For most of my life I have had anxiety of one degree or another, manifesting as compulsive hand washing at the age of eleven, to constant checking in my teens and adult years, along with panic attacks which I experienced palpitations, sweating and shaking… It was very exhausting and debilitating: a reaction to life’s stresses and all the beliefs in the world… the “shoulds and should nots“, “got to’s“, “it’s this… it’s that“, “it’s because of“… All the external views and opinions as opposed to what I was feeling within, along with a lack of trust in myself and my decisions.
I had tried many self-help strategies and various orthodox and complementary treatments, none of which had any lasting effect. I learned to live with it the best I could.
When I started attending and listening to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine this began to change, and with the support to understand myself more deeply from Esoteric Practitioners, mainly Simone Benhayon, I began to care for myself and build a foundation of love for myself.
I developed an understanding of eating foods to support myself rather than feed my reactions and emotions, to really listen to my body and what I felt was right for me rather than doing what I thought was expected or that I should do: it’s amazing how these have underpinned most of my decisions and choices in life.
I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.
When I could feel the anxiety rising I started to bring myself back to my body by feeling my hands and feet, how my body was moving, how my food tasted and felt in my mouth – just simple things that brought my focus back to me rather than the situation that was scaring me.
When I had times where this level of anxiety happened I would take extra care in nurturing myself to support myself through it, and afterwards, to help my body recover, by having a soothing bath with oils or bubble bath then tenderly putting cream on my body. Or by going for a gentle walk, making a calming cup of herbal tea or sitting quietly and listening to the birds in the trees.
Over time, as I continued to love and care for myself, building my foundation, I found that I wasn’t reacting in the way I used to. I noticed the situations would occur but I would stay steady. I may have wobbled a bit but I came back to a steadiness that was within me – it felt strong.
This steadiness is growing as I continue to build love and I find more and more I stay steady in situations that before would have completely thrown me: my trust in myself has grown so much.
I continue to work with this and now my anxiety is at a level where I feel it as a tension in my muscles, for example in my arms and across my shoulders. When I feel this in my body I know there is anxiety at play and I am then able to look at the cause and can stop it pretty quickly by bringing myself back to my body. I am now aware and can feel how it is a choice I am making and I can change that choice at any time, whereas before it just seemed to happen to me.
I no longer feel the need to check things now I have this steadiness inside me… it’s just not there. If from time to time my heart starts to pump, I say to myself: “It’s a choice, Ruth.” I can choose to feel differently, which I do by connecting to my steadiness, and it stops.
Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.
Each day I experience how my steadiness keeps me much more balanced and able to deal with life, moment to moment. My energy levels are sustained and I get to enjoy the day so much more.
Thank you Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon and Universal Medicine for inspiring me to care for myself and helping me to understand that how I live affects my health.
By Ruth Ketnor, London, UK
Further Reading:
~ Anxiety Is Not Something You Just Have To Put Up With – There Is Another Way
~ Beating Anxiety Gentle Breath Meditation
~ From a Life of Depression to a Loving Life
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Lovely to read of the supportive tools Ruth had in place if needed, ‘When I had times where this level of anxiety happened I would take extra care in nurturing myself to support myself through it, and afterwards, to help my body recover, by having a soothing bath with oils or bubble bath then tenderly putting cream on my body. Or by going for a gentle walk, making a calming cup of herbal tea or sitting quietly and listening to the birds in the trees.’
It’s a huge turnaround from the debilitating way of being in the world ruled by anxiousness, to self care, self love and steadiness – congratulations. I was also reflecting on my own new steadiness recently which I attribute to all the support provided by Universal Medicine workshops and clinic sessions, they are truly an amazing organisation supporting people to change their lives.
“Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing”– this really speaks to me, and makes me realise how try to fix something without actually knowing therefore being able to align with and support the very foundation of what that is then we are returning to, and obviously we would not know that it is a re-turn rather than becoming.
Simple supportive tools to assist us if we notice anxiety creeping in, ‘When I could feel the anxiety rising I started to bring myself back to my body by feeling my hands and feet, how my body was moving, how my food tasted and felt in my mouth – just simple things that brought my focus back to me rather than the situation that was scaring me.’
Treating anxiety in this way is so empowering because they are tools we can use everyday, they cost nothing, they are ours and once we have made them part of our rhythm form a foundation that has no space for anxiety.
