these types of perceptions by the way we Lovingly move and thus therefore connect to our body. It is the same with so many situations lets say being an alcoholic we are not ever an alcoholic, we may have drank alcohol but we are always in essence divinely connected so by our will and divinely loving ways we can return to that essence. So what are Divinely Loving ways, could they be every movement we make to the best of our abilities, which even includes the way we speak, as that is also a movement and if this is true we can also add our thoughts? So as you say Ruth; ‘Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.’

  27. Coming back to our body and being aware of it as you describe is a powerful tool, ‘When I could feel the anxiety rising I started to bring myself back to my body by feeling my hands and feet, how my body was moving, how my food tasted and felt in my mouth – just simple things that brought my focus back to me rather than the situation that was scaring me.’ Lovely to hear how these techniques made such a difference.

  28. I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.” Realising that we are not our emotions is true liberation.

  29. So many people live in anxiety and think it’s normal, that it’s part of life and you just need to get on with it. No wonder coffee is so popular and alcohol and cigarettes – we are exhausted from being in anxiety and need to take the edge off life.

  30. Certain situations will be triggers for some people to go into anxiousness, understanding the root cause of these triggers will be beneficial along with having tools to use, like the Gentle Breath Meditation, or really feeling and connecting with our body.

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