Ruth thank you for writing this blog as I’m sure we have all felt those reactions as you say
“a reaction to life’s stresses and all the beliefs in the world… the “shoulds and should nots“, “got to’s“, “it’s this… it’s that“, “it’s because of“…”
I hated all this as a child I particularly hated adults that expected me to do as they said and yet could break all the rules that they insisted that I followed. The worst insult was the ‘it’s because I said so’. I promised myself that if I had any children I wouldn’t expect them to do anything I wasn’t prepared to do my self and I would listen to them rather than talk down to them or over them or treat them as though they were insignificant; as I felt as a child that was a lack of appreciation of just how sensitive we all are.
“just simple things that brought my focus back to me” when we perceive complications in everything around us we lose sight of the truth of who we are.
Ruth I hear you sister!
When I was younger I used to have odd habits born out of anxiety, so glad that’s out of my system, it was exhausting.
It is so true and I also have come to know and experience that the true antidote to anxiety is connection as when we are at one with who we are with true settlement and everything we need to be and know, the choice then is if we honor it.
‘Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.’ The focus on what works, in this case love and care for ourselves, is always the key in building a foundation that supports us.
A foundation of care and love for ourselves is aways important, ‘ I began to care for myself and build a foundation of love for myself.’
What you’ve shared here can be applied to so many emotions: learn to just be with whatever is there to feel, without needing or wanting to feel any different, and build a sense of deep care and love in the body, and it becomes easier, when things do come up, to hold steady and not react.
When we start to see and feel that we always have a choice and things are not happening to us, it empowers us to make true choices based on what we feel in the body.
It is empowering to know we always have a choice, ‘I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.’
I totally understand your experience of anxiety Ruth having experienced this myself, there was a long period of my life when I carried a brown paper bag in my handbag and my psychiatrist allowed me to take a certain drug if my anxiety got too out of control. But I was asked to go drug free as much as possible. Meeting Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and his family was a game changer for me. By honestly working on issues mainly from my childhood I have become very steady in myself, I trust myself and I’m actually building a loving relationship with me! l am beginning to appreciate that I don’t have to make life hard work it is actually very playful.
What Serge and Universal Medicine are offering the world could change and very way we ‘do life’, and the flow on effect from that could potentially be an enormous reduction in health and mental health issues, less burden on the medical systems, increased productivity at work, more harmony in communities…. the list goes on.
‘I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.’ Spot on Ruth, having experienced anxiety myself throughout life I can relate to what you share, there is always a choice and we don’t have to be a slave to anxiety when it arises, by staying connected to my body I can usually respond in a loving and gentle way and this has then reduced the anxiety or it has stopped completely. We are powerful beings and we can support our bodies in many ways, I have found the Esoteric Modalities to be incredibly supportive in keeping me steady and the Gentle Breath Meditation has been a beautiful tool to use that has almost made a difference.
‘…how I live affects my health.’ This is so key Ruth, to understand this means we are able to take responsibility for our own health.
I used to ignore my feelings and smother them. But then I was less prepared for life and even more anxious. When I care for myself and put supportive measures in place (busy day tomorrow = Prep things today etc) I am less anxious, simple.
I’m the same Leigh, when I take care of things for the following day I feel very held by my own support, and I am not struggling with time because I am not organised. All the little details make a difference and it can be quite fun looking at new ways to bring more care into my life.
There is no quick fix for anxiety as all that is offered in our current world is about suppressing what we are feeling rather than acknowledging how super sensitive we all are and allowing this to be part of our expression.
This is exactly what I was discussing with a teenager about today how if we bring in self-care and self-love and bring it back to the body it actually reduces anxiety. All we need to heal ourselves is within we just need to love ourselves enough to start to honour what we feel and care for ourselves in such a way.
Yes and it builds trust. Unless we feel that we are not our anxiety, and by that I mean it is something we experience rather than a definition of who we are as a person, we will not invest in ourselves to the level that is needed for the anxiety to have no space in our body. Chances are will run around like headless chickens asking everyone else to do it for us which just heightens the anxiety because however well meaning and loving no-one else can do it for us.
Beautiful sharing Ruth. How many people know that true medicine begins with simply caring for and loving ourselves? The steadiness and love you feel in your body is the quality that makes it possible to respond to any situation without losing balance and sense of self. And even if momentarily we slip, we can always bring ourselves back
It is no wonder we feel anxious when we do not love ourselves and lack self-worth as we are always on edge as whether we will be able live up to what is being asked of us or if the facade we have built to hide and protect our lack of self-worth will be exposed. When we love ourselves we no longer need the protection or falseness and so consequently the anxiety drops away.
And by this revelation being brought closer to attention shows the responsibility we have of the quality we choose to live that is eventually making up our health.
When we do not have a steady foundation within we are like ships at sea. We can so easily be tossed around in our often chaotic world when we leave our inner-connection and compass through life.
What a revelation this is Ruth. ‘I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.’ Yes and as you share bringing our awareness back to the body, in the simple movements with love and care we build a steady foundation of love, which supports us and is always there should we leave ourselves.
We can all relate to having people who are steady in our life and how safe they are to be around. This can also be us if we learn to listen to and work with the messages from our body.
To have people close to us reflect a real steadiness is a blessing, and there has been times where I have been this same reflection for others too. It is amazing to appreciate that we are here to support each other and remind each other that we can choose to be ourselves and connect to our essence at any time.
Hi again Ruth, reading your blog again has been so supportive, I’ve recently been through a situation I’ve never encountered before which at times felt quite scary. As a result I really let the anxiety rule me, so it’s quite a blessing to come by your blog again and reconnect to the simple ways you have shared to be both more aware of and address anxiety – thank you.
When I have been anxious about something and I tell myself to not be anxious, it doesn’t work but when I let go of trying to fix the anxiousness and focus and connecting to my body it shifts very quickly. Now, I hardly ever feel anxious but when I do I feel equipped to bring myself back very quickly through reconnecting to my body and not let my thoughts run the show.
Telling oneself how one should be never works – doing so is just telling ourself lies. Speaking truth to ourself is to connect to our body.
A great point Jonathan, for if we listen to what our bodies say then there can be no lies for only the truth is spoken and with that anxiety can be a thing of the past.
If we reconnect to our bodies when we feel anxious we have an opportunity to learn why we are being anxious, to resolve the cause and thereby evolve.
“Over time, as I continued to love and care for myself, building my foundation, I found that I wasn’t reacting in the way I used to.” – Commitment to consistently building a foundation of a certain quality of presence in our body has a powerful ripple effect.
We are dis-eased when we are not in the body. This may manifest in different ways. These only heal when we register how different we feel when we are in the body and learn to appreciate it deeply.
I have found the Universal Medicine Therapies so supportive in helping me to build that inner steadiness, each session helps me to clear something such as a hurt, trauma, misconception, which then makes space for more of the real me, the love and steadiness, to be present. To be honest I didn’t even realise I had anxiety, I was just used to being “stressed out”, and in my Universal Medicine clinic sessions I became aware of what anxiety felt like, this then gave me an opportunity to address it when it came up during my day so I could support myself.
The Gentle Breath Meditation has helped me when I have been experiencing those extreme moments of anxiousness. Within two breaths I can feel the change in the anxiety.
It’s an incredibly empowering moment when we see that we are the ones steering the ship. When we see we are the ones who chose to live with certain situations and certain reactions.
One captain only and no team to lay blame!
Yes, an incredibly empowering moment. We are in charge, we can choose to be defined by whatever we want and our thoughts will feed that identification. If we start with the body, we change our movements and then change the repetitive and abusive cycle.
It actually makes so much sense. Anxiety is caused by the way we live so the only true way to cure it is to also look at how we are living.
So true Joshua, this is often overlooked and we often try to intellectualise a way out of anxiety instead of looking at the root cause.
Recently, I was listening to a recording of a meeting where various views were being discussed about a theme that was of a great interest to me, and what I noticed was how I was trying to clock whose opinion was right therefore I should side with. Where has my truth gone? Not being connected is a shaky ground to be in life, and I agree, it is not about ‘correcting’ that posture but it is in the self-loving choices that we find our way back to true confidence.
And through that deepening we get an opportunity to have a much more honest conversation with our bodies don’t we? It is a constant unfolding.
There is no question for me that the way we live affects our health, what you share here is gold because it shows us that the foundations are laid in the small, innocuous activities of self-care, like taking time to get ready, put cream on, be tender and kind to ourselves.
Yes, nothing is insignificant when it comes to the loving detail we apply to life, and our bodies so willingly respond.
What I have loved is that this is theory until such time as it is felt in the body, then it is a truth no-one can take away from us.
True.
Re-tuning back in with our body and listening to what we feel to do gives us the opportunity to re-connect with an innate wisdom we all have inside of us.
Anxiety is a choice but it is our everyday loving choices that supports us to make more loving choices. I find if I eat the wrong food, don’t get enough sleep or react to certain situations, I can feel anxious throughout my day.
Yes agree, I use to find certain foods and stimulating drinks would upset my physiology and cause an underlying tension in my body. When the body is ahead of itself it feels unsettling and not natural.
‘Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.’ This is beautiful Ruth, our connection to our bodies is key here allowing us to build a loving and consistent foundation that will support us in life.
I had not appreciated how truly lovely I was feeling and how light and playful I feel most days until recently. I have a tendancy to focus on the what is not rather than the what is and it wasn’t until I had a day of living feeling somewhat below par that I truly appreciated how different my new normal of playful joyful me had become.
Thank you Ruth, it’s profound how you changed the anxiety not through focusing on it as such but on your connection with you and your body – nurturing that in all moments that then gave you a new foundation that supported you to deal with the anxiousness if it came up.
Eating to pacify our emotions and reactions is something we do to comfort and numb ourselves so we don’t have to feel what we don’t want to feel.
I agree Susie, but when we make unloving choice to numb ourselves we tend to feel anxious and less able to feel our gorgeousness and who we are. Our body is constantly communicating to us and it takes a lot of effort to numb these messages from our body.
Ruth what you have shared here is very simple and practical, to come back to feeling the body when anxiety (or other stressful reactions happen) and to also be more loving, caring and gentle with ourselves. We may see these things as a relief from anxiety but they are actually a way of life. I still experience anxiety but I find coming back to the body and being very lovingly caring with myself not only helps to bring me back, but it also helps me to establish a foundation through how I live that means less anxiety happens.
“I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.” thank you Ruth for a great sharing of how you are healing anxiety by choosing self care and love. I have lived with so much anxiety in my life but have squashed it down so I could cope with it, but it was always there under the surface. How empowering it is to know that it is not who I am and that I have a choice in the matter, I have found as i build more self love in my body my anxiety is so much less.
The more I allow myself to be in my expansiveness the less anxiety I feel. When anxiety is sensed in my body it is a sure sign I am holding back and not bringing all of me to another or situation. What occurs to me is that I am then coming from self and investing in me and only me and not for the all.
‘Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.’ I feel too that if we want a long lasting and sustainable answer to anxiety then self care and self love is the way to be/go.
It certainly is Elaine. I have noticed through self-care and self-love my low level anxiety is no longer part of my everyday. I didn’t realise I had low level anxiety until I started to apply self-care and self-love, because this took me out of being in anxiety and gave me a marker of how amazing life is. So, when I dropped my connection and allowed anxiety to creep back in it became obvious I had been living with anxiety for most of my life.
If we allow anxiety to make us anxious we are on a downward spiral. If we listen to our body when it is showing us clearly that we are choosing anxiousness we can start to move in a way that brings us back to who we are.
So many people in the world suffer from anxiety to some degree or another – this blog is a testament to the fact that it doesn’t need to be a permanent part of your life, and can be healed, through very simple ways, like being more loving and kinder to yourself, building a loving foundation in your body to come back to.
” I began to care for myself and build a foundation of love for myself.”
So wonderful Ruth, the starting place of healing .
I deeply enjoy today as i celebrate how I surrender more to the universe.
Letting go control and accepting that I am part of the universe. The light is within and around me always. Endless thanks to Serge Benhayon for living this truth deeply.
How different would life be if we learn that dropping into our body changes everything and that we have the support we need it for this to happen.
” I developed an understanding of eating foods to support myself rather than feed my reactions and emotions”
This is a huge learning , a lot of the ills of our life are down to the simple fact that reaction is the easy way to not be responsible, thank you for sharing Ruth lovely.
When we deeply love our body it can surrender and we can let go of anxiety.
How we treat our body is related to how susceptible we are to anxiety and other common physical and mental health issues. So, it makes sense that we can also prevent ill health by deeply loving, caring and honouring our body.
I have found it super empowering over the years to feel the fact that anxiety is a choice not a thing that just happens or is because of life making it happen. That’s just giving our power away
Our bodies will always guide us to know who we in-truth are, and when we are not being, honouring or living who we are not. The greatest friend we could ever ask for, divine in its constellation and designed to embody love and truth, who we are in essence.
‘Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.’ I experience the same, it is about staying in my body, not giving myself a hard time when I feel the anxiety in my body but to go to the solid foundation that is always underneath this tension and give all my attention to being present and feel the love that is there.
Can someone tell me what book or teaching specifically deals with anxiety?
Thank you!
Hi Linda, I’ve personally found http://www.unimedliving.com a great resource on a variety of topics including anxiety. There’s a great mediation on anxiety at http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free/meditation-for-anxiety-and-stress/beating-anxiety-gentle-breath-meditation.html which I’ve also found super simple and very supportive in connecting back to my body and being able to feel what is really me and the layers of anxiousness I feel when I’m not being me.
Thank you so much Angela ❤
” Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing. ”
This is wonderful Ruth , by taking your power back and investing in loving and caring for yourself and therefore there is no power to feed the anxiety , so clever and wise.
I am so glad I found this site. What a relief!
Such wonderful and inspiring comments from all of you.
Thank you ❤
” Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.”
This is quite amazing , would it be possible to say that you have healed anxiety and therefore there is nothing to fix.
Thanks Ruth… I love this approach… The back door… It works in so many ways rather than feeling that we have to tackle something head on, we simply work on something simple that in front of us… And then, miracles do really happen.
What simple and accessible tools to help support the healing of an increasingly common condition. They should be taught to everyone – after all, I doubt there is a person on the planet who hasn’t suffered anxiety at one time or the other, if not chronically or acutely.
I agree Victoria, and increasingly younger and younger children are experiencing anxiety and by the time they reach their teens it can be debilitating. It is amazing to share how we can apply these tools that are accessible to everyone.
What you have shared here is something no-one can take away from you because it is all yours. It is your foundation that you have built from loving yourself enough to care for yourself. It sounds crazy that this is not our first choice but clearly for so many of us it isn’t. It is like we stop fighting fires, and actually look to ensure we nurture the space to ensure it is not flammable.
What a lovely sharing on how building a foundation of presence, nurturing and love have helped support you and your body, ‘I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.’
What really is extraordinary is how, with anxiety being such of such endemic proportions in our society, people actually keep going. The difference between truly living and just existing and getting through the day becomes more and more pronounced.
Certain situations will be triggers for some people to go into anxiousness, understanding the root cause of these triggers will be beneficial along with having tools to use, like the Gentle Breath Meditation, or really feeling and connecting with our body.
So many people live in anxiety and think it’s normal, that it’s part of life and you just need to get on with it. No wonder coffee is so popular and alcohol and cigarettes – we are exhausted from being in anxiety and need to take the edge off life.
I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.” Realising that we are not our emotions is true liberation.
Very true, and this highlights how vital developing a loving relationship with our bodies are, if we want to freely live who we truly are. As our bodies know only how to reflect the truth.
Coming back to our body and being aware of it as you describe is a powerful tool, ‘When I could feel the anxiety rising I started to bring myself back to my body by feeling my hands and feet, how my body was moving, how my food tasted and felt in my mouth – just simple things that brought my focus back to me rather than the situation that was scaring me.’ Lovely to hear how these techniques made such a difference.
‘I have realised that anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over.’ This is great Ruth as we are only ever providing our-self with the answer to take away these types of perceptions by the way we Lovingly move and thus therefore connect to our body. It is the same with so many situations lets say being an alcoholic we are not ever an alcoholic, we may have drank alcohol but we are always in essence divinely connected so by our will and divinely loving ways we can return to that essence. So what are Divinely Loving ways, could they be every movement we make to the best of our abilities, which even includes the way we speak, as that is also a movement and if this is true we can also add our thoughts? So as you say Ruth; ‘Trying to fix the anxiety didn’t work, but by loving and caring for myself it has naturally been diminishing.’
Ruth I remember trying to ‘fix’ my anxiety. One of the things I would do was put ‘don’t get anxious,’ on my list of things to do. I chuckle a bit to myself when I remember those days. What I have realised is it’s the small day to day decisions I make to support and look after myself that build into a way of being that then eventually caused my anxiety to dissipate. Thanks for writing this blog, because I know anxiety is something that many people are living with.
Yes, Debra, this blog is definitely very supportive and practical. Affirmations as an attempt to ‘fix’ behaviours never work, as they are lies we tell ourselves and lies never resolve anything.
A super sharing on how you got to discover that anxiety is a choice and that you can choose differently. Simple, but powerful, but then we are all super powerful when we stop playing small. And self-love is the medicine that can heal and literally transform our lives. I have learned to make loving choices that truly support my body and now I love to give to myself and take care of all my needs.
Anxiety like all other emotions are constantly being felt by us and we can never stop feel the tensions that emotions create but when we express the truth from our inner-most connection we can feel that we are actually nothing to do with any emotion. This connection is happening from our movements well before any thoughts about being anxious come up, so we stay connected through our divine movement.
There is a great course that is available to everyone so for more on anxiety go to;
Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
I highly recommend this coarse as I did it live and was so impressed that I also did it again with my wife and family online.
It is so important that when we are dealing with an issue like anxiety that we see it as a habit or a pattern that we have adopted and not part of who we are. That underneath the anxiety we have an inner essence that is not anxious at all.
“Anxiety is not who I am – it is a reaction that I can have a choice over” – this is such an amazing realization, and by coming back to our body we come back to ourselves. I recognise how I get carried away in my own reaction, identifying with it, creating an issue when I am disconnected from my body.
Ruth I really enjoyed reading this again and could relate to many things you shared. Anxiety has been so normal in my life I had not really questioned where it still arises – for example double checking things. It’s definitely ok to re-check things but I can feel how much of this is done in anxiety. I could also relate to this “a lack of trust in myself and my decisions” but I hadn’t actually realised this about myself until I read your words. The initial feeling is ok, but when the “what if’s” come in then the anxiety starts. You’ve given me great inspiration to look at trusting myself more.
Having also suffered anxiety and stress for most of my teen years and well into my twenties I now find the consistency to keep coming back to my connection to my body and how I move helps significantly. Even something as simple as feeling my feet on the ground or how my hands feel when i touch something can really bring me back to the present moment and my mind does not stray because the focus is on the simple movements. I find it’s the consistency to keep checking in with myself and how I move really can halt the anxiety and bring true love to the fore.
Yes and the tip about feeling your feet on the ground and your hands when you feel the anxiety coming or you are in a situation you hadn’t expected. That is a gift because we can’t expect to find a quiet space in a stress-full moment, we need practical things we can do at any moment. This is a gold nugget right there 🙂
Ruth this is such a supportive blog for anyone who experiences anxiety, the choices you made to begin to heal this condition to now living your life with more ease and steadiness reminds us what’s possible when we begin to truly love and care for ourselves.
I can relate to your experience Ruth as I had been an anxious person most my life starting in childhood when I would worry about things ‘a little girl should not be worrying about’ (I overheard my parents say that about me). I saw and felt EVERYTHING but instead of staying steady within myself, I lost myself by absorbing all that I felt, which included the toxic emotions, thoughts and movements of another, and then identifying with it all as my own. What this meant was that I walked around in a constant state of overwhelm, like a dam ready to burst. I was prone to many anxiety attacks and panic attacks as well as emotional outbursts. Coming to the Universal Medicine presentations and learning how to observe the world and let myself feel all that there is to feel without absorbing it all, has been a lifesaver for me. It is a work in progress because it requires as you say, a steady rebuilding of love so well worth it for the steady footing it assures you in the world.
‘I am now aware and can feel how it is a choice I am making and I can change that choice at any time, whereas before it just seemed to happen to me.’ It’s absolutely revolutionary to know and feel that if we are feeling emotional in any way, it is a choice we’re making and so therefore we can make another one. A wise friend once expressed to me that feeling overwhelmed is actually a very powerful choice – one that is saying ‘I don’t want to take responsibility for myself in this moment and so I’m going to be overwhelmed so I have a seemingly good excuse not to’. This has helped me enormously to be able to come back to my steadiness in my connection to my body when I have been feeling the first signs of being anxious and overwhelmed.
In reading this blog this morning I realise how much more tender with myself I could be, not just at certain times, but all the time. Thank you Ruth.
Simple gestures that support our body in a far greater way and brings us back to simple basic self-care that is paramount in our movements that brings out the vitality others are looking for.
For much of my life I lived with no awareness of the low grade anxiety I was in. A few years ago I became aware of this and have supported myself to make changes. What I found interesting was recently when some things were coming up for me to look at, things that were quite uncomfortable and revealing, one of my coping mechanisms was to go into anxiety. I realised how I use anxiety to not feel and to check out.